My Experience With T1D.

[00:00:00]Hello everyone, welcome or welcome back to my channel. Today we will be talking about something I don't usually talk about. This is to bring awareness for type 1 diabetes and as well to share my experience with it. When this is posted, it will be the day of my diversary. Um, if you don't know what a diversary is, it basically means just like a diabetic anniversary. Um, this will be my third year of having type 1 diabetes. I was diagnosed July 19th, so yeah, happy 3 years. But yeah, hopefully this video can help people understand diabetes a little more uh or just maybe have someone to relate to if the viewer is diabetic. So yeah, this is kind of more of like a raw take. There's no script or anything. So I'm just going with the flow with this video. Though I did split up different topics into categories. So I will be reading in this specific order how long it's been, which is what I've said. what is type 1 diabetes, the physical effects, the mental effects, the social effects, and some benefits, and as well as my perspective on type 1 diabetes. So, without further ado, let's get started. So, what is type 1 diabetes? Um, type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disorder. It is often confused with type 2 diabetes, which is often associated with diet. Uh, type one is different. It often occurs in adolescence though um not always the case. I actually know of someone who is in their 30s and was recently diagnosed with type one. So basically what happened to my pancreas was my body just basically started attacking my pancreas basically and it stops the insulin production. So now I have to take insulin um externally like through syringes, insulin pumps, all that totally fun stuff. Not really. Um currently I am wearing the Omnipod 5. Um it has been much better for me personally than the pens. Uh I like it a lot more, but obviously every diabetic is different. Everyone has their own preferences on ways to intake insulin.

[00:02:13]But that's basically what diabetes is, at least type one. It's an autoimmune disorder. Uh, no matter what you eat, it's not going to cure it. You can't pray it away. Basically, stuff like that. It's just it happens and it's there forever. There are many physical effects that I face. Uh, first before you diagnosed, uh, a lot of diabetics usually face, you know, you have to drink a lot of water. So extreme thirst, uh frequent urination, um tiredness, there's so many there's so much stuff. Um personally, I had to drink water a lot, which is for me that was it was really weird because it was it was like I never drink water, but I don't think I've ever drank so much water in my life. like it was I I felt like I was constantly like I could not quench the thirst. It was it was horrible. Um I was really tired. I felt like I had zero energy all the time. Uh oh, also another side effect, really high blood sugar. Obviously, if you're not going to take insulin, your blood sugar will go up. So yeah, um insulin is a hormone that is produced by your pancreas and it lowers the blood sugar like when when you eat food or just if it's high, it'll lower it for you. But for type 1 diabetics, that is impossible because your pancreas stops producing that insulin. Um so since my body started slowly stopping producing insulin I was going really high and because of being so high uh I started facing those side effects which can be very dangerous. Um if you don't catch it early enough luck thank god for me uh I would I did not experience DKA. Hey editing me here quick note uh I did not explain what DKA is. Um, it stands for diabetic ketoacidosis. Hopefully I said that right. But when a diabetic lacks insulin, um, basically what happens is there's these things that form in the cells called ketones and they can be very life-threatening if not managed immediately.

[00:04:38]um if it keeps going on for too long, eventually it like damages your organs and that could basically make you end up dead. So, yay. So, thank God I didn't have those when I was diagnosed. But if you are under DKA, um it's very dangerous. Your life can be in danger.

[00:04:58]So, if you have those, please take care of yourself. Don't die. When I was diagnosed, my blood sugar was around 300 something. I forget the exact number but it was in between like 300 and 400. So I'm going to estimate maybe 330 350 something like that. That is an abnormal blood sugar. Um for a diabetic or anyone rather um the normal blood sugar range why do I forget this? Uh I'm pretty sure it is around 70 to 90 100 but I feel like around 70 to 90 is probably the correct blood sugar. Um, so my blood sugar being over 300 was a really bad sign. So I was hospitalized immediately.

[00:05:41]Um, and that's that was the day I got diagnosed with diabetes. So those are a lot of the physical side effects.

[00:05:49]There's obviously going to be more. It does vary per person. So um, please keep that in mind. Um, after diagnosis, uh, this happened to me. So, slight trigger warning for those who are sensitive with needles, blood, bruising, stuff like that. Due to my health devices, uh, currently I'm wearing the Dexcom G6.

