BRITISH GIRL'S FIRST TIME WATCHING * Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels * MOVIE REACTION!!

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[00:00:00]All right, Rodney my son, we are back with another British classic by all accounts. Yes, another Guy Ritchie one.

[00:00:07]I know he's still not hit you up about starring in his next new big feature film, has he? [ __ ] rude, that. Like, I'm not being funny, Mr. Ritchie, but do you know who he is?

[00:00:21]Hello, my lovely jubbly lot. Welcome and welcome back to the channel. It's wonderful to have you here today. We are back today to watch another Guy Ritchie movie, and this one is his very first.

[00:00:31]If you haven't already, please do go check out my reaction to Snatch. I had such such a good time watching that, like, honest to Christ. Think actually is one of my new favorite movies of all time. But, other than that, there's no cosplay for today, so there's been no further research done for this movie reaction. So, it's definitely going to be a completely blind reaction today.

[00:00:51]I'm very much looking forward to getting into it. If it has anything like the same vibe as Snatch, your girl's going to love it. Thank you again for joining me today. Do go ahead and give the video a like if you liked it by the end.

[00:01:02]Please, please, please, subscribe to the channel. Your girl is trying to get to 100,000 subscribers. Do leave a comment and let me know what you think of the movie and the reaction. And, if you want to be an extra special babe, then please do consider heading over to Patreon or YouTube memberships for full-length reactions, behind-the-scenes, early access to the videos I put here on YouTube, and a little bit extra. I would appreciate it so much. But, without too much further ado, my lovely jubbly lot, let's get into it. This is Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Oh, and it's 1998. Let's go.

[00:01:38]Ska [music] Films.

[00:01:40]Right, let's sort the buyers from the spires. Oh, it's Jason Statham again in this.

[00:01:45]Is it the same character? Oh, no.

[00:01:47]I don't think they are linked, are they?

[00:01:49]You see, this guy never seen daylight, moonlight, Israelite.

[00:01:53]>> [laughter] >> Penny by the gaslight. Got more than 10 pound, I can tell you. Oh, miss I miss like old-fashioned like market stalls.

[00:02:04]As long as my arm. I wish it was as long as something else.

[00:02:09]So 10 pounds. That's a bargain. I'll take one. Left leg, right leg, your body will follow.

[00:02:15]They call it walking. Treat the wife.

[00:02:17]Treat somebody else's wife.

[00:02:18]>> They are treacle. Hold on, you want one as well? Okay, darling. Show me a bit of life then.

[00:02:24]>> [laughter] >> Oh my god. I will miss old market guys.

[00:02:27]No, he's coming back later when I've sold out. Is that guy in the crowd like his little mate working the crowd with him? There's October cabbages. Fight causes. [music] >> [gasps] >> Oh, [ __ ] Pack up, pack up, pack up cuz here come the po-po.

[00:02:42]>> [laughter] >> Woo, go on then, lads.

[00:02:47]Yeah, I'm going to love this again.

[00:02:50]Oh, it's um bricked up, but I don't know if it's going to be bricked up. You could say that his days of selling moody goods on street corners are numbered.

[00:02:58]Do they just use the same actors?

[00:03:03][ __ ] Lock, stock, and two smoking barrels.

[00:03:13]Look, what are you talking about?

[00:03:15]Tom, what have you been eating? I've been telling them that.

[00:03:17]>> Enough.

[00:03:19]How rude.

[00:03:20][ __ ] Tom. I thought it included the amp. I'll throw in one of these telephones if you like. I hope it includes the speakers.

[00:03:26]It doesn't include the speakers. It doesn't include the amp.

[00:03:29]>> [laughter] >> What else do I get with it? You get a gold plated Rolls-Royce. You get a [ __ ] nothing. Seems expensive. Well, this seems to be a waste of my time.

[00:03:37]That is 900 knicker in any shop you're lucky enough to find one in, and you're complaining about 200. As if. Come on, mate. 700's off. [ __ ] knicker. I think I'll keep it. All right, all right. Keep your Alans off.

[00:03:49]You know what? I changed my mind.

[00:03:51]It's a ton. Jesus Christ, you could a dozen men.

[00:03:55]Gosh. I thought they were like tennis balls or something. You do not buy in stereos, Nick. Finance revolutions.

[00:04:01]>> [laughter] >> And certainly not when you've got Liberia's deficit in your sky.

[00:04:06]Liberia's deficit.

[00:04:07]>> [laughter] >> Oh my god. I'm going to enjoy this. And he's the entrepreneur of the bunch. Nick here, however, has made it his business to have all 20 fat little fingers and toes >> [laughter] >> in every dirty bent and stolen pie in London. All 20 of them. That's my 25 grand. It took me a long time to earn that. So, you treat it with respect.

[00:04:27]That's 25 grand. All right. I like the style that this is shot in. It's a bit like grainy. What have you cameras?

[00:04:34]Stupid. Stupid. Hm. Hm. There was more small hairy armed things in your fruit than there was fruit. Keep your fingers out of my soup. Soup is called Soup because he likes to keep his hands clean of any unlawful behavior. Okay. He represents the more sensible side of the floor.

[00:04:54]You sure you can afford 25? I can afford it as long as I see it again, if that's what you mean. Yeah. Looks like it's time to make that call to Harry.

[00:05:02]I don't like seeing pigs' heads and stuff like that. Gives me the ick.

[00:05:08]Harry's sex shop. Now these are to take a seat at this card table. The man who decides whether you can play or not is this man, Harry. Or as some, including himself, like to call him, Hatchet Harry. Hatchet Harry. 100 grand. Well, if you've got it, you've got it. Now, if you don't mind.

[00:05:24]What's this Harry like, then? He's a [ __ ] thief. Okay. Harry the Baptist.

[00:05:29]The Baptist got his name by drowning people for hatchet.

[00:05:33]Oh, all right. [ __ ] hell, they called him the Baptist.

[00:05:36]Harry is the side of the business runs harmoniously. Oh, look at that still. He seems to make cards transparent. He's got blood on >> All right. All right. So, we can say he's good. He's a [ __ ] liability.

[00:05:49]What do you think of these? We're selling hundreds. Oh my gosh. What's it for? Spanking.

[00:05:56]Of [laughter] course.

[00:06:04]It's like I almost feel like I recognize it, but looks a little bit purpose built though. It's 100 grand to the pound. So why the [ __ ] you counting it? So a reasonable return should be in the region of 120 grand going on previous experience.

[00:06:16]You're fat. And look as though you should be, but you're not.

[00:06:19]>> What? How is he fat? No offense, he's a rake. Handy for the tube, great electrics. I can see why you moved in.

[00:06:25]Don't knock it. It's cheap. And nobody wants to live next to the people we're next to. What do you mean? He means they're thieving bastards. Oh. No, it's only thick base boards. Oh, as if they can actually hear what's going on. Is that a next door shut or Oh my god. You find a job worth doing, you'll find your share improving. You got a problem with that?

[00:06:46]Sure. A lot of nerve. The place is a dump.

[00:06:52]Oh.

[00:06:53]Find ourselves in a bush. I have a strong suspicion we should have been Is that supposed to be weird? Oh, no offense. That looks like the fakest [ __ ] I've ever seen in my entire life. Here's prize. She'd love to find your penis for a pasting mate and you keep smoking.

[00:07:06]Wait, they look related. That that looks plastic. No offense. If that's real, right, I'll take it all back, but I'm just saying those weed leaves look fake as [ __ ] All right, Willy?

[00:07:18]Does it look like I'm all right? Oh, yeah. What the [ __ ] going on with this girl? Charles, why have we got that cage? She needs a lie down, I think.

