A 2025 study interviewing 68 men across nine countries who murdered their female partners revealed seven non-violent tactics used before the killings: isolating victims from friends and family, gaslighting them about reality, restricting their ability to work, vilifying them to outsiders, building alliances with others to support the perpetrator's narrative, controlling their body (what they ate, how they dressed, whether they could leave), and controlling their access to healthcare. These tactics are dangerous because they are subtle and non-violent, making them easily overlooked as warning signs. The most common perpetrator profile identified was 'possessively jealous' individuals who believed 'if I can't have you, no one will,' demonstrating that lethal relationships often begin with covert manipulation rather than physical violence.
Deep Dive
Prerequisite Knowledge
- No data available.
Where to go next
- No data available.
Deep Dive
68 Killers Exposed Their Strategy - Here's What They SaidAdded:
Y'all, this video, this woman did is amazing. Her name is The Control Code on Tik Tok and she did a video about the seven tactics that men who had under-lived their wives used. These seven tactics, they interviewed 68 men and it is it is I'm just going to play the video for you.
What can a bunch of incarcerated men who murdered their wives tell us about the biggest lethality indicators in relationships? It turns out we're getting everything wrong. So, researchers have been doing something that most people don't know about.
They've been going into prisons and interviewing the men who killed their partners, asking them how it happened, what they did, and how they kept anyone from stopping it. So, a 2025 study interviewed 68 men across nine countries. There were nine 27 interviews. Every one of them had murdered his female partner.
This is already amazing because like you like you just said, like she just said, they interviewed so many people and this is a recent study. You know, a lot of times online you see this study from 1965, 1974, 19 2001.
2025. So, not even a year ago did this happen. So, The researchers were looking for patterns. They were looking at what these men did in real time in the months and years before the killing and seven tactics showed up over and over. One, they isolated her from her people, her friends and family. Two, they gaslit her about her own reality. Three, they restricted her ability to work.
I'm stopping right there real quick.
The gaslighting stuff, people don't think that that's bad, but that's mental manipulation that gets so deep that it messes with you. It it come like by itself is one thing, but in combination with being isolated on I call it narcissist island, being isolated by yourself dealing with this type of person and you only have their point of view, their perspective versus yours, you're inevitably going to question yourself.
Inevitably. It's scary as hell.
Four, they vilified her to anyone outside the relationship, her friends, her family, her therapist, his friends. Five, they built alliances with other men who would back his story.
Six, they controlled her body, what she ate, how she dressed, whether she could leave the house, and seven, they controlled her access to health care.
The building alliances thing is is annoying as hell. They start lying about the women.
These prisoners who are in jail for taking the lives of their female partners said that they would isolate them, guys like them, and manipulate them, and then start spreading rumors while they're still with them. Start down talking this person while they're still with them. Start building alliances with other people to back their story up, to just say, "Hey, y'all, she's crazy. I told y'all she was crazy." And this is why a lot of times they record your reactions to something that they have done and use that to paint the image of you being a horrible person. Use that to paint the image of you being crazy so they get other people on their side like this. And then their access to health care is crazy.
Controlling what they wear, that's controlling and obsessive. And there are a lot of people out there who will see that and just like, "Well, I thought it was cute that they were controlling and didn't want me going outside a certain type of way. They didn't they they didn't want me eating a certain type of thing. I thought that was cute."
So, think about that list. How many of those involved any physical acts or them hitting her? Zero. Zero.
These are the documented tactics that men used in the months and years before they murdered their partners. And every single one of them is non-violent. Every single one of them from the outside sounds like a bad relationship and not a deadly one. Yes. Yes, because I think a lot of people think because the biggest lethality indicator is going to be somebody strangling you.
So, that's why people just like, "Oh, I would say strangle." What's the number one lethality indicator? Oh, your partner's strangling you or putting their hands on you something like that.
This being physically violent or physically intimidating. None None of these men admitted to you hitting their partner. I'm not saying that they didn't, but none of them it didn't come up in any of these conversations. You see what I'm saying?
So, physical violence is not always the telltale sign that somebody's going to take your life. Sometimes it's just a controlling, obsessive, jealous, crazy ass person. The covert covert manipulator.
A different researcher, David Adams, did his own set of prison interviews, men in the US who killed their wives.
