Dancing to Death in 1518 | History Hyenas

Added: 2026-05-09

[00:00:00]Guys, welcome to another episode of HistoryHenas. As always, go to youtube.com/historyhyenas.

[00:00:04]Like and subscribe to the party and patreon.com/historyhyenas for all the adfree episodes and bonus content. We got a great episode for you today about the dancing plague of 1519.

[00:00:15]Ooh, it's 1518 and there was it's just a crazy story. You're going to love it.

[00:00:19]Catch me in Atlantic City, June 26th and 27th. East Hampton, New York, July 8th.

[00:00:24]New Brunswick, New Jersey, July 17th or 18th. And Philly, August 14th and 15th.

[00:00:29]in Austin. Uh, August 21st, 23rd.

[00:00:32]Tickets at yannispapperscomdyd.com.

[00:00:34]We love you guys. Enjoy this app.

[00:00:36]>> Enjoy the app. And every Thursday I will be at New York Comedy Club uh doing shows at 6:00 and 8:30 working on new material. And then go to christycomdyd.com. I got some new dates up there. Uh, we need to just come support your boy. I need a new roof.

[00:00:58]Huh.

[00:01:02]Huh. Huh. Huh.

[00:01:20]You did something to the cameras. You You did a Lebanese. You sabotaged it.

[00:01:25]>> You did some sort of Lebanese trick.

[00:01:26]>> Yeah, you did a Lebanese trick.

[00:01:28]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:01:29]>> Um >> Yeah.

[00:01:30]>> Um >> tell us again how you your family was living side by side in peace >> with the local Arab population and there was no problems and they just everyone paid the peaceful Giza and everything was okay. My family was just like, you know what, we live side by side.

[00:01:51]Once in a while they do a derf schwermer sweep and come and take my brother my who was my great great great grand uncle and he became a janisary which was an elite Muslim force he was brainwashed into Islam and then he came back and he collected the tax from his own parents and didn't recognize him but other than that we lived side by side it was all great tell us about how it was all great again and then we bought a deli and it's called Brooklyn Heights Deli.

[00:02:16]>> Yeah. Is it still for sale? Your dad's been trying to sell.

[00:02:19]>> Everybody wants to buy Brooklyn. I'd like to retire my father. He's complaining a lot.

[00:02:25]>> He was trying to sell that thing in like 2022.

[00:02:27]>> Yeah.

[00:02:28]>> Oh, >> still.

[00:02:29]>> Still. Is it a good deli? What's the best sandwich at Brooklyn Heights Deli?

[00:02:32]>> It's called the Monica Lewinsky. I swear to God. I swear to God.

[00:02:35]>> What is it?

[00:02:36]>> Yeah. It just has come on.

[00:02:41]>> The Lebanese just are good at food. I think as far as good food as far as Arab food, I think the Lebanese do it the best. Now Pat's wearing a Paul O'Neal jersey, old school New York Yankees player. And Paul O'Neal always stands out to me because I remember one time I was watching the Yankee game. It was just on and it was just me and my mom and I saw my mom was watching the game.

[00:02:59]I was like, "Oh, my mom's getting into baseball." And she was just looking at Paul O'Neal. And she goes and she went, "That man has some gorgeous legs." And I said, "Oh shit." And that was the first time I ever heard my the one and only time I ever heard my mother. There was two guys that I think she wanted to crack open. And that was Paul O'Neal.

[00:03:14]And do you remember the old Phoenix Suns coach Paul Westfall? Yes.

[00:03:18]>> Yeah. She wanted to crack him big. Nice and tall drink of water. Pull up Pull up a picture of Paul Westfall because my mom wanted These are the types of guys Lynn likes. You know what the funny thing is about both those guys? They both look like your dad if he wasn't crosseyed. Yeah.

[00:03:30]>> So that's she just wanted a better looking version of your dad.

[00:03:33]>> If my dad wasn't didn't have a long if my dad didn't have a lazy eye, a big nose, and wasn't too short and too fat.

[00:03:39]This is the exact they would look like Paul Westfall and Yeah. YEAH. I MEAN, IT'S ACTUALLY ACTUALLY I'M not that far off cuz I'm not that your your wife your mom has a type and your dad when he was younger fulfilled that type. Yeah.

[00:03:53]>> And she's just looking for another version of your dad who took a different route.

[00:03:58]>> Yeah. Now pull up pole pull.

[00:03:59]>> It looks like you cuz it looks like you and your dad.

[00:04:02]>> Yeah. It's just what it is. Now pull UP >> CUZ YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR DAD IF HE TOOK A DIFFERENT ROUTE.

[00:04:05]>> IT'S JUST WHAT IT IS, RIGHT? YEAH. You as you said, my mom just prayed me handsome. That's all.

[00:04:09]>> SAME THING WITH PAUL O'NEAL. I MEAN, SAY THOSE two guys definitely look like handsomemer versions of you. My dad.

[00:04:15]Yeah. And now pull up Anthony Dano.

[00:04:17]That's the next one. Pull up Anthony.

[00:04:19]Anthony Anthony. And then D I S T E F A N O. Pull up that. And let's see. Let's see if does he pop up. Put in Anthony Dphano. Chris Dano. Put in that. Yeah.

[00:04:29]Chris Dano. Tampa Tony. Put in Yeah.

[00:04:32]Dis. Put in Tampa Tony. And let's see if that pops up. Tampa Tony. And let's see WHAT POPS UP. YEAH. YEAH. NO. GO DOWN.

[00:04:40]GO BACK UP. GO BACK UP. GO BACK. GO BACK. GO BACK. Cuz there was just a real YEAH, THAT LOOK AT THE GUY. LOOK AT LOOK. YEAH. GO TO THAT ONE.

[00:04:48]>> YEAH. I MEAN, THAT'S JUST what happened cuz >> Cuz it's just what sometimes it's just what it is, >> right?

[00:04:56]>> But you know what the thing about Barney Rubble Tampa? You know what the thing is about him? What >> is when that kid was 21, he was a smooth talker and the future was his oyster.

[00:05:07]>> Yeah. It's just And then he PUT A COUPLE DOLLARS ON IT AND IT JUST WENT IN another direction.

[00:05:12]>> Yeah. And that guy with the glasses, if you third row down, is a switched off man right there. That man is switched off. Totally switched off. Switched off.

[00:05:20]Have you ever seen me? Have you ever caught me switched off?

[00:05:23]>> No. Cuz this is what happened when I wasn't in your life. You got switched off. You were switched off. Holy [ __ ] >> It was I was a little disconnect. It's It's a little freaky, right?

[00:05:31]>> Yeah. It's a little like, wow, that's like a little this person has done something to the people in the neighborhood.

[00:05:37]>> Yeah.

[00:05:38]>> Wow.

[00:05:39]>> That is a guy who's completely switched off.

[00:05:41]>> Yeah. I'm not I wasn't there.

[00:05:42]>> Yeah. You were out and about.

[00:05:44]>> You were out and about >> because you were off the beam.

[00:05:47]>> Out and about was the gay podcast on Barcel Sports that I was a part of.

[00:05:51]>> Yeah. You were swimming in the sewage of Satan. It was crazy, right? Off the beam. Cuz that's what the beam is. The beam is uh Jesus's light above the sewage of Satan.

[00:06:01]>> Well, that and that people say, "How did Jesus walk on water?" I said, "He was on the beam."

[00:06:05]>> Was on the beam.

[00:06:05]>> The beam was in the water.

[00:06:06]>> He was on the be. Wow. Look how switched off.

[00:06:09]>> A a little switched off.

[00:06:10]>> Now, here's the question I have to you now. Do I look handsome today? Cuz I don't feel handsome today cuz my hair I feel bad about it. I I got allergies. I didn't work out this morning. I I gained a pound.

[00:06:20]>> No, the pound. You look good. You look really good.

[00:06:23]>> It makes me pure.

[00:06:25]>> I like you. I like you plumped up a little bit. You like me a little plumped up?

[00:06:27]>> Yeah. I like you the way nature intended. Yeah.

[00:06:29]>> I like you the way nature intended, which is jumping from a 300 cholesterol to a 200 cholesterol in a week.

[00:06:35]>> Back up to a 300 cholesterol. Nice and plumped up. From a Yankees jersey to a Mets jersey to peptides to boxing.

[00:06:42]>> Yeah. From guys to girls.

[00:06:43]>> Guys to girls. Crab McGrath. From Staten Island to Westchester, back to Queens. I like you like little bunny fufu cuz just hopping around, switching directions, dodging cars. You're frogger. You're the video game frogger. And you get through to the other side, though.

[00:06:59]>> Yeah. One time Colin told me, Colin Quinn told me that I'm I'm like a little bee looking for pollen.

[00:07:06]>> A little bee looking for pollen is a good experience. Now, my question for you is your mom liked the legs of uh >> Paul O'Neal and Paul Westfall. Now, what you want to name me Paul and my middle name is Paul.

[00:07:16]>> Yeah. So maybe that had something to do with it. But what's your opinion?

[00:07:19]Because I know when your mom was dating that guy, Bill, I think his name, you would crawl in under the covers and had a good view of his legs. So what were his legs like?

[00:07:27]>> So his legs were nice. And what I would do is is cuz I I didn't realize that I was [ __ ] blocking my mom. But what I inadvertently do is they would sleep over and I would sleep on the floor.

[00:07:34]>> I would sleep on the floor. I would sleep at the foot of the bed. One or the other. When I >> like a little dog.

[00:07:39]>> Yeah. Because you have to understand what I'm saying and I'm being dead serious. When I was 15 years old, think about being 15 years old. I'm sleeping at the foot of the bed in the SAME BED AS MY MOM AND HER BOYFRIEND. But it didn't last long cuz the guy said, "I can't do this."

[00:07:49]>> I can't do this.

[00:07:50]>> Cuz I was a little disturbed, a little switched off.

[00:07:52]>> Yeah. Cuz they she what in the morning said, "Lynn, listen. I really like you, but your son is past puberty and he's trying to sneak into your bed to sleep on the floor. I can't do this."

[00:08:02]>> Yeah. I mean, I remember being >> And then she defended you. She defended.

[00:08:05]>> She said, "You get out of here."

[00:08:06]>> Yeah. You get out of here. She threw my That's That's on my She'll defend me.

[00:08:08]And then I remember being in college. I remember being a 22-y old man still going to a pediatrician.

[00:08:14]Yeah, I remember it's Dr. Dub in Howard Beach. Dr. Dubis and he would look in he would look in the kid's ears and say he sees Dumbo.

