The analysis correctly identifies that self-aware irony is often a poor substitute for a genuine creative vision when reviving classic intellectual properties. It highlights the growing disconnect between modern studio expectations and the earnest storytelling required to make such adaptations work.
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How We Felt About Masters of the Universe (2026)Added:
Heat. Heat.
[music] Heat. Heat.
[music] [music] >> [music] [music] >> Heat. Heat.
Hello everyone. I'm Captain Logan and it's time to find out how we felt about Masters of the Universe. I wish I had some kind of like reverb uh effect, but anyway, uh we've got we've got Jason next to me.
>> Yeah.
>> And we've got Austin the smiling day ghost.
>> It's true. Here we are born to be kings.
Uh, and we've resurrected Robert Wild from the dead. Hi, Robert.
>> Hey.
>> Hello.
>> How you doing, buddy? So, yeah, we've got a panel tonight for Masters of the Universe. Isn't that exciting? Uh, we put this together a [laughter] little a little last minute. Originally, tonight was just going to be me and Jason and, uh, maybe Connor. He does a lot of new movie reviews with us, but he wasn't available tonight. Uh, we were going to do a double feature. We're going to do this in Mandalorian, and we still haven't seen Mandalorian. I don't know if that's going to get reviewed on the channel. Uh, I did a poll to see if anybody cared about that and uh, the percentage was swayed pretty far in the positive category. Like, yeah, we might not care about that or want to actually watch it, but we want to hear you talk about it. So, we might try to still sneak it in. What's funny is since it's not performing great, I don't know how long it's going to actually last at the theater, which is which is kind of hilarious. Uh, but I'm sure I still got a week or two where there'll be some theater that's still playing that in like a, you know, nosebleleed screen some somewhere in the back. But, uh, it's crazy time alleyway [laughter] a Star Wars movie. You got to you got to walk all the way to the back of the building and you got to move some tape and uh you got to you got to get past that uh like like broken down uh uh like concession stand they've not used in five years. But anyway, uh it's great to see everybody. Thanks for joining us. If you're watching live, thanks for watching after the fact if you're doing that. We'll try to interact with live viewers as much as possible and you guys can help direct the conversation. Uh if you are so inclined, you can leave a super chat any dollar amount. That guarantees that we'll tackle uh any aspect of the movie you want us to tackle or you can just uh give us your opinion on the movie and we'll read that too. But we'll try to do some regular comments as well. And uh as we usually do, we're going to go round robin and give you sign flips and then we'll do some spoilers after that. Uh so Master of the Universe uh shockingly there are two of these now. And uh this is what 41 years after the original. We couldn't hit [laughter] we couldn't hit that anniversary. Uh it had to be had to be 41 years because what was that? 80 or no uh 39.
>> What am I talking about? 39 because it it'd be it'd be 80 other way around.
Yeah. the other direction. But >> maybe they should have given it another year.
>> Yeah, >> for other reasons, too.
>> I don't know that that would have helped it like box office wise or anything. No, >> no, not box office wise.
>> When the trailer for this dropped dropped, I was actually pleasantly surprised and thought uh there was some real potential with this. Uh it looked like it had an energy uh in the trailers anyway that I was uh not anticipating.
And uh it was kind of cool just how off the cartoon screen everything looked.
And so I was like not stoked for this or anything, but like mildly curious. I I'm not like a big He-Man guy. I did no like like research or extra watching going into this. Like I never did that with the material I've done on the original movie either. So I was like, why why break that streak? So I still know what I know with like the the very very little He-Man I've ever seen. So I guess I guess I'll just start with saying do we have anybody here that's like a He-Man person? because I know Austin's not like a a big Master of the Universe guy. Robert, did you grow up on this material? Have you ever seen an episode?
Do you know anything about Masters of the Universe?
>> Uh, very briefly, I I have seen this episode of the 2000's cartoon that I have VHS for forum um that 22 minutes and I don't think I watched this a lot because I don't remember anything about it, but I remember liking it. Um, so there was an action figure that I think came with this or I just happened to get both the same like birthday or whatever.
I don't know. But that was a great action figure and I thought this was cool. I also had a handme-down action figure from the original line that had like no accessories. The paint was all faded. It was just this weird scantily clad buff man, but I thought he was cool. Um, and then like said this I have I I had brief experience with this when I was a little kid and I've heard it's great. This is something I'd actually like to go back to and dive into. I'm obviously also familiar with the 87 movie, but outside of that, like no, I'm not a massive uh He-Man fan. I don't know this property super well. That that is basically the extent of my He-Man knowledge. Uh but yeah, like I said, I thought he was cool. You know, it had some brief experience with this franchise. So, [laughter] I was like, when you invited me for this, I was like, "Oh, no. Is he just like assuming that I'm like a massive fan of this property? I hope [laughter] this isn't >> No, but I was curious to I was curious to see what would wind up in your background." And I was I was completely expecting you to be like, I have this. I bought it today. I needed something in my background.
>> No, like I still have those two action figures. They're just in a tote somewhere. And I didn't have time to dig for those. But I knew where the tape was. So I had >> messaged me earlier today and was like, I'm expecting Robert to dress up like He-Man. And I was like, I think that'll get us struck down on YouTube personally. That's a little too scandaly.
>> Sure. I considered it. [laughter] Uh, I'm not going to say you should have like, but a part of me [laughter] wants to say you should have, but anyway. Uh, yeah. So, everybody keep that in mind as we go that we've got no afficionado with this material. And I mean, it's safe to say that there's not like a ton of those around. Like, there are still big fans of this material certainly. Uh, but the mean age I think uh of people that are uh He-Man fans or that grew up real hard with this is like 48, you know, like cuz I'm almost 42 and that was a little before my time. Uh like that show was already kind of out of re relevance uh by the time I was old enough to get into uh you know a lot of cartoons and Transformers was the same way. Uh but there's uh you know some properties like that that have stuck around uh in the cultural zeitgeist because we just kept making stuff in them and He-Man doesn't really have that as much. There there have been multiple uh Masters of Universe shows and things but nothing huge since the uh show that you just mentioned uh Robert which I've only seen the pilot for. I think it's like a four or five part pilot and I've seen that and it's might not be quite that long but it was sort of like Gargoyles where it was just several episodes. Uh and I thought it was dynamite and I I would be interested in watching through that show at some point. It's kind of like uh akin to the 2003 Ninja Turtles in that it's that material but played a lot straighter and handled a little more serious and taking some uh you know kind of story risks and being being willing to be more character- driven and all of that. Uh but you know obviously they they they did that like extension of the old He-Man show on Netflix that uh Kevin Smith did. So I mean like there and nobody liked that. So there there have been like some returns to it but by and large not a you know kind kind of a tough sell uh in in today's market and I think a lot of years and maybe decades too late and so even if this movie even if you really like this movie I I and the audience scores have been uh really solid for it while I I haven't really looked at uh what critics are saying. I doubt they're most of the critics are liking it. Um, but I it's, you know, box office is not great with it. I they spent too much on it. I don't think it was ever gonna do anything but break even if it could even do that. And I think it could be 100% on Rotten Tomatoes and we would it would still it would still have that problem.
Like it's just too late in the game now.
I I don't know how you'd advertise it. I like we're pretty well past the the big uh like Rise of 80s nostalgia. like there's some of that still there, but uh I don't know when when every when everybody that really likes a thing is in their mid-4s to to 50s, but you made a movie that would that would generally appeal more to like 12 year olds that aren't seeing it. That's that's a tough cell.
>> Yeah. I mean, I would say just from what I've heard that that Netflix Shirro show is probably the most popular >> Oh, that's true.
>> thing this property has had in years. I mean, at least my niece was a big fan of that when it was on. Um, but yeah, so I don't know in terms of marketing, before I even get into my thoughts, uh, I I think a mistake both this and the 87 film makes it what to just to what you were saying about marketing is just put He-Man in the title. Like that's what people know and recognize. Yeah, it's silly and everyone thinks it's goofy, but like people like at least in my opinion, I think people know He-Man.
They've at least heard of He-Man. Nobody knows what just Masters of the Universe is. It sounds like the most generic nothing title ever. I think that's a problem.
>> Makes sense for the movie they made.
>> That's what I was going to say. Yeah. Is they made a movie where thematically and character-wise it's all about positive masculinity. The title they they they gave it has nothing to do with that.
Like if like nobody knows what Masters of the Universe even means, right? Like >> Yeah. They're they're they're not even space travelers. Like I've never understood why why it's even really called that. Uh and it's Master of the Universe has never even really struck me as an especially ensemble property. Like it's really about that one guy and then he's got some friends that tag along.
Like it's not Masters of the Universe like the X-Men.
>> It's this guy. No, you're right. Put that in the And you still have Master of the Universe because that's what it was always called. But put He-Man on the title. And also, wouldn't you also do that to separate it from the old movie?
>> Exactly.
>> I was surprised by that even like from the beginning, >> you know, like when it was announced, I was like, why are they [clears throat] >> until we went into the theater, I thought it was called that >> really.
>> I Yeah. And I don't know why cuz I saw the trailers, but I went in into the movie expecting He-Man to show up in the in the title and and he didn't. And I was like, that's a mistake. And then I saw the movie they made and that was really a mistake.
>> Just put it really small like Teenage Mut Ninja Turtles.
>> Perfect.
>> E-Man and the Masters of the Universe.
Uh well, tonight I'd like to have so obviously we're we're doing a review of this because uh Master of the Universe I' I've always seen as a superhero property and uh I review all these things when they come out and even if it wasn't the movie they made is I is you know so much in that formula and taking a lot of cues from recent MCU and some other stuff I'll mention.
So that that's of course why why we're here instead of reviewing some uh some other things that are out right now. Uh big movie big summer for movies. Uh I'm we're pro you're probably going to see a lot fewer Captain Logan shows over the summer and a lot more of these uh which we're we're putting on Mondays uh in place Captain Logan show because there's a lot of stuff that I'm curious to see and that people want us to take a look at. Uh so that's kind of neat. I haven't had a year in a while where I wanted to see as many movies as I do this year.
Um, I just I just hope there there's some good ones.
>> Now, did you want to see this? Like, were you excited for this?
>> Well, like I said, I was I mean, I'm indifferent to the property.
>> Mhm.
>> Uh, just cuz it's a little too before my time. Um, well, and also I've never been a big sword and sorcery guy, so like even if this was huge when I was a kid, I don't know that I would have latched on to it.
>> But I was curious to see if they nailed it because I thought the trailers had real potential. Um, Robert, would you give us a brief synopsis or tell us what happens in Masters of the Universe, uh, parenthesis He-Man?
>> So, Masters of the Universe 2026 is about this little blonde kid named Adam.
He lives on planet Green Screen and then evil Skullface Man attacks and he has to go to Earth and then he has to find the sword to go back to planet green screen and save the universe. And that's the movie.
That's that's the gist of it.
>> So, Robert, you are so good at that that I'm going to start when you even for movies that you can't make it for, I'm going to start making you pre-record them. [laughter] >> That segment sometimes take 10 whole minutes and you come in here and you're like 30 seconds done.
>> He's like Mikey doing a joke.
>> Yeah, [laughter] that's a that's a whole other thing. Um, sorry. You're gonna derail us with that.
My my my eight-year-old almost eight-year-old Mikey >> is the most efficient joke teller you've ever heard. Like he will hear a joke like with with a whole story and a punchline uh that you've heard take three to four minutes to tell. He will tell it in 20 seconds and the punchline still lands and you realize how little of the rest of it you needed. And his timing is perfect. He's like he's like the best joke teller ever and he'll do five in a row in the time it t anyway.
Uh Robert, thank you for that efficient I'm I'm ruining it now because I'm wasting our time with this other thing.
Uh but but uh thank you for that efficient um synopsis. Austin, we'll let you go first, man. Uh tell us how you felt about Masters Masters of of of the universe universe un >> uh Well, I was indifferent to seeing it.
Do you have the power?
>> Uh, kind of. Not especially. Uh, no.
Then on Friday, I was like, I got nothing going on. Uh, for the next couple hours before a rewind, I'll go see this movie. I guess I got a free ticket.
