i was ready to leave paris... until this day changed everything 😭 (living alone in paris at 30 🇫🇷)

Added: 2026-05-05

[00:00:10]It's Friday.

[00:00:14]It's a beautiful sunny day in Paris. It is the school holidays. Let's go say goodbye to everyone and let's go spend a sunny day in Paris, shall we? We just She's like Ronald McDonald up in here.

[00:00:30]So, it was officially 31 weeks and 1 day since I'd moved to Paris.

[00:00:36]And the sun was shining, baby. Sun is shining and so are you.

[00:00:47]And much like Mickey Bubbles, I was feeling good.

[00:00:58]Got a bit too into that, didn't I? And even though I had a rather big decision hanging over my head about do I stay or do I go now? Because if I stay, there will be money troubles, but if I go, I will be miserable. So, I was being a very sensible adult and ignoring all of my problems.

[00:01:19]Good morning. Right. I'm currently got one shoe on. So, I'm like hobbling around.

[00:01:25]I'm like a little hobgoblin. Where's the other shoe? Oh, where's my shoe gone?

[00:01:30]I've only got one shoe. Oh, the other shoes on there. Oh, there you are. There they are. There you are. There you are.

[00:01:35]P. There you are. Oh, suddenly gotten a bit too boisterous and feel a bit nauseous. The sun is shining. The tank is clean. The tank is clean. It's a nice beautiful day. And guess what, baby?

[00:01:46]It's Friday. I'm not working tonight. It is now the school holidays for 2 weeks.

[00:01:51]I say it's the school holidays. I'm going away with my Opair family. I'm going skiing. Yeah. Just going to let that sink in for you. I'm going skiing.

[00:01:59]I'm I'm going to die. But uh we'll we'll we'll get to that hill when it comes to it. Closely related to a giraffe on ice anyway when I'm not on ice. So imagine me on snow. I'm scared. I'm scared. It's my own personal hell. I I'm not a cold person. I grew up in goddamn Hong Kong and India. heat. When I'm a British woman in the cold when that's what I have to live every damn day of my life.

[00:02:21]Get me into the heat. I want a hot. I want a hot and steamy. A hot and steamy like dreamy. That would kill at a Grey's Anatomy conference. Yeah, we're going skiing. So, I was terrified with that, but you'll come with me for that. So, heyi ho. But because of that, I've got a week skiing with my family, with my Opair family, and then I'm going home on the Tuesday. I managed to get a snap to get home. It was like the last one that you could get and it was €30. So, I'm going home. She's going home. She's going home. Tell the world she's going home. And I'm trying to basically run away from all my responsibilities. Have I made a decision of the biggest decision of one of my biggest decisions of my life? No, I haven't. No, I haven't. No, I really haven't. Should I?

[00:02:59]Yes. But I'm being a responsible adult and doing as everyone else does, just pretend their their issues aren't there.

[00:03:05]On a positive note, my French teacher today, I had French lesson this morning, but she said, "My French is coming along really, really well." Really, really well. She was like, "You're actually putting sentences together." I'm like, "Yeah, I know. I'm feeling it. I'm feeling positive with it. I feel really like, yeah, come on. I feel like I can start to do this." Have I made my decision? No. Do I still not know what to do? Yeah. I still don't know what I'm doing with life in general. And all I care about is the sun is shining. The sun is shining and so are you.

[00:03:31]X. Is that in g XL? Someone out of this house did that one. Anyway, uh, today is a day of goodbyes, of see you later to go and say goodbye to everyone.

