What Is The Difference Between Protestants And Catholics?

Ajouté : 2026-05-28

[00:00:00][music] [music] Welcome back to Finn Vers History. I'm with Ratio G.

[00:00:16]>> Hi.

[00:00:16]>> This is the Counterreformation. It's part four. It's a very sad episode.

[00:00:20]Very, very tragic stuff. This >> um this we've the empire strikes back.

[00:00:25]>> The Protestant Holocaust.

[00:00:27]>> The Protestant Holocaust. numbers that you believe.

[00:00:29]>> I completely believe. Why? Why would you doubt these numbers? I mean, and and they're staggering.

[00:00:34]>> Yeah, you'd write a denial of the denial if you heard someone deny this.

[00:00:36]>> I would I would I would like to open >> I'd like to deny the the >> procost to summarize events. the um the the filthy, disgusting, rotten Catholic Church had been bravely uh to put it mildly >> to put it mildly and I [laughter] >> had been bravely challenged by Martin Luther and [clears throat] my own personal hero John Calvin.

[00:00:59]>> Yeah.

[00:00:59]>> But by the 1540s, the Catholic Church have >> It's 5:00 a.m. It's a kitchen. It's an afters. Everyone's on pingers.

[00:01:07]Everyone's on Coke. And Martin Luther has opened the curtains >> and he's covered in poo.

[00:01:12]>> Yeah. Yeah. like streaming in and it's just the birds are tweeting and now it's like right we've got to stop all this nonsense. Stop chatting [ __ ] >> Yeah.

[00:01:20]>> What you you go to bed.

[00:01:22]>> Yes. Yes. Go to [ __ ] bed. I genuinely It's like when I went to Charlie 30th.

[00:01:28]>> I felt like Martin Luther [laughter] >> in this rotten, you know, indulgent >> all Charlie's friends, you know, I that they're all trans and they have no eyebrows.

[00:01:38]>> Finn has been quite confused because so many of Charlie's friends have no eyebrows. I'm just confused. I don't know what they're thinking.

[00:01:44]>> You don't know if it's an alipcia thing.

[00:01:45]You don't know if it's a political statement. Political statement.

[00:01:48]>> You don't know if they're on Looney Tunes and they've tried to deactivate a bomb and it's exploded the fire.

[00:01:53]>> I don't know what they think. Yeah.

[00:01:55]>> Okay. Anyway, um we So, the Catholic Church start to uh notice that they're losing the grip on the Holy Roman Empire. And so, uh they initiate the Council of Trent.

[00:02:07]>> Trent Alexander Arnold.

[00:02:08]>> Ladies, calm yourselves. Okay. There are episodes where we talk about uh uh engineering issues. Um and again, you know, in the Chernobyl series, we talked about nuclear fishision. Many ladies left the house during that without spare pants and their days were ruined.

[00:02:25]>> I'm giving you a chance engineering issues.

[00:02:27]>> They had their own engineering issues.

[00:02:28]They had their own problems.

[00:02:30]>> Um I'm warning you now that when we get into the Council of Trent, [laughter] >> similar issues will occur. Okay? This is not stuff to be taken lightly. Now, the Council of Trent uh is an 18year >> council >> theological meeting, >> right? Okay. An 18-year long meeting. I guess you didn't have loads to do in those days.

[00:02:51]>> No, but this is this is this is an 18-year uh meeting is how should we respond to Martin Luther's book? It it really does go to show that the the upper hand the Protestants had with printing press. [laughter] >> The Catholics had an 18-year meeting.

[00:03:06]>> Yeah.

[00:03:07]as a result of this council of Trent they uh they work out what they think right >> in response to Luther's challenge they say that um the faith is not the only thing it's also the church >> 18 years this took >> that communion is actually the blood >> guys go back in there until you come up with a better idea >> it took you 18 years to just double down on the fact that actually is but that's bollocks that's absolute bollocks >> um they say the seven sacraments ments are to stay in place which is now these now again we're this is a Protestant podcast.

[00:03:41]>> Yeah.

[00:03:42]>> So the sacraments are baptism, confirmation, eukarist, penance, anointing of the sick, holy orders and marriage.

[00:03:51]>> Yeah.

[00:03:51]>> What are the Protestant sacraments?

[00:03:54]Work, sleep.

[00:03:56]>> What is it?

[00:03:56]>> Tap water.

[00:03:57]>> Yeah.

[00:03:58]>> Yeah. Eat, >> pray, repeat.

[00:03:59]>> Yeah.

[00:03:59]>> Uh yeah. Eat, eat, pray, love.

[00:04:02]>> Yeah.

[00:04:02]>> Except don't love.

[00:04:03]>> Yeah.

[00:04:04]>> Don't open yourself. Pray.

[00:04:06]>> Eat. Pray. Sleep. Don't feel anything.

[00:04:09]Clench your jaw till your face explodes.

[00:04:11]Ignore your wife. Shake your kids' hands.

[00:04:13]>> No, I'm not dad. I'm sir. [laughter] Um uh they say the Latin translation of the Bible should be continued to be prioritized and they would still have do indulgences, but they were not allowed to be marketed, >> right? So they weren't allowed to be like sponsored content or like part of a brand.

[00:04:28]>> No. No paid advertising. [laughter] >> Okay. Um they also banned uh relatives from uh being appointed to church positions and they said that bishops had to live in their dascese.

[00:04:39]>> Right. They didn't want a roaming like false nine bishop.

[00:04:42]>> No, they didn't want like when an MP, you know, is not actually from the area and they get parachuted in from Westminster. [snorts] >> Um but they also f found the Jesuits, the shock troops of the counterreformation.

[00:04:56]These are mass missionaries who uh they basically go and spread the gospel of sin uh to try and break up uh the Protestant states.

[00:05:10]>> Uh so we get to the Roman Inquisition of 1542. Okay. This is where the Protests begins.

[00:05:17]>> Okay.

[00:05:18]>> Um >> this beginning of the wars of religion that sort of is still sort of going on now in some ways.

[00:05:24]>> Is it still going on now? No.

[00:05:26]>> And now it's now it's now it's Christianity versus Islam.

[00:05:29]>> Yeah, I guess so. Is there Protestant Catholic? I mean, there's tensions in Northern Ireland, but was that the last >> embers of it? There's the the old Celtic Rangers, I guess, is as close as it gets.

[00:05:39]>> But that's football, isn't it?

[00:05:40]>> Yeah, that's a spectator sport.

[00:05:41]>> Sure. You know, >> this is a spectator sport for some people.

[00:05:44]>> This episode will challenge how much of a spectator sport this stuff is.

[00:05:47][laughter] Um, so the Roman Inquisition, the these are the I mean at this point in sort of 16th century, uh, the Holy Roman Empire is Spanish. I think it's still Charles the 5th. Get a photo up of Charles the Fifth, Charlie. Let's have a look at this jaw. [snorts] Um, it's this guy.

[00:06:02]He, uh, basically Spain is like a rogue state.

[00:06:07]>> Uh, and he sends his sort of spies across the empire to [ __ ] me.

[00:06:14]>> Christ, >> that's right. So he's like um we're looking at a photo of of Charles the Fifth.

[00:06:19]>> What's the noise that you think when you hear that?

[00:06:23][laughter] >> Excuse me.

[00:06:30][groaning] >> Is there any experience in life that would cause you to make that face? Could you ever see yourself making an expression?

[00:06:35]>> I think that's what Finn's face was when he came to your 30th. [laughter] >> Your eyebrows. Your eyebrows. Are you trans?

[00:06:43]>> There's been meeting someone with different eyebrows. [snorts] [laughter] >> Um um what are you thinking? Are you pissed off at me? I can't tell.

[00:06:51][laughter] And what gender are you either? I I don't don't need to know.

[00:06:55]But if I'm attracted to you and you're a bloke, I need to know if I'm gay. That's why I [laughter] need to know.

[00:07:00]>> That's the thing about gender neutral.

[00:07:01]It I know >> you went you did panic and go around asking everyone if you're [laughter] gay, which is a weird am I gay?