And uh, my best thing is immediately 20 seconds in. Uh, the MGM logo uh was amazing.
Uh, that part was great. That's [laughter] such a copout. That's even worse than saying the music was good.
Like, >> no, the MGM logo with Battlecat instead of the lion is genuinely cool. I have to give that to them. Um, if I could give it something that's actually in the movie and not the logo, uh, I liked Man-at-Arms in the intro. I don't really like him outside of that, but I liked him in the opening. [gasps] Uh, and then my worst thing, uh, it's more spoilery, so I'll just say, uh, there's a song thing in the third act that I think really sucks and I was very annoyed about, but so I can actually talk about something. Uh, my worst thing is just there's a very clear divide between the script and what you're seeing on screen. And it becomes more and more noticeable as the movie goes on and uh gets more and more frustrating.
>> In what way? Like you think the the script is expecting a totally different look and uh and style and vibe or >> it's more that it's written like a robot chicken skit where everything is just look how stupid all of this material is.
Look how much it sucks. And the visuals are like, "Oh, the He-Man cartoon is cool. Let's properly adapt that."
>> Sure. So, it just doesn't fit.
>> So, you're saying the script has no reverence for the material and the visuals love the material.
>> Exactly.
And that would be my worst thing. Which, like I said, just as the movie goes along, frustrates me more and more where I'm more with it at the beginning.
Although, although [laughter] my like immediate reaction watching it is like, "Oh, wow. This MGM logo was cool." Followed by, you know, it's like smoke and the sword comes out and He-Man's talking over the movie and he's like, you know, back in the day they created the uh sword of power. Yep. They actually called it that. Isn't that weird? And I'm like, "Oh, okay."
So, uh, I'm not feeling this.
>> And we know how much >> I don't hate it. It's more just like >> that kind of thing.
>> It's not great.
>> Uh, so that we don't have, uh, too much of the talking in just this one room.
I'm gonna let Jason go next.
>> Okay.
>> And then we'll jump over to Robert. Go ahead.
>> Okay. I have a sign. There you go. Um, I was like, where's my sign? Um, so I'll just jump right into it. Um, my worst thing is it kept going and I haven't had this experience in a little bit.
>> No. What do you What do you mean by that? It kept going.
>> Did you get 15 minutes in the >> already? I was too. Sorry. What? What?
Austin, I missed that.
>> I said it kept going past the MGM logo.
I agree. [laughter] I'll I'll So, okay. I haven't had this experience with a movie in a really long time. Um, I was waiting for it to end and I haven't had that in a while. Um, it I it's the most bored I've been in a movie theater in a in a really long time. And >> did you have like a shing? God. Yeah.
But like worse because it I was bored and sick of it. So like um Oh man. Like all of the um like I I'm not even a big He-Man fan. But I was like, "Oh, this is going to get me into He-Man." No, it's just making fun of this property that I don't know anything about. So now I don't It ruins my experience with wanting to go and watch it. It's so silly.
>> No. [laughter] Like, well, yes, but like h um I got sick of that comedy really fast. Um >> What kind of comedy is it?
>> It uh it's the Thor movies, but like ramped up to 11. It's just MCU humor, but just like um I don't know, combined with more MCU humor to make the doubly MCU humor. Um, and uh, the thing that I just said was funnier than anything in that whole movie, and you guys didn't even laugh at it. Um, [laughter] see, that's why I didn't laugh.
>> Fisto. Isn't Fisto a funny name, Jason?
>> Um, [laughter] and like the it the movie doesn't look good. And um, we can we can talk about it, but uh, I didn't think it I I didn't think a single shot looked good. I I didn't have a shot where I was like, "Wow, this CG is awesome." I didn't have that ever.
>> Not even with Skeletor.
>> No. No.
>> Not even the close-up shot that's in the trailer that everybody went, "That looks so cool."
>> No. I didn't think that looked good in the trailer.
>> Oh, wow. Okay.
>> No. And here's the thing. My hopes were not high from the trailers. And I know you were like, "Oh, this might be good."
And the first trailer was all right. I thought >> to Austin, can I say this real quick? to Austin's point because the trailer is mostly the visuals. It looked like someone wanted to make it.
>> That That's true. Like the visuals look at least like He-Man. They just I don't think look good.
>> I do feel vindicated in thinking that there was a chance it might be good because there were at least artists that were happy to be there.
>> Sure. Yeah.
>> Like the things I thought had promise are in the movie.
>> There were people that were definitely happy to be there. I think.
>> Yeah.
>> Um I don't know. Um but yeah, I just I just wanted it to end.
>> Well, it's on the cast, too. It's not like everything feels miserable or anything.
>> Yeah, I'd say it's genu generally well cast with a major exception. But overall, like I would say it's >> But I think I wonder who he's talking about.
>> But I think even he was happy to be there. He >> was probably happy to still be getting work somehow.
>> Yeah. I um >> because he's a because that guy's a con man that somehow keeps getting Hollywood to cast him in things.
>> Well, no. Okay, that and Okay. Um [laughter] um I also was just from the beginning was sick of the main character. Um my best thing is um a couple weeks ago they did that um Los Angeles drone show. That was super cool.
>> Um >> Oh yeah.
>> Yeah. That was the best thing about that movie. [laughter] >> My favorite thing about that is cuz they, for those of you who don't know, is they they did like a big drone show where it's Skeletor's face in the sky.
>> Yeah.
>> And the first thing I could think of was just how many people don't know what He-Man is and just how [laughter] horrifying it would be to look up in the sky and have, you know, a big skeleton man [laughter] in the sky.
Um, [snorts] [clears throat] and I got >> We can't pretend like everyone's going to know what that is at this point.
Like, >> right, >> you can't call He-Man obscure, but the further into along you you get it, it is it is to some people, >> but that got a lot of people.
>> That got like a Guinness World Record and everything like that was that was pretty cool.
>> I'm not going to let you cop out though.
What is the best thing about the movie we watched?
>> I actually couldn't think of one.
>> Oh wow.
>> Not even the MGM logo.
>> Stop it with the MGM [laughter] logo.
>> But it's cool. Um, yeah, except I think >> I guess Okay. Okay. But this is the only thing I'm going to say about the stupid MGM logo since you won't get off this.
It It [laughter] is I'm just messing with it. It It is very silly that in a not to give away my sign flip or anything, but that in a movie like this, you get a logo at the start that spells out art for art's sake. And I'm like, I don't love that word being [laughter] on the screen right before I sit through this. and right after an Amazon logo.
>> Yeah.
>> Art for art's sake. I'm like, okay.
>> I think I disagree with Austin and I think um >> Fight him >> the only And I think uh Manatarmms >> hit him.
>> I think Man-at-Arms after the first 10 minutes was the only thing I could really latch on to like of everything.
Um he still wasn't great, but I just >> Yeah. like I I don't I don't mind I don't mind that actor so I'm you know everything else was so like I I was like I I don't want to see your face anymore but >> that your best thing even if you think it's mediocre you just say Idris Alba >> Idris Alas is I guess my best >> yeah besides that drone show that's >> the the most obvious possible casting but he does a good job like I didn't remember he was in this and as soon as he shows up I'm like somebody went we're making a thing that's sort of kind of a little bit like Thor I guess we must have Idris Alba in it like of course and he picks a lot of bad projects so he has arms >> it's a role he was born to play >> so [clears throat] yeah there's there's my sign flip if you didn't guess um I don't want to I okay I don't mean to be mean about it at all but I didn't enjoy it dig it. Yeah.
>> Now, we took Mikey.
>> We didn't. He He really liked it.
>> And Mike and And Mikey had a really good time with it. Well, because it's got Skeleton Man in it. Mikey loves skeletons. So, like right right away.
>> Skeletor is the best thing about He-Man.
>> Just going to be more from endeared to it >> in that show.
>> Yep. [laughter] >> Yeah. In that show. I I think it's important to get that asterisk in there, though.
>> I like what he looks like in this movie.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Me, too. Go ahead, Robert. I I would go as far as to say that Skeletor is like I feel like the most timeless thing from this project. Just to the end of time, I I think children will always like Skeletor. Uh he's just cool. Like visually speaking, I if you made a cutting out on us, Robert, we're losing Robert.
>> Oh, we might be losing everybody.
Austin, can you hear us?
It might be on our end.
>> Okay.
>> Uh, sorry everybody if you can still see and hear us. We're having a technical thing here. Okay, you guys back.
>> Yeah.
>> Okay, I hear you now.
>> I assumed it was just me that went out.
>> No, you guys both froze on us and it was probably something on my end. Oh, it's still happening.
I don't know what's going on.
>> Sorry everybody.
Hopefully they catch back up here.
Weird.
Uh, let us know if you can.
>> Hello.
[laughter] >> What's going on right now?
>> Possibly.
>> Okay, you guys are back now. Hopefully hopefully stay back.
>> Uh, if that happens again, I'll pause everything and hang up and call you guys back. But hopefully we'll get >> Amazon's taking us down or a certain cult leader.
>> Okay, great. Says it's Skeletor's Revenge.
>> So to your point, Robert, I I think there are people I I don't know what else you said because you cut out, but [laughter] to your point about kids will always like Skeletor. I'll go as far as to say I bet there are people who know what Skeletor is that couldn't tell you what the property is he's from.
>> Yeah, maybe. [snorts] Yeah. Like when when I saw the movie um there was a family sitting next to me and like the second he showed up like the kid in that family was like that's Skeletor and I'm like how do you know that? But [laughter] okay.
>> John John kid just cuz he has a skeleton for a face.
>> Uh John Mkelling just put in a two super chat and says best thing about the film.
Letto's face is not in it.
>> Not even in the marketing.
>> They purged him from the marketing of this movie.
>> Yeah. guys with your copout best things.
Uh Robert, let's let's get your sign flipped.
>> Well, for my signs, uh I've got green for Aquaman and red for Creed 2. There is a there's a connection here that you probably guess. Uh this is another one that didn't turn out great cuz Creed 2 is obviously the better film >> in this scenario, but oh well. Um, so [gasps] best thing, um, Cat joked about it earlier, but nobody said it. So, I'm going to say best thing is Brian May's contributions to the score. Um, I don't know how much was him or [laughter] >> Yep.
>> Well, I I don't know how much of it was Brian Mayer or not, but like there's just some guitar rip stuff that's really cool that I I enjoy. just work on the the song at the end, but like I'd say the score in general kind of has that through throughout.
>> It does. I I >> Sorry, I'll let you have your sign flipped. I didn't love it.
>> No, I didn't say I loved it.
>> Like best [laughter] thing about the movie?
>> Well, I found it distracting actually. I >> like I thought some of those riffs were cool like out of the context of the movie, but I also thought that it was trying too hard to sound like 80s synth.
Like look, it's based on an '8s thing, but like >> it's awkward cuz like it's not an '8s period piece. The that's that's not what that show sounded like. Why are we doing that?
>> Way too much. I feel like But >> anyway, sorry. We'll let Robert have his sign up for Go ahead, sir.
>> No, and I I didn't think the music like always fit the scene perfectly, but more often than not, I enjoyed it fine. Uh but um but also as far as characters go, like you said, I I think the cast for the most part is is fine. Um, Tio was probably the character I liked the most.
Just start to fetish. Like, she's not great at anything, but I thought she was fine. Um, and Euga I also enjoyed in the movie. I always like Euga. So, like that that that's for the most part what I enjoyed. Like, I don't know. I I'm getting the vibe that I probably enjoyed this movie more than you guys did. But like Austin said, um, with his because Austin, I Your worst thing was like just the comedy. Um, yeah, like >> from the opening that there was stuff that made me go, h, okay, we're we're doing that. Um, and there was so much comedy in this that took me out that I didn't enjoy. But what what I'll say my actual worst thing is it for me is just pacing. Um, like that [laughter] this movie as it is does not need to be 2 hours and 20 minutes. like um if you cut the movie >> it felt that long but I didn't actually check the kept going [laughter] >> like so I I I I certainly enjoyed this word that Jason did like I for me it had its moments um but it's way too long for for the type of movie they made. Um and if you if you just cut out all that comedy that doesn't work in tightening this up like I I would have enjoyed this considerably more. So, as it stands, I I'm going to flip red. I I'm not feeling it. I don't hate this or anything. Like, we all said, I'm kind of indifferent to this property. You know, it's not He-Man's not something I feel strongly about. Like, if He-Man fans love this movie, great. If they hate this movie, oh well. I don't have strong feelings on this movie or this property. Like I said, it had its moments. Like, there are parts where I thought it was fine.
