What's it like to be an only child?

追加: 2026-06-02

[00:00:00]Mom and dad only had me to care about, and my dog.

[00:00:03]>> You know, around four or five I was definitely a little bossy diva. I wanted things to be done my way.

[00:00:09]>> The stereotype that I always really come across was, "Oh, an only child's a lonely child."

[00:00:14]>> My parents were reproductively challenged. It took 10 [music] years just to get me, so I was basically the golden child.

[00:00:20]>> I'll get the old like, "Oh, I could tell." I'm like, "Haha."

[00:00:25]>> There's sort of two reactions. Oh, it must have been lonely, or oh, I would have given anything to be an only child.

[00:00:32][music] I wouldn't have had to share.

[00:00:34]>> Being an only child, I'm quite used to more me time.

[00:00:42]>> Growing up an only child meant I was around a lot of adults a lot of the time.

[00:00:46]>> I think I've got a really um good way of speaking to adults, uh regardless of their age. I think you learn that skill cuz you're you're independent. And independence is a is a big one.

[00:00:55]>> I was very good at old school music knowledge when I was very young, and I would win those quizzes very easily against other adults. It kind of made me the mom of the group. I remember going to school years, and I was the mom of the group for the week. That was my nickname. So >> [laughter] >> When you're an only child, you are growing up around adults that you do uh mature faster.

[00:01:14]>> I do remember now talking to you, my primary school principal giving feedback to my mom saying, "Wow, sometimes we forget we're even talking to a a kid, you know?"

[00:01:21]>> In terms of the not sharing thing, I think that's a little bit of a myth. I mean, when I was a kid, I definitely didn't like sharing. I'd be like, "No, this is my toy. You can get your own."

[00:01:33]>> [laughter] >> But today, I would consider myself very generous. I love to share. I'm always giving away my makeup and my skin care and my clothes.

[00:01:41]>> Uh I learned how to share cuz I was surrounded by, you know, friends and also cousins, extended extended family as well, so I think I kind of learned that skill as well.

[00:01:50]>> I got pretty good at sharing, although I do remember one birthday party when we were playing pa- pass the parcel, and I didn't get any prizes, and I didn't think that was fair.

[00:02:01]>> [laughter] >> I think the stereotypes of only children not sharing and things like that can be true. I did find it hard when I got to school to have to share because I didn't have to ever share anything with my siblings. It was just me. I got everything, so I wanted everything to be about me. I did, and without realizing as an only child, you can be very everything's about me, and sharing can be really hard.

[00:02:27]>> I remember a moment where I suddenly had this realization that when that siblings have to share their parents' love. And that I remember that stuck stuck with me cuz it weirded me out so much. Like, "What do you mean they don't get all of their parents' love?" Moments like that definitely reaffirmed to me that I was really happy being an only child.

[00:02:46]>> times where I got a little bit lonely in the sense that I want to go kick a footy, or I want to go to the park, I want to go for a walk, and I kind of do that by myself. You know, for me at times, I was definitely bored. Every kid goes through boredom, and you just resort back, you know, to your environment, your resilience, and your imagination as a young person. So, I spent a lot of times rocking out on the trampoline, imagining things, playing hoops by myself, and imagining, you know, being in the game. I spent a lot of time, I think, in my imagination, but I was outdoors. I was active. I was doing things.

[00:03:15]>> You must be lonely. Do you wish you had a sibling? I tend to hear that comment quite a bit, but I'm just like, have you ever heard of friends?

[00:03:23]>> [laughter] >> I'm never really that alone, but there are times where when you're actually living in the same house as someone who's a bit closer to you in age, you see them go through, you know, different periods of life, and my parents weren't going to be the first port of call to be like, "Hey, what do I do in this situation with like a boy or something like that?" And so, it's something where I could see my friends going to their siblings to do those things and ask those questions. I didn't quite have that.

[00:03:48]>> I was very good at coloring in. If I had a coloring book and coloring pencils, my parents could take me anywhere.

