Laura Smyth Talks About Having Three Kids!! | Please Keep Me Anonymous

Added: 2026-05-19

[00:00:00]I went, "No problem. I'll start booting something." She went, "What are you doing?" I went, "I'm booting something."

[00:00:03]She went, >> "Oh, what though? It's not too It's not too formal, is it?" You needed an iron in that time. Listen, I pack things dense.

[00:00:14]>> So, listen. Three kids.

[00:00:15]>> Yes.

[00:00:15]>> What's that like?

[00:00:16]>> It's fun.

[00:00:18]>> Well, cuz I've got the gap. It's funny cuz I had the big gap. I always >> How long? So, how Yeah. So, >> so 12, 13. So, yeah. Rosie was about 12 when Bomb was Bonnie. Rosie. Rosie. I always feel warm with a Rosie cuz I always think your parents must have looked to you and went >> little.

[00:00:36]>> So yeah, I've got a rose. My oldest is Rose Rosie. And um cute.

[00:00:40]>> So yeah, I met my alley when she was 10.

[00:00:43]So that was nice. And I sort of been on my own with her then. So that was that was really nice. And then yeah, sort of didn't mess about. Bonnie came along.

[00:00:50]>> And um yeah, and then I got Alfred. So yeah, B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B Bonnie was nearly free when Alfred was born, but I thought because of the big gap, I didn't think I'd have middle child syndrome, but Bonnie >> Oh, really? Even with the gap >> something I feel like Rosie became double big sister. She her place was almost more >> reinforced by having two little ends >> and Yeah. Bonnie, >> I'm a middle child.

[00:01:13]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:01:14]>> Yeah. And I I know I I never fully believed it until until that Instagram told us and I'm like that's me.

[00:01:24]>> So are you always hard done by but literally the center of attention?

[00:01:29]>> Yeah.

[00:01:31]>> I don't know. Kind of >> like if Bonnie's on a play date the middle the middle one.

[00:01:37]>> Dinner times are very chill >> really.

[00:01:40]>> Oh she dominates everything. She's queen bee Bonnie but she don't think she is.

[00:01:43]She thinks she's >> Is that me?

[00:01:46]>> I don't know. Well, I don't know cuz you're not You know what?

[00:01:49]>> I know. I actually feel like my mom Oh my god. Cuz my sister listens to this.

[00:01:53]>> But my mom always said that. I was just dead chill.

[00:01:56]>> Oh, that's nice.

[00:01:57]>> I think I'm maybe I'm the like I'm the sort of middle child that just got ignored a little bit.

[00:02:01]>> So you kind of plowed your own to kind of survive on my own.

[00:02:06]>> Yeah. And then I feel that way.

[00:02:07]>> But I feel like now I kind of look after everyone as well though. I'm I like check in on everyone. So I've >> You're the lynch pin. You're that person.

[00:02:14]>> I think so. I think so.

[00:02:16]>> What do your sisters do?

[00:02:17]>> Me sister? So I've got a brother and a sister.

[00:02:19]>> Oh brother. So you got older brother?

[00:02:20]>> I've got a younger brother who's a plaster.

[00:02:23]>> Ah no. And he is plaster. So good.

[00:02:27]He's never great. Oh my god. And he does other stuff as well. Like he's really good. He's learning like he's learning stuff.

[00:02:34]>> And he's just now plastering cuz he does he does a build. He's as well as a musician. He's a builder. Nice.

[00:02:40]>> And he couldn't get a plaster for love and no money. were let down by so many.

[00:02:42]And anyway, he's learned it now. And once once you've got that, >> I know he's so good at it.

[00:02:48]>> So good at it.

[00:02:49]>> Print money. That's it.

[00:02:50]>> Yeah. And then um but he's the baby.

[00:02:53]>> Yeah.

[00:02:53]>> He is the baby. He's such a mom, ain't he? He's so babyed. It's ridic.

[00:02:59]>> No. No. My boy I'll do things. I'll go, "Who's left that here? Why is that all spilled?" They go, "It's Alfred." I go, "Mommy."

[00:03:08]Oh, I just love I just think it's easy work. I know. It's just easy work. I think cuz my girls I feel like my girls I'm always going up against myself when I go up against my girls. They're just little me. They're like >> and I think where'd you get all that from? But it's all me.

[00:03:22]>> Yeah.

[00:03:22]>> But with my boy I just find him it's just I just don't know.

[00:03:26]>> My boys have got me wrapped around their little fingers.

[00:03:29]>> You not got a girl, you got two boys.

[00:03:31]>> The eldest is me and he is me. So me and him sometimes lock horns because he is me.

[00:03:38]The we goes on on everything. Yeah.

[00:03:40]Yeah. He's he's 100% me and the little's just the little one's a lot more like you. So the little gets away with a lot more with me.