Um, like I said, I didn't hate this movie or anything, but at the end of the day, like I I would never watch this again just on my own. It would depend on if somebody wanted to watch it with me.
But like I on its own, I'm never going to go back to this. And that's ultimately why I'm flipping red was just eh like that. There are too many stretches in the movie where I was bored or unimpressed or AMD was just taking me out and not vibing with it. But oh well.
Like said, I didn't hate it. It's just whatever.
>> Yeah. I I don't even realize that I'm flipping red. uh if I knew I was coming into this review when I saw it um until probably like halfway through. Like I said, it it like slowly bears me down until I eventually am sitting there and I'm like, I think this movie is just bad. I think it just didn't work out.
Cuz I agree, there is good stuff in it.
>> I think I had >> I I would go as far as to say that like with the movie they made, if you cut it down to two hours, depending on what you cut out, I might have flipped green.
like I might have actually recommended it. Um, but as it is, like eh, I think it's just mediocre, but if people love it, great. Like again, I I'm not mad about it or anything. That's just how I feel.
>> Uh, pros and cons. Guy just put in a $5 super chat. Yes, we did know this. Did you know the man at the gym who gave Adam advice is He-Man from the old movie? Yes.
>> Oh my god, >> that is that is dope.
>> We We will talk about that cameo. I have feelings. I have things to say about that.
>> [clears throat] >> There he is.
>> Look, there he [laughter] is.
>> There he is.
>> You know, you know what else is funny about making those red and green?
>> What's up?
>> You took a uh totally phoned in could have been anybody Dolph Lungren uh c performance for your green and for your red, you picked his only like Oscar worthy performance.
>> It's wonderful.
Uh, okay. So, >> I think this was an Oscar worthy performance.
>> Not not to be a contrarian or anything with what Jason and Austin are saying, but I had not not the complete reverse of what you guys were are talking about where you were you were with it at the start and then it kind of lost you as it went along. I I was not with it from the start. And some of it was that voice over that you guys were talking about at the beginning where I was just right away I was seeing it >> uh filling in for the standard modern kind of kind of uh copout uh safe trying to make everybody happy superhero.
>> I swear I'm not high.
>> And yeah, I forgot he said that. I >> And I was immensely fr Did you want to say something, Robert?
>> Yeah, just real quick. Um, just on that point, I wouldn't say I was like with it for the first half and then not in the back. For me, it was back and forth like the entire movie from the opening. Like I said, with those opening jokes, like with those opening jokes, I was just like, uh, like so that that like the whole movie I'm going back and forth of I'm kind of digging this and oh, that was bad. And, uh, I also just wanted to mention because of that super chat, um, my my other best thing actually would have been that Dolph Lungren cameo. I I really enjoyed that. I just didn't want to say that cuz I thought that might be considered a spoiler. So that's why I didn't mention that as my best thing.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Thanks.
>> That's all I want to say.
>> We'll talk about that. I'll I disagree.
I didn't like that at all. But what what I like No, that's fine. You can like that. I >> have civil war over this.
>> I did not like that. Uh but we we'll talk about it. Um >> Good Journey.
>> But as I So I don't want to say like I wasn't with it and then as it went along I liked it better because I didn't. I but and I was immensely frustrated with that first act because I had issues with how all the lore is presented initially, especially if they're well, not especially, but if they're going to go to Earth in the first place. I thought that was structurally just incorrect.
Uh, we'll talk about that. And then I I I thought his being on Earth ultimately was completely pointless. And I think there's way better ways to do that if you've got to do that. I'll throw out some suggestions with that later on. But my best thing is a is by is solidified by the third act. So I have to say I kind of like the end of it better than the beginning of it even though it's really lost me all the way up to that point. And so it's kind of more on paper stuff. It's like I didn't feel like you you earned the thing I like at the end and I wasn't like really with any of these characters and I I didn't I I felt like I was just watching a big studio production the whole time. I couldn't get wrapped up in a story. But um and a production is really at odds with itself in various ways. But when we get to the end uh my best thing is and it's weird I almost never say this message.
I I thought making a He-Man movie now in 2026 about what good masculinity is uh was great and the the the message was solid. Uh it's a it's a it's a good it's a good thing uh for for children. I I like that. Um, not to give any spoilers yet, but I like that it's about a protagonist who I like a like a a male um I what what is the word I'm looking for? Um, sorry, I can't think of the word. Um, but I but but I like that it's it's about a protagonist who uh like tries to talk things out before he just goes on the attack. And I he's he's not Oh, that's what it is. Like he looks macho, but he's not macho. Um, and it's about uh how a lot of men uh don't like like come off like they're just about using their fist. Uh, but in reality, they just don't know how to express themselves and so they're misunderstood.
Uh, and all of that like resonated and rang true to me, but it came too late.
And again, it was kind of all just on paper stuff. Uh but but I but I like I but I like that the message is uh you're and like this is a real Saturday morning kind of message but part of the movie wants to just be a Saturday morning cartoon show. There's another part that doesn't but if it had just leaned into that decided to be that movie. Uh it it's kind of neat that it's just, you know, Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday morning or after school special in that way. Uh where it where it says uh you know being a real man is all about only fighting when you have to. Uh and about uh being a protector and that's the only reason that you fight, but that's why you want to be a good warrior and all all of that I thought was great. Um worst thing I just spent longer on my best thing because like everybody else caught that with their best thing. So, um, and I'm I'm actually kind of kidding with the music thing because obviously music is a major part of of the production. But I always say that because traditionally that's considered a like professional criticism phauxpaw that like professional critics uh going all the way back like if if if all if the only positive thing you could say is the music was good, uh, you're like like you're you're not being honest. Like that's that's not So anyway, so I I always call that a copout. It's not it's not fair. It's not really, but anyway. Uh, and then >> professional critics are dumb.
[laughter] >> And then, yeah, well, I I don't I've never been one of those. I And that's and that's good. Uh my my worst thing uh is and and Austin spoke to this earlier is uh the obnoxious self-aware humor where the it visually will present a lot of things more or less like that cartoon show did and lean into the goofiness of it. Then uh everybody's got to in Eternia in the place where they are make fun of all the names and stuff and nobody's allowed to just have the name they have. They It's It's all got to be made up and named by somebody else and then they all look at each other and go, "My name is stupid."
I'm like, "Look at what you look like.
Like you already look like a goofy character. Why can't we just all have those names, play them as uh just like serious and endearing and like the tongue and cheek, the audience knows it's silly, but no one in that world knows it's silly. And like there's a there's a line you could there's kind of a needle you could thread with that where if you had an EIN character that had never been there and came over, like that person might think it was all silly, but if no one else at all there does, then it could maybe possibly work, you know, cuz then it's like worlds colliding. It's like there is a way to do that. But they they didn't do that and it was uh irritating just all the way through constantly. I like I wasn't I was surprised and I wasn't surprised they did it because like that that is the fill in for formula thing that we always do. But it's so weird, right, that it's uh like embracing all all the the silly cartoon stuff and not trying to be ultra serious. I I wanted them to pick a land because and I'll talk about this later, but I I could have really seen this being uh like a a little darker, you know, like let all the silly characters be there and and still be what they are, but like you know, Skeletor doesn't have to uh like have an evil villain laugh that goes on for five minutes and then everybody awkwardly looks at him and then he's he's like, don't do that stuff. Um, >> it should be camp before it's like ironic humor.
>> Like Skeletor laughing like slightly too long is fine. Don't stop and call it out.
>> Uh, my big example for it um is we constantly talk about Prince Adam as being like this really scrawny guy like he's Captain America at the beginning of First Avenger, but he's clearly just a really mus like muscly guy in just baggy clothes. Yeah. And they never stop and make fun of it. No. Like that's funny.
That's the type of humor that you do where it's like we get it. We understand why it's funny.
>> Uh but we don't have to stop and be like, "Wait a minute. You look pretty muscular under that pink shirt, Prince Adam."
>> Yeah. But because they're self-aware and they make fun of everything, that didn't work. Like in the movie they made, they actually needed him to be scrawny and then get big when he when he picked up the sword. Like they they needed it to be like Captain America: First Avenger and they didn't commit to that.
>> See, I'm fine with that because that's like the kind of comedy I wanted in this movie that I just wouldn't do.
>> Yeah, that's fair. I But I It also didn't seem like a comedic choice to me.
So like I can I can see a movie like I didn't even think of Austin. Like I could see a movie where that's played for comedy. I actually didn't think it was with this. I I kind of think they were hoping the audience wouldn't notice. It's weird. But that just plays more into like it's just kind of campy.
Like it's not like in your face. Look how funny this is. It just lets it play.
But I'm also in the camp that says that that He-Man doesn't look big enough. So if they were going to do that, they needed to to cast somebody that was even more ripped than him and then they could still do the baggy clothes thing. But like they that's why I feel like it's it's not played for humor cuz it's like they're splitting in the middle where they're trying to get a guy that's like not too big so you'll buy him as Adam but is big enough where you'll buy him as He-Man. I'M LIKE I'M NOT buying either of them. So like I don't understand.
>> Yeah. I think >> Okay. I I didn't have that but interesting.
>> I think they were just trying too hard to be funny and I feel like >> if they had just cut a lot of the jokes it would be funny anyway.
>> Okay. There's there's a problem with that though. Yeah, >> you have to completely restructure and reshoot most of the movie if you do that. Cuz if you cut all the jokes, no scene has an ending >> because every scene has has the the stupid late stage MCU MCU humor thing where we I stop every we undercut everything with a super awkward joke.
So, somebody mentioned this in the comments earlier. I and everybody looks looks around at each other and I you throw the protagonist under the bus where he looks like an idiot and then you move on to the next scene. And if you cut all of those, no scene has an ending.
>> Yep.
>> Um that's true.
>> It's the same reason.
>> I didn't want to rewatch this movie because I hate those endings to see.
Like it's actually like my biggest pet peeve in >> I sort of set my watch by them. I I could tell when it was about to happen.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. Um, >> can I actually I I can complain about the music to make Cap happy.
>> It's your best thing.
>> It's my best thing, but the music is part of that that joke problem where we're just so in tune now. Like you can hear the music ramp up and then it'll cut out and that's when the joke happens. Like that that's your first cue that oh, we're going to undercut this with the joke is you can hear the music ramp up and then it cuts out. That happens like five times at least in this movie.
>> Yeah, it keeps happening.
I last thing I'll say >> should have done a record scratch >> in my clip segment then we'll get into spoilers. Uh is it was from the very opening I was having Shazam vibes really hard and I couldn't get that out of my head the whole movie. I it it tonally it felt a lot like like that to me. uh especially with the kind of immature voice over uh and that that that took me out right away where it's like oh we're in eternity isn't they isn't that isn't that goofy and uh it was I know a lot of people are comparing this to Ragnarok one thing I will give it is it it does feel a lot like that uh both in some ways visually and with um with the humor but it at least has a script Like like the the jokes are bad, but they wrote them down. So like I'll give I'll give it that at least. Like I I I don't think a lot of that horrible awkward stuff is improvised.
>> No, but there is a big Ragnarok thing in the third act that was awful.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. I mean the tow there's like 10 or 15 movies this reminded me of. Uh mo most of which I'd say are better. Um, >> yeah. Which is why Oh, sorry. Go ahead, Robert.
>> Yeah, real quick. Sorry. Um, but like Ragnarok, in my opinion, I would say is a better looking movie than this in terms of sets and CGI, but that was also made in a different time. And I'm not going to I'm not going to give any of the VFX artists on this crap. It's just the current state of these kinds of blockbusters where we're just making too many of them. And >> we we say this every review we do now, but these effects artists are overworked and don't have enough time and money.