>> Oh, lord. And he asked them what kind of men they thought they were. The most common type that emerged is what he called possessively jealous. Not impulsive, not mentally ill, not they just snapped, possessive.
Did I just say that? I haven't watched the whole video, y'all. I watched it in the to the seventh and that's what I just said, jealous obsessive. I knew that as a man.
The jealous, obsessive, controlling person, they think you belong to them.
Y'all ever heard the term, "If I can't have you, no one will"? That right there.
The jealous, possessive person. If I can't have you, no one will.
These men believed she was theirs, in their own words. So, the killers told us what to look for. The patterns are documented. The early warnings are there. And in the next video, I'll show you the filter that catches every single one of these tactics at the sentence level in real time before the murder is the first incident. So, look at me for more.
Oh, well, I'll take a look and see what they got. I might have put it in a different video. I don't like But, this is her name right here, the control code. Y'all see it on the screen right there. I'mma blow it up so y'all can see it right here on the screen.
Her name is the control code, d_control_code.
It's This is on TikTok. I'm not sure if she's anywhere else.
There you go right there. This is comment section right here. By staying single, I'm prolonging my life. You could be, but being single doesn't protect This doesn't necessarily protect you from men. Men are There is some crazy ass men out here. Let's keep it real. You know what I mean? Being single could protect you, but it doesn't always guarantee some type of protection. The bear. I always say that bear meme is funny.
Uh as a dad, I'm terrified for my daughter. Yeah. I'm a DV prevention educator. Would you be willing to share links to this research? Uh this is what qua- qualitative research is so important. This is why.
Uh but yeah, this is her page right here, y'all. And like I said, it's the It's called the control code. Um so y'all can go see. She is the author of the control code, a book. And what not.
So y'all can go check that out as well if you're a woman watching this. Just to stay safe, right? Cuz Cuz like if anything if anything helps, you know what I mean?
Anything absolutely helps. And this right here says early Early signs of coercive control. I'mma see how long it is.
>> a video for teenagers on coercive control. And this is That's for That's for teenagers right there. We can scream it till we're blue in the face, and I'm black. Um but you got to be careful out here, man. You have to be careful out here. Like and it's so the the and They don't just do this stuff outright and >> [clears throat and cough] >> outwardly. A lot of these people are subtly manipulative or covertly manipulative. They're not going to be outwardly aggressive, outwardly abusive, and things like that. They're going to do it subtly. It's going to be subtle and slowly. And you're not even going to realize you're isolated until like, "Damn, I can't got no When the last time I see my friends? When the last time I talked to my mom or my sister? Damn, when the last time I talked I had dinner I had with my dad. You're going to It's going to You're going to realize it. When you realize it, y'all, just be careful. You be safe. If you're in the United States, arm yourself. Arm yourself. I know there's enough enough pew pews going around, but you got to arm yourself because people out here are crazy as hell, and they don't like y'all, they don't want to see you live a a good healthy existence. They want to be in control of you. They want to manipulate you, and they want to abuse you.
Anyways, y'all, hit that subscribe button. Go follow The Control Code over on TikTok.
Uh she might be on Instagram and stuff like that as well, but check her out, y'all. Peace.
Related Videos
VALORANT's Latest 'Exclusive' Tier Bundle is Rough...
KangaValorant
17K views•2026-05-28
Flight Attendant Mocks Poor Looking Black Woman — Mid Air Announcement Exposes Her Real Power
SkyboundStories-b4r
184 views•2026-05-28
I FIXED My Friend’s Blown Turbo RX-8… Then Sold It
Cameron-RX8
134 views•2026-05-28
NewsWatch 12 at 5: Top Stories
NewsWatch12
1K views•2026-05-28
Simon Jordan & Danny Murphy deliver PREDICTIONS for Arsenal's Champions League FINAL with PSG
talkSPORTArsenal
6K views•2026-05-28
Botting is OUT OF CONTROL in Classic WoW (Again)...
SolheimGaming
108 views•2026-05-28
The "AI Job Apocalypse" is CANCELLED!
WesRoth
9K views•2026-05-28
STREET FIGHTER 6 - INGRID Story Walkthrough @ 4K 60ᶠᵖˢ ✔
RajmanGamingHD
12K views•2026-05-28











