Reasons You Probably Wouldn’t Be My Friend

Añadido: 2026-05-12

[00:00:00]You may not want to be friends with me.

[00:00:01]If I feel like I have to constantly explain to someone how to show up as a friend, it starts to feel forced. You already flaked on me one, two, three times. I could be weird. That's cool.

[00:00:12]You think that I'm going to show up for you and I feel like you never have showed up for me. Maybe you played yourself.

[00:00:24]>> What's good?

[00:00:27]What's popping? What's cracking? What's cracking? What's cracking? What's cracking? Y'all chilling? Yeah.

[00:00:33]Chilling. Hey, bet.

[00:00:36]It's your girl Liy and we back again with another epic video.

[00:00:46]So, y'all see the title of today's video, and I'm going to just get straight to the chase with what I got to say real quick because one thing that I know for sure for certain, I'm not everybody's type. I'm not everybody's cup of tea. I'm quite literally not for everybody on the internet and in real life.

[00:01:04]>> Oh my god.

[00:01:05]>> Don't act shocked.

[00:01:08]>> And you know, I actually got inspired to make today's video from two things. The first is because I've seen a few other creators mainly on short form do videos like this and because in one of my recent videos I briefly and is this one in specific the Ice Spice video for some of y'all that have not seen it but I talked about a situation a friendship situation and how I handled it in that video. And you know, it was some people who commented and they called me corny and weird for how I chose to handle the situation in my life. And honestly, the way I see it is I have my own standards for my life and for my friendships. And if you align with them, you do. And if you don't, you don't.

[00:01:55]>> Won't do.

[00:01:55]>> And that's okay, too, sister or brother.

[00:01:58]A big thing that I really be feeling like that be getting lost on the internet is context. Just because I share parts of my life and parts of a situation on my YouTube channel that says my name on it because it's based off of majority my life, my experiences, my lessons, things that I've lived through and sometimes commenting on other situations. But yeah, just because I share certain parts of a situation doesn't always mean that you as the viewer has the full picture. There's always details I may or may not leave out, history that you fully don't know, and dynamics that I'm not putting online. And all of those things play a role into how I move in my real life.

[00:02:40]Just based on like my content creator journey that I've been on for the last three and a half years at this point, which is crazy cuz how did I end up here, child? I think some people, and this is where that whole parasocial conversation comes in, and whether it's a good parasocial and you actually support me, or it's a bad parasocial and you're just a parasocial hating ass jealous ass [ __ ] And I I think some people that watch me and probably even watch other creators tend to forget that just because you watch someone's videos on a consistent basis, just because you don't miss an upload, that does not mean that you know them.

[00:03:18]>> Clock it.

[00:03:19]>> All you know is what I, we, us choose to share on the internet. Respectfully, you truly don't know what I have experienced in real life, what I do and don't tolerate, or how my brain works, and what truly leads me to certain decisions in my life. So instead of going back and forth with people who think that I need to explain myself to them, cuz I don't have to explain myself to nobody on this internet, let's be clear, nobody on this internet could ever tell me that I have to explain myself to them and that I owe them an explanation to anything that happened in my life that again, y'all were not there for. So yeah, I'm going just lay it all out in this video. And these are going to be some really honest reasons why some people, even the same people y'all who watch me, may not be my friend in real life. And you know what?

[00:04:10]I'm okay with that. No love lost because there could be two truths. You can enjoy watching my videos and my content, but you might not actually be friends with me in real life. We might not actually be aligned. We may not be compatible.

[00:04:24]And I don't know, it's starting to feel like some people that watch me, not all of you, so if the shoe fit, don't wear it. But it's really starting to feel like it's certain people that watch me that keep up with my videos, they don't miss a upload, but they really don't [ __ ] with me for real. Like, that's crazy. Like, but yeah, y'all, before we get into the nitty-gritty of today's video, if you're new to the channel, welcome to the channel. And if you're a returning viewer or subscriber, what's good? What's popping? What's crackers?

[00:04:50]What's cracking? Y'all chilling. I already know y'all chilling. Make sure y'all tap it with me on all of my social medias. Definitely don't forget to tap it with me on Patreon. This is the latest Patreon video and it's titled I'm sick of these.

[00:05:05]Like really like I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. And if y'all don't see me posting on YouTube, Patreon is the place to go because in my spare time when I don't feel like getting all doed up for the tube, I'm on Patreon chill vibes and they getting story times that y'all may not get over here. But yeah, definitely do not forget to give this video a big like, comment, and subscribe. And make sure you swipe on that comment section and click on that hype button because your girl needs all the hype she CAN GET.