[00:08:20]>> So I remember being a grown man and him saying, "I see Dumbo in your combination of a lot of things that ordinarily don't make sense." And that's why you're such in good favor with with the logos. They really love you because you're a combination of things. You're a combination of a very smart guy and a [ __ ] person. You have just a combination of things. Like when you hear about the behavior, you go, "Oh, that guy's in a program. And that guy gets picked up on a bus and that guy goes bowling. Yeah. And then they see you and they go, "That can't be the same guy that goes to get a doctorate degree in physical therapy."

[00:08:50]>> Yeah. They go, "No." And how can he be a successful comedian? I go, "LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. BUT I'M TELLING YOU A STORY about a real guy and this is what he did." And they go, "Who is that? Who that guy? Is that guy getting picked up? Did they have to do the electronic thing to put go down and have his wheelchair get in the bus?" And I go, "No, THAT'S CHRIS STEFANO. HE'S THE LEADING scoreer for St. Joe's.

[00:09:10]THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

[00:09:10]>> HE'S THE LEADING SCOREER for St. Yeah. Pull up. Yeah. Pull up Chris Stephano St. Joe's. I mean, I would You ever seen those pictures? I was a skin head.

[00:09:16]>> You were a skin head at that point. And that's what happens. You know how when you wear you wear a suit, you feel more professional. Yeah.

[00:09:22]>> And you know when you had a skin, you said slurs in the mirror.

[00:09:25]>> It's just what it is.

[00:09:26]>> You just did it. Yeah. I mean, look at that guy. Your skin head.

[00:09:29]>> Yeah. Yeah. There there's a couple pictures of me with a skin head. Yeah.

[00:09:31]Yeah. And that's me getting inducted to Division 3 uh St. JOSEPH'S HALL OF FAME.

[00:09:35]>> MY FAVORITE. My f is a great accomplishment. The kid could shoot. The kid was a scorer. He didn't like passing that much. It's what it is, right? Um but the one of my favorite stories was um so Marco went to that gym for some reason. It was such a coincidence. He went to St. Joe's. It was some event that he went to at St. Joe's >> and he was walking in the hallway and they had the St. Joe's Hall of Fame up on a piece of Oster tag. It was >> Yeah. Construction paper.

[00:10:03]>> It was like construction paper. It was like it was made at Arts and Crafts and it was a picture of Chris with like his name in Crayola marker underneath and Chris was in the St. Joe's [ __ ] basketball.

[00:10:12]>> That's it behind me. You see that?

[00:10:14]That's it. That me and this guy that's what I wore in my Hall of Fame induction. I wore a New York Islanders warm-up jacket.

[00:10:20]>> Now back then that that is when you were other side of the pizza restaurant menu, Chrissy, I was a little blown out, right?

[00:10:27]>> Potato croats.

[00:10:27]>> Yeah, but this but this guy was you were good.

[00:10:30]>> Good. Yeah, I I I bit lady arms though a little bit. This is where that you know when you're like in between weight. I mean that's like that's when you're at your handsomest, right?

[00:10:39]>> Yeah.

[00:10:39]>> Cuz the thing about you, like me, I the thing about us, right, is we're kind of handsome guys, but we're a little untradition. Like it's a little off, right?

[00:10:47]>> Like you know, our different angles, different days, right? So it's like some days I look special needs and some days you're going like, is he This is the most common thing I think girls say about me. Wait a second. Yeah.

[00:10:58]>> They go, wait a second. I saw that guy yesterday. He looked bald and he looked like he had one eye.

[00:11:04]>> Wait a second. Is he cute? I think I'm an is he cute guy. I'm an is I'm constantly in question.

[00:11:10]>> Well, I think what it is is like Britney's friends are kind of like they'll say they'll they'll meet you and they just won't have any comments and then you'll kind of look good on a date and they'll say, you know, I never realized after 10 years that Giannis is kind of handsome.

[00:11:21]>> Kind of handsome. Yeah. Kind of cute. Um it's a constant Wait a second. That doesn't make sense. I saw him post a video yesterday and I mean he looked special needs.

[00:11:31]>> Well, it's got to be fun for Britney, too, cuz every time she wakes up and and goes like this and opens her eyes, she has a different husband.

[00:11:37]>> She looks, she says, "Who who's it going to be today?"

[00:11:39]>> Yeah. And you You're very handsome. But you It changes so much. It >> changes so much. It changes so much. It changes also from the angle, you know, because one side I look handsome, the other side I don't.

[00:11:49]>> Yeah. You got like a good side, you got a bad side, and you got very sharp features, and you got a you got a little bit of a chroma forehead. So it just when you get skinny like I'm trying to tell you what the truth is guys. The truth is is you're supposed to be a big guy.

[00:12:02]>> Yeah. But that's why I want to get in the Ferrari. Do you remember >> I want to get on TRT.

[00:12:06]>> Do you remember when we were at Joe Rogan and he and we were talking we were telling him that like we were both boxing and I said I I I found out that you know Sergio told me I got power in both hands and he said he told me he was skeptical and he said I had a head that looked like I would just be floored in a second. And he's not wrong. And then he and then he looked at your head and he said your head looks like it could take a punch.

[00:12:24]>> Yeah. Like you look right, you look like a big guy, right? So I And the thing is you want to be like a small girl.

[00:12:30]>> I want to be a little guy. I really want to be little.

[00:12:32]>> You want to be a little guy.

[00:12:34]>> Yeah. I want to be little and I want to wear like a crop top and bell bottom jeans. That's what I really really really want. You know that look. And I want to have like a handbag. Like that's what I really want.

[00:12:42]>> You want You want to be like Timothy Shallow?

[00:12:44]>> Yeah. I want to have like cut off jean shorts and I kind of want to be roller skating on 7th Avenue.

[00:12:49]>> That's what I really really really want.

[00:12:50]>> You really want to be like a petite guy.

[00:12:52]You want to be like Ben Stiller who's like 53, >> but you're just on camera you look like just a big [ __ ] guy because in real life you're 61 >> and at a natural rate you're probably natural weight like comfortable weight you're 220 61 that's a heavyweight >> but I don't want to be that at all.

[00:13:09]Yeah, I want to be this guy. I want to be bent down. I want to be running around. Yeah, that's what I really really really want. That's I want to come walking in. It's funny to you, right? It's very funny because you come you're you have an intimidating look.

[00:13:22]Your head you got a big forehead. You got you got you look like a racist cop.

[00:13:28]>> You look like a guy who's got a lot. If you go on the internet, he's got a lot of complaints. You look like a 22 complaint kind of guy. Excessive force.

[00:13:37]Little excessive force. Planted planted uh paraphernalia. Uh reached in the car, planted a bag of coke, roughed the guy up. You know, you look like that kind of guy.

[00:13:47]>> Look like that kind of guy. Yeah.

[00:13:48]>> But then when you diet too much, you look like a lolly.

[00:13:51]>> I LOOK LIKE A LOLLY BECAUSE YOUR HEAD IS JUST >> BUT right now, I'm okay.

[00:13:54]>> You're a masculine guy, >> right? But right now, you don't think I'm lolly yet?

[00:13:57]>> No. Right now, you're perfect.

[00:13:58]>> Stay here.

[00:13:59]>> Right. Stay right here.

[00:14:00]>> Get in the Ferrari.

[00:14:01]>> On the TRT >> cuz I think what you I think what you should do is stay natural. I don't think that's good for you cuz once you get on the team, >> get in the Ferrari, >> you can't get off. That's the problem.

[00:14:11]But it doesn't matter cuz it doesn't matter cuz I mean I just want to get on the Ferrari cuz I don't want to have any more kids. I just don't shrivel up.

[00:14:17]It'll be nice.

[00:14:18]>> But where does the Ferrari lead? That's the thing.

[00:14:20]>> I know. The first >> Ferrari drives you into a little place called Divorce Town.

[00:14:25]>> That's right.

[00:14:26]>> Yeah.

[00:14:26]>> The only way out is in.

[00:14:28]>> The only way out is in. Which I like. I like that expression. The only way out is in.

[00:14:32]>> The Ferrari could lead to a couple of weird places, >> right?

[00:14:35]>> That's the thing. You know, next thing you know, you're on a podcast, >> right?

[00:14:39]>> You're you're raging, >> right? You know, you get your ice coffee, you throw it at Nick for no reason.

[00:14:44]>> Yeah. I mean, Nick Nick thought I was a different kind of guy when he met me. He thought like I was gonna, you know, grab him by the neck and choke him out, but I really just put my arm out cuz I wanted him to check my blood pressure cuz I was having an anxiety attack.

[00:14:54]>> The thing about Nick that I love is uh >> I love a lot about Nick.

[00:14:57]>> Nick is a great guy.

[00:14:58]>> Nick's a great guy.

[00:14:59]>> Thing about Nick that's great is um you know he he wanted to be an actor. The thing was I think someone needed to tell Nick early, listen, Hollywood isn't about it's not about talent. It's not about the role. It's all about look, right?

[00:15:11]>> So, every audition, just show up with a feather in your hair and go, "Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow." That's what it is. And you'll get hired cuz Nick absolutely looks like a Navajo.

[00:15:19]>> Yeah. Nick looks like a crying Indian.

[00:15:21]Like that one tier Indian. That's what Nick looks like.

[00:15:24]>> Nick looks like he's going to die if he catches one of our colds.

[00:15:27]>> It's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. He's got smallox. Yeah.

[00:15:30]>> Yeah. Nick just looks like his immune system can't handle the dirty whites that are in here.

[00:15:33]>> Yeah. But Nick is Nick is a fun guy.

[00:15:35]What I like about What I like about Nick is he's all business. Okay. You notice like Nick on the group chat, how can he respond? How can he help the show? He's all business, you know? It he and he pumps him out quick. He pumps him out good. And what I like about Nick is he's always quiet, which means he's an introvert, which means he's an intelligent guy. Yes.

[00:15:53]>> And I think he's riddled with anxiety.

[00:15:56]>> I think the anxiety hits him like a a [ __ ] a million bricks. Like if we started talking right now about how, hey, once you get to about 44, you know, the chances of you getting a heart attack go up 65%. He's going to mle over that. He's going to sit there. He's going to start sweating. He's going to do he's going to go get his ding.

[00:16:14]>> Yeah. There's Because a lot of times you and I are just locked in. But there's multiple times if you look over there's multiple times where Nick passes out from anxiety through the show and he gets back up and then he misses. Yeah.

[00:16:23]>> We should really have smelling salts in the studio.

[00:16:25]>> He blacks in and He just is in and out now cuz the Patreon doesn't choose We don't choose the Patreon. This is YouTube.

[00:16:33]>> Oh, we're just So, we're keeping this one.

[00:16:35]>> We have to. Yeah.

