Resident Evil - Nostalgia Critic

Added: 2026-05-06

[00:00:00]This episode brought to you by Ridge, modern wallets made with premium material. Also brought to you by Shopify, the all-in-one commerce platform for businesses.

[00:00:11]>> [music] >> Resident Nostalgia.

[00:00:35]Channel Awesome Studio, one of our crew, Jim Jarosz, has gone missing. Reports of strange activity has been rising for Channel Awesome characters, as if they've been infected with some kind of evil, the resident kind.

[00:00:54]It was Jim's car crashed into the studio. You don't need to see it, trust me, it was [music] there. However, we soon discovered why.

[00:01:15]>> [screaming] >> CRITIC!

[00:01:20]NO, DON'T GO!

[00:01:42]HUNTER!

[00:01:43]RUN FOR THE LOUNGE!

[00:01:49]What's wrong with him? He's infected with something. PROBABLY THE SAME THING THEY'RE INFECTED WITH.

[00:01:57]MY GOD, THEY GOT MORE OF THE TEAM.

[00:01:59]CHESTER.

[00:02:00]JIM.

[00:02:02]ROB.

[00:02:03]That computer nerd I never gave a name to. Actually, it's Eunice. Eunice is a person named Eunice?

[00:02:10]What is it you want?

[00:02:17]They want you to review Resident Evil.

[00:02:20]But, that's ridiculous. You've reviewed those movies already, right?

[00:02:26]Right?

[00:02:28]Well, how have you never reviewed a Resident Evil movie? There's like six of them. Seven. Seven of them! Well, I just never had any interest.

[00:02:36]>> So, that's what's affecting them. The internet asked you so many times to review these movies, they literally became zombies. Well, we're not going to let them win. It's my show and I get to decide what I review AND DON'T REVIEW.

[00:02:46]ISN'T THAT RIGHT? OKAY.

[00:02:50]>> [music] >> Just have to get to my office.

[00:02:56]Stupid camera angle.

[00:02:58]Can you let me take TWO STEPS?

[00:03:02]YOU LITERALLY MADE ME TRIP OVER THE CAMERA.

[00:03:07]>> [music] >> OKAY, maybe I'm a little behind on this.

[00:03:23]It's not even that I had that many extreme thoughts on these movies or games being made. It's that I just didn't know the original source material. Oh, well. I literally tried playing the first game when it came out and it's embarrassing to say, but I couldn't get used to the constant changing camera angles. I didn't have a PS1, so I'd have to play it at a friend's house and I never played it long enough to get used to [music] the angles always changing. I played the remake of Resident Evil 2 and had fun with that, but I don't know if that makes me an expert on seven Resident Evil movies. Now, as it turns out, even the Resident Evil movies aren't experts on the Resident Evil games as the stories are almost entirely different.

[00:04:00]Some elements are the same with the basic setup, but as far as I can tell, these are entirely new characters. I didn't know this for a while, but I do now, so I guess it makes sense to finally give these films a watch. Since 2002, they've literally been making them for over 20 years, so it probably makes sense to see what it is about these movies that keeps people coming back.

[00:04:21]Maybe that'll finally calm down the horde. Open the door.

[00:04:25]>> [groaning] >> It's unlocked. Just the load time to open takes forever. Oh.

[00:04:43]I'm bored. That's literally too serious.

[00:04:52]Let's take a look at Resident Evil.

[00:04:55]The film starts off, I guess assuming Resident Evil fans can't read, as a narrator verbalizes the text. The Umbrella Corporation had become the largest commercial entity in the United States. It is the world's leading supplier of computer technology, medical products, and health care. I think it's safe to say these are going to be the good guys.

[00:05:19]While the movie's so afraid to present itself, it's doing it as slowly as possible.

[00:05:30]And that's the story of COVID.

[00:05:34]This is one of the labs Umbrella owns, a place with a hard fetish for the color blue, even though the logo is red and white.

[00:05:41][ __ ] Hey, what the hell is going on? It also looks like they got these scientists from a modeling agency as they seem to be all hot and no brains.

[00:05:47]That's why things like this probably happen.

[00:05:54]All right, so while that bit is pretty fun, it is a shame she's PG-13 to death off screen.

[00:06:00]Except that this is a movie that's rated R. Yeah, so it's probably a good time to bring up the director was Paul W. S.

[00:06:05]Anderson and he's just had the worst luck with this. His Alien vs. Predator film was forced to be PG-13. His Mortal Kombat film was forced to be PG-13 and even then, let's let's be honest, a PG.

