Lily Du Wants You to Flirt with Married People

Added: 2026-05-19

[00:00:00]I think men in LA are too full of themselves.

[00:00:04]>> Oh my god.

[00:00:04]>> Cuz there's so many hot women and they're so outnumbered by like great women that they're like Well, we were talking about it recently. Men are the prize right now and it makes me sick.

[00:00:14]>> It's disgusting. It makes me sick.

[00:00:16]>> It's not how it should be. They're little kings. Like they're little princes. They're spoiled for choice.

[00:00:22]>> Party god.

[00:00:23]>> Hi guys. I'm El Parker.

[00:00:24]>> And I'm Devon Young.

[00:00:25]>> And this is Party God. Woo. Today we have such a special guest. Her name is Lily Dub. She is the host of Dirty Laundry on Dropout TV. She's a comedian and you've seen her on Broad City, New Amsterdam, and Happy. She was awesome.

[00:00:40]>> Yeah, I loved her. She has some good party takes. I think you guys will be excited to hear.

[00:00:43]>> I know. And the coolest pants I've ever seen.

[00:00:46]>> Oh, yeah. Well, you know, when a guest walks in with cool pants, it's going to be >> Oh, it's on. Yeah.

[00:00:50]>> Yeah. She was a vibe. And I just loved her and she's just a great lady overall, I think.

[00:00:58]And she's going to come to our party tomorrow, which is great.

[00:01:00]>> Most importantly, she liked us enough that she's coming to our party. So, >> that's something I love when people show up for us. Well, Deon, how was your week?

[00:01:08]>> Uh, week was good. Oh, we've been We've been really grinding. I've been like in stress mode. We both stressed out.

[00:01:15]>> I know. I'm like, God, I'm like trying to like factor in rest and I'm just like, I don't.

[00:01:18]>> Yeah.

[00:01:19]>> Yeah. I feel kind of bad cuz you asked me the other day. You were like, I think I should take one day off a week where I don't work. And I was like, no.

[00:01:27]I was like, "Devon, I think I just need like one day no work. I'm feeling like burned out." Deon's like, "We can't.

[00:01:33]>> We don't have time." I was like, "Okay, cool."

[00:01:38]I But, you know, like we do need to just like keep going.

[00:01:40]>> We need to Yeah.

[00:01:41]>> And but maybe maybe I can sleep in.

[00:01:45]>> The thing is like we just need to keep grinding. That's what it's like when you have a new project. That's like, you know, I told you when I was like just starting a little secret. I was breaking like 80our weeks for the first like >> It's hard. I've never worked this hard at anything in my life.

[00:01:57]>> But also the nice thing about grinding and working hard is like eventually your body will force you to rest. Like you're going to get really sick or something.

[00:02:04]So don't like it's out of your hands.

[00:02:06]You don't have to worry about it. Like when you need a rest so your body will force you'll get like cancer or something.

[00:02:12]>> Okay.

[00:02:12]>> So don't worry about it.

[00:02:14]>> Um well now I'm worrying about it.

[00:02:16]That's really scary.

[00:02:18]>> I get one of those stress.

[00:02:19]>> Stop. Deon, don't put that out there.

[00:02:21]That's not good. Maybe I should go to the spa so I can get sick.

[00:02:25]Don't know. We don't have time. We really don't have time. We I need you well. I need you well.

[00:02:30]>> We went to the Cheesecake Factory this week, which is a part of my wall. We went with our dear friend Jake CR to the Cheesecake Factory like we said we would do on the pod.

[00:02:37]>> We stick to our word, you guys.

[00:02:38]>> And my wall is that I was the only one who finished my food and they >> you housed that meal.

[00:02:44]>> It was the biggest plate of food I've ever seen.

[00:02:46]>> Oh, yeah. They give you an entree that's like for three people.

[00:02:49]>> I ate all of it. And then Devon and Jake were like, "Yeah, I'm going to like take it home." I was like, "Oh. Yeah. No.

[00:02:56]Yeah.

[00:02:56]>> Well, I did my famous snake meal where I just only eat one giant meal in the middle of the day.

[00:03:00]>> You have to stop snake mealing.

[00:03:02]>> That's probably part of why you feel so stressed.

[00:03:04]>> I'm body hacking.

[00:03:06]>> It's in what way? What's the hack?

[00:03:08]>> The hack is that I feel sick after eating too much.

[00:03:11]>> Yeah. Know you're literally like a child. Like you're not eating during the day and then you eat like a gigantic meal in the evening. You don't feel good. Like Yeah.

[00:03:17]>> Yeah. I know. I feel awful after.

[00:03:19]>> We gota >> Yeah. Okay. We gota we got to workshop that. Plus, it's the cheesecake factory.

[00:03:25]All loved the cheesecake factory. Bad place to snake meal. That's already a very heavy meal.

[00:03:29]>> Yeah, I know. It was really good, though. I got the salmon.

[00:03:32]>> Oh, we had a really special time and we had a really nice waitress and she was really excited about the podcast >> cuz we just had some good news about the podcast, which we can't reveal yet.

[00:03:42]Sorry.

[00:03:43]>> So, we were celebrating a little and she was asking what we were celebrating and she was like, "That's so cool." We were like, "You don't have to lie to us." But like >> part of the meeting where my top popped open. Yeah, >> you know, I think it worked. My plan worked.

[00:03:55]>> Well, the plan always works.

[00:03:56]>> The plan Devon and I have this thing recently where like we're sitting in her car and we both realize that we're sitting like this. For the listeners who are just listening, our hands are together and it's just our fingertips touching in like a very plotting gesture.

[00:04:09]>> What's the guy from the Simpsons that would always do this?

[00:04:10]>> Uh Mr. Burns.

[00:04:11]>> Yeah, Mr. Burns style hand plot. Like we keep catching ourselves, this is not intentional, but we keep catching ourselves doing the Mr. burns and we're like if anybody were walking by this is the most like uh >> like they're up to no good >> condemning energy like well we should not be allowed to be doing whatever we're doing >> they're going to be like oh my god okay what do they what are they up to and you know what we are up to stuff >> we are and that's how we stay up if you're up to stuff you're you stay up >> yeah exactly >> always be plotting always be scheming >> scheming we're hustling >> we're just hustlers >> men are called hustlers we're called schemers sorry Yeah, come on.

[00:04:48]>> We're rebranding it.

[00:04:49]>> Absolutely.

[00:04:50]>> We're just making it happen. We're Mr. Make It Happen here at Party God.

[00:04:53]>> Yep.

[00:04:53]>> Also, Party God is run on Scorpio and Virgo placements. What do you expect?

[00:04:57]>> What does that mean to you?

[00:04:58]>> Plotting.

[00:04:59]>> Oh, cuz those are both plotters.

[00:05:01]>> Calculated. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:05:04]>> Interesting. Interesting.

[00:05:06]>> We're running on those placements.

[00:05:08]>> Yeah. Uh but that's my wall is that you guys both got to go bags and I I was like, "Oh, >> yeah. That was a great time." I'm my well I'm not going to count it as a window but I got to keep all my leftovers and Jake doesn't eat leftovers. Weird so I got to keep his leftovers and Elle had like two bites from her plate that I finished. Like >> it was all the leto I can't do leftovers. It freaks me out.

[00:05:32]>> What?

[00:05:33]>> It freaks me out. Like >> love leftovers.

[00:05:35]>> I wish I did. Oh my god. I wish I'd be >> I'm a spaghetti for breakfast kind of girl. Yeah. No, I love it. Yeah.

[00:05:41]>> Yeah. I wish.

[00:05:42]>> What's your window?

[00:05:43]>> My window I have a couple. I think I'm all windows this week.

[00:05:46]>> Okay, first I had a realization. I realized like all the best food is essentially a pig in a blanket.

[00:05:52]>> All the best food is a variation on a pig in a blanket. First of all, pig in a blanket already the best.

[00:05:56]>> A perfect that was the first meat I ever had cuz I was a vegetarian till I was eight.

[00:05:59]>> Oh, >> and I had a pig in a blanket and I was like, what is this?

[00:06:02]>> You're such a bourbon girl.

[00:06:03]>> This is in Texas actually.

[00:06:04]>> That's crazy.

[00:06:04]>> My mom was like, what? You ate meat anyway, please. But it's delicious.

[00:06:07]>> Pig in a blanket. Number one, like what I want on my wedding, like what I want served to my guest. Pig in a blank.

[00:06:12]There's no better meal. Thank god a pig in a blanket. It's all right there. It's the pig and it's the blanket. Like what else would you I'm sorry. Like what else would I serve? Like >> it's like they really tapped into source with that one and made something perfect.

[00:06:23]>> Oh god.

[00:06:24]>> And it's like it can't be t and it's so simple.

[00:06:26]>> No.

[00:06:27]>> And when it's like buttery too.

[00:06:28]>> Oh god. I was I was such a beanie weeny kid. I would like every day after school like beanie weenies.

[00:06:33]>> Wait, what's that?

[00:06:34]>> Oh my. Is that crazy? Maybe it's like a southern thing.

[00:06:37]>> Yeah. What is that?

[00:06:37]>> Um it's just beans and you cut up hot dogs and you mix it all together. You put them in the microwave.

[00:06:42]>> Wait, that does sound good. is so good.

[00:06:44]>> Good.

[00:06:45]>> Yeah. I mean, honestly, any meal with a hot dog added is an elevated meal. So, if you like if you do mac and cheese and then you cut up hot dog in there, that's you've elevated like hot dogs are use them to elevate what you have going on.

[00:06:56]>> It really is a beautiful snack. And >> yeah, >> I mean, Fourth of July, I'm Honey, I'm housing hot dogs on the 4th of July and I never am normally.

[00:07:04]>> That's the point.

[00:07:05]>> Yeah, that's the point. People always judge me because I say my number one favorite holiday is Easter. Second favorite holiday is the 4th of July. And people like obviously I'm not into it for political reasons. Yes, I get obviously like [ __ ] America like blah blah blah. That's so like >> an unnuanced perspective on the 4th of July. Fourth of July is beautiful because of hot dogs drinking during the day with your friends being at the pool.

[00:07:28]There's nothing like it's not complicated you One time I brought this guy that none of my friends liked to a party on the 4th of July and like he wanted more hot dogs and someone like handed him they like just made a full plate of hot dogs to pass out and they like handed him the plate to like take one and he just like took the whole plate of like five hot dogs and ate all of them and my friend was like, "Oh, okay. That's a monster."

[00:07:49]>> I was like, "That's a monster."

[00:07:51]>> I was so embarrassed.

[00:07:52]>> You can't recover from that. You were He was already on the edge. He was already being judged and he ate all the hot.

[00:07:56]>> He ate all the hot. They were like, "Okay, everyone like pass it out." But also, man, men think that's a serving of hot dogs. It's like >> I five.

[00:08:02]>> They think five is the serving.

[00:08:03]>> I know. Like at once.

[00:08:05]>> Like, as much as I love the dog, don't get me wrong, like >> I think his eyes went black and like his jaw and he just kind of like >> he snake meled it.

[00:08:10]>> Dropped. He snake me. See, that's how you do it.

[00:08:12]>> Yeah. Um >> Oh, so anyway, my point with that is like yes, pig in the blanket best food, but all other foods that are also basically a pig in a blanket, but like a different like like for instance, >> corn dog.

[00:08:21]>> Well, yes, that's a pig in a blanket.

[00:08:22]Sushi is a pig in a blanket. The pig is the raw meat >> and the sushi and the rice is the blanket.

[00:08:29]>> Yeah, exactly. Uh, a chocolate croissant. The chocolate is the pig. The croissant is the blanket. Every best food that we've ever invented in any culture is a pig in a blanket.

[00:08:39]>> I'm going to leave you with that. That's >> Kzone.

