Native Speaker Listening Practice - A Conversation With Brooke about The Hidden Impacts of Stress

[00:00:00]So we are going to talk about why stress is is actually essential to our survival as humans. I want to talk a little bit with Brooke about the impact of constantly being in a stressed state and also how increased our stress levels are just generally now. We spend a lot of time feeling stress and experiencing stress stress almost to the point where it becomes like just normal. In fact, Brooke, when I sat down here and I had a quick chat with you before we went live, I said to you, [gasps] I have had a really stressful day. I've just had lots of things going on. And this conversation is very timely for me um because you are also here to talk about lots of different strategies to manage stress in our day-to-day life. So thank you Brooke for being here with us today. We are so excited to dive deeper.

[00:01:10]>> Thanks for having me. Excited to be here with you all.

[00:01:14]>> Yes. Um, ladies, as always, I can see that Lucia in the chat here is saying, "Hi, Brooke. We've already met here in Hey, lady. She must have been one of your buddies in our special International Women's Day."

[00:01:30]>> Yes, I have met a few of you before. So, that's so nice to have you here.

[00:01:35]>> Yes, it's good to know that you're here.

[00:01:37]Thanks for shouting out, Lucia. Maha Brooke is not a coach at Hey Lady, but she has certainly volunteered and come and supported Hey Lady for our special events. So some of you might recognize her if you've had the chance to meet her. But certainly uh we hope to see more of Brooke around here at Hey Lady, that's for sure. Jamie is tuning in. Those of you who don't know Jamie, she is our communications manager here at Hey Lady. So part of the Hey Lady team. She is listening into our discussion while she's on an afternoon walk. Um so the distress [laughter] >> so good.

[00:02:22]>> Yeah. Um oh Alicia also one of the lucky ones who met you as well. She says in the chat. So >> hello. Nice to have you here as well.

[00:02:32]Ladies, we are going to dive in. I've got a few questions to help us get started, but if you have any questions as we go, um, I want you to drop them in the chat box. I'm I've got a few of my own that we're going to get started with, but in a few minutes, I will jump back to the chat box and pick up any questions that you have about whatever Ch Brook Brooke is talking about.

[00:02:58][laughter] Ladies, I have a I have a Brooke and I are very close friends and I have a nickname for her and I just accidentally slipped it [laughter] and I called her Chook instead of Brooke.

[00:03:15]>> They'll love that. They'll love it.

[00:03:17][laughter] >> And for those of you who don't know, chook is a Australian slang for a chicken. [laughter] So there's >> There you go. You're getting an obie slang lesson, too. How perfect.

[00:03:30]All right. So, Brooke, let's get started. What is stress? It's a word that we use so frequently. We use it all of the time. And we have a really good sense of what it feels like. And we know, we certainly know when one of our friends or someone here in Hey Lady says, "I feel stressed." We know what she's talking about. But but what is stress and how >> what is stress? Yeah. Yeah. Look, stress is something none of us escape, right?

[00:04:03]We It is all is part of the human experience. We all experience it to some degree on different levels. It's actually really normal. It's a normal physiological response to danger. It's a survival mechanism. Um, and it's actually really beneficial when it is regulated. The trouble is when it is disregulated and we are staying in a heightened state of of stress for too long and it becomes more of a chronic state of being in fight or flight.

[00:04:39]So we do want stress um we actually can't survive without stress. Stress is necessary to motivate and energize and mobilize us. helps us to get things done and it helps us to assess for danger. So that is also a survival mechanism to make sure that we're safe.

[00:05:01]And when we have um our stress hormones like cortisol, probably a hormone that most of us have heard of is um when that is regulated, when that's working for us, it's really beneficial to our health in lots of ways. So the goal is not to eliminate stress. That's really unrealistic as humans. We're all going to run into stress um mostly on a daily basis to some degree and a lot of that is going to be out of our control. So you know the state of the world, what's happening with other people.

[00:05:38]So, what we want to be working on is our own stress response um and be able to regulate back to baseline after a period of stress. So, if we have a period of stress, we have a stressor or a trigger and it puts us into a state of fight or flight, we want to be able to regulate back to a calm state, which is where we rest, digest, repair. When we're in that state, we're also healing, which is really important for our health.

[00:06:13]And so, we generally are looking to regulate our nervous systems to a point where they are flexible and adaptable.

[00:06:22]So, we're adapting to those periods of stress and coming back to baseline as much as we can.

[00:06:28]Now, modern life, um, I think a lot of people will resonate with this that without even knowing it, we can become a little bit addicted to these stress patterns. So, that could be filling our calendars up completely and never having any downtime, always being busy, always um, rushing and achieving and attaching our self-worth to being busy and achieving as well.