[00:07:25]That's right, security. So what's the point in having it if we're not going to [ __ ] use it? Well, I would have used it, Winston, but this is Willy.

[00:07:33]But you didn't know it was him until you opened the door, did you?

[00:07:36]Chill, Winston.

[00:07:39]It's me. Winston. What's the problem?

[00:07:42]The problem is, Willie, that Charles and yourself are not the quickest of cats at the best of times. So, just do as I say and keep THE [ __ ] CAGE LOCKED. OKAY.

[00:07:51]Where the [ __ ] are they and have they had break-ins before to have a big ass cage in front of the front door? You went out 6 hours ago to buy a money counter and you come back with a semi-conscious Gloria and a bag of [laughter] fertilizer.

[00:08:03]>> My god. Alarm bells are ringing, Willie.

[00:08:06]Oh. Willie, what you been doing, Willie?

[00:08:09]>> [laughter] >> Hey, get your ass back out, you [ __ ] [ __ ] Willie's in a >> [laughter] >> We grow copious amounts of ganja, yeah?

[00:08:18]Yeah. Ganja, yeah. And you're carrying a wasted girl and a bag of fertilizer. Oh my god, yeah.

[00:08:28]If anyone sees you going in there, where are they exactly? Is that girl okay?

[00:08:34]Look at this little one.

[00:08:37]No, he's not part of the [ __ ] crew.

[00:08:40]How long's he been in this?

[00:08:42]20 minutes? That's his son. He's carrying a bag.

[00:08:46]Let's pay him a little visit, then, shall we?

[00:08:48]Big Chris steps for her.

[00:08:50]>> big Chris. The only thing he cares more about >> wish they were the same characters. is his son and heir, little Chris. Little Chris.

[00:08:57]Aw. Look at him in the same car as him and everything. But, you shouldn't be getting your child involved in this [ __ ] my guy. Come on now.

[00:09:04]This is one of them all power jobs, isn't it? OH MY GOD. OH!

[00:09:10]GOT SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU, JOHN. Jesus Christ. Oh.

[00:09:14]No blaspheming.

[00:09:16]Tell me, John, how can you be concentrating [laughter] on improving this lovely tan when you've got more pressing priorities at hand?

[00:09:24]Tell Harry.

[00:09:25]Ooh.

[00:09:26]>> Well, Mr. Harry, I don't suppose there's any chance of you lifting your son, little Chris, is there? Oh.

[00:09:33]It's not Paul. [ __ ] hell, John.

[00:09:36]Oh my god. You shouldn't be swearing.

[00:09:39]>> Don't you swear like that again, son.

[00:09:40]You wish you had.

[00:09:40]>> [laughter] >> If they can't use it around you, you can't use it, babe. And by the time this tan's faded, you won't have paid.

[00:09:50]Ooh.

[00:09:53]You never would have paid. Who would pay for [ __ ] I'm really enjoying this so far. You're supposed to be getting your rest in, boy.

[00:09:59]You play cards tonight, son?

[00:10:01]With Harry? Oh, don't be silly, Dad.

[00:10:04]I wouldn't have anything to do with that. Mhm. Lies.

[00:10:08]What did he under grade? He's got some of these your mates. I mean, they're like brothers. And JD's his dad, and I own his old property. Lock, stock, and [ __ ] lock. You can get this under control now. It seems that Louis has got a lot of money.

[00:10:23]>> That actually might be like a Britishism that I don't know. It'll come to me.

[00:10:26]>> Make sure you bring everything from inside the gun cabinet.

[00:10:29]>> it'll come to me.

[00:10:31]>> [laughter] >> Don't want to say the wrong thing. Can't be asked.

[00:10:34]Oh.

[00:10:35]Hi. How's it going? Love the >> [music] >> diamond thong. It's got to be comfortable. It's got to be comfortable.

[00:10:41]>> where?

[00:10:43]>> [laughter] >> Where was where? Who the [ __ ] knows with that stood in front of you?

[00:10:48]Make sure you bring everything from inside the gun cabinet.

[00:10:52]There better be something there for us.

[00:10:54]It's a [ __ ] stately home. Okay. What the [ __ ] do we know about antiques?

[00:11:00]>> [laughter] >> We're not post officers. We steal cars.

[00:11:02]>> What the [ __ ] do we know about antiques, mate?

[00:11:05]Good old liver police.

[00:11:07]So, who's the guv? Who are we doing this for?

[00:11:10]You're doing it for me. It's all you need to know. Yeah. It's on a need-to-know basis, [ __ ] >> [laughter] >> Like one of those James Bond films.

[00:11:21]>> Oh my god, bless him. Call me when you're done.

[00:11:24]Tell him >> Okay.

[00:11:26]I think I don't even remember like half of that information when they were stood there dancing like that In front of them.

[00:11:34]I ate these little Southern Fairies.

[00:11:37]Southern Fairies.

[00:11:41]Lord have mercy. He has been playing cards since he could lift them up. It's that he's good with reading people's reactions, no matter how subtle. Okay.

[00:11:49]He's an empath.

[00:11:52]The invitations, you know, four pretty white pieces of paper with our names on.

[00:11:57]Well, we got 100,000 bits of paper with the Queen's head on. Will that do? That only buys you one ticket.

[00:12:02]>> No one in here tonight looks like card players, and I do mean no one. What you going to do? Is he going to win though, or is he going to [ __ ] this up big time?

[00:12:09]>> Evening, Fraiser. Done, Phil. Bit dramatic, isn't it?

[00:12:12]>> You must be Eddie, JD's son. You must be Harry. Sorry, didn't know your father.

[00:12:18]>> [laughter] >> You just might meet him if you carry on like that. Oh, back it in. HE'S NOT PISSING ABOUT.

[00:12:24]>> [screaming] >> WHAT THE FETCH?

[00:12:30]That doesn't concern any of yous.

[00:12:32]Okay. All right.

[00:12:35]Second in the neighborhood. What I was going to say before, but I'm not sure if I'm wrong or not, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. When I think of Lock, Lock and Stock, I think of like I just spent 120 quid on it. keys and stock, I think of like >> over it. You're very much mistaken. the house and the the contents. I just think that's what it means given the situation that they're in as well. And then the the Two Smoking Barrels is just the guns that they're after. I think that's it, but I could be wrong.

[00:12:59]>> [laughter] >> Now, don't [ __ ] around, fellas. You all know the rules, and you know I won't stand for it.

[00:13:07]>> [laughter] >> No messing about.

[00:13:12]What are you doing? Put that back.

[00:13:14]What do you have to rob the guns? Yeah, and whatever they want in it.

[00:13:19]Stolen home. But I thought they were supposed to get something out of it as well, like they are there to rob the guns, but I thought they were meant to get like a cheeky little reward out of this job.

[00:13:30]Mhm, was that a third pair of shoes or did I just [ __ ] see that then? What's that? You asked for a cocktail. No, I asked you to give me a refreshing drink.

[00:13:38]OH MY GOSH.

[00:13:40]>> [laughter] >> Oh holy [ __ ] You want to play or what?

[00:13:45]>> Oh my god. There's a whole [ __ ] pineapple in it. What thought this was a pub?

[00:13:49]This is a suburban pub.

[00:13:51]Take that tip. Excuse me. Can you turn >> The American guy though, I don't think I'm going to be happy with that. There was a little umbrella drink. That's just what he was after.

[00:14:01]No. Mhm. So it's a midfield.

[00:14:06]>> [laughter] >> Oh my god. What are you doing? I am trying to find out where THEY KEEP THEIR MONEY. Oh my god. You [ __ ] Can't you see these people have got no money? They can't even afford new furniture. They were supposed to I thought the house was empty. Every time we do a job, you have to go being in people's feet. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

[00:14:27]OH, [ __ ] OH.

