FILMMAKER REACTS Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 7 Episode 9: The Table Read

[00:00:00]What the hell is he doing? Oh my god.

[00:00:05]Hey yo.

[00:00:08]Oh no. Stop the read. Yo yo yo. What is up everybody? Welcome back as we continue with more of Curb Your Enthusiasm season 7 episode 9. This one's titled Table Reed. We're going to be clocking out season 7 today. Okay, so if you're on the Patreon, season 7 is closing within these next couple of episodes that we're going to be doing back to back, but I'm very excited for more Kirby enthusiasm because there happens to be more seasons. So, I'm very excited for that. I hope that you guys are too. Again, if you want to be able to support, best way to do it is by checking out the Patreon. You can also support by leaving a like, comment, subscribe, and at the end of the day, you don't have to do any of those things. Just sit back, relax, get your popcorn and snacks as we continue with more. Curb your enthusiasm.

[00:00:50]>> Exactly the same. I mean, >> my gosh, it's like going back in time or never leaving the past or something.

[00:01:00]>> Never leaving the past. Yeah, that that sounds about right.

[00:01:03]>> What has she done?

[00:01:06]>> You know, uh I don't know. She's She's done some stuff. Yeah, she's done some stuff. You know, all that good stuff.

[00:01:15]>> Do you want to give him a hug?

[00:01:17]>> Yeah, sure. She's been dying to meet.

[00:01:18]>> Really?

[00:01:20]>> Okay.

[00:01:20]>> All right. Nice to meet you.

[00:01:21]>> Go get something to eat. Okay, sweetie.

[00:01:23]I'll see you in a minute.

[00:01:24]>> What's happening to Kramer, bro? Kramer is just in dismay.

[00:01:28]>> Emma to the doctor.

[00:01:29]>> Oh, really?

[00:01:30]>> Mhm.

[00:01:31]>> Oh, is she okay?

[00:01:32]>> Yeah, she just has a rash on her [ __ ] >> Huh?

[00:01:36]>> Uh, >> I'm going to get the >> I was um Why? Why would you tell me that?

[00:01:44]>> This is very strong.

[00:01:45]>> Why would you just tell me that? That is so that is Dude, that would take me out, bro. Oh my god. What the hell?

[00:01:55]>> It says Jason Alexander. It doesn't say George Castanza.

[00:01:59]>> I understand. Yeah. I just surprised. I didn't I didn't realize Cheryl was there. Was going to do the role.

[00:02:05]>> Oh my god. His passive ass. This is so annoying, bro. He's always doing this.

[00:02:11]>> You reversed it.

[00:02:11]>> I did. Look what I did. Look what you did.

[00:02:13]>> Look what I did. Yeah.

[00:02:14]>> Well, fortunately, it all worked out for the best.

[00:02:17]>> Yeah.

[00:02:18]>> All right. All right. Let's uh >> Hey, yo, the aura was tense within that.

[00:02:27]>> Want to just take a few notes.

[00:02:29]>> Yeah.

[00:02:29]>> Oh. Oh, very nice. Look at this.

[00:02:32]>> Look at you.

[00:02:32]>> Yeah. You can return it.

[00:02:34]>> He's not going to return it. He's not going to return it.

[00:02:37]>> You're going to be fine. I'll have Dubstein call you. All right. Great.

[00:02:40]Okay. All right.

[00:02:46]Look at this. Hey yo, look at this dude.

[00:02:50]Bro, how do you even get in here?

[00:02:52]>> L big day.

[00:02:55]>> What are you doing?

[00:02:56]>> That's crazy. Oh my god. Look at him. He got a full plate.

[00:03:02]>> Hey. Um, this friend of mine showed up.

[00:03:06]I didn't invite him. I just He shouldn't be here.

[00:03:09]>> I don't care. The jury's like, "I don't give a [ __ ] dude."

[00:03:16]>> Right.

[00:03:16]>> Well, yeah, but I I didn't invite him to the rethrow. And we have a policy.

[00:03:20]>> Policy? What kind of policy?

[00:03:21]>> Yeah, we have a policy.

[00:03:22]>> I never saw a Jerry's like, "Dude, what the hell are you talking about?"

[00:03:27]>> No, you No. Stand in the way. I want you to stand in the way.

[00:03:29]>> I couldn't do it. Stand in the way.

[00:03:31]>> I would feel horrible.