[00:07:08]>> No, it's when people say they're gender neutral. It's like that. I I know you don't care, but if I'm attracted to what does it mean for me?

[00:07:15]>> So, are you saying only ugly people should be gender neutral?

[00:07:17]>> I'm saying there's a there's a level of ugliness where it doesn't matter, [laughter] >> you know.

[00:07:22]>> But if you're hot, you should be gender neutral cuz it implies a lot for other people.

[00:07:26]>> You can be gend you can say you're gender neutral, but I need to know. It's like the Italian. It's there's that brilliant uh who's that com Italian comic. Who's got that bit about it?

[00:07:34]>> Oh, Philipp Filippo. guy. So this real whereas guys like in Italy if you're gender neutral we say um l gender neutral if you're a bloke or lash [laughter] neutral if you're a woman because in romance languages you can't actually everything has to beended gendered.

[00:07:49]>> Um so yes that that's I suppose that's how I look at Charlie's um uh what are you actually I need to know if I'm gay or not. Uh yeah so he's he's at this at this point in history Spain is a rogue state. It's basically 16th century Israel >> in that it's like it's it's causing chaos in violation of international law.

[00:08:13]Okay.

[00:08:13]>> Right.

[00:08:14]>> Charles V, that guy has got a network of spies who he's sending out to quell Protestantism, the good guys.

[00:08:20]>> Right. [snorts] >> Okay. So, it's like >> they got their own IDF.

[00:08:23]>> Mothad.

[00:08:24]>> Yeah.

[00:08:25]>> Mothad.

[00:08:25]>> Yeah.

[00:08:26]>> Um and he's sending Mothad all over the Holy Roman Empire to quell Protestants.

[00:08:32]Um so one of the most famous examples of this is Galileo in Italy who uh now he builds a telescope.

[00:08:40]>> When was Galileo?

[00:08:42]>> This is in the sort of early 17th century now.

[00:08:44]>> Okay. Right. Right. Right.

[00:08:45]>> He builds his telescope. Yeah. And he sees the moon like in more and now this is not high definition. No. This would be like he sees it in [ __ ] 360 rather than >> dangerous if we start talking about science again.

[00:08:58]>> Yeah. Yes. Be very careful. No, no, but this is 17th century science. I think we have to back ourselves >> that we can we can, you know, it's a telescope and he can see the moon clearer than anyone else has, >> right?

[00:09:10]>> And so he sees the >> Did he make the telescope?

[00:09:12]>> I Why are you asking me that? Why are you asking me that?

[00:09:15]>> And what was he trying to make?

[00:09:17]>> I don't understand the state of that telescope.

[00:09:19]>> I don't know how a telescope works. I don't understand how he sees creators on the moon in the 17th century. I don't understand it. But I think it was he was trying to make a quick shot launch and it was sort of like when they invented penicellin when they discovered penicellin >> right >> when he left an old moldy sandwich out and it it molded into penicellin.

[00:09:36]>> He's trying to make the quick shot launch masturbator. He looked through it and he goes, "Hang on a minute. This has got like Yeah, this got like 10 times."

[00:09:43]>> So he was you know that you know that famous TV shot of the guy that walks across and times it perfectly with you get this and the rocket launches. Yeah, >> it's that except you get this and it's just a guy [laughter] in the background. Um, uh, yeah, I So, Galileo didn't invent the telescope, but he made significant improvements.

[00:10:02]>> 30 times magnification.

[00:10:03]>> It magnified by 30 times. [snorts] Um, so he sees that the moon's got craters on it.

[00:10:08]>> Yeah.

[00:10:08]>> Which then now I think maybe the Catholic Church, they've been operating under this thing called like the one sky theory or something. This is like the one child policy >> sort of in that they're like the moon doesn't have I don't I don't know but the fact again everyone's >> the fundamental thing is that everything re revolves around the earth >> Galileo is a helioentrist >> right so he's sort of >> he's Nick [laughter] >> he's Nick Kle but he thinks that this the earth revolves around the sun >> right >> and the the Catholics are like no that completely [ __ ] >> everything follow what do you mean you're mental [snorts] >> um get off the fence pick a side >> he also sees that uh is it Jupiter has moons >> and then so that so the moons >> what's through his telescope >> again don't ask me like I [ __ ] know I don't care I don't I'm not like our patrons will have telescopes in their bedroom and they'll be pointing it down towards their neighbor's house to look at their daughter okay [laughter] >> they're not looking up >> but he finds out that if Jupiter has moons that means not everything revolves around >> not everything revolves around the >> the Moon. [laughter] >> Not everything revolves around moon >> slamming the door shut.

[00:11:19]>> Yeah. Uh I don't know what he I don't know what this I don't care. All right.

[00:11:23]But the point is that what he finds in his little telescope, it means that it contradicts some of the stuff in the Bible that implies that the Earth was just a flat. But again, this is a 2,00.

[00:11:33]>> So they torture him. How do they torture Galileo?

[00:11:36]>> I think they they put him on like a rack or something.

[00:11:38]>> It's just your personal trainer, right?

[00:11:40]>> He was physically he was not physical.

[00:11:42]psychological pressure.

[00:11:43]>> Oh, no.

[00:11:46]>> Listen, >> well, that's look because the whole thing about Galileo is that he recanted all the things he said because he was tortured so much and he was like an old man. I didn't know it was just peer pressure >> and he was grounded for 9 years.

[00:11:55]>> No, but listen, this is this is devastatingly sad. The Catholics, you know, this is awful. Psych in some ways, you know, you can withstand physical pain, but psychological torture.

[00:12:03]>> That's far worse.

[00:12:04]>> Far worse. Okay.

[00:12:05]>> Maybe it was [ __ ] and ball torture.

[00:12:07]>> Maybe it was piss play. We don't know.

[00:12:08]But he he was confined to his house. He was put under house arrest. He was shown the instruments of torture to intimidate him into accounting. Oh, >> look at this.

[00:12:19]>> Um, basically Spain, Charles V are Mossad and they have or maybe they're Iranian Iranian proxies.

[00:12:26]>> Now, the Spanish Inquisition have been founded in 1478.

[00:12:29]Uh, and it had been focused on enforcing uh Jews and Muslims to become Catholics.

[00:12:35]>> Right. Makes sense. [snorts] >> Um, makes sense.

[00:12:40][laughter] Makes sense why they'd want to do that.

[00:12:43]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:12:44]>> What's this? A Spanish Inquisition.

[00:12:45]>> So, it is actually, Charlie. Yeah. Um, however, once the Protestants come into it, uh, they they start to clamp down.

[00:12:54]They use the same tactics >> on these poor innocent, you know, hardworking. [snorts] >> Um, so, uh, you have Protestants in Vad Vadid and Seville.

[00:13:06]>> Well, they shouldn't be doing anything there to be honest. I I do think if you're Protestant in Spain, >> what's going on?

[00:13:11]>> What are you doing there? Are you on holiday?

[00:13:14]>> Maybe they're on holiday. In which case, this is even more tragic.

[00:13:17]>> Yeah, >> but it's funny to It's the same.

[00:13:18]>> The Benodorm, I guess, is a Protestant outpost.

[00:13:20]>> Thank you. You're right.

[00:13:22]>> So, there's like a safe zone.

[00:13:23]>> That's Protestant Spain. [laughter] >> Protestant Spain is Benadorm. It's Tenneref. You know, this makes sense.

[00:13:30]>> Yes. It's [ __ ] full English for [ __ ] dinner.

[00:13:33]>> Yeah. Irish pub.

[00:13:34]>> Irish pub. Yeah, >> this makes sense. You know, plastic chairs, bald guys sitting there getting pink.

[00:13:41]>> Who's Who's the famous person who's in Benon? There's that old lady.

[00:13:45]>> No. Is it >> Bivo went to bed? He had a bad time.

[00:13:48]>> Kept getting abused in the street.

[00:13:49]>> Well, it's hard to be Protestant in Spain.

[00:13:51]>> It is hard.

[00:13:52]>> I don't know if Biv is Protestant.