[00:14:34]OH, leave him alone.

[00:14:37]>> nearly took my man's head clean off with that. You all right, Kenny? Kenny? Is he not all right? Shut up.

[00:14:43]>> [gasps] >> Just his hair.

[00:14:48]Them two are giving the burglars from Home Alone, the wet bandits.

[00:14:52]And the fact that Annie is like burning people's feet every time we go. It's like they're the one who needed to leave the taps on.

[00:15:05]It can read people. What?

[00:15:09]Who's helping him? The fork. Wait. No, is he behind it? Yeah. It's 20 grand open. No.

[00:15:19]I fold. Don't go was that hour at once, boy. Come.

[00:15:23]There.

[00:15:24]>> there'd be no stuff, buddy.

[00:15:25]>> Did you get those guns? You want to see what they did TO PAULIE GOTTI?

[00:15:30]>> [laughter] >> HE'S IN SHOCK, RIGHT?

[00:15:34]WE GOT [laughter] THEM.

[00:15:36]GOOD. I'll speak to you later. Oh my gosh.

[00:15:42]Oh, what dirty bastard's cheating, though? He's going to lose in it, cuz it's rigged.

[00:15:47]This is a nice little sequence.

[00:15:50]I've got to say I really enjoy the style of of like the Guy Ritchie movies I've seen so far, Snatch and this. But, you know what I mean? It's like his style. I can see that now.

[00:16:04]And the voice overs and stuff as well, I love it.

[00:16:07]Oh, [ __ ] Listen, mate. You joined in, although it is rigged. Get back.

[00:16:14]Wait for it.

[00:16:16]You ain't getting [ __ ] mate. Come on, mate.

[00:16:19]I hope it does [ __ ] break.

[00:16:21]>> [gasps] >> [ __ ] bastard.

[00:16:23]>> [laughter] >> This language is so mean in these movies.

[00:16:29]>> [laughter] >> Excuse me. No. I hope it is.

[00:16:35]I'll take you to the cleaners.

[00:16:38]Oh, no. Is he noticing that? Like the tapping. 20 grand, open. 30,000, back to you. Already, Eddie. 50 grand.

[00:16:47]>> No.

[00:16:49]He's going to lose all 100 grand. Woah. Woah. Woah.

[00:16:53]>> No. 250. No.

[00:16:56]>> raise. [ __ ] idiot. That's 150 on my 100. And is there anything else you want to say? I don't have enough to continue.

[00:17:04]It's a loan, or we see both your cards.

[00:17:06]I will. Oh, no. You will what? I will loan you the money. No, cuz he knows that he's I know he's going to win, you know? No, I think I'd rather just turn up. Click on. Click on.

[00:17:18]>> I'm not interested in what you would rather. I want to keep going. No, you're going to be under him cuz he's going to [ __ ] win and then you're going to be in his debt. Oh.

[00:17:26]>> [groaning] >> 250 grand Read this. Read it. You need 500 grand TO SEE ME.

[00:17:33]THAT'S IF I want to see you. [ __ ] it in.

[00:17:35]Well, you're going to have a problem carrying on, aren't you? Oh. I'LL SEE YOU.

[00:17:39]>> [screaming] >> OKAY. OH, [ __ ] HELL. For loaning you this, I expect [music] my money back within a week. A week? No.

[00:17:48]That's Sunday, okay? You're [ __ ] No.

[00:17:52]Clocked on that this is suss as [ __ ] Oh, you should have clocked on that it was suspicious.

[00:18:04]Oh, he's going to have three.

[00:18:11]Now, let's see his [ __ ] cards.

[00:18:14]The worst.

[00:18:19]Oh my god. Yep, you would be [ __ ] but it wants to be [ __ ] sick.

[00:18:28]Cuz it's their money as well, not just yours and they've got to find 500 [ __ ] K or somewhere. Already had 100, he's got to find 400 K. You [ __ ] it.

[00:18:36]You [ __ ] it big time. I'm surprised he's still got legs underneath him.

[00:18:42]I bet he never wants to play him. There we go, being sick. I bet he never wants to play another card game in his life.

[00:18:47]Oh, no. So, I'm going to give you 1 week to find it. Otherwise, I will take a finger.

[00:18:57]Oh my god, so >> when you run out of fingers Fingers, yeah, 10 toes. and there's bar and who knows what then. All right, my son. Oh, you can't. You absolute bastards.

[00:19:07]Setting him up like that. No, they've got to find out somehow. Well, something's going to happen. I don't believe this is going to end. [music] Absolutely [ __ ] Oh my god, they're going to see his face. Oh my god.

[00:19:18]He then proceeded to explain the unfortunate position they were in.

[00:19:22]>> Oh.

[00:19:23]Harry showed it was their money on the table, so it was also their debt off the table. Oh gosh. If he said he wanted to settle the debt on his own, it would have been a lie. I wish to Christ he would have let me settle the debt on my own. Cuz he knew Yeah, right. Do you wish? You thought.

[00:19:40]In a bath tub.

[00:19:41]>> Listen, you gave your money as well. It was a gamble. This is the thing. You've got just as much [ __ ] chance to lose it, if not more, than you have to win it. You have to be prepared to lose it.

[00:19:52]Let me tell you about that, you Harry.

[00:19:54]Once there was this geezer called Smiffy Robinson.

[00:19:56]>> Actually Harry.

[00:19:57]>> Who worked for Harry.

[00:19:58]But it was rumored that he was on the take. Harry's invited Smiffy round for an explanation. Within a minute, Harry's lost his rag.

[00:20:05]Reached out for the nearest thing at hand, which happened to be a 15-in black rubber [ __ ] OH. SURE.

[00:20:11]>> [laughter] >> OH MY GOD. IMAGINE that being your death.

[00:20:20]>> [laughter] >> Oh my god.

[00:20:24]>> [laughter] >> Oh my gosh.

[00:20:29]Being into death by a big black dildo is [ __ ] pissed.

[00:20:33]>> [laughter] >> That's tickled me, that has. That has tickled me.

[00:20:38]>> [laughter] [gasps] >> What a way to go.

[00:20:42]Oh, funny. Funny.

[00:20:45]Golf. The best way to spoil a good walk.

[00:20:48]I think this is more like how I expected um Snatch to be. Like, I found Snatch [ __ ] funny like every 3 seconds. I expected it to be a little bit more like serious {slash} crimey than as much comedy as we got in Snatch. I expected it to be a bit more like this where you get like I think I finished a balance of like a bit more serious great.

[00:21:08]>> As I said, I'll have a swing just to make sure.

[00:21:11]Give me a five iron, John. The [ __ ] The [ __ ] On the floor. Now, keep still.

[00:21:17]You know, >> [gasps] >> not on his tongue as well.

[00:21:22]Oh, [ __ ] This is unusual. No idea.

[00:21:27]Can't remember the last time I saw this kind of torture technique in a movie.

[00:21:31]Yes, Governor. You were saying? It's in THE FIREPLACE. JUST PULL IT OUT. IT'S IN THE BOTTOM. Let me down. I think you want to have a look at this.

[00:21:39]You're going to let me down.

[00:21:41]Now, still.

[00:21:44]>> [music] >> Oh my [ __ ] what they going to do to him?

[00:21:47]>> [screaming] >> Okay.

[00:21:53]What is he like? It's only 12:00. This guy on the end there is giving Ian Beale. And if you're not from the UK and you don't watch EastEnders, you won't know who that is, but he's giving Ian Beale or a relative of Ian Beale. Who is it?