[00:16:36]>> Okay.

[00:16:36]>> This is the Yeah. Yeah. We just haven't gone to the fun stuff yet, which is the dancing plague of 1519. Is it? Why not?

[00:16:44]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:16:44]>> The dancing the dancing off by one year, which is good. The dancing plague of 1518 is what we're going to be talking about today. But first, before we talk about that, because we were talking off air about it, we got a situation here today. We got a situation. What do I do?

[00:16:58]I was offered Knicks tickets for game one of the of the NBA playoffs, which is tonight. I know this episode's coming out a couple days, but we're in game one of the NBA playoffs. Knicks tickets courtside. I had told my daughter that I was going to go have dinner with her tonight. I was going to be home for dinner cuz I didn't know that I was going to the Knicks game. Now, they've offered me to go to the Knicks game at 8:00 PM tonight, but and I invited Jasmine, who said she would come meet me, but then she was like, "You know what? It's going to be too late. We're not going to get home till 11:30, 12:00.

[00:17:24]I don't want to up I don't want to upset the girl schedules, so I'm going to stay home." But then she said, "You can go if you want to." Which when the wife says that, that means don't go. So, my question is for for the room, what do we do? Do I A try to talk my wife into coming and have a good time with her? Do I B just go home, forget the whole thing, or do I C try to talk her out of going and have her con convince herself that it's a good idea that I go for business and I bring one of you guys in here and we go get >> before you can't you can't it's got to be you can't put that it's got to be on the Patreon.

[00:18:01]>> Why? Well, we'll just put that part on in the Patreon at the end because we this is the YouTube and he's just joking. That's a joke. It's a joke. It's not. But do we go A, B, or C?

[00:18:11]>> I know, but you people need to know that that's a [ __ ] joke. Two married guys.

[00:18:14]>> Yeah, it's just a joke.

[00:18:15]>> It is. And it is actually a joke.

[00:18:17]>> It's just a joke.

[00:18:18]>> I mean, we're a joke. These people, they think we say things, we mean it. We don't mean anything. We're trying to entertain you. Yeah. It's just >> um Now, you want the you want the real solution. Truth. What would you do if you were me? If I was you. Okay. You seem a little You seem a little um undecided about it. I'm undecided right now. It's it's obviously it's >> which is on brand. It's cool to go to a Knicks game. I love I love the opportunity, but I also there's a part of me that wants to go home and just be with the kids.

[00:18:44]>> Now, what what if they if you don't go, does it mess your thing up at all?

[00:18:48]>> No, >> I don't think so. What I would do is I would call them and come up with some type of, you know, emergency situation.

[00:18:54]My stepmother's dead, something like that. Why I can't go?

[00:18:57]>> And and um they like, "Wait, didn't she die last year?"

[00:19:00]>> I'm like, "Yes, my life, but she rose and came back."

[00:19:02]>> You don't know what it is. She's very religious. Um, so I I gauge that and then see if if it's not going to be a problem. If it's going to be a problem, then I stay.

[00:19:11]>> Right. So, what do you think? What would you do, Cause if you were big? You want to know the real answer?

[00:19:14]>> I want to know the real answer. That's why we're on the show. We're real guys.

[00:19:17]>> Yeah. This is a real answer. And it's against it's against my interest because I could be the prime candidate for that second seat. Yeah. Yeah. So, I'll give you the real answer. If you want to know what to do to push you over the edge.

[00:19:28]>> Yeah.

[00:19:28]>> Okay. I would call your daughter, FaceTime with your daughter, and be like, "Hey, uh, Delilah, daddy's got a chance to go to the Nick Game. Should I go?" And then she'll go, "Daddy, come home." And then you just Yeah. Cuz I tell you what happened to me yesterday.

[00:19:42]I was leaving, you know, we recorded yesterday, so I was leaving to real quick. We we recorded a great Patreon episode. Go to patreon.com/hisers and listen to our episode, Comedians for Christ getting coffee. So it was just an hour of comedians for Christ getting coffee. And we really had a fun time defending Christendom to the infidels.

[00:20:01]We did that. We also had a lot of fun talking about how you can have a theme party and you can sort of think outside the box. Think of some new theme parties to do, you know, cuz that's what a lot of people like to do. Oh, it's 60s night,7s night. We thought of some new ones.

[00:20:14]>> We thought of some new ones.

[00:20:15]>> We thought of some new ones. So, go to Patreon and have a good time.

[00:20:18]patreon.com/historyhyenas.

[00:20:20]Uh, it's always good for you to uh support the show and hang out with other fans back there in the chat box.

[00:20:26]>> It's very, very fun.

[00:20:27]>> Yeah. So, what happened to me was I was leaving and um, true story. And, uh, what's the guy looking at?

[00:20:33]>> He keeps looking in the [ __ ] studio.

[00:20:34]We got to get out of here, >> guy. Do we look like two guys who want to be looked at?

[00:20:38]>> Yeah, we got to We really got to get out of the studio.

[00:20:39]>> Yeah, I don't want to be looked at.

[00:20:41]That's New York. What are you looking at? He could have been doing it as a friendly thing.

[00:20:44]>> Yeah.

[00:20:44]>> Um, but she went in the window of her bedroom. Your daughter? Yeah. And she went, "Bye, daddy." And I went, "Bye."

[00:20:50]And I went, "Love you." And she went, "Love you." And I just I [ __ ] melted.

[00:20:54]And then she did a heart with her fingers. And then I left. I I got in I was driving back in the the car out of my driveway crying.

[00:21:02]>> Yeah.

[00:21:03]>> On the way to the podcast.

[00:21:04]>> Yeah. No, I was crying. Yeah. It made me cry. Yeah. It just I started crying.

[00:21:09]Right.

[00:21:09]>> So it's like >> if you ask her and she tells you, "Daddy, go ahead. We're going to" If you go, "God, would you mind if I went to the next game?" It's courtside. Yeah.

[00:21:17]She go, "Daddy, come." And then you just And then you just can't. But the okay so I while on the one hand I agree with that and I should do that I also don't want to put any pressure on my kids right the other part I don't want to put pressure on my kids and unfortunately my wife doesn't help me because she's like do what you feel is the right thing to do >> maybe you need to pray on it >> YEAH PRAY ON IT >> should I call my mom >> yeah call your mom call your mom and ask her what you should do you know what she's going to say >> well my mom has already my mom never understood why she was like you know you're in a grown man with a family I don't know why you would go to Nick's games without your family Right.

[00:21:49]>> That's what But my mom doesn't really get it where my father is like, "You got to go to the game for a second."

[00:21:53]>> Right. Right. Right.

[00:21:54]>> Yeah.

[00:21:55]>> I think this You'd be in a conundrum, too. You don't >> I'd be in a conundrum. I'd be in a conundrum. Yeah. Cuz I'm at the age where it's like Yeah. It's an age thing cuz >> it's also like an age. How great is it?

[00:22:04]But, you know, and I feel >> But you do it all the time. It's an age thing. Like I've only done it like I think twice with you, right, for the St. John's. And I like Yeah. I could go either way, >> right?

[00:22:14]>> It's like that's the great thing about having a family. If I was a single guy, I'd be like, "Chrissy, call your wife.

[00:22:19][ __ ] tell her Yanni's dying of cancer. I got to put Yanni in a seat."

[00:22:23]But when you have a family, it's like, "What compares, right?"

[00:22:26]>> So, it's like, it's a very understandable the way you feel, >> right?

[00:22:30]>> Yeah.

[00:22:30]>> Yeah.

[00:22:30]>> You always think something's wrong with the way you feel.

[00:22:33]>> THAT'S WHAT IT IS. YEAH.

[00:22:34]>> There's nothing wrong with the way you feel. It's a conundrum because you have a family and getting home to your daughters is great, but going to the Nick game is great. So, you have two great options.

[00:22:42]>> That's just what it is.

[00:22:42]>> So, the people are listening to this are getting mad at you. They're going, "Chrissy, you got two GOOD OPTIONS.

[00:22:46]WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

[00:22:46]>> Should we just call Jazz on the on the show?

[00:22:49]>> Yeah. Let >> Call her up and ask her.

[00:22:51]>> What time is >> Okay. You got two options that most people would kill for.

[00:22:57]>> Yeah. Here he is. Okay. Okay. Let's >> The only thing I don't like about your look today is you didn't think about your hair at all.

[00:23:02]>> Well, because Well, cuz I thought I was just going right home and I I didn't >> But you know, you got to look cute for me. I didn't put any gel in.

[00:23:11]>> Hello.

[00:23:12]>> Hey.

[00:23:13]>> Hey. I You're on the podcast. Just Just give me >> Wait. Wait. Wait. Oh, damn it. I was mid sneeze.

[00:23:20]>> Oh, really? It sounded like you were mid something else. UM >> OH MY GOD.

[00:23:26]>> WHAT THE HELL?

[00:23:27]>> I'm sure she's thrilled about getting a call on the pod. So, mid sneeze, I'm sorry. Um I just we have just just give me 30 seconds of your time. I'm sorry for interrupting your sneeze. Um what what do we do about this Knicks game?

[00:23:39]I'm having a conundrum because I obviously, you know, told Delilah we come home for dinner. I want, you know, Giannis's suggestion was why don't you ask Delila what she wants, but I want to put pressure on her. You tell me. Do what you feel is best, which I don't know what the hell that means.

[00:23:54]>> Look, don't put pressure on our 10-year-old, >> right? I knew that. So, that was good that I just do you need to just do whatever is more important to you.

[00:24:04]What's more important to you, Chris?

[00:24:08]>> That's an answer. That's an answer. All right, honey. So, I'll see you at midnight.

[00:24:15]>> Yeah. So, I got to have feet on the hardwood, babe.

[00:24:19]>> Now, let me just talk because what happens if you know tonight we're going to watch the game. I want to watch it with the family. They're not going to want to watch it. What if Delilah wants to hang out with her friends when I get home? Like, what do you think of all these scenarios? I just need a little help from you.

[00:24:33]>> You're just trying to make Baby, I already told you what to do. So, >> Right.

[00:24:38]So, do you want to come?

[00:24:39]>> So, now it's up to you. Like, do you want to make a mistake or do you want to do what?

[00:24:43]>> Do you want But do you want to come?

[00:24:46]>> No, no, no. I want to put the kids to bed and stuff. I don't want to go.

[00:24:49]>> Okay. Because the also the another scenario is I I gave them your name obviously like you were going to be my plus one. But we also had another idea in here. What if you know I understand like I still went but then and I didn't change the guest name. It's just Giannis threw on the Marica wig and then it was just it was >> and then it's kind of like and everyone says, "Hey, Jasmine." I say, you know, and they're like, "You look so great."

