Airplanes and Whales on Coffee with Malcolm #493

Ajouté : 2026-05-26

[00:00:00]Um, good morning everybody.

[00:00:03]I hope I don't die here. Uh, hey, how's everybody going? Doing whatever. It's coffee Malcolm. It's Tuesday morning. I can't say sentences properly. We're going to be talking about paper airplanes and whales. So, keep that in mind. Thank you for being here as always. Hey Mel, how you doing this morning? Let me get a swig of this coffee real quick.

[00:00:24]Ah, there we go. So, yeah. Uh, today is National Paper Airplane Day, but we always start with the joke of the day.

[00:00:30]And the joke of the day is, why was the lettuce embarrassed? It saw the salad dressing.

[00:00:37]But I don't know how if the light turns out in the refrigerator, how did the lettuce see the salad dressing? And how the dressing know how did the salad know to dress properly if the lights out inside the refrigerator?

[00:00:50]See, that's that's where I go with it.

[00:00:53]There's more to that joke because they're not letting on.

[00:00:57]Yeah. Unless it was on the table in front of everybody and that'd be kind of embarrassing.

[00:01:03]So, I think they had more pressing concerns like being consumed versus whether or not the salad was getting dressed.

[00:01:12]But, you know, who am I? Just a guy on YouTube drinking coffee and asking silly questions.

[00:01:22]Anywh who, National Paper Airplane Day.

[00:01:24]I made a couple of paper airplanes for you guys to see. Here's the classic that I think everybody knows. This is the one that everybody's like, "Oh yeah, I made that one 5 million times." It's It's the, you know, it'll go good distances.

[00:01:38]It'll fly straight. You can mess with the wings back here to keep it a loft.

[00:01:42]Um, you know, and some people like to tape it closed here. Some people leave it open like that. Some people put a a paper clip to get a little more weight on the nose of it. Um, yeah, your classic paper airplane. And then there's another one that I like to build was this guy right here. This is the one I like to make. Um, when you throw it, it likes to fly in circles and kind of spiral down and it'll do like 10 foot circles. So, you kind of just gently throw this guy and it'll and like a boomerang. It'll come back and it'll just keep flying around and around in circles. Again, you can mess with the wings a little bit.

[00:02:18]keep it up a little bit longer. But, uh, yeah, that's the one. That's the one that I like. That's the only two that I know how to make.

[00:02:26]And, uh, I think it was my dad who got me a, uh, paper airplane book on how to make all these funky, weird paper airplanes. And the book was garbage.

[00:02:36]It was better to tear the pages out of the book and make these two airplanes than it was to try to figure out what the hell they were talking about in that book.

[00:02:43]because the diagrams and the step-by-step instructions made absolutely no sense. The the diagram the Yeah, the diagrams were like tra I don't know where he got this book.

[00:02:55]Maybe he found it in a gutter somewhere.

[00:02:57]I don't know. But it was a horrible horrible book. But um let's see here. Um today we're honoring that. Um gives you today's National Paper Airplane Day. Gives you a chance or an excuse to play a little bit. It's a exciting inexpensive little uh stimulation form of entertainment. It brings lots of joy. Um so yeah, put down your smartphone, grab a paper airplane.

[00:03:20]Take there's some people who make um they'll make like a hundred of them, get top of this building in the city and just like launch them all and they all just kind of scatter and do their own thing as they float down to the ground, which is kind of cool. Um they used to have paper airplane competitions in school. see how far who could threw the who could make their paper airplane go the furthest. And uh some people put a penny in the front of it. I think there were some rules you can add a certain amount of weight to it if you wanted to.

[00:03:50]Can only be one sheet of paper. Um but yeah, they see how far in the back we'd be in the gym on the basketball court seeing how far we could throw these paper airplanes. I did not win at all.

[00:04:01]Uh which is fine. No big deal. I was impressed with the ones that could go far. I was more excited about that.

[00:04:10]But those are the only two that I know how to make. And then after this one, after you fly this one a couple times, the nose gets all crinkled up because it keeps stabbing into the ground.

[00:04:20]Without this guy, this guy's got a little It's tough.

[00:04:30]And it's out in the hallway now.

[00:04:34]I threw my plane away. It's gone.

[00:04:38]Turn it up for 800 jewel. Turn down for what? That's what I say. Um, let's go on to whales out in California, San Francisco Bay area. They're using AI to identify whales in the water so they don't get hit by boats.

[00:04:57]And then there's uh people in boats can turn on their little their little radars and whatnot and get this information fed into them um about different whales by their heat signature.