[00:22:07]We have got security for a reason, Willie.

[00:22:10]Chill, Winston.

[00:22:12]>> [laughter] >> Chill, Winston.

[00:22:17]Why does he only say Winston in that way?

[00:22:20]>> [laughter] >> Never saw you, did you? Holy [ __ ] is she alive?

[00:22:26]Boo.

[00:22:28][ __ ] me. The [ __ ] Don't get that close to her. Sorry, fellas, but that stupid cow scared the [ __ ] life out of me.

[00:22:34]Oh, yeah, it's her fault. Never mind.

[00:22:36]Can you uh just sit down, stay out of the way?

[00:22:39][ __ ] hell. How much is it you want?

[00:22:42]I'm at after an half weight.

[00:22:46]Give some gear, Jay.

[00:22:51]He uses it as a [ __ ] cushion.

[00:22:56]The odds are 100 to 1. All as we need is five grand.

[00:23:01]Oh my god, you're not going to get it [ __ ] back by gambling more money away that you don't [ __ ] have. Where's Eddie? The bottom of a bottle, and has been for 2 days. It hit him hard. Has he? He's the one that [ __ ] did it.

[00:23:15]Listen to this one.

[00:23:16]You open up a company called Arse Ticklers [ __ ] Fan Club. You what?

[00:23:21]>> [laughter] >> What the [ __ ] Right.

[00:23:26]>> [laughter] >> does what no other dildo can do in two now. Oh my god.

[00:23:31]Guaranteed results or your money back, all that bollocks. Now, these dildos cost 25 quid a pop. These dildos? You send back the check for 25 pound from the other company name, Arse Ticklers [ __ ] Fan Club. Now, you see how many people cash that check. Ah, cuz they've got to go to the bank with it. I'm sure the bank manager to know they tickle arses and they're not paying in checks.

[00:23:53]Yeah, but it's not a terrible idea.

[00:23:56]Probably no more THAN 4 WEEKS.

[00:23:58]PROBABLY NO MORE than [ __ ] 12 months.

[00:24:01]Well, it's still a good idea. Oh my god.

[00:24:04]>> [laughter] >> Still a great business idea.

[00:24:08]You shouldn't steal from people, but it was like clever idea.

[00:24:12]>> [laughter] >> I don't know. [ __ ] [ __ ] iron in his nose. Is that what people do? You guys got to realize who this chap is.

[00:24:19]Might look a bit silly, but he's a [ __ ] lunatic. Okay. Four public school boys off the shite. Oh no, they're going to like rob him or something.

[00:24:31]Oh, what if like someone's going to be in there? I forgot it was just that cupboard. I thought someone were going to be in there. My car won't be stolen, can it?

[00:24:38]Think about it.

[00:24:40]What are you going to wear? I'm allowed to cash in shoe boxes. What about security?

[00:24:43]Stop, they are going to rob it. They're not suspicious.

[00:24:46]If I don't arm nobody, nobody arms me stuff. No well, I can get back to you.

[00:24:50]Even if I could, they'd be too [ __ ] scared. I'm a geezer.

[00:24:54]He's a geezer. I can him from somewhere.

[00:24:57]What's all the flapping >> You told the old man yet?

[00:25:00]Hoping I won't need to. Now listen carefully.

[00:25:05]They're going to heist the heist.

[00:25:10]Hello boys. Harry.

[00:25:12]Hello my son. Do you want a lolly?

[00:25:15]You suck you nonce.

[00:25:17]Oh my god. Oh my god.

[00:25:20]>> [laughter] >> all right.

[00:25:23]Oh my god stop offering little boys lollipops then.

[00:25:29]Like he does [ __ ] best. Poor young fellow's got in deeper than a naked handle. Now he owes me half a million pound.

[00:25:35]Home game. They're going to do it. Oh god.

[00:25:39]Right. He didn't want to do it cuz his hands are clean. As soon as they come back we'll be prepared, waiting and they're armed. What was that? Armed.

[00:25:51]Oh yeah.

[00:25:52]Armed with what? Uh bad breath, colorful language.

[00:25:56]>> [laughter] >> A minute ago this was the safest job in the world. Now it's turning into a bad day in Bosnia.

[00:26:05]>> [laughter] >> Not a bad day in Bosnia. Has he got >> All we have to do is find out who's carrying them. So I assume the same one will be carrying them when they come back. And what did I say about assumption being the brother of all [ __ ] ups? Nah.

[00:26:19]>> [laughter] >> Brother mother.

[00:26:24]If you have a better idea how to get 500,000 pounds in the next few days, let us know. He ain't got a [ __ ] Oh my gosh. He's some [ __ ] up skunk class A.

[00:26:37]Class A [ __ ] up skunk. Do you know anyone? I know a man, yes. Not that madman with an afro.

[00:26:44]Nothing to do with him. You won't have to. Just get me a sample. No can do.

[00:26:49]What's that? Close to Kathmandu.

[00:26:52]>> [laughter] >> A place near Kathmandu. It's kosher.

[00:26:56]It's Christmas. The Jews don't celebrate Christmas, Tom.

[00:26:59]Never mind that. I'm going to need some artillery, too. This is a bit heavy.

[00:27:02]This is London, not the Lebanon.

[00:27:05]>> [laughter] >> I don't know whether they're going to get him some as well, Nick. But if it is what he says it is, I'll take it off him for 3 and 1/2 grand a key. I don't want to see it after a sample. I don't want to touch it after a sample.

[00:27:19]All right. I love that he's eating a rocket lolly.

[00:27:22]If the milk turns out to be sour, I ain't the kind of [ __ ] to drink it.

[00:27:28]Do you know what I mean?

[00:27:29]I LOVE HIM.

[00:27:33]I WISH HE DIDN'T.

[00:27:35]>> [laughter] >> YOU KNOW, RORY, HE'S NOT TO BE UNDERESTIMATED, but you've got to look past the cute and cuddly thing. Yeah, but he's hard as bollocks. Rory's Roger Lion busted. I was going to say is it the the guy that they asked to turn the TV down?

[00:27:48]>> He's watching the Custed Sice, switches the channel over. A fat geezer's north opens. And he wanders up and turns the laser over. So, calm as a coma, picks up a fire extinguisher, walks straight past the jam rolls ready for action, and plonks it outside the entrance. That's [ __ ] it. Oh, is this the guy that ran out on fire?

[00:28:09]>> fatty.

[00:28:12]He flicks a flaming match into his bird's nest. Is from the other day. And [laughter] face turns back to his game.

[00:28:19]That's why they said don't ask him to turn TV down.

[00:28:23]I like that they circled back to that, cuz I was wondering like You really supposed to write that.

[00:28:32]>> [laughter] [gasps] >> So, the next time we do a job like this, we're going to want more money, buddy.

[00:28:37]I'm going to need a hairbrush.

[00:28:38]>> the post offices and cars. [ __ ] that.

[00:28:40]Where's the others? Oh, no, was that not all of it?

[00:28:42]>> Stop [ __ ] around. The others, the old ones. Still there.

[00:28:45]>> Well, there was a couple of old animal lock muskets that the butler was carrying. But they were ours. WE SOLD THEM. OH! Shut up! We had to sell them.

[00:28:53]We needed the money. You better get them back.

[00:28:55]>> your fingers. You haven't got, I suggest, YOU GET THOSE GUNS. QUICK! NOW?

[00:29:02]OH, [ __ ] Have they sold them, too?

[00:29:07]Have they sold them to him?

[00:29:09]And he's going to give them to the other guys as ammo for this job.

[00:29:14]That's what they are. So, they're going to have the guns that he wants, and he owes they owe him money.

