MSSP PAYTCH: Reasons Leading to the First Crusade - Pope Urban II. ⚔️

Added: 2026-05-10

[00:00:00]her.

[00:00:01]>> But we're going to edit that.

[00:00:02]>> Yeah.

[00:00:02]>> Yeah, it's perfect, >> dude. And now, >> well, that's I'm I'm happy we did that.

[00:00:07]It takes the pressure off jumping right into some dense talk about the Crusades.

[00:00:11]>> But so here's we'll take it all the way back to the first crusade, dude. Before it started, November 1095, dude.

[00:00:17]>> Barely a thousand years after Christ.

[00:00:20]>> Yeah.

[00:00:20]>> Church is a thousand years old. It's almost 1100 years old. Pope Urban gives a speech about the Christian world being threatened by Muslim nations. And at the time, the pope himself, it was a job that like people didn't take the pope seriously. The pope was slipping. The pope would like come up and be doing pretty well and be pretty important, I guess. And the pope took a dip and it was more like the nations were like, "We're running shit."

[00:00:42]>> Yeah.

[00:00:43]>> So, some argue the pope was kind of incentivized.

[00:00:49]Some argue the pope was incentivized to kind of start a war to become more important. That's how some historians take it. So he's going around being like he just gathers a bunch of people and he was like dudes I don't know if you know this but when we go to pilgrim this is all in France he was like when we go to make pilgrimage to the holy lands the Muslims are checking us for tax and if you don't pay they're taking they're making some of us take shits so they make you [ __ ] squat drop pie.

[00:01:17]>> Yes.

[00:01:17]>> Or they were saying in other cases they cut people open and extract gold from them and everyone just went >> those idiots back then.

[00:01:25]chocolate.

[00:01:26]>> Yeah. They all they all went >> all got he was he did this speech to he was like um he was from a monastery. So he gave he gave a speech to other monks and then the monks were all like we can't believe this. And basically word got out but basically he was saying >> dude we're under we are they f they're they're controlling the holy lands.

[00:01:46]They're fight they're fighting us on the southern border here and there. the Moors and they're like, "We need to do something."

[00:01:52]>> The Moors were they were making noise >> and they the author they did say that they said the Moors had attacks on France, >> the reconquest.

[00:02:00]>> Yep. And they were so they were kind of like it wasn't totally wrong. And you know, there probably were Muslim tax collectors who like gutted people for not taking dumps. So he told him, he goes, "Look, >> I'd have no problem."

[00:02:12]>> You want me to take three?

[00:02:13]>> True.

[00:02:14]>> Taking fiber gummies [ __ ] out all gold. Ah, son of a [ __ ] >> You got me.

[00:02:21]>> There's a pure gold nugget turn. You're like, I don't know what the [ __ ] I was eating.

[00:02:25]>> Crazy.

[00:02:26]>> It's a miracle.

[00:02:27]>> How the [ __ ] did that get in there?

[00:02:28]>> It's a holy miracle, dude.

[00:02:30]>> You guys can have that, >> dude. [ __ ] out all your gold.

[00:02:33][ __ ] out all your gold.

[00:02:34]>> [ __ ] out suck. You hear the coins hit the ground while you're [ __ ] >> Oh no. These guys are going to be pissed.

[00:02:42]>> These guys are going to cut my [ __ ] hands off.

[00:02:44]>> They're going to cut my wife's belly open. Oh, >> imagine your wife getting gutted by a Muslim man.

[00:02:50]>> Your wife getting gutted. That's the worst part of, you know, history is being in love.

[00:02:55]>> Yeah, >> cuz your wife is going to get her head cut off and raped in front of you.

[00:03:00]>> Yeah. I mean, >> that's history.

[00:03:01]>> There was a huge chance she died in childbirth.

[00:03:04]>> That was >> Which is probably pretty tight, >> dude. The average bro had like >> Good part's done, >> dude. The average bro had like three wives. You would just you would just like the average back then you were just cream pie and you would only cream pie and then it was like your wife would die in childbirth and they'd be like we got to get you another wife cuz you needed a wife. You couldn't not have like it just was like integral to running your farm or whatever you're doing. So like yo we're getting you another wife and you just get another wife >> and just be like well resume cream pie.

[00:03:33]But I'm sure I mean, you know, I'm sure it was a little more emotional than that. But it is kind of crazy when you hear about the bros just [ __ ] constantly like they were leasing wives and they were just like a kid would explode your wife and you'd get a kid and then be like, "Damn, time for a new babe."

[00:03:48]>> Damn. The first one was the frogs, dude.

[00:03:51]>> What? The first Yeah, it was all the frogs.

[00:03:53]>> It's all the froggy boys.

[00:03:54]>> So basically Pope Urban like he he set up this big thing. We're under attack by the Muslims. They're And there's a direct affront to Christianity. He was like, "So, >> all just go down there and make pilgrimage."

[00:04:07]>> Yeah.

[00:04:09]>> And if guys go to check stuff, just [ __ ] you know, if you [ __ ] them up, if you [ __ ] him up, you [ __ ] him up. We got to go down there and just basically let them know we're not going to stand by this. And like, we should probably control the Holy Land, too.

[00:04:18]>> We should control. That's all he's like.

[00:04:20]I'm just saying. Yeah.

[00:04:21]>> He JS just the Crusades. He was like, I mean, it's [ __ ] up. we should just and he he told people if you go down there you basically your sins are all forgiven but the caveat was only sins you had confessed to a priest counted cuz some people were like can I just roll down there and he said no but then you would have like so the word started to spread and then you had guys like I think Peter the hermit started like going and making up versions of that they were like yo no matter what you go down there >> if you go down there and [ __ ] people up and die you go to heaven >> Peter the hermit was the one who got the pores Yes.

[00:04:55]>> He was the one going around tricking the pores.

[00:04:56]>> Yeah. And this is So that was November 1095. By December 1095, that was the guy Peter the Hermit.

[00:05:02]>> [ __ ] hermit.

[00:05:03]>> Yeah, dude. He That was a guy who was famous for he lived on wine and fish only and was like notoriously busted.

[00:05:10]The quote is utterly repellent looks.

[00:05:12]That's what he was known for.

[00:05:14]>> For having stanky breath and being utterly repellent. Yeah.

[00:05:17]>> Through history.

[00:05:19]>> But a nasty orator. So >> fish and wine. Fish and wine, dude.

[00:05:24]>> Jesus Christ.

[00:05:25]>> Fish and wine screaming at notably ugly in 1096.

[00:05:29]>> Yeah, dude.

[00:05:30]>> Holy [ __ ] >> 1095.

[00:05:32]>> You must have been horrendous, >> dude. And then so be but between December 1095, May 1096, Peter the Hermit amassed 15,000 people. So he got that. He had the army of poor.

[00:05:43]>> He had followers.

[00:05:44]>> Yeah. So he got the army of poors and he was like, this was the people's crusade they called it.

[00:05:49]>> Yes. So he just got a bunch of poor people from France and Germany and they these were the guys that like he just sent them down straight into Arabia and they got butchered like instantly died.

[00:06:02]>> Yeah.

[00:06:03]>> So >> So he sent 15,000 poor Europeans.

[00:06:09]>> Yes.

[00:06:09]>> Just peasants.

[00:06:10]>> French. He got the French and Germans.

[00:06:12]>> He just got peasants.

[00:06:13]>> These were the guys who >> the [ __ ] was he getting out of this >> glory? these guys. There was >> He probably felt pretty good giving the speeches and then on the boat over he was probably starting to be like >> Yeah, we'll see later. He actually was a bit of a yellow belly.

[00:06:26]>> I hope these Seljuks aren't as tough as I've heard.

[00:06:29]>> Me and my guys are not prepared.

[00:06:31]>> He was a bit of a yellow belly as we see later.

[00:06:34]>> They also used to hit him with like the [ __ ] Don't worry, dude. We don't even need armor. God.

[00:06:38]>> Oh yeah. The pores went down there and they got it.

[00:06:42]>> They got rocked.

[00:06:43]>> Yes. That's And that's where crusades come from. It's uh it's actually it was it was not called the crusades at first.

[00:06:48]It was just called the ite the journey.

[00:06:50]He's like make the journey but then eventually it became like crusades and crusad like way of the cross. Um so yeah so these guys go down to can Constantinople and they also on the way down there when they're coming through Rhineland they broke off to kill the Jews.

[00:07:06]>> Some of the German some of the German crusaders just [ __ ] went >> they just went deathcon on the way down.

[00:07:13]They just stopped, killed a bunch of Jews.

[00:07:15]>> They were tired.

[00:07:16]>> They were tired. They were sleepy.

[00:07:18]>> They got sleepy. Very sleepy.

[00:07:19]>> I'll tell you what, guys. In the morning, >> they accidentally They hadn't had their coffee yet, so they went down and they killed the Jews. Just stopped by. They were crusading. They were They were warming up.

[00:07:28]>> They're warming up. They're like, "Yeah, you guys are Don't you guys [ __ ] aren't from They're from around there, aren't you guys?" And they [ __ ] gave them what for.

[00:07:35]>> It's just Yeah, >> they nookie the Jews on the way down.

[00:07:37]And then >> it is it explains why the the Jews are very like hey let's tone down the rhetoric >> dude and >> cuz literally every time out of nowhere one of you guys decides to get us dude.