[00:06:58]and feeling guilt for rest, not leaving any time or space for quiet downtime.

[00:07:06]When we're in this mode, we're stuck in fight or flight.

[00:07:12]Um, so we really want to be trying to move out of that state more frequently and being more so in that rest and digest calm state.

[00:07:23]Now, what's something really interesting I want you all to to know as well is that real stress, so a tiger is chasing you as opposed to perceived stress that might be worrying about an exam that hasn't happened yet, but it's something you're you're thinking about. It's the same physiological stress response. So it's the same hormones that get elevated in the same way whether it's real stress or it's imagined stress. So overthinking, worrying, those things as well can really impact your stress levels.

[00:08:03]One thing I wanted to demonstrate um was our capacity for stress. So I like to use the um analogy of a balloon.

[00:08:13]So imagine that I have a balloon here and over the day I'm adding to it and adding to it with my capacity for stress and by the end of the day with all the things that I take on and I don't say no to anything and I keep adding and adding the end of the day it's really fragile and very easy to burst. So, at the end of the day, if I spill a coffee on my new white shirt, I'm going to be at breaking point. It's going to burst that balloon really easily.

[00:08:47]I want you to imagine now if I have a balloon that I'm just blowing up a little bit and I'm letting some out.

[00:08:55]I've got some strategies to be able to regulate what comes in, what goes out, and it's not building up so much.

[00:09:04]The thickness of that balloon is much more resilient. So at the end of the day when I spill that coffee on my shirt, doesn't matter. I'll get it cleaned.

[00:09:16]It's not a big deal. So I'm not that close to breaking point when I'm regulating that capacity a lot better.

[00:09:23]So how we start our day in the morning really sets the tone for how our nervous system is going to respond to stress over the course of the day. So, we will talk a little bit more about setting you up in your morning to um help regulate your stress response over the day and not fill up that balloon so um fragile.

[00:09:48]That was really really helpful to just kind of step by step think about and understand all of those different kind of analogies and comparisons and things as you're, you know, introducing what stress really is. I want to give a little reminder to everyone who is here live watching. Brooke has an Australian English accent like me. And certainly if you have any questions about specific words or different ideas that Brooke is talking about as we are having our conversation, drop them into the chat box so that we can come back to them. Um there was one word that I wanted to just touch base about. you use this word regulate and disregul disregulate >> very uh frequently as you're talking about stress and I think probably uh lots of the ladies who are tuning in here will know this word but in case some of them haven't heard it used in this context regulate is about control would you agree Brooke maybe you can just explain that a little bit more Yeah, I guess in this context it's more about being able to come back to a baseline once you've elevated. So rather than really stressed, >> you're up.

[00:11:19]>> Yeah. So you don't want to pack a bag and stay there when you're up high, you want to be able to um what we would say is regulate, bring you back down to that baseline, that state of calm. So, it's the ability to adapt and be flexible with your stress response.

[00:11:40]>> And you also talked about two different states.

[00:11:44]Two different states. Um, you talked about fight or flight and rest, digest, and repair.

[00:11:54]Now, lots of the ladies, I'm sure, because like I said, we've been talking about this topic throughout the month, and I'm sure many of them are familiar with this idea. And in fact, ladies, let me know if you've heard fight or flight or rest, digest, and repair again. But can you also just super briefly, Brooke, just explain what those two things refer to in relation to stress? Hm. Well, we are going to talk shortly about what it feels like to be stressed. So that will give a good depiction of what that fight flight feels like. So in a nutshell, it is an elevated stress response. So when we've got hormones like cortisol and adrenaline in a stress response or reaction and we feel >> like when you're running from the tiger.

[00:12:48]>> That's when you're running from the tiger. Exactly. And then once the tiger is gone, there's no more danger and you're feeling calm and safe again.

[00:12:58]That's what we refer to as um your rest, digest, and repair state. So yeah, they're the opposite ends of the spectrum. We don't want to stay down in rest and repair forever because we'd get nothing done. We also need to have those bursts of stress as well.

[00:13:16]In your experience, what do most people not understand about stress? Like what is the one thing that we need to know about stress and how it impacts us? I feel like it's the fact that it becomes really normalized the level of stress that you experience long term. So whether that's yourself, you've always just grown up in a family that's really busy, doesn't allow time for rest, or maybe you're in a work environment that is really fast-paced and really demanding. It's very easy to compare yourself to the people you're surrounded with and feel like you need to match their busyiness and achieving and all of the things. So that would be something I would say is that the more you learn about yourself and your own capacity, the more you're able to make little tweaks and changes in your lifestyle.

[00:14:19]That might be setting some boundaries, saying no to some things, blocking out white space in your calendar. Those sorts of things can really help you to manage your stress better because you know what you can take on personally.