[00:06:17]But then Horizon is an R and it still got edited down for being too gory. And the exact same thing happened here.

[00:06:24]He apparently went too gory and the studio said it was too much, even for an R rating. Christ, are these the same babies that gave Project Hail Mary a PG-13 because people died off screen?

[00:06:35]Oh, great. And our intro where I'm naked minus some white Saran wrap.

[00:06:41]Milla Jovovich plays Alice, a woman who wakes up with no memory of who she is.

[00:06:48]I'm always a sucker for when someone with no memory sees if their handwriting matches a note that's left for them.

[00:06:53]Honestly, I don't know why the movie didn't start here. I think this is actually a more engaging opening than every zombie intro we've ever seen.

[00:07:00]Hello.

[00:07:04]Oh, yes, birds are naturally afraid of a woman far away quietly whispering, "Hello."

[00:07:12]And leaves. Leaves are also particularly terrifying in this world. Are there zombies in this movie?

[00:07:17]She's grabbed from behind just as agents burst in and arrest the man who grabbed her.

[00:07:25]Oh, I should point out the score in this movie was done by film composer Marco Beltrami and Marilyn Manson. See if you can tell which one was composing at any given time.

[00:07:48]What the hell's GOING ON BACK I KEEP EXPECTING ONE OF THE AGENTS TO SHOUT, "FRANK, STOP PLAYING THAT THROUGH OUR HEADSETS AND GROW UP OUT OF YOUR GOTH PHASE ALREADY." This is like the intro before a music video starts. Who are you? I just transferred. They probably don't even HAVE ME ON FILE YET.

[00:08:04]I WAS SENT HERE to rock.

[00:08:09]Leeloo Dallas Multipass. Um, Leeloo Dallas Multipass. Matthew Addison. I'm not getting a match. The person who grabbed her is apparently a cop named Matt, played by Eric Mabius, who's clearly not trusted as he's taken captive by a soldier named Rain, played by Michelle Rodriguez. The transportation seems to be busted though, so Rain ends up fixing it.

[00:08:31]Hi. How's it going? YOU DON'T NATURALLY GREET PEOPLE LIKE THIS?

[00:08:37]THEY FIND ANOTHER GUY NAMED SPENCE, played by James Purefoy, who Alice seems to recognize through early 2000s editing that I'm really glad died with this decade. Yeah, let's make it look blurry, overexposed, and like a freeze frame. No, really, they're going to use this forever. It won't just be an annoying fad and instantly date Fellowship of the Ring. Now, how many fingers am I holding up? Three. Now, tell me your name.

[00:08:59]>> I I don't know.

[00:09:02]He's fine. He didn't get a script either, so he's as clueless as the rest of us.

[00:09:07]Rain leads their journey underground with another soldier named One, played by Colin Salmon, where they explain what's going on. We all work for the Umbrella Corporation. The mansion above us is an emergency entrance to the hive.

[00:09:18]You are security operatives placed there to protect that entrance. I think I've used this joke in the past, but screw it, there's no better comparison. Scott sounds like Pee-wee Herman as the bellhop in Big Adventure.

[00:09:27]>> Secondary effects have varied, but can include acute memory loss, an hour, day, week. Mr. Herman, you have a telephone call at the front desk. They're told Alice and Spence are undercover agents whose marriage was a cover in order to protect an underground research facility called the hive. Their memory loss came from a nerve gas that for some reason the hive computer system known as the Red Queen used as a defense mechanism.

[00:09:49]So, you're saying this place was attacked?

[00:09:51]>> I'm afraid things are a little more complicated than that. All All was the camera operator drunk riding a merry-go-round? Because I haven't listened to what they're saying, I just want to throw up my hands AND GO, "WHEE!"

[00:10:01]GOT IT.

[00:10:04]MY GOD, THEY BROUGHT THE WHOLE CITY UNDERGROUND.

[00:10:10]Looks like we're taking the stairs.

[00:10:16]Really trying to make stairs exciting, aren't you?

[00:10:19]Honestly, that's the biggest problem with the movie so far. A lot of mysteries already explained that people with memory loss don't have much personality because they don't know their personalities. And the agents, aside from Rodriguez and Salmon, aren't interesting in the slightest. So, they really have to make nothing going on look like something going on. Even when you see this drowned lady, aren't you like, Hey, you okay?