[00:05:35]PERIOD.

[00:05:36]>> That's all I got to say for now. Let's just get straight into the video.

[00:05:41]Okay. Boom. Let's get into point number uno. Point number one. You probably would not want to be my friend because I'm what they call what some of the girls they hate this phrase, a lowmaintenance friend. And this is truly I feel because I value being alone. I value my solitude. I value my alone time. I'm not one of those people that hates being alone. I actually like it.

[00:06:08]Do I value being around people and having community? Of course. But like child, 80% of the time, I I need my alone time. Respectfully, I don't need and don't want to talk to you every day.

[00:06:20]Every other day or even every week. For me, checking in every couple of weeks, depending on how close we are and how much chemistry we have as friends. Maybe maybe every couple of months. I don't know. Maybe I'll check on you once every other month, once every two months. I don't I don't know. And for me, that is completely fine. And I know for some people that doesn't really feel like a real friendship. Some people really feel like if we're not constantly talking, it there's some kind of beef. It's a problem. It's an issue. Or they just feel like if we're constantly not talking, we're not close. And I just personally don't understand because that's just not how I operate. I have even had and child, this is going to be a story time. I don't know when this is going to be a story time. I've even had a so-called friend crash out on me because they felt like I was being fake because we hadn't spoken to each other in 2 weeks. And instead of just I guess I mean they did communicate, but the delivery was horrible because they crashed out on me and threatened to put their hands on me because I didn't speak to them or hang out with them cuz I was busy with my own life for twoing weeks.

[00:07:30]>> Oh my god. Don't act shocked, >> girl. That's that's that's a crazy story time cuz girl [ __ ] got crazy. Don't be threatening me, [ __ ] cuz you going to get what you asking for. Anyways, um but yeah, like the way my brain cells, the chromosomes is set up in my head, I just don't have the mental capacity to be in constant communication with a friend.

[00:07:52]First of all, real [ __ ] the only people that I could really talk to on an everyday basis is either my mommy or my nan. and I'm single right now. So, it's really my mom that I'm really talking to every day. Every week, I make sure I talk to my grandma bare minimum two times a week, every week. So, that's someone who's high priority on my list.

[00:08:09]And, you know, I do have other family and friends in between that I talk to every couple of weeks, every couple of months. But, again, I just feel like to get that out of me, we have to have some kind of bond or connection and chemistry that draws us close to each other. And me personally, I have like real [ __ ] y'all. I have never had a relationship with a friend. Maybe outside of like high school, okay, when we really had nothing else to do but go to school and be on the phone with our friends. But I haven't had a friend since, let's say, high school. Mind you, I'm about to be 28 in like a month and a half. OH MY.

[00:08:47]BUT YEAH, I haven't had a friend since then, where I felt that draw to where I needed to speak to them every day, every other day, multiple times out the week.

[00:08:55]is just would I like that? Maybe. I don't know. But our connection really got to be. And I I'm really not connecting with people like that. I'm sorry. Not sorry. And going back to the solitude thing, since I've gotten older and I'm living on my own and I have no choice but to sit with myself and my thoughts every day, it just reiterates how much I do enjoy having my alone time. Like, I can go out to eat by myself. I can travel by myself. I can live by myself. Clearly, I just don't need that constant validation from my friends. If my friends, if my family still need me to show up for them, I will do so in the best way that I possibly can. But again, I'm not somebody who needs constant access. So, if you're someone who needs daily communication, weekly communication, you probably would not like being my friend.

[00:09:46]Okay, boo. Let's get into the next point. Flakiness. you probably would not want to be my friend because one thing I do not tolerate is flakiness. And listen y'all, y'all might feel some type of way in the comments, but one of the biggest indicators for me is my birthday.

[00:10:07]I don't know how y'all was raised with birthdays and what's that given for y'all and your household with your family, but the way my mama raised me and thank God for my mama. I'm so happy and blessed for the mama that I got.