[00:07:48]>> Dude I was I was talking about this yesterday. It's like to be fair people like there's been like tons of bad things that happen to a lot of groups of people but like they try to eradicate the entire race. That'll get you that get the hair standing up on the back of your neck.

[00:08:01]>> Yeah. knowing that like that's an idea floating around like they're you know I don't white guys we're evil blah blah almost sound what do white what do people say about white guys that we like control the world unfairly or whatever >> yeah we don't deserve to be the best >> no one wants to kill us >> we don't deserve to be the best >> yeah that's all we want >> we just happen to we we locked into being number one >> yes >> but yeah go ahead read about history and what we did >> what it took what it took so yeah that was unfortunate so then so the the people's crusade led by Peter the hermit tried to cross into Constantinople and they didn't get anywhere near and just got all of them got butchered. Peter the hermit the yellow belly survived and ran back and you pretty much use that to start summoning more people. So during that whole period uh there was real knights and soldiers like upper crust of society being like yo we're going to go down there. People wanted glory back then really badly. So there's a bunch of like nobleborn people and like the the top cream of the you know upper crust of French society who are like we're going to go down there and do the damn thing.

[00:09:06]So by then they had about 60 to 100,000 people in France.

[00:09:11]>> But they did condemn the attack on the the Jews.

[00:09:14]>> Sorry to circle back. I was reading a good >> I I never had heard about the Rhineland massacres.

[00:09:19]>> Yep. How many how many did they get?

[00:09:21]What was what were the numbers?

[00:09:22]>> 2,000 estimated 2,000 Jews.

[00:09:24]>> Really? That seems high.

[00:09:30]>> Now, I've never heard of this, but that seems high.

[00:09:32]>> Do we have any uh photograph photographic evidence?

[00:09:34]>> This is like one drawing and there's only like six guys in the drawing.

[00:09:39]So, I'm going to go ahead. This is the first time I'm hearing about it. I'm going to call [ __ ] I've done a little bit of research. Nah, I don't think so.

[00:09:50]>> That doesn't sound like something we would do.

[00:09:54]So yeah, so they get the upper crust, the real knights and soldiers. They get 60 to 100k people. Basically 7,000 to 10,000 were fully mounted knights on the minute on the ponies.

[00:10:04]>> The 10. Yep. On tiny horses.

[00:10:06]>> 35k to 50k were infantry and the remaining bunch were just women and children.

[00:10:12]>> WC.

[00:10:13]>> You're going to have to bring the women and children.

[00:10:14]>> The rest were just for fun.

[00:10:16]>> If I was going on crusade, I would you know who I would want nagging the entire trip. I'd like wife and kids.

[00:10:22]>> You needed them. Also though, to be fair, if you >> if you left them, they were dead.

[00:10:26]>> They were dying. Yeah. Yeah. You had to bring them into battle. And you know, the knight gets lonely, dude. Knight gets lonely.

[00:10:33]>> Yeah. You're gonna want some kids.

[00:10:34]>> So the these dudes would like it was this is still like, you know, feudal time. So like you would be like living on a thief and then Knight would be like, "Yo, I'm crusading. That means if I ride, we all ride."

[00:10:45]>> Yeah. We're all going.

[00:10:46]>> So they all had like a posi that had to go to the Crusades with them every single time.

[00:10:52]guy opening your wooden hut door havl being like get up.

[00:10:56]>> I hope today's not too hard. He's like what are we doing? We're walking to the holy house.

[00:11:00]>> We're going to have to walk to like where's that? I don't know.

[00:11:03]>> I have no clue.

[00:11:04]>> There's no maps >> for what? Like they were uh making people [ __ ] on the border of some [ __ ] I don't know, man. Come on. Stop [ __ ] asking questions.

[00:11:11]>> Yeah. Put down the mud you're eating.

[00:11:14]>> Get up.

[00:11:15]>> Yeah. And the knights, they wore a thick chain mail armor. That was a big thing here. Like >> perfect for the desert, >> dude. The Seljuk Turks were light armor, moving quickly. Yeah.

[00:11:24]>> These knights were built for just like slow.

[00:11:26]>> Yeah.

[00:11:27]>> Just thick, heavy warfare. So, they big metal helmets, big metal shields, >> uh, double-sided long swords about 2 feet. Yeah. These swords about 2 feet.

[00:11:36]Which, by the way, they weren't really sharp. The long swords, the long swords are more of a bludgeoning tool.

[00:11:41]>> Yeah.

[00:11:42]>> So, I didn't know that they would, you would just crack you with this [ __ ] thing and they could probably stab you with the front of it.

[00:11:47]>> Um, then they had, you know, swords, long bows, all that stuff. rudimentary crossbows back then too.

[00:11:51]>> Long bows are pretty tight.

[00:11:52]>> They're nasty.

[00:11:53]>> I 300 yards on the British long bows.

[00:11:56]>> 300 yards. Those things are going back in 1095.

[00:11:58]>> The British are very proud of the long bows.

[00:12:01]>> Did they start them?

[00:12:02]>> Which is the gay? Of course the British are the long bows.

[00:12:05]>> We stand back here and we fire upon you, >> dude. 300 yards.

[00:12:09]>> You'll listen to us now. God damn it.

[00:12:12]These, >> you know, I I always made I always thought that those like leather caps they all used to wear about as gay as it gets.

[00:12:19]>> Yeah. I liked a lot of the cool outfits, but the little leather. You ever see a long bowman >> when they they do they wear like motorcycle like old motorcycle?

[00:12:26]>> Long bowman look like sissies, dude.

[00:12:28]>> What are they What are they rocking? Let me see. Now I'm curious. I'm imagining like the like a like a leather skull cap with like a belt buckle hanging down.

[00:12:37]>> Ones look pretty sick.

[00:12:38]>> Let me see this.

[00:12:39]>> But no, they're Robin Hood types.

[00:12:42]>> Uh >> like tights.

[00:12:43]>> Oh yeah. It's kind of sick though. I mean, you're just throwing in Robin Hood in there, so I'm being like, "Yeah, that guy kind of ruled."

[00:12:50]>> Actually, I I'm starting to like these.

[00:12:51]>> So, these dude, they would show up in [ __ ] yoga pants and just launch bows and arrows at you.

[00:12:55]>> They get lude. Dude, >> yeah.

[00:12:58]>> How [ __ ] funny was that?

[00:13:00]>> These hats, they like the guy in the yellow that [ __ ] >> Yeah, that's like those dudes.

[00:13:07]>> They wore like knapsacks on their heads and just launched bows and arrows.

[00:13:11]>> But crusade and you toss a cross on any uniform, I'm like, dude, that's sick.

[00:13:15]>> Yeah. I mean, dude, to be fair, that is pretty nice to be like a prairie mother and just be firing bows and arrows 300 feet, >> just crushing tough dudes >> just over the walls of a village just causing an absol That was the funny thing you'll see in the warfare back then. It was like you just sat outside somebody's village or like city really and just bothered them.

[00:13:34]>> Yeah.

[00:13:35]>> Try to start Yeah. Yeah. Warfare diseased animals over >> like this stinks like [ __ ] Throw it over there.

[00:13:42]So, >> what about Lululemon?

[00:13:45]>> Oh, dude, how funny was that?

[00:13:47]>> That was one of the funniest.

[00:13:48]>> We talked to the We were This is We're jumping to the present day timeline.

[00:13:50]Present day. T present day.

[00:13:52]>> We were walk me and Shane were walking.

[00:13:53]The bro came up. We're chatting. It was pretty sick. And then we were walking past Lululemon. In my head, I was thinking like, how funny would be if this dude thought we were going into Lululemon right now.

[00:14:03]>> Didn't say it. And the guy was like, "All right." Later ducks off and he's going to Lululemon. And Shane goes, >> "Do they even sell?" Totally serious, by the way. You're like, "Do they sell guy clothes in there?" And he stops and goes, "You knew that, dude. You [ __ ] knew that cuz he was going in there to buy guy clothes."

[00:14:17]>> He was very nervous. Just, "You knew that, dude."

[00:14:20]>> Made me laugh, dude. I'd be so made feel bad. I wasn't trying to make fun of him.

[00:14:24]>> No, but it was so funny. You're like, "Holy [ __ ] they saw guy clothes in there." And he goes, "Did you [ __ ] knew that, dude?

[00:14:28]>> You knew that, dude. You busting my chops. Come on, man.

[00:14:32]>> Don't make fun of me."

[00:14:33]>> Oh, man. It was making me laugh. So, >> sorry. I am paying attention. I'm just looking I'm looking things up.

[00:14:37]>> No, keep researching, dude. So none of So here's the thing with the first crusade. None of the European kings entered the first crusade. So the forces were all kind of split and unorganized.

[00:14:48]So there was all these factions of knights where you'd have like these high high upper crust like nightly cast like Lannister type guys who were like vying for total all there was like five or six guys who thought that they should have been like crowned the like >> you know reigning supreme over the entire first crusade. Yeah. But there was no real process for it other than like enough people thinking you were sick and like declaring the fact that you were >> So we're talking Raymond of Tus.

[00:15:17]>> Yep. Yep.

[00:15:18]>> Too.

[00:15:19]>> Yep.

[00:15:20]>> Adamar of Lee.

[00:15:22]>> Bull.

