Women "BEGGING FOR MEN TO SAVE THEM" | Tired Of Being "STRONG & INDEPENDENT | Women Hitting The Wall

[00:00:00]Just because I can do something does not mean that I want to.

[00:00:03]>> I had to be in my 40s and halfway through cleaning my car before I realized I don't want to be independent.

[00:00:11]>> Why are men so attracted to these like strong independent women that are self-sufficient, that can do things on their own?

[00:00:17]>> When I tell you that I am tired of >> The pattern Western women followed have failed many of them. Now that the independent lifestyle isn't as fulfilling as they thought, many are coming to their senses and realizing doing [music] everything on their own is exhausting.

[00:00:33]>> I believe that I'm a 10. Like looks-wise, I think I'm a 10 out of 10.

[00:00:37]I think I'm drop-dead gorgeous and whenever I go out, I feel so confident, like I'm a 10. But, I'm also aware that most people would probably think I was a seven. I feel like seven or if they had certain addictions, a three, but that doesn't really count.

[00:00:53]Normal people I think would call me a seven. And I think my husband would think I'm like a nine, so almost perfection. But like I genuinely think I'm a 10. Is anyone else like this?

[00:01:02]>> I had to be in my 40s and halfway through cleaning my car before I realized I don't want to be independent.

[00:01:12]I grew up wanting to be independent. I want to be that independent queen that can do everything for herself. I don't want to be independent.

[00:01:19]I don't want to do it. And my husband does a lot of stuff for me. I don't want to wash the car. I don't want to work.

[00:01:26]I want to be a dependent queen.

[00:01:29]I worked my so hard.

[00:01:32]Girls, if you haven't started, don't start. Be a dependent queen. Being independent is overrated.

[00:01:40]>> The reality is starting to set in.

[00:01:42][music] Being an independent queen sounded good until it meant [music] doing everything yourself. Work, bills, car problems, house problems, stress, no one to call, no one to lean on.

[00:01:56]>> [music] >> Now the same independence that was celebrated starts feeling overrated.

[00:02:01]>> [music] >> But men have been living like this the whole time. A man does not [music] get to say, "I do not want to work. I want to be dependent." That [music] is not treated as cute. That is treated as failure.

[00:02:17]So when women realize they do not want the burden, [music] what they are really discovering is how heavy responsibility feels when there is no rescue plan.

[00:02:28]>> [music] >> Independence was fun as an identity.

[00:02:32]It is different when it becomes the full cost of your life.

[00:02:36]>> Hey, okay, asking for a friend. Are there healthy men out there?

[00:02:40]Are there healthy, emotionally available, self-aware men out there uh who are still single in their 30s?

[00:02:48]Um let me know.

[00:02:51]>> Y'all don't want to compete with a man till it's time to be one. Y'all want to be equal to a man till life actually start treating you like one. Bills due, suddenly you want help. But you strong and independent though. Till that car break down, until the rent go up, and or until the world get heavy. Being a man ain't easy or just freedom, it's pressure. And believe me, y'all don't want that. Men nowadays want to be treated like gold while they treat everybody else like [ __ ] They want to be catered to while they can't be bothered to lift a [ __ ] finger.

[00:03:24]They want to be respected when they can't show a [ __ ] single ounce of respect.

[00:03:32]And they act like the whole world owes them something.

[00:03:37]And yet they do nothing to actually get it.

[00:03:41]>> This is the kind of attitude that makes a lot of men stop caring. Everything is framed like men are selfish, lazy, disrespectful, and entitled. But then some women wonder why men are not excited to show up and provide. Why would a man rush toward a woman who already talks about men like [music] they are the problem?

[00:04:04]Respect cannot only move one way.

[00:04:06][music] If a woman wants a man to protect, provide, lead, and help, [music] she cannot also treat men like disposable villains.

[00:04:16]That contradiction is everywhere now.

[00:04:19]Some women want male effort, but they speak about men with open resentment.

[00:04:26]>> [music] >> Then when men pull back, they call it a crisis. No, sometimes men are just tired of being expected to perform for people who do not even like them.

[00:04:37]>> Chivalry is [ __ ] dead. I'm literally running into a government building, like running. It's freezing cold outside and my hands full. I'm wearing a full-length dress and trying to hold it up. And a man literally squeezes through the door, opens it, and doesn't even push it open so that I can get in.

[00:04:54]Like, I'm sorry.

[00:04:57]I'm wearing a ball gown, getting home at 10:00 p.m.

[00:05:01]on my own, and you can't even hold the door for me? Thank God I even made it through the elevator.

[00:05:07]Like, this man I don't like I don't know him. If he knew me he might have hated me. I hope he hated me because there's no other excuse. You hold the door for a woman, no? Literally full. I've >> popcorn and Nibs in a bag.