[00:03:41]Basically, we all do this. We act like as if I don't know if it's the international kid. I don't know if it's the expat community that do this that when you go on holidays cuz it used to be like this whenever we used to go away on school holidays that you make such a big deal. Even though you know in England you just kind of go like, "All right, see you later. Have a enjoy your holiday." It's like you have to go see everyone. You have to be like, "Oh my god, I'm going to miss you." It's really weird. I don't know if it's the expat community. It does that. It was like it when I lived in Hong Kong, but like you it's almost like you're worried you're not going to see them again because you're so used to like people just randomly going, "Yeah, by the way, I'm I leave next week." So, it's kind of like you don't know if someone's going to go on holiday and while they're on holiday, something's going to happen and you're going to be like, "Okay, well, I'm never I'm not going to see you again." So, I don't know what it is, but yeah, like we're going to go say our goodbyes. We do it every single time there's a big holiday. We're all like, "I'm going to miss you. I'll see you soon. I love you." And yeah, it's kind of nice. I feel like we need to show that appreciation. And I think since moving abroad what really has done and I really struggled with this when I was back in the UK it was just kind of like people were so disposable in the UK but when you're abroad because you don't have your family or your home comforts any people become like valuable in your life whereas when I was in the UK I really struggle that because that's what I've grown up with like your friends are your lifelines like your friends your the people your loved ones that's why my family I think are genuinely so close because I've not really seen other people with the closest on my family apart from people who've lived abroad and it's like people genuinely become so important in your life and it's the same here because everyone's, you know, they're away from home and even though it's only just across the pond, you know, a lot of my friends are English, it's such a different shift in culture and you don't speak the language and stuff. So, it's really tricky. So, you do really like latch on to the people that do matter to you and so here it's really lovely because it's kind of like that expat feeling where it's like people mean so much to you here. Yeah.

[00:05:20]That's why it's really nice because, you know, we all just go away on holiday and then we all act like we're not going to see each other again, but we do. But it's like we show so much appreciation here which I really really love. I don't know. I've had quite a few people reach out to me and ask like how have you made friends since moving there. I feel like I I do think I'm very very lucky with making friends here because all of my friends are my followers. Like literally every single one minus Moles. Moles is the only one that is not my followers.

[00:05:46]So Molly I met on Facebook because um I was going to take her apartment last summer and I didn't end up taking it cuz I took my other place. But then she said like, "Hey, like if you want to if you you know you're not taking my place, but it's really hard in Paris when you first move here. Like it's always nice to have English friends, so if you want to go for a drink, let me know." And we did.

[00:06:03]And then we've kind of been inseparable ever since. And then like everyone else has kind of been my followers. So Georgia is actually YouTuber. She's came from YouTube subscriber. So she actually was moving here and she searched moving in Paris. I was the first one that came up my crazy stuff and she was like, "She's my vibe." She reached out to me.

[00:06:19]So we went for a drink. Audrey was also a follower. She followed me on Instagram and she reached out and was like, "Hey, do you want to go for a drink?" Uh, is that all my friends? I've got like all those are my main, that's my core group and then I've got like other people that pop in and out and stuff. Some, you know, what I would say trying to make friends here is really like you have to put yourself out of your comfort zone.

[00:06:38]I've spoken about it before. I did a whole video about it, but you really do have to put take yourself out of your comfort zone. You can watch that, by the way, up here if you want to watch it.

[00:06:44]Whole video about how to make friends.

[00:06:45]You have to if you see someone living in Paris and you really like their energy, like just reach out to them. Like people don't think you're weird. like people are not going to think and if they do they're not your right feed. Do you know what I mean? Like anyone who reaches out to me I'm like yeah let's go for a drink. There is a lot that you can do here to make friends. So if you are feeling lonely it is like there's some bits that you can do to really help help you get there. But it's also really important to just like I'm I'm crazy with it. Like I just will literally if I speak to someone for about 2 minutes afterwards I'm like let me get your Instagram or let me give you my number and we'll go for a drink sometime. And then I actually follow through with it.

[00:07:14]So, that's how I've always that's how I'm like quite good with making friends is that no matter how quickly I meet you, I'm like, "Let's get a drink." Even like there's some girls that I've met recently with like being an Opair that I'm literally like we sat and had a chat in the park one time for like 10 minutes. I was like, "Let me give you my Instagram. Give me like let me just have a chat. Let's go let's have a let's go for a drink next time." So, yeah, it's really lovely. I've started to like I've really got like a nice little base here.

[00:07:35]It's really really cool. And it is that case of like people are out of their comfort zone. So, people are more accepting to make friends. I do find it a lot easier to make friends here than in the UK. I really did struggle with that with all my time being in the UK because I'm used to the expat lifestyle.

[00:07:47]So yeah. Anyway, let's go say bye to those [ __ ] Good riddensgo amigo. Um or so long farewell and good night to you and yeah, let's go do that. Slay.