[00:10:22]Every single birthday, okay, we coming up on the 28th birthday, my mom has always made me feel special. So whether that was my mom throwing a party for me or paying for us to go on a trip and other people were involved like other family friends, me personally, if I feel like you can't show up for me on my birthday as a friend or you don't acknowledge it, I'm not going to be mad at you. Like I'm not going to crash out on you or nothing. And I'm just going to take that down as some information. And it's not even just about the one situation of a birthday. It's patterns for me. If I feel like I have invited you out multiple times and you're constantly unavailable, cancelling, or just simply saying yes and then backing out last minute, at that point, I'm just going to naturally distance myself.

[00:11:09]Like, I'm just I'm good love and joy.

[00:11:11]Obviously, life happens. Things come up.

[00:11:13]I know that clearly. But if it comes to a point where I see that it's becoming a pattern and you think that I'm going to show up for you and I feel like you never have showed up for me.

[00:11:24]>> Got baby, you played yourself. I'm sorry. You will never like, nah, it's it's clipped for all of that. I'm over here. I already decided, yeah, this is not giving. This is not going to work for me. And I just simply just don't believe in one-sided effort in friendships. We all want to feel some repercity, if I said the word right. We all want to feel that in a friendship and before somebody get on me on the birthday like because I know sometimes people may not have enough money to go to a birthday dinner or whatever the case may be. I have been the friend where if I wanted a certain friend to be there for my birthday dinner, I have paid for their meal on my own birthday dinner. Didn't receive a gift, nothing.

[00:12:05]So I I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. It's it's about can you show up or can you make up? And if you can't, it's not going to work. I mean, yeah, you probably wouldn't want to be my friend cuz I take birthdays and my time very seriously. And to just give, you know, just like a brief little mini story time in this video, okay? If the person watching, no shade, no disrespect, but I don't I don't have no beef with you, but sister, we're not friends clearly. So, but it's no beef, it's no love lost. I'm not going to say which birthday it was, but I had someone who I felt like we were developing a friendship. That's what I thought. But I feel like I probably was thinking wrong.

[00:12:44]And what I basically kind of told y'all is basically what kind of happened when it came to us hanging out. We hung out a few times. Like I could count on one hand how many times we hung out with each other. And and this is the thing.

[00:12:58]This is the thing, right? When it came to my birthday, this specific birthday year, my birthday fell on Father's Day cuz for whatever reason, I was born very close to Father's Day. And Father's Day is not a specific date, but it falls around a certain point in June. So if it falls on whatever day it fall on, that's when it's going to fall on, right? Okay.

[00:13:17]But okay, period. Cuz it's on a Sunday.

[00:13:19]So yeah, last year Oh, I guess I just spoiled it. Last year my birthday was a Sunday. Okay. Boom. So boom. Same day as Father's Day, right? I had invited this person who I felt like we were developing a friendship. Up front, I already knew that they were close with their dad or whatever. I kind of just told him like, "Hey, I'm having like a little birthday dinner. I know it's the same day as Father's Day, but I just want to tell you maybe you could maybe you could squeeze me into your day.

[00:13:48]Maybe you could squeeze me into your day." And that person had basically let me know, hey, I'm not going to be able to come cuz yeah, I'll be spending the whole day with my father and whatever the case may be. I'm like, "Okay, cool.

[00:14:00]No problem." Like, I'm not tripping. And and this is where some people would say that I'm entitled and I'm weird.

[00:14:07]We do not care.

[00:14:08]>> And personally, I don't give a [ __ ] because the problem is with me is that I expect myself in others. And that's my problem. [ __ ] it. Cuz cuz here's the gag, right? I don't have a dad. I don't have a dad. My daddy died 2 years ago.

[00:14:22]So for me, if the role if the shoe was on the other foot and I have someone that I'm developing a relationship with and I if I truly want to be their friend and I know that their dad passed away recently basically it's not OD fresh but it's fresh enough. Okay, it hasn't been 5 years. It hasn't been 10 years, 15 years, 20 years. It's you know what I'm saying? Me personally, if I knew that my friend dad passed away a year or two ago and their birthday fell on Father's Day, me as a friend, I'm going to make time for my daddy and I'm going to make time for my friend. That's just me. But everybody's not like me. Okay. So, that person, they said that they was going to make it up to me. I'm like, "Okay, cool.

[00:15:03]No problem. If you make it up, we good."

[00:15:06]I'm still taking my information, though.

[00:15:08]But, okay, cool. We good. Okay. Boom.

[00:15:09]When it came time to make it up to me, it was like crickets. And I'm not going to lie, it was crickets on my end. It was crickets on their end. Cuz my whole thing is my birthday already passed. The making up weekend that came. I was sick.