[00:03:46]>> Yeah. It is weird, isn't it? What your sister do? I always love sister.

[00:03:51]>> She's just had a promotion at work. But I could tell you what it is.

[00:03:54]>> Oh yeah. When they've got real jobs.

[00:03:55]>> Oh. Oh yeah. She works in a in in a law firm.

[00:03:58]>> Oh, that's my favorite meme. You know, talking to your oldest friend. How's work? What is it?

[00:04:02]>> Yeah. What the [ __ ] is it? But now she's like she's teaching the tech people how to do this to doing presentations.

[00:04:09]>> Adult. She's an adult.

[00:04:11]>> Oh god. Fully blown. But she's always she's worked there for like 16 years.

[00:04:15]But it's a really serious place and she deals with like serious stuff and I'm always like what you been doing today. One of my good mates is like really high up in the NHS like overseeing like massive departments in massive hospitals like and you were like >> and that's why and that's why you book all the excursions on holidays amarine that's what we're dealing with whereas like me and my mate Swick are always like yeah morning beers that's all right >> we were just talking about that Daisy was saying that she's the one who just turns I book everything >> yeah do you get that vibe you get that vibe cuz now I know you got a little brother as well so you're just like you're fielding you're taking care Yeah, sorted it all. Me sister's just too busy with a serious job and me brother's just a baby.

[00:04:58]>> No, no, but also you are a a control freak and you like doing these things.

[00:05:02]Early on day before you came in here, Earlier on the day before you came in here, I asked her what we were doing for food tonight. I said, cuz we got a night in London tonight. We always go for some food and drinks. I said, "What what what should we do then? What should we do?" I said, she said yesterday she was going to book somewhere. I went, "Have you booked that place?" Ah, no. Why don't you book it? I went right. Then she went, "Oh, you know, just book something." A nice surprise. That'll be nice for once, Chris. I went, "No problem. I'll start booking something.

[00:05:23]She went, "What are you doing?" I went, "I'm booking something." She went, "Oh, what though? It's not too It's not too formal, is it? What is it? It's not too heavy going. What?" I went [ __ ] dealing with here.

[00:05:33]>> I know.

[00:05:33]>> Did you watch the bear? You know that bit. Have you watched the bear?

[00:05:37]>> Watch the first series. I think >> the cooking.

[00:05:39]>> Yeah, the cooking one. Intense. It was It was a lot intense. But there's a scene with Jam Lee Curtis and the mom.

[00:05:45]>> We didn't get that far. No, but it was but she sort of does this breakdown which like you know who makes things special for me you know when you're taking care of business >> if my husband >> said like you know sorted the kids are at your mom's grab your passport I've booked all this I think I'd kill him >> I think I want that I want to book it I do not want you to the worst species She's on earth, you know, like >> and I'm going on record and saying that.

[00:06:18]>> No, I often think, you know, when you watch >> I want what I want.

[00:06:21]>> When you watch videos, >> I WANT WHAT I WANT. That's it.

[00:06:24]>> When you watch things and they're like surprised you just pack a bag and I'd be like, well, what? Yeah. Yeah. You're right. What's the weather? Where am I going? What do I need? Creams, etc. >> Get it would get there and you'd go, "Well, why didn't you tell us this? I haven't brought this. I haven't brought I didn't I didn't know this. I didn't bring flat shoes and you didn't tell us that. I should have brought a strapless bra. I don't [ __ ] know, man."

[00:06:43]>> Yeah, strapless bras. That's it. That's genuinely I couldn't wear a top today cuz I didn't have the right bra.

[00:06:48]>> I know. It is funny. I was like, "Oh, can't just maybe you could think of something once upon a time." No, I'm not staying there.

[00:06:54]>> No, same. I would get there and I'd go, "It's [ __ ] hole." Chris, why have you booked this? I hate I hate it. What have you done?

[00:07:00]>> I like to read the reviews and everything of places.

[00:07:03]>> Oh, yeah. You want to do a >> I'm one of them. Yeah.

[00:07:05]>> Yeah. And you sort of download the PDF of the menu, but only cuz you're calorie counting, but no lies. You just need to know there's a tour. I want to see a floor plan of the room.

[00:07:15]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:07:16]>> Like literally, especially if I'm abroad, I want to see that [ __ ] floor plan.

[00:07:19]>> I want to know. I know. I And I I do just just It doesn't even matter where they sit us. I'm like, "You've got another table."

[00:07:26]>> Oh, really? You're one of them?

[00:07:27]>> Why?

[00:07:27]>> I know. I'm If some I'm I'm not one of them people that can be relaxed if something is bad.

[00:07:34]>> If I sit somewhere and something is off, I'm like, I can't. I'm not going to enjoy this experience.

