Here's something I've struggled with behind the scenes

[00:00:00]I want to talk about something totally that I don't talk about today.

[00:00:04]Anxiety, okay?

[00:00:06]And I'm going to say this because I realized that sometimes when I do content on here, it feeds into it.

[00:00:16]When you make videos, your views go up and they go down, okay?

[00:00:20]What I've noticed is when my views go down, that my mind started freaking out like, "Am I saying something wrong? Did I make the video wrong? Was it a thumbnail?" And it's not. That's just the normal cycle of of videos, right? You go up, you go down. It's just life.

[00:00:39]And I did some research and what it is is that my brain is catastrophizing.

[00:00:45]Now, what is that?

[00:00:47]I'll give you an example. This weekend, I'm going camping, okay?

[00:00:50]And I'm sitting there because I love to fly fish. Love to fly fish.

[00:00:55]What if I get a flat tire?

[00:00:57]What if I go hiking 3 miles into the forest and I twist my ankle and I can't get out? What if I'm sleeping and a bear comes there?

[00:01:04]What if my my truck and the brake doesn't go off and it goes into a creek?

[00:01:08]When you have anxiety and you catastrophize, that is how your brain is wired.

[00:01:18]And it comes from many people and I can only say for me because the more I think about it, it makes sense.

[00:01:24]When you grow up in a home that is not supportive, that's not positive, that's not reinforcing, this is what happens.

[00:01:33]Is that your brain is always feeling like somebody or something is going to let you down.

[00:01:39]Example.

[00:01:41]When me and my brother ate at the dinner table with our mouth open, my dad would either stab us with a fork or he would grab us by our necks and throw us to the ground.

[00:01:51]Or if he was mad, he would threaten us to hit us with a frying pan or hit us with a belt. So, there is this fear that if everything wasn't perfect, the worst possible outcome. And I didn't realize it was doing that till a couple weeks ago.

[00:02:06]So, last night I caught myself. I told my wife, "Hey, you know what? I just caught myself doing it."

[00:02:11]And I'm telling you this because I'm sure I'm not the only person to go through there.

[00:02:16]Okay? They goes through this.

[00:02:18]The only way is to recognize that the iceberg is there, and you have to start turning the wheel little by little by little. It's not going to happen overnight.

[00:02:30]But, it's recognizing it. This is a muscle that a lot of people don't use.

[00:02:37]And you you only way to strengthen it is to use it and to realize what's happening and make a concerted effort to do it.

[00:02:44]I saw this video of this lady and she says, "If anybody's ever had like uh depression or anxiety, sometimes you don't want to do things, right? You're like, oh, I don't want to go to the movies. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do that." And you're just kind of sitting there, right? Because it's like it sucks the fun out of it.

[00:03:01]You have to go and do those things.

[00:03:03]Because what's happening when you do that is that you're giving that fear, that catastrophizing thing that you have going on, you're feeding into it.

[00:03:16]You're giving it strength.

[00:03:18]It's like being in an abusive relationship, right?

[00:03:22]You stay in that relationship and it's going to keep happening to you. The only way for you to stop being abused is to leave that abusive relationship. It's the same thing.

[00:03:32]But, in a weird way, it's with your brain because of how it's wired.

[00:03:37]We have all lived a different life experience.

[00:03:41]And one of the cool things about doing what I do is that I've had a pretty crappy childhood, but you know what? I realized what it was, and I I to be a better person because of it, and I'm going to share stories like this.

[00:03:57]Because people go through this.

[00:03:59]And what has to happen, in my opinion in this country, is that men have to talk about this. When I see somebody like Dana White who's just a mediocre white man with a micro penis go out around saying, "I don't want to hear about this mental health shit." No, we're going to talk about it. Because Dana White is the guy that's so angry that he smacked his wife multiple times in Mexico. And he supports Donald Trump who assaults women.

[00:04:21]So, that is toxic masculinity.

[00:04:24]Violence, physicality, misogyny, sexism, that's how they handle their problems.

[00:04:30]That is completely 100% unhealthy. It's because he doesn't have these conversations because he views what I'm doing right now as weakness. That I'm a la-la man. I'm not an alpha male.

[00:04:42]And that's what we've done to our young men. We've told them to suck it up. Hey Timmy, you broke your leg, suck it up.

[00:04:47]Go play football. Don't you dare cry. I want you to be a real man.

[00:04:52]And you get 98% of gun violence in this country that are what? Men.

[00:04:58]60% of domestic violence are men, police officers.

[00:05:02]You get January 6th where people are so angry about an election being stolen that they will literally beat police officers and take a crap on someone's desk.

[00:05:11]That's how you get to where we are.

[00:05:15]So, if my video can help at least one person, I hope I didn't trigger anybody. That was not my intent, but we all struggle with things.

[00:05:24]And the only way I know how to deal with it is to talk with it. Talk through it.

[00:05:27]So, have a great day everyone. Bye.