[00:08:42]>> Kzone is a pig and a blanket. Pig and a blanket.

[00:08:44]>> Yeah. Kzone is my family tradition. We make Kzones on Christmas every year. How homemade. My dad makes the dough and then we like Yeah.

[00:08:50]>> Oh my god.

[00:08:51]>> You got to come to family Christmas.

[00:08:52]Very cute. Yeah. The last one I was interviewing my dad about his like meth experience.

[00:08:57]>> I remember that and he was just like meth and you're like oh >> yeah. Yeah. It was really cute.

[00:09:01]>> My god.

[00:09:02]>> I have a couple other windows but I'll let you do yours. What was your >> My window is that a guy friend of mine apologized to me recently.

[00:09:08]>> Oh huge.

[00:09:09]>> And I was like truly the sexiest thing a man can do is be sorry. Because I was like whoa. Like my dream is like a guy coming to me and being like hey you're right. And this is just a friend of mine saying this.

[00:09:20]>> Yeah. You don't want to know how many times I listened to this.

[00:09:23]>> I I literally asked I was like because she kept talking. I was like, "How many times have you listened to this recording?" You said it's it's platinum in your house.

[00:09:30]>> It's gone triple platinum in my house.

[00:09:32]>> This recording of this her man this friend of hers apologizing.

[00:09:35]>> Just a friend too apologizing for me. I was just like >> oh it's so beautiful.

[00:09:38]>> It was like oh my god. Yes. Like more men need to be sorry is what I'm realizing.

[00:09:44]>> Yeah.

[00:09:44]>> Cuz I mean how often is a man being like you know what I was wrong?

[00:09:49]>> Mhm. honestly important skill for anybody. I remember I remember being in a relationship two-year relationship in college and learning that I instead of defending myself when I was wrong could actually just own it and like like apologize for a mistake that I made in the relationship. I was like that's huge actually. This fixes everything. This this is fine now. I just owned it and now we can move forward. He forgave me.

[00:10:08]>> The power of an apology.

[00:10:10]>> Yeah.

[00:10:10]>> The earlier you learned this >> and the power of forgiveness.

[00:10:13]>> Yeah.

[00:10:14]>> I don't know what that was about but >> have you seen the movie Hamlet too? I don't know. It's feel like a high five.

[00:10:19]should have come after that. It's powerful for >> we need to do more. Yeah, >> we Yeah, >> we never >> the power of forgiveness. I thought you had like something something big to drop like >> No.

[00:10:31]>> No, >> it's just the power of >> Yeah, we're not really forgiving anybody recently, but we will.

[00:10:35]>> No, I haven't been forgiving anyone recently. In fact, >> oh, what?

[00:10:39]>> In fact, I need more people to accept the fact that I'm not forgiving them.

[00:10:43]>> Huh?

[00:10:44]>> I'm cutting people off.

[00:10:45]>> I don't know who you're saying. I'm just being dramatic.

[00:10:49]>> Um, what's your other window?

[00:10:50]>> Um, window is that uh L and some my friends conspired behind my back to clean my car for me, which is very sweet.

[00:11:00]>> To be fair, like I didn't have much to do with it.

[00:11:02]>> L gave them the coordinates. She gave them how to get to my house.

[00:11:05]>> They wanted to >> They wanted to surprise you and I was like, >> "Yeah, >> just tell."

[00:11:09]>> It's very sweet. Shout out Pete at least. Shout out Lacy. Shout out Travis.

[00:11:15]Love you guys very much. It was very, very sweet. They sent over a car cleaner to my house. Uh, took him fully three and a half hours to clean out my car. It was I I >> a lot of broken glass.

[00:11:26]>> Well, I had two windows shattered in the last like year. And so the broken glass of that, the fallout from that was just broken glass all over the seats of my car. And so I would have like guest over like I would drive guests around and be like, "Hey, just be careful about the broken glass. They'd be like, "Where?"

[00:11:42]Like I'd be like all over the seat like you're sitting on already.

[00:11:45]I like use your use your eyes.

[00:11:47]>> You had podcast guests like in the car and they're like just move the glass >> fully. Yeah.

[00:11:52]>> Scoot the >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it has like I mean I always it's was a really beautiful gift. They did it in honor of our friend Cat who famously cleaned up my car one night while I left my car at her place. So it's really beautiful gesture. Really beautiful thing to do. I will say and I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

[00:12:08]>> What?

[00:12:08]>> Well, you know what's that phrase?

[00:12:10]>> A gift horse in the mouth. And you look a gift. You're not supposed to look up there.

[00:12:13]>> A what horse? A gift horse.

[00:12:15]>> A gift.

[00:12:16]>> A gift horse. If someone gives you a gift, you're not supposed to like question it.

[00:12:20]>> Oh, >> you don't know this phrase?

[00:12:21]>> I've never heard this phrase.

[00:12:22]>> We got to get you to Georgia.

[00:12:23]>> I've got to go to Georgia. There's all these cool phrases. I don't know. I'm like, what?

[00:12:27]>> Um, do you know anal glaucoma?

[00:12:30]>> Anal glaucoma? No. What's that?

[00:12:35]>> Anal glaucoma is like when you go like This is so stupid.

[00:12:40]>> Don't know that one. Analog gau is just like um when you just don't see your ass coming in to work today.

[00:12:47]>> Oh my god.

[00:12:49]>> I have anal gau.

[00:12:52]>> What a gift.

[00:12:53]>> Thank you.

[00:12:53]>> What a gift it is to have a friend from Georgia. Got to go to Georgia.

[00:12:56]>> We get anal ga all the time. I don't I don't see my eyes coming to work today.

[00:13:00]>> Um >> wait. Okay. So, but I was going to say the the risk if I'm saying you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. I'm getting so dizzy from having accidents.

[00:13:09]But but but >> I am worried and I've told you this before. Having a clean car could make me less good in bed >> cuz there's something a R a girl has RZ when she has a messy room, >> no TV.

[00:13:24]>> Well, they say like girls with a messy room have like good [ __ ] >> That's what I told you. I taught you that. Yeah, I taught you I teach you everything I know. A girl who has a messy room and no TV has the gives the best [ __ ] >> Like why though? Like what?

[00:13:37]>> I can't explain the mad. Like that's just a >> She's too busy like getting her [ __ ] good to clean a room.

[00:13:42]>> So now I'm worried it's going to take away my sexual part. We'll see.

[00:13:47]It's >> crazy.

[00:13:48]>> God being mad about your car being clean. That was a big noise up ahead. If you see >> Do you Do you have anything else? I have one last window I can just keep hitting you. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. The last is that we got to judge a danceoff for the first time in our party.

[00:14:00]>> Oh yeah. Oh my god. Yeah. So, we judged a dance off for Nitia Orman's mayoral campaign and it was really awesome and I felt like that's I felt like that's the kind of sit situation we need to be in.

[00:14:09]>> Yeah. Yeah. The power judging judging.

[00:14:11]Yeah. Judging put us in more judging situations, you guys. We're really in Yeah.

[00:14:14]>> I want us to like >> absolutely intoxicated off that power.

[00:14:17]>> Oh, it felt awesome. And Nia right there. Oh, dude. If she becomes mayor, like we're going to be tight with the mayor like >> Yeah. Yeah. She She That's future future mayor of LA, Nithia Ramen.

[00:14:24]>> I'm like, come on. I'll be like, "Well, I don't think Nithia would like to hear about this."

[00:14:27]>> Oh, yeah. I don't think I don't think our friend the mayor would like to hear >> Yeah. that you're kicking us out of this party. I think I think Nikur >> I can't wait.

[00:14:41]>> Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah.

[00:14:43]>> It was awesome and she's cool. So >> this is great. She's a former dancer. So this was sort of in honor of her. I like put this dance party together. I got a bunch of our friends to do it. Uh they Nobody wanted to do this. You guys, I probably asked like 30 people. Will you please compete in this dance off? No one wants to do it. Not enough clowns in this city after all.

[00:14:59]>> I should have asked those people outside having lunch. We walked up to the studio and there was like 15 clowns having lunch outside and I I was intimidated.

[00:15:07]I'll be honest.

[00:15:07]>> It's ominous. It's ominous. We referenced a few times in the interview today, but it's very ominous. They shouldn't be allowed to be together.

[00:15:12]>> I know. It's too much power. I'm like, you guys are going to do something really silly and I'm not going to have any control of it.

[00:15:18]>> I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's out of my hands. They're gonna start like doing back flips. I'm gonna be like, oh, it make me dizzy.

[00:15:22]>> God forbid.

[00:15:23]>> God forbid.

[00:15:23]>> Yeah.

[00:15:24]>> Put a little red nose. Not on my watch.

[00:15:26]No, on an art watch.

[00:15:27]>> Anyway, we should be careful that we're in their we're in their >> No, we're in their territory. I know.

[00:15:31]>> They're going to come down snapping and then we're going to be My bad.

[00:15:34]>> God. Yeah, you got offered a soda earlier. If you'd open it, I bet they would have been pop out snakes.

[00:15:38]>> God, you're right.

[00:15:40]>> I can never be careful.

[00:15:41]>> So close.

[00:15:42]>> All right. Well, guys, please enjoy our episode with Lily Doo.

[00:15:45]>> I feel very faint. Like I'm like, I should have got some calories.

[00:15:48]>> [ __ ] >> Um, >> I don't have any snacks.

[00:15:52]Hey, this is why I keep This is why I like to keep trash in the car.

[00:15:57]>> Eat some trash. Oh, yeah. Eat some trash, boys.

[00:15:59]>> Cuz usually I would have some old almonds or something in there.

[00:16:03]You guys mess with my system.

[00:16:06]>> Threw you off.

[00:16:09]Look, you guys threw on my trash.

[00:16:11]>> You threw them on my old poo.

[00:16:14]girl, you can't be happy.

[00:16:16]>> We were just talking about my friends just did this very sweet thing where they organized behind my back this um surprise cleanout of my car. Like they got somebody to come because of my car is like notoriously very messy. But I it's very very sweet. But I'm joking that they really threw off my system cuz I like I was supposed to bring breakfast here. I left it at the house. So I haven't eaten yet today and I'm feeling a little faint. And usually I would have like almonds like trash almonds in the car. Like I usually have like a system of like old like there'd be like half a eaten like candy bar or something.

[00:16:45]>> I'm like girl don't eat trash.

[00:16:47]>> But I mean I miss my trash.

[00:16:49]>> Wait, no. I always have a Kind bar and a beef jerky stick. But literally I ate them. Sorry.

[00:16:56]>> I have I have a snack, too.

[00:16:57]>> No, I'll be fine. We're We're sitting.

[00:16:59]I'll be good.

[00:17:01]>> Thought we do a quick lap lap around the studio just, you know, some energy out.

[00:17:05]>> Yeah.

[00:17:06]I can't be funny if I'm faint either, >> but you got this.

[00:17:10]>> No, I'm solid. I'm locked in.

[00:17:11]>> She's solid. Lily, thank you so much for being on Party Guide.

[00:17:14]>> Yeah, of course.

[00:17:16]>> Yeah. Welcome.

[00:17:16]>> You're so funny online. Oh my god. Thank you.

[00:17:18]>> Yeah. Well, we like to start our episodes by giving our guests a Party God score. It's a predictive score. And then we'll re-evaluate after hearing your stories. Great.

[00:17:27]>> Give you a new one.

[00:17:28]>> Um, off rip. Great vibe. I'm gonna go eight.

[00:17:32]>> Oh, yeah.

[00:17:33]>> Yeah. I'm honestly feeling Well, I'll give you I'll let you give your reason.

[00:17:36]>> Yeah. I mean, great vibe, great outfit, almost had snacks. Like, that's like sick.

[00:17:40]>> Almost had snacks.