[00:29:20]I'll just buy all the guns once you get hold of them.

[00:29:23]I'll be like, "Yeah, you want these guns, yeah? No problem. Let's just cancel off the [ __ ] debt."

[00:29:27]You dirty bastard.

[00:29:29]Jesus. Well, let's do our neighbor's got a garage like this, mate.

[00:29:33]You go underneath it, like that. But they're worth a fortune, I bet, now. We were looking them up, weren't we, like, earlier on? I don't think I saw how much they were worth, but I bet they're worth a fortune. That's why I want some. How much do you want for these muskets? 700 each. And what's that? A pound for every year they've been about?

[00:29:49]They're a bit long, ain't they? Yeah, you you wanted them cut down, didn't you?

[00:29:53]I want to look [ __ ] mean.

[00:29:55]Of course you'll look mean. You'll look really scary.

[00:29:57]>> You'll have a [ __ ] You'll have a shotgun, you're not going to look friendly.

[00:30:01]>> [laughter] >> Sting. I understand if this has come as a bit of a shock. That's Sting, isn't it?

[00:30:07]>> Let me tell you how this can be resolved.

[00:30:09]As if.

[00:30:11]Go on.

[00:30:13]He likes your bar. That's his dad.

[00:30:15]That's the poker player's dad. He actually does look a bit like him, to be fair, in the face. No way is Sting in this.

[00:30:23]Look. All right.

[00:30:25]He's your son, mate. They don't give a [ __ ] And you do have a reputation.

[00:30:29]So, I'll choose my words very carefully.

[00:30:32]You tell Harry to go [ __ ] himself. [laughter] Oh! Oh!

[00:30:38]He's got the balls. Now, I'll put that down to shock.

[00:30:42]>> [laughter] >> I'll put it down to shock.

[00:30:47]You will sign this contract in three days to find out for me, but make up your mind which you prefer. I think they're going to do it.

[00:30:53]>> You bought >> Either from like selling the guns back to him or getting the getting this robbery underway. Frank goes in first.

[00:31:00]It's a cage, but it's never locked. Is it Frank? Never. They don't want to be.

[00:31:06]Look at that whole set up.

[00:31:08]I got to say the wardrobe in this is giving nighters. When the job's done, you come straight back here and unlock.

[00:31:13]Robert's your father's brother. Everyone savvy? Savvy? Have a look at these. And what? They're balaclavas.

[00:31:20]Mhm.

[00:31:21]>> [laughter] >> You might [ __ ] need them. Think I'm going to turn up there clean shaven and greet him with a grin on my face. You've got another thing coming.

[00:31:30]>> Innit? Come on now.

[00:31:31]>> And these fellows, they're your neighbors. I thought it might be a good idea to disguise ourselves. Yeah, you idiot.

[00:31:38]Oh my god. I brought weapons. Weapons as well.

[00:31:41]Weapons? What do you mean weapons?

[00:31:43]These? Oh my god. What the [ __ ] >> them covered up, eh? Can you got anything a bit bigger?

[00:31:48]>> Where's he got THEM FROM? WHAT?

[00:31:51]WHAT THAT? SHUT UP. Which thing? What do you think? Why the [ __ ] are you waving it out in public? Fast food. Can we have a couple of drinks, please?

[00:31:59]>> I think you need it.

[00:31:59]>> Have you SEEN YOUR DAD? OH, it is Frank's hat, but it's not him, obviously.

[00:32:05]Crazy.

[00:32:06]>> He is not as threatening.

[00:32:08]Oh, but Stink is.

[00:32:12]>> [laughter] >> Oopsie.

[00:32:16]So, he just plays about in doing this.

[00:32:18]>> Where did you get these? A [ __ ] museum. Nick the Greek.

[00:32:22]How much are they worth?

[00:32:22]>> no idea how much they're worth. You could just sell them.

[00:32:27]I'd feel safer with a chicken drumstick.

[00:32:30]Jesus, Tom.

[00:32:31]Today's work. They could just sell them.

[00:32:34]Look them up.

[00:32:35]Back to more important issues, if you don't mind. We have only about two real guns. I recognize this actor as well, but I don't know where from. Gaffer tape, nick their van, swap the gear into the new van, and bring it all back here.

[00:32:48]It's going to all be figured out, guys.

[00:32:49]Oh, and if Tom or anyone else, for that matter, feels like giving them a bit of a kicking, I'm sure it won't do any harm.

[00:32:55]Yeah.

[00:32:56]Little bit of pain never hurt anybody.

[00:32:58]Is that right, Soap? I think knives are a good >> Little bit of pain never hurt anybody.

[00:33:03][ __ ] off, shiny ones. Ones that look like I could skin a crocodile. All right. Knives are good. Maybe you should be a butcher instead of a chef. Guns for show, knives for a pro. So >> All right.

[00:33:14]>> we should know about you. No, no.

[00:33:16]I'm not sure what's more worrying.

[00:33:18]>> [laughter] >> What you know about your past.

[00:33:20]Literally.

[00:33:21]I want to know as well, to be honest with you. And the fact that he's got all them knives.

[00:33:29]Just like ready to go. Where the [ __ ] did I go? Shift the piano.

[00:33:34]Where did I get those off? It's not a bad idea, though. All right, let's plank.

[00:33:38]They're getting tips and tricks. Prop shooting out. Well, perhaps I can't plank. Oh. If you could just open the door so I could talk without shouting, I think you'll find it is in your interest.

[00:33:50]Hold on, okay? Oh my god, they're going to let him in. Listen, I don't care if it's King [ __ ] Kong. He's not coming in here, not today. We are in business, and correct me if I'm wrong, but that is business.

[00:34:01]>> in business.

[00:34:02]This guy is hilarious in the middle. He knows only to buy weights now. We're looking at at least a couple of thou.

[00:34:09]Couple of thou. Willy, this is the last time, all right? But you and the money are going out the back. If he knows you're here, he'll be all day. Oh, no.

[00:34:18]They're going to do it. They're going to break in. No.

[00:34:20]Come on. I can't WAIT OUT HERE ALL DAY.

[00:34:23]ALL RIGHT, JUST COMING.

[00:34:28]I thought you was going to leave me out here all day.

[00:34:31]>> [laughter] >> Look at the size of him compared. Sorry, got to do business like this now. Can't be too careful these days. Oh god, they've now just changed their mind.

[00:34:40]What are you doing, Plank? What do you think I'm doing? What are you doing?

[00:34:44]>> open Oh my god, he's passing out. [ __ ] off. That's hilarious. No, it's not unlocked, you idiots. Oh my god.

[00:34:54]Oh, and you just [ __ ] knocked the keys out of his hand. I'm going to UNLOCK THE [ __ ] GUY'S LOCK. WHAT IS THAT ON THE FRONT DOOR NOW? I DIDN'T TOUCH HIM. HE JUST PASSED Aren't these going to hear that?

[00:35:05]What's going on down there? Oh, [ __ ] Definitely [ __ ] Get the rifle out.

[00:35:09]We're being [ __ ] Yep. Plank, give me the keys. Give me the keys, PLANK. DON'T POINT THAT AT ME, PLANK. I'M POINTING IT AT YOU NOW. OH, [ __ ] Are they going to kill these guys when they come down?

[00:35:20]Oh, itchy eyeball. What the [ __ ] that?

[00:35:22]It's me, bring her.

[00:35:24]There you go, itchy eyeball.

[00:35:27]Lest you want to lose an eyeball.

[00:35:32]Oh my god.

[00:35:34]>> I'll shoot him back. What the [ __ ] What are they shooting with? A [ __ ] pellet gun. I can't see a bloody thing. WHAT THE [ __ ] IS THAT THEY'RE SHOOTING WITH?

