What 25 Years In Thailand Taught Me About Foreigners 🇹🇭

追加: 2026-05-10

[00:00:00]Right, good morning, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back to another edition of Thai Talk with Dan, the channel where we share real stories from real people with real experiences.

[00:00:13]And today, we've got a good one. A veteran, a 25-year Thailand expat veteran that has seen and done it all. He has never commented on the channel before, but he's watched from a distance, and he wants to have his say about you guys that go to Thailand and get involved with the women there. And he also gives you a few insights about his own life. So, without further delay, let's jump in to today's Thailand story.

[00:00:53]>> [screaming] >> Hi Dan, I've watched your channel for quite a while now, but never commented before. I'm one of those people sitting quietly in the background reading the comments and shaking my head while eating grilled pork in Bangkok. I'm 65 years old from the US originally, and I've been living in Thailand for a long time now. I first arrived here around 25 years ago when Thailand still felt completely different from what it is today. I lived in Chiang Mai for years, then Khon Kaen for a long stretch, and these days, I'm in Bangkok. I speak Thai pretty well now, not perfectly, obviously, but enough to understand what people are really saying around me, which is both useful and dangerous at the same time. One thing I've learned over the years is most foreigners never really adapt to Thailand properly. They live here physically, but mentally, they're still sitting in a pub back home, comparing everything to their own country, and getting angry that Thailand refuses to become Birmingham, or Texas, or wherever they came from. Some of these expats, honestly, have egos the size of Mount Everest. They've been here 15 years, and still can't order food properly, but somehow believe they've become professors of Thai culture because they dated two bar girls in Pattaya, and watched a few YouTube videos. And that's why I mostly stay away from expat groups these days. Too much bitterness, too much testosterone mixed with blood pressure medication, combined with copious amounts of Leo beer. And the funniest thing is watching the new arrivals. You see them arrive smiling like they've escaped prison, fresh haircut, new polo shirts, walking around Sukhumvit, glowing with optimism, like Thailand has personally chosen them for a better life. And then 6 months later, they look like exhausted detectives in a crime documentary.

[00:03:12]Girlfriend problems, money disappearing fast, and getting sucked into the family emergencies, the buffalo accidents, sick mothers, et cetera, all while paying monthly support, while their Thai girlfriends are lining up the next farang sucker. Same movie over and over again, just with different actors. The thing is though, and this is where I probably differ from a lot of your viewers, I don't actually blame Thai women most of the time. A lot of these guys walk into Thailand emotionally starving, and completely blind to what's happening around them. They think because a woman is kind to them, messages them constantly, and acts feminine, that it automatically means love in the Western romantic sense.

[00:04:04]Thailand doesn't always work like that.

[00:04:06]Now, relationships here can be emotional, practical, financial, and social all at the same time. And a lot of foreigners struggle with that because Western men are sold this fantasy that true love exists separately from money and status when in reality those things are connected in almost every country on Earth. Thailand is just more upfront and in your face about it. Now, back when I first came here, things were very different. Social media barely existed.

[00:04:40]Dating apps were controlling the entire dating market. Most Thai women had never even spoken to a foreigner before. And nowadays, you have to understand, it's a completely different world. Many Thai women looking for foreign partners today absolutely expect financial stability, and in many cases monthly support, too.

[00:05:05]Some foreigners get offended by that, but honestly, I don't know why they're shocked. If a woman believes being with a foreigner should elevate her lifestyle, improve her family status, and create more security, that's not some bizarre alien concept. That's common sense from her perspective. The mistake many men make is by pretending they're entering a fairy tale instead of understanding the social dynamics involved. For me personally, I've been with my Thai wife for about 15 years.

[00:05:40]Never paid a monthly salary because I married a woman, I didn't rent one. But obviously, I pay bills, help the household, and take care of things when needed, and act like a normal husband.

[00:05:54]And that's another thing foreigners don't understand. There's a massive difference between helping build a life together versus becoming somebody's walking ATM machine. My wife is also extremely kind personality, which means she's loving, loyal, funny, and occasionally terrifying. Thai women can absolutely be feisty. I learned many years ago, there is no point trying to win every argument if you want peace in your home. Sometimes the smartest thing a man can do is shut up, eat his rice, and revisit the conversation tomorrow.

[00:06:33]Foreign men arrive here thinking they're going to dominate everything because they're bigger physically or have more money. Then they meet an angry Thai woman, and suddenly discover fear in a completely new language. And the older I get, the more I realize Thailand isn't for everybody. Some people should honestly never move here because psychologically they can't adapt. They fight the culture instead of blending into it. They refuse to understand the family obligations, the saving face part of Thailand, the indirect communication, and the social expectations for you.

[00:07:12]Then they end up angry at Thailand for not operating like the West. And I actually appreciate what you're trying to do now on your newer channel, talking about Thai culture and social systems because most foreigners living here don't really understand the country beyond the bars, their condos, and the dating apps. Thailand is a complex society. Once you speak the language and understand the behavior properly, you start noticing things most foreigners never see. Anyway, Dan, I've rambled [clears throat] on enough. I just thought I would finally send an email after years of silently observing the madness from a distance. Keep up the work. Regards, Michael.

[00:07:59]Bye, Michael. Thanks very much for sharing your story, a little bit of your story, but mainly your insights. It will be interesting to read what people have to put in the comments, and I think it's going to be a 50/50. But, let's see.

[00:08:16]Hopefully, people might agree with your take on things, especially guys that have lived in Thailand for a long time and not stayed or remained in an expat bubble that whole time. And guys, for years now, I've noticed lot of people that don't wish to comment in the videos, and I can understand why. The comments can be toxic at times, depending on the story of what somebody's sent in. But, please, you can stay anonymous if you want to. You can give your name, give your age, you know, say where you're from.

[00:08:48]And I'm happy to share your insights, your knowledge, your wisdom, or just simply your story on the channel. As long as it's Thailand related, and I feel like it's going to be beneficial to people that are watching, I'm always happy to share it. So, get your emails sent in to tie talk with Dan @gmail.com.

[00:09:11]Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening, and ciao for now. Bye-bye.