[00:15:23]>> Godfrey of Buon.

[00:15:24]>> Yes, dude.

[00:15:25]>> Baldwin of Bologn.

[00:15:26]>> Yep.

[00:15:27]>> Hugh of Vermande.

[00:15:30]Steven of Bliss.

[00:15:31]>> Steven rules, dude.

[00:15:32]>> Steven of Bliss.

[00:15:33]>> That was uh Robera's brother-in-law.

[00:15:35]Steven. Robert of Flanders, Robert Curtis, >> dude. So, here >> he's a hermit.

[00:15:41]>> So, here So, yeah. So, here's the uh Well, here's another thing, too. People don't realize because a lot of people say these guys were opportunistic. Like, they were just going there just for their own themselves >> to loot.

[00:15:52]>> Here's the thing, dude.

[00:15:53]>> For booty.

[00:15:53]>> So, yeah, there was definitely guy there was dudes who were seeking military glory and had their sights set on basically like >> setting up like new towns and cities.

[00:16:01]They would be kings b they could never be a king really, but they could be the king of like some other place. Uh but there a lot there was other guys too.

[00:16:06]They have like records of people selling like all of their property. They had like night type dudes who would sell their entire family fortune to go over there.

[00:16:15]>> Yeah.

[00:16:15]>> So it wasn't just people like >> Yeah. There were dudes that bought in.

[00:16:19]>> There was and there was a lot of them that do it. And there was also the the fact that like if you didn't go you looked like a [ __ ] [ __ ] >> So like if everyone else went if you're like all nights and it was like where you're why aren't we going? It's like >> when everyone goes how do you not just take everyone's [ __ ] like, "All right, we're going to my army's going to stay and then we're going to take everything."

[00:16:37]>> But then it would be like, "Dude, you it would be it'd be a crime against your own country." And like you would It's like the whole honor thing. They'd be like, "So you coward backstabber."

[00:16:46]>> So they would get back and like they would burn your whole family alive.

[00:16:49]>> Oh yeah. There's always the threat of that.

[00:16:51]>> Yeah. While you they were out avenging >> That was a good deterrent, >> dude. While they were out avenging God.

[00:16:57]>> Yeah.

[00:16:57]>> You stole all their [ __ ] And then they you're getting you're getting tired and feathered. your family's getting raped and killed like >> Yeah. So, here's here's the main characters according to this book, the main characters of the first crusade with a little something about him. Count Ray Moore of Tulu. He was a 50-year-old war veteran from southern France who had experienced fighting the Moors in the southern front. He was also rumored to have his eye ripped out by his face by a Muslim on the border of a holy city on pilgrimage.

[00:17:23]>> That'll [ __ ] piss you off.

[00:17:24]>> Yep. And he said he kept it all the way back as a reminder to show people being like, "Fuck those guys." So, he was pissed off. So that he had his never forget uh Boyon of Toronto. He was a 40-year-old Italian Norman and he grew up all his father his father Robert the Wy was conquering Italy. So I don't really know who the Norman are but whatever. I I I just imagine them as like the whiter Italians.

[00:17:49]>> I I think so. Gardin, you might be a Norman. could be.

[00:17:53]>> So, so this guy uh Boyon, he was basically just grew up in an ongoing military conquest and uh it says he I think his dad was doing he was fighting the Greeks and he was fighting the Greeks in uh oh no tell you what this is why I was always confused cuz Norman you would think Normandy in France which is northern France. Uh the Normans were a population arising in the medieval duche of Normandy from the intermingling between Norse Viking settlers and indigenous West Franks and Gallow Romans. The term is also used to denote immigrants from the duche who conquered other territories such as England and Sicily. So he was just from Sicily.

[00:18:34]>> Okay.

[00:18:34]>> But Normandes borders the channel between England and >> is that what it is?

[00:18:39]>> So yeah, like D-Day.

[00:18:41]>> So this guy might have been a Viking. He might have been just a regular >> could have been a [ __ ] or a Viking. Yeah, that's kind of >> Got you.

[00:18:47]>> But if you said he was a Italian Norman, he was Sicilian.

[00:18:51]>> That must that's probably what it was.

[00:18:52]So he was he So he grew up while his dad was just like >> devastating parts of Italy.

[00:18:58]>> Came of age. He like just was doing that was like his work going to work with his dad >> grows up and then go he fights the Greeks in a four-year Balkan campaign.

[00:19:06]He was rumored to be tall as [ __ ] and jacked and they were like he knows a lot about everyone was like yeah this dude's like legit >> but he also for some reason didn't have any money which was weird.

[00:19:17]>> So he was like seeking riches. He had like military experience but he just like didn't have any dough and he was joined by his cousin Tankrit of Oat View >> Duke of Lower Luron.

[00:19:27]>> I like it.

[00:19:27]>> So Tankrit was his boy and Tanker apparently was very these two dudes were had their eyes on the prize politically.

[00:19:33]Yeah. These guys were like, "We want to take different other stuff or take like territory." Then there was Godfrey Abu dude beast. Enemy of the pope. It was in hot water. He ruined church property.

[00:19:43]>> Yeah.

[00:19:44]>> What was he doing?

[00:19:44]>> I don't know. He just he had beef with the pope. The pope was not wellliked at this point.

[00:19:48]>> That was a [ __ ] dude.

[00:19:49]>> He was rubbing up against like the elites and they were like, "Dude, [ __ ] off." And that's why they think the pope kind this was like a basically a power play.

[00:19:56]>> Yeah.

[00:19:56]>> From >> this is from u Alexios in Constantinople.

[00:20:02]>> What do you mean? It's Yeah. Constant.

[00:20:03]>> Oh, Alexios was is that where it's from?

[00:20:05]>> Alexios. The reason quick research.

[00:20:08]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:20:09]>> That is important. The reason the pope was doing that is because the Byzantine Empire was fighting with the Muslims.

[00:20:14]So, the Byzantine Empire, which is like >> modern day Turkey.

[00:20:18]>> Yeah.

[00:20:18]>> Is >> they reached out.

[00:20:20]>> The [ __ ] Constantinople was the Muslims were over there.

[00:20:24]>> Yeah.

[00:20:24]>> They were doing battle with them and they're like, "Christian brothers, we need help.

[00:20:28]>> Send some people." And the Pope was like, "Muslims are pieces of [ __ ] That that was part of they go and they have to help him.

[00:20:35]>> Yeah.

[00:20:36]>> That was that was a big beef because they wanted to go take the holy cities and they a lot of the crusades was just them helping like strategic cities of constant. Dang, dude.

[00:20:43]>> Yeah.

[00:20:44]>> Dang.

[00:20:45]>> Cuz it's the Eastern Roman Empire.

[00:20:47]>> Yeah.

[00:20:47]>> Yeah.

[00:20:48]>> And he Yeah. He had his whole sight set on taking retaking all that's the whole first crusade was them taking back cities for the whatchamacall for the bros of the east. So Godfrey, he was also jacked and tall and apparently the area he lorded over was like notoriously unruly and so like it was it just sucked. Like he got he got a bad land to take care of and it was just like you're a constant threat of being like over being couped.

[00:21:10]>> Yeah.

[00:21:10]>> Um so he was kind of like people assume he wanted to crusade so he could get a new thief dome in the east. He was kind of like this kind of sucks. I want to get out of here.

[00:21:17]>> So his brother Baldwin of Buon uh was also a power-hungry bro so he he went with him. Um, so that was a southern faction of France. And then there was a northern Frenchman. There was Rober Dor or Dor, Duke of Normandy. He his brother was the king of England. And then he was joined by Steven, his brother-in-law.

[00:21:34]>> It's not Linhardt right now, is it?

[00:21:36]Who's the king of England?

[00:21:37]>> No, Linhard, I think, was second crusade. I forget the name of the guy, the king of England. It was like I don't remember. But then his cousin Rober, Count of Flanders, came too.

[00:21:48]>> Um, >> yeah, Richard was >> Yeah, he wasn't he wasn't yet. He He was a hundred years later.

[00:21:56]>> Yeah, he that was that was the second one, right?

[00:21:59]>> Yeah.

[00:22:00]>> L Apparently Linhardt was the [ __ ] man.

[00:22:02]>> Richard Linhardt. Dude, how sick is that name, >> dude? So, I'm sorry I'm cutting you off.

[00:22:09]>> No, no, no. Please. I like I actually like the uh whatchamacallit the different uh different researchers.

[00:22:15]It actually helps.

[00:22:17]So, a full year passes, dude. a full year passes and then the all these dudes like the seven knights and all their forces.

[00:22:23]>> Sorry to cut you off again. I'm looking at Richard Linhardt's uh Wikipedia and you it says early life blah blah blah.

[00:22:31]Next thing is king and crusader. So I clicked it. First thing coronation and anti-Jewish violence. Hold the for >> No, not again.

[00:22:39]>> God damn it. Lionheart >> they think he was gay.

[00:22:44]>> They think he was Richard Lionheart was gay. He said, "I'll be behind the couch."

[00:22:51]>> What? Uh, Richard I was officially invested as Duke of Normandy on July 20th, 1189 and crowned king in Westminster Abbey on September 3rd, 1189. Tradition barred all Jews and women from the in the event.

[00:23:08]>> Some Jewish leaders arrived to present gifts for the new king. According to Ralph Dick, Ralph of Detto, Richard's Cordier's stripped and flogged the Jews and then flung them out of court.