[00:35:42]They're going to do [ __ ] all damage.

[00:35:44]EVERYONE STOP GETTING SHOT.

[00:35:47]>> [laughter] >> COULD EVERYONE STOP GETTING SHOT?

[00:35:58]OH MY GOD, YOU IDIOT. You pull that gun again, you're a dead man. Understand?

[00:36:02]Dead. No, if No, BUT YOU'RE A [ __ ] DEAD MAN.

[00:36:06]THIS IS GOING to [ __ ] [ __ ] Actually hilarious.

[00:36:10]Right. Now that I've got your attention, firstly, I'm going TO BLOW HIS TOES OFF.

[00:36:16]THERE GO HIS TOES. OPEN THE [ __ ] GATE, or I'm going TO BLOW HIS LEG OFF.

[00:36:19]They won't care. They won't go out.

[00:36:21]>> I'M LOSING PATIENCE, HARRIET. GIRLS.

[00:36:23]>> IT'S ALL RIGHT. ALL [ __ ] RIGHT. HE DOESN'T DON'T YOU'RE HERE. JUST sort something out. Yeah, like call, I don't know. Can't call the police.

[00:36:30]>> [laughter] >> Call someone for back up. Someone, anyone.

[00:36:34]I know your friend is a good lad.

[00:36:35]There's only three of us here. I believe you. [ __ ] I'm going to break HIS LEG OFF.

[00:36:39]THERE'S ONLY three of us. Why don't we have him out? Oh.

[00:36:43]I'll have the guy.

[00:36:44]All that blood coming out of his foot.

[00:36:46]What the [ __ ] Willie going to do?

[00:36:52]I feel like they're probably not going to kill them cuz they don't need to be like murderers on top of this [ __ ] do they? They'd probably rather not have that heat.

[00:37:00]Ooh.

[00:37:02]That's a fact. He's a good lad.

[00:37:06]Oh, [ __ ] No way, he's just been dragging him up by his [ __ ] pants. Point with the man. Hey, in those shoe boxes.

[00:37:17]Nope.

[00:37:19]Is Willie taking him?

[00:37:21]>> [music] >> Oh, [ __ ] Out the back. Point. WITH WHAT? YOUR [ __ ] HANDS, NOW. I'M TIED UP.

[00:37:29]I'm tied up.

[00:37:30]>> [laughter] >> Check it out. Plant, get pulled out that van lively.

[00:37:39]Willie! Oh my god, is he actually going to do anything?

[00:37:43]Oh, I feel like Willie's probably dead.

[00:37:46]Knife.

[00:37:47]Knife? I'm going to cut him. Oh. Make sure he knows he's dead. Oh, no.

[00:37:56]It's all the money. Jesus Christ. Oh my god, the sight of it has just saved your life, Willie. The [ __ ] been going on here? It's Monica.

[00:38:04]It's Monica. You've got the bags. Can you fill it all in? Can't get a pin forest in my van. A pin forest, [ __ ] They look so fake. You'll fill it all in.

[00:38:12]>> Not a single leaf is moving with all that air ventilation they've got in there.

[00:38:18]You've got a ticket already. And if you don't move it, we will move it for you.

[00:38:22]Oh. Want to have a look? At what exactly?

[00:38:24]>> Good old Bryn. I forget what his actual name is, the actor, but he's Bryn in Gavin & Stacey.

[00:38:28]>> Well, I've got to do it.

[00:38:29]>> It'll come to me, his name. Put you in it. What?

[00:38:35]Uncle Bryn.

[00:38:39]Am I bait?

[00:38:40]>> [laughter] >> Do you think you can carry more than one bag this time? Is that all there's in it for? My leg, dog. Any more bags? Just a couple. Big, you dead yet? Oh my gosh.

[00:38:49]>> I'll be all right once I've dealt with that lanky prick. Oh [ __ ] there's a lot of blood. Oh, didn't even see you in there.

[00:38:56]>> I'm going to say, "Goodnight, nurse."

[00:38:59]Oh my [ __ ] Come on, girl.

[00:39:02]Come on, girl. YEAH. [screaming] COME ON, GIRL.

[00:39:06]NOBODY EVEN KNOWS THAT THEY NEED TO DO THAT. Look at her.

[00:39:10]The way [laughter] she's [ __ ] holding it. [ __ ] hell.

[00:39:14]Oh my god. Let's hope she gets them all.

[00:39:19]You're not getting him at all. And you Is that all of the ammo?

[00:39:25]No, you can't believe in people alive and running out of ammo, you know.

[00:39:28]They're going to have you now.

[00:39:30]Oh [ __ ] How did you not get them with that?

[00:39:34]Go. Oh. Come on now. I'm not going to lie. I wish she'd have actually gotten some of them. Probably.

[00:39:47]Now these are just waiting on like a surprise attack for the others coming back. No, I [ __ ] don't. You cannot make a cup of tea, Edward. The entire British Empire was built on cups of tea.

[00:39:57]Yeah, and look what happened to that.

[00:39:58]And if you But also that.

[00:40:02]Go to war with what?

[00:40:04]Have you forgotten those guns, you dozy [clears throat] prat? [ __ ] him.

[00:40:08]Oh god, I wish they knew how much those guns were worth.

[00:40:16]Oh god.

[00:40:18]You won't get away with this.

[00:40:23]Oh, it's really annoying that I can't remember his name. It's a [ __ ] traffic warden. What's he doing in the back of the van?

[00:40:28]He's going to call the cozzers.

[00:40:30]Ooh.

[00:40:31]Fair enough. Lord have mercy.

[00:40:35]Right, it's Ryan.

[00:40:36]I'm just going to take care of the coppers.

[00:40:38]Keep us posted. Oh my gosh, how is this going to go?

[00:40:43]Where the hell are we going to hide?

[00:40:45]Don't complicate things, just hide.

[00:40:46]>> Oh my god. [laughter] Don't complicate things, just hide.

[00:40:51]Well, there's nowhere to [ __ ] hide.

[00:40:55]We're on.

[00:40:58]Okay, let's get going, Lance.

[00:41:02]Come on, they're waiting a pound or two.

[00:41:04]Just go. Straight away.

[00:41:07]>> [music] >> Spin round, big boy.

[00:41:12]Ooh.

[00:41:13]Black down.

[00:41:14]Black down.

[00:41:16]Oh my gosh.

[00:41:19]Ooh. I'm up. Tie him up. HANDS AND FEET.

[00:41:23]GO UP THEN, LADS. I can't believe they did it that quick. I'll find you.

[00:41:28]Will you? Course he will, sweetheart.

[00:41:30]I'll find you.

[00:41:32]What do you think this is? [ __ ] hide and seek?

[00:41:36]>> [laughter] >> No, he looks threatening him. I'll be scared that he's going to find me. Oh my gosh.

[00:41:42]>> I'll see you in the van when you're finished with answering me.

[00:41:47]As if he took his um mask off before leaving.

[00:41:52]Oh no, I feel like he is going to [ __ ] find him.

[00:41:59]I bet I can't believe that has just [ __ ] happened.

[00:42:02]When the bottle in my ass is contracted, I'll let you know.

[00:42:05]>> [laughter] >> It's squiggly bum time.

[00:42:10]God knows how much of this stinking weighs.

[00:42:13]A shitload of cash.

[00:42:18]And a Oh my god, a traffic warden.

[00:42:21]I forgot he was in there. Jesus, have we got a traffic warden? Oh my gosh.

[00:42:27]>> [laughter] >> I don't know, but I don't think we need him. Knock him out and dump him at the lights. Oh, can't I take him to a hospital? Come on.