[00:07:39]>> I know. It's really weird. I my favorite there's a lot of I always quote Simpsons the best Simpsons joke ever is when Homer's on a plane he GOES I WANT WHAT everyone wants preferential treatment >> that's such a good joke >> you know I mean I if if I feel like someone's having it off a bit better than me >> see or if a table erupts with laughter I'll be like tell me a joke >> we uh I haven't told you this me and Carl and our tour manager went for a curry in Notting the other night and we had to move tables. I didn't know about this. Carl got there early and he got the table cuz I was doing I was trying to come up the stage door but there's people there for photos which is fine.

[00:08:18]So I was taking photos so I was a bit late and obviously we finished late and we want to hurry. So we get there and Carl goes, "Oh, we had to move tables."

[00:08:24]He goes, "What on that table?" But apparently there was a table of BS there. Uh and one bloke was like leaning out facing the other tables loudly calling all of his mates gay cuz they were going home after the curry. Oh, okay.

[00:08:40]>> And call said to them, he went in the waitress. He went, "Can we move to that table?" And uh she went, "Yeah, something wrong." Went nothing wrong.

[00:08:46]Just don't want to be dumb this guy. And she went over to She went to call. Did Did he say anything? He went, "Not to me, but he's being pretty horrible to all of his friends and I just didn't want to be there while he was doing it."

[00:08:57]>> I just never thought my coming out story would be because I was done with the papadoms and I was a bit tired.

[00:09:04]>> How did you guess?

[00:09:06]into the rim. We were fine with >> point is that's a really good a good reason to move tables cuz the bloke is calling all of his mates for going home early. Pathetic >> like I've just dealt with hecklers. I've just >> right. Oh, this is nice. You ready? I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.

[00:09:23]>> Let's go. Let's go.

[00:09:24]>> Story time with Rolling Mo. Dear Chris and Rosie, please keep me anonymous. I just started dating a guy at uni. One night we went to the student bar with friends and I got very drunk.

[00:09:36]>> Nice.

[00:09:36]>> So drunk he had to walk me back to halls. I hadn't brought a coat. Classic.

[00:09:42]So he gave me his puffer.

[00:09:44]>> Oh, >> the one his ex had bought him.

[00:09:46]>> Oh, all right.

[00:09:47]>> I passed out fully dressed in his bed.

[00:09:50]Shoes, coat, everything while he went back out.

[00:09:54]>> That's got a green flag. She was so pissed he left her >> to be fair. Yeah, >> he's not he's not Yeah, but he's not looking after her. She couldn't vomit.

[00:10:00]chalk and I vomit or swallow the puffer jacket or anything.

[00:10:03]>> Well, strap in.

[00:10:05]About 30 minutes later, I woke up feeling awful, hot, nauseous, chaos.

[00:10:11]>> Sorry. Yeah. Can I just Can we just pause for a moment? Can you imagine falling asleep really really drunk and waking up and you've got a [ __ ] puffer jacket once >> in a bed with a [ __ ] Canada goose on?

[00:10:22]>> Horrible.

[00:10:23]>> I threw the coat off, turned the lamp on, and staggered to the bathroom for a full hug in the toilet session. Oh no, that's on the way back. I thought I smelled burning. Ignored it. Big mistake. I opened his door and oh my god, the puffer coat had landed on the lamp and was on fire.

[00:10:44]Panic.

[00:10:46]>> I tried I tried smothering it with my trousers. Didn't work. My top also useless. So now I'm half naked, fighting flames, losing with no other option. I sprinted to the kitchen. Oh, this is holes as well. This is all over the place. God. With no other option, I sprinted to the kitchen in just my knickers. Grabbed water, ran back, threw it on the fire. Repeat. Several frantic, nearly naked laps later, the fire was finally out.

[00:11:13]>> I suppose it's not an electrical fire, is it? It's a fire from the heat of the bowl, but it's on a jacket. Right. Okay.

[00:11:18]>> I picked up the soggy half burnt coat and burst into tears just as he walked in.

[00:11:23]So there I was, the girl who just started dating, hysterically sobbing, wearing only knickers, clutching his ex-girlfriend's destroyed coat like I'd summoned a demon.

[00:11:34]>> We broke up not long after. This is 8 years later, we're back together. And better than ever, he just doesn't let me his coats anymore.

[00:11:46]>> What a lovely.

[00:11:47]>> Oh, I love it when they stay together after stuff like that.

[00:11:50]>> Oh wow.

[00:11:52]That's just like naked and clutching a burnt coat.

[00:11:55]>> So funny.

[00:11:57]>> Can you imagine if she'd have burnt the halls down like >> what the hell?

[00:12:03]>> I mean that's that will take care of you know that kind of groggy that biting that's sobering you up.