[00:17:41]>> Thank you.

[00:17:42]>> Almost.

[00:17:43]>> Bringing snacks to the party. Important.

[00:17:45]We love that.

[00:17:46]>> Yeah, I'm feeling high as well. I was going to I was feeling eight as well. I have this um intuition. We haven't This is our first time meeting, but I have this intuition that you're um resourceful, that you have a strong social game.

[00:17:57]>> Yes.

[00:17:57]>> Resourcefulness is big at a party cuz if you're resourceful, you can pull a party out of a hat. Oh my god, I need that on a shirt. That's genius. You really can.

[00:18:06]I mean, if the night's going a certain way, you could be like, "Let me just switch up the vibe real quick."

[00:18:10]>> You can turn anything into a party.

[00:18:11]>> Exactly. Yes. And you can amend any social situation. You're adaptable.

[00:18:15]>> Wow. Okay.

[00:18:16]>> How do you react to this assessment?

[00:18:18]>> I'm feeling very flattered. I don't know if I can still live up or ever have lived up to this score, but I love that I'm projecting an eight out of It's actually so much more important than what the actual score is. What people are perceiving you as yeah perceived >> your rising your party rising is more important than your Yeah. Your sun placement.

[00:18:39]>> Yeah. Beautiful. What's your typical vibe at a party?

[00:18:48]>> Sorry for the audience. We're picking up a little. This is the first time recording next to the Alleian theater at DSP Studios. Uh shout out DSP. It's like 9 to5. I started clowns. There's a bunch of clowns practicing next door to uh Dolly Parton's 9 to5, which is I think was a great vibe to have in the background. I'm I'm feeling it.

[00:19:08]>> I got scared when I saw a bunch of clowns having lunch next to my car. I don't know what I'm going to go out to.

[00:19:13]Um >> it's going to be small.

[00:19:14]>> It's never It's never a good vibe. My party vibe is >> they're together.

[00:19:19]>> Scary.

[00:19:20]>> Honestly, now um I am married and I have a toddler >> and I don't know how much I'm partying anymore. I feel like I saw a clip from the podcast and actually reignited in me that I needed to be partying.

[00:19:37]>> Oh, see that is what we want. That's our goal.

[00:19:40]>> Yeah, that's great. God.

[00:19:42]>> I was like, "Wait, I should leave my child at home and go out and party." Exactly.

[00:19:48]>> Exactly. That's our mission. That's our mission here. Moms, leave that baby at home.

[00:19:53]>> Or more bars should be child-friendly, which I know not everyone is for.

[00:19:56]>> I'm actually pro. I I really want a space for moms because you it's so >> difficult being a mom already and it's can be from what I've heard very isolating. And so I think you need spaces that are like you're able to go to with your friends and let loose.

[00:20:09]What?

[00:20:10]>> We need a baby hole. We need a baby hole.

[00:20:12]>> Okay, that's dark.

[00:20:13]>> So, we had this thing when we went to Sundance. Um, there was this little closet on the stairs and you open it up and it's just like a little baby room.

[00:20:21]>> It's like a hole in the wall. Like literally like a hole like >> 2 by two feet.

[00:20:24]>> We called it the baby hole. It was like full of like baby dolls and like books and like a rocking chair. I'm pro.

[00:20:29]Babies don't need that much space.

[00:20:30]>> They don't need that much space. They're small.

[00:20:32]>> You're saying Lily should leave her child at the baby.

[00:20:34]>> I mean, a hole would still be an improvement. Right now, it's only breweries that are like kid-friendly, and I'm like, I'd rather a baby hole than a brewer baby brewery.

[00:20:42]>> Just pop them on the park bench. They're good.

[00:20:44]>> Well, I think you guys are talking about two different things. Lily is talking about a bar that's friendly you can bring your child to. L is saying leave them at home in a baby hole type situation.

[00:20:50]>> No, I'm saying bar should have a baby.

[00:20:52]>> Bar should have a bar. Baby hole. Okay.

[00:20:54]I wasn't understanding. I'm sorry. I'm >> I can't believe I wasn't bring the baby hole to the bar.

[00:20:59]>> See, exactly.

[00:21:01]>> That's the baby with the other babies in the baby hole. Get your drink on.

[00:21:04]>> What do you think a daycare is? That's just a big baby hole.

[00:21:06]>> Oh, one big baby hole. Yeah, exactly.

[00:21:08]This is baby hole.

[00:21:09]>> The See, the world is our baby hole.

[00:21:11]>> Yeah.

[00:21:12]>> I think it could be good.

[00:21:14]>> No, I like it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. More babies at bars. Normalize.

[00:21:19]Normalize babies >> because we want to have kids and it's like what? I'm expected to stop partying.

[00:21:23]>> Yeah.

[00:21:24]>> I don't think so.

[00:21:25]>> They're not bothering you. This is a thing I had when I was pregnant. M >> I was like, wait, there are so few universal experiences, but every single person who is alive was a baby at one point. And it's just one of the most univer It is a universal experience. And so I'm like, let them be.

[00:21:43]>> Yes.

[00:21:44]>> Let me bring the baby to the grave.

[00:21:45]>> It's like that. Oh >> yeah.

[00:21:47]>> Yeah. Give the baby some Molly and just let it do its own thing.

[00:21:51]>> Yeah.

[00:21:51]>> Yeah.

[00:21:52]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:21:52]>> It's crazy. We all were babies once.

[00:21:55]>> Damn.

[00:21:56]>> Crazy.

[00:21:57]>> It's nuts. You guys remember it?

[00:22:00]>> Y'all remember when you were a baby?

[00:22:03]>> So awesome. I was seeing a I was seeing I saw a baby the other day and like while the baby was being held, I was just like >> that must be so awesome.

[00:22:13]>> Oh, I know.

[00:22:14]>> Oh yeah.

[00:22:15]>> I get jealous of my baby.

[00:22:16]>> Yeah.

[00:22:17]>> Like what things is your baby getting to enjoy that you're jealous of? I think the whole general life of getting to be a baby that's going to grow up in Las whose like parents are >> not my parents and like I'm just like already your >> mom is like way cooler than mine was.

[00:22:38]>> Yeah.

[00:22:40]>> Yeah.

[00:22:41]>> That's so true.

[00:22:42]>> Yeah. I mean, I don't know about your background, but any babies that we would have are automatically going to grow up in a better situation than we did in terms of um in terms of like income and stability most likely. And like, you know, having access to I mean, you grew up around LA, but I grew up in rural Georgia. Like having a kid of mine, like having access to like >> LA, that's crazy. You're going to have like an entirely different experience.

[00:23:06]>> Yeah, totally. I I'm like I think normalize being jealous of your baby.

[00:23:12]like a fun day you having >> like bringing him around to like different LA things like >> you're not even two yet.

[00:23:20]>> I know. And everyone's excited to see the baby. Like everyone's like a baby star of the show.

[00:23:25]>> It's awesome.

[00:23:26]>> Yeah.

[00:23:26]>> They're jealous of how much attention they get.

[00:23:28]>> Of course.

[00:23:29]>> Always.

[00:23:30]>> And they're just like Yeah. Like they expect it. They're not even like, "Oh my god, you guys." Like, "Thank you so much."

[00:23:35]>> They take it for granted.

[00:23:36]>> They get picked up whenever they want and held.

[00:23:39]>> They just go like this. My friend's 5-year-old is still doing that. I said, "But how come a 35 not allowed?"

[00:23:45]>> No, literally.

[00:23:46]>> No, actually.

[00:23:47]>> No, >> I want upies. Yeah, give us upies.

[00:23:50]>> Normalize picking us up.

[00:23:51]>> Yeah. I was thinking the other day like imagine like we just find a giant and they just like pick us up.

[00:23:57]>> And like how awesome it would be to like get held by a giant.

[00:24:00]>> Yeah.

[00:24:00]>> It feels great. You get tired. They literally they can walk like some of these kids and they're just like I'm tired of held.

[00:24:07]>> Do you have the baby? Like uh my parents were tree planters. So when I was an infant, they had me like going out on like crew trips like traveling around the southeast planting trees and so I was always on the baby backpack like >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was always on the back.

[00:24:21]>> I want to be on the back. I love the back carry.

[00:24:24]>> Uh people are obsessed with wearing the baby in the front. Yeah. Just crazy. The weight distribution crazy. Put them on the back. You don't think about them.

[00:24:32]You go about your day. It's >> I just had nine minutes with you on the front. Like let's switch it up.

[00:24:36]>> Yeah.

[00:24:38]That's all. Probably feels awful.

[00:24:39]>> Even it out.

[00:24:40]>> Yeah.

[00:24:41]>> Yeah.

[00:24:41]>> Yeah. Oh my god.

[00:24:42]>> And back is like a good posture and Mac is like, "Oh, >> how old is your baby?"

[00:24:46]>> Um, almost two.

[00:24:48]>> That's fine.

[00:24:49]>> They're starting to like realize some things.

[00:24:51]>> Yeah.

[00:24:52]>> What kind of parties slashbar situations do you think you and your baby would like together?

[00:24:56]>> What's a good vibe for you guys?

[00:24:58]>> He likes to get on the table. And I get I know. I think all babies do. I And I go I get it.

[00:25:05]>> Yeah. I like to get on the table, too.

[00:25:07]>> 11.

[00:25:08]>> Yeah.

[00:25:08]>> Um I brought him to Everson Royce for a rap thing. They allow babies there.

[00:25:14]>> Oh, it says squad. I don't know. Yeah.

[00:25:15]What is that?

[00:25:16]>> It's a bar downtown that's like very bar and not um like breweryish. And I was like, >> yes.

[00:25:24]>> Oh my god.

[00:25:24]>> Hell yeah.

[00:25:25]>> Um his vibe at the bar is he's eating off the floor, he's drunk, he's dancing on the table.

[00:25:32]>> Babies are ultimate party gods. And that's the thing cuz they're just like they'll yell. They don't care if they look stupid. Like we need to start baby maxing ASAP.

[00:25:41]>> We need to start baby maxing. Yeah. I mean a baby's doing exactly what we're doing at the bar. The baby's being rambunctious. The baby's eating the food that they found on the floor. Baby I for sure dance on some tables in my lifetime.

[00:25:52]>> I did that last night. That's what we Yeah. A baby is like a party god without the alcohol. Like a baby's the purest party form of like party god.

[00:26:00]>> I think maybe Oh my god. Well, maybe that's just what we're trying to get back into when we party. We're just trying to get back into that childlike sense of wonder that we lost.

[00:26:07]>> Yes.

[00:26:08]>> Oh my god, we cracked baby again.

[00:26:10]>> Well, everything like falls apart like mus wise cuz I realized it.

[00:26:13]>> Universe baby again.

[00:26:15]>> The universe saw itself.

[00:26:16]>> Yeah, there's that what is it? Sufiism or Sikism? I always get the two mixed but they >> are two big words that I don't know.

[00:26:23]this like sort of um this spiritual idea that our whole life is the process of remembering what God is and that and that we just go on this journey again and again and that we have that inside of us and then we find that. So our whole process is just remembering that we >> we're God.

[00:26:41]>> I feel like we're party god >> party baby >> that we're party you know our whole process is just remembering baby again.

[00:26:48]That was the point. Oh my god.

[00:26:50]>> I will say um I like having a toddler, you get sick for like a long time sometimes. And then I did have like cabin fever. I felt like a caged animal after I had a cold for like all of March. And I was like, I'll I'll go to anything. I'll do anything. Let's party.

[00:27:06]>> And then I got hung over one time and I said, I'm done.

[00:27:10]>> This is evil.

[00:27:11]>> No hangovers. Now I literally feel like I'm dying. Like before I'd be like when I was in my early 20s, I'd be at work at 6:00 a.m. the next day and then I'm good.