[00:10:40]Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. We know that it's coming. Just open your eyes. It's not going to be scary. We're just looking and not even listening to what they're saying cuz we're waiting for her to open her eyes. My god, you're wasting so much time. Open your eyes. OPEN YOUR >> [screaming] >> I'M DOUG WALKER, JUST BEING DOUG WALKER, AND MY WALLET'S GONE.

[00:11:12]WALLET, WHERE ARE YOU, YOUNG MAN? I'm running away from home, Dad. No. Yes.

[00:11:16]No. Yes. No. Yes. Okay. Yes. No. I just feel lost. I feel so lost, Dad. Wallet, you will never be lost because you're a Ridge, and you have the Ridge tracker card, SO I ALWAYS KNOW WHERE you are.

[00:11:26]Yeah, I know. It's just that I'm feeling emotionally lost, you know? I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. You don't need to feel emotionally lost. You have a unique, slim, modern design that holds up to 12 cards plus cash. You're made with premium materials like aluminum, titanium, and carbon fiber, and you have over 50 colors and styles to choose from, Wallet. I know, but But what? I have a lifetime warranty, so I'll literally be the last wallet you ever buy. I see. The pressure of being that amazing carries a lot of amazing pressure, doesn't it? Amazingly so.

[00:11:52]Well, did you know that all Ridge wallets come with an RFID blocking technology, keeping you safe from digital pickpocketers? Also, there's over 100,000 five-star reviews. Yeah, I know. You're just saying that for the sponsorship. Well, IT SHOULD MAKE YOU FEEL SAFE. IT DOES. GREAT. WONDERFUL.

[00:12:07]DEAL.

[00:12:10]CAT.

[00:12:11]For a limited time, our viewers get 10% off at Ridge by using the code Nostalgia Critic at checkout. Just head to ridge.com and use the code Nostalgia Critic, and you're all set. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them, so please support our show and tell them we sent you. You know, Dad, I am going to come home. I have so many fun memories. Is this a segue to the next sponsorship? I learned from the past. No, you didn't. You learned from me.

[00:12:34]>> [laughter] >> I remember when you used to get so frustrated taking me out whenever you do shopping online. Oh, yes. Having to remember the login and the password and always getting out my card from you.

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[00:13:34]Have you been working on that sound effect? No, first time. Liar. Yeah, I'm a liar. But we're not lying about this.

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[00:13:45]Go to shopify.com/nostalgia.

[00:13:47]That's shopify.com/nostalgia.

[00:13:50]Excellent job on that sound effect again. Now, come on home. I am. I only got as far as the garage. Oh, you disappointment. And I mean your character, not actually the product, because that would totally be going against what we're trying to do here.

[00:14:02]No, I get it. You're an awful dad. Thank you. AND YOU'RE NO LONGER MY SON.

[00:14:11]There may be survivors.

[00:14:12]Give me a search line, but keep it tight. Oh, and those of you without guns, um, good luck.

[00:14:24]You ever have a kid in school who looked emotionally intense, so somebody would ask, "Why do you look emotionally intense?"

[00:14:29]The security system is at it again, though, as lasers chop up our heroes.

[00:14:35]All right, I don't know if I can show this moment on YouTube, but what does look a little bit like they just photoshopped her head off. It does at least give me a moment where I can go, "Okay, that was at least a little R-ish." I think that's what they should have been rated, a little R-ish.

[00:14:50]But they make it lame again by not only killing off one of the only characters ahead any personality, but doing so in a way that again should be awesome, but just comes across as annoyingly PG-13 and fake as hell. When the deaths in the PS1 game are looking more real and gruesome, there's probably an issue.

[00:15:09]Um, who's next?

[00:15:17]Has anyone here ever interacted with another human? It's okay. Let my cold, dead grip be as comforting as my cold, dead eyes. Every early 2000s horror has to have a creepy kid, so there she is.

[00:15:28]Get out. Get out. You can't be in here.

[00:15:30]She's a holographic representation of the Red Queen, modeled after the head programmer's daughter.

[00:15:35]Is that really the best the system and the people who programmed the system could do?

[00:15:39]For a real fail-safe that would trick people, how about programming it so that mimics the original programmer or the head of the company? Honestly, anyone other than a little kid looking like she's ready for bed e by, I would take more seriously.

[00:15:51]You're all going to die down here.

[00:15:54]Literally how it went every time they tested the Virtual Boy.

[00:15:57]The system is rebooted, but unfortunately, SO ARE THE DEAD.