[00:14:33]Let's talk a little bit about how we can start to identify stress. There's probably some really like physical symptoms, but I imagine as well that um through your work there's other maybe less obvious things that are also signals for heightened stress levels.

[00:14:54]>> So, one thing about stress that's really helpful to understand is that it does impact everything in your body. So you could be eating the perfect diet, exercising every day, prioritizing sleep, but if you are in fight or flight all the time and stress to your eyeballs, it can that stress can override a lot of your healthy choices.

[00:15:21]So um working on that stress response is essential for all of your physical health as well. how it can manifest into symptoms that we feel. Um, a really common one would be anxiety. So, when you're feeling very like heightened and you've got fast and shallow breathing, you've got a lot of overthinking going on. Um, lots of worrying and thinking about what might happen. Um, thoughts that can't switch off. You might find it really hard to turn that brain off, especially at nighttime when you're trying to fall asleep. So often times people are getting on with their day and they're busy busy busy. They lie down in bed, it's dark, it's quiet, suddenly all the thoughts come up and we're thinking about all the things we've done and all the things we should have said and something that happened 3 years ago. So being able to calm that brain down um to rest is part of that that stress management. Um we might get brain fog which is like feeling like you can't concentrate and you're losing words and your memory isn't as sharp as it used to be. So can really affect your brain function. Um and also of course your sleep which I mentioned before.

[00:16:45]Something I think that a lot of people don't realize that they're stressed is the pace at which they do everything.

[00:16:52]So, they're rushing through every task.

[00:16:54]It could be brushing your teeth or having a shower. You're rushing, rushing, rushing, never being present and in the moment and taking it all in.

[00:17:04]It's all just get to the next thing. Get to the next thing.

[00:17:08]If you're feeling guilt when you rest or you feel really uncomfortable with rest, then that can be a big sign that there's a heightened stress response.

[00:17:21]And you might get to the point where you feel really agitated, so irritable. You might feel a bit more snappy at the people around you. You might feel overwhelmed, like you can't cope as well as you you could. Your capacity is lower. So, you can't take on as many things as you used to be able to without feeling that frustration and that overwhelm.

[00:17:45]And then over the long term, when we've been in this state of fight flight for a long period of time, we can absolutely reach a level of burnout, which is where we can feel really, really tired, have no motivation, and a really low mood as well. So, we don't want to get there. We want to catch these things before they manifest into something um deeper and more chronic.

[00:18:16]I think it like as you were listing all of those different symptoms, I think many of them were like, "Yep, standard.

[00:18:25]I know that. I got that." But then you hit a nerve with me when you said [laughter] [gasps] you said um if you are uncomfortable being still being uh having nothing to do I am like a chronic multitasker. I can't even hang the washing out without having a podcast in my ears. I, you know, I can't lie in bed and just like have a relaxing lion.

[00:18:59]I have to get up and feel like I'm doing something.

[00:19:04]>> And I instantly feel guilty about not having uh something to do or, you know, that I should be spending my time better.

[00:19:15]>> Um, yes. And I wonder if any of the ladies who are watching have, you know, experienced something similar or even um, you know, some of the other symptoms that you mentioned as well. I can see a few comments and things coming in here.

[00:19:30]Um, feeling guilty about taking a rest over the weekend, feeling stressed when you have a long list of things to do when you don't know where to start. Um, >> lots of you feeling very very similar, uh, similar. Um, I wonder, Brooke, like when you, you know, you're often talking about these subjects and is it is there a point like is it quite common for people to do what I just did and have a realization that something that has been completely normalized in their life and then realized, well, actually that could be a symptom of stress and it could your body or you know telling your telling you that actually >> you know you your body needs something different than what you're actually providing for it.

[00:20:28]>> Absolutely. Yeah. You're not alone. A lot of people are experiencing that in the same way. And I only think that with our access to information and content and stimulation like at any point in time we have this but instantly with a switch we can listen to a podcast music watch YouTube there's so many different things that we have on tap and so it's it's only getting worse and more normalized. for people and because it's so normalized it's really normal for people to multitask like you know I'll go and listen to that podcast while I'm doing a task around the home and some it's really not until someone brings it to your awareness like hey do you ever have any time in your day where your brain isn't processing information and you're giving it time to process thoughts and emotions and being able to work through things in your mind or is that all pushed to the side and then suddenly you get to bed and the thoughts all come in and you can't sleep. So yeah, many many people are in that same position and it's much more heightened now that we have access to so much and we can multitask a lot easier.

[00:21:56]So yeah, it's just about having that awareness of, oh yeah, actually I don't have any time in my day where I'm not on a screen or listening to something or consuming information.