[00:27:20]>> Yeah.

[00:27:21]>> Now two like two three days.

[00:27:23]>> Wow. I went to sleep late and I feel hung over today.

[00:27:26]>> Dead sober. Even like a little dehydrated. I'm like, "Oh, guys, I hope >> I love when my friends start getting older, my friends that are younger than me, and they're like, "Ow, what's happening? I have heartburn." I go, "Good."

[00:27:39]>> Yeah. Like my young friends, I'm like, "You have so good. You don't even know.

[00:27:47]>> Yeah. What's your party trick?

[00:27:50]>> It's embarrassing. I feel like when I was younger, I used to do a high kick and go into the splits, but this is before entertainment. I feel like if you're in everyone can do the splits.

[00:28:01]>> I can't do the splits.

[00:28:02]>> What? That's That's awesome.

[00:28:05]>> I think you're really not giving yourself enough credit.

[00:28:06]>> I know. I wish. Oh my god. I'd give anything to do the splits.

[00:28:10]>> I wouldn't stop doing the splits. This is a rare talonist part as far as I'm concerned.

[00:28:13]>> Tell me at the damn improv show all the girlies are doing slit. I go, okay, I need to find a new thing.

[00:28:19]>> And maybe it's an improv thing.

[00:28:21]>> Yeah, they're those musical theater girls, you know.

[00:28:24]>> I'm a musical theater girl. I can't even do a cartwheel, you guys.

[00:28:28]>> A roundoff?

[00:28:29]>> No. Back handspring.

[00:28:30]>> Not at all. Can you?

[00:28:31]>> No.

[00:28:32]>> Guys, we've got to go to a gymnast class >> so that you can up your party skills.

[00:28:37]>> Yeah. Well, I've been telling Devon we've got to go to a dance class because it's like the clock is ticking on when we're going to get challenged to a dance and like >> and like and and I feel like I'm manifesting it because I keep talking about it and someone's going to be like dance off and I'm going to be like [ __ ] like I'm I haven't been in the dance class yet.

[00:28:55]>> No. And it's going to be really embarrassing on this. It's like I feel every day like closer to the eye of Mordor. Like it's like scary. Like I feel we're going to be challenged any moment and we're not ready.

[00:29:04]>> Start practicing. start learning the coro that you break out.

[00:29:08]>> I have such a huge divide between how good I think >> I could be as a dancer >> course >> and then the reality is is sometimes you get a [ __ ] Old Navy commercial audition and they're like, "Hey, just freestyle to this music for five minutes."

[00:29:26]>> Yeah.

[00:29:28]>> And you have my nightmare >> and it's an absolute nightmare and you go, "Why? Why is my body moving like that?" Oh, and then you don't book and you're like, "Oh, we're that tape is just out there." So, >> yeah, that's awesome.

[00:29:38]>> The worst thing I ever recently I for like a comedy music video, they were like, "Send us a video of you just freestyle dancing to this so we can see how your body moves before we come up with coro for you."

[00:29:52]>> Oh my god.

[00:29:54]>> Don't look at my body moving. How about that? That's my private time.

[00:29:57]>> Nightmare. I only did body rolls for about 2 minutes. So that's kind of all I can do that feels like it's good dancing. You know, it feels >> I'm sorry, but that is dancing. Like, show me a dance move that doesn't involve a body roll.

[00:30:08]>> Yeah, it doesn't exist.

[00:30:09]>> Okay. Okay. Well, the thing about dancing for me is like I'm never dancing outside of a crowd. And when you're in a crowd on a dance floor, you are contained. You're like other people are dancing around you. Like there's an energy where you're able to feed off of other people. And most importantly, no one can really fully see what you're doing. No one can see cuz no one's watching you in isolation. It's so crowded ideally. So when you're dancing alone and everyone can see every move that you're doing in isolation, it's a very vulnerable.

[00:30:35]>> Yeah. The difference between like completely like lost in the crowds free without a care dancing versus like >> exactly >> self-conscious. That was me and my friends after her birthday a few weeks ago. We went out and they opened the dance floor and everyone was younger than us and we were the I was like I think maybe young people don't dance anymore. This is a thing. We were the only ones dancing in a circular room and everyone sat >> around like on the edges and kind of was on their cell phone kind of going like this and I was like this is a nightmare.

[00:31:07]>> This is why we have this podcast. I mean think about it like you turn 21. This is the time when you're going to go out and dance and drink and party with people and then the pandemic hits.

[00:31:16]>> So they were just in their houses on their phones doing little Tik Tok dances which isn't the same.

[00:31:20]>> And I think they're so afraid of getting caught on camera and getting in trouble.

[00:31:24]Of course.

[00:31:25]>> And I said, "No."

[00:31:27]>> Yeah.

[00:31:28]>> I I should have been 10 times canceled for everything I did.

[00:31:31]>> No, absolutely. That's the whole point of your college years.

[00:31:34]>> God, someone's throwing a camera in my face.

[00:31:37]>> Career over.

[00:31:38]>> I would black out every weekend. Every weekend I would black out.

[00:31:41]>> I used to be so afraid of getting black out cuz I was like >> cuz I was like so repressed as like a child and like sheltered and like not allowed to go out. Um, I have Chinese immigrant parents and I was like, >> "If I black out, all my darkest things are going to come out." And then the first time I actually like blacked out, browned out, I was like, "What did I do?"

[00:32:01]>> And they were like, "You just like kept apologizing." And that's so much sadder actually. I'm like that you're like the the side that comes out is just like, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Sorry."

[00:32:14]>> Just the guilt. And your parents are probably like, "How could you?" Oh my god.

[00:32:19]>> I'm sorry. I really feel like that is a way to really understand someone's core.

[00:32:23]Like them in a blackout or them just extremely drunk. You will understand their core identity or their core neurosis.

[00:32:30]>> Yeah. That's kind of like um people do Iaska. It's like let's go on a blackout retreat.

[00:32:34]>> Yeah.

[00:32:35]>> Yeah. What's going to come out? One of the first times I saw a friend black out. She started speaking Spanish. We were trying to help her. I said, "Laura, what do you mean?" She's like English. I said, "That's not true. I literally speak English."

[00:32:51]>> She like tapped into a past life or something.

[00:32:53]>> Yeah. She tapped into her Spanish self.

[00:32:55]>> That's amazing.

[00:32:57]>> Oh, that's awesome.

[00:32:59]>> I had a blackout recently.

[00:33:02]>> Recently, >> pretty recently, I had taken my sleep medication in the day, which I don't usually do cuz I was needing to take a nap before an event and I forgot that that like, you know, is still in my body. So when I had the alcohol later, >> went completely offline at the very end of the night and the guy that I was seeing who thankfully was there to like make sure I got home safe was like you like you just kept asking him to cuddle and I was like well that is my core that is my core desire. That is my core need and you were like I'm sorry.

[00:33:30]>> That's good.

[00:33:31]>> No, I wasn't apologizing for anything.

[00:33:33]>> I keep like kind of fighting people.

[00:33:37]>> Yeah, recently which is new. I think I'm I think I'm developing a backbone.

[00:33:41]>> Okay. Oh >> yeah, but it's only to men. Well, men keep sassing me. I think it's cuz we posted that clip and now men feel >> Well, you invited it. Yeah, >> you can't put that in a club.

[00:33:50]>> We were talking about >> the sassy man epidemic, >> right?

[00:33:54]>> The sassy What? What? Men have gotten really comfortable. I don't want to get into it cuz I'm just >> Well, the more we say it, the more we're putting it out there, but I mean, just between you and I, some men of recent >> I think men in LA are too full of themselves.

[00:34:08]>> Oh my god. Because there's so many hot women and they're so outnumbered by like great women that they're like, >> "Well, we were talking about it recently. Men are the prize right now and it makes me sick.

[00:34:18]>> It's disgusting. It makes me sick. Not how it should be. They're little kings.

[00:34:21]Like they're little princes. They're spoiled for choice." Yes.

[00:34:25]>> I was talking to my friend recently and he's hot. He's a hot guy in Los Angeles and he was like, "Yeah, like I don't have to ask girls out. Like girls are regularly asking me out." He's like, "I don't have to."

[00:34:35]>> Shooting fish in a barrel. I hate when men know they're hot.

[00:34:39]>> I love >> I for a a string of boyfriends in my 20s, it was all like guys who became hot but were um really overweight when they were younger and still still had really kind of low self-esteem.

[00:34:54]>> Yeah.

[00:34:55]>> And they treasured me >> and I and I need that.

[00:34:57]>> Yeah. That's what >> I keep meeting these guys who've been hot their whole lives and they're like, >> "Yeah, >> I think being No, >> I do think that's I will advocate that's why it can't be better to date younger because they don't necessarily have the self-esteem yet." And so you get them while they're grooming them.

[00:35:16]>> You get Well, yeah. Yeah, you have to.

[00:35:18]What in this economy like what, you know, when men are the prize, you got to do what you have to do.

[00:35:23]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You curate them into the prize that you want to see.

[00:35:28]That's cra Yeah. No, no, no. I agree with you. That's crazy that men can be so confident. I knew a guy who broke up with a pop star >> and I said, "Why?"

[00:35:39]>> Because they think they could date another pop star once they've had one.

[00:35:41]That's the other problem is every guy in Los Angeles or New York has had this experience of dating one woman a million times out of his league. Like a pop star, whatever. Like, >> and so they assume that that's their like now that's like, "Oh, I can't date like a regular girl." Like, I'm I assume that's accessible to me. Every guy, look at all these movies. Like, every guy thinks they deserve like a Margot Robbie. They all think like, "Oh, if I met her, like she'd, you know, >> she'd like me."

[00:36:04]>> Yeah.

[00:36:05]>> That's so crazy.

[00:36:07]>> Makes me mad.

[00:36:08]>> Meanwhile, I'm over here dating personality hires. Like, >> I'm just like, you know what? I just Maybe I got to work on myself right now.

[00:36:16]>> You?

[00:36:17]>> No.

[00:36:18]>> Maybe.

[00:36:19]>> No. Never change.

[00:36:20]>> Maybe I just got to >> make them change around you.

[00:36:22]>> It's got to be It's got to be younger.

[00:36:24]They just got to go younger. They're again, the self-esteem isn't necessarily fully developed. They don't know necessarily how many options they have.

[00:36:31]You scoop them up while they're still malleable and while they're still very impressionable, while they still are literally grooming.

[00:36:38]>> You wait until they turn you meet them when they're 16. You >> You pick them up from the airport to Los Angeles. They're new in town.

[00:36:44]>> Yeah. And then when they turn 18, it's legal.

[00:36:48]>> And then they're going to get cancelled >> and drive by some high schools.

[00:36:54]Oh my god.

[00:36:55]>> To be clear to the audience, I'm talking 24 and I'm talking maybe even a 25.

[00:37:00]>> No, I like it. I I don't think I think a lot of women won't date younger and they should.

[00:37:06]>> We have to expand our our prospects.

[00:37:11]>> Yeah.

[00:37:11]>> Yeah.

[00:37:12]>> I also I also think older at a certain point >> if a man is like past a certain age and he's single, I actually think Wait, this >> I think it's too late for them for anything. It's too late for them to go to therapy. If I meet like a 55year-old single like Zaddy and Silver, like I'm like, >> it's too late. Change. There's a reason you're still single.

[00:37:34]>> It's like 27 to like 33 is like the sweet spot of like finding a man to marry. Otherwise, >> I don't know.

[00:37:41]>> Yeah, I missed it. I didn't realize that I was supposed to catch it right in that range and I missed it. No, I missed it.

[00:37:46]Now the only thing that I could catch are men coming out of their first marriage, like a divorce, like recently divorced, >> which is wonderful. I've always said I'd be a lovely second wife.