[00:06:11]Soon I'll be switching to the G7 since they're being discontinued soon. Um, and I'm also wearing the Omnipod 5 as I mentioned before. Um because so when you insert it, there's a needle that goes through your skin like like this right here. Um it goes through your skin and for me I get a lot of bruising and like it's like scar maybe sometimes it's it for the most part they go away but those are that's like another I guess physical side effects. You will get bruises and scars from all the devices.

[00:06:48]Um, it actually connects to other physical issues. I actually have another autoimmune disorder called Hashimoto's.

[00:06:58]Um, but that's not part of this video right now. But what I'm saying is diabetes can also link to other autoimmune disorders. And also, I noticed I've been having a lot of feet issues, but that could just be because I have tightness in my calves. So, just saying like diabetes can link to other health disorders over time. Um, it's really not fun or other things could link to diabetes. So, when you get something, you basically get all of it. Um, unless you're like really lucky, I guess. But yeah, those are all the physical side effects at least for me. Like I said, it varies per person. Please do keep that in mind. Now, up for the mental side effects. Um this could also probably vary per person also depending on their lifestyle and how bad their diabetes is. Um personally for me the mental part of diabetes has had a much larger effect on me. I think it has really shaped me as a person. Um in my opinion I feel like it's equally as bad as the physical effects. So let's just jump right into that.

[00:08:09]So obviously when you first get diagnosed it's it's a really big shock when I was in the hospital. I didn't I didn't even cry. I didn't I didn't really react. I was just I was just in shock. So I was like uh okay. Yeah. I was just like not out of it, but it was just like what? And obviously at first I wasn't educated about it cuz I didn't really know much about it. So I was like worried like what if I can't eat this again? What if I can't do this again? And so it's just there's so many thoughts just basically racing through your head. It's so new. I never thought I'd be the type of person to really get a physical like disorder, but here we are. It's really hard. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. It I know I'm usually an optimi optimistic person and I really do try to make the best of diabetes. I I really do. But you can't deny as a diabetic it's it's hard especially emotionally and mentally the burnouts the misunderstanding.

[00:09:15]A big part of that big part about it I think um is stereotypes. I feel like a lot of people would be like oh can't you eat this? Oh blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. It's actually very annoying for me. Uh, one time I was in a theater class and my director I don't I don't think she really meant it in like a malicious way, but it just kind of threw me off. So, it was like a we were we like brought like candy and stuff and she was like, "Will you die if you eat this?" And yes, those were her exact words. She worded it like that. Uh, obviously I think it's okay to ask questions about diabetes. I mean, it's normal. Not everyone's going to know everything. I accept that fully. Um, but I feel like there could have been a nicer way to word it. Like like would you be okay to eat this? Are you comfortable? Like I don't know. Just something more positive, I guess, or at least neutral. Not if I'm going to die.

[00:10:17]Like no, I'm not going to die. I'll be fine. I also feel like socially it's really a struggle as so so say you're a person who has like just overall different beliefs, different a very unique perspective on the world, unique interests and you like just don't fit in anywhere. Say you're that and diabetic on top of that which no one seems to understand that person is me. [gasps] I feel like it's very difficult to talk to anyone about my diabetes.

[00:10:56]Like not like in a way where people are going to be judgy and mean. No one has been mean to me about my diabetes. I want to make that clear. [gasps] It just feels it makes me feel invisible basically. It I mean like no one I mean outside of like my family, no one has really asked me about it. No one's really like I don't know. I just I don't know if it's even because I'm diabetic, but I just it's it's honestly the most isolating experience I probably have ever felt.

[00:11:30]And I think it's okay to hate it.

[00:11:33]You know, like diabetes isn't me. It's a part of me, but it's not me. And I feel like I have every right to hate it. For me, I feel like it's taken so much opportunity away from me, but at the same time, it also kind of helped me. I feel like I've had such like I'm going to be honest, before I was diagnosed, I didn't eat that great. Like, I feel like I ate so much unnecessary sugar. I would always eat candy a lot. And I mean, it's fine once in a while, but I was lowkey starting to get getting like addicted to it. Like I wouldn't say I've been starting like an eating disorder, but like it was like just probably just a bad habit. I don't know. So I feel like that really saved me from future problems.

[00:12:16]So but then had to do with this. So yay.

[00:12:20]Um it has given me a unique perspective.

[00:12:26]I've always been empathetic to obviously disabled people, people with disabilities, you know, of all kinds.

[00:12:33]Always. I'm I'm a good person, guys.

[00:12:35]Trust. But like I feel like I don't know when you firsthand experience a condition it's it's so much different. It's so much more than you would expect really. It's in a way like I I love having a unique perspective but it's also like hell.