[00:22:08]Maybe I'll see how I go taking my dog for a walk with no inputs, just me and my dog. And I'm not listening to music or a podcast. I'm just practicing being present. And we're going to talk a bit more about that. So that will come up again when I go through my recommendations for you guys.

[00:22:28]>> Yeah, I I actually made a really conscious effort to start my morning in the way that you just described on Monday morning uh last week on Monday.

[00:22:39]And I had the best day, like the most productive day. I felt really good because I'd started the day in silence and like focusing on pushing some thoughts out of my head rather than like adding more stuff in and >> getting some sunshine, getting some exercise and some movement in. And then by the time I sat down at my desk, I was feeling really good and I had lots of energy and I was able to respond in a really great way. Um, >> that's so great.

[00:23:14]I'm going to read out a couple of comments before we move on, Brooke. Um, >> yeah, please.

[00:23:20]>> In a left light a long message here. I have a tendency to stress a lot, especially when something negative happens and when I might feel like things are my fault. And I think like so much of the stress that we feel is >> like built inside of us. It's not always things happening to us, but it's like the things that we worry about or we feel anxious about or the things that haven't happened yet, but we're just trying to, you know, panic about all sorts of situations. She gets stressed around lots of people and being in the same room, especially if they're around her age because, you know, she struggled quite a bit socially at school. Um, and you know, she says like these feelings are what trigger stress in a a stress response for her. Um, and she really feels like being here in Hey Lady is like an an antidote to those kind of feelings of, you know, being in a place where all of those emotions are triggered and then being in a space where you don't, you know, need to be triggered by all of those feelings and emotions. And I think probably what in is getting at here is like how important it is to find the thing that is going to help you to to regulate to bring back that stress level to a baseline where you can feel >> comfortable and confident. And of course I have lots of conversations with all of these women about um creating a space when you are stepping into a space and speaking in your second language. That is where this feeling happens all the time. When your anxiety is like up high, am I going to make a mistake? What will they think about me? What if I sound like a fool? What if I get stuck? Um, this is going to be so humiliating and awful, all of the things.

[00:25:30]>> And then the reason why Hey Lady exists is to try and create spaces for each other >> where those feelings are not up here, >> they're down here a little closer to regulating. And that's super super important um to have some of those solutions.

[00:25:49]Community is so important, especially if you feel like maybe you don't have your people close by or you don't feel that comfortable being around lots of people physically. Yeah, these online communities like Hey Lady are so helpful for that for sure. And yes, you do have to find your thing. I don't think there's a cookie cutter solution for everyone. We all need to find the thing that resonates for us. And that's why I'll be giving you lots of different strategies that you can pick and choose from and see how it feels in your body.

[00:26:24]It's always good to be taking that time to connect to yourself like how do I feel with this like you did the other day when you started your morning. M >> you notice how you felt and that's the most motivating tool is when you really notice the difference how you show up as an employee, as a boss, as a partner, as a family member, as a parent. When you feel like you can show up better, that's one of your things that you should try and bring in a bit more frequently. For sure.

[00:27:00]>> That's a good point. is like I've I spent a lot of time trying to tell myself throughout that day, remember what this feels like. Like remember this feeling because it's so easy to get caught up and distracted in whatever else is happening. But when you kind of can pull pull yourself back to like what that felt like, it makes it so much easier >> to get to get out of bed and not reach for your phone and to >> exactly not do X, Y, and Zed when you're thinking about like that feeling that you felt. Anyway, in the interest of time, I would love to hear you talk a little bit about like how these heightened stress levels really impact our our health and our wellness.

[00:27:47]>> Yeah, of course. So, like I mentioned before, like you can be doing all the right things like eating well, exercising, all of those things, but if there is that really heightened stress, it can impact your body in many different ways because every system, every organ, every cell is responding to that stress because stress is a survival mechanism. So, we're running from the tiger. When you're in that heightened stress response, your body is going to divert all your energy away from things like your immune system, like healing a lesion on your skin, healing some acne, or fighting off a cold or a flu. Um, so even and your digestion as well is a big one there that um energy gets taken away from in order to go into that fightorflight response. So if a tiger is chasing you, you don't need your immune system to be working. You just need to survive. So it absolutely impacts everything. Um your digestive system is a big one. Like a lot of people notice that you get the butterflies in your tummy when you're nervous and you're feeling stressed. You might get um changes to your digestive function. You might get a bit of bloating, heartburn, reflux. You might get constipation or diarrhea. can affect your your digestive system really deeply.

[00:29:21]Um, hormonally for women in particular, stress is really huge for our female hormones. So, we've got two main female hormones. There's estrogen and progesterone and they eb and flow throughout our cycles in synergy.