[00:37:54]>> I don't think that's I just feel like, you know, I want a guy to get his first wife out of the way and then I'll swoop in.

[00:37:59]>> I Well, I think that's the only thing left for me. I think I'd be a really good stepmom. I >> I'm down to stepmom. Yeah.

[00:38:05]>> I I know a lot of people who I feel like have great relationships with their stepmoms.

[00:38:09]>> Seems kind of awesome. Then you get to be like the cool like let's go shopping even, you know.

[00:38:13]>> How'd you find your man?

[00:38:15]>> I don't recommend it. Improv. Improv.

[00:38:19]>> Oh no. No. You know, it's so cuz I would never recommend it, but when it works, I'm like, "Yeah, I met my husband and all my closest friends doing it. When it works, it really works."

[00:38:29]>> Yeah.

[00:38:30]>> Well, at least you know there's no like other women competing for that man.

[00:38:33]Like, >> but it can't be repeated the process.

[00:38:35]>> Yes. No, of course. Yeah. You got you got lucky. You struggled.

[00:38:38]>> The way I have been dogged by improv guys, it's like one time this guy was at a party. He dogged me so bad this night.

[00:38:44]And at the same party, that mean >> just like foul [ __ ] boy. And like he did a full like minute long space work of him like making a full cake and my friend was like horrified and I was still into him after that.

[00:38:57]>> It's bad. And he was the prize.

[00:39:00]>> It's Yeah. If even the improv guys are cocky like we're just in a bad >> No, but the clowns.

[00:39:08]>> Clowns. Are clowns cocky now?

[00:39:11]>> Yes.

[00:39:11]>> Even the clowns are cocky.

[00:39:13]>> You saw how intimidating they were having lunch outside. They were all sitting on a big bench. It's not good when they're together. It's not. They shouldn't be allowed to congregate.

[00:39:20]>> I walked up, I was scared. I was like, "Oh my god." Like, I hope they don't talk to me.

[00:39:24]>> Oh, no. I was intimidated by the clowns.

[00:39:28]>> They're intimidating. I would say it's dangerous to date an improv guy. I've been on a couple dates with improv guys where you think that you have good chemistry and then you realize like a couple dates in that there's really nothing there. Like they don't necessarily have like whatever. You're just not compatible. They're just so good at yes anding that you're like, "Oh, I'm charmed." Like you're having a charming like banter back and forth for the first couple dates. You're like, "This is great." And then you realize there's no there there.

[00:39:47]>> There's nothing underneath it. You realize it's like a mask and they're actually like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[00:39:51]Actually, I'm not looking for anything."

[00:39:52]And you're like, "What? Excuse me?"

[00:39:53]>> You know what helped? My husband no longer does comedy. The moment he moved to LA, he stopped.

[00:40:00]>> Yeah.

[00:40:00]>> I'm sorry. A man comedian men have been nothing but evil in my experience.

[00:40:06]Nothing but evil. And I'm like, "All right, go make the other girls laugh, babe."

[00:40:11]>> Well, you've dated a couple of specifically evil. I think I've had good I've dated some really nice comedians.

[00:40:16]Yeah. Some like really nice well-rounded. Yeah.

[00:40:19]>> You just go, "What's wrong with you that you wanted to do this in the first place?"

[00:40:24]>> Who didn't get enough hugs?

[00:40:26]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:40:27]>> I got it. I get it. But I don't know.

[00:40:31]>> My My friend went from dating comedians.

[00:40:34]Her boyfriend art history professor.

[00:40:37]>> Sexy.

[00:40:39]>> The the dream of a romcom. Yeah, >> he's creative, but he's professional.

[00:40:44]He's knowledgeable, but in a aesthetic way. Like >> also like a little bit of a power dynamic with the students, too. Like a man who's like everyone be quiet. It's like, "Oh my god." Like that's hot.

[00:40:57]>> Oh my god. I had the biggest crush on my history teacher in high school. He had like he was like a silver fox.

[00:41:02]>> It was so hot, you guys.

[00:41:04]>> Oh yeah.

[00:41:05]>> Crushes on my teacher.

[00:41:06]>> Was Mr. Piper.

[00:41:09]>> Oh wow. Hot. She got shy. She She went back to high school there. She's like a flashback. He was like and he was tall and he was like, "All right, guys." And like sometimes he'd make like kind of like dad jokes and all the girls in class would be like, "Oh my god."

[00:41:23]>> Yeah. Crush on every single even slightly attractive teacher that I've ever had.

[00:41:29]>> Yeah. Really? I've never had the older guy thing.

[00:41:31]>> Oh, really? Cuz I was just so rapidly horny between the ages of like six >> to 26.

[00:41:38]No, I was. But for other six-year-olds, like when I was six, when I was six-year-old, e pedophile, >> I would have intense sexual fantasies about the other boys in my kindergarten.

[00:41:50]Like, I'm doing like for real like tied up fantasies. Like, yeah, like I wanted to do things that they would have been scared if I told them what I wanted to do with them.

[00:41:59]>> Oh my god.

[00:42:00]>> Yeah. I was like, I had crushes, but like I would just always had like unrequited crushes. I didn't know what sex was. I didn't even know.

[00:42:06]>> I didn't know what it was, but I had a sense.

[00:42:09]>> Yeah.

[00:42:09]>> That that I'm so glad we like came of age pre internet. You couldn't just like go on your mom's phone and be like >> hardcore deep fake pornography.

[00:42:20]Can >> you imagine? I was just like, where's the pool jet?

[00:42:23]I was just like, "Internet, how does sex work?" Like, you just hear it was like a lot of stories on the playground. Like, >> like the dirty joke, the dirty story, word of mouth, what sex is.

[00:42:36]>> I got forced into a room in high school and two boys like pushed my friend and I into a room, locked the door, and made us watch Two Girls One Cup, uh, Kids in a Sandbox, like Kids in a Sand Hands, like all those like >> Yeah. And we just had to like sit there and watch it.

[00:42:52]>> But they didn't do anything to you. They just made you watch.

[00:42:55]>> They like clockworked orange. Like >> Yeah.

[00:42:59]>> That's bad.

[00:43:00]>> What a weird passive form of assault.

[00:43:03]>> Like I'm not going to do anything but you need I'm going to make you watch >> Oh my god. But like it was a very like it changed something.

[00:43:10]>> It was education. Yeah.

[00:43:12]>> Okay.

[00:43:13]>> Like in fifth grade when they make you watch the sex video. Remember those?

[00:43:16]>> Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Yeah.

[00:43:17]>> Yeah. It was crazy.

[00:43:18]>> Yeah. There's a play I think called Usual Girls by Ming Feifer and she talks about how like but like even like as early as like Peter Pan and like early animated movies so many scenes are like >> the ti being tied up on a boat and it's like you don't even realize like you think it's coming from nothing but even as a young girl you're getting bombarded with these images of like women being dominate and b and d >> I mean to this day when I'm having sex actually actually literally thinking of the scene from the Lion King when Simba gets on top of wrestling. She's like >> he's wrestling the little what's her name? Nala.

[00:43:57]>> Nala. He's wrestling Nala and they pounce on each other and then he gets on top and he pins her down. I think about that as I'm having.

[00:44:03]>> Yeah, that's what it came from. It didn't come from nothing.

[00:44:06]>> Exactly. They knew what they were doing.

[00:44:07]>> They're trying to teach us like ladies, they're like they're using those movies to teach us like the man is in charge.

[00:44:13]>> Ladies, I don't even think they did it intentionally. I just think it was like weird animator adult men.

[00:44:20]They want to see stuff that they Yeah.

[00:44:22]>> I've been watching Lilo and Stitch. All the adult characters have come gutters.

[00:44:25]It's crazy.

[00:44:27]>> Yeah. Her sister body.

[00:44:31]>> I know. It's crazy. Also, Ple like hips >> dressed as a woman. Like that's awesome.

[00:44:37]>> Is that the character's name? The one who was always in drag.

[00:44:40]>> Oh.

[00:44:40]>> So, which teachers in your high school or your chapters like what would do it for you?

[00:44:44]>> I had a physics teacher. Hm.

[00:44:47]>> I had a US history teacher >> names.

[00:44:50]>> Had a literally no idea. Literally my mind is a blank.

[00:44:58]>> Well, what teacher?

[00:44:58]>> There was a young math teacher. He was very Christian.

[00:45:02]>> When a teacher comes in and you're like, "Teachers are allowed to be 22."

[00:45:05]>> Insane. That's crazy.

[00:45:07]>> I know.

[00:45:08]>> Yeah. We had this one sub and he became a permanent teacher and he was 26 and he like was our like health teacher kind of. So he was like all right beginning of class like everyone can just say like all the slang terms they know for sex and it was like a 26-year-old guy and we were all just like orgasm. I kept saying orgasm. I kept raising my hand and I was like joystick. I was like I literally I said way too many things.

[00:45:31]>> You wanted to impress him with the sex words that you do.

[00:45:34]>> I was like I know a lot of sex words.

[00:45:36]>> What is this activity? What is >> clitoris >> literally vagina all the technical terms orgasm >> I know I just kept raising my hand I think he was like all right from that >> I don't I don't understand what's the utility of this activity for >> cuz like he wanted us to like get all the like slang terms out of the way so we like every time something happened it wouldn't be like giggle and giggle yeah so he was like everyone say all your slang terms >> that's a really soft pretense for getting teenagers to say sex words in front of you a six-year-old man >> like after a girl like graduated or like she left school. She was like kind of one of the bad girls. She like dated him or like she like went to Vegas with him and I'm like >> well she knew the most sex words.

[00:46:13]>> She I know. I was trying. I was like me next.

[00:46:16]>> She knew more sex words. Damn.

[00:46:19]>> You were trying. You were in the game.

[00:46:20]You were probably runner up. He was like the girl knows a lot of sex words. But >> this is I mean this is the thing. It's Look, adults should not >> adults should not date children. Devon Deon Deon sorry most adults should >> something that we do need to acknowledge is that kids want to have sex with adults sometimes.

[00:46:37]>> Oh, but that doesn't mean you should.

[00:46:41]>> But it's up to the adult to be like cuz they have a fully formed frontal lobe.

[00:46:46]>> Oh, I when I was like at a wedding when I was 14, there was this guy who was like 26 and I was like hottest guy I've ever seen and like I kept trying to like put myself close to him. I'm like this poor guy. I'm like 14 and I wanted him bad. And it's like, can you imagine like being in your 20s when like a kid is literally like like I'm sure I was like he'd see me across the room just like >> No, but if this were the 60s or 70s like you that would have been you would have gone on a date with this man. You would have like Yeah.

[00:47:11]>> I just watched a Clint Eastwood movie, The Beguiled. And in the opening he goes, "How old are you to this little girl?" She goes, "Old enough to kiss lays one on her."

[00:47:20]>> That would have been my dream at that wedding. So I was like, "Have you seen the beguiled?" It's a really beautiful film.

[00:47:26]>> Um, >> yeah.

[00:47:27]>> Yeah.

[00:47:27]>> Yeah. Yeah. What are your thoughts on >> I cannot believe I'm talking about this again. I was just on a friend's podcast.

[00:47:31]She said, "What are your thoughts on age gap relationships?" I said, "You're trying to cancel me. Everyone's coming for my throat. I can't believe I'm talking about this again."

[00:47:40]>> Are you in an age gap?

[00:47:41]>> I'm three years older. Okay. See, leading the damn charge. That's what we need.

[00:47:46]>> That's what I'm saying. That's a sweet spot.

[00:47:48]>> Date younger.

[00:47:49]>> I think I think I want a younger man, too, cuz I like I'm a little control.

[00:47:54]I think also I my thing is I think once you're all adults like 28 it's all whatever it's all fine I'll be like I'm so much older do you even remember dialup and he's like we're the same age basically.