[00:13:54]>> Maybe >> he doesn't know he's Protestant, but uh >> he swallows like a Protestant.

[00:13:57]>> Yeah.

[00:13:57]>> [ __ ] >> no. True.

[00:13:59]>> You know the rules.

[00:14:01][snorts] So, uh, yes, because you're you're right to think that Benador was Protestant Spain because the Spanish Inquisition labeled drunken mockery as Lutheran, right?

[00:14:10]>> And eating meat on forbidden days was heresy >> such as Fridays.

[00:14:13]>> You're right. And that really this is a battle for the soul of Spain, [snorts] >> right?

[00:14:18]>> And we are now left with, you know, uh, mainland Spain or original Spain.

[00:14:23]>> Yeah.

[00:14:24]>> Um, and then these few brave outposts, these settle states.

[00:14:28]>> Yeah.

[00:14:29]of Benadorm Tenneref and uh I don't know I don't know canary >> Canary Islands Morca Monora yeah exactly >> they're safe for us to travel to >> but they you know they also ban they start banning books uh and they have an index of all these pages that are all all these titles that forbidden >> what books would you like to ban >> um uh what books will I ban uh why I'm no longer talking to white people about race [laughter] um I ban that >> right >> banned.

[00:15:03]>> Um I'd also like >> Women don't owe you pretty.

[00:15:06]>> Women don't owe you pretty.

[00:15:07]>> Yeah.

[00:15:08]>> Um >> banned >> banned. [laughter] >> I'd also There's several books that my >> I'd love to see the the the color of the books on the P that you're burning. So they all very colorful be pink poppy like >> all this sort of pop feminism stuff.

[00:15:22]>> Yeah, exactly. Um white feminism ban.

[00:15:25]No, I tell you what I would actually ban is there's several kids books that I would ban.

[00:15:30]>> What? Won't kids books?

[00:15:30]>> No, no, no, no. Won't just I don't want to read them and my kids always make me read them and they're [ __ ] boring.

[00:15:36]>> Uh, the enormous turnip. [laughter] Banned. Burned.

[00:15:40]>> Done.

[00:15:40]>> Done. [snorts] >> Um, what's another? Oh, Bing. Bing can [ __ ] off.

[00:15:45]>> What's Bing about?

[00:15:46]>> I don't Bing is a cartoon of a rabbit who's a [ __ ] wetter, right? And he's always going >> bad lessons.

[00:15:53]>> Yes. Yes. And he's with Flop.

[00:15:55]>> And he's with Flop and Am.

[00:15:57]>> How do you know this?

[00:15:58]>> I know about Bing.

[00:15:58]>> Yeah. These Well, this is Kids.

[00:16:00]>> No, this is Charlie's reading this.

[00:16:02][laughter] >> How do you know about that?

[00:16:05]>> Because he reads He reads at night.

[00:16:07]Okay.

[00:16:07]>> Hey, >> he's famous.

[00:16:08]>> He's Yeah. Well, it's a TV show that they made into books, >> but Bing Bing can get in the bin, right?

[00:16:13]Bing's awful. Bing's boring.

[00:16:14]>> Yeah.

[00:16:15]>> Blue is brilliant. Blue is great stuff.

[00:16:18]You could watch Blueie without kids and really enjoy it.

[00:16:20]>> Is is Percy Pig good? Peppa Pig's [ __ ] live with Peppa Pig.

[00:16:25]>> What do you mean lived with Peppa Pig?

[00:16:27]>> My mate honestly lived with um Peppa Pig in Berlin. The person who voiced Peppa >> in Berlin.

[00:16:33]>> Peppa Pig lived in Berlin.

[00:16:35]>> Pepper.

[00:16:36]>> Peppa's in Burkhine.

[00:16:39][laughter] >> He found out he was living with her and then he kind of asked her what she did and then event it became clear that >> she went >> she's Peppa. She voiced Peppa Pig >> and she lives in Berlin.

[00:16:50]>> She Peppa Pig lives in Berlin. the voice of a of Peppa.

[00:16:52]>> I mean, this actual Peppa >> Peppa >> Yeah.

[00:16:55]>> lives in Berlin.

[00:16:55]>> Not Peppa.

[00:16:56]>> Peppa, not >> Poppers. Papa >> Peppa's doing poppers in Berlin.

[00:17:01][snorts] >> Uh, right. Well, this has changed. I can no longer have that on my screen. If I know that Peppa Pig is [ __ ] in Burkhine, how old is Peppa?

[00:17:11]>> Peppa is about our age, about sort of 29, 30. This is >> Is it Is it a she?

[00:17:16]>> People need people need to know.

[00:17:18]>> She's sending it.

[00:17:18]>> She's sending it. Yeah.

[00:17:19]>> Fair enough. She lives in Berlin.

[00:17:21]>> Yeah.

[00:17:21]>> You know, >> she's having it at large.

[00:17:22]>> Berlin is not, you know, Berlin is not a Lutheran city.

[00:17:25]>> No.

[00:17:25]>> Is it?

[00:17:26]>> No.

[00:17:27]>> It's godless.

[00:17:29]>> Yeah.

[00:17:29]>> Um Well, that's that's that's pretty I mean, I'd ban that then. Ban that filth.

[00:17:34][snorts] >> Anyway, so the the Catholics ban loads of books. Uh and they they start to clamp down on Protestants and uh there is the first Protestant man in Spain to be killed, >> burnt at the stake for being Protestant.

[00:17:49]a painter from Morca. Of course he's from Morca.

[00:17:51]>> Can't say anything these days.

[00:17:53]>> Morcanistan.

[00:17:55]Morca. Gon Gon Salvo. Um and he never had even admitted to being a Lutheran, but he was executed in 1523.

[00:18:03]>> Would you change your Facebook profile picture to faded?

[00:18:07]>> I stand with Gon Salvo.

[00:18:08]>> Yeah.

[00:18:08]>> Now, they don't always uh kill the Protestants, >> right?

[00:18:12]>> Uh in the Spanish Inquisition, they sentence them uh to penance. They have to wear a San Bonito, which is a big sack. Uh, the exile finds.

[00:18:22]>> Have a look at what the San Bonito looks like.

[00:18:23]>> Let's have a look at San Bonito. It's a big sack with yellow and red crosses and flames as decoration. It sounds like sounds pretty sick.

[00:18:29]>> Sounds like a Hawaiian shirt I would have worn at age 10. [laughter] >> Oh, it's like a big dance hat. Is that where we get >> Fair enough.

[00:18:34]>> Is that Is that where we get a big dance hat from?

[00:18:36]>> I mean, it's kind of fire though. I don't know why they've decorated it so well.

[00:18:40]>> That might be blood.

[00:18:40]>> It kind of goes hard.

[00:18:42]>> No, it's not very hard. That's >> like a big sort of tabard with a big cross on it.

[00:18:45]>> Yeah. And that means that you're you're a Protestant in >> Yeah, I guess you'd feel pretty vulnerable.

[00:18:50]>> That's the equivalent of the Jews having the yellow star, you know. So this is I mean this is just devastatingly sad.

[00:18:57]>> I'm struggling with this episode.

[00:18:58]>> The fact that humanity can go to such low >> sink so low.

[00:19:02]>> They had to make they made like a public show trial to rejoin the church. Um and they were banned from working jobs in medicine and law and they weren't allowed to wear jewelry, ride horses, or carry weapons. Well, what's what's the point of living?

[00:19:16]>> What's the point of being Protestant if you can't carry a weapon?

[00:19:19]>> Yeah. [snorts] >> So, death penalties were quite rare for Protestants in Spain. I dispute that.

[00:19:24]>> But also, now it says here that there were more people that were killed in England by Mary, Queen of Scot >> than in Spain.

[00:19:34]>> It does sound like 10 people per year of various centers for Protestantism. Do you believe those numbers?

[00:19:39]>> 10 too many. I I do dispute that. I think I think it was far bigger than that. 15 20 people maybe >> maybe even 30.

[00:19:47]>> Okay. The number rose to 93 a year. This is a disgrace. Okay. Where where are the memorials?