So, I'm not going to harp on the bad green screen and CGI too much cuz it's not their fault. Um, but >> that's all I just wanted to address that >> Hollywood thinks that it's trained us to be okay with shoddy CG that's not well integrated.
>> Uh, and that's where we're at now. And you're you're right, Robert. We don't have to have a massive discussion about that every time. That that is that is where we're at with it. Although I do want to use that opportunity to uh to have Austin talk about this because Austin and I were talking about the the budget of this uh where it is ostensively a $200 million movie and I'm not really seeing that on screen and it's nuts to throw that much money into like I don't think Power Breeders 2017 came close to that and I thought that came too late and even if it was great would not have have built a huge audience probably. But with but with this, it's like why would you put $200 million into a He-Man movie? I'm not even really seeing enough of it on screen. Although we have this with with MCU movies, too. Uh where it's like you put that much uh money into it, but the effects aren't super well integrated. Uh and then Austin had a terrific point about that uh which is maybe they this has been in development hell for so long uh that maybe some of the budget that's built into this is all of the times they've started and stopped before Yeah, because a lot of times if it's with the same studio, that stuff will be factored into the budget. Um, >> that's right. Superman Returns is like one of the most expensive.
>> Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Because it had to bite uh both flyby and uh lives.
>> Isn't that insane? And that was 10 years before that.
>> Yep. Yeah. Exactly. Uh but no, I so I had a certain point. So uh I'm not like a huge He-Man guy, but there's two things that I really like in He-Man.
It's Skeletor and it's Battlecat because tigers are awesome.
>> Yeah.
>> And at a certain point I'm like, "Oh, Battlecat's just like barely in this, I guess, as like a cost-saving measure." I didn't know the budget at the time. Uh I guess that's like a cost-saving measure.
He's, you know, big CGI guy. Uh or cat.
So, you know, we want to not have him on screen a ton. And then I realized, wait a minute, but we do have that stupid robot in this movie that didn't add anything. But wait, that's also like not in a ton of shots. So that's also barely in this movie. And that was where it kind of hit me like, oh, like there's no way this this actual movie cost $200 million. There's no way.
>> Yeah. I don't I don't see it.
>> So to your point that uh the third act is better than the rest of it, I think I agree with you, but I think I was so done with it.
>> I don't even know if I'm saying that.
I'm just saying that I found something to latch on to there and wished that the rest of the movie like had explored it better and that it was tighter and like like to Robert's point about pacing.
This thing is massively overwritten.
>> I actually in the third act uh can we just talk about spoilers now or >> let's be spoiler territory.
>> Okay. Um, the third act hit me like a hammer cuz it's like [laughter] we stop and it's we do the you're not the god of hammers, he man. The power was in you the whole time.
>> And then he comes back up and he gets his big Superman speech from the end of uh the new Superman movie uh where he talks to Skeletor and I was like this is just corporate slop. Like this is just there is no heart to this movie. There is no through line that I think fully connects it. It's just here are things that have been in movies in the last 10 years. Slap them together and call it a day. It's our product.
>> I completely agree with you. I just found something out of mind. Like I think that's entirely on like like I said on on paper. I don't think the execution is anything.
>> Yeah. And I'm not criticizing you for liking that. That was just like my experience in the theater where that was a big >> I like this an idea [laughter] like >> now that now that we have the spoilers uh the only thing I laughed at was Skeletor in a hoodie.
>> That was his Adidas jumpsuit.
>> Literally the only thing because I was like >> the context of it was stupid but like the the image was fun.
>> That's funny. This is so stupid. I want to leave. [laughter] Um, but >> they should have put him uh cuz they do it in threes where it's like the gym thing, the date, and uh the HR office.
The date one should have had him in the dress that woman was wearing. What were what were we doing?
>> Oh, yeah. That that's a missed opportunity.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. Um to Austin's point, yeah, that scene, it's Thor Ragnarok, it's Wonder Woman. Like we've seen this before. Um there's so there are so many movies. Uh >> Wow. I didn't even think to compare this to Wonder Woman 84, but it's overwritten and bloated in that way.
>> I agree. I was just talking more about the sword thing and the powers.
>> No, I I know. But you made me think of that.
>> Sure.
>> When I >> Oh, yeah. totally.
>> While I was watching it, I had >> the Lord speech.
>> Sure.
>> But anyway, >> while I was have While I was watching it, I had 2000's Fantastic 4 like the entire time. Um, in the same >> That's interesting. I didn't have that.
>> Like in the same way like especially >> I have nightmares about that bridge scene.
>> Um, [laughter] it's actually one of the worst scenes in anything and I don't want to watch [laughter] that movie ever again. And I had the same thing with this movie a lot of times. [laughter] So who would who would Skeletor be in that scene when he gives you that nightmare vision? twice putting the ring on the ground. [laughter] >> Yes.
>> That's one of the worst moments in anything superhero movies, [laughter] but anything >> anything. It's like that but everywhere >> all over. [laughter] [snorts] >> Um, okay. Let if you guys are cool with that, I want to I want to get my my my big like suggestion of how to restructure this out of the way and then we can talk about all the >> Sorry. Can I expand Can I expand on something just before I forget?
>> Oh, yeah, sure. No problem.
>> My train of thought.
>> Well, to your point, like you said, I I like the stuff about like positive masculinity. It's like if you took Captain America from First Avenger and put him in the Thor movie in that plot.
>> Yeah.
>> Um which I think is kind of an interesting >> mashup. Um, I just wish we did got to dive more into it. It's like again, if you just want this to be a jokey fun cartoon, that's great, but then don't make it two hours and 20 minutes. And if it is two hours and 20 minutes, then the themes and interesting ideas like it expand on that stuff more. Not not the comedy. Like, >> you can't make fun of Fisto's name. You can't make fun of mechaniti walks in and he names all the Transformers.
That was the thing I said walking out of the theater. I was like, imagine if Transformers was like, [laughter] "You're Bumblebee." Like, what? Like the insect? That's weird. [laughter] >> Well, yeah, but like like I'm imagining it even worse than that. I'm imagining you have to have a character that comes in to like jokingly give all the characters their names and then the the characters for no good reason at all are now saddled with those names and apparently did not have their own names.
>> Yes.
What are we dealing with?
>> Say like that's not my name. MY NAME [laughter] IS THIS.
>> YEAH. NOBODY EVER does that. And then and then the joke with Hila is just she has like a more normal sounding name. So she doesn't have one of those until the end. And that's one of the most horrible things >> that I've that I that I can imagine someone writing writing down her script.
I can't even believe it. That whole scene is >> Yeah. No, there's as much lateage DC EU in this as there is latestage uh MCU for sure. But that makes sense because latestage DC EU was kind of trying its hand at appealing to MCU fans uh with it with its crap comedy. So yeah.
>> Well, and uh I was talking to Austin about this earlier with the naming thing. I mean, I I think there's a way to make that work. Uh, but if you play it, but you have to play it in a more endearing way, like he's, you know, taken away from this place when he's a little kid. This is how he remembers him. Maybe you could have done a thing where like his memory of Eternia as a child looks more like the '8s cartoon and like there's more of a contrast how it looks now. I'm not saying I would have done that. I'm just saying I just don't like the way it was executed.
That's the idea.
>> Sure.
>> Where Fisto is like, I'm Fisto. I fist people. And Adam's like, uh, I've been on Earth for the last 20 years. And then you but that's the only moment you have.
You don't have to keep doing it.
>> Okay. Uh now that you said that uh Robert cuz that that is part of my whole thing my my whole my whole idea with this I so let me let me get into the first act thing. So I first of all if you're going to go to earth at all in my opinion you don't introduce Eternia in the first 10 seconds.
>> You you build to it. you ramp to that.
>> I because part partly because >> the big problem with the 87 movie I mean has a lot of problems but one of the big problems with the 87 movie is I they had such little budget to do Eternia stuff that they got it out of the way in the first 10 minutes and then like you go back to it with Skeletor at the end but like the bulk of the movie you're just walking around on Earth and it's boring.
Uh, with this we open again on Eternia with a big battle just like the 87 movie and then we go to Earth and like we're going to go back to Eternity Eternia for most of the movie. So, I mean obviously that's an improvement. Like I'm I'm glad that we don't spend the whole time on Earth. I'm glad it's not the the first Thor movie again. Um because that's like the 87 movie and and Thor kind of have that in common. I to some degree anyway.
um is is obviously better with Thor, but anyway, I if you're going to do Earth at all, I would I would start on Earth and I would introduce us to uh Adam as having lived like like Azarai is in character. He's used to being on Earth and he either doesn't and I I can't believe I'm saying this over what they did. I would actually advocate for amnesia and I usually don't like that.
But I think in this case it would have actually been better. Um but that's not what I would have wanted them to do. I actually think with the movie they made there's no reason to go to Earth at all.
Like just don't even have it. Just stay in Eternity the entire time. Like why not? Um, but with this whole idea of he's uh like drawing pictures of the people he knew on on Eternia, uh why not have him show up on Earth, start telling people about Eternia and everybody thinks he's crazy and he starts to develop this complex where he knows that he has to you do kind of a mental health thing with it where he has to bury uh his uh his feelings and the the the things he knows to be true because no one will accept it. And you don't have to throw him in a mental institution or do therapy or any of that stuff necessarily. It's just the the adults in his life tell him he's wrong all the time and he starts to believe it.
>> And as time goes on, so he's he's like he's like like drawing pictures and he's he's like maybe like making little comics and things. Uh, and over time he starts to uh believe to wonder and then maybe even believe that uh all of that was just in his head and that the first 10 years of his life didn't even happen.
And uh he's of course shocked later on to discover that it's actually real and he's got to kind of reset his mind about it. But to Robert's point, to Robert's idea, uh he also remembers it with this rose tinted glasses kind of thing and it's all uh happier and simple and the good guys always win and the bad guys always lose. And it isn't like the movie we got where Skeletor is just one-dimensional and evil because he's evil. And why the hell did the movie have to spell that out? Like why why do we have to talk about that? Just do it.
Um oh, he's evil cuz he has a SKELETON BASE. YEAH, I KNOW. I could I could read that. like like just do it. YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK about it. But anyway, um what what if he imagines it as the 80s show was, but you do the meta thing and you actually have him make the TV show and like let the let the cartoon show be uh in in the real world and he becomes like this famous cartoonist and He-Man becomes like a like a real show. And I would do it as a period piece. I would leave it in the 80s. And he ends up finding the real sword thinking it's like a it's like a fake plastic sword.
And he goes back to Eternia and you in a weird way you do it like a Galaxy Quest thing only almost like sort of in reverse was like it turns out all these things are real. And I would also play it a little bit like Hook like that. That would that would be the the movie to really look at with this is you you open it with uh like he's an adult now. He's put all that in behind him. Uh even though it's kind of like his, you know, his life now. And the way it would work with the masculinity message is he's in his cartoon show, you know, made made that show all about uh like brute force and like you win because you have the sword and it gives you the power.
And then he ironically goes back to Eternia to find out that it's more complicated than that. I if you if you got to have the Earth thing and and like I would do it I would do something like that and the the only reason I'm suggesting the meta thing because I don't think that's the best movie to make. I think the best movie to make is just do the Eternia stuff endearing and either lean into the camp or make it real serious. And I think you could do it either direction, but this idea would let you have both. And that could be really cool where he goes back to attorney. He's like, "This is actually really scary." Like like like this this play this place is uh is is like terrifying. Um versus the TV show I made. And I just I just think that that could have potentially [clears throat] been really cool.
And I'm also suggesting that because the marketing with this movie was all about 80s nostalgia, but the movie they made, it doesn't really make sense to to lean into it that way. Like the the initial marketing was all like here is the like8s He-Man toys and things like that.
So I already thought there was maybe going to be a meta component to it. And so I couldn't stop thinking about how you could make a meta component work.