[00:12:56]I'm going to be honest. It doesn't feel great. Like, and I do have this little fear that I feel like people are only going to see me as a diabetic and nothing more, but it's not true. I mean, I'm so much more than diabetes. Like, literally, if you've seen my content before, you know. It's like, it's just I don't know. I don't I don't have anything else to say about that, honestly. Since the pandemic, I've been in online school, so I don't really talk to that many people anyways. But I mean, socially, I don't think I've ever gotten treated differently as a diabetic.

[00:13:36]Maybe sometimes my like I someone would make a joke about it. Uh, not often. And I really don't think it was meant to be rude. I I really don't. Um, but deep down it still hurts. I mean, I mean, I take accountability for a little because I kind of like I never really said it bothered me. I'm gonna be honest. I was just like, "Oh, like laughing along."

[00:14:03]But it sucks. Honestly, it really I think it's horrible when someone makes a joke about any illness or disability, unless if you're the person who has it.

[00:14:13]Like if I make a joke about my own um stuff, I feel like it's fine because I know what I'm comfortable with. But when other people do it, it's like, "Ew, you have no right." Like, I'm sorry. No, I don't. Like, I know your intention was probably to be funny, to make me feel better, but how is that going to make me feel better? No one has vocally ever treated me or harassed me about my diabetes. Uh, I don't think I've ever gotten any strange looks. Thankfully, actually, I don't know if this is really count, but when my Omnipod controller goes off, which it's kind of like a phone, but it's not. It's the shape of a phone, but it basically manages all of your settings, like how much insulin it gives, when to give it, blah, blah, blah. Um it sometimes it beeps like if a mode changes like if a certain thing changes if my blood sugars a certain number all that. So one time it beeped and sometimes people like look around the room like what is that? But honestly I'd probably do the same thing if I heard a noise like that. So I I I don't take that offensive at all. I I don't get embarrassed by that. I mean that's just that's what people are going to hear when they're around me guys and it's nothing I can do about it. But yeah, that part doesn't really bother me. But besides that, no one has really ever been like like curious, I guess, about my diabetes. Maybe people just want to mind their business or they just simply don't care. I I I don't know. Yeah. I feel like in the mental department, it's a lot stronger than the physical. It for me for me uh there are some benefits I have noticed.

[00:15:56]Like I said, my perspective has changed a lot on things like especially like maybe even like self value.

[00:16:08]Like I feel like just because I have this condition, it doesn't mean I am it. Like just because my blood sugars are wonky doesn't mean I'm wonky as a person.

[00:16:21]And I want you guys to know that too if you're also a diabetic watching this.

[00:16:25]like you are not your illness. You're not your disability. It's a part of you and it makes you stronger. I noticed that. It makes me stronger mentally and physically. It prepares me for what's next. It's not It's nothing to be ashamed of. I've never really been embarrassed of my diabetes.

[00:16:43]I think I feel like I'm more angry.

[00:16:47]Yeah. I feel like it's more anger and frustration than shame, which honestly I feel like I'd rather be that than shame if I'm being so for real. Uh anyway, another benefit. Um I get immediate health care. Like I don't know. I just like I know actually like a week ago I had to go to the hospital cuz like I was sick. Don't worry, I'm fine.

[00:17:12]Uh it was just like dehydration that I had to go for. Um, but I got care immediately cuz I'm a type 1 diabetic.

[00:17:20]So, you get like immediate care. I get to park certain places. I guess I Oh, another one. I get to have my phone in places where I can't. I get to bring food anywhere I want. Like, if I go to the movie theater, I can bring my own snacks for free. Like, not like from what they give me obviously. Like, I can't just like, "Hey, I want your food for free." Like, no. But I can bring my own stuff. And no one can do anything about it. Like in my like in school, I don't go anyway, but I could have my phone in class. I could have food in class. Like there are benefits to that.

[00:17:56]It's kind of nice, honestly. It's like h but um that's kind of it. Otherwise, it's it's finally um my overall perspective on type 1 diabetes. Uh, like I said, my experiences have really shaped me as a person. Uh, I've had some extreme lows and extreme highs that have not been fun. Mainly the lows. The highs, I mean, they're not fun, but I feel like they're not that bad. At least for me. But yeah, I feel like my experiences are kind of more mental than physical. Like I feel like my perspective on it, it's very it's very isolating. Like I said, it's probably one of the most isolating things I've ever experienced because also where I live there's really not I've only seen two diabetics in public.

