BE THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY

Added: 2026-05-28

[00:00:00]be the one that got away.

[00:00:04]Think about that for a minute. So, if you've been paying attention to recent videos, you will realize that yeah, the idea, the goal, the purpose, the objective, the task, what you must accomplish, what you must achieve is going no contact. You see, that person you're considering, they knew what they had done to you, just like they had done to it to so many people before they met you. And that person took you for granted. What they did is they placed you in the trauma bond. They placed you in the narcissistic fog. They also placed you in the devaluation stage. All three of those are interchangeable yet unique to one experience which is toxicity. And it's narcissism. You are becoming awakened and aware. You're becoming educated. You're becoming empowered. And you're realizing that not only now or tonight or tomorrow, but subsequent days for the rest of your life, they won't include toxicity. Once you go no contact, you will realize that that is one of the key objectives that you must accomplish. Now, it won't be easy. It will be anything but. But once you get accustomed to it, once you get used to it, and that parasite has been removed from your life and that 800 lb gorilla has been exercised off of your shoulders, then you will feel a lot lighter. Now, take a good look behind me here. No, this isn't a green screen.

[00:01:23]Yes, it is green. And no, there's no script. Yes, I am here in the Carolina woods. All these things I'm mentioning to you equal the healing path. And take a look at the abundance behind me. Take a look at the abundance all around me.

[00:01:36]This is where you too one day will find yourself once you become the one that got away. Now whether you were discarded or whether you ended it yourself, any way you look at it, the relationship ended when it was supposed to end and when it ended. You cannot change that.

[00:01:53]You can't change the past. You cannot predict the future accurately. That's why you need to live in the present moment. Remember, the narcissist exists for the moment. You live in the present moment. And the narcissist will do whatever they need to do with any fuel source that provides the next opportunity for them. Once they get whatever they want from said person, they'll look elsewhere on and on and on.

[00:02:19]Which is why the narcissist is loyal to nobody. It's why they care about nobody.

[00:02:22]It's why they take people for granted.

[00:02:24]And it's why you are different than most people that the narcissist had ever encountered because you are the one that got away. Now, you may be saying to yourself right now, well, yeah, I want to be the one that got away, but I didn't get away yet. That is fine.

[00:02:40]That's exactly where I was for a period of time. Until when? You got it. Until I wasn't. Once you get this wisdom and once you apply the tools and you realize that not everything is how it appears to be on this planet called Earth and that certainly not everybody is who they claim to be. There are many different types of narcissists out there. There is the cerebral narcissist. There is the somatic narcissist. There is the communal narcissist which I'm hearing more and more and more and yes more about recently. You see, even the communal narcissist can't hide any longer. You may think, well, wait, what is the communal narcissist? Well, in layman's terms, the communal narcissist is a person that memorized scripture or memorized whatever religious toms that you were a participant in. Example, whatever religious group you grew up in or whatever part whatever religious group you're a part of right now or perhaps you were. If the narcissist could use that rhetoric or use those words or the scriptures or the Bible or the Torah or the Quran or whatever it is against you, then guess what? Their hands are clean and they can say, "Look, this is what the Bible says. Look, this is what the religious scripture says.

[00:03:52]This is how these people hide behind anything that matters, mainly anything that mattered past tense to you." Now, I could jump on the whole communal narcissistic train all day long if I want to. And maybe in the future I will create more content exclusive to that.

[00:04:08]You need to understand that not every single person on the planet has your best interest at heart. And yes, it includes the somatic, the cerebral, cerebral, the uh communal, the vulnerable, the na not naive, all the different kinds of narcissists. And truth be told, there are thousands of different types of narcissists. There probably are more like a hundred thousand different types. More and more are being discovered, created, and more terms are being coined every single day in this category. Why? Because we are breaking new ground. Why? Because you're becoming educated and empowered. Why?

[00:04:44]Because you are craving answers to the questions that you have had that the raging narcissist would never give you.