[00:07:57]Can you tell I'm feeling so much better today because I'm ignoring my problems.

[00:08:03]She's 30 years old and she's I'll have to face it eventually, but not today. Not today.

[00:08:15]So, I was avoiding my problems.

[00:08:17]Obviously, not a technique that your therapist would recommend, but it seemed to be working for me. So, I finally gathered my things, jumped into the lift, had a bit of a boogie, and it was time to head out into Paris to go for a new friendship date. Yeah, I'd made a new friend. Her name was Yara and I was going to go meet her for a little coffee date and a walk around the canal. Yeah, bet you didn't know Paris had a canal, but it does, baby. So, she told me to go to this cafe. I told her, "Perfect. I'll meet you there." Arrived at said cafe, sat down, ordered myself a drink, and she said, "Where are you? I've been here ages." And I said, "Well, I'm outside.

[00:08:50]I'm waiting for a drink. Where are you?

[00:08:51]I've been here for ages." Yeah. Turns out I'd gone to the completely wrong cafe, sat down, ordered myself a drink, and uh yeah, was in the wrong place. So, who's a goofy goofy goofy goober?

[00:09:00]Yeah, this one who apparently can't even do directions with Google Maps.

[00:09:03]>> I've been sitting here for ages and I sent my friend a message saying that I'm >> It's so finally we had found each other and it was time to do a little bit of exploring around the 11th and 10th Fontismo. I mean, what is this? Lydia in Paris and she's actually showing Paris for once. Well, check the skies because there might be a pig flying.

[00:10:05]Ooh, I feel like I'm in like a nature documentary cuz they're huge. I really, really, really want a girl like this.

[00:10:16]Truth fit perfectly.

[00:10:19]I have to have one of the big leafy girls.

[00:10:28]>> Looks like cabbage, doesn't it?

[00:10:30]>> I have this one.

[00:10:31]>> Did you kill them?

[00:10:36]>> Oh, there we go. That's what I need.

[00:10:38]>> Yeah, like as well.

[00:10:47]So, we'd gone for an absolutely lovely walk and headed to a park to sit down in the grass, be serenated by a little saxophone. Saxophone, more like had a quick chat and ate a little bit of food before it was time for me to rush home because my god was I desperate for a whiz.

[00:11:02]>> Where my pants my pants are.

[00:11:06]No, there's so many gun buttons. Great.

[00:11:12]Okay, just literally run home because I was like, I'm going to wet my Oh, no. I left my cafir out on the side. I've just drunk that. It's been out all day.

[00:11:20]Probably wasn't sensible, Lydia, but I went straight into a I need to drink that. Let's start again. I'd run home because I've just spent the afternoon with a friend. I made a new friend, which is very exciting. She is She is actually She's a nanny for one of the kids that my girl Lulu is really good friends with. So, she and I sat in a park the other day and we got chatting and then I was like, "Come on." And you're like, "Let me get your number.

[00:11:40]Let's go for a drink." I've gone for a drink. This is like our second time meeting up. But I've made a new friend, which is lovely. Which is really cool. I just love it. I just really like I don't know what it is about me in Paris. I'm just such a different person to at home.

[00:11:51]When I'm at home, I'm so anxietyriddled, so nervous. And then when I'm here, I'm so like I love who I am here. I can't leave, man.

[00:12:02]So [ __ ] Anyway, I'm going to push it aside. I don't care. I'm not going to think about it right now. But yeah, I made a new friend. But here's what I love about the sunshine. Um, Molly and Georgia are coming to meet me. We're going to go sit by the canal. I've come running home. I've already got some chicken that I made yesterday. That was for my dinner, but I didn't eat it for my lunch and I didn't eat it on time.

[00:12:21]So, I'm just running home to make myself some peach squash because I'm not drinking at the moment, so I don't have to go and buy anything while I'm out.

[00:12:30]Making quickly some rice and I'm going to take a spoon and a fork and I'm just going to sit over on the canal and eat, no shame, I don't give a [ __ ] in a Tupperware dish. And then I'm going to make myself some toast as well to have.

[00:12:40]So yeah, I love this is what I love about the sunshine. I don't have to spend money. I can eat my stuff at mine.