[00:25:10]What? You know, what about that? Is that an option?

[00:25:14]>> I don't know if I could pull it off.

[00:25:15]>> You don't think you can pull it off?

[00:25:16]>> I don't think I can pull it off cuz I we we have, you know, >> Yeah. It's I don't know.

[00:25:21]>> See the bingo earrings. You'll be fine.

[00:25:23]>> Yeah. I don't know if it I I think it I think it'll I think people will not believe it.

[00:25:27]>> They will not believe it.

[00:25:28]>> I don't think they'll believe it.

[00:25:29]>> Okay. All right. So, yeah. I'm what I'm going to do is I'm going to call the people >> give everybody an attitude and that's it.

[00:25:34]>> I'm going to call the people at the Nicks uh office and see like what if it's a problem cuz you know those seats can't stay empty and I'm sure there's they'll get someone will say yes right away but >> I'm I'm sure.

[00:25:46]>> Yeah, because >> I'm making excuses because I know that's what you really want to do. Just go then. Just go. It's fine.

[00:25:52]>> No, but I I don't want Delilah, you know, but I I you know I thought I was coming home today. will survive this, >> right?

[00:26:00]>> I don't know if you will, but she will.

[00:26:03]>> All right, I'll call you in a little bit.

[00:26:05]>> All right, go back to my sneeze.

[00:26:07]>> Yeah, go back to your sneeze if that's what you're calling it. All right. All right. Bye.

[00:26:12]Love you. Bye. Bye. Listen, here's the thing, cuz I like when I call you. I like when you pick up and I know that you never miss a call cuz you're using a little thing called >> You know that we use everything that we promote. Yeah.

[00:26:27]>> So, we're going to tell you about Quo.

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[00:27:19]All right, guys. I want to give a quick message from today's sponsor, the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program.

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[00:28:29]>> Yeah. I mean, I love the way women do it. They >> has a guy in the house. It's one >> I love the way women do it. It's uh it's like they they don't give you the answer, but they give they the answer is in the knock.

[00:28:41]>> The answer to that, >> she put it on you. The answer to that, boys, is she's like, "You shouldn't be going." She wants you home, obviously.

[00:28:47]Yeah.

[00:28:48]>> Yeah.

[00:28:48]>> Yeah. But, but she would say that anyway.

[00:28:50]>> Right.

[00:28:51]>> That's what women always want you home.

[00:28:52]>> Right. Right. Right. Right.

[00:28:53]>> What are you going to do?

[00:28:54]>> What are you going to do? You know what you did was you by calling her, you now you made it, I think, even worse.

[00:29:00]>> Right.

[00:29:00]>> Right. You made it worse.

[00:29:01]>> She laughed about it on the pod, but what's going to happen is I'm going to get a call privately and she's going to do a little thing we call laying into me.

[00:29:07]>> She's going to lay into you and say, "Yeah, I guess we're not that important to you."

[00:29:11]>> Yeah. What? You know, you joke around.

[00:29:14]You say I look like Marissa.

[00:29:15]>> Yeah. Like what the [ __ ] But you know, >> it is a legitimate conundrum.

[00:29:20]>> It is a legitimate legitimate conundrum because I want to be a good father, but I also want to be a good Knicks fan. And as if they advance, it gets harder to get those seats, >> right? And I already asked, can I go Wednesday, which would be game two? And they said that's full.

[00:29:33]>> Yeah.

[00:29:33]>> So the answer, the option is now.

[00:29:36]>> Yeah.

[00:29:36]>> Or or next series, >> right? You know, because I'm on the list, which I'm very thankful to be on the list, but I'm not I'm not every game on the list. Like Ben Stiller and those guys every game.

[00:29:46]What do you how what are you going to do to go? Cuz you obviously want to go. No, but I there's a I only want to go because I feel if I don't go, it's a really stupid decision because so many people would want to go. So, I'm really I'm really making a decision for someone else.

[00:30:02]You know what I'm trying to say? Like I I actually What makes me feel calmer is is me saying, "Oh, after this pond, I'm just going to I'm just going to drive home."

[00:30:11]>> Well, that makes you feel calmer, >> right? You shouldn't feel that way because you go to so many. So, it's like it's understandable, >> right?

[00:30:17]>> If this was like a once if this was like a one Nick just can't believe you're not going. Nick thinks I should go.

[00:30:23]>> Yeah.

[00:30:24]>> Again, I'm just here to have a good time with my friends, but yes, you should go.

[00:30:28]>> Nick, you should bring Nick one time.

[00:30:30]>> Should I bring Nick? You should bring >> They won't let him in with those shorts.

[00:30:32]No, but we'll tell him he'll dress up and put a tuxedo on.

[00:30:35]>> You know, we know you you know like uh you remember um the movie uh what's the movie? Clueless.

[00:30:42]>> You just take Nick, we take him shopping, >> we throw him on a thing. I used to move my monkey to Stacy Dash a lot big and Clueless.

[00:30:49]>> Was that because of her political opinions or her?

[00:30:51]>> And that and and you know what I mean? I like hot blacks and chubby Indians.

[00:30:54]That's what I'm into.

[00:30:55]>> Yeah, she it's funny. Like it's funny.

[00:30:57]She like she really turned into a very conservative lady. Yeah, but she will get she will get cracked open.

[00:31:02]>> Yeah, she Well, >> yeah.

[00:31:04]>> Well, >> I mean, when she was younger. Yeah.

[00:31:06]>> Yeah. Wow.

[00:31:07]>> She's almost 60, cuz >> is she?

[00:31:09]>> Yeah. 59.

[00:31:09]>> Holy sh My god. Cuz we're getting old.

[00:31:14]>> It's wild, right?

[00:31:14]>> She's almost 60.

[00:31:16]>> Yeah. She was 20 years old in Clueless.

[00:31:19]No way.

[00:31:20]>> Yeah. 1997 the movie came out. Oh, sorry. 30 years old.

[00:31:23]>> Yeah, she's 30. So, she was So, she was a 30-year-old playing a high schooler.

[00:31:27]>> Yeah. That's pretty.

[00:31:29]>> I mean, I think Arculus came out in '96, 97. Yeah.

[00:31:31]>> Yeah. That's funny that like they were playing high schoolers and she was 30.

[00:31:35]>> 1995. She was 28.

[00:31:37]>> Oh my. How old was uh the other one?

[00:31:39]>> Alicia Silverstone. And then let's get to the dancing plague of 1518.

[00:31:43]>> Yeah, we'll get to that. But >> get to the dancing plague. 158.

[00:31:46]>> I mean, she's 60 years old.

[00:31:48]>> She's 60 years old. Silverstone's probably similar. 49. She was actually >> She was really 20.

[00:31:54]>> She was No, high school.

[00:31:55]>> 19. She was 19 or 20.

[00:31:57]>> 19 or 20. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:31:59]>> Also gorgeous lady.

[00:32:00]>> So yeah, they just gave her the role and she was 10 years older though.

[00:32:03]>> Just what it is.

[00:32:04]>> Yeah.

[00:32:05]>> Holy macaroni.

[00:32:06]>> Yeah. Holy macaroni.

[00:32:08]>> Looks good for a 59y old lady though.

[00:32:09]>> 100%.

[00:32:10]>> Yeah. 59. I just can't believe I have, you know, that's the thing.

[00:32:13]>> She's from the South Bronx.

[00:32:15]>> Um >> I did not know that that she's from the Boogie Down production.

[00:32:18]>> I did not. Still doing it >> 100%.

[00:32:21]>> Yeah, that's a little older.

[00:32:24]60 does not look like what 60 used to look like.

[00:32:26]>> No, no, no. a little thing called Peptide.

[00:32:28]>> Yeah. I mean, yeah, she was something.

[00:32:30]>> Yeah. Remember Vita Guerrera?

[00:32:32]>> Uh, >> remember her?

[00:32:33]>> She was the best best ass in the business.

[00:32:36]>> She was like the she Everybody loved her when I was high school in my early 20s.

[00:32:42]>> Vita Vita. Yeah. Vita Grant. Look at her. I mean, this this is going to make you go. Remember her >> and the ass?

[00:32:50]>> They're not showing the ass though.

[00:32:51]>> Yeah.

[00:32:54]>> Ya. There we go. Oh.

[00:32:56]>> Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[00:32:57]>> Yeah. I mean, >> it's tough to deal with.

[00:32:59]>> Yeah. It's kind of tough to deal with, right?

[00:33:00]>> Tough to deal with.

[00:33:01]>> It's just what it is. Yeah. Did she ever do porn? I wonder. Probably not.

[00:33:04]>> No, >> she just like photo.

[00:33:07]>> No.

[00:33:08]>> Just just pics. Right.

[00:33:09]>> Yeah. This I think you know she in that Maxim era.

[00:33:13]>> Yeah. Like she never did big money for like just you know sexy shoots.

[00:33:17]>> Right. Right. She didn't have to do porn.

[00:33:19]>> Yeah. That was But yeah, I mean Maxim just couldn't keep up once porn got on the internet. Right. What do you do with Max? Oh, she has an Only Fans, which makes sense.

[00:33:28]>> Yeah, that makes sense.

[00:33:29]>> But you have to.

[00:33:30]>> Yeah, she was an actress, right?

[00:33:31]>> I believe so.

[00:33:32]>> Yeah.

[00:33:33]>> I don't like Only Fans. They make it too hard. I I I I tried it once. It sucked.

[00:33:38]>> I don't like cuz they want your info.

[00:33:40]You don't want to give your info.

[00:33:41]>> Yeah. I'm not trying to give my info.

[00:33:42]>> Yeah.

[00:33:45]>> And what can you do?

[00:33:46]>> They got to make it simple. Listen, I like Only Fans cuz it's given a lot of girls make a lot of money on that.

[00:33:51]>> Yeah. Now, we might get dinged on this for YouTube. So, we got to throw this on the Patreon. Why?

[00:33:54]>> Well, because don't if you pull stuff up like this, doesn't it demonetize you, Nick? Am I wrong on that?

[00:33:58]>> Well, we don't have to show it. Okay, >> we don't have to show it. We didn't We don't have to show it.

[00:34:01]>> All right, let's get to the dancing plague of 1518 because we originally going to talk about >> Let's take a hard turn >> for today. We were originally going to talk about We were going to do the resurrection, which I thought was a good idea, but then I thought we were doing very heavy religion, very heavy crusades. I said, "Let's go not religion. Let's go not controversial.