>> Yeah. Well, it's really weird with just how we bring back the sword and like what it's used for in that stat in that not He-Man thing. I was very confused by the context of all that. But >> me too. And imagine if that was actually a He-Man statue.
>> Yeah.
>> Like it could have been really cool. And that leads me to my Dolph Lungren thing.
Uh part of why I don't like that cameo.
um like like a lot of it is just uh the writing of it is uh is so contrived. It's like there's no reason that he would say good journey except he was in that movie and that's what the guy said in that movie. Like you you couldn't you couldn't come up with a with a way to contrive it where it would make sense that he says that. I don't know. I I I hate stuff like that.
picture Lungren saying that just normally.
>> It's my No, it I I think if anyone else said it in the movie outside of that scene, I'd agree with you, but as it is, I think it's fine. It's just a thing that character says, >> bro, I can I can see that.
>> Um, that's fine. I just respectfully I disagree. I don't think it works at all.
And I've seen that that that cameo too many times. I like like that. That's that's what we often do with that kind of cameo. And then and I and I don't like the way that they try to make it real relevant uh to the to the third act and having the thing he says come back with the like uh you have to back yourself up. I don't even know what is uh what I don't even know what he's talking about. Like I don't I don't know what his advice is. Like I'm very confused by all that. The the the bigger reason that that cameo irked me though is immediately after it he goes to find the sword and let's and let's remind ourselves that that's all super contrived too. So for 15 years he's been wondering where the sword is. And the way it plays this probably isn't true but it plays like he just picked today to finally like get online and like ask people about it and he just gets pinged and there you go. Like there's no there's no searching for it. There's there's no like there's no quest. It's just uh the script needs him to find it today. So, somebody send him a picture and there it is. Um and so he goes to this comic shop and the way it's filmed, it's like there's going to be a big character reveal or something. It's like it's like uh you're never going to believe who's going to give him the sword. Like that's the way it watches.
And then like it's just some dying.
>> I had no idea how scared I was going to be Pat Oswald. Oh my god. [laughter] Well, at least it wasn't that. But if you're gonna do that, why not contrive some way to make it Dolph London that gives him the sword? Like that's your that's your perfect Dolph Dolph Lungren's cameo.
>> Let him give him the sword. He's the He's the He's the original He-Man.
>> Dude, now I wish it was Patton Oswald.
That would have made it so much better.
>> I would have walked out.
>> I know you would.
>> I would have walked out. Also, we were >> we were in different seats in the theater.
>> Yeah. Even though the movie is apparently bombing, our theater was packed and I had to there were only two seats you could get together. So, Jason and uh Mikey had to sit close to the front and I had to sit way in the back by myself.
>> So, if I didn't even know what their experience was until >> I didn't know what my dad's experience was. I could guess what his experience was while watching it.
>> You probably figured I was falling asleep, right? Um, no. I figured you were like screaming at it in your head.
Well, Pat Oswald didn't show up.
>> No, but I now I wish that it did just to like see you.
>> He could have been Orco in the sequel if it made money. [laughter] >> Um, R.J. Godzilla did say that the statue that the sword is in is based on the original design for He-Man. So, like that's a cool Easter egg. I I still wish I understood the context of the scene more.
>> It's so weird that the >> At first I thought it was all plastic and it was like just somebody took that sword and like made a thing out of it adventure. That would have made more sense cuz I was like how does this like is this statue something and they just put the sword on it? Did they make this?
>> It's very confusing.
>> The text that he get that he gets is I have the sword. You can have it for $300. He goes there. He asks everyone about the sword. The guy that texted him, walks up to him, is irritated with him for doing that, does not ask for money, nor is he handed money, says there's the sword, walks off. Is he just a customer that knows where it where it is? Is he the owner of the store? I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING.
>> We can't be because we see the employee.
>> It seemed to be this big >> at the end of that scene cuz Oh, sorry.
Go ahead, Jason. Go ahead. It seemed to be this big reveal, but it was like, "Oh, I wonder who's gonna give him the sword." And then it's just this random guy.
>> See, imagine if it was if it's Dolph London like up in the mountains somewhere in like the Amazon and he's got to like get in an airplane to go to to like to like fly it again and he's like killing Big Game with the sword and like when he gives when Dolph Lungren gives him the sword, it's got blood on it. Like so many cooler ways to give Dolph Lungren a cameo in this.
>> Dr. McNeil.
>> Hey, nobody would have gotten that.
[laughter] >> Uh, but the end of that scene has like a hardcore, oh, they probably shot 20 jokes and just picked the one they liked the most.
>> Yeah.
>> Where that store clerk is watching him take the sword and then it cuts back to her and she's like, are you single? I'm like, yeah, they they shot like 40 of those.
>> Yeah, I think they're rough.
>> So, uh, logical questions. We learn at the end like the This script is, it goes without saying, real messy. And it's more of a mess than I even realized watching it because when I started thinking about it, I I was like, I don't know. It kind of felt like I was watching a first draft, but it's it's more like a like a 1.5 draft where like you change some stuff at the end, but you forgot to make it match at the beginning.
>> It's also so pained by numbers.
>> You're watching six first drafts.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Uh, so we find out at the end, I have a lot of questions about this, that the the power was in him all along and that the sword is actually worthless and doesn't do anything. Okay, but the sword is what summoned the monster from Eternia to show up on Earth. So, I guess it does that. So, like that's kind of weird.
Well, I think Skeletor sent Beast Man because when Tila shows up, when Tila shows up, she's got like a real throwaway line like the sword like called out into the ether and like sent out a message, but even then like >> Yeah. Why did the sword do that if it's in He-Man?
>> Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like like So, >> okay. So, I thought you me like it literally like teleported in there.
Okay.
>> No, no, no. No. The point is he holds it up and uh the like like somebody from Eternius senses it or something and shows up there and I'm like why does it have any magical properties if it doesn't do what we thought it did? And is that unless the idea is that's the only reason that the sorceress or whatever her name is uh by the way completely miscast uh with with with Brock but whatever. Um the unless that was the only reason that she insisted that He-Man not lose the sword was just because it still had a connection back to Eternia so he could kind of use it to get back. Like is that the only reason it mattered? Because I kept thinking when when we find out that the sword doesn't actually give him his power, I was like then why was it you were the one that told him not to lose it and then you're the one saying it doesn't do anything.
>> Yeah. I don't know why the sword doesn't bring him back and so it's so he has to go in the spaceship to go there. Like I I never I didn't understand why the enchantress was like >> so we can have like a Thor Ragnarok spaceship shot.
>> Yeah, but the Enchantress was like, "Oh, you need that to get back home." But why?
>> And also >> I guess just cuz it I that maybe makes enough sense where like it calls back to Eternia, but it's just awkward because it's like that's all it does. It's it's a beacon and that and that's it. Okay.
>> I am really glad >> that he didn't find a sword that was actually not the real sword and then he had to actually find the real >> Oh, yeah. I thought that might happen.
>> I really thought that was going to happen.
>> Sure.
>> But there's also like there there's kind of no sequel you could make to this because I there there'd be no fearing for this guy's life ever. He's completely immortal.
like he gets stabbed in the chest and then the sorceress lady shows up and is like, "Uh, oh, the power's not the sword. The power isn't you." So then he just magically is not dead. Pulls the sword back together and kill Skeletor.
I'm like, "Okay, so nothing can kill this man. Nothing. He'll always come back. Do anything to him and he just die of the power and he's back."
>> But we'll also have Shira Cap.
>> Oh, okay. Well, >> who also won't be able to be killed.
[laughter] >> Sorry, what? that who also won't be able to be killed.
>> Or is it we Oh, sorry. Go ahead.
>> Oh, sorry. It isn't weird how little screen time He-Man's mom gets? Like, she might as well be killed in the opening.
Like, she [laughter] they have like one hug when they reunite.
>> I was so confused when they came back.
>> Yeah.
>> Also, but then she's barely in the movie. Like I said, they have like one hug when they reconcile. But I feel like that should be more [laughter] the heart of the movie is anything. They do that constantly in this cuz because I had the same thing with uh Man at Arms where like they they play it real paid by numbers like oh he's going to die at the beginning and then when he comes back later I was like I oh I thought you were trying to make or did they show that he was still alive? I can't remember.
>> They do show but for like a second I was like I haven't really followed the marketing like are they about to just kill off man at arms in the opening.
>> Yeah. Uh but then they do have like a shot where they get he gets pulled out.
So okay, they do show him live.
>> Well, I I I rescend that point then. But yeah.
>> Uh but with the parent thing, uh He-Man kills his dad and it's just never I never addressed. And it's so weird because the way it should play is that He-Man messes up his power shootout and then Skeletor kills his dad, but it's not He-Man kills his dad and it's very awkward. I don't know why. I missed that.
>> Yeah. So, Evil Lynn like freezes He-Man and then he like breaks out and it shoots out lightning which hits the wall and the roof collapses on his dad and it kills him.
>> Yeah.
>> How that should happen if you want the like He-Man can't control his powers thing is like he it shoots out misses and Skeletor is like haha and then kills his dad.
It's so weird because they never talk about it again.
>> Or have Skeletor Yeah. Yeah. Or just have Skeletor make He-Man feel bad about it like you killed your dad.
>> Talk about it. Yeah. Like you killed your dad.
>> Now, I will say the speech he has just before he dies is for me. And you guys might not agree with this. That's okay.
But but that was the only dramatic scene that really worked for me. And I to be fair, it somewhat resonated with me just because of some of my own sensibilities because the writing with that is really Fred Rogers. Like it's really people can like you for who you are. And the idea that his dad uh made him think that he had because like a lot of boys with their fathers have this that he he makes him think that he's supposed to be someone totally different from from who he is and his father will not accept him for who he is. and ultimately it was just I was trying to protect you and I didn't know how. Again, on paper that's really good.
>> So, it didn't for me, but it's part of my issue with Man-at-Arms where he's a completely different character and sometimes we'll flip back to what he is at the beginning, which is just flip that opening scene. Like the way it plays is his dad does not like him and is very disappointed with his son, but Maned Arms is like, "Keep your chin up, kid." like it's so it's okay. And then >> when we then get back to Man- at Arms, Prince Adam's like, "Oh yeah, you bullied me a lot as a kid." And I'm like, "That's not at all what your opening was."
>> I'm so glad you brought that up.
>> That's it's completely different. And just every now and then he will sometimes be like, "Oh, you know, I told you you know this when you were a kid."
Uh, and it's like, "Okay, so we're kind of remembering that, but we still constantly talk about it as like, yeah, you just bullied me as a kid. That's all you ever did, man." And then when he finally meets his dad, his dad talks as if he was Man- at Arms in the opening and Man-at-Arms was the dad. And I'm like, I don't know how this gets lost in translation where these two characters completely flip. Uh but it's >> baffling.
>> It's cuz it's like five first drafts all in one.
>> Exactly. And that was part of that like there are different versions of the script that somehow parts of it made it in. No, Austin, I have to completely forget the rest of the movie to like that [laughter] bit.
>> Yeah, like that's fine. Liking it in a vacuum. Yeah. Yeah. Uh it was just that took me out of it. Like I couldn't even focus on what he was saying.
>> Most of the writing I think is kind of horrendous in this. So like just the words on the page in that scene were acceptable to me.
>> Yeah. Also, Evil Lynn has like the least effective freezing powers I've ever seen in any movie ever. Like when He-Man breaks out of it, you're like, "Okay, I guess that makes sense." And then she does the same thing to Tila at the end and then Tila breaks out of it. I'm like, "Oh, so that was easy." And I think a lot of the action sequences are mostly fine. There's just awkward blocking. There's there's a number of action sequences where other characters are just standing around doing nothing for no good reason. That happens a lot.
Like at the end, Tila and Evil Lynn fight for like 5 seconds and then they just stop fighting when He-Man and Skeletor are fighting and then that goes on for like 15 minutes. It's really weird. and the two CGI characters uh fight for a second and then are completely offcreen so we don't have to animate them because there's no way this costs $200 million and for a second we cut back to them is like a stop like what just happened moment.
>> So you know >> I will say I I actually >> if if you're if you're right it's possible that it's already made its money back.