[00:15:21]So, I wasn't really even pressed to go outside and they didn't say nothing. So, I didn't say nothing because again, my birthday already passed. You the one who said that you was going to make it up.

[00:15:29]That's another thing. You can't keep your word. I don't know, sister. I don't know. My birthday done pass. We don't speak for months and months and months and months. Like I said, if I notice the flakiness, I'm going to distance myself.

[00:15:40]I guess I realized it was this person's birthday. I wish them a happy birthday.

[00:15:45]And I guess because I wish them a happy birthday, they remembered that they flaked on me for my birthday.

[00:15:50]Apologized. I was like, "Okay, no problem." I proposed an idea for us to hang out in the near future. This person agreed. I told them a date, a time, a location, an event, which will be the next story time cuz that turned into a whole not with this person but this this event that I had went to. That's a whole other story time and it will literally be the next video that I'll upload. I invited them and the day of came. You know, I sent a little text to confirm like, "Hey, I'll see you later." And they told me, "Oh my gosh, I actually have plans. Forgot." And I was just like, "Roger that." Noted. No crash out necessary. No hoopla. I don't need to do any of that. Like I'm I'm cool. I'm good. You know what was kind of crazy to me? I was like I like girl >> y'all is Yeah. I don't even know what to say.

[00:16:40]>> You don't know say no no no porqu. Um it was like a few weeks later this person was having their own event and it was a very sentimental special event. I'm not going to say the details, but it was an event that they invited me to. Like, hey, >> hey, hey, >> I'm throwing this. Could you come?

[00:17:07]>> And I was just like, >> no, ma'am.

[00:17:10]No, ma'am.

[00:17:11]>> No. Hey, like first of all, I wasn't even going to um be in town at the time that they had extended the invitation for me to come to this sentimental event for them. But even if I was, I probably would have not I wasn't going to go anyways because you already flaked on me one, two, three times. So, it's like why would I come to this very special moment in your life? And some people will probably feel like, okay, because this this gonna go into another topic that we gonna discuss next. Some people probably say, okay, well, why didn't you communicate to this person that you would that that No, because I because my thing is if I'm in a developing relationship with someone, it's only so much that I'm going communicate to you because if you naturally if this is how you naturally move and we haven't been friends with each other for 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, then that's all I need to know. Okay, this is how you move and we're not really aligned. So, I'm not about to force nobody to move no kind of way that they're not naturally prone to moving. You know what I'm saying? For me, it's different if I've known someone for years on end. Those me personally, or at least a year. And again, this is me speaking as someone who I have seen so many people come and go out of my life. So, I'm not really too much unfortunately. And some of y'all may feel some type of way. You might feel like I'm entitled. You may feel like I'm weird. That's fine. That's cool. were not aligned and it's okay. But I'm not too much going out of my way to communicate certain things to certain people that have not been in my life for that long. Those of y'all who get it will get it and those of y'all who don't, y'all won't. So yeah, that ties into this next reason on why you may not want to be my friend. When it comes to certain situations, I just expect a certain level of loyalty. That's just me because I know that I can give it, so I expect it. Yes. And of course, the loyalty should feel natural. So, I don't want or I don't expect people to just blindly defend me no matter what. Defend me if I'm wrong about something. But, I mean, if I'm clearly in a situation where I'm clearly being disrespected, attacked, harassed, talked about, and you're my friend or we're developing a friendship, I expect you to naturally feel some type of way about that. And I expect you to not be no surface level ass hoe about it respectfully. And not because I have to come out and tell you, but because you naturally know how to read the room and you have some level of care for me. Cuz again, I would do that for my friends or someone that I'm developing a friendship with. And yeah, so I've realized that not everybody operates the same way that I do. Some people are more neutral, some people are more passive, or they might just simply feel like that's not my place. And for me, that's where that difference in alignment comes in. And even with the little situation that I had mentioned in my last video with people trying to call me weird and corny for how I chose to handle it, I'm going to just put the screenshots on the screen. And to just give y'all some context real quick about what I'm about to refer to and I guess respond to from these little comments and these screenshots or whatever, I'm going back to my very last video that I posted titled when your friend doesn't defend you. Right? I have referenced a situation that happened and a person who I was developing a friendship with and I expressed how I didn't necessarily like how they responded when I told them something was going on. to give more context for the people that are confused. I'm talking about what occurred during the whole influencer pool party drama where I when I went viral. And before I even get into that, right, like I said y'all, no disrespect.