[00:34:18]Let's just go fun." And Yanni to his credit came up with the dancing plague of 1518 which took place in Straburg Austria which is Giannis and I have visited. Yes. This was uh a bunch of you know at the time I think it was like France. It was part of the Holy Roman Empire. The Holy Roman Empire was like Charlemagne right? They tried to bring back Rome. Everyone's always trying to bring back Rome but it was just sort of like a >> confederation of German states. There was plagues. There was poverty. And so in July, summer of 1518, probably very cute in that area.

[00:34:52]>> Oh my god. Remember how cute Strawburg was? Home of Mozart. Do you remember how much fun we had in Strawburg?

[00:34:56]>> Had a good time.

[00:34:57]>> Remember I got that chocolate pastry and I was really enjoyed it.

[00:35:00]>> Yeah. So what happens is it's this wild and this has happened a few times.

[00:35:06]>> This is this is a real phenomenon. We're not This is This is documented. This is documented and it happened a bunch of times in Europe. And the thing that they h that all of them had in common was it was like dire situations. There was like plagues and and you know and starvation and high stress obviously very religious people Christians >> um that believed the you know demons and all that type of stuff.

[00:35:31]>> So >> I just took a scoop and a sniff by the way live on the pod.

[00:35:34]>> You did.

[00:35:34]>> I did. I I inadvertently was like if you listen to the Patreon episode like the German coach I took a scoop and I took a sniff.

[00:35:40]>> Yeah. Because Yeah.

[00:35:41]>> Because you are right that because I now thinking of it. There's been so many times I've unconsciously taken a scoop and then sniffed it but not thought about it. But now I've been thinking about it. I took a scoop and sniff.

[00:35:49]There's no way once you scoop, you're committed to the sniff.

[00:35:52]>> You got to commit to the snip.

[00:35:53]>> And we talk about it on the this week's bonus episode. So go check it out. It's very fun. Um so this lady, right, this lady her name who knows Trophy.

[00:36:03]>> Fro Trophy. So who knows if she was a if she was a piece or not.

[00:36:07]>> Probably a piece.

[00:36:08]>> Probably a piece >> with fumes though.

[00:36:09]>> And I'll tell you why. Probably a piece.

[00:36:11]>> Tell me. because she started dancing alone >> and then people joined her.

[00:36:17]>> Yeah.

[00:36:17]>> So, she had to be a piece. Yeah.

[00:36:19]>> Cuz if it was just some [ __ ] fatty out there on the dance floor in the middle of the town square, >> people are just going, you know, it's just Nobody has it worse than ugly fat chicks, it just I it's horrible. I don't like that. But unless she started dancing in the middle of East New York, >> right?

[00:36:36]>> NOBODY'S GOING TO JOIN HER. NOBODY'S GOING TO JOIN. NOBODY'S GOING TO JOIN HER. UNLESS she's in the predominantly black community, nobody's going to join her. Right. Right. It's just a bunch of white guys going like, "Not my type."

[00:36:46]>> Yeah.

[00:36:46]>> It's just not my type. They're going to leave her alone if she If she was a fatty boom batty.

[00:36:50]>> Fatty boom batty. Yeah. Over. If she was a fatty boom batty, they would have started throwing buckets of cold water at her.

[00:36:56]>> To get her away.

[00:36:57]>> Yeah. Well, they would have started throwing buckets of cold water because they would have thought that she got beed and they don't want her to die.

[00:37:02]They don't want to die. They're trying to get water on her and keep her alive.

[00:37:04]>> They're trying to do the right thing.

[00:37:05]>> Yeah. So, um, she starts dancing uncontrollably in the street, right?

[00:37:11]Just on a day in July, she starts bugging out and she's not dancing like, you know, she's [ __ ] like a rave, right?

[00:37:19]>> Like, you know, it looks like, you know, you ever go to Fort Green, you know, Fort Green Park, which is a neighborhood in Brooklyn, and there's a bunch of like Jamaicans and like people >> I went to college over there.

[00:37:29]>> Yeah. And then you see like a bunch of dirty white people all dressed. Yeah.

[00:37:32]They're just kind of, >> you know, what's a little fun fact about Fort Green? We're going to do a live podcast from there. Do you know just recently they were doing a little excavating at Fort Green? Do you know what they found? What?

[00:37:41]>> Like 30 red coat soldiers from the re revolutionary war.

[00:37:45]>> Wow.

[00:37:45]>> Like full skeletons with the red coats >> with the coats on.

[00:37:48]>> With the coats on because that's how cute they were. They wanted to die with them.

[00:37:51]>> Yeah.

[00:37:51]>> Yeah.

[00:37:51]>> Yeah.

[00:37:52]>> They were cute.

[00:37:52]>> They were cute.

[00:37:53]>> The British they had cute outfits, too.

[00:37:55]>> We should do an episode where we rate cute war outfits.

[00:37:58]>> Yeah, we'll do it >> because they were super I would say super cute. You got to give Nazis number one of course number two.

[00:38:05]>> Just as far as style goes.

[00:38:06]>> Style goes. Yeah. I mean, super cute.

[00:38:08]>> Super cute. And I kind of like the Japanese uh Axis Power World War II uniforms with those hats with the long things in the back like kind of running around playing tennis. I like it.

[00:38:16]>> I like the World War I helmets because, you know, they had a nice penis on their head.

[00:38:21]>> Yeah, I like that. And they you can use that as a weapon as a last resort.

[00:38:23]>> It just looked like one big bachelorette party.

[00:38:26]>> Yeah, it's what it is.

[00:38:26]>> Had penises on their head.

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[00:39:31]>> 10 minutes goes by, 20 minutes goes by, next thing you know it's an hour, 2 hours, 3 hours, 15 hours, 24 hours, and then no sleeping, no sleeping, no nothing. [ __ ] themselves, peeing herself, and then just people start dancing with her, right?

[00:39:46]>> So other people just start joining her, right? And then the next thing you know it gets up to about 400 people just dancing. So the authorities, the medical people, whoever they were, I don't know what they did back then. I don't know who they were. They probably like dog catchers/d doctors. Who knows what the [ __ ] they were? Witchcraft people, priests. They all start bugging out and going, "What is going on? How do we stop this?" Right? So they try to contain a few of them, but they they have like superhuman strength and they they like flail around and it gets like dangerous.

[00:40:19]So they decide, okay, what are we going to do? Let's just leave them >> and maybe they'll stop. They don't stop.

[00:40:23]So then they go, "Okay, maybe um maybe if we bring actual cuz they're just dancing with no music either." So it's a very white, right? It's a very white thing to do. There's no beat and they're just flailing around, right? And so they go, "What if we actually brought musicians in and and and and maybe that'll they'll that'll fulfill them and they'll stop." They brought musicians in, set up a stage, and people started playing music and it just made it worse.

[00:40:48]Yeah. More people joined, >> right?

[00:40:50]>> And so they all these people are dancing and they won't stop. And most of them danced until they died. That's crazy.

[00:40:58]>> Yeah. Their feet were bleeding. They were swollen. They were spraining their ankles. They weren't feeling the pain.

[00:41:03]This sounds like this sounds like a Puerto Rican barbecue.

[00:41:05]>> It really witness.

[00:41:07]>> I mean, it is. And it has baffled historians and scientists till this day.

[00:41:12]They don't have an explanation for it.

[00:41:15]It's sort of like a mass psychosis thing brought on by stress. That seems to be the biggest theory because after we talk about this, we'll look at other incidents and what they had in common.

[00:41:24]It was like people were under massive stress to the point where like we as Americans, what what annoys me the most?

[00:41:32]Tell me. I'll tell you what annoys me the most.

[00:41:34]>> What annoys you?

[00:41:35]>> When people like really [ __ ] on America, like I'm glad there's differing opinions in freedom of speech and people should always criticize everything. That's how you know you got a healthy society. It's decentralized power. But when they kind of cross that line of like America's like a horrible country, I'm going like, what are you comparing it to? RIGHT.

[00:41:52]>> WHAT ARE you comparing America to? A utopia? Yeah, we're shitty compared to a utopia. But name me a time and place or a country even currently that is better, freer, has more legal protections, that is more anti-racist with legal protections, all the things that you complain about. WHAT IS BETTER THAN AMERICA?

[00:42:12]>> YEAH. YEAH. DO YOU THINK >> DID YOU EVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT [ __ ] STARVATION, >> RIGHT? YEAH.

[00:42:16]>> I MEAN, THERE'S [ __ ] POOR PEOPLE WHO ARE EATING DOLLAR BURGERS AT MCDONALD'S >> OR being who you want to be. You think that China was going to let Nick walk around with a hard on cargo shorts and a hooing dude Guerrera mask through a story? It's not going to happen.

[00:42:26]>> It's not going to happen, dude. No. It's like, so what are we comparing it to?

[00:42:29]Because it's it's it's it's stories like this in history that let you know like, oh, these people had famine, disease, uh, plagues. They were starving people.

[00:42:42]>> Yeah. Starving >> and dying like left and right. And the doctors were just going, I don't know.

[00:42:45]Jesus cursed you.

[00:42:46]>> Yeah. That was it.

[00:42:48]>> Now, here's the thing with these phenomenons. They they they bl the Salem witch trials of the 1600s. This uh the dancing plague of 1518. They always go back to this urgot fungus that grows on rye and causes hallucinations and spasms. They think a big part of mass psychosis is from the past is this urgot phenomenon. Now, I can see how that could be I could see how something like that, a fungus, can cause these issues because look at now look at the streets of like say New York City or whatever city you're living in is with all these edibles with with making weed legal.

[00:43:23]Look at all the crazy people in the streets now. And it's because of these they they overdo it on the edibles and then they start to go crazy and hallucinate. So imagine back then without science and all that an urgot fungus could be growing through all your stuff and you are really going crazy but it's very easily explainable. Yeah, this could be like the first rave.

[00:43:41]>> It could be. I mean we don't know like you know this one was docu this was the most documented one >> so I don't know I haven't looked into it enough to know if they had uh baby suckers and if they had light they might have had uh fluorescent lights they might have been doing this. I don't know.

[00:43:57]>> Well and St. Vitus. A lot of people in religious blamed it on St. Vitus that it was a curse from St. Vitus who was thought to punish people with uncontrollable dancing. So that tells me that St. Vitus is a homosexual man.

[00:44:08]>> It's very possible >> because that is a very gay thing to do to be like I'm going to make everyone dance.

[00:44:13]>> Who knows? Maybe Diplo is a time traveler and he just peaked in on 1518 and started hitting the wheels of steel.

[00:44:18]>> It's just what it is.

[00:44:19]>> This could have been the first DJ.

[00:44:20]>> Yeah. And I'll tell you what, I always like to dance to Diplo and I love his music and the kid has got an absolute piece.