[00:29:40]In a stressed state, we are unable to make as much progesterone.

[00:29:46]Now, progesterone helps to keep us feeling relaxed and happy and calm.

[00:29:53]So, it's a bit of a cycle that if we're stressed and then that impacts the production of this hormone progesterone, we're already stressed and then we're going to feel less calm, happy, and relaxed if we don't have as much of that really important hormone. So, that can look like having more heavy and painful periods, more PMS and mood changes. It can be irregular periods. So, it can really affect women's hormones.

[00:30:26]Um, hair fall and weak nails. So, again, if we're in that heightened state, your body doesn't care about your nails and your hair growing, it's going to put all its resources into you running away from the tiger.

[00:30:40]Definitely low energy and poor immunity.

[00:30:44]So, if you're getting sick all the time, you're picking up all the bugs or you're not recovering from those illnesses quickly.

[00:30:53]Um, it can affect our appetite as well.

[00:30:55]So, if we're not eating enough, we're not getting enough nutrition and nutrients like B vitamins and magnesium are essential to calm our nervous system. So, if we're not getting enough of those things, we can be more affected by stress. And I don't know about uh there's probably many women here who would resonate with this that when you're really stressed, you might not even have time to eat. So, lunch goes out the window, you forget about breakfast, you're just too busy, and that is something that doesn't get prioritized sometimes.

[00:31:33]And um inflammation would be a big one, too. So inflammation can look like any kind of inflammation in your body. So think joint pain, headaches, period pain, inflammatory skin conditions like acne and eczema.

[00:31:53]And then like I mentioned before, um hitting that point of burnout where there is just no motivation. Your energy is on the floor and you've got a really low mood and none of us want to get to that point. Um so yeah, that can be that buildup over time. If we start listening to those little things that start to change and start to correct them, we can prevent getting to that really nasty point of burnout.

[00:32:25]I have to say I'm with Rana in the comments. Uh when you're talking about like gosh, ladies, if you are stressed, one of the things you might do is completely skip meals because you're too busy and you're focused on other things.

[00:32:39]I'm with Rana. I comfort eat. I stress eat. So this is I think equally as bad because often the things that you choose to eat when you are feeling sorry for yourself or you are maybe you're too stressed even to like >> make a really good nutritious meal and you just think I'm going to get takeaway just because >> I can't deal with having to cook dinner as well as all of this other stuff. And I think you know >> absolutely it's this balance isn't there.

[00:33:11]>> It can go either way.

[00:33:13]>> Yeah. For sure. For sure. Yeah.

[00:33:16]Definitely. That is um very true for a lot of people is that we try to self soothe with certain things that we know aren't good for us, but when we're stressed, we're just looking for that thing that's going to make us feel better in that moment. And that's completely normal.

[00:33:32]So, I think this part of our conversation today is going to be the most um interesting and impactful for everyone who is watching because you've got a few strategies to help us manage stress. Like we we obviously all experience stress and we have different reactions to stress. Our bodies react in different ways. Um, but let's really talk about Brooke how we can manage this stress accepting that it's here. But what are the things that we can do to manage, regulate, control stress in our lives?

[00:34:12]>> I have lots of fun things to share with you. Can I take one minute to do a little audience participation before we dive in >> and do a little breath test with everybody? So, I'm going to set my timer for 60 seconds. And in that 60 seconds, I want you to count how many breaths you're taking just in your mind to yourself.

[00:34:37]So, in and out is counted as one breath.

[00:34:41]And then you're going to share in the chat box how many breaths you got when I tell you the time's up.

[00:34:48]>> Okay. All right. Counting.

[00:34:51]>> I am just about to set my timer. So, one in and out is counted as one breath, counting in your mind as you go. Just breathing normally. And then you'll share with me how many you got starting from now.

[00:36:07]All right, time's up. How did everyone go?

[00:36:13]>> O, wow.

[00:36:17]Biata had 40. I had 26.

[00:36:22]There's quite a few.

[00:36:23]>> A lot of variation >> with 12. Anora said two. I wonder if that's a typo or if she has a very deep breath.

[00:36:33]>> That would be impressive. She'd make a good diver.

[00:36:37]>> Maha says nine.

[00:36:39]>> Okay. Okay. Wow. Lots of variation.

[00:36:42]>> Six. Fran says six.

[00:36:45]>> Okay. So, the goal is six to 10 breaths every minute. So if you're up at 20 plus, you are breathing very fast and very shallow. So this is something that would really help for you to work on getting into that rest and digest mode is deepening your breath.