[00:16:01]>> [screaming and groaning] >> ALL RIGHT, WE GET TO ADD MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ TO THE actors who die more than live club.

[00:16:12]I've come to add nothing. My job is completed.

[00:16:17]They're approached by more fake as hell CG gore, but to their credit, it is at least a little creative. Asmay finally manages to break free and help.

[00:16:30]All right, that was a good moment.

[00:16:32]I love it cuz you don't know if he got killed off or if something else happened like, Ooh, piece of candy.

[00:16:39]She stumbles across some bloodhounds as she tries to figure out how to fight them off.

[00:16:49]Did her staring blankly down at her gun really require a slow-mo shot?

[00:16:53]Jovovich apparently really did this stunt on her own, which is pretty awesome, but it's edited in a way that it looks like she didn't. It'd be like if Tom Cruise did a stunt while wearing a Halloween mask. I don't think you know how to exploit the coolness of this.

[00:17:11]Sorry, somebody left the industrial rock washing machine on.

[00:17:16]I guess Matt wasn't taken out. He just disappeared to make that cool shot a cool shot. And he's approached by someone zombie masking.

[00:17:25]No, really. I WASN'T AFFECTED AND BRAINS, I WANT BRAINS.

[00:17:31]WE FIND OUT THIS IS MATT'S SISTER AS I guess he explains in more detail why he's there, but it's so soft, I can barely make it out. There are hundreds of thousands of us who think the same all over the world.

[00:17:44]There's no way I could have been infiltrated though.

[00:17:47]Then all the red flags would have gone off.

[00:17:50]Quantico, NSA, ViCAP. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:17:57]So, why didn't SHE MAKE IT?

[00:17:58]>> AH, [screaming] SHE TALKS!

[00:18:00]YEAH, YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED Jovovich doesn't really do or say much in a lot of the film. And that's because Rodriguez had the majority of action scenes, and I guess there can only be one tough chick in a movie, so Jovovich didn't have much to do. And after she told the director she wanted to do more fighting, Rodriguez had her action scenes scaled down while Jovovich had hers ramped up.

[00:18:20]You can tell when they made these changes because Alice seems like a completely different character. As when if she's supposed to do something that looks badass, she seems invested. That homicidal [ __ ] may be our only way out of here. That circuit breaker you're talking about, can you bypass it? And when she's not, she looks like someone being shown a film set for the first time, but trying to act like she's not impressed.

[00:18:41]Uh-huh. Cool, I guess. Whatever. I'm dating the director, so I'm above all this.

[00:18:54]Oh.

[00:18:55]Guess there was a zombie chase scene we didn't need to see.

[00:18:59]In the zombie chase movie?

[00:19:01]They try to talk with the computer to see if they can figure out how these zombies work. They are driven by the most basic needs. Which is? The need TO FEED.

[00:19:11]WOW.

[00:19:12]THEY'RE TOLD GOING FOR THE HEAD AND NECK WORKS BEST, SO THEY decide to take them on.

[00:19:20]For that one moment, that zombie was okay with the choices that led to his death.

[00:19:27]Christ, it's like Disney adults when Nightmare Merge drops. You like the way it tastes, don't you?

[00:19:34]I will say, I actually do like the way the zombies move in this.

[00:19:37]They're still slow, but there's something very impulsive about how quick and strong their arms are. Almost like their upper bodies have more strength, but their lower bodies have less. It does make the movie uniquely and come across as more intimidating.

[00:19:51]Hold on.

[00:19:54]I want you to go.

[00:19:58]Oh, no, not what's-his-name.

[00:20:02]No, man, [snorts] he's going to kill himself. Oh, wait, he didn't. What a great 2-second fake out for a character I don't even think I mentioned the name of because he has a little an impact.

[00:20:12]Look for the virus screen for the antivirus.

[00:20:16]Screen for the antivirus.

[00:20:18]You forgot your sound effect.

[00:20:21]Alice remembers they were working on a cure because she was the contact Matt sister was talking with to expose Umbrella's evil ways. But, unfortunately, Spence gets his memory back, too, as it turns out he was the one that killed everybody in the hopes of selling the virus on the black market. No, not Spence. I knew so much about him like he didn't know much about himself. Come with me. Money's out there [music] waiting.

[00:20:41]You wouldn't believe how much. There were so many sequels we can coast off of.

[00:20:48]He says the antivirus is on the train.

[00:20:49]Just as another zombie reveals herself and bites it. He manages to escape, but something seems off when it gets to the train.