[00:03:55]>> You really do find you do spend a lot of time alone, so that is a big drawback, but you do find ways to become very creative and imaginative as an only child. You know, playing with the neighbors kids or cousins coming over, extended family, and integrating into my friends families as well.

[00:04:11]>> People just assuming that, oh, you must be spoiled.

[00:04:16]Like it's a bad thing. Like >> [laughter] >> No, I'm not spoiled in that I'm entitled, but my mom gives me what she can because she's worked hard for where she is in life, and that's Isn't that the point of being a parent?

[00:04:32]Is it you give everything to your children?

[00:04:35]>> I mean, you can be one of 16 and be be spoiled and carry on and have a bad attitude. It all comes down to parenting and how you've been raised and how you've been brought up to look at the world and uh how to treat others and how you'd like to be treated.

[00:04:48]>> Look, a lot of only children are fairly spoiled because all the focus is on them, but my parents were very, very particular about that not happening. I always had cousins or friends around.

[00:05:02]>> There are other stereotypes there of, you know, of being spoiled, and you do get, you know, certain privileges, and we got We were able to do a lot more as a family, I think, um than if there were more of me, but I like things to be done a certain way, which is my way.

[00:05:17]>> [laughter] >> But you you learn when it's like like when it's needed and when it's not.

[00:05:20]>> As an adult now, um having to navigate like difficult family dynamics, that can be quite difficult, um because I am just on my own. When my mom does age, that you know, it'll just be me navigating that, but I wouldn't feel alone because I still have other connections. I have my husband, who's a great support to me. I I have, you know, my sister-in-law, my brother-in-law. I have other family members that help me navigate these kinds of challenges.

[00:05:52]>> Um yeah, I often think about my parents aging and caring for them as well.

[00:05:57]Normally when you have siblings, you know, part of that caring as they get older would would kind of be split or wouldn't feel as heavy on the one individual person.

[00:06:07]So I often think about that and I often think about yeah, it's it's sad and in that sense, but also it's part of life.

[00:06:15]>> As my parents aged, it was hard being an only child because there was no one else you could call on to help out to take them to doctor's appointments and look after them and make sure everything was running fine. I was lucky I had a great husband and three great sons who loved their grandparents, but it wasn't quite the same. Losing my parents was very very difficult because for a very long time they were my world.

[00:06:46]>> It's all on you to help out. So it would be amazing now to have a sibling that I could talk things through with. It's hard when you have family things that you need to sort out when it's just all on you to make the call, make the decisions.

[00:07:02]>> I had no intentions of only having one child.

[00:07:07]I wanted more than one child. I think now that my parents have passed, that it's a different world to just be me. So it's lovely having my kids and my grandkids and I think these days a lot of career women particularly are postponing having children and then a lot of them are choosing to only have one.

[00:07:33]So I feel like it's a growing idea that one child is enough and they just want to have one child to focus on.

[00:07:44]Took a long time for me just to get my daughter and unfortunately I haven't been able to have another child and I would have loved more than anything to have another child but as well my age now it's yeah not really possible unfortunately which I you know I do feel for her because I know what it was like growing up an only child and I really wish she had siblings and my husband had siblings and he would have loved another child for her as well but unfortunately yeah it just wasn't meant to be.

[00:08:12]>> Not having a big busy loud family environment. Yeah I think that probably has played a small part in my decision not to have children. It's normalized smaller families to me is having grown up in one.

[00:08:28]>> For people out there that you know are scared or worried because of finances and cost of living and petrol prices honestly you will not regret it. Go and co-create bring life into this world. It's the biggest blessing.

[00:08:40]>> I mean I loved being an only child. I think my life would be quite different and I think I'd be quite a different person if I did have siblings. I've also seen siblings fight physically.

[00:08:51]>> [laughter] >> So so there are parts where I'm like okay maybe I'm I'm good with where I'm at so