[00:18:51]But they were like three times my age.

[00:18:54]So like why would I talk to them?

[00:18:56][laughter] But you know what I mean? Like it's like I've never seen someone my age with type 1 diabetes ever before.

[00:19:04]and like in person. But it's like wow.

[00:19:08]Like I know I'm not alone. Like there's millions and millions of people who have it, but if there's so many people who have it, why can I meet someone with it?

[00:19:16]I don't know. It just feels like nobody understands.

[00:19:20]I mean, I know there's people who are there for me, which thank you. Thank you so much, but that doesn't mean they understand. At least not fully. I don't think there will be anyone who will understand unless if they have what I have and have been through similar experiences. I wouldn't say to the point where it's like traumatic where I get really bad flashbacks, but there have some been really scary moments. Like one time my blood sugar was around 40, actually twice around 40, maybe three times. But the one time I was around 40, I couldn't bring it up for like an hour and I literally thought I was going to die. Like I'm not even kidding. I was really crying, like sobbing. I was really scared while chugging syrup, literally. I'm not even exaggerating. It was really gross, actually. But clearly, I'm still here for a reason, you know? Like, I'm meant to have this.

[00:20:14]I really feel like I'm meant to have this disease, disorder, whatever it is.

[00:20:23]Um, do I know why? No. But I feel like if I wouldn't be able to handle it, I'd be dead. So that's all I have to say about it. Okay.

[00:20:34]One thing I want to add also, yes, it is a new day. That's why I'm in a new outfit, a new hairstyle, and everything.

[00:20:39]Um, anyway, something I wanted to add was I feel like this is kind of more of a spiritual interpretation. I don't know if I made that clear enough, but I feel like I'm more like meant to have it because I'm the kind of person that turns their pain into power rather than just mobing about it. So, I feel like that's kind of what I meant by that.

[00:21:01]Like, I have I have it to use it for something greater, you know?

[00:21:09]I hope that that makes sense. And honestly, I'm very glad I'm finally doing it cuz I'm I'm going to be honest.

[00:21:15]I'm not going to lie. Um, it took me a lot a lot of strength to make this video because I feel like I'm so or I was so afraid of judgment. There's always this feeling of like kind of not dread, but it was just I don't know really how to explain it, but it was a really dark feeling. And that's why I feel like there's a call to like a higher purpose with this video because I feel like it grows it makes it helps me grow as a person and for this to reach the right audience. This video was not easy to make at all. Like I was really debating whether or not to post it in general. So I'm just really glad I'm finally listening to my truth and what my heart says to do. So that's that's also why I made this video. That's why I have this belief system that I have it for a greater purpose because I do stuff like this. Like it's just it's just what's happening and I have to be the one to make that happen. So yeah.

[00:22:25]Oh, actually I forgot to say something.

[00:22:28]Um for social effects, just so you know, people will probably end up leaving you.

[00:22:34]I know that's really sad and just the way I'm saying it so casually, but I feel like so many people have just ghosted me, have left me, not specifically because I'm diabetic. I don't like I know they don't hate me, but I noticed since I've been diagnosed, people have just become more and more distant.

[00:22:54]Maybe it's because they don't want to deal with whatever the heck I'm going through. Maybe it's because they're just trying to give me space, but I feel like it's a little too much space.

[00:23:03]Like I feel like I'm going to be honest like very important people in my life I feel like some of them not all of them don't worry I'm fine. I feel like some really like important people in my life have just like slowly drifted off.

[00:23:18]Like it's it's really sad honestly cuz like I I'm still me. Like nothing changed just my pancreas. I mean, like, why is it such a problem for people, if that's even the reason? I feel like I feel like since I've been diagnosed, people don't understand me anymore, literally. Uh, I haven't had like a best friend in years.

[00:23:49]I haven't had like many friends.

[00:23:52]I just seriously I think the main if I could label diabetes as one word it would be isolating.

[00:24:01]So that is my experience. Yay.

[00:24:07]I hope that you guys found this helpful.

[00:24:10]I hope you guys learned something. Um thank you for watching and taking the time to listen to me rant. Um, also I just want to make a note of something. National or National is it national? I don't know. But diabetes month is during November.

[00:24:29]So, I just want to bring that awareness.

[00:24:32]I'm not recording this in November. I I don't know. I just wanted to say that, guys. So, please spread more awareness.

[00:24:38]Thank you. Bye.