[00:21:01]I appreciate the people who watch me and who have helped me grown to where I'm at today, but this is my channel that says Liy Land. And I got to reiterate it again. It's built off of experiences that have happened to me in my life that I have lived through. So, especially regarding this little influencer pool party that I went viral off of, if I want to bring this up a 100 times, if I want to bring it up until I'm blue in the face, then that's exactly what I'm going to do. Ain't nobody on this internet going to think that they're going to clock me. Especially the people that don't even have a profile picture.

[00:21:35]Like, I can't even pick you out out of a lineup, sister, and try to mitigate how many times I could bring up a situation that happened to me in my life. Because it's not like I'm just be aimlessly bringing it up and it don't connect to whatever I'm talking about in today's video or what the past video or the past video. Every time I've brought that thing up, it has always come with new information that I didn't necessarily tell and it has always came with me comparing it to whatever topic of conversation I'm talking about in the present video. So yeah, I don't give a if anybody feel no kind of way that I done brought it up because >> I'm trying to act like it's some kind of highlight >> as what a hating parasocial [ __ ] said. Um, it is for me it is. For me it's something that played out on the internet in real time in my life whereas a lot of my story times happened in the past months and years before I talked about it on the internet. It's something that I had to go through mentally and emotionally. And truthfully, the only people that's going to truly relate to having to deal with backlash and people coming at you and your character or are the only people have directly dealt with a situation as such. So yeah, if I want to bring it up and I want to reference that situation 50 more times after this video on my channel that has my name, then that's exactly what I'm going to do. Period.

[00:22:51]>> Stupid.

[00:22:51]>> Anywh who, let me continue. So, in that Ice Spice video, I had briefly mentioned how I felt some type of way or how I just wasn't feeling. Let let me just say that. How I wasn't really feeling how the home girl who was there with me when everything popped off. I texted her and told her, "Hey, I'm going viral." I personally did not like the surface level responses that I was getting, which was her saying, "LFO, her saying that she see the video picked up and her sending me another flyer for an influencer pool party talking about some LMFO." you would not want to be my friend because if if some [ __ ] is popping off and all you have to offer me is surface level [ __ ] ass responses, I'm not going for it. I'm going to distance myself from you. And then I get comments talking about how I'm entitled and I'm weird for how I decided to handle something. But me personally, I feel like if you and I as friends, developing friends, are both there for a situation, you saw what happened in real time, in real life, I tell you, hey, this is going on. You tell me, LMFO, you tell me that you see what's going on. So that means you see I'm getting dragged.

[00:23:58]You see I'm getting attacked. You see me going back and forth with people on the internet. You see all these YouTube videos and Tik Toks and Instagrams that I'm rebutling. You see that and all you have to offer is an element. I'm personally not going for it. No ma'am.

[00:24:12]So this person comments and they said, "And what exactly was she supposed to say? I mean, communication is a two-way street. You didn't tell her people were attacking you in the comments. All you said was that you went viral. I guess some of your other points, but the entitlement is weird. I respond and I say, "I think the context is being overlooked." It wasn't just about what I texted her. She was there with me at the event and saw what was happening in real time, both in person and online. And if she saw the video picking up, she also had access to what was being said. Clock it. For me, it was about the overall lack of support, not just one conversation. And that's not something that I personally feel like I should have to explain. And let me reiterate before I read their response back that they deleted because I don't see it there anymore. But I guess I caught it just in time. So I'm going respond on camera for you, sister. And when I said, and that's not something that I personally feel like I should have to explain, I meant that not to you, sister, but to the person that I was referencing in that video. I feel like as a friend, if you was there, you saw what happened. you see stuff is picking up online, that means you see the drama that's going on. We're not little kids.

[00:25:22]We're we're adults. We can see what's going on. I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to that person. Are you good?

[00:25:29]I see what's going have some kind of concern like, yo, I see what's I see things picking up and I see these people talking to you crazy. Are you good? I should I don't feel like I should have to explain that to a grown ass adult. Me personally, if you feel otherwise, then that's on you. But that's not me. I shouldn't have to explain to a grown ass adult. Yo, get in the comments, defend me, say something, or just show more concerned outside of an LMFAO or I see was that was picking up.

[00:25:56]>> Especially after I personally feel like people who weren't even there were showing more concern were addressing the backlash and the negativity and asking me if I was good, but the person who I was there with only have jokes to offer.

