You must fight the temptation to isolate over 40

Added: 2026-05-22

[00:00:00]Just a quick little vid to say hi.

[00:00:03]That's all. Driving home from table for one.

[00:00:08]And uh I saw the weather report. Now I'm in the Philly region. And I saw that Harrisburg was getting hammered with rain, like really hard rain. Trees down on the turnpike, that whole thing.

[00:00:23]Traffic backed up and that it was working its way east towards East Coast.

[00:00:28]So, it's just hitting Philly now. And the trees are bending sideways in the wind.

[00:00:35]I knew it was coming. I wore a hat and I have a raincoat tied to my waist. I was thinking about solitude and I was watching a video on how socialization is really healthy for you as you get older. And when I say as you get older, I would say um over 40.

[00:00:57]Because if you've had so many letdowns, if you're divorced, if you've gone through breakups, you're like, I just want to be alone, you know? I don't want to be around people. If you're a woman, woman say, I don't want to be around men. Or I'm sick of men. Or if you're a dude, I'm sick of women. I'm just tired of their You know, you know, you know the attitude. And the reality is you can become a hermit. You can go into monk mode. I I went into monk mode for years.

[00:01:28]Literally years. I was in monk mode. I was in St. St. Francis of Aisi mode where my only friends were animals at one point in my life.

[00:01:39]But it was finite. There was a beginning of it and an end to it. And I had to kind of work my way back out into being social. And then as I get older, I just enjoy my solitude.

[00:01:52]When I was a drinking man, an oldfashioned, a bourbon, a cigar, or a pipe, and that would be a whole evening for me. I just, you know, now that I don't drink, I do I do miss the ritual and I do miss the taste of bourbon because I was one of those guys.

[00:02:12]Even though I got the Italian in me, you think I'd be liking wine, which I like wine for dinner, but I don't drink anymore.

[00:02:20]The men in my family, we love whiskey.

[00:02:22]We love our whiskey and our bourbon.

[00:02:25]I don't know if it's genetic, if it's nature or nurture. I have no idea.

[00:02:29]Anyways, October 1st will be two years without alcohol for me.

[00:02:37]Pretty cool. And I'm feeling pretty good. Good. Anyways, socialization. Back to the topic.

[00:02:44]One of the factors for decompensation and cognitive decline for anyone over 40 is when you isolate. And that we need interaction with human beings. God said in the Garden of Eden, "It's not good that man be alone. I will make a helpmate for him." So God created women.

[00:03:04]He must have had something different in mind than what we are experiencing today. I truly believe that.

[00:03:14]I can imagine that Eve was was a good wife. She was made by God for specifically for Adam.

[00:03:23]You hear that rain? This is just the beginning of this storm. And I'm driving home from uh table for one right now.

[00:03:45]But the table for one lifestyle is so satisfying for me. And as I wrote in an editorial yesterday or the day before about riding solo on a motorcycle and I used to look for motorcycles that had a good robust uh back seat, you know, cuz I always considered the wife or a girlfriend on the back of the bike, you know, once or twice a month out on a Sunday afternoon I now and and I always love riding by myself, too. But here's the thing.

[00:04:26]I now love solo riding, which feeds into my pathology of isolation and being antisocial.

[00:04:35]You know, you get invited to a party and then the party's canceled and you're like, "Woo, I almost had to socialize."

[00:04:41]Right?

[00:04:44]And then you get to a point where you have to force yourself to socialize.

[00:04:49]And if dudes, if you're a player, like I was, socializing always meant meeting needing women.

[00:04:59]Always.

[00:05:00]You'd walk in, you scan the room, you lone wolf it.

[00:05:06]And to be able to separate socializing from hooking up is a task for a lot of guys, especially if you're a player, because socializing always meant hooking up always or getting a phone number or whatever.

[00:05:28]And it's taken me years to kind of separate the two, separate the whole concept of socializing with hooking up. Now it's different. And I think just because the libido has decreased. Thank god that's over with.

[00:05:47]Socializing. I can enjoy socializing just for the socializing alone. If it's a mixed group of men and women, if it's a a men's group, if I'm somewhere and it's like mainly women, it doesn't matter. The socialization is what matters, not the outcome. And I wrote about this in the editorial that I just posted 20 minutes ago. If you want to read that, that's where I uh got kicked out of two singles groups. I was hogging up all the women. I am the only man that I know that got kicked out of two singles groups for what reason? For the reason that you go to a singles group to meet women.