[00:44:28]>> No, no, no. His dick.

[00:44:30]>> Oh, no. I didn't know about it. Diplo >> Diplo's penis real quick and then we'll go back to the dancing plague of 1518.

[00:44:36]>> Why do you know about Diplo's dick?

[00:44:38]>> Yeah, it's just what it is. Yeah, Diplo has got a [ __ ] hammer [ __ ] Yeah. See where that H is? Yeah. So that he posted he posted some pics. They hit my group chat. But if you look, Diplo has got a a huge huge huge penis. Yeah, you could find it places. Diplo. Yeah, he'll get Yeah, he's got a massive [ __ ] It's just what it is. Here it is. Diplo.

[00:44:59]>> What? How? Why do you know about Diplo's pace?

[00:45:01]>> Because I took that picture.

[00:45:04]Just what it is, guys. Yeah. Gutters, too.

[00:45:08]>> Yeah. I mean, damn. The kid's got a [ __ ] rocket.

[00:45:10]>> He's got a rocket. And the kid makes about 40 schmill a year.

[00:45:13]>> Yeah. The kid they make he just they do well these DJs. He's not worried about it. Diplo worried about it. He ain't worried about nothing. He ain't worried about the price of gas.

[00:45:22]>> Yeah, but there it is. But yeah, Diplo's dick.

[00:45:23]>> What the [ __ ] >> That's his actual penis.

[00:45:25]>> That's his That's his pee pee because >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I tell you what, the circumcision, whoever did it was really aggressive. That kid, they removed the whole foreskin. He's got nothing even close. Nothing.

[00:45:35]>> I mean, he's all chafed down.

[00:45:37]>> Now, let me ask you this. You said you Let me ask cuz you said there's other points in history that are similar to this 1518 dancing plague. What are some of those other ones that you found out about through your research?

[00:45:47]>> I mean, look, so there's been other times um where this has happened where this sort of collective behavior has been observed, right?

[00:45:55]>> And um it was all it was times in Europe. It was close to these times. So, uh Jesse, if you could pull up those times.

[00:46:02]>> Yeah, cuz it's mass. The problem is is it's mass it's mass psychosis, mass hysteria. And I wonder if the people during those times just thought of it as like, oh, these people are crazy. We have to deal with it. I wonder if right now if some of the you know some of the political opinions of some of our brothers and sisters if that is going to be considered mass hysteria, mass hallucinations come by making your kids trans. Yeah.

[00:46:22]>> Yeah.

[00:46:25]>> I don't know but yeah I mean this was um this was something so the outbreak was at that time but also the people I think they thought that these were just people were just possessed by demons. I think it was just guys just trying to get on dance floor cuz some of these girls were pieces and I think girls were just they wanted to be free a little bit.

[00:46:42]>> It's just what it is.

[00:46:42]>> Yeah, girl. It's not easy in a religious society to be a lady.

[00:46:45]>> No, you can't do it.

[00:46:46]>> It's just tough.

[00:46:47]>> Now, we had the laughing epidemic of 1962 in modern day Tanzania. Um, a few school girls started laughing uncontrollably uncontrollably. Uh, it spread through the school then to nearby villages. Now, I don't know if that was that >> that was >> maybe they were listening to the history.

[00:47:01]>> Well, I was going to say yeah, that or they watch a little Matt Refe. Yeah, probably more like it. Yeah.

[00:47:06]>> Episode lasted hours or even days and the schools had to shut down. People were fainting and it was pain and breathing problems. Then we had the meowing nuns of the Middle Ages. So in medieval France, we had a convent that reportedly experienced a bizarre outbreak when nuns began meowing like cats. Couldn't stop. They might have just been horned up.

[00:47:22]>> Yeah. Um it only stopped when soldiers threatened punishment. So that tells you if the one Oh yeah, I just threw my pencil.

[00:47:28]>> So soldiers threatened punishment. This is often cited as an example of extreme group conformity combined with psychological stress in isolated religious movements. And then of course the one we mentioned, the Salem witch trials where young girls began began having fits, screaming, convulsing, and accusing others of witchcraft and they all got burnt at stake.

[00:47:43]>> Yes.

[00:47:44]>> Oh, the June bug epidemic in 1962, which we're going through one of those right now in Bay Rich.

[00:47:51]>> Yeah.

[00:47:55]>> Certain parts of Brooklyn is going through a bit of a bug epidemic. No.

[00:47:59]>> Yeah. Hey. Yeah. A little bit. You know what? I'm >> Oh, look at this one. The Leroy ticks.

[00:48:04]From 2011 to 2012. In Leroy, a group of high school students, mostly girls, develop sudden facial ticks, verbal outbursts, and twitching. And it's called the Leroy tick.

[00:48:14]>> Way on.

[00:48:15]>> That's just what it is. Cuz >> Yeah, cuz they were being loud. Yeah.

[00:48:18]They were being kind of loud and they kept running away from magicians.

[00:48:24]>> So, these are always women. My take on this, the fungus thing is very um interesting. Yeah. Ergo, because there was an outbreak during that time, 1518.

[00:48:35]So that's possible. But what I'm seeing, the common theme is like, and I've thought about this recently in history, I just think women always had it bad, right?

[00:48:43]>> Like nobody want they couldn't they were so controlled, right? and like so like kept and like ruled that I think there just were these times where they just like somebody just lost their they lost lost their mind and others grew in was like yeah I feel that too. Let's just our lives are miserable. Let's just [ __ ] dance till we die.

[00:49:02]>> Yeah. It's just what it is.

[00:49:03]>> So here's some here's some other incidents with the dancing mania. 1374 was the biggest wave.

[00:49:11]>> Oh.

[00:49:11]>> And this was the largest recorded and even the way they even the way they report it they call it an outbreak.

[00:49:16]Yeah.

[00:49:17]>> Spreading across multiple cities.

[00:49:20]One city called another Cologne. We know Cologne. Mets and Trier.

[00:49:25]>> Mets.

[00:49:25]>> Mets. Ms. >> M- TZ.

[00:49:28]>> Yeah. Mets >> and Trier. So, uh, people danced in the street for days at a time, screamed, hallucinated, convulsed some, and begged for help but couldn't stop. So, that was another thing in 1518 too. The people were screaming and begging for help.

[00:49:42]Yeah.

[00:49:42]>> So, they were like, it was almost like they were took over by something. That's why a lot of them thought they were possessed by demons, which maybe they were. Who [ __ ] knows? But they were screaming out and crying in pain and asking for help and telling, "Please help me stop."

[00:49:54]>> So they couldn't. And the same thing happened in 1374.

[00:49:58]And this wasn't local. It spread like a contagion along trade routes. Um, and chronicers described thousands of people dancing until they drop.

[00:50:08]>> Right.

[00:50:08]>> And then we had the 127 12 >> 37 children's dancing outbreak >> in effort. So do you think this is just Germanic Frenchy golly like tribal people like just you know what I mean just like >> getting wild getting weird >> wild and weird >> I mean look this one is like you know children reportedly began dancing and jumping uncontrollably be I mean no that could have just been a little thing undiagnosed autism >> but then they traveled miles to nearby by towns >> um and they were like I guess they were traveling and dancing they were marching it was like I don't know what they were doing and they collap from exhaustion.

[00:50:41]>> How come it doesn't happen anymore?

[00:50:42]That's my question. What changed? Why are there no more recent in?

[00:50:45]>> I think cuz once whites got around blacks, they got embarrassed to dance.

[00:50:50]>> Yeah. Cuz you ever try to dance around black people, you just get very self-conscious.

[00:50:52]>> It's very bad. Yeah.

[00:50:53]>> Yeah. When I'm around white people, I feel very confident. I feel good. Yeah.

[00:50:56]>> Yeah. Same thing with Latins. You just feel embarrassed.

[00:50:59]>> We just We're not as good. We're not as good at that.

[00:51:01]>> Nick, can you naturally dance >> pretty well?

[00:51:04]>> A little bit. Yeah.

[00:51:04]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:51:05]>> It's just they're born with it.

[00:51:06]>> Yeah. And then uh we had the 1020 to 1021 dancing mania and this was in Kolick or something wherever the hell that is. Kolick Colick. It has some squiggly lines over it. So maybe it was like Ottoman territory, right?

[00:51:20]>> A group allegedly began dancing inside near a church. Uh chronicers framed it as a divine punishment. The dancers were did the same thing. Dance for days or longer. This is the this is one of the earliest documented cases. And this one was tied to religious interpretation.

[00:51:35]So, this is interesting. These dancing plagues have happened through history, but I wonder why they've stopped. Yeah.

[00:51:40]And then this one, 1278, 200 people danced on a bridge. Any of them die? Uh, the bridge reportedly collapsed. It's just what it is. It's just what it is.

[00:51:49]So, you had a couple of fatty batties on there and survivors were taken to a chapel. Um, so this is just something that's happened. And by the way, so the 1518 stopped for unexplainable reasons in September. So this [ __ ] went on from what was it? July, August, and September. And you also have to remember how hot it was, right? It was summer, so a lot of them died from dehydration.

[00:52:13]>> And they just for months they danced.

[00:52:16]>> No air conditioner.

[00:52:17]>> Yeah. I think they were just kind of sick of being so rigid and they were starving and desperate and probably they were everyone was just praying to Jesus for the harvest and they were going, "Look, I don't know. Maybe I love Jesus, but the kids is busy."

[00:52:30]>> Yeah. Can we find one person who can figure out how to [ __ ] make corn or something?

[00:52:35]>> Yeah. Something.

[00:52:36]>> Can we just Can somebody bake a croissant?

[00:52:38]>> Yeah. I don't know. Like listen, I know a lot of people look at history a certain way, but maybe there was no Jews there to help these people with their taxes. I don't know what's going on.

[00:52:48]This is how sometimes I think multiculturalism is good, right?

[00:52:51]>> Because you get different people who are good at different things. Maybe there was just genetic inbreeding. Maybe they were all Germanic inbredads. I don't [ __ ] know. Oh, you got to marry a Puerto Rican so your baby has a healthy immune system. That's just what it is.

[00:53:02]My babies are healthy.

[00:53:04]>> Yeah. Yeah. Now, now here's my question is we're coming into the end of the episode. We got to do the patron names.

[00:53:09]I have to take what I'd be describing as an emergency [ __ ] I'm crowning. Do I keep it in? And do I do I do I fight for something? Do I have something to play for? Or do we stop that and I take a [ __ ] You stop that and take a [ __ ] >> You don't think it'd be funny if I we got something to play for?

[00:53:23]>> Let's do Let's do You want to do that?

[00:53:24]>> You want to do something to play? You get me that pencil that I dropped because if I get up I will [ __ ] my pants.