[00:20:57]Wait a minute. Health, bullets, a lot of space. There's a boss battle coming, isn't there?

[00:21:05]>> [screaming] >> Can we just take away your R rating?

[00:21:09]This whole movie is that Steve Buscemi meme if he said, "Hello, fellow gory films." One of the Hive's early experiments produced by injecting the T-virus directly into living tissue. You think the scientists who worked there had to interact with that computer while it had that voice?

[00:21:24]Cuz I feel like that would become pretty distracting pretty fast. Were they like, "Hey, Red Queen, what were the results of that diagnostic?"

[00:21:30]>> The results were inconclusive, and after I watch an episode of Peppa Pig, I will conclude the rest of the study.

[00:21:36]>> Anyone else creeped out by this? I'm creeped out by this.

[00:21:41]What's-his-name from earlier helps them escape. Oh, wow, that forgettable character really did matter. Guess he's not going to die later. But, Spence sees if he can make one more go at their relationship.

[00:21:50]I'm missing you already.

[00:21:52]>> [groaning] [music] >> Even the axe choppy had to cut away from. I've seen MUPPET BABY EPISODES MORE GORY THAN THIS.

[00:22:01]Don't ask which ones.

[00:22:03]Rain is given the antivirus, but it looks like they got it to her too late.

[00:22:06]Rain?

[00:22:08]Rain?

[00:22:10]You were the true hero of this mission.

[00:22:12]>> Yeah, I wish someone told you that.

[00:22:15]The monster tries to break in at the same time Rain turns.

[00:22:18]>> [snorts] >> Thank god they show that in slow mo or else I wouldn't see how effectively that did nothing.

[00:22:29]They managed to kill them both off. Oh, yeah, what's his name dies, too, but it happened so jumbled and fast I couldn't make it out the first two times I saw it.

[00:22:37]Oh, there it is.

[00:22:38]Horribly shot, but it looks like Matt is infected and the bad guys from ET want them. Somehow the movie is still going, I think just as an excuse to get her naked again except for some white pasta.

[00:22:48]But, I'm going to take a wild guess and say they couldn't keep the virus contained.

[00:22:58]All right, I will admit that was a pretty damn cool final shot.

[00:23:02]I just wish it was in a pretty damn better final product.

[00:23:07]Honestly, I can't even bring myself to get that many heavy emotions around this. I guess some people really like it and some people think it's garbage and I just can't muster the passion for either side. I guess I lean towards it's not good mainly because of the lackluster character interactions and some of the style choices, but the story's all right when you look at how it's structured.

[00:23:28]There's a few cool things like I do enjoy the way the zombies move and there's a definite visual voice to it, but I just found a lot of it really generic. However, something about it, whether it's so good, so bad, or maybe a little bit of both, really seemed to connect with people cuz like I said, they're still making these movies. I wish I could understand that passion.

[00:23:48]Maybe I got to play the games more, but for all the people asking for so many years for me to review it, I'm sorry to say my big reaction is just meh.

[00:23:56]Maybe the sequels get crazier, I don't know, but as far as this one goes, I can't give it anything but a Resident shrug.

[00:24:05]There. I reviewed it.

[00:24:07]You happy now? Review.

[00:24:11]Review what? What else have you been asking for? Sonic.

[00:24:14]Sonic what? Anything Sonic.

[00:24:18]Uh Anything.

[00:24:23]>> [music] >> Is that really your top speed?

[00:24:36]I'm on a nostalgia break, I guess.

[00:24:38]I'm going to go make some coffee.

[00:24:42]You want any?

[00:24:43]Decaf, please.

[00:24:50]The neat feet.

[00:24:56]I'm still doing cameos for charity and this year I'm still going to keep the charity Solve ME/CFS. For those who aren't aware, I have chronic fatigue syndrome I got 2 years ago and while it is slowly getting better, I don't have it nearly as bad as other people do. It can definitely take its toll and have an impact on many things. Needless to say, it spiked big after COVID. A lot more people got it and there's still not much known about it. But, organizations like this are finding out more and more and discovering how to treat people with it.

[00:25:23]So, if you want a cameo of me saying happy birthday or good luck or whatever, click on the link below and be giving to a good cause. And if you're like, "No, you're an anus and I don't like you."

[00:25:31]Well, I'd consider giving to this organization anyway. They work long and hard to figure out as much as they can with a disease we've barely scratched the surface of. So, please consider coming together to help them help many more.