The Manosphere Didn't Invent This. Christian Patriarchy Did.

[00:00:00]Wow. A recent image unlocked a childhood memory for me, and I'm going to walk into this conversation gently, but it still needs to be said. This amazing woman was my dream mom. I wanted to be Laura's daughter. But I'm sure if I watched the show now through the eyes of a deconstructing Christian who is extracting herself from Christian patriarchy, I'd probably cringe at some of the topics. But still, Laura, she was so beautiful, so stylish, so kind, funny, talented, unafraid to show emotions. But what this past week unlocked for me is that it wasn't just Laura, it was Robin Laura. How they just seemed genuine, real, loving, everything I never saw in any of the relationships around me. And that truth may break the hearts of some who will watch this video, but tell me where I'm wrong. In my childhood, men were abusive of alcohol of family finances, neglecting to pay for their children, and forget about being a positive role model. And they also abused women. And as the oldest child, grandchild, niece, I saw it all. And I more than saw it. I listened. I was the quiet child in the corner of the living room hearing the women talk about the men. They may have tried to talk in code, but I knew they were talking about the men whose last name matched mine, who sat at the Thanksgiving tables, who drank too many PBRs, who drove massive trucks and hot rod cars, making up for something that they felt life had denied them. They certainly weren't finding any satisfaction in their love life. Many of them used women like toilet paper. So, I don't think I'm the only one who looked at the life of Rob and Laura and wanted to believe that that life was supposed to be the way it was. That you got to grow up in a house with two loving parents. That you got to live in a house more than one year at a time before you're up and suddenly having to move again. That you got to be a kid and not witness the pain of adults when they don't know what's wrong with them. They don't know why life decided to kick them down the road really hard and then say, "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

[00:02:07]You ain't got no reason to cry. Just be a man and go on. Now listen, I'm not saying that the men from my childhood didn't have moments of greatness. And I have some really good memories. But I can tell you that many of them never had any intention of honoring the vows they repeated if the women ever got them to the altar. Perhaps the ones that didn't were the lucky ones. But before this gets any deeper than I intended, this is what I want to say. When people talk about the way it used to be, this is what they mean. A time when a woman got the beat out of her and women then would huddle together to tend to her because that's just the way it was. No laws, no counseling, no protective orders. It's just the way it was. Men were in charge just like God designed it. And if a woman stepped out of line, well, she deserved what was coming to her. You made him do it. That was what it meant to be a man's man. A Marlboro smoking, whiskey drinking, sit at the bar until you're damn good and ready to go home kind of man. That's the lineage of the men who made America.

[00:03:18]At least that's the trope of the so-called manosphere. But let me look you directly in the eyes when I say this. There is no man, absolutely none, under God's yellow sun who would look at this image and say, "This is who I aspire to be." that this is the image that I want to show my boy and say, "Someday, son. You keep listening to men like Andrew and this could all be yours." No one is saying that.

[00:03:45]Men and boys are being sold a grift from someone who hates women because he hates himself. And while I will absolutely not say that all men who abuse women are internalizing homophobia, I will say there will be clues. Now, I want to bring it back down and close with this. Listen, if you're struggling with your own childhood memories and trauma where we dreamed of a life that we all should have had, then I encourage you to seek support or find people that you can talk to. And if you have been influenced any way by the grift of Andrew Tate, then I encourage you to move quickly into deconstructing and decolonizing spaces so you understand the toxicity of patriarchy, white supremacy, misogyny, and how it harms not only those you love, but also you.

[00:04:34]And lastly, if you are struggling with your authenticity, with who you really are deep down inside, and you have no one to talk to, please seek support. The LGBT National Help Center and the Trevor Project are two examples. And finally, they may not all be using their hatred of women to hide their internalized homophobia, but there will be signs.