>> No no it hasn't. No, I think it is $200 million, but it's $200 million cuz it's like What I'm saying is the actual money that on the film we saw, they might have already made that money back.
>> They might have only spent $50 million on the movie that we that we saw. That's that's what I'm saying.
>> Possible.
>> Yeah. I don't know. I also We haven't mentioned Allison B yet. I actually like paybody any money to be in this.
>> I'm sorry. What? [laughter] Uh, no. I was just saying I liked Alison Bri. I thought she had the right campy performance.
>> She knew the assignment. She's like spot on. Correct. Yeah.
>> I don't know who that is.
>> She's evil. She's evil in >> Yeah. She had more screen time.
>> Sure.
>> Yeah. And I mean, this movie has Era Selva. Like there's some big names in it. [laughter] >> J Leto, who's in every big movie ever now.
>> No, listen to me though. Sure. That's a name we know and he's in a lot of stuff.
I don't know that he commands a lot of money. Like I don't I don't I don't know if that's an expensive get.
>> You look at some of the stuff he's been in and like he's he he he does a lot of he's he's in a lot of product.
>> Well, that's all they spent their money on.
>> Maybe. Um >> we got Kristen Wig to voice that robot that doesn't need to be in this movie >> at all. Wasted time.
>> Uh there's a lot of wasted time in this.
>> This movie has four writing credits.
>> I'm surprised nine actually.
Um, let me read the super chat and then I we'll get back to a couple other big things we haven't talked about yet. Pros and cons guy, $10 super chat, not counting his roommate. Thanks for the support. Does everyone who knew Adam think he disappeared off the face of the earth? Like the people at his job, the end never says he's still living on Earth. No, he just brings his coworker to Eternia with him for no reason.
>> His roommate.
>> His roommate.
>> He was fired though. His roommate.
That's the worst performance in a while.
>> I didn't like it.
>> I I'm really sorry to that guy.
>> Would have been Taoiti in that [laughter] role if it was him making it.
>> Yeah.
>> Uh well, let's get the obligatory Skeletor conversation out of the way. I here's what here's what I think. I think there was a easy easy lob that Jared Leto could have taken and run with with this that would have endeared some people to him finally for the first time in a long time. Now, not any of us, but uh because like like the bar with his career was so low that I think all he seriously this is the easiest bunt in the history of acting. Okay. If he had just committed to the high-pitched Skeletor voice, a lot of people, oh my god, Jared Leto, like we like him now.
He at least committed to the It would have been like the like the going with the real Sonic look thing where like that movie is not good, but people liked it because it looked like Sonic. I'm telling you, all he had to do was that high-pitched Skeletor voice and people would like Jared Leto again. That's all he had to do.
>> People are somehow liking him in this movie. I don't understand how, but he is like a high praised thing.
>> I guess they like villains where you can't understand half his dialogue.
>> He mumbles half of >> what the hell he's saying half the time.
His voice is 100% just somebody trying to do an impression of both Bane and Rises and Voldemort like simultaneously from memory having at the same time having not seen either in probably 10 years and he's mumbling in that voice.
[laughter] >> Anyone can do a Skeletor like it's one of the easiest voices to to to re to redo and I don't know if >> Yeah. And like I don't know like why is that voice too silly? But like >> it's not too silly for >> put him in like an ad an Adidas outfit.
Like that's not going too far. I don't know.
>> Well, and that would have worked better if he was doing that voice.
>> Yeah. It's also the >> And there's lions that like I can hear in the Skeletor voice and I'm like, "Oh, that kind of >> Well, yeah, cuz he's insulting people the way Skeletor did in that in that show. Like they're going out of their way to do that kind of dialogue for him, but they won't let him do the voice."
So, all I can figure, one of two things happened. Uh, and I could see either of these being plausible. One of them is the director or some producer said, "No, that voice is too far, Jared Leto. Don't don't do that voice." The more likely thing to me is that Letto is trying to make it his own. And I guarantee you if Leto got to pick the look of Skeletor, it [laughter] wouldn't look anything like Skeletor.
>> That is true.
>> He did attempt a Skeletor laugh. It just sounds more like Voldemort, but like it's kind of in the same vein.
>> It's also It's just It's the fact >> cares if he's not doing the voice.
>> It's the fact that he's not >> No, I know, but like he [laughter] attempted >> he's not even consistent about the voice. He chose a voice that's not that voice and ran with that.
>> That's what's so weird about it is he actually commits to what he did and never changes it.
>> But it's not that voice at all. No, I just kept thinking of uh there's I'm sorry for this in advance, but uh there's a Nostalgia Critic bit, like an old He-Man Christmas special where it's Skeletor and he uh Hordach teaming up and Hordach like mumbles all of his dialogue and it's hard to understand what he's saying and it cuts back to Skeletor and he's like, "Enunciate. I have no lips and yet I can annunciate."
[laughter] That's all I could think of when Skeletor was speaking. I'm like CA Letto [laughter] I can understand what you're saying.
>> Danverse says [snorts] I can understand Letto just fine and with respect. I don't I don't want to be mean or anything but I don't believe you.
>> I I I say the dialogue was like 50/50 for me. Whatever that was the time.
>> Can Can I Can I talk about Let for a minute? [laughter] I I I [gasps] I I I want to take people back over 10 years to the before Suicide Squad time.
There's kids watching that don't remember such an era, but I I remember before Suicide Squad came out and before like the photos came out when we knew what Joker would look like. It's cool to remember like I actually there was a time when I liked Jared Leto as an actor. Like I liked him and things. He just won an Oscar. When he was cast as the Joker, people were excited. Yeah.
>> Like that seemed like great casting.
>> Yeah. But he fell off a cliff right after that >> and it was the worst thing ever. And he's never he's never been back on the cliff ever since then. It's just bad one bad decision after another.
>> He doesn't the same country that has the cliff.
>> Hey, like so his Joker is horrible. And then his MorbiiUs is just a nothing performance. This is like somewhere between nothing and horrible. Um I I don't think I hated his performance as much as you guys did, but like it it didn't work for me. I didn't like the voice he did. Um and I don't know. I feel like just visually speaking, if you took the way and on paper, you like you take the way Skeletor looks in this movie and how he's written and pair it with Franklin's performance from the original movie, just mash those things together and you'd have like the definitive onscreen Skeletor, like the perfect cinematic Skeletor, but we don't have that.
>> I would agree with that. I feel like with this, again, visually they're doing a good job of making that more or less look like that cartoon show. I think if you don't do that voice, it's just wrong. Like, why is that the one big thing you changed?
Like, in this movie, it has to be that high pitch voice or it's not it's not right.
>> Yeah.
So, like said, like I I don't think I hated his performance as much as you guys did, but like it didn't work and like I didn't like the voice. So, and then who know like I have I have no clue how much of this was Letto on set or was just a voice in post and we may never know because there is no behind the scenes footage with Letto or interviews with him to promote this movie.
>> When I could hear him, there were some things that he was doing with like, you know, voice modulating and just be like pontificating and stuff that I thought was like fine voice acting. I just didn't like the voice he picked and I didn't I didn't like >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.
But uh Yeah. I If you're going to do Skeletor, give me actual Skeletor cuz he's the best thing in that cartoon.
>> Austin, what was that uh song thing you were talking about in the third act?
>> Oh, yes. Uh [laughter] so, okay. So, in the third act, uh, or I guess it's like what transitions the second to the third, it's when they're in prison and the gates come down and they're escaping and it starts blasting, uh, Princess of the Universe, which is one of my favorite Queen songs and was made for the movie Highlander. So, kind of initially I'm like, "Oh, I wouldn't have gone to that." A, you only went to it because it's something of the universe.
>> Yep.
>> But b, like it's so connected to Highlander, which is such like a cult thing. I don't know. Like I I feel like I just wouldn't go to that song in general.
>> Highlander reference >> and Yeah. And they had a Highlander reference earlier on and then we immediately undercut it because they walk out and it's like a cool actiony, you know, walking shot. And then they're all like, "Oh, there's smoke." [cough] And then the song starts blasting again.
I'm like, "Yeah, no. Just >> it's ruined.
>> This is horrendous. Like, you need to stop." [laughter] I I will give the movie credit for not having excessive needle drops. Like this isn't a movie that plays an 80s hit like every five minutes. It doesn't do that. Um and >> yeah, and when that song played Austin um that actually worked for me because I haven't seen Highlander. So that's a that's a Queen song. I actually don't know. So I I really favorite movies >> and I and I need to see Highlander. And then they undercut that scene with the joke and I was like, "Oh, like you ruined it."
Yeah. Like, so yeah, that was a bummer.
>> And I was very much expecting them to do the uh the what's up for non-b blonde song. Um >> yeah, >> I that was a given for me. Um >> yeah, >> I wasn't going to be mad if they didn't do it. I was [laughter] >> I was fine with it.
>> It was expected. Yeah. There's an entire generation who only know He-Man because of that. He's going to be >> Why that scene though? Like I feel like they could have done that in anything.
>> It It's It's only weird. It It only doesn't work for me because like 5 seconds before that we play I've got the power. They play that song like they did. Why would you do those two songs like back to back in a row? Yeah. Weird.
>> Yeah. And can we just stop it with that song and anything that >> that one's way overdone.
>> Power with Yeah. And it was and and what was funny was it was so obligatory. It was 15 seconds of that song and then they moved on. It was like you just have to have that somewhere. And like the the Power Rangers 2017 movie had to have some like really bad redux of that song, but then the 95 Power Rangers movie also had that song and that and that was like just stop it with that song. I'm so done with that.
>> I laughed at it because I knew you were sick of that song. So, that [laughter] was >> uh this isn't a music thing, but in that scene, I did have a moment of uh dread where they're running away from Beastman and he gets hit by an Amazon delivery truck and we stop to be like, "Oh, we got saved by Amazon." And I had a moment of dread of like, "Oh, Amazon owns Bond.
Am I gonna have to deal with this and that?" [laughter] >> Yeah.
>> [snorts] >> Yeah.
>> Uh, another movie I wanted to compare this to, uh, and this will tie into the Skeletor thing is, uh, it also reminded me a little bit of, uh, Disney's Hercules a little bit. I mean, like there's there's the obvious stuff like you have the protagonist raised on Earth. Um, but also like there's a specific plot beat where he our protagonist has like this animal companion that he had when he was a child that he reunites with. In Hercules, it's Pegasus. Here it's Battlecat. But there's like an actual kinship with Pegasus and it's in that movie a lot. And here Battlecat is in this movie so little. There's like barely an emotional connection there when they reunite and then it's just barely in the movie after. Like Austin said like Battlecat might as well not have been here. [laughter] Like it's so underdeveloped >> in place of the robot. All you needed the robot to do was break a door down.
He's a giant tiger. He could have done that earlier in the movie.
>> Exly. And I I als I also thought like what they were going for with Skeletor in this movie also just reminded me a little of Hades and Hercules and that's just done better. Um you guys probably didn't have that as much but so those are just a couple other things.
>> Well, that makes sense. I didn't think of that. But I speaking of uh characters that might as well not be here. I >> all of them. It's it's kind of fun that you do the like Saturday morning spell out the message thing at the end except it doesn't commit enough to the Saturday morning thing that that that that felt um kind of shoehorned and awkward in a way it shouldn't have. But but this was baffling to me. I've never seen this done.
>> So you get that little bit right at the end where where Orcco shows up and a lot of people were like expecting him to not even be in this at all. That felt like a thing they decided to do like last Tuesday. It was like it's like [laughter] just just throw that in there. But then I' I've never seen this before. Then you get into the closing credits and the obligatory like uh cutesy artwork that shows things that happen in the movie. And am I wrong about this?
>> Or in the team shot. I swear to God. I swear to God Orcco shows up in four shots like he's been in the whole movie where like he just keeps showing up with with like with the team like like like he's and I'm like why wasn't he in the movie then? Like you you could have had him there.
>> This probably just >> No, I had the same thing. I was like you can't put him in the uh the big team shot there. He's not in this movie.
>> He's not in the movie. What are you doing?