[00:04:50]Also, because I've been through the cycle. I'm out. I've healed. I am 99.999 to infinium% healed. Anyone that tells you they're 100% healed, not going to happen because there will still be memories in your mind of experiences that took place. Pause. Side note, pro tip. If anybody you're talking to or anybody who claims that they're healed, if they're telling you that they're 100%, I would really, really be skeptical about that. I was in the cycle. I documented my journey five months and two days after the discard. I don't know of one other person that did that. I don't know of one other person that's strong enough to do it. Guess what? You're looking at the guy. Yes, me. Now, this video isn't about me. It's to illustrate that what at one point I was where you are or where you were. I am no longer where you were or where I was. I am now at the pinnacle of indifference. You now know what that means. You also now know that I am the one that got away. You're also realizing that you are about to be, if you're not yet, the one that got away. The one that got away is who you want to be. The person you don't want to be is the new supply. Remember, postnarcissistic relationship. Take yourself back in time. You were in the trauma bond. Most likely, you were definitely being devalued. You were loyal to the abuser.

[00:06:10]You didn't know what narcissism was. You probably were experiencing FOMO way back then. You were tethered to them. And you could not figure out what had happened to your life. Now you understand a lot.

[00:06:21]Now you know what gaslighting is. You now know what the silent treatment is.

[00:06:24]You now know what a rage fit is. You now know what narcissism is. You now know what mindset, energy, empathy, trajectory, purpose, ascension, elevation, abundance, authenticity. Yes, I could go on for another 15 hours if you want me to. The whole message for this video is once you are out, you need to stay out. When you get out, you need to look at it as if you have no more access to said person. Now again, there may be moving parts. Maybe you have kids. Maybe you're separating funds or trying to sell a house, whatever. I get the whole thing. But once you get out, you need to stay out. Not only do you need to stay out, but you need to use your newfound superpower, which is discernment. Now, before I just mentioned that word discernment, you probably never even heard that word, or maybe you didn't even use it. I can assure you one thing. You probably didn't even know what it meant. Guilty as charged here until six years ago.

[00:07:16]Now, I have mastered discernment. I've mastered my energy. I stay in the high vibrational state. I go with the energy.

[00:07:22]I don't fight it. I don't go against it.

[00:07:25]I don't force things. I don't push things. I don't rush things. I'm very patient. I am very stoic. I'm very centered. I am calm. I am in my own high vibrational state. Listen to this peace and quiet right now.

[00:07:43]That is called living.

[00:07:46]That is called abundance.

[00:07:49]That is called authenticity.

[00:07:52]Notice how calm and quiet it is here.

[00:07:56]Think about where you were before I just paused that video right now. Where were you? You were thinking about what was going on and the narcissist abusing you and trying to figure out what the next things were going to uh I was going to say, etc. I took a quick moment there and paused. Why? Because this is abundance. This is beautiful. This is where the narcissist can never arrive at. This is where the narcissist didn't want you to ever arrive at. This is uncharted territory for the narcissist.

[00:08:25]They could never get here and never going to happen in a thousand years. And you may say, "Well, what are you talking about? The narcissist or whoever you're considering. Yeah, they could walk up and they could be in the greenery right there behind you." You know what? Truth of the matter is, yeah, they could be.

[00:08:37]But guess what? They're not. Why?

[00:08:38]Because they're on their smartphones blowing up people's lives because they're lying. They're cheating. They're stealing. They're plotting. They're planning. They're discarding. They're hoarding. See what I'm saying here? When you're out, you need to stay out. And you need to remember when you're the one that got away, you're completely different than most people. Most people that had encountered the narcissist or narcissists plural before you cracked the code. They would stay stuck and frozen. Picture an ice cube, if you will, or picture a snow globe. Either one would be perfect for this example.

[00:09:12]When you see an ice cube, whatever's in mi in the middle of it, usually it's just air and water. Well, it's frozen.

[00:09:18]What does it have to do? It's got to thaw out at room temperature. That's what happens. Snow globe. What do you do there? You pick it up, you shake it around, and you just look at all of the glowing glitter, whatever it is floating around in that calm, safe environment.

