Self Inquiry (Part 3: What to Do After)

Added: 2026-05-03

[00:00:00]Okay, part three of the three-part series for self-inquiry.

[00:00:05]As I mentioned in the first two videos, I've broken this down into three parts.

[00:00:09]One is what precedes the inquiry, what to do during the inquiry, and what comes after the inquiry.

[00:00:17]And as I described in my book, all three of these are important. And what comes after is maybe the most important.

[00:00:24]Uh maybe not, but it's it's surprisingly important.

[00:00:29]Uh and as importantly as what you don't do after. And I've talked about this in every video and I'll say it again here is once you ask the question, you're not looking to conceptualize. You're not looking to think about an answer. You're not looking to form a um a map.

[00:00:46]You're not looking to arrive at a thought-based answer of any kind at all.

[00:00:51]Now, I'm sure you've heard me say this or many people have heard me say this multiple times.

[00:00:56]But I want to say it maybe slightly differently it in case there was someone listening who for whom it has not landed yet. And that is almost all the time, pretty much all the time, when we're asking questions in usual contexts, asking a question of your friend or your partner or your children or your parents, when somebody's asking us questions, whether it's your boss or a co-worker or your lover or teacher, whoever's asking you questions, whoever you're asking questions of, you're essentially always looking for a thought answer. You're almost always looking for a a verbal answer, a confirmational answer, a conceptual answer, something that is easily um characterized by thought, right?

[00:01:43]So, it's totally natural to expect to use questions to gather information, to gather knowledge, to clarify something conceptually.

[00:01:53]So, we just have a habit of doing it.

[00:01:56]And it's totally natural um when we've been doing this all our life that we're going to try to apply that to any time we ask a question.

[00:02:05]But this is a very has a very very different feel. And the very different feel comes in really after you ask the question.

[00:02:12]Uh if we ask a question that's conceptual, like I described of a friend or a partner or a boss, um after we ask the question, we're in this kind of mode of receptivity with expectation. Like I'm receptive, I'm listening, hopefully. I mean, sometimes people ask questions they're actually not listening. That happens, too, but hopefully, you know, when you ask a question, you're actually looking for an answer from someone.

[00:02:41]And [snorts] you're receptive. Like I'm waiting for that person to to do something. I'm waiting for incoming information of some kind, whatever it is.

[00:02:50]But also we have expectations.

[00:02:52]Meaning, if I ask you, "What color are you going to paint your nails?"

[00:02:57]I have expectations. I'm I'm receptive to the answer, but I have expectations you're not going to say "Tuesday at 4:00 p.m."

[00:03:03]or "Jack the Ripper." You're not going to give me an answer that just doesn't match the question, right? So, uh you have an expectation, whether you know it or not, when you ask questions in the typical way.

[00:03:16]That's the key difference here. That's the key difference in what happens after you ask a question when we talk about self-inquiry.

[00:03:23]Really any kind of inquiry, but specifically we're talking about self-inquiry here.

[00:03:27]That is you will find a way to ask the question and then release release it from expectations.

[00:03:40]This is the critical thing you do after you ask the question here.

[00:03:45]And and give it time. Meaning, like I said in I think the second video, you don't want to use it like a mantra.

[00:03:52]They They say the same thing with using a koan in Zen.

[00:03:55]Think Ramana said something like this.

[00:03:56]You don't just go, "I am." Or "Who am I?

[00:03:59]Who am I?

[00:04:00]Who am I?" And you don't say, "I am. I am. I am." And you don't say, "Moo. Moo.

[00:04:06]Moo. Moo." Right? Now, you might start doing that at the very beginning because it just helps keep your attention there for a for a minute or helps to start to orient to the process or something. But soon after that, you'll have to really not do that. As I mentioned in the second video, in the process itself, um you have to apply yourself with this curiosity to the process itself, to the to the koan, to the question.

[00:04:37]So, if you apply that curiosity, you have to have gaps in thought.