[00:03:32]>> No, don't.

[00:03:35]>> These guys are hilarious, bro. These guys are hilarious, man. I love him.

[00:03:41]>> He doesn't want to hear a joke. We got a read through.

[00:03:43]>> Yeah, we got >> Let me just get right through it.

[00:03:44]>> Okay.

[00:03:45]>> A woman's very afraid of the size of her opening.

[00:03:47]>> What is she afraid of?

[00:03:48]>> The size of her opening.

[00:03:51]>> Holy [ __ ] >> The only reason I'm not here now, darling, is I'm at work to make enough money to buy you a house, a picket fence. We'll have dogs and children.

[00:03:59]>> Oh, this is not so bad.

[00:04:00]>> Oh, yeah. This is great. We >> in your arms your loving husband, Harry.

[00:04:08]>> That's nice. PS, your [ __ ] is in the sink.

[00:04:14]>> Okay, you >> Larry was like, "Man, I hate you. I hate you."

[00:04:20]>> That revoling.

[00:04:21]>> Ladies and gentlemen, please hold the word.

[00:04:22]>> Cracked ass joke. Oh my god. The way that he just he just busted that out with a full plate in his hand.

[00:04:30]>> Why'd you have to give that crook mate off all of it?

[00:04:32]>> I DON'T KNOW. HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID?

[00:04:36]>> All of it, Jerry. I almost forgot to talk.

[00:04:41]I'm >> having a good time with this.

[00:04:42]>> We're in Jerry's apartment. It's later.

[00:04:45]Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer.

[00:04:47]>> Okay, Jared, can you do me a favor and babysit for me tonight?

[00:04:49]>> Oh, I don't think so. Why don't you ask me?

[00:04:52]>> Yo, what is he doing to that pen? Oh my god. What the What the hell is he doing?

[00:05:00]Oh my god.

[00:05:02]Hey yo.

[00:05:05]Oh no. Stop the read.

[00:05:09]>> I bumped into maid off on the street one day and he was wearing this quilted jacket with the collar up and for some reason it creeped me out.

[00:05:17]>> Oh, look at Larry. He's so happy. He's so proud. Let's go, man. Oh, that's great.

[00:05:23]>> YOU HAVE MY MONEY.

[00:05:24]>> NOT according to the laws of the state of New York.

[00:05:31]>> Oh, that's great. That's great.

[00:05:35]In case it doesn't work out, you won't be able to get to the money that was yours to begin with. Well, that's another Ponzi scheme.

[00:05:42]>> So, George, are you married?

[00:05:44]>> Dude, Larry is disgusted. He is horrified. I would be too. This is crazy.

[00:05:50]>> And brings it TO HIS NOSE.

[00:05:51]>> NO.

[00:05:52]>> AS THEY REACH FOR GEORGE, THE shot freezes and we fade out.

[00:05:57]>> Nice. Nice.

[00:05:59]>> Look at Larry. He is in disbelief. So much has happened. He learned about a little child and the unfortunate tales of her side effects.

[00:06:09]He got the freaking pen incident. He got freaking He got freaking um um uh >> Well, have fun.

[00:06:17]>> What What the hell is his name?

[00:06:19]>> Sure.

[00:06:20]>> Uh Super Dave to deal with. I couldn't remember his name in the actual show.

[00:06:25]Funkhouser.

[00:06:26]>> I'll tell you what you can do.

[00:06:27]>> I'm here to serve you. What can I do?

[00:06:29]>> Why don't you get me a new pen? That would be nice. That's the fair thing to do. That's the nice thing to do. That's the right thing to do.

[00:06:35]>> There you go. Let him know.

[00:06:37]>> Send that gremlin that minion to go get yourself another pen.

[00:06:41]>> Any Danny Duberstein?

[00:06:43]>> Yeah, Danny Duberstein.

[00:06:44]>> Do you know how to get how to get in touch with him?

[00:06:47]>> Nobody can get in touch with him.

[00:06:49]>> He died like two months ago.

[00:06:51]>> Oh. Oh, no. Was it to to gros? Oh, wow.

[00:06:57]>> No big deal.

[00:06:58]>> Well, then putting it in his mouth then then his ear. I mean, the whole thing was was disgusting.

[00:07:04]>> You don't loan Jason anything.

[00:07:09]>> Oh, yikes.

[00:07:11]>> That sounds like there was like >> like like a past relation to that incident.