[00:19:53]>> Where is Where's the pile of shoes?

[00:19:55]Wouldn't be many. It wouldn't be many shoes.

[00:19:57]>> Where's the pile of glasses? Okay. You know, >> about five pairs of glasses.

[00:20:03]>> No, they all got glasses >> cuz they're working. They're reading.

[00:20:06]They've got to read the Bible. Catholics don't have to read.

[00:20:08]>> Right.

[00:20:09]>> Right.

[00:20:10]>> Protestantism is about reading. It's a book club basically.

[00:20:13]>> Protestantism.

[00:20:14]>> Yeah.

[00:20:15]>> Yes, it is a book club.

[00:20:16]>> You see a circle, you read it, you talk about each chapter and how it made you feel.

[00:20:19]>> Yeah, it is.

[00:20:20]>> You have been part of a book club.

[00:20:21]>> My ex-girlfriend went to a book club and happened to be there was my now wife cuz we were friends before we got together, >> right?

[00:20:28]>> And I was with >> my now wife.

[00:20:30]>> My now wife. [laughter] >> Um [snorts] uh they they they so they cross paths. And at that particular book club, um, my ex-girlfriend cried.

[00:20:41]>> Were you dating her at the time she was at the book club?

[00:20:44]>> Yes, my ex. So, she cried.

[00:20:45]>> What were you doing at this time?

[00:20:47]>> Um, >> are you betting on to um Is this when you're in your betting phase?

[00:20:50]>> No, I'm betting on virtual [ __ ] fighting. [laughter] >> I'm making cans of Polish Polish laga.

[00:20:56]Betting on.

[00:20:56]>> I'm not Yeah, I'm not I'm not in a good place. [laughter] >> Um, but she's she cries cuz of cuz I hadn't [ __ ] made her a good enough vegan dinner or something.

[00:21:05]>> Um, or something. Yeah. Or something. Or I've been rude to a friend. I don't know. Take a pick. Uh and then and then my Yeah. My wife remembers that. And then um >> this guy sounds good. [laughter] >> This guy sounds like horrible.

[00:21:18]>> [ __ ] hell. Sounds like your sounds like your friends aren't a laugh, but this guy sounds [ __ ] hilarious.

[00:21:21][laughter] >> I'd love to go with this guy. No, but I I was mates with him already.

[00:21:27]>> Right.

[00:21:27]>> So, um anyway, >> wait. So, okay. So, what she heard from your current girlfriend? What? What did What your now? He heard her side of the story and then my mal wife was like [ __ ] I think I think maybe you're the problem. But [laughter] >> did part of you already have feelings for your >> Oh, I answered the whole time. I said the whole time I I met when I was 18 and I was like >> do you think the book do you think the book club she was like no >> and my wife was like no >> let me have a look for other options.

[00:21:55]>> Yeah. Yeah. Please anyone let's find anyone else.

[00:21:58]>> All right. No one fine.

[00:21:59]>> And then she started [laughter] and then but I I was determined. I was like a World War I general. I was like slowly year by year we will progress through it's the long game I would just and then she started it's you know the biological clock starts to tick she starts getting slightly older you know suddenly I'm looking more and more like her last option right [laughter] >> she starts throwing her friends >> the lights come up at the club who's left [laughter] >> hi she starts throwing her friends in front like human shields >> right bat them >> [laughter] >> Batting them off.

[00:22:33]>> That's not going to work on me. [ __ ] you.

[00:22:35]>> [ __ ] off, love. I see what you're doing there. In the bin, right out of window.

[00:22:39]Defenestrator. Get her out. Get her out window. I threw several of her friends out the windows and it made the wedding awkward because all the bridesmaids were paralyzed. [laughter] Um, no. Anyway, and then eventually uh yeah, afterward 12 12 10 10 years 10 years um I wore her down.

[00:22:58]>> That's one of those beautiful stories I've ever >> I wore her down [laughter] and she signed the Treaty of Versailles in a railway carriage and and um Yeah. And there was a piece that was >> an uneasy piece.

[00:23:11]>> Uneasy piece. [laughter] Listen, now we've had kids. There's there's something brewing.

[00:23:14]>> Yeah. And I think maybe the deal that she's got will eventually lead to >> Yeah. She's she's getting angrier.

[00:23:19]getting angrier [laughter] as >> she's going to move our troops into Rhineland and there's nothing you can do about it.

[00:23:23]>> Nothing I can do. No, but yeah. No, that was so Anyway, but that was the only book club I've ever been a part of. And uh >> Well, you weren't a part. Were you there?

[00:23:31]>> No, I wasn't there. I was at home, >> right?

[00:23:33]>> Not cooking dinner.

[00:23:34]>> Right.

[00:23:35]>> But then she was so picky that I could never make the dinner correctly, so I just gave up.

[00:23:39]>> Yeah.

[00:23:39]>> I said, "Well, let's just get a takeaway." And then she [ __ ] cried or something.

[00:23:44][laughter] [snorts] >> She was always crying.

[00:23:48]>> What's she up to now? I don't know. I don't know. But I wish her well.

[00:23:52]>> Yeah. But you So >> I'm glad I'm not there.

[00:23:55]>> Is your wife now a big cryer? Because Yeah. B. It's like three times a day.

[00:23:59]But she she can't expect me to react to her crying as if it's crying. If it's that regular cuz she's devalued what crying is.

[00:24:06]>> Yeah. Boy who cried wolf.

[00:24:07]>> It definitely is. Girl who cried [ __ ] >> girl who cried. Girl who cried whenever.

[00:24:11]>> Yeah.

[00:24:12]>> No. She doesn't cry much. No.

[00:24:15]>> You got to marry them.

[00:24:16]>> That's a tough one. Yeah.

[00:24:16]>> You got to marry them. BB is just a constant.

[00:24:20]>> Just pick your moments. You know what I mean?

[00:24:22]>> Well, crying doesn't mean anything if you're crying at a [ __ ] at a sunset.

[00:24:25]>> I feel like women cry like men wank though at thought of like cleaning the pipes.

[00:24:30]>> Yes. For them, I think it I guess if if you saw one of us cry, it would be like it's such a serious thing cuz it happen every three or four years and it would mean what's happened is so devastating.

[00:24:41]>> I don't think my wife has ever cried hanging upside down with an apple up her arm. [laughter] You don't know that, >> right? I don't know that.

[00:24:48]>> You don't know that. She's got a life that you don't know.

[00:24:50]>> That's funny because that that implies that women are masturbating once every four years when [laughter] when a relative dies or something.

[00:24:55]>> Pretty serious.

[00:24:55]>> No, it's serious. Oh dear. No, she's upstairs. She's masturbating.

[00:24:58]Something's gone very wrong. [laughter] >> Um, >> but crying is Catholic. And so, you know, these Protestant men look, they're wearing their tabard, their sort of their Jewish stars of the 16th century, but they're dealing with it. They're just cracking on, you know, >> because their faith strengthens them.

[00:25:16]>> Right. So, uh, now Charles V, uh, you know, 16th century Netanyahu, he has his spies everywhere and he starts to infiltrate, um, other areas like like Paris, Constantinople, London, Brussels, uh, and through their embassies, the Spanish are operating this awful network of anti-protestant activity. Um, and you you uh >> What's this, Charlie? What have you got, Charlie?

[00:25:46]>> This is a Nigerian man who is um setting a world record for the longest crying by an individual.

[00:25:53]>> Let's hear what cry sounds like.

[00:25:55]>> African cries are great.

[00:25:57]>> Tik Tok power and share the live. Do not forget the live, >> right? Um he was temporarily blind for 45 minutes with headaches and a swollen face because he claimed to have cried for seven days as part of a trend of record attempts in Nigeria to cry as much as you can.

[00:26:15]>> Did he win?

[00:26:16]>> Um I don't know.

[00:26:18]>> Now what's interesting is Protestantism in Africa because I feel because Christianity was brought by European missionaries.

[00:26:24]>> Yes.

[00:26:25]>> From Northern Europe, a lot of it most of Africa is Protestant. Right.

