The Brutality Of HOUSE OF WAX

Added: 2026-05-18

[00:00:00]Much like most things in life, when it comes to being successful and making something for yourself, it's about being bold, creative, and being that person willing to take those big risks in life is what I would say if that were even remotely true. Instead, the safest course of action is to look at something that someone already put all of their time, energy, and mental power into and saying, "Yeah, I'll have some of that, mate." So, why would it be any different in the world of movies? I asked that question, but we all know it to be rhetorical because of course it's not.

[00:00:26]For as long as there have been successful pieces of media, there have been people willing to redo that successful piece of media for their own personal benefit. Because what's the point in making something from scratch?

[00:00:36]We already know this recipe creates a delicious chocolate cake that everybody likes to buy, so why should I even bother to make it my own? Bringing us to today's movie, 2005's House of Wax, a documentary about the place everyone gets their Brazilians done at. Being a reimagining of a 1953 film, which in itself was a reimagining of a 1933 film, which in itself was an adaptation of a 1932 story, today's movie asks the question, what are you a reimagining of?

[00:01:01]The movie begins by unearthing some repressed childhood memories of mine as we see a little boy being restrained to a high chair with straps and duct tape as was the common treatment for ADHD at the time. Well, that's and also the belt. After seeing that, it then skips ahead to the present day of 2005. Except that was actually 20 years ago and we will all soon return to the dirt. A group of friends is on a road trip across the country to see a football game as apparently they didn't have TVs in 2005 or planes apparently. The group consists of the couple Carly and Wade, another couple Paige and Blake, Carly's brother Nick with a mysterious bad boy criminal past, and his friend Dalton.

[00:01:37]And it's here that I'm reminded that this is indeed a movie from 2005 as my only 6 minutes into it, we've already heard Deftones and Disturbed on the soundtrack. Trying to save some time in order to pay to watch a bunch of sweaty men throw balls around and aggressively touch each other, they take a shortcut and head past a sign for Trudy's Wax Museum, a museum that is only accessible to people named Trudy. They find a spot to park up and camp for the night, which gives them the perfect opportunity to make like your average British teenagers and get unreasonably drunk in the woods with your friends. But while they're having this by-continental experience together, a truck suddenly arrives and rather rudely proceeds to blare its harsh lights directly into their eyes.

[00:02:15]They try talking in hopes of getting the lights turned off, but unfortunately, this truck doesn't speak English. So Nick gets the bright idea, as everything is currently bright at the moment, to throw a beer bottle at the truck and one of its headlights. Being afraid of alcohol, the mystery truck driver then backs up and leaves them alone for the night. At least that's what they think, as when they were all sleeping that night, someone helps themselves to Dalton's video camera and proceeds to film them all while they sleep to get that premium sellable footage of Paris Hilton, because it worked so well for her the first time. The next morning, they all wake up, the camera is missing, and Wade's car isn't working properly, as his fan belt has been deliberately damaged. Noticing a strange and disturbing smell coming from deeper within the woods, Carly and Paige decide to go investigate it so they can smell it some more, and Carly ends up forgetting about the concept of gravity and falls down a hill into a giant bog of rotting and decomposing animals.

[00:03:06]Everyone comes to investigate the screaming and smelly girls, when they all discover what looks to be a hand emerging from the pile of rotting flesh.

[00:03:13]A man in a truck then suddenly appears to drop off a deer carcass, and after he's done throwing away a perfectly good lunch, he retrieves the hand after they point it out. A hand that's actually from a wax model that he claims to have found at the side of the road. Giving the people a hand and Carly's rather unorthodox bathing techniques aside, the game is about to start soon, but Wade refuses to leave his car behind in case one of those dead animals gets up and tries to steal it or something. So he and Carly are going to get a ride with this fellow hard hand enjoyer to a nearby town to try and get a replacement fan belt while the others go ahead to the game. But upon arriving at the town, they find it to be completely empty.

[00:03:48]There are signs of life all around them, but no people on the streets or in any of the stores. So, after deciding that they aren't just going to steal a fan belt for the fun of it, they walk towards a local church before accidentally interrupting a funeral in process. Something that's not really much of a problem for the person the funeral is being held for, as it's not like you can interrupt a dead person.