[00:07:17]>> That blue liquid that the barber shop.

[00:07:19]Yeah, the barber shop. Yeah.

[00:07:20]>> I don't remember they figured out what barberide was.

[00:07:22]>> They killed themselves.

[00:07:23]>> Is that why they kill They can't take being a barber.

[00:07:25]>> They drink the blue liquid.

[00:07:30]>> Barbara side. That's hilarious, bro.

[00:07:33]>> It is cute.

[00:07:34]>> Someone to communicate with.

[00:07:35]>> Maybe you should give it to Jerry's.

[00:07:37]>> Oh, maybe if she meets Jerry. But she really bonded with you.

[00:07:40]>> Yeah, she s >> He's trying to pass her off to someone else.

[00:07:47]>> Cool. All right.

[00:07:48]>> All right. How's their uh how's our [ __ ] by the way?

[00:07:52]>> Uh it's good, actually. This >> Look at Jerry. Look at Jerry. Jerry, he's like, "What the fuck?" Come on.

[00:08:00]Let's do some work here. Let's look at um Oh, forgot to tell the rest.

[00:08:05]>> This man just is continuing with his day as if nothing was just said. Jerry was like, "Yo, what the [ __ ] man?"

[00:08:12]>> I think I continue.

[00:08:14]He was fortunate to discover the crystals in the Fortress of Solitude.

[00:08:18]Isabelle's not going to have any of those.

[00:08:19]>> Is that Eric Andre? What the [ __ ] man?

[00:08:22]Eric Andre.

[00:08:25]Yo.

[00:08:26]>> All right. Are you good? You good? Okay, guys. Take five. That's a tight five.

[00:08:29]We're back in Jerry's apartment.

[00:08:31]>> All right.

[00:08:31]>> Hey, Larry.

[00:08:33]>> Did you call Duberstein?

[00:08:35]>> Oh, boy.

[00:08:36]>> Yikes.

[00:08:38]>> Oh, boy. Yeah, about that.

[00:08:40]>> You're doing great. I >> feel like you're my only, you know.

[00:08:44]>> Yeah.

[00:08:45]>> On my side. Do you know what I mean?

[00:08:46]>> I am on your side.

[00:08:48]>> Morning. Good morning.

[00:08:49]>> Hi.

[00:08:49]>> This man's just standing there. Good morning. Good morning.

[00:08:53]>> And you said you need to replace the pen. It's not an eye for a lesser eye.

[00:08:58]Okay. It's an eye for an eye, not an eye that doesn't.

[00:09:02][Laughter] >> He has a point.

[00:09:05]>> Replace it.

[00:09:06]>> You got a pen?

[00:09:07]>> No replacement.

[00:09:07]>> That's your pen.

[00:09:10]I'm going to get a coffee.

[00:09:14]>> Anyway, I >> Hey yo, they be beefing, man. They be straight up beefing. Hey, what's good, JB?

[00:09:20]>> Present yourself as Dubriststein somehow and you know, get just meet them for two minutes and I'd be there, too. So, you you wouldn't even have to talk. You think I can't do this [ __ ] >> Okay.

[00:09:29]>> He's always down. He's always down, bro.

[00:09:32]This is This is Larry's dog, bro. This is This is This is homie.

[00:09:36]>> [ __ ] white people.

[00:09:38]>> I'll do this [ __ ] Larry, >> let me hear it.

[00:09:39]>> I'm up in that [ __ ] Hey, how you how you doing today? I'm Danny Duberstein. I heard you have gross disease. See that [ __ ] >> What about the name?

[00:09:46]>> I'm Danny Duberstein. I heard you have gross disease.

[00:09:50]>> Say that again.

[00:09:51]>> Bar misfit.

[00:09:52]>> It's not bar mitzv.

[00:09:53]>> Bar misfit.

[00:09:54]>> BAR MITZV.

[00:09:55]>> BAR MISFIT. FUD. BAR MITZV. IF WE'RE GOING TO DO THIS, YOU better >> bar mitzv.

[00:10:02]Bar mitzv.

[00:10:04]>> He's over here saying bar mitzv. You gonna get that?

[00:10:07]>> Oh yeah.

[00:10:07]>> Huh? Oh yeah.

[00:10:09]>> Oh yeah.

[00:10:10]>> Mr. Davidid, >> how are you? Wonderful to see you.