[00:26:08]Now, if you don't understand that concept, I don't know what to tell you.

[00:26:12]Whoopdedoo. But I feel how I feel and I said what I said and I moved how I moved and that's what I really meant by that.

[00:26:18]But you responded and you said and deleted your comment. Okay, nothing is overlooked and lol then don't tell it if you feel like you shouldn't explain it because that whole text situation just feels so weird and entitled. And not to mention in your text all you said was that you went viral and put hella laughing emojis. So, her saying LMFO was probably her just trying to match energy or share a laugh with you. Y'all be too weird for me. Lol. And put the emoji.

[00:26:49]Bye. Bye. Don't let the door hit you on your way out, sister. Um um child.

[00:26:56]Anyway, so and to reiterate, I definitely did not put a laughing face emoji. I put a crying emoji. To me, there's a difference between a haha and a Okay. So, because you interpreted like that. Okay, cool. And another thing is and and this is the point that I'm talking about and and what you don't understand, sister, is that I just wasn't reacting to a moment. I was reacting to a pattern on how this person that I actually dealt with in real life shows up and doesn't show up. And how I personally feel like between me and this person that you don't know, there was already a misalignment between us. So, I'm counting misalignments on my end and this is about like the third or fourth misalignment.

[00:27:39]No, I don't feel like I have to like know because for me, we're just not aligned. For me, this is a developing friendship. And if you don't naturally show up in a certain way, I'm not going to force you to do that. That's just me.

[00:27:52]So, yeah. When I said I feel like I shouldn't have to explain anything, I meant it to the home girl, not you.

[00:27:58]Because clearly I responded to your comment. But I guess I got to let you know, too. I don't got to explain [ __ ] to you either, sister. Now, if I want to come up on here and make a video and talk about something to my audience, that's exactly what I'm going to do. But please don't think I owe anyone on this internet an explanation to jack [ __ ] Let's just make that clear. And I could be weird. That's cool. Me being weird just means that we wouldn't be compatible in real life.

[00:28:25]>> Won't they do?

[00:28:26]>> We would not be friends in real life.

[00:28:28]And that's okay. And you know what I want to bring them to? I'mma probably insert the video, but I recently saw this video on Instagram that this girl had posted where she was saying that in friendships you should always communicate when something bothers you.

[00:28:44]>> But you cannot be my friend if you can't come to me and tell me that you have a problem with me. And I don't like being friends with avoiders or people who don't know how to communicate because y'all will literally ruin a friendship because you don't know how to talk. You don't know how to communicate. You don't know how to be raw. You don't know how to truly truly truly um confront a situation that is bothering you. If you're my friend, you should know my character. And I think that's important, too. Know know the character of who you assume something about, right? But also, we have to be able to have a genuine relationship. And that genuine relationship should always include us being able to tell each other about each other. If you can't do that, get out my face. And while I understand that viewpoint, I also saw some other people in the comments saying stuff that I personally relate to and even what I just explained a few moments ago in this exact video. And how I personally feel, I feel like sometimes it's not a lack of communication, it's just a lack of alignment. If you already feel like that you're not in alignment with someone, it's people like me and some of the people in that comment section who feel like nah, I'm not overexplaining because we're not even in alignment anyways. So, I'mma just I just rather distance myself and call it a day. Cuz it was even some people in them comments who say it's like you can't you can't win because it might be a certain situation with a certain friend or home girl or developing friendship or whatever where you might confront a situation and you might express to them, hey, I didn't like how XYZ went and that person feels some type of way and the friendship still melt away, right? Or you could distance yourself quietly. You're not trying to have no confrontation. you don't want to overexlain because you feel like you're already not aligned and and the friendship still get dist and melt away. So, I just feel like we should all in our individual lives, we should just assess a situation that's going on in our life and we handle it how we see best to handle it. Assess your situation, not project whatever you went through, sister. I'm talking to you with the comment. Don't project whatever happened in your friendships on to me cuz you talking about y'all weird. I don't know who y'all is. If I feel like I have to constantly explain to someone how to show up as a friend, it starts to feel forced. And I just personally would rather be around or have friends that I'm naturally in alignment with and just naturally get it. The same way I would naturally show up for them is the same way that they would naturally show up for me. And there's nothing wrong with that. But you may not want to be friends with me because that's just how I think and that's just how I move. And that does not mean whoever the friend is, the home girl, the developing friendship, that does not mean that they're a bad person. It simply just means we're different. And that's okay. Okay. Boom.