[00:06:28]Isn't that crazy? Not because of bad behavior. Not because I was drinking or doing anything stupid. I was doing what you do when you go to a singles group and meet people. Kicked out of two groups. That was about 10 years ago.

[00:06:42]Thank God that's over with, too.

[00:06:46]But socialization is so important for you. Especially if you're a lone wolf, especially if you're a guy that's gotten burned, you need socialization. I'll tell you why. Because your knee-jerk first reaction is to isolate.

[00:07:04]Trust me, there's a time and place for everything.

[00:07:08]There's a time to be alone. There's a time to socialize. And there's a time to have human bonds. Are you going to go out and make lifelong friends after 40?

[00:07:20]I don't you you know you might. I tend to be friends with people from high school and college, that kind of stuff.

[00:07:28]Uh very few friends. Uh after uh Craig killed himself, I just stopped making friends because I said I'm done with friends. It just uh it really just I never had a friend take his life like good a good friend. This wasn't like an acquaintance like Craig was like my best friend and man it rocked my freaking world. Unbel like like I can't even begin to tell you and I started isolating at that point and I said that's it. That's when I started calling people friendly acquaintances five years ago. Greg's been dead for five years.

[00:08:02]And I started calling people friendly acquaintances instead of friends. The whole like the whole thing of uh like Facebook where you friend somebody, you know, I remember asking my mother or telling my mother something like, "Yeah, I have this friend." And she cuts me off mid-sentence and she goes, "A a real friend or a Facebook friend?" Right?

[00:08:23]Because I think it's brilliant marketing that Facebook uses the word friend. But also think about this. When somebody goes off your Facebook page, what is it called? You got unfriended.

[00:08:40]Where in life have we ever been unfriended before? He unfriended me. She unfriended me. Like how weird. Let me ask you this. Were they ever really friends to begin with? Right?

[00:08:56]People talk about, "Yeah, I got this friend and now I'm talking like my mother and I'm like a real friend or an online friend." You know, there is a difference.

[00:09:06]And that is why I'm leaning towards starting a uh a group, a cohort of men that get together, not only online in a Zoom call, like a a monthly or weekly face Zoom face to face meeting, but also face to face in real life at diners, restaurants, motorcycle rides, that kind of thing. That just makes such a difference. There's so many of you that I have friended and you have friended me and we've learned to trust each other, talk to each other. I call many of you on the phone. I surprise a lot of people and say, "Hey, email me and give me your number." And guess what? I will call you. I will call you and we will talk.

[00:10:00]What was that Liam Niss movie? Remember where he said, "I will find you and I will kill you." Remember that the dude that kid kidnapped his daughter? I think the movie was called Taken.

[00:10:12]Well, let me uh echo that. I will find you and I will friend you. How's that sound?

[00:10:22]Socialization is so important and I'm so so thankful for everybody, even the people that cause a hard time.

[00:10:30]and give me a hard time because it makes me think. Intelligent people make me think. Idiots just make me block them. But intelligent people make me think.

[00:10:44]And I don't mind disagreement as long as it's uh respectful.

[00:10:48]All right, I'm in the driveway now. It's pouring rain. The thunder and lightning has started.

[00:10:56]And I think I'm going to go sit in the shed, have a pipe, and relax and enjoy myself, get a good night's sleep, hit the gym first thing in the morning.

[00:11:10]And it's going to be a good few days.

[00:11:12]And we have what a holiday coming up. We have Memorial Day this coming weekend.

[00:11:16]So, it's a three-day weekend for a lot of people.

[00:11:20]And I hope you get together with people.

[00:11:22]I hope you get together with at least one person, cook outside, make some burgers and hot dogs and sit on a back deck somewhere or a patio and have a nice meal and chat.

[00:11:35]If you drink, drink up. If you don't drink, enjoy your iced tea or your soda.

[00:11:40]That kind of thing. So, those those are my thoughts for right now. And this video is brought to you by elite researchusa.com where I get my peptides from. Little commercial there for that. But I'm wishing you a fantastic Memorial Day weekend. Uh there will be a Daybreak show this week and I hope to see you soon.