[00:04:41]You have to have gaps in your constant stream of thought. But if you're using it like a mantra, that can kind of keep a a sort of thought going in a way.

[00:04:51]>> [snorts] >> Uh but if you if you ask a question and release it into the pause, into the hush between thoughts, you're in a better place.

[00:05:09]And if you can ask the question, "Who am I?"

[00:05:15]with curiosity into this pause, not grabbing a thought, not looking for a thought, not actively thinking about anything, just pure noticing.

[00:05:42]And this last part's important.

[00:05:46]Without expectation.

[00:05:50]And seeing if any expectation sneaks in, it's a thought.

[00:05:55]This is where I see people stumble a good amount afterward.

[00:05:59]>> [snorts] >> They say something like, "I've been doing this for this many years or this much or I've done it in, you know, and XYZ never happens."

[00:06:09]It doesn't even matter what that is that they think is supposed to happen.

[00:06:13]The even the formulation of the of the question or comment that I get from people often tells me that they have an expectation.

[00:06:21]And me trying to back them up a little bit more, back them into their beyond the the I thought, into what is not that I thought.

[00:06:33]Uh helping them back behind the expectation that's often unconscious.

[00:06:40]Wow.

[00:06:41]Talk about staying in the gap.

[00:06:44]Staying in the pause.

[00:06:48]Can you exist right now without expectation?

[00:06:54]Can you subscribe to the pause with curiosity, without expectation, without giving into the tendency to think?

[00:07:26]Are you willing to just see what happens to your experience when not a single thought arises?

[00:07:45]Are you willing to stay in the gap so long that you forget about gap?

[00:07:54]You forget about any expectation.

[00:08:02]You forget for this seeming need to grab a thought, which anchors you in apparent time.

[00:08:10]Can you let all that just go?

[00:08:18]Can you really surrender to this?

[00:08:26]Seeing that there's just this wide awakeness without need to self-reflect through thought.

[00:08:45]Without needing to confirm anything.

[00:08:49]You don't need reflection.

[00:08:54]You don't need expectation.

[00:08:58]You don't need thought.

[00:09:03]You don't need completion.

[00:09:07]You don't need to understand.

[00:09:12]You don't need to land.

[00:09:18]You don't need to realize anything.

[00:09:25]You don't need to entertain anything the complaining mind is doing.

[00:09:32]You don't need to entertain anything the doubting mind is doing.

[00:09:41]You don't need to entertain anything the self-absorbed thoughts are doing.

[00:09:50]Seeing that's not you.

[00:09:54]What feels like you, what sounds like you, seems to refer back to you and thought none of it matters.

[00:10:04]Can you stay here?

[00:10:11]This is what you're called to do after inquiry.

[00:10:19]It's a whole lot of nothing in one way.

[00:10:23]But a whole lot of mystery.

[00:10:28]A whole lot of everything.

[00:10:32]Free of concepts.

[00:10:36]Free of bindings.

[00:10:43]Free of problems.

[00:10:47]Free of needs.

[00:10:51]Free of unmet needs.

[00:10:55]Free of spiritual concepts.

[00:10:59]Free of the need to reject spiritual concepts.

[00:11:06]Free of the need to side with any particular way of speaking about non-duality.

[00:11:14]Free of your life as you know it.

[00:11:19]Free of your adulthood.

[00:11:24]Free of your childhood.

[00:11:28]Free of your fears.

[00:11:32]Free of your unmet needs.

[00:11:39]Free of this or that.

[00:11:48]Free of exhaustion.

[00:11:56]Free of having to decide.

[00:12:02]Free of indecision.

[00:12:07]Free.

[00:12:10]Free.

[00:12:14]Free.

[00:12:18]Stay here.

[00:12:21]As Ramana said, don't just make this a meditative practice.

[00:12:28]Where else do you want to go?

[00:12:34]Why would you want to go anywhere else?