[00:37:10]So this is a test you can do on yourself anytime just to check in with where you're at. And obviously different situations are going to make you feel a little bit more anxious than you normally would. So maybe take some time when you're just relaxed at home. So a really good one that you can practice is laying flat on the ground and place something quite heavy on your belly like a book.

[00:37:37]And you're going to take some deep breaths to the point where you see that book elevate on your belly. So you see it rise and fall with your breath.

[00:37:46]That's when you know you're really breathing deeply into your belly.

[00:37:50][snorts] And once you've got that, you're feeling that, then that's what you want to practice as your deep belly breathing. So this can be something you can do in the car, at the traffic lights, at your desk, at work. No one needs to know you're doing it. You can do it anytime, any place. 10 deep belly breaths. It's a really great way to get you into a calm and regulated state. So that would be one thing. That would be the first thing I would say. Connect to your breath. I mentioned earlier your morning routine. What you do to start your day really sets the tone for how your nervous system responds and reacts to stress over the course of the day.

[00:38:31]And Em, you shared the perfect example of how you just felt really good and really clear and really ready to take on the day when you started your day in that ideal way.

[00:38:42]And there's a reason for that because when we are starting on a calm note in the the start of the day and we're not over stimulating ourselves with going straight into our phone or listening to content or taking on information and we're taking it slowly. We're getting outdoors. Getting outside for sunlight is a really great way to get your cortisol regulated. So, first thing in the morning, if you can view that natural light, that is really, really helpful.

[00:39:20]And then bringing something in. I'm going to give you some ideas here, but choosing something that resonates for you consistently. It could just be one thing that grounds you, makes you feel calm, connected to yourself, and ready to take on the day. It could be practicing gratitude. It could be mindfulness where you're just listening to the birds, feeling the breeze on your skin.

[00:39:49]The art of noticing. So, this is where you are like when you're a tourist. When you're in a different city, you're noticing the buildings. You're stopping and looking at things that you wouldn't necessarily notice on the walk you take every single day in your same neighborhood.

[00:40:10]So, it's stopping and being present and noticing a little bug on a leaf.

[00:40:14]Stopping and literally smelling a rose.

[00:40:18]So, being really present is um the art of noticing.

[00:40:24]So trying to choose one thing that helps you to ground um is really helping to prevent elevated levels of stress. So you set the tone first thing in the morning. If you start the day rushed and stressed and worried and there's an alarm going off and you've slept in and then you're dealing with traffic, remember that balloon and remember the coffee you're spilling on your white shirt at the end of the day.

[00:40:55]that is going to feel very different if you start the day on that calm note.

[00:41:02]So your morning routine is a big one.

[00:41:04]You can make a big difference there.

[00:41:08]Something I feel like for people who rush through everything. So brushing their teeth, having a shower, walking the dog, everything's just like get it done, get it done, tick the box, tick the box. Something that can be very useful here is something I like to call an elderly dog walk. So, it is literally pretending you're an elderly dog. You know, when they're getting quite old and they're slow and every corner they're sniffing, they're they're sniffing the tree, they're taking their time, they're taking it all in. You can do that, too, without a podcast, without music, literally slowing down.

[00:41:48]and take that into the way you eat, the way you brush your teeth, the way you shower. Make everything intentional and a ritual for yourself, not just a thing to tick off the list. So, it can be easy to kind of just when the days are busy and there's lots of tasks to forget that.

[00:42:10]And like I mentioned with the art of noticing and you know being a tourist in your own town. Um looking up getting that sense of wonderment and awe that is um a really special thing that you can do as well.

[00:42:28]Now boundaries and outsourcing is something I think can be really really helpful if you're feeling overwhelmed. There's too much going on.

[00:42:39]I love to recommend writing lists. So, if you feel like, "Oh my god, there's always so so much to do. I don't know where to start." Write a list of things that absolutely must get done today, life or death. And then a list of things that doesn't matter if they get done today. That could be like, you know, it would be nice to have a clean house, but it doesn't matter if I don't get round to cleaning the house today. So try and make a list of priorities that can really help you to go, oh okay, that is not that important. That can be a tomorrow task or a next week task. And where can I say no to some things or where can I outsource? So can I ask for help? Can I get someone to to do a a job for me?

[00:43:28]Um I mentioned before having white space in your calendar. So actually blocking that out so you're forced to do nothing and try to become more comfortable with that rest. Um it can be very uncomfortable and elicit thoughts of shame and guilt for a lot of people.

[00:43:53]Um but the more you do it the more that will feel uh normal and you'll feel the benefits from it.

[00:44:00]I have to say time off screens. I know this is very tricky for all of us. Um but if we can try and be a bit more intentional with our screen time, we are bombarded with so much over stimulation um with all the access to information and entertainment and all the things that our phone gives us access to. So using your app limits, your screen time settings on your phone and trying to be a bit more intentional with your use can be really really helpful.