[00:53:29]>> Yeah. Thank you, Nick.

[00:53:30]>> Yeah, let's do a high stakes.

[00:53:31]>> Yeah, I got to do high stakes because Yeah, you actually like you could [ __ ] your pants.

[00:53:35]>> 100%. Could you? Now, we only got two pages, Jesse.

[00:53:37]>> Two in reserve right there.

[00:53:38]>> Oh, we got two in reserve. Okay, so now here's what we got to do, guys, is we're going to have to move through this a little quickly cuz I I am crowning. I do have what I what I describe as an emergency. We have an all hands- on deck [ __ ] And it's one of those situations where the bathroom that we share here, there's always typically around this time a a pretty girl that takes a massive [ __ ] So, if she's taking a massive [ __ ] in there, I'm just going to have to open the door and [ __ ] in her lap. Um, so here we go. Welcome to the patreon.com/hisenus.

[00:54:05]Welcome to our newest members, Marvel Malang, Kalbus Kaboom Kebabs. Then we got Egyptian Kid Living in Canada aka Ice Cold Sand Monkey. Put him on the list. Ice Cold Sand Monkey is nice.

[00:54:17]>> A kid who's just cold up there. Then we got Diddy aka $3 Bill Cosby. Um, Brian Donaldson, Shane, Italian kid in Bensonhurst. Call me the ran survivor.

[00:54:29]Put him on the list. Put him on the list.

[00:54:33]>> That's very inside. We will explain it to you in the final round. Angelo, Joey Delesandro. Then we got uh, Call Me Shaggy the way I'll wait.

[00:54:45]Call me Shaggy the way I Scooby glue.

[00:54:49]>> Scooby glue.

[00:54:50]>> Scooby glue. Like Scooby glue. Uh, >> he could have just been Scooby-Doo. Got it. So, I'm gonna chicken finger him.

[00:54:55]All right. Yeah. It's a good one, though. Took a blue chew and my glue gun won't stop saluting. Send help.

[00:55:00]>> That's a Drexler.

[00:55:01]>> It's a Drexler. Yeah.

[00:55:02]>> Yeah. Good one.

[00:55:03]>> Christian Whirling, Rusty Blanchard, Preston Glad, Candy Yams with no ham candle. Cutie Matt. Okay. Slowly 13.

[00:55:12]Nicholas Stefanus FIFi faux f tucked back shooting rope in my bum.

[00:55:18]>> Put him on the list. Wow. You know you know that he's putting it through his legs and he's shooting his own glue in his [ __ ] >> Very funny.

[00:55:24]>> Logan Kendall.

[00:55:26]>> I can't believe I ripped my shirt off on the potty. That's Tank.

[00:55:29]>> That's Tank.

[00:55:30]>> Yeah. Welcome Tank.

[00:55:31]>> Then we got Freddy Got fingered. Cody Ndor Mora Donady Chinese minor >> you got it's a walked in one take >> yeah the Chinese biter oh [ __ ] that is really bad >> uh frisbee >> good listen the the inventiveness that they go to to slip one past you is impressive impressive >> it's very impressive that's for the end of the year Tony >> yeah walked in and one then we got frisbee connoisseur um kid likes juice.

[00:56:04]>> Yeah. Liam Schler, Mike Piro, Edgar Allan, Choad, um James Nasser, Tutty's toenail clipper, Eric Kishell, Matt Loretti, Chris's Gay, >> Mhm.

[00:56:17]>> Chrissy the Bunion, Warlord Con.

[00:56:20]>> Uh, chicken figure. Eat the rich then eat my ass.

[00:56:24]>> Chicken Figure.

[00:56:25]>> Frank, how you doing? Keep it moving.

[00:56:27]>> Eat my rich and eat my is a really strong chicken figure.

[00:56:31]>> Yeah. Hunter Biden's crackpipe.

[00:56:33]>> Uh, you know what? Chicken finger. Yeah.

[00:56:35]I mean, you know, >> we haven't had that.

[00:56:37]>> Yeah.

[00:56:38]>> She made her Leroy [ __ ] disappear in her bikini. Call her Harriet Houdini.

[00:56:42]>> Put them on the list.

[00:56:43]>> Just what it is.

[00:56:43]>> Put them on the list. Yes.

[00:56:46]>> Yes.

[00:56:47]>> Uh, Matthew Bloom, Jake Barge, I hold my pride parades on January 6th. Put them on the list.

[00:56:53]>> Yes. Just one week.

[00:56:55]>> Sorry about that.

[00:56:56]>> God, it's just funny.

[00:56:57]>> Yeah. Melissa, uh, Jo. Then we got Josephine and the Leroy Runners.

[00:57:04]>> Guess Josephine Trace Black Eyes.

[00:57:06]Josephine and the Leroy Runners.

[00:57:07]>> Right. Right. Right. Right. Okay.

[00:57:09]>> Walked into one.

[00:57:10]>> Forgotten genocide monkey from Glendale, California with a back hairy enough to rival that of your worst Jew.

[00:57:16]>> So probably an Armenian kid or something like that.

[00:57:19]>> Matt Hayes Gibson Butler match. Then we got >> forgotten genocide monkey is very funny.

[00:57:23]>> Very funny.

[00:57:24]>> Yeah.

[00:57:24]>> Then we got it's coffee Leroy or go [ __ ] your mother.

[00:57:28]Check a figure. Uh Chrissy likes some big big big.

[00:57:31]>> Uhhuh.

[00:57:32]>> Sudsy soap bum keigull. Am I training offense or defense?

[00:57:37]>> Um I I knew what he was going for.

[00:57:40]>> Yeah. Call me AOC cuz I'm all out of come.

[00:57:44]>> Put him on the list.

[00:57:45]>> Yeah. Okay.

[00:57:46]>> Put him on the list.

[00:57:47]>> What is he put on the list?

[00:57:48]>> Yeah.

[00:57:49]>> Put him on the list.

[00:57:50]>> Michelle T. Garden. Melissa Ross. Uh Yanni's palms are sweaty, knees weak, balls are heavy. There's come on his sweater already. Lady boy confetti.

[00:57:59]>> Put him on the list.

[00:58:00]>> Put them on the list.

[00:58:02]>> Put them on the list.

[00:58:04]>> Wow. Very dense today. Very dense with We're not going to need the two reserve pages >> cuz this is dense with Yuma.

[00:58:11]>> We got Yuma.

[00:58:11]>> We got a lot of Yuma.

[00:58:13]>> Alex Hemill. Yanni's eyes are closer than the cousins that made them.

[00:58:16]>> Put them on the list. Just one.

[00:58:18]>> Holy [ __ ] These are cousins. They really came out. This is a Yuma. This is a Yuma. Bukaki. This is a [ __ ] Yuma.

[00:58:25]>> Yeah. Irving Apodaka. Ivan.

[00:58:28]>> Wait, wait, wait. Go back.

[00:58:29]>> Irving Apodaka.

[00:58:30]>> Okay.

[00:58:31]>> Ivan. I think that's just kid real name.

[00:58:33]Yeah. Then we got Tim Dylan made my glue gun green for St. Patty's Day. #isgaria.

[00:58:43]Drexler. We can't disparage, but it's very funny. I mean, it's very funny.

[00:58:47]Drexler.

[00:58:48]>> Jerry Rice adopted a Chinese baby and named him chicken fried rice.

[00:58:53]>> Ladder of 14.

[00:58:57]What do we do with that?

[00:58:59]>> What do we do with that? On the list.

[00:59:01]>> We're put them on the list. Put him on the list.

[00:59:02]>> Dude, this is the This is the best list we've had over both Reichkes. Yeah, it might be.

[00:59:08]>> This is the best list of all time.

[00:59:09]>> I've still got about 30 more names, >> dude. This is the best list ever. Okay.

[00:59:14]Then we got walked INTO ONE >> CHICKEN FIGURE. I MEAN, DUDE, IT'S A NON-STOP [ __ ] >> YEAH. RICKY BOSE, Logan Vagner. Then we got a labbotomy and filled it with glue.

[00:59:23]Now I commit sodomy and listen to you.

[00:59:26]He blew he glued in his own.

[00:59:29]>> I mean we dude WE GOT TO STOP. IT'S A [ __ ] AVALANCHE.

[00:59:32]>> John caller deilio pseudo manudo. Then we got I am schizophrenic. No you're not. Yes I am.

[00:59:38]>> PUT HIM ON THE LIST. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

[00:59:40]>> YEAH IT'S JUST what it is.

[00:59:42]>> Holy [ __ ] >> Dude. This is crazy.

[00:59:44]>> This is crazy. Jartman 76. Magic maniac.

[00:59:48]Thomas Schroeder. Drea Jesus shrouded cockprint turn me Catholic. Um, >> yeah.

[00:59:54]>> What do I do? Traxxler.

[00:59:56]>> Yeah, actually it's Jesus's shrouded cockprint. Terrindi Catholic.

[01:00:00]>> I mean, what do I do?

[01:00:02]>> I don't know.

[01:00:02]>> Put on the list.

[01:00:04]>> A good one.

[01:00:04]>> It's a good one. John Alight's pinky ring chicken figure. Brad Morgan, William Brcelin, Anthony Slottman, Miles Rubisoff, Disc Golf Champion, The Way I Want to Put Frisbes in Chains.

[01:00:17]>> I can't She ain't >> Tony, take note.

[01:00:19]>> Then we got Caucasian Debris. Um, okay.

[01:00:22]Top shelf. Zaza disrupted my circadian rhythm. Kate Kelly. Chrissy can't make Josephine come. Uh, >> yeah.

[01:00:31]>> 14.

[01:00:31]>> Small piece, but still too big to fit between Giannis's eyes.

[01:00:35]>> Put him on the list.

[01:00:35]>> Yeah, it's just what it is.

[01:00:38]>> Called eyes on myself so I could skip the line at TSA.

[01:00:43]>> Yeah.

[01:00:43]>> Okay. It was a good try. Paul Marshall, Richie, Adam Fredenberg, uh Caesar Chavez, Student Union, Luca Faithful, Timothy Mjo, USA Kid, Red Coat Dad, You Tell Me When, um Blake Daniel, Gaze of Hormuz, Nick Williams, Balls Like Shaquille with a piece like O'Neal, uh >> took so many peptides, my nephew calls me gunk, and Ryan J. So, we got a lot we got a lot of people on this list. You think this is the strongest list of all time?

[01:01:13]>> Of all time. There's no question about that. There's no question about that.