>> That was really weird. Like Austin, it's maybe not even just five different scripts blended together. It's like >> every department wasn't talking to the other departments, you know? I I wonder if whoever did the closing credits did not know that Orcco's not in the movie cuz he's in cuz maybe he saw the one shot he was in and was like, "Oh, Orcco's in this." And he just drew him everywhere. It's so weird.
>> Yeah. And like maybe he was in like an earlier script where he's more part of the adventure. Who knows? Cuz like he's your obvious comic relief.
And >> who knows?
>> I'm sick of maybe I'm getting cynical and jaded because I've just seen too many of these things for for all this time. But I don't get why we keep I like like throwing in these by the numbers.
I I what I'm trying to say elements that like nobody likes, you know, that like everybody like makes fun of or you you know you know gives crap to, but it's like there's a law written somewhere that if it's corporate enough, it has to have these things like when you uh like like you have to have the after credit scene that introduces the most obvious character that wasn't here this time to set up for the next one.
So, like there's not one person that has ever seen an episode of He-Man that doesn't come into this and go, "Well, she's not in the movie. I'm going to see her in the middle or after the credits."
And yeah, of of course you did. And she's not going to be cast yet, and it's going to be like like a like a like a nobody voice actress. And then if they make another one, they'll they'll finally actually cast her. Um they they do things like uh we don't have so many movies do this like on like like throw throwback movies or reboot things like 09 Star Trek does this uh where you don't get the main theme that you associate with the character until like the very end end like windending its way into the soundtrack. And like this does that where it's like trying to tug at the heartstrings in like the very last scene like here's the theme finally and and and like some of what's irritating about it is just that I you can again you can start setting your watch by it like all of these things do do these things and in these places like you know where the beats are going to be and I'm like where is this rule written down that it's got to be like that.
>> Oh wow. I was expecting you to throw out the big one.
>> Go ahead. which is Oh, you know what my name is? My name is He-Man.
>> Well, we had already kind of talked about some of that, which is why I didn't bring it up, but but but just all the all the stupid names for things, but but yes, that's that's obviously the big one. And this is maybe now the most egregious example of it because you've had him the whole movie and the world is ostensibly like the the silly cartoon world, but we still have to not have the He-Man name until the last 5 seconds and they got to come up with it in the most awkward way. It's got to have a stupid origin.
>> Yeah.
>> How do you not have the How do you not have the scene where Skeletor says, "Who the hell are you? I'm He-Man."
>> Like it's right there. Yeah.
>> But then we also have to have that part at the end where they're like, "Why is he running away? He seriously thinks he has a secret identity."
>> Isn't that funny?
>> That That's one of the worst things of the movie. It's wrong.
>> That was bad. Also, when they mistake his name Adam for Allan, did any of you guys find that funny?
>> No.
>> No. [laughter] >> Okay.
>> No. Uh, also with the He-Man name thing, uh, there's like weird, this is part of it having multiple scripts clearly. Like there's also weird setup in his office job that then is not set up. Like it plays at one point like that's the origin for I have the power, but then it's not.
>> Yeah.
>> Power. It's [laughter] already a thing.
>> Then it's this cutesy like we said it already, but it's not related to to the actual I have the power. So now it's real contrived. Yeah.
>> And that's part of stuff where like I'm more with it like at the beginning cuz I don't have it all in context. So I think it's going somewhere.
>> Um I also assume that like He-Man is going to come out of the like uh the pronoun like on his name he him. And I'm like that's like kind of a funny joke for getting the He-Man name if you're going to make a joke out of it. Uh no I I don't know. Like so there's the big one is I have the power though. I was like okay we just gave an origin to that. Oh I guess not.
>> That that only works if it's just a thing that he says or like he it was his idea but like you don't have the context.
>> Yeah. Like maybe says like uh you know you need to come up with like a slogan for our HR department. Uh I don't know.
I I have the power within me you know.
>> Well and if it wasn't about the sword and the power was inside him all along.
That wasn't really a magic hubcap. the power was inside of you all along. Then >> grab his head.
>> Then how then how come when he uh first picks up the sword and they they do the I know I'm saying obligatory a lot, but a lot of this is they do the standard obligatory, oh, he's going to lift the sword and it's going to be real awkward and it's not going to, you know, it's going to be like the scene from the mask. He's not going to transform. I >> if it's not about the sword, then why does he transform when he does transform but not there? Like it's kind of that 2017 >> taking the sword.
>> Sorry, what?
>> Flips him back. Skeletor taking the sword flips him back, too.
>> Well, he does knock him out, so I guess that's it.
>> Yeah, I guess. I don't know.
>> Yeah. And I'm I'm sure it's lame for some He I mean, He-Man fans seem to be liking this, a lot of them, but I I'm sure it's a little lame for for some of them that you get so little actual He-Man. Like, it's it's also got that standard problem.
I will say though, at a certain point, it was like a minute before he became He-Man, I was like, "Oh, is he only going to become He-Man in the third act?" Uh, so I I was at least glad that that didn't happen.
>> Yeah. It's not like a Power Rangers 2017.
>> Yeah, cuz I thought we were going there.
Uh, >> that's just because that was such an extreme example of it. Like if if Power Rangers handled it like this, I would have still complained about it. It just wouldn't be as bad. League.
>> Although it is really weird that Battlecat has the next time baby war machine Machine line.
>> Yes, I had that outfit at the end.
[laughter] That so weird.
like next time I'm gonna get armor and then he's he's just he's got to be and that that that's another one of those like typical uh fill in for the formula for no good reason things Austin where it's like the only reason he doesn't get the armor uh earlier is so that we can have like the big right before credits money shot where it where it finally looks like what you expect it to look like or like now it's He-Man on on Battlecat cuz that's like the image that that that you that you think of But we're not allowed to have that image until the very end of the movie. We always do that.
>> Yeah. And if you had if you had him introduced earlier instead of the robot character, like I said, you could still have that, but he they both transform in the third act.
>> But I don't know.
>> Oh man. Um Okay. Um you guys want to know my like actual like worst thing?
>> No, we did that already.
>> No, but like spoiler >> that was like an hour ago.
>> Yeah, it was. Is it that the drone thing ended and they didn't do that longer?
[laughter] >> You're like, why couldn't that have been the movie?
>> No. The worst thing.
>> Just put that in the theater. I'll pay eight bucks to see that.
>> It kind of made it in the movie. He kind of did a thing like it, but sorry. Go ahead, Jason.
>> Lookwise, uh there's I don't even remember where it is. Uh, I think it's like it's in the third act somewhere where He-Man is uh he's in a fight and then they just do all these poses and it looked awful.
>> My jaw dropped. It looked really bad.
>> I know.
>> That That looked rough.
>> It looked like a It looked like a PS4 game.
>> Yeah, it's it's the Arkham Origins cut scene when you're punching Joker in slow motion.
>> Oh, yeah.
trying to do like a Mortal Kombat like special move.
>> Yeah.
>> No, I was thinking that Austin dude. I was I was thinking Injustice the whole time. I was like, "Yeah, it's like it's like that like you do special moves."
>> It Yeah, it didn't look very good.
>> This has nothing to do with anything, Austin, but I but I I got I got my uh ultimate Mortal Kombat uh 11 today and I finally got to play as Spawn and he's wonderful and I'm I'm Yeah, he's good, man.
>> That's a lot of fun.
I'll have to scream that.
>> No, like I said, I thought most of the action looked fine. There's just like nothing clever or inventive. Like, it's just it's just we need we need the bad guys to win in these scenes and we need the good guys to win in these scenes.
And it's just kind of arbitrary. Like there's no rhyme or reason.
>> The same thing with it that I did with Dark World.
The best bit of action in it is just when he stabs the one henchman onto the other henchman's back and he like punches them around and he punches it and he flips them around. I was like that's that's a funny little gag. I like that.
>> Yeah.
>> I was like I need more things like that in it cuz you also get like >> just the knockoff uh speeder sequence from Return of the Jedi >> and it's like this was just >> like I'm just kind of waiting for the stand.
>> Yeah.
>> What movie is Dark World?
>> Uh let me read a couple comments real quick. Draven in the comments says, "I don't really mind the whole secret identity thing being a joke with He-Man because that even a bigger stretch than Superman just putting on a pair of glasses and nobody recognizes him and Danver says, "Yeah, Adam's secret identity is pretty ridiculous." Uh, it's just com but for me it's just compounding like we got to make fun of every single thing instead of just in like earnestly playing it.
>> Yeah.
>> Just he doesn't have a secret identity.
That's all you do. I don't need them to stop and be like, >> "He seriously thinks he has a secret identity. Oh well, we can all just pretend like all of that entire bit is a robot chicken joke."
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. And like in the context of the movie, everybody knows him. So like he doesn't have a secret identity. So it's like like yes, I get the joke. I get they're they're making fun of the fact that he has a ridiculous one in the show, but like this is now a different status quo. Like >> different thing. Yeah.
>> No, I was confused. It's becoming parody.
>> Mhm.
>> Yeah. Well, and it it also adds to a little bit to my issue that I haven't mentioned this yet that uh Adam just in general is too much of an idiot.
>> Yeah. Just in general. And that's that's also one of the things that uh played like Shazam too much for me. So, you're telling me that he's been on Earth for 15 years and he's still just walking around telling people that he's from Eternia? That's ridiculous. Like, nobody would do that. like like like I like I said earlier the what would happen is he would suppress it all like everything has been telling him he's not allowed to talk about this like he he would he would have like uh you know like mental hang-ups about it if nothing else or he would at least just um like how does this character not evolve in any way like you would just >> he's a habitual fish out of water he's a fish [laughter] out of water on fish out of other.
>> Well, and for a hero's journey story, isn't it weird that like he never resists the call in any way and he he kind of gets what he wants in the first half an hour of the movie.
>> He has like a thing against violence.
>> He wants to get home. He gets home.
Okay. And then we got to tack on the And again, I like it on paper, but we got to tack on the like learning to be a man thing because we need something else for his character arc to do. And again, it's just real messy. I'm sorry. He has the like thing against violence for like a second and then he doesn't anymore. I don't know what that was about. But that's but that's it. Like Yeah.
>> I just like it could have been fleshed out more. Um I I'm going to make a weird comparison, but Austin might know where I'm going with [laughter] this. C if you want to see the good version of what you're talking about with him like suppressing this uh watch you apparently. Also watch Oculus cuz that's about a kid [laughter] who was traumatized by this thing and then was in a mental institution growing up and and is told one thing and then he comes out and has to confront that. Um that that's a good movie. It's not a superhero movie, but you should watch it.
[laughter] >> Say that is a really good movie.
No, but but he like as a as a kid, there's like a haunted mirror that kills his family except for him and his sister and that's what he believes happens. So, he's in a mental institution and the second he gets out as an adult, his sister's like, "All right, now we got to investigate that mirror that killed our family." And he's like, "What?" Cuz he spent the last decade getting it drilled into his head that no, like there's no haunted mirror. Um, you're just mentally ill.
>> Sure. Yeah, that that's also a good comparison >> when we also don't know what he was doing. Like did he go into like an orphanage?
>> That's that's the that's the thing I wanted to talk about earlier just with with the run time of the movie >> any of that either.
>> Yeah. Wait, real quick. The earth thing I think is the most compromised thing in the movie. And I would be really surprised if there wasn't a draft at some point where there it wasn't again either amnesia or like he's just suppressed it or something cuz I don't even know why it's there in this version of the movie. It like it doesn't do anything.
>> It It's It's really weird. I mean, I'm glad we're not on Earth as long as I was expecting it to be, but it's weird that this movie is 2 hours and 20 minutes long and that we spend that little time on Earth like with that first act.
>> It kind of feels like it's only there for the more I'm thinking about it, Robert, it's like it's only there for thematic setup. It's like we want to play with modern ideas of masculinity versus traditional ideas of masculinity.
So, he has to go to our time so that we can have him go to an office where uh you you have people doing like the typical like identity politics stuff and all of that. It's like we have to introduce that idea. No, you don't though. Like like you could you could talk about all of that just within the context of the fantasy you're you're doing and >> yeah, >> that's all it gives you and you don't need it. I don't understand.
