They kept crossing the line. Avery built a door.

[00:00:00]They kept crossing [music] the line.

[00:00:02]Avery finally built a door.

[00:00:04]We need to talk about your family.

[00:00:07]What now? Your mother walks in like this house is an extension of hers.

[00:00:11]Your brother acts like rules are for other people. The comments, the opinions, the showing up, the entitlement. I'm done pretending it's small.

[00:00:19]They're just comfortable. They're too comfortable. You always make it sound worse than it is. Because you keep making it sound lighter than it is.

[00:00:28]It's my family.

[00:00:30]And this is our home. That should something before they walk through that door, not after. What did you want me to do?

[00:00:38]Something.

[00:00:39]Tell your mother to stop opening cabinets like she pays bills here.

[00:00:43]Tell your brother to stop showing up, taking food, jewelry, and whatever else he wants without asking, then acting normal. Tell both of them this house has boundaries. You're being harsh. I'm being late. They don't mean anything by it. That excuse has kept weak boundaries alive in too many homes. So now I'm supposed to check my family every time they come over? You're supposed to act like marriage changed the front door.

[00:01:06]Call before coming, knock before entering, respect what's not yours.

[00:01:10]Stay out of our decisions. That is not control. It's adulthood. You're making me choose between you and my family. I'm asking you to choose whether this house has standards. I think you're overreacting. That's the problem. I bring you a boundary, you hand me a label.

[00:01:23]>> I'll talk to them. Not vaguely, clearly.

[00:01:28]Why is he wearing shoes on the couch?

[00:01:31]Relax, it's leather. It's mine. Oh, please, Avery. Don't start. We're family. That word gets used a lot right before entitlement walks in. Can we not do this today? I didn't start it today.

[00:01:42]I walked into it. You always make people feel unwelcome. I make people feel the boundary they ignored. It's not that serious.

[00:01:50]Then get your shoes off my couch.

[00:01:53]I was just trying to find the good plates.

[00:01:56]In a house that isn't yours.

[00:01:59]Six months ago I told you this was a problem. Six months ago I told you your family had gotten too comfortable in this house.

[00:02:06]Six months ago I asked you to do something. You did nothing. Your mother shows up without calling, your brother takes food, jewelry, whatever he wants, leaves a mess, and talks to me like we grew up under the same roof.

[00:02:19]They go through drawers, open cabinets, comment on our money, our marriage, our decisions, and when I react, suddenly I'm the problem. Because you are rude.

[00:02:29]Rude is entering people's home like ownership transferred through blood.

[00:02:34]They're my family.

[00:02:36]And this is our home. Ever since you married her, everything is rules. Before me, maybe people walked in and did whatever they wanted. That arrangement has ended.

[00:02:46]What are you going to do? Ban family?

[00:02:48]I'm going to ban entitlement. You're making this bigger than it is. That's what people say when they benefit from weak boundaries.

[00:02:56]I raised her. I don't need permission to see my daughter.

[00:02:59]You don't need permission to love your daughter. You do need manners to enter my home.

[00:03:04]Your home?

[00:03:06]Did your loyalty stop before the rest of the sentence?

[00:03:09]Don't do that.

[00:03:10]Don't do this. Every time they cross a line, you call it personality.

[00:03:14]Every time I respond, you call it attitude. It's just family being family.

[00:03:18]It's people confusing access with authority. You go through my kitchen, comment on what I spend, tell Talia what she should put up with. He walks in without knocking, takes what he wants, leaves a mess, and moves through this house like ownership comes from your last name. It does not.

[00:03:33]You got something to say to me?

[00:03:35]I've been saying it.

[00:03:37]You just come from a house where nobody taught boundary. Avery, stop. Why?

[00:03:42]Because now everyone's uncomfortable?

[00:03:44]Good. Entitlement was comfortable for too long. I knew you were controlling.

[00:03:49]Control is what people call a boundary when they can no longer ignore it.

[00:03:53]They were just trying to be close. Then closeness should have shown up with manners.

[00:03:58]This is the real issue. Not your mother, not your brother, you. Strangers can cross the line once.

[00:04:05]After that, whoever keeps letting them in is helping.

[00:04:09]They're not strangers.

[00:04:11]Then all the more reason you should have taught them how to enter your marriage correctly. You don't talk to my daughter like that.

[00:04:18]Then teach your son not to put his feet on my No more opinions on our money, our marriage, or how this house runs. No more entering rooms, cabinets, drawers, or conversations nobody invited you into. And if we do? Then you'll find out the door works both ways.

[00:04:34]You can't be serious. I should have become serious 6 months ago. Leave the key.

[00:04:39]>> You would really do this? I'm really doing it. You're embarrassing me. I'm ending a pattern you kept dressing up as love.

[00:04:48]This house is weird. Good. Let it stay weird enough that boundaries survive here.

[00:04:54]So that's it? You shut my family out?

[00:04:57]I shut entitlement out. If your family wants a way back in, they can knock like everybody else.