[00:48:09]>> Exactly.

[00:48:10]>> Oh yeah.

[00:48:11]>> Yeah. I feel like honestly when guys are older than me they don't know my references but like guys who are younger than me do. I don't know what it I just if a guy even is like one year older than me, he wants to take on this kind of paternalistic like educating me role where he's like did you know about I want to show you this and I think just by the merit of like being slightly older like did comedy before him was like more established. It just like freed me.

[00:48:41]Well, it kind of evens it because men like in the patriarchy, sorry, they like automatically have a little more >> power or they feel they have a little more power.

[00:48:50]>> Yes.

[00:48:50]>> So, we got to I'm really like talking about how men are >> partying more.

[00:48:56]>> I keep talking about how men are great.

[00:48:58]Like, I need to Who am I today?

[00:49:00]>> Are you I don't think that was a thesis for today's episode. But yeah, let's go back to partying. Okay. Do you What's the biggest party fell?

[00:49:09]>> The biggest party foul.

[00:49:14]>> Oh, I think it's just like not being able to like read the convo and talking too much about yourself.

[00:49:21]>> That's like that's not like a fun big honestly doing the splits in the middle of the party when nobody asked for it.

[00:49:28]>> That's amazing.

[00:49:29]>> I don't think anybody's going to ever not >> getting too drunk when nobody else is.

[00:49:34]>> Yeah, >> been there.

[00:49:36]>> Yeah.

[00:49:38]>> Yeah. Um, being a bad plus one.

[00:49:41]>> Oh, yeah.

[00:49:42]>> Um, I have a friend who's great at parties, but then sometimes just on an off night she'll drink too much and all of a sudden I don't know that many people at the party and I have the drunkest friends >> and your babysitting at the party.

[00:49:59]>> Yeah. No, no, no.

[00:50:00]>> You got to be a good plus one. That's 101. I used to like I hate small talk and I like just like going up to someone like talking about like real when I was like I was remembering this one New Year's when I was like 21. We were in New Orleans. I um sat down at a group of guys like table. I was like all these guys are cute. And I was like what's your most repressed memory?

[00:50:26]>> Hell yeah.

[00:50:27]>> And then the guys were like oh this party thing happened this thing. And then one guy was like, "Um, I've never told you guys this, but in college a girl sexually assaulted me." And everyone's like, "Oh my god, brother.

[00:50:40]I'm so sorry." And I was like, >> you're like, "Party jackpot.

[00:50:47]>> I would never do that to you."

[00:50:49]>> So that's so like theater person like let's like unpack our trauma together.

[00:50:54]>> Oh my god. I just I used to just always want to be like, "What's your worst fear? What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? cut their [ __ ] >> Yeah, >> but sometimes it gets too real too fast.

[00:51:04]>> I said, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry." All the boys really came together though from that. They all kind of were like, "Oh my god, dude." We didn't You never told us or And I'm like, "Okay, so it works."

[00:51:14]>> You had to like inch out and pretend like we had like Yeah, you did. Yeah.

[00:51:18]You gave them a gift if you think about it.

[00:51:20]>> Honestly, yeah. So maybe he needed to tell his boys and >> Wow. So maybe it was the blessing and >> partyless. You saying I would never do that to you.

[00:51:29]>> Yeah.

[00:51:31]>> The moral.

[00:51:32]>> I definitely feel like I went through I partied more in my 20s and I went through different phases of partying depending on like the groups of people you're with.

[00:51:40]>> What were the phases?

[00:51:41]>> High school, zero partying. Not allowed to leave the house. Allowed to see maybe one movie a month in theaters and that's it. I was a prisoner. Um, college. I went to an all women's college. Kind of a depraved, horny energy.

[00:51:57]>> Were girls hooking up?

[00:51:59]>> Yes. But then also, I mean, talk about like men being like a prize thing. If you were straight and there were men at the party, >> they they'd be the way we were all like throwing ourselves being like, "Oh, at this one disgusting house off the side of the road where like five UMass boys live. This one Daryl plays the guitar."

[00:52:23]And we're all dying to go see Daryl.

[00:52:26]>> God, where's Daryl now?

[00:52:27]>> Crazy. Truly tip to any 18 to 22 year old listener boy in college, go hang out at the women's college. Go to their parties. Like you're going to >> clean house.

[00:52:38]>> Absolutely.

[00:52:39]>> It's it's mostly lesbians. It's mostly lesbians, but then Yeah. But it also was like such a safe space. We were always like taking our tops off and like getting n and I remember like my last college party.

[00:52:53]>> What?

[00:52:53]>> Guys, go to college. But you're not but but not if you're if the energy is bad, leave.

[00:53:00]>> Um but yeah, I was like at the at my last college party, I was like, "Wow, maybe this is the last time I'll be in a safe space where I can just like take my top off >> um and party with my girls." Um, and then I briefly worked in finance and I brief so briefly >> and all those people were really into like clubs and that was >> fine.

[00:53:28]>> Oh no, that doesn't sound fine. Going to clubs with finance.

[00:53:31]>> No, like it's good to have experienced it >> cuz now I cuz now I don't go >> what's it? Cuz anything I haven't done, I'm a to rom romanticize it. and go like you don't want to romanticize the club.

[00:53:46]>> Yeah.

[00:53:46]>> Yeah.

[00:53:47]>> The club I'm sorry the club is the worst way to party.

[00:53:50]>> I know >> I'm sure we have listeners that are club enthusiasts. I support y'all. But I it's to me it's it takes everything out of the enjoyment of a party. To be in a place where you can't hear, you can't have conversation.

[00:54:03]>> The only way to enjoy it is to be intoxicated. Like if you have to be intoxicated to enjoy a party, that's not a party you should be at.

[00:54:09]>> Yeah. There is a brief window of time where if you are 20 years old and you go with 20 of your American friends to a place in London where we're all studying, then it is >> it is kind of fun.

[00:54:21]>> It is for a brief window of time when you're really young. Yes. When I was 22, I was like, "This is awesome." And now Oh my god. I'd be like, "Get me out of here." No.

[00:54:30]>> The craziest guys in the world being like, "Hey, >> gun to my head." I'd be like, "Kill me."

[00:54:34]>> And then like you feel like cattle is a woman cuz like the product is the women.

[00:54:38]It's not the alcohol. The women get in free so the men can talk to the women >> and it's like, "Oh, I just feel like a product being here."

[00:54:44]>> No.

[00:54:45]>> Bananas. Well, please tell us about a time you were a party god.

[00:54:49]>> I don't know if this um made the party, but I used to go to weddings and have sex with the best man.

[00:54:55]>> Oh, >> and absolutely. That's awesome.

[00:54:57]>> I'd be like, >> that's so fun. It's like kind of like his day, but he's not getting married, so he's like the next best >> thing. Julia, that's the best prize of the night. You're not even settling for a groomsman. You're like the best man.

[00:55:12]>> Being hooked up with the best man.

[00:55:15]>> The best man of the night.

[00:55:16]>> The best man there. And then he also God, it's but it's so stupid. It is like going to an improv show and being like, "He's funny." Or like going to a concert and being like, "Wow, the drummer has so much charisma." It's like watching a man in a tuxedo give like a lightly comedic speech and be like, "Wow."

[00:55:34]>> Well, I'm with you. The sexiest thing a man can be is visible. And so it's like I see a man on a stage, I'm like, whoa.

[00:55:40]>> And like a good friend. Wait, also I'm like he is at least a good enough friend. Cuz these are I'm like it's not >> Well, one of them was a brother, so you have to You're like, but you're like you're at least a good enough friend that somebody entrusted you to talk about them at their wedding. So you're trustworthy, >> right?

[00:55:58]>> Yeah. Bar the bar so low for men. People know you >> like you.

[00:56:02]>> Wow.

[00:56:03]>> It's a cliche for a reason. Yeah. I totally support trying to bag the best man.

[00:56:07]>> Yeah. Then the next wedding, so that was the first two weddings I ever went to.

[00:56:10]And then the third wedding I went to >> with someone I was dating >> and the best man was like a weird married improviser man. I said, "Okay, it stops here.

[00:56:19]>> It stops here." Yeah. This ends now. My generation.

[00:56:22]>> Yeah.

[00:56:23]>> Yeah.

[00:56:23]>> I did that once. I hooked up with the best man.

[00:56:26]>> And it was awesome. And Devon and I are actually going to be on a show soon >> and he might be there. So, >> is he in LA or he's visit? Okay.

[00:56:35]>> Yeah.

[00:56:36]>> Interesting. That's probably all I should say on that.

[00:56:38]>> Yeah. Well, that's all we'll say on that.

[00:56:40]>> Damn. I don't think I've been to a lot of um sexy enough weddings where the best man would have been someone I would have had my eye on.

[00:56:47]>> Yeah.

[00:56:47]>> It's Yeah, it was like fun single people, young people. Well, no. Well, one was a family wedding and my parents were there >> and I was supposed to be staying in the room and so he got a call in the middle of the night and he answered and he said, "Yeah, she's here." And I said, "What the?"

[00:57:07]>> It was your parents.

[00:57:08]>> Yes. And then my mom rode a little golf court golf cart and came and picked me up and she said, "You can't be going and having sex with strangers at a wedding."

[00:57:20]>> Oh, mom. And I said, "I didn't. I was so tired I forgot your your room number and I fell asleep and she said your dress is inside out.

[00:57:30]>> Damn.

[00:57:31]>> Cuz I took it off to go to bed. I was tired and I I knew something was wrong cuz the dress had straps in the back and I was like, "Okay, it's kind of complicated." He was like, "No, it's really easy.

[00:57:40]>> Sabotage."

[00:57:42]>> Damn.

[00:57:43]>> And that's like that's the sign of a par of a kid who grew up with strict parents is how quickly you can lie.

[00:57:48]>> Yes. I go, "Well, gaslight." Cuz they would gaslight me. Right. They >> be like, "We didn't hit you." I'm like, "I was leaving that."

[00:57:55]>> See, it's a balance. Yeah.

[00:57:57]>> My mom wasn't strict, so I'm so like, "Mom, here's everything I did." Like, that's the key, you know?

[00:58:02]>> I want your kid to be honest. You got to be like, "That's cool. I can't wait to talk to my kid about that."

[00:58:09]That's so funny. Yeah. I feel like I'll be like, "Hey, it's like the kids who rebelled the most were the kids who had the strictest parents."

[00:58:15]>> Absolutely. Of course. Yeah.

[00:58:17]>> The kids getting into trouble. And the kids who like black out the most their freshman year, the kids who have like no handle over alcohol.

[00:58:23]>> Yeah, >> me. I was goody two shoes in high school and then to get to college, I was black out every goddamn weekend.

[00:58:28]>> And it's brutal because yeah, you're so sheltered that you like go create. But the good thing about partying a lot in college is then I went and did improv in my 20s and those are people who didn't party in college or high school. You're still all of a sudden I'm chilling.

[00:58:46]>> Yeah. Yeah. That's a party god. You're a party god among the improvers.

[00:58:50]>> Ooh, true.

[00:58:51]>> I do like, you know, also I'm like a lot of parties you go and like nobody's dancing.

[00:58:55]>> I do like to start the dancing.

[00:58:58]>> Oh my god, we got to come tomorrow and then we'll get you.

[00:59:01]>> We need you to >> tear up for us.

[00:59:04]>> Wait, also this is a thing I've been thinking. I'm like more people need to be flirting with married people. Um I think please. This is a thing I've been thinking of like like is she just like like in a French or Italian way, you know?

[00:59:21]>> Like where like they're always like honk honk. Um like just do it in a nonhitting on way without the expectation. I think that's where it gets like dicey. You're like, "That man's only talking to me because he is trying to actively have sex with me tonight." In a European way, it's just kind of like, "We could have sex whenever you want, but also if you don't want, that's okay, too."