[00:10:14]Abento.

[00:10:14]>> Okay.

[00:10:15]>> He just took his 20. He just robbed his 20, my guy. Hey yo, stop that man.

[00:10:23]>> HE TOOK MY $20. ARE YOU KIDDING?

[00:10:26]>> HE TOOK THE [ __ ] MONEY OUT YOUR HAND.

[00:10:27]YOU DIDN'T say [ __ ] >> WHAT DO YOU THINK? I WAS TIPPING HIM. Is he insane?

[00:10:32]>> Man, it's not even in the office >> place. All right, that's it. That's it.

[00:10:38]No, I don't watch Wizards of >> Oh god. Don't go off on the child. Don't Don't go off on the child, man. Oh, man.

[00:10:50]>> Well, that that's not yelling.

[00:10:51]>> Yes, it is.

[00:10:51]>> No, I was being emphatic. I wasn't yelling. What were you thinking?

[00:10:55]>> I was thinking maybe I can get her to stop texting.

[00:11:02]>> Yikes.

[00:11:03]>> 1:00. I want you to be there. Pretend like it was your idea. Okay. You're taking us to lunch. I think it would be really nice if you took her out to lunch. You'll bring her a little present.

[00:11:10]>> We have to go to lunch.

[00:11:11]>> Yeah. 1:00 lunch. Okay.

[00:11:12]>> Damn. Damn. Just a 1:00 lunch forced upon your day for something that you could have easily prevented.

[00:11:20]>> Very feat. Are you in a regime?

[00:11:22]>> Oh, no. I just kind of watch it, you know.

[00:11:24]>> Always wonderful. Bonit.

[00:11:26]>> Thank you. Thank you.

[00:11:28][Laughter] >> He shook his other hand. Bro, >> I see your problem here.

[00:11:38]>> Yesterday at the news stand, you took $20 out of my hand, >> man. No, you gave it to me.

[00:11:44]>> Gave it to you.

[00:11:45]>> Wait, brother. I did not give you I didn't give you [ __ ] man.

[00:11:50]>> Hey. Hi, >> Larry.

[00:11:53]>> Hi.

[00:11:56]Okay, first of all, >> yo, she hates you. You got a kid to hate you. That's a shame, man.

[00:12:04]>> Do you remember when you were a little boy?

[00:12:06]>> If you can remember, do >> No, I don't.

[00:12:08]>> You probably don't.

[00:12:09]>> Hey, excuse me. Excuse me, sir.

[00:12:13]>> Damn. They are ignoring his table now.

[00:12:16]Yikes.

[00:12:17]>> Excuse me. Could you please get us some menus over here? This little girl, she's got an appointment with the doctor.

[00:12:22]She's got a a rash on her [ __ ] She needs to get out of here.

[00:12:26]>> Yo, he is blitzing everybody with that information. Holy crap. Look at this.

[00:12:32]>> Dude, this episode is crazy.

[00:12:34]>> Don't hurt me, please. Oh. Oh, no. No, no, no. I'm Danny Dubenstein.

[00:12:38]>> Look at what he has on his head. Bro, >> looking at your >> I have to be out of here by 2:00.

[00:12:44]>> Is there anything else that Larry could do? Something that Emma likes?

[00:12:49]Princense, >> want some money? Huh? You want some money?

[00:12:54]>> Somebody gave this to me and I'm giving it to you.

[00:12:56]>> It's a nice pen.

[00:12:57]>> It's a beautiful pen. Huh?

[00:13:00]>> Yeah. I forgive you.

[00:13:02]>> Oh, there you go. Hey, don't ask where that pen's been.

[00:13:06]>> You know, when you're 13 years old.

[00:13:08]>> No, no, no, no, no. You misunderstood.

[00:13:09]>> What?

[00:13:09]>> It's once every 13 years. You know, you got to recharge the mitzvah.

[00:13:14]>> Got to recharge the mitzvah. Exactly.

[00:13:17]Tell me about the gross.

[00:13:19]>> Um, >> well, everything I ate tasted like peaches.

[00:13:28]>> Hey yo, that is one hell of a cover up.

[00:13:31]>> Weird stuff, man.

[00:13:33]>> You telling me Danny Dubstein is good at two things. That's math and [ __ ] >> Hey, man. He's holding it down. He is holding it down.

[00:13:47]You know what?