[00:05:09]So scientists in California using heat sensing AI to save grey whales trans transiting uh through San Francisco Bay.

[00:05:19]More and more sightings of grey whales, mediumsiz whale that can grow 40 to 50 ft long. Um there there are a lot of more of them there been a huge number of them recently I guess right uh conservationists are eager to develop methods more consistently keep them safe from ship strikes one of the largest causes of whale mortality so you're going to have all kinds of ships dodging ducking and bobbing and weaving across the water to dodge these whales sounds like a a huge mess but it's good they're doing something.

[00:05:55]Try to figure out how to save the whales, though, right? Save the whales.

[00:05:58]Hey, make sure they're safe. Yeah, stop hitting them with boats. Yay. Manatees in Florida have that problem uh getting hit by boats and you you'll see them with these propeller scars on their bodies and stuff like that. It's kind of sad.

[00:06:14]Oh, there's Random. Good morning, Random. Sorry, a little late. That's all right. 10 push-ups, my friend.

[00:06:20]Maybe we'll fetch the P. I don't know.

[00:06:21]He's gone. I don't know where he went.

[00:06:24]He's not here trying to jump in my lap or anything.

[00:06:29]Maybe it is a warmer warmer waters for more sightings of these whales.

[00:06:35]But you can they can identify the heat signature while the whales underwater and be like, "Okay, you got a couple over here. Let's look out. Try to, you know, dodge them."

[00:06:47]But um, you know, AI is good for some things. better than making cheesy videos that go on Tik Tok and YouTube, right?

[00:06:54]Um I saw a commercial that used a AI video generator for their Jeep Grand Cherokee. Jeep has decided to do the um talking animal um AI video for their one of their Jeeps and it's kind of cheesy.

[00:07:10]It's it's it's I guess you would call it cringe. I don't know. It's just like, really? You don't have the budget to get, you know, do CGI, but you're going to do AI to generate these cheesy pictures of depictions of animals and cars? I don't know. It It just didn't look right. I know it's a trend and people are doing it all the time on on their own, but uh car companies and commercials, they should steer away from that. Yeah. I I think it makes look makes them look cheap.

[00:07:42]So yeah, Odin would be proud of this beard. Now I can just get be proud of my receding hairline. Then we would have that to worry about.

[00:07:56]Uh today's going to be a nine out of 10 day according to random. He's in the future.

[00:08:01]So he's did some work for them and uh had a good and they were a polite customer as he's done his electrical work for the day.

[00:08:10]Dashing Wombo member for 12 months. Woo!

[00:08:12]One year member. Ray, look at Ray doing the thing. Become a member for a whole year. I need to do more member only videos. Give you guys incentive. Um, no heavy traffic, a lot of rain.

[00:08:25]Speaking of traffic, I want a big FU to the people out there who like to drive in the rain and turn on your hazard lights because it's raining while you're going down a highway. That's not what your hazard lights are for. Actually, it's more distracting than helping you flashing your hazard lights as you're traveling down the highway just because it's a little bit of heavy rain. If it's that heavy and you can't handle it, pull off to the side and sit there, wait for it to be done.

[00:08:50]Don't put on your hazards and slow down to 25 miles per hour, especially when the speed limit is 65 and it's not even raining that hard. It very irritating me last night. I was driving back home and I'm going down. We have the we call it the loop here in Athens. It's basically a bypass. It's a four-lane highway.

[00:09:05]Speed limit 65. I'm cruising along. Rain starts getting heavy. I slow down about 55. I can make it no problem. I can see what I'm doing. I'm almost 50 years old wearing tri focal lenses. I can get across the road no problem. Then you got these idiots turn on their hazard lights and you got those flashing lights. It's reflecting on the rain on my windshield.

[00:09:25]It's not helping at all. It's more hindering than helping. If you're using your hazard lights while you're going down the road because of the rain, you don't deserve to be driving. You're a horrible driver. That's just my opinion.

[00:09:36]Turn off your hazard lights unless you're pulled over, stopped on the side of the road.

[00:09:41]That's my rant. That's my That's my rant. The Aussies turn to morons as soon as it starts raining. They lose their minds and forget how to operate vehicles. Same thing about ICE. You know, they're driving down the road. But man, it was it was like a dozen different cars and then they get in the left lane and the right lane. They won't get over. That bothers me, too. You going to slow down to 30 mph, put on your hazard lights and not get over to the right lane. So all of us who know how to drive are not or are or we're not chicken and we can drive on down the road in the left lane, the passing lane, get out of the way. Move. Get out the way.