[00:12:09]>> Yeah, that sorts you right out. Yeah, you're crying after it. But yeah. Yeah, you're having a panic attack. But yeah, and this is why they don't give you irons on cruise ships.

[00:12:16]>> Oh, is that why? I phoned I was on a cruise ship once doing a gig and I phoned up to ask for an iron and they said no we don't give out irons don't trust people >> cuz people are [ __ ] stupid.

[00:12:24]>> Yeah. Oh you do on a cruise ship.

[00:12:27]>> Have you done a cruise ship?

[00:12:29]>> Soft launches of two ships. Uh so just out into the channel back and forwards far enough far dutyfree legally up and down the channel and then home.

[00:12:37]>> And you need you needed an iron in that time.

[00:12:40]>> Listen.

[00:12:41]>> Oh god.

[00:12:42]>> I pack I packed things dense. I needed I had to give it to staff. They had to steam it. It was It was a [ __ ] nightmare. But uh Yeah. Yeah. Now, there was just a soft launch and a soft launch on a cruise ship. Still heathen.

[00:12:53]Wouldn't do it.

[00:12:54]>> Oh, no. I'm not good on boats.

[00:12:56]>> I've never done a cruise.

[00:12:57]>> Never ever. I'd like to try it.

[00:12:59]>> I don't never say never, but yeah, you don't even Why are you [ __ ] Why lying to yourself? You would never go on a cruise. Why being nice?

[00:13:07]>> Maybe I was Maybe I was fishing to see what the surprise thing was that was going to book you and maybe you've just ruined it.

[00:13:13]>> Yeah, there you go. She knows. Can you imagine if you booked your a little cruise line?

[00:13:16]>> All I'll say is all I'll say is Rosie, take a passport, pack an iron.

[00:13:20]>> Where we're going cuz they don't give you the where I am.

[00:13:23]>> Yeah, because you want to go see the Northern Lights. And if I'm going on holiday, I'm not going somewhere cold. I want to go hot.

[00:13:28]>> Say, I want to see the Northern Lights.

[00:13:30]That's my thing. I want to see the Northern Lights. Well, no, I'm not in the hospital with Northern Lights. I want to see a starry sky with no pollution.

[00:13:37]>> Heaven.

[00:13:37]>> A mate of mine said that he once was on a boat in the middle of the Mediterranean. There was no light pollution anyway and you could see galaxies and everything. I want to see that on me when we get go maybe like a safari in the middle of Africa like just desert Sahara get in the bin. Are you >> literally get in the bin?

[00:13:54]>> Literally get in the bin. I would there's nothing animals.

[00:13:58]>> That's the thing in a safari. You see a video of a safari and you go that looks good. You don't you can't see the smell.

[00:14:04]>> You can't see the smell, the sweat or the flies. It must be vile. No chance.

[00:14:07]>> Do you know how old are your kids again?

[00:14:09]>> 10 and five.

[00:14:10]>> Okay. You know where you need to go if you're coming down south. Have you heard of Port Limb Safari Park?

[00:14:14]>> No.

[00:14:15]>> Do you know Do you know um Sam Coughlin?

[00:14:18]She's a makeup artist.

[00:14:20]>> No.

[00:14:20]>> She's brilliant. She does actually.

[00:14:22]She's brilliant. She is the queen of recommendations. She's super mom.

[00:14:26]>> So Port Limbs down in Kent sort of Kent sort of Sussex border like uh >> near it's it's just brilliant. And you can stay in like giraffe lodges, tiger lodges. It's and there's really nice restaurants. It's part of the Aspenol Trust. It is brilliant. You have to It's my top recommendation for 10 and five.

[00:14:45]Your kids will love it. So, it's like all the joy >> just be [ __ ] >> No, it's >> Oh, is it?

[00:14:50]>> Yeah. Okay.

[00:14:51]>> It's a really top recommendation. It's real luxury. And we stayed on like >> we literally stayed in like a wood cabin. We got a really good deal. So, not spenny. Spenny. You can go spenny, but we didn't. We did like 150 quid or something for the night. You know what I mean? So, not for all of us. And then they said, "Oh, you've booked you've booked one of the restaurants. Should we send should we send one of our buggies to drive you over there?" We did go past the capabas and all that. And and we we didn't even pick like the high-end high-end. We just thought, "Oh, well, pub food, but really good food." So, you can do it really nice.

[00:15:22]>> 10 and five. It's funny, isn't it? Cuz they're like >> keeping them both interested.

[00:15:26]>> Honestly, top recommendation. 10 and five. They love it. There's tigers and lambs and giraffes and and you can do the big jeep thing. Really good. really good recommendation that is.

[00:15:36]>> All right, we'll have a little look into that.

[00:15:38]>> This podcast is not sponsored by wherever else. That's just a total freebie.

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