[00:12:45]I can bring my stuff from mine and just go sit in the sun. It's so much easier because no one wants to everyone wants to like go just sit in a park or something cuz we're like, "Oh, let's save money and just get a bottle of wine. Why not?" So that's what we're doing today, which I'm very, very excited for. So I've got my my Pesh. Uh I'm going to need to close that up cuz we need to Oh, probably don't do that on your table. That's very fragile, Lydia.

[00:13:04]So it doesn't leak. Oh, still leaking anyway. Brilliant. Oh, it's cuz I didn't Oh, >> yeah. Okay. Not anything to do with the bottle, but the fact that I didn't actually close the top lid properly.

[00:13:16]Classic. Spilled that all over the side, haven't I? Just tipped that all over the floor. And this is why I have one for the floor because Lydia is such a bloody mess. And I'm now going to run literally straight back over to the canal. Let me put you here, my love, so you get a bit of sunshine, you beautiful little bee.

[00:13:31]Um, so yeah. Right, let's actually get cracking so that I'm not just running around and worrying in a second. Let's Let's do stuff, Lydia. Let's move. Let's move tonight. Right, I'm going to make myself some butter and peanut butter toast. I'm making myself some rice and then we're going to run back over.

[00:13:49]Oh my [ __ ] on it. Just Oh no.

[00:14:05]Right, we are heading back to the canal.

[00:14:10]I just threw peach squash all down my leg, so it looks like I pissed my pants.

[00:14:15]So that's really, really great. Going to go meet Georgia.

[00:14:23]>> My little dragon.

[00:14:29]My sunshine.

[00:14:33]You are my sunshine. I want the world to know. You are my sunshine.

[00:14:40]What you do? What you do?

[00:14:45]>> I don't know if you can hear me, but we're at the cork having a having a nice pesh beach. Beach. I don't know what I'm saying. Anyway, we're here. I don't give a [ __ ] anymore. So, let's enjoy our evening.

[00:14:57]I just love how much you love your job and how good you are at your job. I don't give a [ __ ] anymore.

[00:15:00]>> I just don't give a [ __ ] anymore. I really care about the viewers and myself.

[00:15:05]>> Peach, I give it a [ __ ] >> I just want my chicken.

[00:15:10]>> I just spat on you, Ollie.

[00:15:12]>> I'm so sorry.

[00:15:13]>> I just really want my chicken.

[00:15:15]>> I'm going to eat.

[00:15:19]>> She's got a garnish.

[00:15:20]>> Oh my. Look at your banana, queen.

[00:15:23]>> Oh yeah.

[00:15:25]Oh my lord.

[00:15:32]Ow.

[00:15:34]Ouch. Charlie. Right, I'm home. I had the most loveliest day. I really needed that today. The sun was shining. It was a beautiful day. And I went out and saw my friends. Oh my god. No, it was so nice. Really, really nice. We sat by the canal. I forgot my bloody thing so I couldn't talk. We sat by the canal. None of us are drinking so we all just had like syrup. So it was really lovely. And we all just had like a really chilled afternoon. It was really good. I'm really enjoying not drinking, you know?

[00:16:06]Like literally I was like, "Oh god, I'm going out for a drink." And then I panicked in my head. I was like, "Oh god, like I can't feel rough for tomorrow. I can't feel rough tomorrow."

[00:16:13]And then I was like, "You're not drinking. You're not going to feel rough. You're going to wake up feeling fresh." And I'm really just enjoying always waking up fresh and not having that thought in my head of like, "Oh, I'm going out tonight. going to have like a bit of a headache tomorrow or anything like that. It's really nice.

[00:16:25]And I'm home. I've got my pants open. I was feeling good. I've just had a really nice chilled afternoon. It was lovely.

[00:16:30]What a lovely lovely day. What a lovely day. Yeah, it was really nice. I'm really grateful for my friends.

[00:16:36]Yeah, I think I'm just going to leave it there. I think I've just had a really nice day. I'm tired. I need to pack cuz we're going skiing tomorrow. So, yeah, it's going to be an interesting few days. So, on that note, my lovely, make sure you hype up the video. Hype it up while you are watching. Make sure you also like, subscribe, share this to your bestie. Tell me in the comments down below who your best friend is. I want to know. And on that note, lovely, I think I think I've made my decision, and I really hope it's the right