[00:23:20]>> God damn it, dude.

[00:23:22]>> There's just something there's nothing funny about denying access to Jews or denying access to women, but when you pair them together, it's very funny for some reason. It's like, no Jews are women. It's like, >> why?

[00:23:32]>> Why the [ __ ] >> Then a rumor spread that Richard had ordered all the Jews to be killed.

[00:23:39]>> Oh, no. Oh, you know how that rumor kicks up?

[00:23:41]>> Yeah.

[00:23:42]>> And the people of London attacked the Jewish population.

[00:23:46]>> Jeez, man. The I think it's I think it's like something you got to do. I think it's like, you know, they hit like a a ship with a bottle before it goes off.

[00:23:54]If you go to fight Muslims, you have to like just rough some Jews up and then run over the Muslim. It's a warm-up.

[00:23:58]You're like, "All right, >> it's a tradition."

[00:24:00]>> That's crazy, dude. That's [ __ ] nuts.

[00:24:05]>> Yeah.

[00:24:07]What the [ __ ] That's so [ __ ] bizarre there. But there's also there's no like they never mention it. They're like, "Oh, yeah." And then like right during that time they like just [ __ ] the Jews up and then they went and did the Crusades too.

[00:24:18]>> Yeah.

[00:24:18]>> But also I it's probably just part of that like, "Yeah, you're [ __ ] kind of like those guys. What the [ __ ] they doing? Tell us. Tell us."

[00:24:23]>> Once once the pope starts like, >> "Yeah, >> you're either Christian or we kill you.

[00:24:27]That's what we got to go over there and do." They're like, "Hey."

[00:24:30]>> True.

[00:24:30]>> You know these guys with the land that live next to us?

[00:24:33]>> Yeah.

[00:24:34]>> We could go take all their stuff.

[00:24:37]>> Yeah. They're probably kind of crushing on the Jews for it's probably it's the green light.

[00:24:40]>> But I also think the Jews weren't doing great.

[00:24:43]>> No, back then I thought >> European Jews I think were not doing that great back then.

[00:24:47]>> Well, there's that whole thing of like in the I don't know when in medieval times they said they were like barred from doing certain jobs and they only let them do money stuff. So they'd be like you guys can loan money and be like the money changers.

[00:24:57]>> Yeah.

[00:24:58]>> And then if it this they were saying like the these like dukes and lords would be like if they wanted to gain favor they could be like you know who's [ __ ] you guys over? the Jews and they'd be like, "They're loaning you all this money." But the Christians weren't the Christians weren't allowed by their thing. They weren't allowed to loan money. So they just have it's like when they outsource torture. They'd be like, "All right, Jews, you guys do the money stuff." And then they would be like, "Yo, these Jews are [ __ ] you guys." And then when they No, this is what it was.

[00:25:24]When they would end up owing their money lenders, who were the Jews, money, they'd be like, "Or just turn my whole population against you guys and never pay you back."

[00:25:32]>> So, >> all right. I'm sorry.

[00:25:33]>> No, sorry to cut you off. That's actually >> I was just trying to look up Lion Hart.

[00:25:36]>> That's riveting stuff though.

[00:25:37]>> First thing you click on is he flogged a bunch of Jews when he got coronated.

[00:25:42]>> No Jews, no women. That's >> I do like that. Then the rumor started >> that he's gay.

[00:25:46]>> And Richard said all Jews should be killed and the people of London attacked them.

[00:25:51]>> But it was just a rumor.

[00:25:52]>> Yeah.

[00:25:54]>> Yeah. That people saw the flogging and they it took the flogging out of context.

[00:26:02]Oh my god.

[00:26:04]So yeah, so a year after Pope Urban gives a speech, November 1096, uh the waves of crusaders start flowing through Istanbul, capital of the Byzantine Empire.

[00:26:16]So they can't they all they weren't like they still weren't like in a cohesive force. So they rolled through Constantinople in waves over the course of six months.

[00:26:25]>> Yeah. Yeah. So, the and this this it comes into play because the first to arrive was Godfrey >> who every time like a wave of crusaders came by, the the dude you're talking about, Alexius or whatever, >> he would get like whoever was in charge of them, he'd take them in. He would just shower them with gifts >> and be like, "Yo, >> you're going to do what I want. Yeah, you're going to help me out here. You don't you kind of don't have a uh you don't have a choice." And they would also he would give them tons of like military he would promise him military reinforcements. And also he was like, "I know how the Seljuk Turks operate cuz I've been fighting them." So he was like, "I'll tell you what you need to do, but like I'm going to point to cities and you guys are going to do that." Yeah.

[00:27:02]>> That was a point of contention the whole time to cuz they all they wanted Jerusalem, bro.

[00:27:06]>> Yeah.

[00:27:06]>> Like we're here. There was dudes who were really there for religious purposes >> and they would just be kind of like >> they'd be like, "We're going, dude.

[00:27:13]We're going. We just got to stop at this one." And >> just stop here. Stop here.

[00:27:16]>> They would get so mad.

[00:27:17]>> Get me all this stuff.

[00:27:18]>> Also, this is actually made me laugh.

[00:27:20]The deal was also that any cities captured that used to belong to the Byzantine Empire would be handed back to the empire. So like none of you French because uh Alexius thought the French were notoriously they were spazzes and they were selfish greedy. He was like they're selfish greedy spazzes.

[00:27:37]>> Yeah.

[00:27:37]>> So he was like I don't want them taking any of this stuff.

[00:27:39]>> Yeah. I mean they would if they took a city they would probably just be like no this is French now.

[00:27:43]>> That was another one that was that was another thing that was going on. But and the thing that really like threw Godfrey for a loop is when he came into the room, Alexius didn't give him any kisses, dude. He just sat there like this in a throne. Usually it was a customer to get up and do kisses. And he was like, Alexius gave no kisses.

[00:27:58]>> He didn't kiss.

[00:27:59]>> Which kind of like threw Godfrey to for a looper. He was like, "Damn, this dude [ __ ] rules."

[00:28:04]>> Oh, he respected him.

[00:28:05]>> He thought it was so regal to be like he he was like looking at like a highborn lord and just >> and their cities were like unlike anything Yeah. they had over like [ __ ] Paris was nothing compared to Constantinople. It was nothing. Like their walls were the walls they had around these cities were just [ __ ] nuts.

[00:28:22]>> Yeah, you got goddamn Seljuks outside throwing rockets.

[00:28:25]>> True. They had a reason for them.

[00:28:26]>> Yeah.

[00:28:27]>> I mean, I wonder if they probably had some people. Do you think they had any people back then that were against them?

[00:28:31]The walls.

[00:28:32]>> They were like, "Tear down the walls.

[00:28:33]>> Tear down these walls.

[00:28:35]>> Borders are bad. It's like we left the door open one night and 10 people got [ __ ] skinned alive, dude." No, we got to get walls.

[00:28:44]>> So over the course of 6 months, every single night basically accepted the same terms. They would just get showered in gifts and like yeah, well like any city is yours like you know we're they'd be like we're they also wanted to be under his banner cuz they were like this dude rules. They saw his city.

[00:28:57]>> They had like tons of like cool relics and [ __ ] and they were like dude like that was a big relic were a huge deal.

[00:29:03]>> So they were like dude we'll fight under your banner. They wanted him personally to lead them. That was like a matter of honor sick.

[00:29:08]>> Which he never did. But the uh the Count Raymore of Tulu, >> he wasn't getting up, dude. He wasn't getting up for kisses and they're like, "We want you to lead us."

[00:29:17]>> He was he was watching. No, he but he was he I'm not going to be anywhere near, but he was watching.

[00:29:23]>> He came He comes into play later.

[00:29:24]>> But the Count Raymore of Tulu was the only one who told Alexius to [ __ ] off.

[00:29:28]He was He was so This guy was so rich.

[00:29:30]He was like, "Bro, I don't give a fuck."

[00:29:32]>> He's like, "I'll go do the cities you want me to, but I'll let you know if what I decide to do."

[00:29:36]>> So, he was the only one Alexius couldn't flip. And Alexi is like, "Whatever. I have enough people. So, February 1097, the crusaders arrive on the shores of Asia Minor and plan to attack Nika.

[00:29:48]And this is what happened. This is why the people's crusade actually was good because when they all went down there, so the sultan of the region that the like second wave of crusaders came into was named Khazlan and he was the one in charge of like that area that had to smash all the like the poor guys who walked in there. So when he heard another wave of crusaders was coming, he was just like, "Whatever." And he left.

[00:30:10]>> He was like, "Great, >> dude." He was like, he wanted to handle like personal biz in the east. So he was like, "I got to go do a land dispute."

[00:30:15]Um, yo, if these guys come, just [ __ ] them up.

[00:30:17]>> Just kill them again.

[00:30:18]>> He's like, "I'll be back." But he kind of him and all his boys left. So they got to cross the Bosphorus, which I don't even know what that is, but that was like an area, I guess, between like the >> That might be Turkey.

[00:30:29]>> Is that what that? Yeah, maybe. Um, but they got to set up a beach head. So that was a big deal. They got to like set up a like a good strategic position completely uncontested all because those poor idiots led by Peter the hermit went and died.

[00:30:44]>> So that did that didn't all count to nothing.