[00:26:29]>> Yes.

[00:26:29]>> It doesn't seem to manifest itself in a particularly Protestant way.

[00:26:32]>> No. It comes out Catholic almost.

[00:26:33][laughter] Why are your gear that I mean that's that's it's Protestantism meets African and it becomes Catholic, [laughter] >> you know, cuz they're not no condoms, >> right?

[00:26:44]>> Loads of babies, >> right?

[00:26:46]>> Yeah. Yeah. That is funny that, isn't it?

[00:26:47]>> Yeah.

[00:26:48]>> And then but Protestantism Protestantism meets Asian. It just kind of bounces back. Yeah.

[00:26:52]>> It doesn't touch. [ __ ] off.

[00:26:54]>> Return to sender.

[00:26:55]>> Yeah. It's a squash. It's a squash court. You can't like Asian Confucianism or whatever whatever they're kind of >> they already figured this [ __ ] out.

[00:27:04]>> They have they're so ahead of all of us.

[00:27:05]>> Yeah. Like they're a-ligious.

[00:27:07]>> Yeah.

[00:27:08]>> So like >> actually that's very Protestant to basically be like >> Yeah. But they're not even they're not even arguing about like atheism, agnosticism. They're just like, "Nah, Ben, done next."

[00:27:17]>> Yeah, we we all agree.

[00:27:18]>> They're the Protestant like you they're the beacon on the hill.

[00:27:21]>> Definitely the Japan basically.

[00:27:23]>> Japan. Yeah. You know, suicide sapuku.

[00:27:26]>> I mean, yeah. Does it get more Protestant than that? [laughter] >> You know, >> it's interesting. Suicide is very much a Protestant thing, right? Because the Catholic Church says that's a big no no.

[00:27:36]Yeah.

[00:27:36]>> But pro like have at it.

[00:27:37]>> Get yourself out of window.

[00:27:39]>> Yeah. If you if you're if you're a burden.

[00:27:41]>> Yeah.

[00:27:41]>> Or if you have some mental health issues, >> kill yourself. [laughter] >> That's how you solve everything.

[00:27:47]>> Yeah. So, there's a lot of respect for the Japanese approach.

[00:27:49]>> It's the easiest solution.

[00:27:50]>> If you disordered someone, don't apologize. Kill yourself.

[00:27:53]>> Kill yourself. Yeah.

[00:27:54]>> Don't burden them with your apology.

[00:27:55]Kill yourself, you know.

[00:27:56]>> Yeah. Well, why are you holding on to guilt?

[00:27:59]>> Kill yourself.

[00:28:00]>> Yeah, [laughter] exactly. [snorts] Um, so, uh, now let's get So, there's been a big there's a big war with the Dutch that the Spain, Charles F, because the Dutch are Calvinist at this point in the early 1600s.

[00:28:14]>> Um, it does make sense.

[00:28:16]>> Uh, and Spain start fighting them.

[00:28:20]>> Uh, I don't know who wins. It goes on for [ __ ] ages, right? Yeah, the Netherlands was part of the Holy Roman Empire or and then owned by which was also in Spain and they fought back and became this like very like stubborn city state >> because this is the start of the Dutch uh golden age right so they do they defeat the Hapsburgs basically the Hapsburgs are >> constant Amsterdam is the most Protestant city one of the most Protestant like foundations because it was like it's [ __ ] land right it's built on a marsh and they basically constructed a canal from nothing and they all wore the same outfits.

[00:28:55]>> Yes.

[00:28:55]>> Like that garb. I guess it's not anymore cuz now it's uh >> it's filthy den.

[00:28:59]>> It's filthy den of godless.

[00:29:01]>> Yeah. Now, as we explained last episode, the Calvin had set off this huge battle for the soul of France.

[00:29:08]>> Was France going to be a country uh where people didn't wash and spent their days picking pastry flakes out of their pubes? Or was it going to be an actual nation?

[00:29:19]>> Right.

[00:29:19]>> Uh we lost that one.

[00:29:21]>> Yeah.

[00:29:22]>> Tragically.

[00:29:23]>> Tragically. Uh but it does mean that people who work have somewhere to go on holiday. [laughter] >> So it's not all bad.

[00:29:30]>> Yeah.

[00:29:30]>> But now France had a fork in the road.

[00:29:33]Uh and in the uh late latter half of the 16th century >> and they fell asleep at the wheel.

[00:29:38]>> There was a big battle of the so-called French wars of religion. Uh and we're going to be should we play we haven't placed any of this. Should we place the St. Bartholomew's Day Massacre which is 1572 which >> 1572 [clears throat] >> 1572. Um, let's say uh this is after uh Henry VII.

[00:29:58]>> Yes.

[00:29:59]>> Uh before eating with Todd.

[00:30:02]>> Is he the modern day Henry VI?

[00:30:04][laughter] >> Eating with Todd.

[00:30:06]>> Eating with Todd. Yeah.

[00:30:08]>> So Henry the just in court going [laughter] >> pouring gravy on a [ __ ] sandwich.

[00:30:14]>> It's interesting though cuz he he he gets a lot of hate um because uh he's a fat guy. He's a fat guy who who just sort of like eats and the juices go all over his face [laughter] and he doesn't seem to care how disgusting it is. Yeah.

[00:30:28]>> But then firstly, everyone needs to Everyone has a fat guy that they watch eating. You're lying if you >> have your guy.

[00:30:34]>> Everyone has a guy.

[00:30:35]>> He might not be your guy, but you've got someone.

[00:30:37]>> You've got someone. Yeah. It's just a different taste, right? So, everyone's got a fat guy they watch. Okay. Um he uh he also I you know, the first few videos I saw I thought maybe he had Down syndrome, right?

[00:30:48]>> So, I kind of gave him more credit.

[00:30:51]>> [laughter] >> I thought this is really nice and then I realized he didn't and I thought I actually I do think you could eat in a better way.

[00:30:59]>> Sure.

[00:31:00]>> A cleaner way.

[00:31:00]>> Pull yourself together.

[00:31:02]>> Well, just it's it's so you know sometimes I'm in the >> Is he not your fat guy? My fat guy is um is it Ray my takeaway type? Who's that guy? Yeah. go my my fat guy cuz Todd Yeah. it's too slick almost even though he's like it's just too like I feel like I'm being lied to. This guy he sits outside a takeaway with his own setup and it doesn't feel slick. He just has a table and he gets brought a [ __ ] ton of food and he just piles his way through it. It's not quick edited.

[00:31:33]>> No, >> it's just a man >> test cricket >> working his way through.

[00:31:38]>> I'm I'm I'm a huge big John.

[00:31:40]>> Yeah. Look at this. just in some of the ugliest streets in Britain.

[00:31:44]>> It's raining and he's on a trestle table eating [laughter] three portions of fish and chips.

[00:31:49]>> This is my go-to fat guy. So, shout out rate my takeaway. Keep doing what you're doing.

[00:31:53]>> Now, Calvin Calvin had had sort of bequeafd these hugenos.

[00:31:59]>> Bequaf. It's nice.

[00:32:01]>> It's too close to queef, isn't it?

[00:32:02]>> Bequeafd.

[00:32:03]>> Yeah.

[00:32:03]>> Well, I I bequeeafing.

[00:32:05]>> I >> I bequeath him.

[00:32:08]>> Sorry. Who Who just bequaf? be queefing out my my [ __ ] >> Who bequeef in here?

[00:32:12]>> It smells fishy. Who just bequafing?

[00:32:15]>> Do queefs smell.

[00:32:16]>> Sorry.

[00:32:16]>> Do quef beefs don't smell.

[00:32:18]>> You're young.

[00:32:19]>> Okay. I mean, you're you're young.

[00:32:20]You're young.

[00:32:23][laughter] >> Yeah.

[00:32:26]>> You're naive.

[00:32:27]>> You You come back to me in six years and tell me que.

[00:32:29]>> Look, when I was your age, I was saying que don't smell.

[00:32:32]>> Yeah. Come back to me in 10 years and tell me quees don't smell. Yeah.