[00:09:33]The snow globe, I'll jump on first. That is a place where you were trapped. It was a snow globe of abuse. You saw no way out. And anytime the narcissist wanted to pick up you who was trapped in that snow globe, they would shake it up, disrupt your energy, steal your time, misdirect your purpose, and then blame you for doing it. Now, let's go back to the ice cube. You were frozen in an ice cube also. What happened? Well, you would you were going to stay frozen. It would be dry ice, if you will. And that took a long time to thaw out. The only way the only way that would thaw out is once you were free from the narcissist.

[00:10:10]And that's when you began to focus on yourself and heal and heal properly.

[00:10:13]Snow globe. You may still be in your own snow globe right now, but the narcissist doesn't have access. See, they can't pick it up. They can't shake it up. They can't misdirect your energy. They can't misinterpret your words on purpose. They can't misdirect you. They can't lie, steal, cheat. It doesn't matter any longer. Why? You got it? Because you're the one that got away. Understand many many things for this part of the video.

[00:10:36]This is your life. This is not a documentary. This is your life. It's not a movie. This is your life. It's not meant to be abused, manipulated, or uh misdirected. You didn't know any of these things because you were loyal. You were committed. You were giving to a fault, maybe a people pleaser, and more and more you definitely wore your heart on a sleeve. And you didn't know narcissism existed. Now that you do, you need to get as far away from said person as fast as you can. And you need to understand that said person, it will never change. In a thousand years, they can't change. Not only can't they, but they don't want to. You may say, "Well, no, they kind of do want to. They told me before that they wish they could change, but they can't." You know what I would call that? Part one could be a little act of a little confession. That may be a sliver of the truth. But part two is that could be bait trying to suck you in and draw you in so you feel sorry for them so you stay tethered to them longer. And guess what? My money is on number two. See, anything, any way you look at it, the narcissist knows what they're doing. They breathe the same air as you. They put on the same clothes as you. They drive the same cars, and they have access to the same information. The difference between you and the narcissist, and there are billions of differences, but the main difference for this part of the video is that they don't share anything with you other than their poor behavior, their toxicity, their lies, and their manipulation. Your job when you were in that relationship was to put out those fires that they were starting intentionally. flip it.

[00:11:59]What were you doing? You were sharing everything you possibly could. Let's say you got a pay raise or a promotion. You couldn't wait to tell the narcissist fast enough. Let's say that you were you got um you inherited some money or you some something good happened. You couldn't wait to tell the narcissist.

[00:12:15]What did they do when you experienced something good? They shrugged their shoulders or said just wait a minute.

[00:12:21]Wait, I've I'm boiling an egg. I'll get back to you in 40 minutes. Or they said, wait, got to take a phone call. or I've got to go clean out the lint uh drawer in the uh washer, the dryer machine, whatever it is. Or, you know, it's been a long time since I cleaned the pantry.

[00:12:35]I think I'll do that. They would do anything but listen to you. But yet, when you were being neglected because you wanted to share your pleasant or good experience and they didn't pay attention to you, the next day, what would happen? They would say, "Hey, that's great. You got the money. Where is it? I need to get a new facelift. I need to get a new Brazilian buttlft. I need to get a new tummy tuck. I need to get new whatever to puff up my lips or get uh extensions. I don't know what it is. And it doesn't have to be uh anything with a physical uh be physical um characteristics of a person. Maybe the narcissist you're considering, they wanted you to buy them uh presents or things on Amazon. Maybe with the money you got, whatever it was, they wanted to blow it on a trip around the world. I don't know what it was. What I do know is they try to take the best of you and give you absolutely nothing in return.

[00:13:22]And that is why you are the one that got away. When you're the one that gets away, you need to leave this person that you're considering in the rear view mirror. You need to not feel sorry for them. You need to know that they won't change. They can't change and they don't want to change no matter what they told you or what what anybody tells you. And you also need to really be authentic and honest with yourself and get take out that that pen and paper. And I've shared this for years. I'll say it again. Get out your sheet of paper with a pen and write down the pro and the con list of the relationship that you were a part of. What were the benefits? What were the good parts? Whatever they were, if there were any. What were the negatives, the cons? You may need a couple more sheets of paper or maybe a whole bunch of notepads for the con list, but you'll figure it out. Any way you look at it, you need to understand a couple things here. One, what is the trauma bond? It's where you were. Two, what is narcissism?