[00:30:45]>> The Boserus is where you cross to get from So Istanbul borders >> Mhm.

[00:30:51]>> Europe and Asia.

[00:30:52]>> Okay.

[00:30:52]>> And the Boserus is the straight that separates it.

[00:30:55]>> Yeah. So they got to go across that completely uncontested and set up a beach head, which I don't know what a beach head is either, but I was like >> a beach head >> does sound pretty sick. I'm guessing it's some sort of like >> it's like a landing area.

[00:31:07]>> Oh, okay. It's >> like you set up kind of like a fort where you can cross.

[00:31:10]>> So, they got they set >> to guess. Yep.

[00:31:12]>> It's just what I assume.

[00:31:13]>> So, they set up the beach head. Also, Oslon was the one who had captured Nika and was using it for like his personal capital of, you know, whatever his territory was. So, May 6, 1097, crusaders arrive outside of Nika and the town is protected by 3 miles of 30ft walls with 100 towers. They say, >> "Damn, there's 100 battlemen or whatever, whatever they call them." Um, and the western edge of the city bordered the Ascanian lake, which [ __ ] them up cuz they wanted to set up a total blockade and they couldn't because they no matter what they had, you know, they had like that partial um whatchamacallit they could get reinforcements with ships and there was nothing they could do for that.

[00:31:51]>> So, hold on. Time out. Time out. There's a part that says jump to my notes. I think I passed by, but I >> jump to notes.

[00:32:03]>> Jump to notes. We're talking about the siege of Nika. Is that what we're doing?

[00:32:06]>> Yeah, but I'm trying to Oh, I my my pages jumped a couple uh cuz I I ran out of time doing it in my computer.

[00:32:15]All right, here we go. So, we cross the Asia Minor.

[00:32:18]Cardini, can you pause real quick? Here we go. I got him right now. So, Kh returns to the capital in late spring and just sees the capital. They're talking about Nika is surrounded by French forces and he's like, "Damn, these guys have like horses and weaponry."

[00:32:32]>> Yeah.

[00:32:33]>> He's like, "Damn, I might have [ __ ] up." So, he he he's coming back. He he sees her there. He goes, "I'm going to launch a surprise attack. I'm going to launch a surprise attack on these dudes." And he probably would have [ __ ] them up, but the secret plot was foiled because the French forces had hap they just captured a Turkish spy who they tortured and threatened with death.

[00:32:53]And he spilled the beans about the surprise attack. So they knew that Kh was coming again. He would have if he surprised him they said he would have [ __ ] him up. So Kh attacks. They know he's coming and they just overwhelm him with their sheer numbers cuz again they had like 60,000 >> spilled the goddamn beans.

[00:33:10]>> They [ __ ] up. They were they were ready for him and they just completely overwhelmed him. Ruin the surprise. Kh has to retreat. And this was like a tremendous blow to the morale of his Muslim troops cuz back then the Muslims were like and they were pretty much like militarily superior on like their strategy was better. They were better >> there.

[00:33:28]>> Exactly. For >> especially over there.

[00:33:29]>> Exactly. For the temps and everything.

[00:33:31]And uh that kind of [ __ ] them up because they were like wait a second.

[00:33:34]Like we they didn't think they could lose these guys at all cuz they just slaughtered like 15,000 of them. Um, so the crusaders take the dead Muslim dudes, decapitated like hundreds of corpses, put their heads on pikes outside of the walls of Nika and just sat there and just terrorized them. And they were even throwing heads over the wall. They were just being [ __ ] jerks, dude.

[00:33:54]>> They being the they're being [ __ ] >> So then, dude, so then they the Turks then responded by lowering. So they had Christians living within Nika. So they started killing their Christian population, which you don't really hear about, but they start they started killing their Christian population.

[00:34:09]>> About that too much, but that's all right.

[00:34:12]>> They're they started lowering down dead Christians on hooks outside of the walls. It's like, "Oh, yeah." Like, "Oh, yeah. [ __ ] you." And they let these dead Christians rot outside the walls of their city.

[00:34:21]>> Yeah.

[00:34:21]>> So, >> and the crusaders were like, "Dude, we don't care."

[00:34:24]>> They got pissed.

[00:34:24]>> We don't even know those guys.

[00:34:26]>> No, they would actually So, when they put the heads on the walls, >> they're throwing the heads of your friends back. The Muslims, they would cry and grit their teeth, but then when they would do it to us, we would cry and get upset, too. So, we would >> not let a nashing of teeth.

[00:34:37]>> We would both sides would cry and be like, "Oh, come on. What the fuck?"

[00:34:43]>> So, so then the crusaders are going, "All right, so they got the we can only >> All right, that's [ __ ] up. That's [ __ ] up.

[00:34:48]>> That's the line.

[00:34:49]>> Don't do that. Don't lower them down on hooks."

[00:34:51]>> I think the Muslims technically were punching down at this point.

[00:34:54]>> They were punching down >> cuz technologically they were superior.

[00:34:56]They Yeah. So they were still punching down, which the the Christians were like, "That's not funny.

[00:35:00]>> That's not funny. We're allowed to do it, but >> cuz it's punching up."

[00:35:05]Um, so okay. So then the crusaders are going, "All right, so here's what we're going to do. We're going to do two styles of siege warfare simultaneously.

[00:35:12]We're going to do a blockade of the north, east, and south to slow their food intake, and we're going to launch siege warfare. We're going to scale the ladders or we're going to scale the walls with ladders, which uh the ladders failed instantly." Yeah. So, they got a 3/4 blockade. That's going well. I'm pretty sure the ladders just got pushed down off the walls. Like, that just didn't work at all.

[00:35:32]>> So, then they try to build >> The ladders are hard now. Like a 10ft ladder in their house is scary.

[00:35:37]>> I'm shaking with metal.

[00:35:39]>> Yeah, dude.

[00:35:39]>> You have like a wooden 80 foot [ __ ] or 30 foot ladder >> that they built >> that a guy on top's just going to >> You're going to get home alone right off that thing. Dude, they would set up chop down trees and build siege weaponry right outside of your thing. And you'd be like, "What are they doing?" Like, they're building siege weaponry.

[00:35:57]>> They're trying to build weapons.

[00:35:58]>> So, you'd watch a you'd watch a bunch of like a like a construction site for like 4 days, put together a ladder, and then just be like, >> "Get the [ __ ] off.

[00:36:06]>> Get the hot tar ready. We got to dump it on morons trying to crawl over."

[00:36:11]>> They were destroying them with that stuff.

[00:36:13]>> Hot tar would be a real negative experience.

[00:36:16]So they they started to build some stone throwing machines to break the walls, but like they was like pure North Korea missile launch. It was not going anywhere. So So then they started to this was actually kind of sick. They would get these really light ladders and they would set up like distractions on one part of the thing so that like people started and then they put up another ladder real quick and start kind of going over and [ __ ] them up.

[00:36:39]>> So that was >> I like the walls worked for a long time.

[00:36:41]Dude, they were really You have to >> walls was just like, "All right, we can't beat these guys."

[00:36:45]>> It was over the wall, >> but if you get a full blockade, you could starve him to death. That's what a lot of people That's like kind of like that was the most It's pretty much all they try to do the whole time.

[00:36:54]>> Yeah. Siege.

[00:36:55]>> Um, so so they're doing that, you know, they're trying to like sneak in and do all that. It was like they were kind of making some headway, but not really. And a lot of the times the dudes who were like launching these like ladder attacks, like you were saying, it was you were getting Oh, no. That's what they were doing. They started trying to go. That's what they So, they had the ladders to go up and create a distraction. And then they'd run in and try to like sneak in and kind of disturb parts of the wall by hand. And meanwhile, they were getting there arrows at them, rocks dropped on them, and boiling oil to like just try to like dent the land or dent the uh whatchamacallit, the walls and [ __ ] them up. And all the whole time they would put like these wooden timber shields over them. So, they would that was a thing they were doing. I'm I'm sorry.

[00:37:38]They would have one guy put a ladder up to distract and then they had this big wooden thing they'd kind of like sneak in under and try to like [ __ ] the wall up and they would just be dropping rocks and boiling oil on you.

[00:37:49]>> So the one they built was called the fox. That was the one that kind of block the oil. So like if we have this wooden thing, it'll just kind of like go off the thing.

[00:37:56]>> Um so they they 20 dudes were under it and it collapsed on them and crushed them.

[00:38:03]So that was the northern guys and the southern French guys made a sturdier like like big wooden shield and they actually started a siege mine where that you start to dig underneath the walls.

[00:38:14]So like [ __ ] it, we'll go under the walls. If you can't go over, if we can't break the walls, >> we'll do a siege mine.

[00:38:19]>> And what they would do is that you would dig a hole and then light a fire cuz you wanted to like find their like underpinnings and burn them out. And then see like if you could get a bunch of earth out from under one of the walls, the walls, like part of the walls would crumble. So they go in on June 1st, 1097, they set up their siege mine, they burn their wood, and uh a section of like the wall actually collapsed in the bottom. They got like a little bit of an opening.

[00:38:43]>> The Turks fixed it in one day, bro.

[00:38:45]>> Son of a [ __ ] >> No further progress was made.

[00:38:48]>> Damn it.