>> Yeah, I agree. It's just it's again it's weird that this movie is this long and it still feels like it's missing stuff.
Like we have one line with his roommate about like him seeing a therapist and the therapist saying that all that attorney stuff is BS and didn't happen.
So we have like one line about that but we don't know like Austin said presumably he was put in an orphanage when he showed up here. It's just when he shows up on Earth like you don't have the scene like who are the first people he runs into like like what hap it feels like there's stuff missing. It's really weird.
Just have him be raised by Oro in Attorneyia and that's why he's an idiot.
>> Do you think? [laughter] Sure.
>> He's like Timone and Pumba merged together.
>> Yeah. Yeah. The The Lion King was another movie this reminded me of a little bit.
>> Yeah, definitely.
>> Yeah. It's weird like we've never I don't I don't know that we've ever referenced this many other movies, but it makes sense because it's such a corporate product. Like if I found out that the final version of this script was doctorred by like Chad GBT, I would not actually not be surprised by that.
>> Mhm.
>> Well, it's so inconsistent that that kind of makes sense. I mean, >> that's what it would do to it.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> I mean, it would probably >> Amazon product, >> but Yeah. Yeah. But Chad GBT could take a pass at it and be one of the script writers and then another script writer could come in and punch that up and then and then you could end up with some of what you have here.
>> Well, you know what? You know what happened, Cap? Chat GBT was like, "Okay, push Battlecat to the end. Put a robot here [laughter] that can help him get out of the cell."
>> Sure. It felt like the instructions for the Power Rangers RPG >> like [laughter] >> it's well because it's just like you have no clue what's happening on this page and [laughter] it's completely different on this page.
>> Well well with that with that this is I don't know why you're making me talk about things that have nothing to do with this. Um, it does that that started with a a different system >> and like like they were basing it on a pre-existing system and then when they developed their own system they started using uh they made up their own ter terminology but there's places in the book where they keep the original terminology and so you read the whole thing and it doesn't make any sense because you don't know what you're talking about with like uh you know roles and perks and things. Yeah. So yeah, you're right. This movie is like that.
>> Yeah, except >> it's like they left a few things they should have changed.
>> Yeah, >> I'm glad I mentioned >> sometimes nice to Adam man of man at- arms. Sorry. Go ahead, Robert. No, I'm just I'm glad I brought up Lion King because that reminded me Oh, the scene where him and Tila reunite is just the scene where Simba and his love interest reunite.
[laughter] >> Because >> because in the Lion King, Simba becomes Fisto. But anyways, finish what you were saying.
>> No, [laughter] >> NO, YOU DON'T SAY THAT.
>> [gasps] >> I don't disagree, but um did and another area where this does feel like it was doctorred by AI is did it like stick out or bother any of you guys that like we do that thing where there's kind of a romantic interest with them in the first act, but then she says, "No, I'm not into you that way." And then in the back half of the movie, it just never comes up again. Not into each other. I had this split second when they jumped six months later where I thought it was going to be a wedding and then I was like, "Wait a minute. She's not been a love interest. It's not going to be a wedding." Uh, that feels like the the typical modern thing where we've got to fill in for the formula, but by God, we better not have a love interest because that makes the the female characters somehow seem stronger or something. But it feels outdated now cuz we're starting to win back around to allowing more romance in these things. So now it feels like I mean this felt like a co movie in >> with with a lot of elements like that.
>> I I'll also say I'm >> starting next year they are they are probably actually together.
>> Sure. And I'll I'll also say that like if beginning to end they are just platonic friends like I'm also fine with that. Um if they do if they wanted to go that direction like that's fine. Just don't >> Yeah. Just don't have the obligatory scene where they're like flirting and awkward and he's into her but she's not really into him. And then like just don't do that if that's not going to go anywhere.
>> No, I agree.
>> Flip it. She hits on him and he's like, "No, the only cat for me is Battlecat."
[laughter] >> You wanted to say another word.
>> You say it in the movie.
>> Yeah. [laughter] >> Why are you having to remind me of all these horrible, horrible lines?
[laughter] soon as you say, "You know what? I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE this thought, [clears throat] but maybe it didn't bother me as much because I know kids aren't watching this movie." You know what I mean? But like it's it's a movie that ostensibly feels like it's supposed to appeal to a lot of children because I'm I mean, let's face it, like it it used to be a children's property, you know, obviously. Um, but then they got to do like like unclassy uh you know, you know, semivulgar humor kind of like the Transformers movies did. And so you got to do the fisto joke over and over and over again and you gotta do the the the cat joke and like of course you're doing that stuff.
>> There's at least not a ton of it >> and like it'll go over kids heads but like the fista one is annoying because they just won't stop.
>> Keeps going.
>> Yeah, >> they beat that into the ground more than that slow-mo shot of He-Man beating Skeletor into the ground.
>> They they think it's so funny.
Yep. Uh, Plushy DX, now you've decided that trend seems dead. Well, I haven't decided anything. I'm just saying that I've more recently have seen more examples of we're allowing romance to creep back in. And so, it seems more uh allowed now. I guess I could be wrong.
We we we could we could have another five or 10 years where it suddenly isn't there at all. But I mean, the fact that I've noticed multiple examples of it recently makes me think that we've loosened up on that again and and like, you know, filmmakers in general are kind of more okay with it. Um, I don't know.
I'm just I'm just calling what I'm seeing. Like, >> I'm not declaring a trend is dead. Like, >> if they make a sequel, we'll get the romance arc. We'll have Orcco and Shira be a thing.
>> No, if they make a sequel, they hate money.
It's Amazon. They did make multiple seasons of Rings of Power.
>> That's true.
>> Yeah, they they committed >> and they announced they're making a Gem in the Hologram show today while their current 80s movie is bombing.
>> So, this thing is bombing and they pick now to announce that >> what? Yep.
>> Yep.
>> And then they'll just call it the hologram. episode will also have no cultural [laughter] like knowledge.
>> RJ Gazilla, that trend is dying except in the MCU.
Yeah, we we we we still are not loving our romances in the MCU so far. But I I I don't completely agree with that depending on what you're watching. I mean, like Reed and Sue were married in Fantastic 4, though that is a hard one to avoid. But also like Daredevil and Karen are together on board again >> movies have that >> Yeah, I guess it depends.
>> Yeah, it depends on what you're >> Yeah. But how but how much of it is stuff that is grandfathered in?
>> Like name an example of a new one?
Everything you said is stuff that predated that that they've hung on to just because they they had it and it's and it's liked. Like it's it's grandfathered in.
>> Yeah. Well, yeah. Well, I'm also just talking about MCU specifically. Like if we're talking about like comic books in general, that's a whole other can of worms. Like they're >> Yeah. I mean, I guess I'll give you FF.
They would have had to really go out of their way like to [laughter] not have that. But >> that would have been insane.
>> Sue is pregnant. We don't know why.
[laughter] >> What? We're almost at two hours. What haven't we talked about that you guys want to hit real quick? Another positive mind to this one.
>> I know another positive I'll say just kind of expanding on earlier points is I think the costumes are mostly fine like uh like the guy with the big neck I I thought he looked cool look at this in general. I'm not with Jason. I thought it looked a little better than the way he's describing it.
>> The CG got in the way so hard that I >> I thought I I thought the green screen usually looked poor. I I wasn't impressed with anything in this movie, but like so I like the costumes for the most part and that's just kind of Austin's point about how visually it looks faithful and I appreciate that, but but then we have to make fun of that stuff. Yeah, >> the He-Man costume looks good. Yeah, like most of the costumes I would say look good.
>> Ramman looks good, but we have to keep being like you Rammen.
Well, and it's apparent when when all of those supporting characters prevailing character trait is they don't like the name they've been given and they don't have a name.
>> And then the the the Ram man joke breaks my brain because we have the flashback about him as a kid and he's like made made fun of for calling Ramman a historical figure. But like he's me but he's presenting a historical figure with a fake name. [laughter] >> Like so Yeah. [laughter and gasps] >> Look at my favorite president's top hat boy. He freed the slaves.
>> Exactly. [laughter] >> He's a great historical figure until he was killed by his nemesis Skeletor.
>> My favorite president was President Bathtub. He's a historical figure.
>> I liked wooden teeth man myself.
[laughter] I >> I like I did not have sexual relations with that woman. He was a good one.
>> [laughter] >> with that battle cat.
>> This battle cat.
>> Oh my god. It never occurred to me why Zo should have played Clinton in something. I did not have sex with that woman. I did not.
>> Oh, hi Mark.
>> Okay, I [laughter] did.
>> That'd be wonderful.
>> And then Greg Cero can play Hillary. I I'm very down for this. I like this idea.
>> Okay, great. It sounds like this movie is better as a silent film. It would be even more boring that way, but at least I wouldn't have to listen to all that crappy dialogue.
And the scholar voice, you wouldn't have to listen to that.
>> That's true.
>> You could just >> You could just imagine what he sounds like. But I but I think I like his his I almost said lips but he doesn't have lips. So like his his uh you know teeth would come up and down and then uh I would just be imagining the Martian sounds from Mars Attacks >> where like every every time he talks it just be [laughter] >> I just picture him just laughing the entire time. Just anytime he walks in he's like [laughter] >> yes. No, no, Josh. Jason is not He's seen a few clips and they stick with him and he remembers that.
>> I I still want to >> Oh. Oh, we'll do it.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> Oh, hi Mark.
>> I said that to my sister when she was like 13 and then told my cousin and he was like, "Yeah, it's just like softcore porn." [laughter] And I was like, "Yeah, I didn't think about it before I watched it, but funny. [laughter] >> You just hate your sister then.
Yeah, exactly. [laughter] >> Uh Jason, was there anything else that you want to bring up?
>> Nope.
>> Robert Austin.
>> No, I think that's basically everything.
>> Nah.
>> Ju just imagine uh Can you feel the love tonight with He-Man and uh Battlecat? Just go go >> with Skeletor. [laughter] What you started saying?
No, Robert.
>> It was fine. He was fine.
>> I would gladly see Skeletor do the Nala face. [laughter] >> No, but but NOW I HAVE A MIDDLE PICTURE CUZ YOU SAID IT WAS BATTLECAT WITH A NATE. [laughter] WHY DID YOU ROLL 34 THIS? That's not okay.
>> Robert, [laughter] I just added himself as a furry.
[snorts] >> I'm glad Jason know [laughter] I'm glad.
>> What is this? What is this scream?
>> Robert, how does it feel to live without shame? [laughter] >> You're the one that loves Battlecat. I only said that for you.
>> That's true. I do love Battlecat. I love Tigers in general. They're cool.
[laughter] >> Everybody, thanks a lot for listening. I guess we're ending on this note. Uh we'll be back with more geeky stuff this week on Geek Folution and lots more movie reviews over the summer. So stay tuned. Um, I'm gonna be off all week next week. So, uh, Austin, what's coming out this weekend? Because we're probably gonna have to double up on something.
>> That No, Toy Story is the next one. Uh, the upcoming one is that Spielberg movie. I can't >> disclosure day. Yeah, >> I do want to see that. I don't know if we'll review it now. Um, but if if we're if we're able to, we'll probably double feature it with something. Um, it would be funny to do that with that with Mandalorian. Uh, but Anyway, [laughter] that that sounds either like the best idea I've ever had or a total mistake. I don't know. But anyway, uh but we'll be back soon with uh lots more fun stuff. I appreciate you guys being here. Robert, thanks for popping in, man.
>> Ah, thank you for having me.
>> And uh Austin, thanks for going to see this movie. I I'm really glad that you did that because of some of the uh disturbing things that you said during the stream that will stick with me now.
>> Oh, I'm I'm sorry. [laughter] But just picture Oracle singing, "Can you feel the love tonight?" while He-Man and Skeletor are battling swords.
>> Oh my god. [laughter] Uh, thanks for being here, folks. We'll see you later.
I was >> happy Pride month, everybody.
>> This was Jason. We had Robert and Austin. Bye, folks.
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