[00:59:50]>> It's like a, "Hey, I think you're hot.

[00:59:51]What's up?" And it's like as a compliment, but not as like a I'm trying to get in there.

[00:59:55]>> Exactly. It's like flirtation as play.

[00:59:57]Like flirtation is just part of the banter. Flirtation is part of the conversation. That's how we like interact with each other.

[01:00:02]>> It's just a beautiful way to interact with people and like get close to people. And being married is so wonderful, but the worst part is that nobody flirts with you anymore.

[01:00:11]>> No, >> that's what I'm afraid of. That's what I'm afraid of. Cuz that's my whole thing.

[01:00:14]>> No, it's not going to stop. It's not going to stop. I say bring back flirting with your friends. Like I I flirt with my friend. Like that's play.

[01:00:22]>> I love to walk down the street hand in hand with my friend. And I always want to sit on the same side of the booth at my best friend.

[01:00:28]>> Exactly.

[01:00:30]Like you look gorgeous, too.

[01:00:32]>> Like it's fun. That's flirty.

[01:00:33]>> Yes. Low stakes flirting. We'll make sure that you're you're flirted with at the party tomorrow to bring someone.

[01:00:39]>> It'll be in good hands. Yeah.

[01:00:41]>> Yeah. Well, you'll be flirted with tomorrow. It's going to be the energy.

[01:00:44]>> Yeah. Oh. Uh >> seven minutes in heaven.

[01:00:46]>> Yes. We have a segment called Seven Minutes in Heaven. We're going to give you five rapid fire uh scenarios. Did anyone ever actually play this game as a kid?

[01:00:56]>> No. Well, I never did seven minutes in heaven. I did spin the bottle, but I I don't think we ever like got to the closet. We did a lot of truth and dare >> like on the school bus and stuff >> and I was so like pent up and I'd always like give a dare that everyone's like whoa calm down. I'm like sit on his lap until he gets a boner and they'd be like stop just like just like yell the word penis. That's a dare.

[01:01:19]>> You would have fit right in with my high school theater people cuz like literally it was like a who can grop who kind of truth or dare thing. Like literally this guy got dared just like wrote me and I was just like okay well he got dared.

[01:01:30]Well, it's the game.

[01:01:31]>> I let him. You're at the Met Gala and it's time for your photo. You see that Anna Winter is wearing the same outfit as you and she looks pissed. It's photo time. What do you do?

[01:01:41]It's like, come here, queen. Let's take a photo together. I love matching outfits.

[01:01:47]>> Okay, good. Okay.

[01:01:49]>> Also, I have a lot of issues with this event, girl. Let me tell you, it's crazy you let Jeff Bezos sponsor it.

[01:01:57]>> T is tea. I literally can't not say my opinion at all times. That's maybe a party foul of of mine. I have to say what I'm thinking.

[01:02:06]>> I think that's a party.

[01:02:07]>> Awesome. People are I wish people said what they were thinking about.

[01:02:11]>> I mean, you're not going to get invited back to the Met Gala, but you're suddenly a folk hero.

[01:02:16]>> One All you need is one good year. Why do you have to keep going back?

[01:02:19]>> Exactly. You don't want to go back anyway. And now Exactly. You've criticized this event like you do it publicly. Like that's huge. Uh, you can go to the debt gala and be with Zoron the next year is great.

[01:02:29]>> Yeah, exactly.

[01:02:31]>> All right, so we're going to answer this one pre- relationship you. How you would have handled this?

[01:02:36]>> Great.

[01:02:37]>> You're at a party and your ex walks in with their new boo. You don't have a date at this party. What's your next move?

[01:02:46]>> Literally, um, you know, I've never had a good relationship with an ex. Uh, not a strategic move. My real move. Get in a huge fight with them.

[01:02:58]>> Hell yeah.

[01:02:59]>> Huge fight with them.

[01:03:00]>> That's powerful.

[01:03:01]>> Is is what I would actually do.

[01:03:03]>> That's awesome. Yeah. You've done this.

[01:03:05]Have you done this? It's This is a dream.

[01:03:08]>> No. I I I've had so many fights with exes in bars. Dating in New York is so You get so desensitized to having fights and crying in public. Really? Just like >> That sounds awesome.

[01:03:19]>> Being against a brick wall, having a breakup, being on the subway, crying behind. It's like you're just like I'm in the public sphere.

[01:03:29]>> Go live in New York. Have a breakup in the middle of the street.

[01:03:31]>> Oh my god. I have a breakup in the middle of the street.

[01:03:34]>> Yeah. And in LA's too private. Everyone can go to their cars.

[01:03:38]>> In the car. Oh my god. I had a break up in the car last year and it was awful. I was just crying in the car.

[01:03:41]>> I'll see a couple fighting in their cyber truck and I'm like, "Bring it to the street.

[01:03:46]>> Let us watch. Let us watch."

[01:03:48]>> Yeah.

[01:03:49]>> Yeah. I mean, that's the thing. It's like if you're going to like have a public messy situation, like at least let us see.

[01:03:56]>> Yeah.

[01:03:57]>> Yeah. And if you're going to post about your relationship and make it very public, like post all the highlights, then like we also deserve to see the collapse. The collapse. Oh, yeah. Cuz I have such cognitive I know that it's just like a image that they're projecting. But I do have such cognitive dissonance when you're like, they were so happy in their Instagram stories last week. What do you mean they broke up?

[01:04:17]Well, that's the thing is when they start posting more, you know, they're on the rock, so they're posting them all the time. It's like, >> yeah, that's a couple on the edge, as you would say.

[01:04:24]>> Mhm. All right. Would you rather >> Okay.

[01:04:28]>> have a frier haircut for every party you go to. So, that's bald on top and like, you know, the little halo.

[01:04:35]>> No.

[01:04:36]>> Or only drink hot Dani water at every party you go to and that's the only thing you can drink like out of the bottle. Hot Dani water. I love hot water. Why is that even a punishment?

[01:04:47]What a treat.

[01:04:47]>> You know, hot Dani water in the bottle like after a bottle of >> Dan Dani is the worst bottled water cuz it's owned by Coca-Cola and it tastes like >> tastes like ass. And but then like in a hot car all day is gross.

[01:04:59]>> Then having a haircut that men are actively flying to Turkey to try to fix as a girly.

[01:05:07]>> I think Lily's right. I don't think you did a good job with this one. I think >> be absolutely god at it. Just tastes so bad.

[01:05:15]I'm not that taste that. This is a you thing.

[01:05:18]>> As a as a Chinese person, I love hot water. I know the bottle it has something with you. You're maybe allergic.

[01:05:27]>> It's the micro plastics.

[01:05:29]>> I will say though, if you were the girl, the cute girl with the fire haircut, that would become your signature in LA.

[01:05:34]You'd be like, "Oh, she's a little she's like rocking that." Like, >> yeah. I'm not cute enough.

[01:05:40]>> Yes, you are.

[01:05:42]>> to >> You can't walk around. That's why you're not getting flirted with. You are. And you are going You're >> You got to get that frier haircut and then I think things might switch up.

[01:05:49]>> Yeah. Yeah. I think you you're actually too cute and you need an uphill battle.

[01:05:53]Like you need something working against you.

[01:05:55]>> Exactly. They'll be like, "Wow, she's called being married. Nobody flirts with you anymore."

[01:06:01]>> You cuz you're not going to parties. You got to >> take that ring off when you go out.

[01:06:05]That's why.

[01:06:06]>> Well, also Well, we'll hold the ring.

[01:06:08]We'll hold the ring.

[01:06:08]>> We'll hold the ring. Okay.

[01:06:10]>> Actually, it would be fun. Can I wear it for the night?

[01:06:11]>> Yeah. Yeah, you can wear it. You want to wear my ring?

[01:06:14]>> We're like, "Sorry, I'm married.

[01:06:15]>> Sorry, I can't actually."

[01:06:15]>> We have similar sized fingers. You can wear my ring.

[01:06:17]>> Oh my god.

[01:06:19]>> The power. The power.

[01:06:22]>> Absolutely. Beautiful.

[01:06:23]>> You get into like the Lord of the Rings guy.

[01:06:24]>> She was afraid to put it on. What are you >> I feel like it'll change.

[01:06:29]>> It's going to make me >> It's going to transform.

[01:06:31]>> Gollum.

[01:06:32]>> Yeah. Wait. I think we should do the hookup one anyway.

[01:06:36]>> What? Okay.

[01:06:39]Sure.

[01:06:39]>> Do it.

[01:06:40]>> Okay. You have three options to hook up with at this party. Very drunk but fun, brooding and hot but kind of mean. Or funny but shy. Who are you going home with?

[01:06:50]>> Brooding hot mean. Oh my god.

[01:06:52]>> Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Why is that even a question? Pride prejudice.

[01:06:57]Twilight. Like all the hottest guys are like quiet and mean.

[01:07:02]>> You guys are >> mysterious. Something to strive for.

[01:07:05]>> You guys are corrupted. I'm going very drunk but fun every time. I love I love the ham at the party. I love the very drunk but fun.

[01:07:12]>> You do love drunk but fun.

[01:07:13]>> Brooding doesn't do anything for me.

[01:07:14]>> That's great. Yeah, >> drunk and fun is great. People need to love drunk and fun. They're not getting enough in love. Love does dark and brooding and me >> exactly >> is getting too much love.

[01:07:23]>> Oh, cuz I'm just like oh my god who's so mysterious and like what's going on in that head.

[01:07:27]>> Drunk fun. I'm like sh like I'm drunk fun.

[01:07:31]>> I like that none of us are funny but shy.

[01:07:34]>> I don't want shy.

[01:07:35]>> I don't want shy.

[01:07:36]>> What are you so shy about? You're an adult. Grow up.

[01:07:40]It's literally narcissistic to be shy.

[01:07:42]>> Yeah, exactly. Like why are you so worried about yourself and how you're coming across? Like maybe think about other people for once.

[01:07:47]>> Also quiet. I never want a moment of silence.

[01:07:51]>> No, I want that.

[01:07:53]>> But you're going to get a lot of silence and brooding and hot. Very drunk is never going to stop yapping.

[01:07:57]>> No. Speaking of quiet, I was like hooking up with this guy recently and like I like made a joke, but it was kind of like me like bullying him a little.

[01:08:05]>> No, you shouldn't have done that. We talked about this.

[01:08:06]>> I know. And then he like stopped. Of course you can't sex.

[01:08:10]>> You can't bully a man.

[01:08:11]>> You bullied him in the middle of sex.

[01:08:13]What did you say? You can cut it, but I do want I do need to know.

[01:08:17]>> I was like, we can cut this.

[01:08:19]>> I was He like played guitar and sang for me like before we hooked up the night before.

[01:08:23]>> Doesn't matter. You've already agreed.

[01:08:24]You were already in.

[01:08:25]>> And so we like hooked up and I was like, remember when you played guitar last night?

[01:08:30]>> Why did you have to say enduring sex? I don't know. I'm self-sabotaging. Well, she >> Was it bad?

[01:08:38]>> No, I was like, I liked it.

[01:08:40]>> But of of course you're not He's not thinking, oh, she liked it cuz she called it out during sex. Like, she's thinking like now he's in his head. He's like, oh my god, that must have been really cringe. Like, but Elle's doing this thing that I understand because I only stopped doing it till recently where I also felt like during sex I needed to be a clown. Like that I need to like keep joking around and being a ham. And it's like it's actually fine.

[01:09:03]Like being a clown is what got me into the room. Being the ham is like what's getting me laid, but actually like I can just shut the [ __ ] up now and like >> that's it. It's actually No, I get Yeah.

[01:09:13]>> I can't stop joking.