[00:38:48]>> No further progress was made. So then the dude, the crusaders chilled for two weeks just being like, "Uh, I don't know. What do you want to do?" But dude, Alexius had been sitting there chilling in the Askian lake. No one knew he was there. Small navy fleet there just waiting to the he was the west of the city. And he'd been kind of watching, observing the siege, kind of like, "All right, not too bad." He also sent his top unic, general, Tacitus, who also had had his nose sliced off and wore a golden replica.

[00:39:16]>> So he had a unic with no nose, no dong, who he he was like, "You go down there and advise the troops and like kind of help these guys. I'm going to chill up here. And then Alexis, >> he had a complete freak show. He had a V they >> dude. He had a full [ __ ] thing.

[00:39:29]>> A complete they >> he had an absolute creature, dude.

[00:39:32]>> One of the OG they >> Yep. He had an >> like, "Sir, what do we do?" Um, actually Tacitus. So he sends Tacitus down, but these guys would see him and be like, "Fuck this dude. He was mythical.

[00:39:47]>> That guy's awesome.

[00:39:48]>> Mythical." So then dawn June 18th, Alexius dispatched a secret flotilla, which sick word of Greek ship or not Greek ships of ships to cut Nao off. So he completed the blockade completely. So now the city now they can actually do the uh start getting hungry.

[00:40:04]>> Yep.

[00:40:05]>> So then as the city gets kind of fully constricted, the Franks launched another land attack on the Turks and the Turks were like we get we give up. They put up the ladle.

[00:40:14]>> Yeah. So then the emperor, so whatchamacallit Alexius comes, meets with the French knights and decides that Antioch is the next target. And he also goes, "You guys can keep Tacitus and a small force of Byzantine troops." So Nika fell. They took Nika, you know, a few months. Um and he also kind of like he sent the Tacis and his bros nice and he was like here's he gave that's when he started telling him like dude this is how you're going to have to cross now like a large strip of desert to go to Constantinople or no Antioch. He's like you're going to have to cross like >> some pretty brutal terrain. Here's how you do it and like you know here's what you do. So that's that's the start of crossing the Asia Minor. So these guys are all like nice. They're pumped on themselves. Um, so they're still like they're still wrestling with a lack of centralized leadership because they're still they're all trying to vive for like who's the top guy and nobody really got the total glory cuz none of the Frenchmen were really successful. Southern French were kind of like high on their hog. The northern guys were like they stink this whole time. Yeah.

[00:41:15]>> They don't do anything.

[00:41:16]>> So the French guys are kind of like this is nice, but really it was Alexius who came and turned the tides of the war.

[00:41:21]>> Um, so that's kind of the big deal right now. It's like, how can we stay as one unified force? And also crossing Asia Minor, they were trying to figure out, they're like, if we stay in one cohesive force, it'll take us forever to cross.

[00:41:34]Cuz I guess it was a kind of like a narrow, there's parts of the roads that were kind of narrow. So they were like, either we're going to split into a bunch of little forces and move quickly or stay in one like one big blob of people, which will take too long. So then they decided like, let's just split north and south half and half. That way we're still pretty strong, but we kind of we're a little lighter on the feet and we can move.

[00:41:54]>> Um, so Khlon, so they they split up. They're like, "All right, let's start walking across the Asian minor."

[00:42:02]>> The defeated Kh amasses an army and he laid in wait for like he's like, "I'm going to [ __ ] these guys up when I see them." Cuz he they retreated back and they kind of like hung back there.

[00:42:10]>> So the first guys to come were the northerners and they did that Seljuk Turk uh warfare where they were they were in circle >> just ride around. Yep. Shoot bows and arrows. So they did, >> dude. So they they circle the crusaders and they're the crusaders have no [ __ ] clue what's going on. So some of them start to break rank and flee, but the uh I guess Bow Mo was with him as well. He was from the southern thing. So Bowmo and Roar somehow got all of their forces to hold their ground in the middle of the siege. They were like, "Dude, stand your ground." And they just made like they kind of like just set up like a little makeshift defensive camp.

[00:42:44]So they're sitting they're just getting just pelted with arrows for just dude for hours getting pelted getting pelted and uh they also so the only thing they did to boost morale they did a whisper down the lane and they went stand together brothers in Christ and they all went they all just did a uh whatchamacallit they said stand fast together trusting in Christ and the victory of the holy cross >> today may we all >> gain more much booty that was that was the thing they went may we all gain it was like Baldwin's mom's a [ __ ] >> So then this they have this like makeshift kind of defensive camp. The Turks break the ranks and they start [ __ ] going through killing men, women, and children. And then this is when women started offering themselves up to the [ __ ] Turks fully being like this is like highborn noble wives being like just take me. I'm like a princess of I'm a European. And they were like come [ __ ] me. Basically being like giving up the posie. Yeah, >> they set up they did the honeypot.

[00:43:44]The bros still held it down despite all of this stuff of like their kids dying, women just being dis >> women immediately being like, "Well, things are going bad. I should probably [ __ ] the guys who are winning."

[00:43:54]>> Turn coats. Yeah.

[00:43:55]>> Disgusting.

[00:43:56]>> Turn coats, dude. So the uh but then the southern, you know, the southern force eventually arrives 5 hours into this the Turks breaking ranks and it's just a [ __ ] melee.

[00:44:05]>> Southern forces arrive and repel the Turks. So you're dealing with 4,000 Christians dead, 3,000 Turks died, >> and that like makes it in that little like quick little surprise attack. Kh gives up at this point because it was technically a loss for the Turks since they were the ones who had to retreat.

[00:44:21]>> Um, so then so the so the Christians after that battle, that was like their last like military thing that like they had to go through.

[00:44:29]>> Bush slip up where he says it.

[00:44:31]>> What'd he say?

[00:44:31]>> He's like this disgusting invasion of Iraq. I mean >> Ukraine. No.

[00:44:38]>> Yeah. Yeah. He's like totally unjustified invasion of Iraq. Uh Ukraine.

[00:44:42]>> Oh no.

[00:44:42]>> Like Jesus Christ, dude.

[00:44:44]>> And he slipped Michelle Obama. Where's Michelle Obama? I have to give her candy.

[00:44:47]>> Worthers.

[00:44:48]>> Please. Someone [ __ ] take this from me.

[00:44:50]>> Yeah, man. It that's all it would take them to be like, bro, we've all been That's reading the Crusades book and it was like, well, who really was a It's like, dude, everyone was just being massive [ __ ] back then.

[00:45:00]>> Yeah.

[00:45:00]>> You had massive [ __ ] at the top of society clashing with each other, then recruiting the dumb asses of society.

[00:45:06]Yeah. Stab each other. So, this is all the crusades or just the first?

[00:45:10]>> All of them. He went the first the people's crusade. He went into that.

[00:45:13]>> Wait till you get to the end, >> bro. I can't. I'm excited.

[00:45:15]>> The like [ __ ] sixth crusade is like >> they don't even go to the Middle East.

[00:45:19]They go to Constantinople and just sack a Christian city.

[00:45:23]>> Really?

[00:45:23]>> Yeah. They're like, "Fuck [ __ ] this."

[00:45:24]>> They talk about the people's crusade.

[00:45:26]So, just to keep the chronological timeline, they get the like a couple dukes going up and then it's going through the papacy. Like the Muslims are already they're crushing it. They're set for [ __ ] holy war. there's nothing to get them in the holy war. It's like, "Yeah, dude. We know it's in it's in our book. Like, we'll turn it on if we have to."

[00:45:39]>> The popes had the popes were apparently obscure and didn't have like authority over all of Christianity.

[00:45:46]>> Like, they were the pope had its own struggle to like be the [ __ ] spiritual general of all the Christians or all the Catholics.

[00:45:53]>> So, they there was a thing saying the pope really stoked the flames of the crusades. Then that elevated the papacy to like a power position because people were like f kind of like, "Yo, who the fuck?" This guy was like, "I'm your boss." And they were like, "Shut the [ __ ] up."

[00:46:06]>> Who?

[00:46:06]>> [ __ ] you.

[00:46:07]>> There's a guy in Italy.

[00:46:09]>> Yeah, dude. And that guy was from France. Pope Urban was from a monastery in France. And he like [ __ ] somehow uh like religion lorded like Game of Thrones, which is such the darkest and most evil [ __ ] in the world.

[00:46:23]>> But he Pope Gregory was like, "Yo, we should probably It's kind of cool if we [ __ ] people up in God's name." And the people were like, "What the [ __ ] dude?"

[00:46:30]Then he died and Pope Urban was like, "Yo, that guy was crazy." But for real, guys, these Muslims are out of control.

[00:46:35]>> Yeah.

[00:46:35]>> And if you want to get all your sins wiped away, >> just go to pilgrimage and bring swords.

[00:46:39]Like if you [ __ ] some guy up and you die, that's cool. You're allowed to like, dude, it's mega resolving all your sins if you go there and just chop a dude up. But he was like, "But only sins you confess." So there's all these things, but then you get like street guys who would like it was uh [ __ ] who was what was this guy's name? Something the hermit. This it was like this dude was basically basically Smeaggle. He only ate fish and drank wine and he was apparent he was revolt his appearance was revolting.

[00:47:05]>> Probably stunk like [ __ ] >> dude. He was just he was a France. He was a frog as well. Northeastern France.

[00:47:10][ __ ] I'm blanking.