[00:32:37]Now we need to talk about the hugenos.

[00:32:39]That was my point. Calvin bequeafded >> some France's hugenos.

[00:32:44]>> He queefed out some Hugenos.

[00:32:45]>> He queefed out some Hugenos. Uh and between 1562 and 1598 there were these French wars of religion.

[00:32:52]>> Yeah.

[00:32:52]>> Uh now the hugenos uh are quite they're French Protestants.

[00:32:56]>> I think they're very interesting.

[00:32:57]>> Very interesting contradiction in term.

[00:32:58]But then it's almost like the the blend actually ends up being quite an effective >> because that wherever they go they're sort of like Jewish people wherever they go they're like an incred they're like a small community that's incredibly effective like literally a minute from where I live. Type in Prince Street all of the I don't know if you've been around like East London with those preserved Georgian houses. Those are all Hugeno silk weavers who came to the area. It was a shitty area but then basically made brought all the silk weaving. So like these crazy streets that are completely preserved are all Hugeno houses. Do you know South Africa?

[00:33:30]The Stellenbos wine region? I do know the Bosch. Those that's all set up by the [laughter] >> um uh Yes. Now the Hugenos were the first ever refugees.

[00:33:42]>> Interesting.

[00:33:42]>> That's where >> But they weren't the first ever refugees. They're the first ever people to be called refugees because it's a French word. I think your sort of Protestant view of the world.

[00:33:51]>> These are the first refugees. [laughter] There has been a lot of a lot of war, a lot of displacement has happened before that.

[00:33:57]>> Like I said, 157 >> whatever. Every time people have been persecuted, they just been like, "Well, I'm just [ __ ] I'll just stay here."

[00:34:03]>> Yes. But only Protestants who came up with a [ __ ] word for it because they needed it, right? Cuz they actually didn't stop [ __ ] weeping, you know?

[00:34:12]They didn't sort of sit in self-pity.

[00:34:14]They got on with it, >> right?

[00:34:15]>> Can you let us in? Who are you? We're refugees. Oh, I see what you are now.

[00:34:19]Right. So, uh it's a huge uh it's like 30-year thing. [snorts] Um and Calvinism had become very popular in France amongst the nobility, >> right?

[00:34:29]>> Uh and the queen of Navare became a Calvinist in 1560. I don't know who that is. She's important. Who cares?

[00:34:38]>> Not me.

[00:34:39]>> I don't care. Um anyway, it sets off.

[00:34:43]The thing we need to get to is the St. Bar St Bartholomew's Day Massacre.

[00:34:47]>> Not on St. Bartholomew's Day.

[00:34:48]>> I know. is nothing sacred. [laughter] >> This is a pivotal moment towards the end of the third religious war. There were nine.

[00:34:56]>> Bloody hell.

[00:34:56]>> Bloody hell. It's like Fast and Furious films.

[00:34:59]>> In an attempt to secure the peace, a marriage was planned between uh the King Charles the 9inth sister and the Queen of Navare's son. Now, is the queen of Navari some Spanish woman?

[00:35:12]>> Right. Fine.

[00:35:12]>> Who cares?

[00:35:13]>> So, who cares?

[00:35:15][laughter] Uh so the peace agreement also saw the return of Admiral Gaspar de Colony who's a hugeno to the king's court. So they see this as a way to pate the Protestants and to try and stop the war.

[00:35:30]So they hold this wedding in August 1572 in Paris but it's a red wedding. IT'S A IT'S A TRAP.

[00:35:36]>> IS IT?

[00:35:37]>> YEAH. You know Admiral Akbar is that his name? Is that his name? [laughter] >> Is that his name? I just said that I thought he is Admiral Ean. Oh crap.

[00:35:46]>> Um anyway uh so a few days after the wedding so what they do is all the Hugan aristocracy leaders they all come to Paris to attend the festivities.

[00:35:54]>> Bloody hell.

[00:35:56]>> Right. And then a few days after the wedding uh Colony the admiral the admiral is shot from a window.

[00:36:02]>> So it's not quite it's not on the wedding day.

[00:36:04]>> No but a wedding goes on for like you know it's a festival right.

[00:36:08]>> So uh the assassin escapes. So, it's like a sort of it's early JFK stuff, right?

[00:36:14]>> And the Hugeno leaders demand that the king tries to find the assassin.

[00:36:18]>> Uh, but many believe it's a red it's a false flag and the plot had been organized by the king. Right.

[00:36:23]>> Right. Uh, and so one Hugeno then threatens the king uh or threatens to kill someone else. And the king basically like, "Right, preemptive strike. Lock the doors. Lock the city gates. Let's just [ __ ] kill them all."

[00:36:36]>> [ __ ] trolley dash. Do you remember the Aztec um night of the sad night?

[00:36:41]>> The really sad night.

[00:36:42]>> Note.

[00:36:43]>> Yeah.

[00:36:44]>> Um the sad night.

[00:36:45]>> I remember not >> um they they just butcher everyone.

[00:36:49]>> Yeah.

[00:36:49]>> Uh that's a similar thing that happens in Paris. So on the 24th of August, kill squads are formed uh and the and they kill Colony the Duke at around 4:00 a.m.

[00:37:01]>> and his body is left on the street and it's mutilated by Parisians before being thrown into the Sen.

[00:37:07]>> They're probably [ __ ] trying to make faguar out of it.

[00:37:09]>> They're probably 10,000 Hugenos are killed in Paris.

[00:37:12]>> Now that's the upper estimate, but it's one I'm leading with.

[00:37:15]>> I'm ignoring 2,000.

[00:37:17]>> Look at what Hugenos look like. Like to a French Protestant. How are they swagging it out?

[00:37:21]>> Are they just eating cheddar?

[00:37:22]>> What's the drip saying?

[00:37:23]>> Colony's head is sent to the pope.

[00:37:26]>> Okay.

[00:37:26]>> Is that is that a hugeno?

[00:37:28]>> He's in denim cutoffs.

[00:37:30]>> But that's the problem is it's French Protestant. So >> there's still an element.

[00:37:34]>> There's still an element element of gay.

[00:37:36]>> But what's the look?

[00:37:38]>> Sorry. That looks like me in denim.

[00:37:41]>> That does sort of look like you. That looks like an old This looks like you in 20 years when you finally accepted your sexuality.

[00:37:49]This is when you've you've said I've been living a lie. [laughter] >> All of this sort of like super straight Protestant guy. It's been a it's been me projecting. I'm gay. That's ex It looks exactly like an old gay silver fox.

[00:38:05]>> Me going to Charlie's 50th. [laughter] >> But now are you trying to fit in?

[00:38:09]>> Yeah, I'm trying to fit in. I've had 20 years of going to your party where I'm like is where >> you know what? This time I'm going to >> I'm going to try and go Hi, [snorts] happy birthday.

[00:38:18]M um yeah, if you're not if you're just listening, we're looking at a uh so this is Henry IV who is the French hugeno who ends up I think winning the world religion. Uh he is dressed I mean >> he looks great.

[00:38:31]>> He looks like Peppa Pig and Burkhine, doesn't he? He's got little denim cut offs. Uh he's got little bit of um he's got a camp look in his eye. Uh oh, he's he's always wearing silk briefs actually.

[00:38:43]>> And he's got a little cut cutless.

[00:38:45]>> Yeah, got a little sword. [snorts] Um, so anyway, they they basically butcher all these Protestants in Paris. I mean, you know, I'm starting to understand why I just don't >> something in the air [laughter] in Paris makes me feel at ease. It's it's, you know, >> it's my Awitz.

[00:39:00]>> Sure.

[00:39:02]>> You know, >> yeah.

[00:39:03]>> Why is everyone laughing and drinking and having a look?

[00:39:05]>> Yeah. This is this is a sight of a >> holy it's a horrible horrible place.

[00:39:10]>> Um, it's the violence spreads outside of Paris. He basically sets off a train of reprisal killings. Um 10,000 dead across the country. Uh 200,000 flee France.