[00:14:18]It's where you were. Three, what is somebody devaluing, disrespecting, dishonoring, and taking someone for granted called? It's called abuse. Abu S, abuse. And that's what the narcissist is good at. They don't care about anybody other than themselves. They never have and they never will. So, when you wrap your head around the fact that you are the one that got away, and that maybe for this part of the video, let's say you have cut the four ties, the emotional, the financial, the physical, and the spiritual. If you've cut those ties, you've done a remarkable thing.

[00:14:50]You've done what most people strive to do. And that is one hell of an accomplishment. So, if you've done that, maintain your boundaries. If you haven't gone no contact yet, you need to ask yourself a question. What are you waiting for? Maybe tonight's the the night you go no contact. Maybe it's tomorrow. But anyway, if you're still allowing access from said person to you, it will never ever improve. It will only get worse and worse and worse. And guess who's gonna pay a price for engaging with said person? Yes, the narcissist.

[00:15:22]You will. Just like I did. That's why once you see toxicity, you need to get as far away from it as fast as you can.

[00:15:30]And unfortunately for all of us healthy, loving, stable, empathetic, kind, beautiful souls on the planet.

[00:15:37]Specifically, those of us who were in the narcissistic abusive cycle and who are out and who are healing or who or who have healed, we have this newfound superpower, the wisdom, that is discernment. That is your spider senses.

[00:15:50]Going back to the Spider-Man example or an analogy, you can't turn that off if you wanted to. It's impossible. Once you see it, you can't unsee it. Once you experience it, you can't unexperience it. And once you hear it, you can't unhear it. That's why you need to take this very seriously and you need to become the one that got away. I will share this and I'm closing the video one more time. If you are still caught up and you're in a vulnerable position, you need to remember a couple things. I was where you are. I am out. I am rock solidly healed. I am stronger every single day than the day before. I believe in you more than you will ever know. I believe in myself more and more every single second I'm on this planet.

[00:16:36]The more I believe in myself, the more I believe in you. You need to believe in yourself the way I believe in you. You need to play this video and play it over and over and over again and realize I am the one that got away. You can be too.

[00:16:49]If you're not yet, you will be. Close the chapter of the book on the narcissist. Don't think they can change.

[00:16:56]Don't think they loved you. Don't think they care about you. know one thing.

[00:17:01]They're abusers. They're manipulators.

[00:17:03]They're con artists. They're grifters.

[00:17:06]They are snake oil salespeople. And they are Ponzi scheme people. If I didn't say that. Anyway, you cut it. The narcissist is the polar opposite of you. They had the best thing they will ever have in you and they tried to destroy you and your life. Guess what? They failed and they know it. Which is why you are the one that got away and never looked back.

[00:17:28]So everyone, that's the video. I hope you liked it. I loved doing it from the beautiful Carolas. This is Andrew.

[00:17:34]Namaste.

[00:17:35]Have a great afternoon, evening, or morning. No matter where you are on the planet, you are not alone. I love you all, and I'll talk with you tomorrow. A few things. One, technically, wherever you are on the planet is exactly where you're supposed to be. Why I said technically, it's because I caught myself. I was going to say something different, which I'll share with you in a second. If you are not where you want to be, there's work to be done. If you are where you want to be, you need to embrace that, which means be be grateful. Know that you've been to hell and back. You're out and now you can experience and enjoy the rest of your life toxic relationship free. And the reason I said technically is because what I was going to share is this. Many times people want to speed up the healing path. They do want the magic wand to be waved. They do want the pill to be consumed and they want this over with. I understand if there was a pill, believe me, I would know about it. If there was a magic wand, believe me, I would know about it. These things don't exist. So, if you are where you don't want to be right now, you need to focus on yourself. That's why I said technically whole point is you need to realize that the journey is in front of you. This is a marathon. It's not a sprint. The narcissist doesn't care about you or anybody, which is why you are becoming, if you haven't already, the one that got away. I love you all.

[00:18:59]I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye, everybody. Bye.