[00:42:35]Ooh.

[00:42:37]Don't touch him. I'll knock him out. Oh.

[00:42:43][ __ ] hate traffic wardens.

[00:42:45]Poor traffic warden.

[00:42:49]Ooh.

[00:42:50]Oh, all right.

[00:42:53]We're just giving him [ __ ] cuz we hate traffic wardens. Now, Tom, you take this to Nick the Bubble and we get rid of it quick.

[00:43:05]Something is still going to happen. I can feel it.

[00:43:08]Look, there's no glass in that table anymore. This is good as it gets.

[00:43:13]We'll take it. Half price.

[00:43:17]Half price?

[00:43:18]You said 350 grand and you know that's a good price.

[00:43:22]It was yesterday I said fair enough. And that's today if I'm not mistaken.

[00:43:26]>> No, okay. Tomorrow, half price.

[00:43:30]If he wants to get rid of it quick, he'll have to take it.

[00:43:33]>> that is true. And to be fair, like, it's not like they've done anything for it, have they really, apart from, you know, the burglary, but like We're out of money. Oh god.

[00:43:44]Lenny.

[00:43:45]Take [laughter] that rubbish. Snow White and the Three Little Chemists.

[00:43:47]>> [ __ ] idiot.

[00:43:48]>> have a Snow White and the Three Little Chemists.

[00:43:51]>> [laughter] >> You know what I mean, though? They've had no outlay, like, financial outlay to get the ones on that. So, even if they got to sell it at half price, I'm pretty sure they're going to be thrilled. When he says search for bugs, I mean, I want it stripped. What is the point in that?

[00:44:07]Even if there was a bug, they'd have taken it with them. All right, yeah, of course. He lives next door to them, so it probably is the last place they would look for it.

[00:44:15]Not a bad day.

[00:44:17]Well, they wouldn't be.

[00:44:18]>> I'll take care of Harry. If you didn't owe a [ __ ] on. What's left over? That pile takes care of it. All right.

[00:44:26]I was wondering whether they were going to be shot.

[00:44:29]The one you shot, is he still in there now?

[00:44:32]Oh, no, it's another one. That's more like it. Well, they they took him with.

[00:44:37]And he's still still alive.

[00:44:39]Oh my god.

[00:44:41]An air gun.

[00:44:43]Literally.

[00:44:45]We're not mercenaries.

[00:44:47]You don't say.

[00:44:49]Who could it be?

[00:44:50]>> [laughter] >> Mr. Breaker.

[00:44:53]Today, my name is Mr. Breaker. Ooh. This is a coincidence.

[00:44:59]This white [ __ ] steals my things and thinks that he can sell it back to me.

[00:45:03]He's got less brains >> Oh, but it's not that That's not the case.

[00:45:08]Please see what [ __ ] does piss a thing he got more of a great bastard Yeah, he's putting two and two together about it. I didn't realize it was his.

[00:45:24]>> [laughter] [music] >> Hey.

[00:45:31]Skills to pay the bills.

[00:45:34]Your stupidity might be your one saving grace. Huh?

[00:45:39]How is it your [ __ ] stupid soon-to-be-dead friends thought that they might be able to steal my cannabis and then sell it back to me?

[00:45:47]I don't think he knew it was his.

[00:45:49]Is this some white cunt's joke that black [ __ ] don't get? Kim, [laughter] say that again.

[00:45:53]>> [ __ ] laughing, Nicholas.

[00:45:57]Nicholas?

[00:45:59]>> [laughter] >> If you did, you wouldn't have turned up here scratching your ass with that what's going on look on his face like you're Chevy Chase.

[00:46:08]But what you do know is where these people live. Yeah.

[00:46:13]This guy is a cool dude, you know. He's [ __ ] suave. If you forget anything, I'll kill you. In fact, you're going to have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick.

[00:46:24]All right. Understand everything I've said.

[00:46:28]Because if you don't, I'll kill you.

[00:46:33]I love him. If I had them all lined up against the wall. If there's a toe bag from around the manor, we'd know. We'd know.

[00:46:38]YOU KNOW!

[00:46:39]YOU [ __ ] KNOW!

[00:46:40]>> [screaming] >> YOU WERE NEIGHBORS NEXT DOOR. OH MY GOD, I can barely make out what you're saying, mate. Calm down. [ __ ] LIAR!

[00:46:47]GET OUT OF MY [ __ ] SIGHT! YOU LITTLE [ __ ] >> [laughter] >> OH MY GOD.

[00:46:51]>> [gasps] >> NO, they're going to figure it out.

[00:46:56]Oh, [ __ ] I've got a scar face. Yeah, [ __ ] You want to know how to do it? You better stay at the bar.

[00:47:03]This deal puts us up nearly 200,000 pounds each.

[00:47:10]That's not bad for a morning's work, I think you'll agree. Yeah, if you hold on to it.

[00:47:14]Oh, no.

[00:47:17]No, they're going to [ __ ] figure it out. Jesus Christ.

[00:47:21]So, they had the cash.

[00:47:22]>> No.

[00:47:24]Cheeky bastards. No.

[00:47:27][ __ ] I'm so [ __ ] Do you want to do it next door? What is that guy going to come now for his stuff back and then see these with it? And they're going to get [ __ ] for it.

[00:47:38]And you give it all. I hope so.

[00:47:39]>> [laughter] >> Given them shows you can use your own.

[00:47:44]Oh, and these guns as well. Nobody knows how much they're worth, do they? You know those guns are sold, yeah?

[00:47:51]I need them back. Not likely, I'm afraid. I don't think I'll be seeing them again.

[00:47:54]Look, I've got the money to pay for them. I'm sure you do, but I don't think you understand. I am going to see them.

[00:48:00]If we can't get them, we can't get them.

[00:48:03]Well, you'll have to [ __ ] get them.

[00:48:04]Look, we made a [ __ ] deal. This is cool.

[00:48:08]James Bond needs no time.

[00:48:11]When you dance with the devil, you wait for the song to stop. Know what I mean?

[00:48:16]>> Like give me like a little spoiler for James Bond movies.

[00:48:19]>> [laughter] >> Now no [ __ ] about now. We're going to find those guns.

[00:48:24]>> [music] >> He is [ __ ] cool and Rory is it called?

[00:48:38]>> [music] >> You may they're not going to be there.

[00:48:46]Drive slow. Drive slow. Get there after the fact.

[00:48:52]That totally is what's going to [ __ ] happen.

[00:48:56]These they're going to get away with it.

[00:49:00]>> [laughter] >> Look at them all.

[00:49:03]Probably shouldn't be driving. I'm not going to lie. Probably definitely still intoxicated. And is everyone there not they've got to do?

[00:49:11]Look at these guys. You would not want to [ __ ] mess with them. All dressed in black with the guns and everything.

[00:49:16]Look at this tiny little one.

[00:49:21]Oh, [ __ ] It's about to go down in here.

[00:49:28]Better steal. No offense.

[00:49:30]Are they all going to get [ __ ] including these lot and then our guys that will pull up they're just going to pull up and take the stuff again with everybody [ __ ] each other.

[00:49:40]Then I'm going to be expecting these lot to arrive. At all me.

[00:49:45]Not in the least.

[00:49:48]What the [ __ ] is going on? It is.

[00:49:51]>> [laughter] >> Ah.

[00:49:56]>> [snorts] >> Oh, [ __ ] Oh, shine a light.

[00:50:03]Yeah, you were expecting that, weren't you? Hey.

[00:50:07]Ooh.

[00:50:11][ __ ] off.

[00:50:13]It's going to rub off with the money.