[00:31:21]So, let's get into the next reason why you probably may not want to be my friend. You may not want to be my friend because I do not mix money into friendships. Respectfully, I'm not the friend that you can call and ask for money. And again, I'm speaking on experience. I've been there, done that with people who have asked me for money, asked to borrow money, and when it's time to give the money back that they borrowed, they done turned into Casper.

[00:31:45]I don't want to feel like I'm bothering you for my funds back. That's just not me, sister. And the main reason, too, is I don't do that with other people. Like, no friend that I have ever had, and God could strike me down right now, no friend that I ever had could ever say that I have asked them for money. In a lot of situations that I have been in personally, I have most of the time been the one mostly giving and rarely receiving. And at this point in life, I just feel like everyone should I feel like we're like I'm 28, so if I'm friends with anyone, they going to be around the same age as me or older. I feel like we should all have our financials together. We should have some sort of structure and financial discipline in our life to where we are not relying on our friends for money. I know hard times can come on all of us, okay? We all a paycheck away, okay? But that's just not me. Does that mean that I'm not generous? No, that doesn't mean that I'm not generous cuz I'm definitely generous. One thing I will do for my friends is when it's your birthday, when it's Christmas, when it's a special occasion, I will celebrate you. I will give you gifts. Like I had mentioned earlier, I've literally paid for one of my friends to attend my birthday dinner just because I wanted them to be there and they wasn't in the best place financially at the time. But I feel like it's a difference between choosing to give and expecting someone to give. And yeah, I'm not I'm not the friend who operates like that, unfortunately.

[00:33:15]And y'all know what kind of relates to that? when it's time for us to go out and do some whether we going out to eat, we're doing an activity, we're on a trip and we doing excursions. I'm the type of friend and some people may not agree which is why you may not want to be my friend. I'm the type of friend like we could just split the tab like evenly.

[00:33:37]Just split it 50/50 respectfully. Me personally, I just feel like that just makes things simple. Most of the time when I'm out with friends, family, whoever, we typically order the same amount of drinks. I mean, a mocktail for me at this point, unless it's it's my birthday or I'm out the country. But, um, we ordering the same amount of beverages. We probably sharing appetizers and we're probably tasting each other's food. So, I just feel like it's easier to just split the tab evenly. I don't expect nobody to just straight up pay for my meal. And I'm not paying for nobody's meal either, respectfully. I just like things to be balanced. No awkward calculations like, "Oh, >> I only got a drink and an appetizer, therefore, I'm only paying for my drink and my apple."

[00:34:26]>> First of all, you probably even wouldn't want to be my friend because I even Listen, we don't got the time for all of that. Like, we going out to eat. We getting whatever is on the menu and we splitting it down the middle. Okay? We just going to split that thing and keep it moving. So, let's get into the next reason on why you may not wouldn't want to be my friend. And that reason is lifestyle alignment. That's kind of been like low-key a little reoccurring theme in today's video, just the whole alignment topic. And I don't know about y'all, but almost a year ago at this point, I have given up my vices. For me, that was alcohol and really smoking. Oh, I'm probably going to blurt that out.

[00:35:10]smoking trees, smoking that ganja, smoking that zaza. And this is this is coming from a retired pthead. Someone who it was a certain point in my life I was waking up and smoking that thing. I was doing wake and bakes. I was doing it during lunchtime, before I ate, before I had to clean, before I went to sleep.

[00:35:28]Like I feel like it it was a real I don't want to say it's a problem, but I was very much abusing trees at a certain point in my life. I never been like, you know what I'm saying, a heavy drinker. I was more so of a person that did it socially if I was around certain people that did drink, but I've come to a point where I don't want to do either or. I I just don't want to do it. I may consider doing it if I'm out the country, but that's not often. So, that's that's what's going to be like what once a year. Okay. So, it's not it's not often.

[00:35:58]It's safe to say I'm on a different path of my life right now of being sober. I enjoy it thoroughly. My mind is clearer.

[00:36:06]I don't have brain fog. I'm healthier.

[00:36:08]My lungs feel clear. My sinuses feel clear. I'm not doing any damage to my stomach or my liver. That just goes to show too that your environment matters.