[01:09:17]>> What do you mean? I just need to like be sexy and like in the moment like no, I'm going to be like this is crazy.

[01:09:21]>> But I think you know what that's why can't they roll with that? Why can't it be all things? Sex can be like sexy and joking and serious and and it can be like >> save it for when you're in love. I mean I don't know. I don't know. I like I do I do still like to joke around a bit but that's like when you're really comfortable with someone and also you just can't be negging them. That's very different than like making a cute little like like I love to do like the after you both come you're like high five like you know like the cute stuff like that.

[01:09:48]That's great. But like >> you can't be >> Did you say something worse?

[01:09:52]>> No. I like I don't know. I think I'm just like scared of actually getting close to someone. So, I keep like sabotaging myself because also right before I left I saw like tampon stuff in the trash and right before I left I almost picked a fight with him about it about like what is there another girl here? And then I remembered like after I I didn't then after I left I remembered like oh my god that was my tampon trash.

[01:10:12]>> She was this close to blowing it up.

[01:10:14]Like this close.

[01:10:16]>> I think that's funny.

[01:10:19]like this isn't just this just isn't the right person >> for you. There's someone out there >> who's the right kind of for that in two weeks. I don't think in two weeks you can get jealous over another girl's tampon trash that turns out to be your tampon trash.

[01:10:39]>> Did you play it off as a joke?

[01:10:40]>> I didn't say anything.

[01:10:42]>> Thank god I like didn't bring it up and then after I left I was like, "Oh my god, that was my trash."

[01:10:48]That's so funny.

[01:10:49]>> I don't know. I just like I want to fight.

[01:10:52]>> I do. I have that impulse. I want to fight.

[01:10:55]>> I don't know. It's like things are going well and I'm like ruin it. I'm like >> sex is good.

[01:10:59]>> Yeah. Yes. Exactly. I want tension in a fight.

[01:11:02]>> Disagree.

[01:11:02]>> I love makeup. Sex. It's great.

[01:11:04]>> No. I just I I guess I think the reason that I would pick a fight is because I have this like um ancient anxious attachment and the picking the fight is the way of like if I don't feel enough security in the relationship the the fight is the a the way to test it and b the way to push them away without me feeling rejected. I'm like >> that's it. That's it.

[01:11:25]>> Yes, absolutely. And honestly, I was always doing that and always giving ultimatums um until I got on SSRIs and literally it >> Oh, maybe that's it. Maybe I need to be medicated if I stop >> spiraling.

[01:11:37]>> Yeah.

[01:11:38]>> Hell yeah. We need an SSRI sponsor.

[01:11:40]>> Yeah. I think they might be like, "It's about time." Ladies, I've never been on SSRIs.

[01:11:47]>> Wow.

[01:11:47]>> Maybe I need to.

[01:11:48]>> Hard to get off of them is what I'll say. But honestly, been a lifecher for me and all my friends. Okay.

[01:11:55]>> So, >> yeah.

[01:11:59]>> Weigh the options.

[01:12:01]>> Get a sponsor. to see if Luxifro can't send you some for free.

[01:12:04]>> I bet they wouldn't.

[01:12:06]>> We might need it.

[01:12:06]>> Yeah. If you're a major drug company.

[01:12:11]>> Okay, we have the last one. You have an unlimited budget for your birthday party. What are you planning?

[01:12:16]>> Um, bring in all my friends to a fun city. Doesn't matter where. We can go to Montreal. We can go to Mexico City. We can go to Vegas. Whatever.

[01:12:26]>> And >> we're just going to have a great time with each other.

[01:12:30]That's so humble. That's like That's beautiful. You're like, I just want to connect with my friends. We're like performing.

[01:12:36]>> No. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:12:38]>> But I don't want be. She'll perform for like a Qatari prince. Like um I don't need her. I just like I want like my friends to have like the best trip and we go somewhere and it's special and it's just us and we >> private jet >> get. No. That's scary.

[01:12:59]That's scary. We can fly first class.

[01:13:02]>> I'm sorry. I don't romanticize money that >> private jet's pretty [ __ ] evil.

[01:13:08]>> It's pretty You're like shaking. I don't feel safe. I want like the largest flight.

[01:13:14]>> Yes.

[01:13:14]>> Um and we all go and we just like have a wonderful time for my honeymoon. I stayed at a hotel that was so nice they gave us things, you know, instead of the other way around, like where you're like, "Oh, you >> there's earplugs here and they cost $25 if you use them." There's like feed you water in the fridge, but you have to pay for it. Like a hotel where they're like, "No, we want you to drink like somewhere that's that nice." Amenities. Love an amenity.

[01:13:40]>> Yeah. Spa.

[01:13:42]>> Yes.

[01:13:43]>> Yeah.

[01:13:43]>> It's cuz I'm old.

[01:13:45]>> No, I need to go to the spa. But I get sick from we spa. Why?

[01:13:48]>> I don't know. I think it might be me being dehydrated and like letting out stuff and then I get sick. Or maybe >> some water.

[01:13:56]>> I know. I need it.

[01:13:57]>> You do always get sick after the spa.

[01:13:59]>> I get sick after the spa. I I'm not supposed to I'm not supposed to relax.

[01:14:02]It's like I keep my body at a very tense way and that's what it's used to.

[01:14:07]>> Your body's in fight or flight mode and it's flying when you're >> and when I take a moment to rest it's like ah >> don't do this.

[01:14:14]>> Oh my god.

[01:14:15]>> Yeah.

[01:14:16]>> What's your special idea party? Do you always keep asking this question?

[01:14:19]>> Oh my god. Um, probably just like me and like a bunch of like all my crushes. I'd like get all my crushes to like >> in one room.

[01:14:26]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'm just like maybe like maybe kind of like night one of the Bachelor.

[01:14:32]>> Okay. Yeah. My ideal party. I'm the Bachelorette.

[01:14:36]>> Fun.

[01:14:36]>> And then you guys are there also.

[01:14:37]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[01:14:39]>> You buying for your love? It's like me and like it's me and all my girls and we're all kicking it and then there's like a bunch of guys that want us and we're in a >> actually Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Hot guys, all my girls, guys that want us. That's >> And so they're sort of in application mode, too. Are they doing their thing where they walk up and they present their little skill?

[01:14:55]>> Yeah. Yeah. They all do like a little thing and then we're all like I don't know. But it's like Well, it's more of like a bachelor in paradise, but I want to be at a mansion. So it's like >> just like me and all my girls though. So it's like there aren't other women. It's like the only women there are women that like we trust and we love. Okay.

[01:15:09]>> And then like >> I way Thank you for elevating me already.

[01:15:12]>> Oh, that's true. And then we're like way outnumbered by like all the guys that are hot and competing for us.

[01:15:18]>> Yeah. No, that's beautiful actually.

[01:15:19]>> Yeah, cuz we're the prize >> and that's not stressful to you at all.

[01:15:22]Or you're living in that stress and you love it.

[01:15:24]>> I'm tense at all times. We can't go to the spa.

[01:15:26]>> Okay.

[01:15:28]>> I need chaos and uh tension.

[01:15:31]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[01:15:31]>> No, that's beautiful.

[01:15:32]>> And then Beyonce performs.

[01:15:33]>> And then Beyonce performs. Okay. I love a party with a mission where you're trying to get a friend hooked up.

[01:15:40]>> It's like it's a it's a you're like this is charity. I'm so generous.

[01:15:46]>> It's the least I could do. The least I could do is get you laid. I have done that before. My most successful one was I got my boyfriend's best friend laid and he was like, "Oh my god, dude.

[01:15:58]You're the goat." And I was like, "Yeah, it was nothing, man." Like I felt so cool.

[01:16:01]>> Yeah. You feel like God.

[01:16:02]>> Yeah, exactly. I felt like God. He was like, "Thanks for the assist." I was like, "Assist, honey. I was running this work." Yeah.

[01:16:08]>> Yeah. I got you. I got the girl to trust you because I trusted you.

[01:16:13]>> It's definitely Yeah. harder to hook it up for a guy.

[01:16:17]>> Yeah. Cuz it's a guy.

[01:16:19]>> For a girl, you just go, "Hey, have you met my friend?"

[01:16:22]>> And then you leave, >> right? They just need they just need the space. Like they just need the time.

[01:16:28]>> But guys, it's like he's he's trustworthy. I swear he's fine.

[01:16:32]>> He has a job. Exactly. God, >> he's he's not in debt.

[01:16:37]>> Even that I'm like whatever. If he's in debt, that's fine. Um, what's your party take?

[01:16:44]>> What's my party take? I feel like I've had a lot of takes already. Bring babies to the bar. Everybody should be flirting with me.

[01:16:55]Um, not enough people in LA drink.

[01:17:00]>> I know. Everyone's on shrooms. It's like, okay, space eyes, like relax.

[01:17:04]Okay, pupils. I'm like, every everybody should be getting um a little brown out once a year. I agree.

[01:17:16]>> I agree. Let loose.

[01:17:19]>> If you're not like parting up to the edge, you're probably not, you know, you should come up right up to that edge.

[01:17:26]Mhm.

[01:17:27]>> Browning out is perfect because you want to have some things of like, "Oh my god, I said that." And it's like, "Yeah, >> but mostly I think >> people should be flirting with people, not just the ones they want to have sex with. Flirt with everyone."

[01:17:39]>> Yeah.

[01:17:39]>> It's fun.

[01:17:40]>> Flirting is fun. I flirt with cashiers.

[01:17:42]Every cashier I flirt with. Trader Joe's. Honey, I am running the Trader Joe's when I'm a customer. I'm flirting with everyone there.

[01:17:49]>> And it makes everyone feel good.

[01:17:51]>> Yeah.

[01:17:52]>> Mhm.

[01:17:53]>> Exactly.

[01:17:53]>> Yeah. 100%.

[01:17:55]>> Yeah. All right. Should we give Lilia a check out score?

[01:17:57]>> Yeah. Okay, you guys.

[01:17:59]>> Oh my god. If you have to lower my score, >> no, I think eight. I think it's going to be eight still. Oh my god.

[01:18:07]>> I feel like I'm so excited to party with you. I I like that you dance and I just think you're a great vibe.

[01:18:12]>> Oh my god. Thank you.

[01:18:13]>> Yeah.

[01:18:13]>> Yeah. I also think I think this is the first time where we both stuck to our original score. Yeah. We had a good read on you.

[01:18:20]>> Yeah.

[01:18:20]>> Yeah. There's nothing that I was like, "Oh, this needs to go down." I love that you're advocating so much for mothers and mother's rights to party. And >> sorry, can I bring my baby to your party?

[01:18:34]>> I was going to say absolutely, but I'm worried that they won't be allowed at the party at the party.

[01:18:38]>> I'm worried that they won't be allowed at the venue. I'm worried that it'll be out of our hands.

[01:18:41]>> No, it's not a baby friendly venue at the party.

[01:18:44]>> Our hands.

[01:18:44]>> It's not a baby friendly date to baby, but anti-baby at the party.

[01:18:47]>> Oh, clip that.

[01:18:50]>> That's okay. My child will be asleep.

[01:18:53]>> Okay, we're at >> if the venue allows babies. I want to go on the record. I'm very pro you bringing the baby to the party.

[01:18:59]>> Absolutely. They're not.

[01:19:02]>> Not at the Silver Lake Lounge.

[01:19:04]>> No.

[01:19:05]>> Baby's first time at the Silverling Lounge. That's crazy.

[01:19:08]>> Wow. See, I'm jealous.

[01:19:10]>> Right. Damn. All right, Lily, it's been an absolute pleasure.

[01:19:14]>> Thank you for having me.

[01:19:15]>> And oh my god, thank you for coming on.

[01:19:16]We'll see you tomorrow.

[01:19:17]>> Okay. Y party on.