[00:44:36]Um it's really important that we try and do things that bring us joy and that are fun just for the hell of it. Like we don't we don't need to be always just ticking the boxes. So bringing in things that make you feel joy and have fun. It could be live music, going out dancing, exercise, getting in nature, having a club or a team or a community like a lady. I'm sure that is a big one for a lot of you. [gasps] And being a naturopath, I cannot not talk about food and nutrition.

[00:45:20]Fueling your body is so important for managing stress as well. So, if we're not eating enough or we're deficient in certain nutrients, if we're low energy, our capacity is going to be a lot lower as well. So, um that's an important one. trying to eat a nutritious balanced um diet and then the last things I will mention um magnesium, omega-3s, um so getting more salmon and mackerel, tofu, tempeh, nuts and seeds, leafy green veggies.

[00:46:02]These are all great sources of both magnesium which is very calming on your nervous system and omega-3s which are anti-inflammatory and fantastic for brain health. Anyone who is familiar with um Ayurvedic medicine um maybe we have someone in India you may have heard of ashwagandha is quite a commonly used herb but that is also something that I would use quite frequently if um you just need that sort of help with that nervous system regulation and and feeling more calm. [snorts] So that's a really great herb that you can use as well. Oh, Maha is saying, "Yes, Ashwagandha is magic." Um, >> I've got a few questions that have been coming in. Um, and I think >> we've got a few minutes left now to uh to just talk about a couple of extra things.

[00:47:02]One of those was about bloating. Kubra said, "When I get stressed too much, I feel bloated like a puffer fish."

[00:47:13]>> It takes a lot of time for her to recover, and >> then she stresses about how she looks, which keeps her in this loop of feeling stressed. And Elenia also said, you know, she has often has a bloated stomach. How do you soothe this symptom?

[00:47:33]Um, so a couple of questions about that.

[00:47:35]Yeah, really great question because it's very connected to stress. So, if you're feeling like um that stress affects your digestive system, it could be uh stopping you from producing enough stomach acid and enzymes to break down your food really well. So, that is again being in that fight flight. Your body's not prioritizing digestion.

[00:48:01]though we can become low in those essential things that help us break down our food. And the result of that can be feeling really bloated. So I would say the first thing would be slow down, chew your food and practice mindful eating.

[00:48:18]So you're not multitasking, running out the door, eating in the car. You're actually sitting down to your meal and you're taking your time.

[00:48:28]And the second thing I would say is that your if you are feeling heightened before you eat your meal, do the 10 deep belly breaths to get yourself feeling calm first and then have your meal. So if you're trying to eat in that stressed state, that's when it can start affecting your digestion.

[00:48:49]>> That is super interesting. So actually like you know Rana and I were talking about stress eating before but actually that is not helping the situation at all. We need to focus on reducing that stress level before we eat. And as you say >> take your time as you're eating. And for those of you that use chopsticks on a daily basis to eat, one of my mentors in Australia suggested to eat your meals with chopsticks to slow you down. So that's another interesting strategy you can take on.

[00:49:27]>> Love that. Love that. Eat spaghetti with chopsticks. [laughter] Um, you talked a little bit before about how important getting access to sunlight is when and you know for your cortisol levels and uh for your stress levels generally. Bata has a really great question that is relevant to so many of the ladies here especially those who are joining from Europe. They're just coming out of the winter season >> the long days.

[00:49:59]>> Yes. So, what should you do when you wake up and it's dark? you don't have that natural light >> is Bata's asking like is it helpful to like look out the window even though it's dark or what can you do instead when you don't have access and I guess this is true for anyone who >> who works shifts as well and doesn't have that >> absolutely >> I work with lots of people who are shift workers or they're on the other side of the country and they are experiencing this um and even for us Like you know in Australia we get those shifts seasonally. So what should happen in the morning in response to full spectrum sunlight?

[00:50:45]Our cortisol should reach its peak for the day first thing in the morning when you view sunlight.

[00:50:53]So if you don't have access to sunlight when you first wake up, turn all the lights on in the house. So, it's not the same as sunlight, but it's still going to be beneficial.

[00:51:04]And then what you can do to activate what we call the cortisol awakening response, which is how well that elevates first thing in the morning, is jumping up and down on the spot or skipping rope or jumping on a rebounder or a trampoline.

[00:51:23]Um, something I invested in recently which I'm loving is a vibration plate.

[00:51:28]And I think that I'm going to really enjoy in winter even more because that will be part of my morning routine when it's still dark outside. So, you can get that same um cortisol elevation happening at the right end of the day by jumping and bouncing.