[00:36:18]You are the company that you keep. The company that you keep matters. Whether you realize it or not, the people in the company that you keep around you can and will influence you to doing things that you may not want to do. I don't know about y'all, but I have had moments in my life where I was participating in certain activities and doing things that I normally wouldn't do just because I was around certain people who were friends. So now at this point in my life, I'm very intentional. I'm into health, wellness, calm environments, and experiences that actually add to my life. Present day, I like to do things like go to the park, go to the gym, yoga, an art class, museums, nice restaurants. It's very much safe to say I'm not in my turnup era any mothering more. So yeah, you probably wouldn't want to be my friend at this point in my life because no, I don't want to go to the club with you. I don't want to go to a bar with you. And I damn sure don't want to go to no [ __ ] house party with you. Okay, I done learned my lessons. I'm good. I don't want to be in those environments because for me it's always some kind of drama that and I I don't want to be with the drama. I want to be very calm peace zen. I want to go you know what I want to go I want to go on like a yoga wellness retreat. Those that's what I'm into. But you know if you're into the turnup scene still and you my age or a little above that's fine. I'm not judging you. But it just means that we're probably not aligned and you probably would not want to be my friend cuz I'm not going there with you.

[00:37:46]I'm sorry. You might you might just think I'm boring, that I'm really stepping into my auntie era. And you know what?

[00:37:53]>> Wooty do.

[00:37:54]>> That's cool, cuz I'm happy with it.

[00:37:56]Really. Okay, now let's get into the next reason why you probably would not want to be my friend. And you probably would not consider being my friend because when I feel like it, let's let's be specific. Let's be clear. Let's be clear, okay? I'm not a people pleaser. I am a very transparent person and in certain situations I may be too honest to the point where I come off a little harsh and it's not always intentional but one thing I don't know how to be is fake or sugarcoat certain things. But yeah, if something don't sit right with me, I'm either going to say something or I'm just going to simply remove myself.

[00:38:39]That's just again how my chromosomes are set up. And especially too when it comes to my boundaries. If I say no, I don't want to do this. I'm not doing this. The answer is no. If you feel like you got to convince me, you have to sell me a dream. Maybe a later. Mm- It's not going to work out, sister or brother. It's It's not going to work out. And And I'm not afraid to tell my friends, "No, I'm not doing that. We not doing that. It's not happening." I'm realizing certain situations it may come off a little harsh. It may come off a little dismissive and I know that may not be for everyone. Some people may need softer delivery, flexibility, and I respect that, but it just means that we not align. And you probably wouldn't want to be my friend. You probably wouldn't want to be my friend. But yeah, y'all, I think this video is a decent length at this point. I feel like I've gone over all my points that I have wanted to go over for this video. So yeah, those are a few reasons why some of y'all watching probably would not want to be my friend. Or maybe some of y'all would want to be my friend for some of the reasons. Maybe some of y'all are aligned and like, "Nah, I feel you.

[00:39:50]I feel exactly what you saying." But whether you would or wouldn't, I'm okay with that. really. Um, it's it's okay because at this point in my life, I know that the goal isn't to be liked by everyone because before I even came on this internet, before I had my little platform that I have in real life, it was [ __ ] that didn't like me. It was a few [ __ ] that didn't like me. It was a few [ __ ] and and [ __ ] that I really didn't align with. But where I'm at now, my goal is to be aligned with the right people. If there's things about me that you don't like, that you don't agree with to the point where you just this is how you feel, you don't have to watch me. You can go. There's plenty there's so many creators on this app. But if it's to a point where you may not like certain things about me and you may disagree, but there's still other things that you like about me, so you want to stay in Lyand, you can. But if you're a person that nah, you you [ __ ] with it, you're aligned, you with everything, of course you can stay.

[00:40:52]But now I'm curious. Should I should I do like a part two of this? I don't know. Y'all let me know. Or should I flip it and do reasons why I wouldn't be someone else's friend? Cuz girl, I got some thoughts. Tell me what y'all think about some of the things that I have mentioned in this video. Make sure y'all are respectful because if you disrespectful, you will get blocked and I'm damn sure not argue with nobody. I said what I said. I meant what I meant.

[00:41:20]And if you feel some type of way, >> we do not care.

[00:41:24]>> Whoopde-doo. Okay, if you made it to the end of this video, put this emoji on the screen. Definitely do not forget to give it a big like, comment, and subscribe.

[00:41:33]And I'll see y'all on the next video.

[00:41:36]Later.

[00:41:40]Saving you is a heart of a woman.