[00:39:21]>> This is an interesting side note. The S Ivan the Terrible sent a letter to the king expressing his horror at the violence. Yes. So you know you're doing something >> if a guy called the terrible is going chill out.

[00:39:32]>> Yeah. And the terrible is the guy who who enjoyed putting people in a house and then blowing the house up.

[00:39:37]>> Oh that's quite >> it's just quite fun. There's lot different ways to [ __ ] skin a chicken is there. Skin a [ __ ] rabbit. But that's quite a fun way. You go in that house over there, we won't do anything.

[00:39:47]>> Yeah, >> just kidding.

[00:39:49]>> House gone.

[00:39:50]>> You gone with it.

[00:39:51]>> But all the Hugenos then settle in like South Africa, Ireland, >> and they're one of the most successful immigrant. They're like Ugandan Asians.

[00:39:58]>> Yes, they are. Yeah.

[00:39:59]>> Who's the Hugo Pretty Patel?

[00:40:01]>> Right.

[00:40:02]>> Can we have a look? Who's the most attractive Hugo?

[00:40:03]>> Yeah. So like Hugo immigrant success stories.

[00:40:06]>> Yeah. Pier.

[00:40:07]>> Pier.

[00:40:08]>> Yeah.

[00:40:08]>> Famous Hugenos today.

[00:40:10]>> Yeah.

[00:40:10]>> Yeah. Sure.

[00:40:11]>> See what happens. Nigel Farage.

[00:40:13]>> You joking?

[00:40:14]>> No way.

[00:40:14]>> You joking.

[00:40:16]>> Nigel Farage has got Hugeno ances.

[00:40:20]>> He's a European immigrant.

[00:40:22]>> Farage is is of Hugo origin.

[00:40:25]>> That's why the [ __ ] name Farage.

[00:40:26]>> Simon Leon. [laughter] >> [ __ ] hell.

[00:40:30]>> Warren Buffett.

[00:40:31]>> Charlie Thron.

[00:40:34]Nigel Farage >> has got hugeno ancestry.

[00:40:37]>> Howard Hughes the [ __ ] aviator. So, but this is very this >> Jessica Chastain.

[00:40:42]>> That's very interesting though is that you imagine imagine Farage living in France. It doesn't make sense.

[00:40:49]>> Work. He had to fight.

[00:40:50]>> He had to fight his way out. This is Farage's origin story.

[00:40:55]>> He his his ancestors fled.

[00:40:57]>> We see Farage's Hugo links. Can you just type it in? Let's just get a bit more.

[00:41:01]>> But this makes doesn't this make so much sense? Like to this is you know Protestant Protestant mass protestant >> the only thing they agree on is smoking.

[00:41:08]That's the only thing he has.

[00:41:09]>> His ancestry includes French Hugenos, Protestant refugees who fled persecution in France, settled in England, >> cross the channel to Kent.

[00:41:16]>> His great-grandfather's parents were German. I mean, his wife's German, isn't it?

[00:41:19]>> Yeah.

[00:41:19]>> But that's Isn't that amazing that it's almost like his destiny?

[00:41:22]>> Yeah.

[00:41:22]>> Is to strike back [laughter] >> at France. It makes a lot of sense.

[00:41:29]>> Makes so much sense. I mean, a therapist would have a field day with us, you know.

[00:41:33]>> So, [snorts] the St. Bart's I think I think it's the worst massacre in France, >> right?

[00:41:38]>> Uh so Admiral Colony that that Hugo thrown from a window, decapitated, he's defenistrated, decapitated, castrated, and then dragged through the streets by a mob.

[00:41:48]>> Depends which order you want the >> decapitated to be first.

[00:41:54]>> Yes. Yes. You don't want to be awake for defenestration.

[00:41:57]>> Yeah. Orchestration. I think the worst order of that is castrated, penetrated, then decapitated.

[00:42:03]>> It's like Henry the ex-wife. [laughter] >> Constrated, defenistrated, decapitated.

[00:42:08]>> Um, uh, pregnant women were disembowled.

[00:42:13]>> You should be doing that.

[00:42:14]>> No, no thanks.

[00:42:15]>> Cesarian >> children participated in torturing Protestants. Apparently, the river Sen ran so red with blood that Ruon, the city down the road, they couldn't they all got water poisoning cuz they couldn't drink water. They all died of um cuz they couldn't drink the water cuz it was all full of Protestant blood.

[00:42:33]>> Damn. [snorts] >> Um there was the displayed bodies neighbors, you know, neighbors started just killing Protest since they found them. It's very very sad.

[00:42:42]>> It's the saddest thing I've ever heard in my life.

[00:42:44]>> Saddest thing on the podcast that we've done dealt with so far.

[00:42:46]>> You know, we like to have a laugh.

[00:42:49]>> Some things are not funny. [laughter] >> Why are you laughing?

[00:42:52]>> I think it's important not to make light of serious things for the sake of comedy. No, we can all have a laugh, but some things are just are just sad and and affect people.

[00:43:01]>> No, listen, this we should put a trigger warning at the start of this episode because it's it's a really sad one.

[00:43:06]Okay, I didn't know I didn't know about this and I I cried several times.

[00:43:10]>> Oh god, I can imagine. That must have been really hard for you.

[00:43:12]>> Yeah, I did. It was hard >> and you know it's part of your lived experience as well.

[00:43:15]>> And I will be we will be taking a break for the podcast while I go on a pilgrimage to Hugo areas of France and I will be putting Instagram photos of me touching kissing the turf.

[00:43:28]>> Yeah.

[00:43:29]>> Uh anyway, so by the late 1590s, France is [ __ ] knackered because it just they've already gone for it.

[00:43:37]>> They've gone for it. These constant wars and then there's a Henry I think there's a power struggle between three King Henry's or three Henry's. Two of them kill each other and then Henry IV the um guy in Denm Cutoffs. Yeah. He uh issu he basically is the last one man standing and he is Hugeno but he converts to Catholicism uh in order to basically sacrifice his own religious beliefs for for the sake of the country. Oh interesting and he issues the edict of na uh not the edict of n. It sounds like the edict.

[00:44:06]>> No, that's our thing. That's that's the other word for the operation utri. That was the conclusion to the operation tree was the edict of [laughter] >> right. [snorts] Anyway, the edict of na 1598 which is a revolutionary document because it legalizes two different religions in one state which had been done before but not in a state that was as intensely Catholic as France.

[00:44:28]>> Yeah.

[00:44:28]>> So this is kind of >> so it's not religious freedom but it's two different >> tolerance, religious tolerance. Um and uh so he's Hugano but he sort of sacrificed himself and Catholicism is the state religion but Protestants allowed the right to worship and this is basically >> it's got to be minimal minimal. I mean the reason why Spain is as it is is that they basically wiped all the Protestants out.

[00:44:53]>> Uh and in Italy as well they just they clamped down too hard. [snorts] >> Um 2% 2%.

[00:45:00]>> Yeah. Exactly. Um but uh this is actually quite interesting the edict of na because this is when you start to get uh the idea that the state unity is more important than religious >> uh uniformity.

[00:45:17]>> Yeah. The state's more important than the religion.

[00:45:19]>> So this is the this is the >> it's quite a Protestant idea.

[00:45:22]>> Yes, it is. But this is where you you know there's been so much so many wars for nearly a hundred years and they are they will continue to 1648. But this is where you start to get the sense of like, should we just chill out about the God thing?

[00:45:34]>> Yeah.

[00:45:34]>> And maybe maybe we're more French than we are.

[00:45:37]>> Yeah. Maybe we just we all band together and say, who the [ __ ] are those German pigs?

[00:45:40]>> Yeah.

[00:45:41]>> Hey, none of us wash.

[00:45:42]>> Yeah. Exactly.

[00:45:43]>> What are we doing fighting?

[00:45:44]>> Yeah. [snorts] >> And so 1648 is the birth of the sort of the start of the idea of the nation state, but this is when that starts to initiate. [snorts] Um, >> and then does this lead to 30 Years War, which we were we were planning an episode on, but it was actually too impenetrable.