[00:51:47]And then once the sun does come up, get outside as much as you can. So in those darker months, if you can get outdoors more, um then you're going to be helping to regulate that cortisol through the day.

[00:52:01]Vibration plate that you talked about, does that um so jumping and skipping is about >> getting your blood moving. Um switching everything on. Is the vibration plate >> a similar the outcome similar? It is similar, but it also has other really great benefits for your lymphatic system and and other things. So, um that is a good I actually end up doing both. So, I do my jumping, I get outside, get my sunlight, I do my jumping, and then I get on the vibration plate because I like to do all the things, [laughter] everything you can. Magda has a couple of questions about cortisol. Um, she's asking is it is that recommended for those who have a high cortisol level? Like should you be doing that or should you be trying to sort of >> reduce those? And I'll just go back to a question that she had a little while back. She also said, "I'd love to hear more about cortisol belly and how to naturally balance that hormone."

[00:53:11]>> Yes. Okay. So absolutely everything we've talked about today relates to cortisol regulation. So if your cortisol is high in a blood test, [clears throat] it's staying you're staying in that heightened stress response. So where we want our cortisol to be, it follows a pattern over the day where it's highest when we wake up in the morning and then it gradually slows down and comes down nice and low in the evening so we can sleep. And that's where our other hormone melatonin starts to rise which helps us to go to sleep. So they work on a seessaw. So when cortisol is staying up high, we still want to get that nice elevation in the morning because that gives you energy and motivation um to do all the things during the day.

[00:54:04]And then you want to be working on all of the things we talked through today to help get that cortisol back to baseline as much as possible. So you still want to have that elevation. So encouraging that first thing in the morning is great. and then doing all your other practices and tools through the day to calm it down. And especially at night, having an evening routine to get that cortisol down where you're dimming the lights, you've got uh not so much stimulation going on, you're limiting your screen time. All of those things can be very helpful at nighttime. Tanuja was asking how can I find out the stress level that if I have a stress level that is you know high enough to need professional help and this question was actually before we did that little exercise of breathing and uh counting our breaths and I guess that's like a really simple accessible way to kind of >> over the course of a few days or at different times of day to try to understand that. But is there is there any one symptom or level at which you know it triggers the need for professional help or what would Tanuja need to look out for?

[00:55:23]>> Yeah, I think with all of the um indicators of stress we talked through, so how it feels in your body and those symptoms that relate to high levels of stress, that's a really good starting point. And then you can use that breath test anytime just to check in with yourself and assess where you're at. And when you start bringing in those breathing tools and working on that, you can test again and see how you feel and what your breaths per minute are. But there are there are tests that you can run. They're not all super reliable because our stress levels fluctuate through the day. So the most reliable test would actually be something called a Dutch test. So that's a dried urine test for comprehensive hormones and that tests four points throughout the day. So we can see the pattern of cortisol and what that's doing. So if you did get to the point of wanting to go a bit deeper with testing, that would be the most accurate way to make sure we're getting that pattern over the day.

[00:56:26]>> And that's something that that you do with your clients regularly, isn't it?

[00:56:30]that you uh help them to get the right testing in order to really um not speak in such generalizations but actually really understand what is happening within you and then therefore what the response needs to be because I think lots of the things that we've talked about are super general and all generally good but in having those insights about what is actually happening within you you're much better able to hit the things that you really need to focus on.

[00:57:04]>> Yeah.

[00:57:04]>> Yeah. Exactly. We're all so different and we all need different interventions and support. So, testing is a really great way to know exactly what your body needs.

[00:57:17]>> Amazing. Brooke, there's a few questions that we didn't quite get to, uh, which maybe I will hit you up for afterwards.

[00:57:25]There's been lots and lots of great comments coming in. Maha was asking how do I follow you on Hey Lady or in fact I will share Brooke's Instagram which is probably the best place for you to connect with her and follow. She shares lots of really interesting helpful pieces of advice that are applicable to your daily life. And so I'm always skimming through and picking up little tidbits about recipe ideas or, you know, supplements or different types of food that are really helpful and in and insightful tips that I can apply generally. So I've shared the link in the chat box here. I'll also share it uh inside hey lady as well. Um you are all very welcome. lots of thank yous and really enjoyed the conversation today, Brooke. So, please tell us that at some point you will come back to continue the conversation. [laughter] We really, really enjoyed it.

[00:58:35]>> Thank you so much for having me. It's been really nice connecting with everybody and love. Reach out to me on Instagram if you have any questions. I'd love to connect over there.

[00:58:46]>> Amazing. Thank you, Brooke. Very excited that you joined us here in Hey Lady.

[00:58:51]We'll see you soon.

[00:58:53]>> Thanks. Bye.