[00:04:07]Deciding to kill some time, as that person has already been killed in there, they go to check out the local wax museum as they find out that the others are going to head back to pick them up because they're going to miss the game because of traffic. Heading into the wax museum, they realize the owners have taken the title of House of Wax a bit too literally as it genuinely appears to be a house made from wax. Now, I'm sure that's not exactly up to code when it comes to building regulations, especially when it's one misplaced fart after Taco Tuesday away from imminent disaster. After seeing that the museum is closed, they make like their American ancestors did and go somewhere where they're not welcome. They look around and note that none of the wax figures are recreations of any famous celebrities they recognize, like you might find at most wax museums, and instead they appear to just be different random people. And looking around an area that they don't belong in, Carly's jump scared by the sight of a disfigured person in a reflection. Being deeply disturbed by the disabled, they then leave as the mechanic emerges from the funeral service. They him to tell them that he doesn't have the right fan belt at his garage, but he does have it at home. Just don't ask him what he does with it. While they walk over to his house, he tells them about the wax museum and how it was once operated by the famous wax artist Trudy until she decided to go all funny in the brain one day when she developed a cyst there. She had two sons, Vincent and Bo, and they grew up watching as their mother had to be restrained to a bed by their doctor father after seeing she became a woman who would dare form her own opinions.

[00:05:28]Trudy would die, so their doctor father would respond to this by doing the opposite of what a doctor is supposed to do and dies instead. After making it to the random person's house and asking if he can use the restroom as he really likes to pee on people's hand towels, instead of doing that, once again, Wade decides to start walking around someone else's property when he really shouldn't to come to the conclusion that he's actually in the house of the doctor's crazy mother and two kids. The power then suddenly goes out and Wade has his Achilles tendon snipped in half with a pair of scissors by a dirty floor person who emerges from the floorboards. He attempts to put up a fight, but isn't able to do much on account of having an ouchy foot, so the scissor man is able to give him a few more pokes before knocking him unconscious. Waiting outside and thinking that Wade must be constipated again, Carly suddenly realizes that this is the same trunk that Mick threw his beer bottle at. But before she's able to do anything about it, the mechanic emerges from the house.

[00:06:20]So in response to seeing a man, Carly attempts to steal his car to get away, but has a bit of a woman driver moment.

[00:06:26]While this is all happening, Wade is being taken from an underground tunnel by a person wearing a mask before the man then proceeds to remove Wade's clothes and inject him with something.

[00:06:34]This gives me memories of Bible camp.

[00:06:36]The man proceeds to sew up all of the wounds that he inflicted on Wade before then removing all of his body hair with wax strips. After getting a full body wax for free, he's then restrained to a device that holds his arms, legs, and face in place to ensure that he won't be able to move. And bringing back even more memories of Bible camp, he's then repeatedly sprayed with a hot white liquid that completely covers his entire body. And eventually, he's completely encased in the hot liquid substance that quickly begins to set. After her parking incident, Carly runs over to the church to get the power of God to help, but not realizing that God doesn't like the Americans, she discovers that everyone she saw in there earlier, apart from the mechanic, were all just wax figures as a tape recording played to give off the illusion of life, ironically at a funeral. In a frantic state, Carly accidentally knocks one of the arms off the figures to make the rather grizzly discovery that their insides consist of flesh and bone. They are previous victims who have all been snatched up and given the same treatment as Wade before being placed around the town to make it look like it's inhabited. A town inhabited by people who have suffered strokes, maybe. After seeing that Trudy is the one entombed in the coffin for a permanent funeral, Carly is grabbed by the mechanic and taken back to his shop and restrained to a bed before having her lips superglued together. As Carly is one blocked nose away from complete suffocation, Nick and Dalton then arrive at the town to pick the pair up as Paige and Blake stay back at the camp to do extracurricular activities together.

[00:07:56]Nick and Dalton split up and Nick starts speaking to the mechanic where we learn the two men are actually the children from the beginning, Bo and Vincent. The mechanic is Bo and the one with the mask is Vincent. Carly is being held below the street and as Nick and Bo are talking above her, she attempts to get Nick's attention by putting her finger through the sewer grate. A sewer grate that doesn't actually lead to a sewer, which more than likely just continuously floods the gluey murder room. Bo then bends down to tie his shoelaces but forgets how to do it properly and accidentally cuts off Carly's finger with a pair of pliers. This causes her to tear open her own lips from the superglue and to start screaming. Bo runs off after being punched by Nick as we then see Dalton heading into the House of Wax unaware what's currently going on. He starts looking around and seeing all of the different figures before noticing someone that he swears he recognizes. It's Wade sitting at a piano as he's been turned into a living wax sculpture. And when Wade doesn't respond to him, that's when Dalton realizes what's happened to him as Wade's eyes begin to move and he begins to groan in agony. Wade having a really bad itch that he can't scratch, Dalton helps by proceeding to peel the skin from his face to ensure that there's no skin to ever itch again. After trying to help his friend and involuntarily skinning him alive, Vincent then appears swinging a blade around like some sort of health and safety violation enthusiast where he accidentally slices a chunk of Wade's face clean off. Wade is left doing a permanent smile and according to the Wikipedia page, he apparently dies of shock here, which if I'm being honest is a far better way to go than to be left to slowly rot in a cocoon of your own flesh. Dalton tries to get away, gets pushed down a staircase of faces, a common staple found in most people's houses, before Vincent decides to swiftly remove his head. Impatient and not wanting to wait for them to come to him, Vincent heads out to look for the others, and unfortunately for Blake, he's left permanently blue-balled as he's stabbed in the neck by Vincent before he's able to get it on with Paige. He received the other type of penetration. Paige runs off into the woods, which just so happens to also contain a factory which the brothers have been using to store all of the belongings which previously belonged to the waxworks people. While standing on a metal grate, she's given a little tickle on the heel by Vincent's blade from below as apparently he's got a thing for going for people's feet. She tries to hide in one of the abandoned cars where Vincent then discovers her as for some reason she thought hiding in a small enclosed space would be a good idea, but using a metal pole, she manages to poke him in the face revealing his mask to also be made from wax. In retaliation for his melted candle getting a little bit scratched, he takes the metal pole and throws it directly into her forehead. Using Dalton's camera, he records the aftermath of his pretty impressive javelin shot which shows Paige's body being propped up by the pole that's currently protruding from her skull.