[00:46:00]>> It's insane. The 30 Years War, >> we don't know anyone involved, and it seems to be the biggest thing happened that we don't know anything about.

[00:46:06]>> It's the 30 years war for like central Europeans is as important to them as like we would learn about the English Civil War. That's our version of it.

[00:46:14]>> But the 30 Years War very quickly, we'll do it we'll do a series on it at some point. 30 Years War 1618, the third deenestration of Prague.

[00:46:22]>> Okay. uh leads to a series of rolling conflicts. There's like a Spanish phase, there's a Dutch phase, there's a Swedish phase, a Danish phase.

[00:46:31]>> It's like Glastonbury. There's just different tents with different things going. There's constantly >> Swedish guy called Adulus. Yes. Who's who's like insane and uh >> this is when Sweden one of the the second time in history that Sweden went full beast mode and then never again.

[00:46:46]>> Uh never again.

[00:46:47]>> Never again. And then and then you have uh basically maybe 20% of the population of Germany die in the conflict and it's takes them 100 years >> maybe more than that to recover. But the piece of West Faria 1648 basically settles the Protestant Catholic issue in that every state is allowed to choose >> what they want to follow.

[00:47:08]>> Right, >> Charlie?

[00:47:09]>> So what actually why is it called the Reformation? What actually got reformed?

[00:47:13]>> The church.

[00:47:15]>> In what way? I feel like we've we've we've quite comprehensively dealt >> Yeah.

[00:47:20]>> with kind of the main thing that we talked about.

[00:47:22]>> Yeah.

[00:47:24]>> What what what do you think happened?

[00:47:26]>> Uh I I honestly don't know. [laughter] >> Do you know the difference between Catholics and Protestants?

[00:47:33]>> Uh the Catholics are a bit more serious, but the Protestants are more boring.

[00:47:38]>> I don't think so.

[00:47:38]>> What have you?

[00:47:39]>> They like chains. Catholics like jewelry.

[00:47:41]>> Yeah. Protestants like cricket.

[00:47:44]>> Yeah.

[00:47:44]>> Yeah. sort of it's more English than Protestant. But >> uh and the Catholics are more emotional and the Protestants are more repressed.

[00:47:51]Yes. Yeah, that's true.

[00:47:52]>> But I don't really know.

[00:47:53]>> I feel like we deal with this in the sort of first five minutes of episode one of the series >> and we we mention it regularly throughout >> what actually got reformed then to what from what to what Catholic to Protestant.

[00:48:01]>> Yeah.

[00:48:02]>> Because >> the Catholic Church didn't really exist.

[00:48:04]It was more there was reformation made to the church. Some people thought [laughter] we don't need these reformations. Some people thought we did and then they came up with Catholics and Protestants to represent that. So what was happening before that?

[00:48:14]>> It was just the western church.

[00:48:16]>> It was just the church just Christianity.

[00:48:18]>> And has there been any more reformations?

[00:48:21]>> Uh reformation.

[00:48:22]>> Well, yes, there there's several prophism can now break off into loads.

[00:48:26]>> You know, we talk about Calvinism Proletariat.

[00:48:28]>> No, that's No, that's the wrong word.

[00:48:29]That's a different thing.

[00:48:30]>> Presbyterian.

[00:48:31]>> Ignore Proletariat is a kind of communist idea not involved in this story. No.

[00:48:37]>> Well, they are probably without knowing >> accidental irrelevant. Yeah.

[00:48:41]Coincidence. Incidental.

[00:48:42]>> Yeah, incidental. Thank you.

[00:48:44]>> Yes, >> there's no uni unified church of pescatarianism.

[00:48:49]>> We did say before this episode, actually, Charlie, if you want to ask some questions, it' be quite helpful because this is a bit more of a chewy topic.

[00:48:54]>> Yes, we if you got questions about the topic rather than >> kind of help because we're also trying to work our way through it.

[00:49:00]>> What was performed? What's the reformation?

[00:49:01]>> Well, we Yeah, >> we just answered it then.

[00:49:04]>> Yeah.

[00:49:04]>> Okay. Well, thank God it's over.

[00:49:08][laughter] >> Do you mean the Reformation or you mean this series? All of it.

[00:49:12]>> Yeah. Well, I think I think, you know, if we're going to give you any feedback, >> Yeah.

[00:49:17]>> it's that you know, maybe spending less time finding images of men swallowing pooing condoms [laughter] >> and actually sort of maybe engaging with the history >> to get I I will say to get to four end of four the fourth hour and for you to say what got reformed is quite deflating.

[00:49:38]>> Well, I'm your audience. Well, that's why I don't think you are, >> but you are. You know, it's a reminder to never leave a man behind, isn't it?

[00:49:45]>> You're the nearest us.

[00:49:46]>> You've got you. [laughter] Yeah, >> I don't know if you're an audience.

[00:49:49]>> You're not an audience, but >> you're just geographically the nearest to us while we're doing, >> but it's a reminder that you can only go as fast as your slowest member of society, right? Um, and I I I guess it's quite deflating to think that we got to the end of this and there would be a listener going, "So, what what is the reformation?" [laughter] Because I feel like I feel like we actually engage with it. Who's Martin Luther?

[00:50:09]>> Uh, I have a pool.

[00:50:12]>> I I have a pool.

[00:50:13]>> I honestly think I've learned the least in this one.

[00:50:15]>> Okay, good. Well, that's a great way to end the series.

[00:50:18]>> Yeah. Now, so that's been the reformation. Um, or has it? I don't know. Let us know if you um if you have an idea. I feel like we engage with it quite a lot. I think it's very interesting.

[00:50:27]>> Discuss some pretty interesting ideas >> to see, you know, who I think it explains so much of culture.

[00:50:33]>> Yeah. your own psychology, family history.

[00:50:35]>> Explains my prejudices entirely. It can always be mapped onto what I think about most places in the world, how far the reformation spread.

[00:50:42]>> Um, >> I don't think it takes an expert though to read between the lines with your I don't think it's >> there's no reading between the lines.

[00:50:48]That's what I'm saying. It's tracing over >> It's getting rid of reading between the lines. Read what's on the line.

[00:50:53]>> Read I don't like them because they're Catholic.

[00:50:56]>> Um, it's tracing over over a racist slur that I've written. [laughter] Anyway, uh if you'd like more, we'll be dealing with the Arish on the Patreon, >> which is more interesting than I thought it would be. Actually, >> it is very interesting. Uh that's Annabaptists. Um and we'll also uh I think tomorrow on the Patreon, we are releasing our live special, the JFK assassination, recorded at the Hank the Empire last year.

[00:51:20]>> It was at the end of a eight nine day tour.

[00:51:23]>> Nine day tour. Uh some great stuff in there. It's like an hour and a half special that's for sale. If you don't want to join the Patreon, uh, you can just buy it as a one-off.

[00:51:32]>> Damn.

[00:51:33]>> Um, >> how much?

[00:51:34]>> I don't know yet. I haven't decided.

[00:51:36]>> Two quid.

[00:51:36]>> Just It'll be more expensive than signing up to the Patreon.

[00:51:39]>> Sure. But less less expensive than like a curry or >> Yeah. Less expensive than the curry.

[00:51:43]Yeah. [clears throat] Yeah. Thank you.

[00:51:44]>> To to place this >> to place this. It'll be more than £3 a month. It will be less than the price of >> It won't be It won't be less expensive than the [laughter] the street food curries where they chop chicken with their toenails. It will not give you the same effects as a an unlicensed street vendor in in Bombay.

[00:52:02]>> Right.

[00:52:03]>> Okay. If it does, I'm not taking no responsibility.

[00:52:06]>> I can't say what you've eaten when you're watching.

[00:52:08]>> To be fair, when we made when we edited the special, we didn't wash our hands.

[00:52:11]>> No, that is true. And I did use my feet for some of it. [laughter] Anyway, that's on the Patreon. And we'll see you next week for a brand new topic from all of us here at Finn Versus History. Goodbye.

[00:52:19]>> Goodbye.

[00:52:31]>> [music]