[00:10:19]Oh, it was so I don't know. It really rubbed me wrong last night. I WAS JUST LIKE, THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIKE TO GET OUT in public anymore. There's just too many morons out there making life difficult when they don't have to.

[00:10:34]I'm like, please stop. Don't use your hazard lights for that. It's not what they're for.

[00:10:41]It's It's not what the hazard lights are for. It's not for when you're driving on the road because of he heavy rain.

[00:10:47]It's It's just not.

[00:10:50]I should have known better. I shouldn't have been out driving last night anyway.

[00:10:54]I went to the store, which is unlike me.

[00:10:56]Um, no. No. Driving back, it was horrible. It was horrible.

[00:11:03]Just drive down the median. If I had four Well, I have all-wheel drive in the Subaru, but it's not like jacked up and get I don't know. I don't think I'd be driving fast down the median, hitting bumps and stuff. Tear up my car. It could handle it if I was going slower.

[00:11:15]No problem. But, uh, I wanted to I wanted to get home and these people were just blocking the roads.

[00:11:21]We need to use AI for them. Find out their heat signatures so we can dodge them, too.

[00:11:28]They're just a bunch of morons. It it it irks me so much. It really just gets under my skin. Uh my boyfriend goes to the store or whatnot. Well, the last time they went to the store and never came back. It's like they went out to get a pack of cigarettes and never showed back up again. So, it's just me and my dog or my dog and I. Yeah. And normally I order everything and have all my groceries delivered. So, yeah.

[00:11:52]We get your mom to do it. People are trolling, asking stupid questions. It's fine. I don't mind. Um, it wasn't really offensive. He's just trying to be funny in my opinion. But either way, um, yeah, drivers. And who do what do you guys think about people having to retest? If you get to a certain age, uh, or you have so many tickets or whatever, should you have to take a driver's test again?

[00:12:20]So, you have to like call in for a day at work and go to the DMV, wait in line, and uh do the written and physical test all over again to retain your driver's license.

[00:12:32]I mean, that would be retest them. I don't know. Addie says, "No." Um, when you got somebody who's 85 and they're they can barely see over the dashboard and they're cruising down the road, they're more of a hazard than a help in most cases. you know, you get to a certain age and uh your reflexes aren't as good. You know, I hopefully self-driving cars will be like a super mega thing by the time I become 80.

[00:13:02]And I have a lot of stuff delivered anyway. But I don't know if you can It's just certain people and then you got idiots that cut people off or keep running stop signs and always speed and getting all these tickets. You can get your uh driver's license revoked, but if it gets revoked for all these tickets, you should have you should have to retest. I think you should have to retest.

[00:13:26]Look at Uncle Terry. Old people lose their minds. They do. I mean, it's just the fact of life. You get older, your reflexes aren't as good. You can't see as good. Um, you know, everything's moving a lot faster than you're used to.

[00:13:37]It's just not safe. It's not safe. I'm thinking about safety stuff.

[00:13:41]So, yeah. Father was a great driver. Now he sucks. I hope he loses his license soon. He's dangerous. Exactly. You're riding around with grandpa and he's like almost hitting pedestrians and on the sidewalk. You're like, "Dude, give me give me the wheel. I'll drive. Please let me drive." Self-driving cars. Yeah.

[00:14:01]There's um somebody was talking about um they got their grandma a Tesla and all she does gets in it and says, "Go to the store." And it drives her to the store and it drives her back to the apartment.

[00:14:12]She really doesn't have to do anything.

[00:14:13]We just sit there and watch it, which is kind of cool. Kind of cool. It's safer.

[00:14:19]Yeah. I don't know if you've heard I don't I haven't read any stories of of Teslas causing car pileups or hitting pedestrians. And I'm not saying they never have, but I've never heard any stories about it. What do I know?

[00:14:34]Well, if you don't want to drive, get on top of a paper airplane. Fly where you're going today. It's National Paper Airplane Day. Um, that's my 15 minutes.

[00:14:42]I have to go to my real job. Thank you all for joining me this morning, hanging out, chitchatting, shooting the breeze, trying to start our day off on a good note. I went on a little bit of a tangent and a rant and I apologize, but uh, I had to let it out. You gota you got to vent sometimes. But I'll see you guys tomorrow morning. Thanks for watching. Uh, be kind. Have a great day.

[00:15:01]Bye everybody.