[00:13:50]This hat >> this hat say >> Oh my god. He said this hat. This dude's going to be wearing this hat on set, man. Oh my god.

[00:14:02]>> Will survive that [ __ ] You better believe it. And he bought it. Let me tell you how [ __ ] well he bought it.

[00:14:06]He going to give me $200,000 to invest for his ass. I dare Dubstein the >> Godamn. Yo, he really did. He just birthed 200 grand for this man.

[00:14:17]>> Who are these two right here?

[00:14:20]>> Jerry Seinfeld and Julia Lou Drifus.

[00:14:24]>> You know about the >> So Jerry tapping that ass, huh?

[00:14:27]>> Yo. Hey yo, man. This guy is hilarious, bro.

[00:14:32]>> I told him to wear the hat to combat the gross.

[00:14:35]>> What did you say to him? I told him if you take that hat off, he will die.

[00:14:39]>> Yeah, he ain't ever taking a hat off.

[00:14:41]Funny how this man still lives though.

[00:14:43]>> Hair that goes up. This is the look I'm going with. So that's it.

[00:14:50]>> Oh my god.

[00:14:51]>> Is this great?

[00:14:52]>> What I said? Oh my god.

[00:14:55]This man is just inviting himself on set.

[00:14:59]>> Huge fan.

[00:15:00]>> Hi.

[00:15:01]>> Look at this Kramer.

[00:15:02]>> Mrs. Dubstein.

[00:15:04]>> Michael Richards. Good lord. I just saw your husband about 20 minutes ago.

[00:15:07]>> Larry got the out of there. Larry got the hell. You see how quick he zipped out of that seat.

[00:15:17]Larry.

[00:15:19]Larry.

[00:15:21]Larry.

[00:15:24]>> Yo, that man got the hell out of there.

[00:15:27]>> [ __ ] >> HEY, STEVE.

[00:15:29]>> YEAH. YEAH. I'M TALKING TO YOU.

[00:15:32]>> WHAT KIND OF low life are you?

[00:15:34]>> What kind of [ __ ] are you?

[00:15:35]>> Uhoh. Oh no. When When was the shot?

[00:15:39]He's about to say something crazy. He's about to say something wild.

[00:15:42]>> All right.

[00:15:42]>> WHAT'S THIS [ __ ] WITH THE HAT?

[00:15:44]>> PUT THE HAT BACK ON YOUR HEAD.

[00:15:45]>> YOU MADE A JUMP OUT OF ME.

[00:15:46]>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

[00:15:47]>> IF ONLY THERE WERE A A HORRIBLE NAME.

[00:15:51]>> This is meta as bro. Oh my god.

[00:15:57]>> Oh, you die.

[00:16:02]>> That is incredible.

[00:16:04]>> Oh, that's great. I love how they did that. Look who is in this. We saw Eric Andre. We see this dude now.

[00:16:11]>> Okay. Well, do you have any idea how you may have gotten this rash?

[00:16:14]>> You know, the only thing I can think of is I've been seeing this nine-year-old girl and and she kind of has a rash on her [ __ ] >> Oh my god, dude. That's crazy.

[00:16:24]>> Oh my god. You're going to prison, bro.

[00:16:27]You're going to prison.

[00:16:29]>> Don't tell your mother, but I bought you another >> Call the police.

[00:16:36][Laughter] Yo, yo, this show is so incredible. This show is just it's beyond it's beyond laughable, man. All right, everybody.

[00:16:50]That is the end to episode 9, season 7 of Kirby Enthusiasm. This show is just brilliant, man. Like, the writing is just so damn good. Even when it goes a little bit above its run time, it doesn't feel padded out in in the worst way. It it feels like it just gets sharper and sharper. My goodness. The after that beginning scene where he learns about what happened to this girl and just the onslaught that he just gives to other people with that information. It's just so funny. And everything else in between. Incredible, man. That whole thing with Kramer, brilliantly done. This was just such a great episode. I'm excited to get into the next one. So again, if you're on the Patreon, I'll see you all in a couple of seconds. But for everybody else, I'll see you all next week. So don't trip.

[00:17:38]Stay healthy. Stay hydrated because we are just getting started.

[00:17:42]>> Jacket pocket full of everything.

[00:17:49]Grab some matches cuz they give them free just like my time.

[00:17:55]Hair pulled back in the backseat.

[00:17:59]Fire on the