[00:47:11]>> Frog is nasty.

[00:47:12]>> Something the hermit dude. He was wicked. But he assembled 15,000 towns people just by his riveting speeches cuz he was like so that the official the pope would be like here's the deal but here's the red tape. And the guy like the people who commanded people in the street would be like, "Yo, if you go [ __ ] Muslims up, you're forgiven forever." Yeah. And people were like, "He got 15," that was the guy apparently who actually sent 15,000 people to just get slaughtered in the first crusade.

[00:47:36]>> Peter the Hermit.

[00:47:37]>> Nice. And he 15,000 people. He brought his bros and they all got he survived.

[00:47:40]He came back like, "Oh, fuck."

[00:47:43]>> Yeah.

[00:47:43]>> But he would come back.

[00:47:44]>> Was it the Malukes? Who [ __ ] them up?

[00:47:46]>> Yeah, I think I think the Tjilute. What were the Turks?

[00:47:48]>> Tur Turk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:47:50]>> Some [ __ ] Turgals or some [ __ ] Yeah, they were nasty.

[00:47:52]>> They got taken into the Sunni, I think, fold. The Shiites, I think, were in the south towards uh North North Africa. And I think the Sunnis migrated closer to the West, which I think they then formed like those countries that ended up traditionally like trading more with the West. And the Shiites are like, "Fuck those guys."

[00:48:10]>> Nice.

[00:48:11]>> If I'm not mistaken, >> but yeah. So, he he brought the bros over and it was like just you you've met you've talked about this before. They both went over the the first crusade was just dudes wandering and getting [ __ ] up. Yeah, >> unanimously just destroyed. But some dudes also just broke off and just started murdering Jewish people.

[00:48:28]>> They were like, "Whoa, Jews."

[00:48:31]>> God damn.

[00:48:32]>> Rinland's Germany, right?

[00:48:33]>> Yeah.

[00:48:34]>> So, there's dudes who broke off in Ryland. They're like, "What the [ __ ] The Jews?" They're like, "Can we go to heaven for killing these guys?" And they're like, "Yeah, [ __ ] them."

[00:48:40]>> Yeah, definitely.

[00:48:41]>> So, they just murder. There's like people just went and like just murder the Jews in Germany.

[00:48:45]>> In the water over there, >> dude. That's what I was like, Jesus Christ.

[00:48:48]>> They had to change, it was like a strip club. They had to change it from Rinland to Germany.

[00:48:53]>> It used to be called Rinland. They did their first time killing the Jews. Like, we can't call Rinland anymore, dude.

[00:48:58]>> Yeah.

[00:48:58]>> Germany. Like, all right, don't do that again.

[00:49:01]>> Yeah. They just broke off. I'm like, Jews, get out of here.

[00:49:04]>> Just like the dumbest idiots ever who were just like, "Yeah, come on. Let's go. What did that [ __ ] weird schmegel guy say?" And they were just like, "Yeah, whoa, [ __ ] Those guys look weird.

[00:49:15]>> I'm excited for you.

[00:49:15]>> They look different."

[00:49:16]>> I cuz I vaguely remember what happens.

[00:49:18]There's like the children's crusade.

[00:49:20]There's like >> Yeah, they brought their kids too.

[00:49:22]Apparently nuts. It was 15,000 with like 8,000 soldiers and like 10,000 women and ch something. Cra a ton of women and children.

[00:49:30]>> Yeah, >> they just wandered down and got destroyed like what? Who the [ __ ] are these guys? What is being told to them?

[00:49:38]>> Why are they walking here?

[00:49:39]>> Well, that was the question cuz they were like the uh Pope Urban was like we're under threat. Like this is a real threat. Yeah. And I think the the Moors were coming up and they were clashing, but there was like there was no >> like cohesive threat of Islam because Islam was fractionated.

[00:49:54]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:49:55]>> At the time. But the thing is is like Yeah. But like these dudes didn't [ __ ] know this.

[00:49:59]>> No.

[00:49:59]>> They're just hearing word world word of mouth [ __ ] and they're like, "Yo, >> they're getting Fox News."

[00:50:03]>> Yes. Big time.

[00:50:04]>> They're like, "They hate our freedom, dude."

[00:50:05]>> Pope Urban literally was like, "These guys are doing unthinkable things to children. These guys are monsters." They hit him with like World War II propaganda.

[00:50:12]>> They hate our freedom.

[00:50:14]>> Still works. They're doing it right now.

[00:50:15]>> Yeah.

[00:50:15]>> On the news.

[00:50:16]>> Yeah.

[00:50:17]>> Russia's [ __ ] up, dude.

[00:50:18]>> Russia tortured guys.

[00:50:19]>> Yo, Russia's built different. They're hitting us like, "Yo, Russia's [ __ ] up, dude. Unspeakable atrocities." Still works, dude. Thousand years later. Yeah.

[00:50:27]It's like, who? Wait, they're doing what to who? Those guys are evil. We're good.

[00:50:32]Let's go get them.

[00:50:33]>> Yeah.

[00:50:33]>> So, that the authors put >> wars were sneaking up, dude.

[00:50:36]>> They were creeping. They even gave you, dude. They got >> Yep. They were conquering >> and there was >> Who was it? It was on 911.

[00:50:43]>> What? Yeah. 911 I think it was like Poland or Hungary ended the Muslim invasion into that part of Europe.

[00:50:51]>> Yeah. Yeah. I was pretty tight when I heard about that.

[00:50:53]>> Take a look at that. Let me fact check that. Would you?

[00:50:56]>> I don't know.

[00:50:59]Cuz 911 >> successful Muslim invasion crusades.

[00:51:04]>> Say date in history.

[00:51:06]>> Yeah. The dude dude so far is pretty fair. First I thought at first I thought he was going to be like, "Yo, [ __ ] the Christians. The Muslims are all good."

[00:51:12]But he's giving a he's basically being like there's a lot of different accounts and there are firsthand Muslim accounts of like yeah they were [ __ ] up Christian >> I'm sure they were >> dudes coming through there.

[00:51:22]>> I mean it had to be.

[00:51:23]>> Yeah, dude. Like >> I mean they still hold it down like that. They still tax there's under you know >> ISIS and [ __ ] They were like you're either getting killed or you're paying like ridiculous taxes if you're not a Muslim.

[00:51:35]>> So the first invasion I'm only up to the I I only got to this like the start of the second one. First invasion wildly unsuccessful. Although it did people started being like, "Yo, that's kind of sick, the crusade." Yeah.

[00:51:45]>> So then they had like the the nobility, none of the kings got involved during the second one, but all of like the nobility, a lot of them were like they were like and they were like they were just like look, they're opportunistic.

[00:51:55]These dudes would sell all of their [ __ ] >> Yeah.

[00:51:57]>> They would sell all of their belongings and be like, "Let's [ __ ] go and go crusade." And then there was just like a bunch of the French nobility and heaven.

[00:52:05]>> I can't wait to >> It's [ __ ] sick.

[00:52:06]>> Is that what it's about?

[00:52:07]>> Yeah.

[00:52:08]>> [ __ ] I can't wait.

[00:52:09]>> Bloom, dude. Come on.

[00:52:10]>> What? Yeah.

[00:52:11]>> But yeah, that's where I'm at right now in the book. The dudes are like now like the the real deals are going down there to be like, "All right, the guys with like actual military experience fighting the Muslims are like, "We're going down there." And then they talk about all the infighting going on and dude, the Muslims killed it and then all started grabbing for power, which it happens to everything.

[00:52:28]>> Yeah, of course.

[00:52:28]>> But yeah, they that's when the Sunnis and Shiites started beefing. It's pretty sick, man.

[00:52:32]>> To know more. Every time I learn about more about the Sunnis and Shiites, I'm like, "Yes."

[00:52:35]>> Yeah. I always forget, too.

[00:52:37]>> Yes. I had no idea. I went back. The beef is that far back.

[00:52:40]>> Yeah.

[00:52:41]>> And then there was one after >> But it's not See, back then it wasn't that far back >> cuz this is 1099 or something was the first crusade.

[00:52:49]>> Yeah.

[00:52:50]>> Muhammad was what, 500?

[00:52:52]>> Oh, no. I'm Yeah, for sure. I'm talking about now. It's like now to then it's like, god damn, these guys have been fighting for [ __ ] ever.

[00:52:59]>> But yeah, there was one of the one of the uh khalifs. He was called the mad khalif. He was like, dude, he apparently was crushing it. Like just d like sacking tons of cities and he like got so good at that. Yeah.

[00:53:12]>> He just all of a sudden declared himself a god >> and then started attacking his own people.

[00:53:16]>> I was like that must have been the funniest [ __ ] in the world. It's like what dude stop >> damn it. He god >> completely turned on his whole [ __ ] squad and was like dude I'm God. I'm going to [ __ ] literally just everyone up now.

[00:53:29]>> And everyone they probably had to like put him down >> but he probably led a battle into his town. time you do that though and you're like I'm god it ends you're going to be naked in a town square getting like drunk by people it's >> what' you find boy >> the m what's wrong with you >> they talked about that in the book there was a couple like >> maybe it was December 11th whatever >> Spain got [ __ ] up Spain was getting [ __ ] up but there was there were some successful blockades and that was due to it was due to the Muslim infighting they weren't >> let me show you something >> yeah you'll get it [ __ ] get that >> whatever I probably left you in the toilet taking a shot Yeah. But yeah, it's just 9/11 actual Muslim stuff.