[00:10:33]After stepping on her to push it all the way through, we then see Nick and Cali end up getting a crossbow from a hunting store by doing the incredibly smart and sneaky thing known as destroying a giant glass window. Unsurprisingly, Bo shows up and immediately starts blasting, so the pair run off into the nearby cinema.

[00:10:49]A cinema that is absolutely filled to the brim with different wax sculptures all containing their previous victims inside. Hiding amongst the waxworks in hopes of going unnoticed, this unsurprisingly ends with them being noticed. Bo fires at Cali taking the head off one of the wax figures and the driver unfortunate gentleman located inside of it giving Nick the opportunity to put a bolt through his arm and then another into his chest. Not realizing that Wade's been given the modern-day Botox treatment about 20 years before everyone else, they head to Bo's house to try and find him. But while they're inside the house looking around for him, they find a newspaper clipping reporting on Vincent and Bo's father performing a risky surgery on the pair as they were newborns as they were actually Siamese twins confirming once and for all that disabled people are actually the bad guys. Vincent wears the mask because the surgery left him with a giant gaping hole where his eyeballs should be, and because of that, he's now been left with body issue images, so he's decided to deal with it by killing everyone he comes into contact with. Bo, somehow still alive, returns to the house and removes the bolts from his body, and Cali looks out of the window to see Vincent arrive with Paige and Blake's body as they've managed to get all hard with each other one final time through the scientific process known as rigor mortis. She hears the brothers talking about completing what their mother had started with the town before they discover the secret tunnel that leads them to the room where Wade was given his full body wax treatment. But as they arrive, they realize that they're a little bit early for their appointment as someone is already being seen to.

[00:12:15]Dalton is restrained to the seat and covered in a thick coating of dried wax, and Nick, wanting to get in on the action of being tied down and covered in someone else's white liquid, tries to remove him. But the only thing he ends up actually removing is his head as it snaps right off as it was only attached by wax. Not realizing that he was already decapitated and thinking that he just has super strength or something, Nick decides to quickly start a fire as Vincent shows up to ruin the crusty friend party. After heading upstairs to the house of wax, Bo shows up, and despite being repeatedly penetrated by Nick earlier, he's able to throw him around the room like it's nothing, breaking several of the wax sculptures in the process to reveal the mummified corpses within them as they're kind of like Kinder eggs except for Jeffrey Dahmer. With the fire below burning and spreading, the literal house of wax begins to literally melt, a slight oversight on their part. Nick gets poked in the leg, so Cali responds by introducing Bo's skull to the end of a baseball bat. Vincent shows up to see Bo's face looking even more ugly than his, so goes straight for Cali as Bo's body is consumed by the floor. After watching a man be swallowed by a house, Nick tries to walk up the stairs, but just like trying to walk in a dream, the stairs have turned to sludge. He manages to make it up there just in time to save Carly, and manages to tear off the mask to reveal Vincent's face. Well, half of his face. Carly takes the knife from Nick's leg and transfers it into Vincent's body for the most effective method of blood-borne disease sharing, and Vinnie then falls through the floor into a pit of fire as Nick and Carly fall through the floor, conveniently not into the pit of fire. Nick and Carly dig their way out of the melting building that's soon to be one giant mountain of set wax, and the police show up to investigate the smoke and explain that the brothers have been able to get away with this for all of these years because the writers deemed it so, and also because the town is just apparently a bit hard to get to. But leaving us with one final M. Night Shyamalan-style shocker, the police learn that Trudy didn't have two sons. She in fact has three. The camera then shows the roadkill guy sitting at the edge of town excitedly thinking about how he's going to be able to make the world's largest candle.

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