[00:05:23]A big [ __ ] done with men in this generation, like done.

[00:05:28]>> So, there's a common misconception that strong independent women love being independent.

[00:05:38]Now, as far as me, don't like it.

[00:05:43]Many of us and most of us are independent out of necessity. We had no other choice. Who else was going to do it? Who else was going to take care of the house and the home and the kids?

[00:05:52]So, we had to step up and we had to take care of it.

[00:05:55]But, as far as me, I'm tired.

[00:05:58]I'm done with the strong independent life if I could help it. If I had my choice, I'd love to be taken care of.

[00:06:05]I'd love to be the woman that just stays home and cooks and cleans and takes care of her man.

[00:06:13]Now, the chances are slim that that would ever actually happen at my age and at this day and time.

[00:06:19]But, I love fantasizing about it.

[00:06:24]Yeah.

[00:06:25]I would love to know what it's like to have that soft life.

[00:06:30]So, anybody want to get willing to give it to me?

[00:06:35]>> This is actually the closest [music] they get to admitting the truth.

[00:06:39]She says, "A lot of women are independent [music] because they had no other choice." But, that is exactly how men have lived forever. Men [music] did not choose hyper-independence as a brand. They did not choose it for applause. They became independent [music] because if they did not perform, nobody was coming. No safety net, [music] no soft life, no sympathy. So, when women say they are tired of being strong, men understand the weight.

[00:07:10]>> [music] >> They just notice the double standard.

[00:07:14]Women get to say, "I am tired. I want to be taken care of."

[00:07:19]Men say the same thing and get called losers.

[00:07:23]>> [music] >> That is why this conversation is bigger than independence. It [music] is about who gets empathy when life becomes heavy and who is simply expected to carry [music] it.

[00:07:34]>> People always ask me like, "Oh, Natashka, why did you want to get married young?" I lived alone for the past year in an apartment for the first time and I was like, "I am so lonely." I had friends, I had activities going on, but you come home, you just cook for yourself, you go to bed by yourself, and then you think about all the things that you have to figure out and handle by yourself. And yes, I had my husband, but he was my boyfriend at the time. But why did we convince ourselves that before we get married, we have to have a house, we have to have a stable career, we have to have everything figured out. And my favorite, you have to be 25 because you're not done developing. You could just make marriage your starting point and build with someone alongside you that you love so much, and then you're not overwhelmed >> Can somebody tell me what it feels like to not have to be a hyper-independent woman all the time?

[00:08:17]Because I I can't relate. I just got into my car, and one of my tires is low.

[00:08:23]Mhm, and I don't have anybody to call and be like, "Hey, babe, can you fix my tire? My air is low." No. Mhm.

[00:08:30]I swear to god, if it's not one thing, it's another. It's not a matter if I can't do it. I can do it. I can figure it out. I'm not like, you know, I can figure it out. I have one of those little blow-up things. It's a matter if I don't want to do it. I just want to call babe and be like, "Hey, honey, um yeah, my tire's low. Can you figure it out for me because I don't know what to do."

[00:08:49]But no.

[00:08:50]>> This is the whole contradiction in a small moment. She can handle the tire.

[00:08:55]She can figure it out, [music] but she doesn't want to. And that is the difference between being capable and wanting to carry the burden forever. A lot of women are realizing they did not hate men helping.

[00:09:09]They hated admitting they wanted help.

[00:09:12]But men do not usually have that choice.

[00:09:16]If a man has a problem, he is expected [music] to solve it. If his tire is low, he figures it out. [music] If the bill is due, he figures it out.

[00:09:26]If life gets heavy, he figures it out.

[00:09:30]That is why men hear these complaints differently. Women are calling it hyper-independence.

[00:09:36]Men call it Tuesday. [music] And now that women are feeling the weight, suddenly partnership does not sound oppressive anymore.

[00:09:45]It sounds like relief.

[00:09:47]>> This video is for all of the men on TikTok. So, if you are not a man, swipe away or stay because I'm asking some insider scoop. Men, now that I have your attention, why do you go swimming?

[00:09:58]I'm not attacking you. This is a safe place. I really want to know. Like, why do men go swimming? I'm tired of the girls because we're all so confused. So, we're just looking for one one singular man to tell us what is one reason that you have ghosted a woman. Why did you think that was a better solution than to just communicate, "Hey, I don't like you. Hey, I'm not feeling this. Hey, I'm a loser." Maybe it would make us have a little bit more empathy.

[00:10:30]I doubt it, but maybe. Is it a lack of confidence? Do you feel insecure?

[00:10:35]Because you feel intimidated? Is it cuz you're broke? If you're a man watching this, please comment because we're all just so tired and we just really need answers at this point.