[00:54:06]>> I thought you were a youngster that could search stuff.

[00:54:08]>> I'm trying my hardest. I'm coming through the Turks.

[00:54:11]>> You're not even that young anymore.

[00:54:13]>> Super highway. Uh 25.

[00:54:16]>> I know. This is my Twilight years.

[00:54:18]>> Yeah. You're going to start getting some elbows and the ribs at the family parties. Like, come on, Sean. Come on.

[00:54:22]You're not a kid anymore, man.

[00:54:23]>> Sean, you're not a kid anymore. It's time to stop acting so mature.

[00:54:26]>> You think?

[00:54:28]>> I feel like I'm pretty mature for my age.

[00:54:30]>> You think you're mature?

[00:54:32]Yeah, you do.

[00:54:32]>> Actually, no. I live in my mom and dad's house.

[00:54:34]>> That's mature. That's mature decision, dude. That's mature.

[00:54:37]>> That's a mature decision.

[00:54:38]>> I think in the Arab world, that's totally acceptable.

[00:54:40]>> For sure.

[00:54:41]>> True.

[00:54:42]>> Do you guys sit on you guys sit down and drink tea?

[00:54:45]>> No.

[00:54:46]>> And then you find your dad's porno.

[00:54:49]>> It's natural to watch porn.

[00:54:51]>> Well, you know, they say lended to the uh militarization of Christianity.

[00:54:55]>> What is it?

[00:54:56]>> Was taking in the pagan hordes. So they were like they were converting all these pagan guys and they were like back then they were like they're you know highly militarized people and a lot of these like Christian lords were like yeah I could kind of use a little bit of that for my >> Yeah. We need these [ __ ] forest retards.

[00:55:11]>> Yeah, you can kill literally.

[00:55:12]>> Yeah.

[00:55:13]>> Yeah, you guys can still kill people.

[00:55:14]That's actually kind of sick.

[00:55:15]>> Yeah, we like you guys. We're going to put you on a boat and we're going to head you we're going to ship you down there.

[00:55:20]>> Yeah.

[00:55:20]>> And then you guys go nuts.

[00:55:22]>> So that was the they had to like cuz they were like wait I can't attack it.

[00:55:24]That's so [ __ ] gay. Like no no no you could attack. I mean, if you have like a good reason to attack people, >> [ __ ] people up. Like, we're not like, you know, we're not against having fun or whatever. Like, we're just stuff.

[00:55:34]>> If you lived in the woods and your whole thing was like, dude, we get to attack people.

[00:55:37]>> Yeah.

[00:55:37]>> And then some Christians came like, "Stop." You'd be like, "Dude, I'm not I can't stop."

[00:55:41]>> A lot of them accept. They're like, "That [ __ ] rule." Like, wait.

[00:55:43]>> Attacking people was cool.

[00:55:45]>> Apparently, these dudes are pretty wooed over by Jesus stuff. They'd be like, "Yeah, that's better than ours." They were like kind of like, "No, that rules."

[00:55:50]>> Yeah. Jesus, the message of Christ usually works.

[00:55:52]>> They're like, "Wait, somebody loves me?"

[00:55:54]They're like, "Yeah, we can just be nice to each other and stop all this attacking."

[00:55:58]>> Yeah, >> that had to be tough, though, cuz there were definitely dudes that there were definitely societies that based their entire identity around attacking >> the Turks, bro.

[00:56:06]>> Turks at first, dude. The Turks, their big thing was they had two strategies.

[00:56:09]>> Turks have been pretty nasty throughout history, >> dude. Total encirclement. They would just totally encircle whoever they were.

[00:56:15]It was their one military formation.

[00:56:16]Encircle, shoot bows and arrows, and then just [ __ ] them up. Or they they were famous for fake retreats. They would fake retreat, let them break formation, then then >> you like that swarm, that circle with the arrows.

[00:56:26]>> Yeah, dude. It's pretty tight, >> dude. They could shoot those arrows 300 yards back then.

[00:56:30]>> Really?

[00:56:30]>> Yeah, that's exciting.

[00:56:31]>> So could the English or the English the >> long bowman >> long bowman 300 [ __ ] yards.

[00:56:36]>> Get the British long bowman out.

[00:56:37]>> 300 yards, dude.

[00:56:38]>> Dude, if you only gamed like I did, you'd know all these things. If you play with the Turks in medieval Total War, you hit the C. That's a move you can do.

[00:56:47]>> That was her two moves.

[00:56:49]>> Yeah. If you watched Kingdom of Heaven, you'll see them hit the circle.

[00:56:52]>> Really?

[00:56:52]>> You'll go, "God damn."

[00:56:53]>> So, they're all They were ponies, circles. They were all speed. They had a West Coast [ __ ] offense.

[00:56:58]>> It was a West Coast offense.

[00:56:59]>> Ponies speed.

[00:57:00]>> And the and the dumbass crusaders thought they could wear all their [ __ ] armor, make it in the desert.

[00:57:04]>> They talk about that.

[00:57:05]>> Bro, it's not going to work.

[00:57:06]>> They talk about the how heavy they said their broadsword was more of a bludgeoning instrument than like an actual thing to cut people up with. A heavy piece of steel that was like kind of like a butter knife that they'd be like, >> "Fucking smack it, dude."

[00:57:17]>> Oh, [ __ ] >> Yeah. What about uh Barbar Roa? When was Barbar Roa? And who was it? One dude just in the desert just ran straight into the water. They like got to an oasis and he got in the water and drowned. He was wear Yeah, they were wearing armor.

[00:57:31]>> Yeah, that sucks. I was >> And that chain mail didn't If something was like really sharp, it would just caught them. It would [ __ ] them up. Like it only if someone like went by and like nicked them, it would it would help them from that. But if they got like just hit with a [ __ ] sharp sword, it went right through it.

[00:57:44]>> Oh man, now I just want to watch Kingdom of He.

[00:57:46]>> Yeah, we should. That's not a bad preparation. But yeah, dude, the book so far has been really, really good. That's my favorite time period, dude.

[00:57:52]>> Yeah.

[00:57:53]>> 11, 12, 13, 14. It's So >> that's when it gets gay for me. The once you get into like the Renaissance and [ __ ] >> Well, for sure. But you know what's crazy though is like, holy [ __ ] you're telling me between 1400 and 1700, the amount of advancement was blind.

[00:58:07]>> Yeah, it was crazy.

[00:58:08]>> Between 14 and 1700 was insane.

[00:58:11]>> Yeah. And then think about now, >> dude. That's what I >> now is even now is ridiculous.

[00:58:16]>> That's what I got tripped up on. I was like, "Oh my god, that that's the exponential curve of like 1400s, 1700s, 21, whatever, you know, whatever [ __ ] year it is." I always embarrassingly forget.

[00:58:27]>> I've been on 2023 forever. I'm like, I sign everything 2023 and like, "Bro, it's 2022. Can you fix it?"

[00:58:31]>> Yeah, I'm I'm there too. I get confused by that. What is it, Sean?

[00:58:37]>> This said it was Barbar Roa who drowned and he uh >> It was Barbar Roa.

[00:58:40]>> He had such a long journey and then he ended up just drowning. He wanted a drink and he got in the water and he [ __ ] drown like a dumbass dude.

[00:58:47]>> He's like my dog Jack My dog Jackson will drown if you put him in the water.

[00:58:50]>> 1190.

[00:58:51]>> He'll go into the water and start to drown. He has to be safe.

[00:58:54]>> It was 1190.

[00:58:55]>> Was it the fourth crusade? What the hell was that? What was he doing down there?

[00:59:01]>> I'm not sure.

[00:59:03]>> Yeah. I wish I read more. The book long as [ __ ] dude.

[00:59:05]>> Yeah. I I got hit with guns and steel last night.

[00:59:09]>> Did you?

[00:59:09]>> Yeah. It's talking about the aboriges.

[00:59:12]What about them?

[00:59:13]>> They were they they were in the Stone Age.

[00:59:16]>> Were they really?

[00:59:17]>> Yeah, they were stuck in the Stone Age.

[00:59:19]>> Jesus Christ.

[00:59:20]>> When they were found, they were in the Stone Age.

[00:59:22]>> That stinks, man.

[00:59:24]>> Yeah.

[00:59:24]>> Especially when you're trying to preserve your land and stuff being in the stone age. It's I mean, yeah, you you've played enough like uh what what's that one game?

[00:59:31]>> Total War.

[00:59:31]>> Total War. It's like Yeah. If you if I'm in Stone Age and you're in Bronze Age, >> oh, world or uh Age of Empires. Age of >> Empire. So many advances. They hit you with so you're [ __ ] You're [ __ ] dude. We got cannons. We're sitting around here with pikeman.

[00:59:44]>> Yeah, someone that's what some say the definition of empire truly is is just having an advanced technology.

[00:59:49]>> Honey, did you just throw out those gummy bears?

[00:59:53]>> Jesus Christ.

[00:59:55]>> Guys, can we cut?

[00:59:57]>> Hold on a second. Just to hear like >> Damn, for that to be for that to be your Mel Gibson tape. Dude, if you got a Mel Gibson tape over gummy bear, >> did I just see you toss out some gummies?