[01:01:15]I've never experienced a list. And I just want to keep talking. Maybe you [ __ ] yourself. So that's also fun >> cuz I know you want to carry it up. But isn't it funny that on the list where he wanted it to go quick it ended up being the longest list of all time?

[01:01:28]>> I mean that just lets you know the simulators got has a sense of humor cuz you're like I got to take a [ __ ] They got humor. They just gave us the best list of all time when you happen to maybe [ __ ] your pants.

[01:01:39]>> So here we go.

[01:01:39]>> And I've never done a list. I swear to God. I've never We've never had a list where I was actually hoping that there weren't any funny ones more. Yeah. Like cuz we had enough. I've never had that feeling where I was like hopefully there's no more cuz it' be too hard.

[01:01:50]>> Too hard. Here we go. So, we got Egyptian Kid Living in Canada aka Ice Cold Sand Monkey.

[01:01:55]>> Right off the bat. We know we're going to drag that. I mean, it's just >> great. But yeah, wrong era.

[01:02:01]>> Then we got Italian kid in Bensonhurst.

[01:02:02]Call me the ran survivor.

[01:02:04]>> We got to keep that around.

[01:02:05]>> Just keep it around.

[01:02:06]>> Good word play. And the reason why that that's impressive is because uh uh Bensonhurst has become a mostly Asian neighborhood, >> right?

[01:02:12]>> Where it used to be Italian, right?

[01:02:13]>> Then we got Fifi faux f tuck back shooting rope in my bum.

[01:02:17]>> We're going to we're going to Drexler it.

[01:02:19]>> Okay.

[01:02:19]>> Any other day wrong era.

[01:02:21]>> Okay.

[01:02:22]>> Clyde Drexler.

[01:02:23]>> Then we got she made her Leroy [ __ ] disappear in her bikini. Call her Harriet Houdini.

[01:02:27]>> We got to keep that around.

[01:02:27]>> We just have to just Harriet. Yeah, we just got to keep it around.

[01:02:31]>> I hold my pride parade on January 6th.

[01:02:34]We're going to we're That is Borderline walked into one, but it's a really good one. We're going to We're going to Drexler.

[01:02:39]>> We're Drexler. Okay. Then we got Call Me AOC cuz I'm out of I'm all out of come.

[01:02:44]>> We're going to chicken finger. Yeah. All out of [ __ ] is very inventive though and very funny.

[01:02:48]>> Very good.

[01:02:49]>> Then we got Giannis' palms are sweaty, knees weak, balls are heavy, there's come on his sweater already. Lady Boy Confetti.

[01:02:55]>> We got to keep that around.

[01:02:55]>> Lady Boy Confetti is very funny.

[01:02:57]>> We just got to keep it around.

[01:02:58]>> Yeah.

[01:02:59]>> Giannis' eyes are closer than the cousins that made them.

[01:03:01]>> We got to keep it around.

[01:03:02]>> That's just what it is. Got to keep it around.

[01:03:04]>> Jerry Rice adopted a Chinese baby and named him chicken fries.

[01:03:07]>> You got to keep it around.

[01:03:08]>> Yes. Nothing we could do.

[01:03:09]>> Nothing we could do with that.

[01:03:09]>> Then we got a labbotomy and filled it with glue. Now I commit sodomy and listen to you.

[01:03:14]>> We're going to we're going to drex through that.

[01:03:15]>> Okay.

[01:03:16]>> Uh then we got I am schizophrenic. No, you're not. Not. Yes, I Oh, wait. I'm sorry. I'm schizophrenic. No, you're not. Yes, I am.

[01:03:23]>> We got to keep that around. It's so inventive.

[01:03:25]>> Yeah. Then we got Jesus shrouded cockprint tin me Catholic.

[01:03:29]>> That's so good. I mean, it's so good.

[01:03:32]Keep it around.

[01:03:35]>> Then we got small piece, but still not big enough to fit between Yiannis's eyes >> with the other one is better. That's the problem. That's the problem. Yeah. Okay, we're narrowing it down.

[01:03:44]>> One, two, three, four, five, six. We still have seven.

[01:03:47]>> Jesus Christ.

[01:03:48]>> All right, I All right, I'll go back from the beginning. Italian kid in Bensonhurst call me the rone survivor.

[01:03:54]>> So good. Got to keep it.

[01:03:55]>> Is it a little inside's the only weakness? But that's not it's it's not his fault. It's not his fault, but if it has a weakness, I don't know. The Ran Survivor Survivor is funny.

[01:04:07]>> What do you think?

[01:04:09]>> Well, I think we compare that to the Jerry Rice one. We got two Asian jokes.

[01:04:12]If you had to just do like a bracket, right?

[01:04:14]>> What are you doing? You taking out the Jerry Rice one or you taking >> We're taking out that one.

[01:04:17]>> We're taking out R Survivor. All right.

[01:04:20]It's very unfortunate.

[01:04:21]>> We have to do this. This gets hard. She made her Leroy [ __ ] disappear in her bikini. Call her Harriet Houdini. That one for me has got to stick around.

[01:04:28]>> It's got to stick around. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:04:30]Giannis's palms are sweaty, knees weak, balls are heavy. There's come on already. Okay. Sticking around.

[01:04:34]>> Giannis's eyes are closer than the cousins that made them.

[01:04:37]>> That's got to stick around. I mean, that's probably the best.

[01:04:40]>> All right. Well, let's do the bracket again. Two Giannis ones. Which one?

[01:04:42]>> Well, we've got rid of the other Giannis one.

[01:04:44]>> No, we have two. We have two Giannis ones because we have Giannis's palms are sweating. Knees weak. Balls are heavy.

[01:04:48]There's come on sweater already. Lady boy confetti.

[01:04:50]>> Yeah, but that's not an eye joke.

[01:04:52]>> But there are two Giannis ones because then Giannis's eyes are closer than the cousins have made them, which I think is extremely inventive. That's the best joke cuz we have to make hard cuts here.

[01:05:01]>> I know. I mean, the best joke that's ever been made about my eyes.

[01:05:05]>> So then that lady boy confetti's probably got to go then cuz that's not going to beat that.

[01:05:09]>> But what's funnier than lady boy confetti?

[01:05:12]>> I don't know.

[01:05:12]>> What's funnier than that?

[01:05:13]>> But it might >> What's funnier than that?

[01:05:14]>> But it might But okay, but let's go back to your to the rules that we go by. If it was just lady boy confetti, that would be good enough.

[01:05:21]>> Keep them both around for a second.

[01:05:23]Let's see what else is there.

[01:05:24]>> Jerry Ra Jerry Rice adopted a Chinese baby. You got to keep that one. Uh, then we got I am schizophrenic. No, you're not. Yes, I am.

[01:05:31]>> Okay, that one is so good. I Dude, I Dude, I'm I I I'm not doing THIS IS LIKE SOPHIE'S CHOICE.

[01:05:37]>> I'M NOT KILLING all of my babies.

[01:05:38]>> She's a shrouded cockp print Catholic can go.

[01:05:40]>> We can get rid of that one, but only because it's such a strong list. But that could have been a winner.

[01:05:44]>> That could have been a winner. So then we got she made her Leroy [ __ ] disappear in her bikini. Call her Harriet Houdini.

[01:05:50]>> Now that you guys aren't having a strong re that is very funny black man. It's very funny and and again any other list, but I do think cuz we really got to be real. We really got to be picky now. I think that should go.

[01:06:03]>> Okay.

[01:06:04]>> So, I think it's really we're down to really four ones that are really difficult.

[01:06:08]>> Can you Can you imagine? We're down to four. Yeah.

[01:06:10]>> This is the [ __ ] best list of all time.

[01:06:12]>> Then we got Giannis' palms are sweaty, knees weak, balls are heavy, there's come on his sweater already, Lady Boy Confetti, Yanni's eyes are closer than the cousins that made them.

[01:06:20]>> Too good.

[01:06:21]>> Jerry Rice adopted a Chinese baby and named him chicken fried rice. or I am schizophrenic. No, you're not. Yes, I am.

[01:06:27]>> Dude, do >> do we have Do we have to >> I think this goes to the fans, man. I think it really does >> I think we should whittle it down to two though.

[01:06:34]>> How do you whittle that down?

[01:06:36]>> How do you whittle that down?

[01:06:37]>> You got to get like really particular like like I agree with Jesse. It's you have to lose one. And I personally think the lady boy confetti's got to go because Giannis's eyes are closer than the cousins that made them is really a layered very very good joke and it's really difficult. We've had so many close Yanni Eye jokes.

[01:06:55]>> Okay, so here's what we're going to do, though. Here's what we're going to do.

[01:06:58]>> Yeah, >> here's what we're going to do. There's no way we're letting There's no way Lady Boy Confetti is getting out of here without a without some sort of prize.

[01:07:06]Okay, cuz if you're jerking off the trans, you call your glue Lady Boy Confetti. And so what? Welcome to the Lexicon. What I'm going to do, Tony, can you take Lady Boy Confetti and put it on the Lexicon on our website? Because now that is what you call your glue if you're watching Transport. It's lady boy confetti.

[01:07:23]>> That's the definition.

[01:07:24]>> And if a lady if you if the lady boy comes, it's lady boy confetti. And that's just what it is.

[01:07:30]>> And it won't. And if you get some on your sweater, you have lady boy confetti on your sweater.

[01:07:33]>> Lady boy confetti. You're you've you've made it into the lexicon, but you didn't win this one. That's what it is.

[01:07:37]>> So you got a prize.

[01:07:38]>> So it's really between Yanni's eyes are closer than the cousins that made them.

[01:07:42]Jerry Rice adopted a Chinese baby and named him chicken fried rice. Or I am schizophrenic. No, you're not. Yes, I am. Okay, those are the three that should I mean but should we whittle it down to two so the phones fans can just pick which one?

[01:07:54]>> Okay, so you have you have schizophrenic. No, you're not. Yes, I am. Not as laugh out loud funny, >> but extremely inventive, right?

[01:08:02]>> So, we're going to chicken and finger that.

[01:08:04]>> Okay. Okay. So, here's your choices at patreon.com/historyhyenas.

[01:08:08]That's where you get involved. That's where you become a part of the show. Not only do we have bonus content and extra stuff like that, but you get to vote.

[01:08:15]You get to vote on who the winner of the week is. This is the toughest list we've had in the past eight years. So go to patreon.com/hisan is and cast your vote for Yanni's eyes are closer than the cousins that made them or Jerry Rice adopted a Chinese baby and named him chicken fried rice.

[01:08:33]>> I bet you I guarantee you this one's going to be split down the middle. We may have to do like something else and the wives do something.

[01:08:40]>> All right, episode continues at patreon.com/historyhyenas.

[01:08:44]ad free and fun pun.