[00:10:43]>> One thing about me is I will never feel guilty expecting a man to provide for me ever again because these are the same men who will tell you to take your clothes off and not feel guilty for it, right? They don't feel guilty. They just expect it. The same men that expect that you will carry their future children for them. They don't feel guilty. They just expect it. The same men who never had to go through a freaking period since the age of 12 and be expected to show up to work, show up to school, and act completely normal. They don't feel guilty. They just expect it and you should too. This is beyond the bare minimum. Do not forget the power of the feminine. The feminine can command anything she desires without lifting a finger. The feminine can walk into rooms that men work their whole lives to walk into with nothing but her physical presence. So, and when you're dating a man, remember, you're giving him all that power and he should be giving you an equal exchange of energy.

[00:11:35]>> Here's the entitlement showing [music] up clearly. She's saying women should feel no guilt expecting a man to provide, >> [music] >> but notice the difference. For men, provision is not some soft lifestyle choice. It is survival.

[00:11:51]>> [music] >> If a man doesn't perform, nobody is coming to save him.

[00:11:56]No one says, "Poor thing, you're tired of being independent." They just call him broke, useless, [music] or undatable.

[00:12:05]That is why this sounds so convenient.

[00:12:08]>> [music] >> Women were told independence was power, but when the pressure gets heavy, now provision becomes the bare minimum again.

[00:12:19]The truth is, [music] a lot of women want the benefits of old-school men without bringing back the old-school accountability.

[00:12:27]They want a man to carry the [music] weight, but still act like he should feel lucky to do it.

[00:12:33]>> I'm not going to lie, being a hard-working woman is always you're going to get, "Oh, I admire your hard work. You're such a hard-working woman.

[00:12:40]You're such a hard-working woman."

[00:12:44]Come hard work this dick in my life.

[00:12:46]Like, I don't even understand. Like, I'm That's not the message I was trying to convey.

[00:12:51]Come hard work that money in my pockets.

[00:12:53]Like, what are we even talking about?

[00:12:56]You're idolizing that I'm such a strong woman that I have to do it all by myself. What happened to [ __ ] social dynamics and gender roles?

[00:13:06]I don't want to be independent. I don't I don't want to do it myself.

[00:13:13]That, "Oh, I knew you would handle it."

[00:13:17][ __ ] Put me up, man. Put me up.

[00:13:22]>> I'm telling you, the more independent you are, the more you can do life on your own, the more you can be a boss ass [ __ ] the more you can just yeah, just do anything on your own, the more lover girl you will be.

[00:13:34]Okay? It's law of polarity.

[00:13:37]I'm telling you this is how it works.

[00:13:38]Like you will think like, "Oh, no, I'm very independent." Like and I'm still like, you know, like I still am. But I'm telling you if you are one thing to the extreme, like I'm a very independent woman, but then when it comes to relationships, like that's it's a different side of me. You know what I'm saying? Like I Like I don't know who the [ __ ] that is.

[00:14:02]I really don't know who the [ __ ] that is. Getting evicted. Story of my [ __ ] life. Whatever, I'm coming on here for advice. I got myself in a predicament again. You know, whenever you're constantly like dealing with Oh, I don't even want to be a part of Earth anymore, that's where I get myself in these positions cuz why pay my rent if I don't want to be a part of life? But I want to be alive today and I need to figure out what the [ __ ] I'm going to do. I'm coming for advice because the amount of money I owe my landlords, I have already earned from my side jobs and they're already in a paycheck and a system somewhere, but I don't have that paycheck.

[00:14:39]>> Look at that.

[00:14:40]>> And yeah, I'm asking you all what the [ __ ] can I do about that because the apps where you can get paid early, it seems you can only get paid 2 days early.

[00:14:49]And I need paid 2 weeks early. Does anybody know of any systems, of any programs, of anything where you can get your money that you already earned early so that you're not homeless?

[00:15:02]>> This is where reality hits.

[00:15:05]When bills are due, life does not care about empowerment slogans. Rent does not care that you are tired. The landlord does not care that you are overwhelmed.

[00:15:16]And this is the world men have always lived in. If a man cannot pay, [music] cannot perform, cannot figure it out, nobody rushes in to rescue him. He is just expected to handle it.

[00:15:30]So, when women talk about being tired of independence, this is the part they are starting to feel.

[00:15:37]Independence is not cute when survival is attached to it. It is pressure.

[00:15:43]And men have carried that pressure for generations without being allowed to cry about it. That is why the rescue plan angle matters.

[00:15:52]A lot of women are not really tired of independence as an idea.

[00:15:56]>> [music] >> They're tired of independence once it starts demanding results.

[00:16:04]>> [music]