[00:50:16]And both guns.

[00:50:20]Nah, someone's going to be waiting.

[00:50:22]>> Looks like IT FOR ME.

[00:50:25]COME ON.

[00:50:26]THESE ARE FOR YOU.

[00:50:28]OOH.

[00:50:31]OH, NO. The cash as well. He's going to take them back to his boss. So, then the boys can't pay him with that [ __ ] cash. I'll get the [ __ ] >> I'm not going to get the [ __ ] guns.

[00:50:42]You get the [ __ ] GUNS.

[00:50:43]>> HEY, YOU [ __ ] >> [laughter] >> I'LL WRAP THEM DOWN.

[00:50:50]>> OH, as if.

[00:50:53]>> Put your seat belt on.

[00:50:54]>> [laughter] >> Of course. Safety first, you know, while he's counting his money and handling his [ __ ] weapon, right?

[00:51:03]So, now what the [ __ ] Oh my god. Go on, mate. You're Oh, [ __ ] Why is always someone getting run over?

[00:51:12]Oh, lord.

[00:51:15]>> [screaming] >> Yeah, don't [ __ ] mess with him right now. He's [ __ ] well busy.

[00:51:25]Yeah, look at the old [ __ ] dead.

[00:51:28]So, what are the boys going to be left with?

[00:51:31]Just the the weed.

[00:51:37]Oh, my [ __ ] Literally, they're all dead. Apart from him.

[00:51:40]That's hilarious.

[00:51:42]>> He's the one we shot in the neck.

[00:51:43]>> No, and they're taking the weed as well.

[00:51:44]>> Mr. Botanical. That's the one we shot in the neck. Oh, [ __ ] OFF.

[00:51:49][ __ ] NO WAY.

[00:51:58]NO WAY HIM AS WELL.

[00:52:02]And he's just getting away with the weed. So, they're left with nothing, aren't they? Nothing at all.

[00:52:10]Oh, [ __ ] And a [ __ ] up gaff.

[00:52:14]What the [ __ ] is that in there? Jesus.

[00:52:16]They ain't got a [ __ ] all now. The money, the gear.

[00:52:21]It's all gone. It's [ __ ] Yeah, it's big time [ __ ] No weed. And a [ __ ] up bodies.

[00:52:31]All right, don't panic.

[00:52:32]Don't panic. Oh, [ __ ] You can think about it. Stop panicking.

[00:52:37]I'm panicking and I'm off.

[00:52:41]Yeah, I get away from that scenario.

[00:52:45]Definitely.

[00:52:46]How did you get your hands on these then? The boys had them.

[00:52:50]I know you like these sort of things.

[00:52:51]Wondered if you wanted them. Yeah, I'll have them.

[00:52:54]He don't know that they're the guns I've been looking for. The opportunity was there.

[00:52:58]In my experience, you're supposed to take that opportunity.

[00:53:02]If it's there.

[00:53:03]Was he accepting that as the debt paid off? We've got to get those guns. This is dangerous [ __ ] Dave. We don't even know who lives there. Listen, I don't care who lives there. All as I know is that it's Oh, are you stupid to get the guns? You used to against all this.

[00:53:17]Let's go.

[00:53:21]Wait, but that's That's who Oh my god, I'm slow sometimes. All right, that was quick.

[00:53:27]>> they're trying to get the guns for.

[00:53:29]Where did you get the guns for us all?

[00:53:30]Lord have mercy. Yeah, and this is the guy that they're trying to get the guns for.

[00:53:35]Oh, [ __ ] Oh my god.

[00:53:40]>> [snorts] >> Oh my god, they're going to go in and [ __ ] shoot him.

[00:53:46]What does concern me is the guns you had.

[00:53:51]Okay, so he's accepting it as a debt paid off. So, get your ass over here now, and I do mean now.

[00:53:57]Oh, no.

[00:53:59]Yeah.

[00:54:01]Is he not the guy that wants the guns of these two?

[00:54:07]Oh, [ __ ] Oh, he's gone far.

[00:54:12]Oh, no.

[00:54:14]>> [screaming] >> Oh, [ __ ] Oh, my [ __ ] He's actually going to [ __ ] kill him.

[00:54:22]Oh, [ __ ] Oh, that's who he was trying to get him for, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they just know his face, right? What the [ __ ] are you doing here? Yeah, that's who the guns were for, you [ __ ] >> [ __ ] >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've forgotten it's not his face that they've seen, it's his.

[00:54:38]Oh my god, yeah, cuz they asked him who the job was for. It was the governor, and they didn't know. Right.

[00:54:44]It took me a second then. I was like, "Hang about. They know who they're getting them for."

[00:54:49]Oh my god, stop. I think you quit, did you?

[00:54:53]Where's what I want? Oh.

[00:54:55]>> then, Emma. Very [ __ ] funny. Where's what I want? I left it in the office.

[00:55:00]Well, we better get out of the office and get it then.

[00:55:03]Oh.

[00:55:05]And chop, [ __ ] chop. All right.

[00:55:08]Who's going to have to?

[00:55:09]His kid.

[00:55:13]Okay.

[00:55:14]Oh, but of course, they're going to go in and see all this [ __ ] So, you don't owe him [ __ ] all.

[00:55:19]>> [screaming] >> Oh my god, Natasha, clock on faster sometimes.

[00:55:23]My brain just work like linear.

[00:55:28]Oh, no, not again. Oh, yeah.

[00:55:31]>> [laughter] >> Not again is hilarious.

[00:55:37]Oh, no, not again. That is funny. That is funny. no, not again. [laughter] That is funny. That is funny.

[00:55:43]Literally the exact same [ __ ] Get the money off the [ __ ] table and leg it. Mhm. Money, money, money, money, money. Money.

[00:55:56]Get it. Get it. Get it.

[00:56:00]Get the money and [ __ ] leg it. Oh my god, get out of here.

[00:56:08]No, I wish someone would have come along.

[00:56:14]Yep. Not only have you a [ __ ] Is he going to get his money back? [laughter] You're never going to guess.

[00:56:22]But what I do know no more Harry.

[00:56:26]Which means there's no more debt. Mhm.

[00:56:28]And if there's no more debt, there's no more problem.

[00:56:31]>> Then you're [ __ ] rich. There's no problem with the neighbors because they're all dead.

[00:56:35]>> They're all dead.

[00:56:36]And I think >> And the guy that owns the weed is dead.

[00:56:39]We haven't done anything wrong. Come with me. Let's go.

[00:56:40]>> Yeah.

[00:56:41]YEP. [laughter] WHAT ARE THE [ __ ] CHANCES?

[00:56:47]OH, [ __ ] OH, [ __ ] It's not on purpose, I imagine. What about the kid? He's a knife to his throat.

[00:56:59]Oh, [ __ ] Okay.

[00:57:03]Oh, [ __ ] it now.

[00:57:06]Yeah, you're going to die.

[00:57:09]Oh, [ __ ] it now. And he's doing doing it in the last person that the [ __ ] accountable to, basically.

[00:57:17]You're all right, mate?

[00:57:18]Oh my god, is he going to take the money off him?

[00:57:22]No. Oh my god, he's going to go in and see what's happened as well. [ __ ] Oh my god. [laughter] I think you guys should split it.

[00:57:33]Fair's fair, do embarrassing position for Tom to be in.

[00:57:37]But, Chris had to respect the fact that he was holding what appeared to be a pair of loaded shotguns.

[00:57:43]I'm actually respect the fact that they were not loaded. Oh. Without anybody losing too much face, Okay.

[00:57:49]>> Tom left through a side door, and Chris left with the money, and everybody else got arrested.

[00:57:56]Oh my gosh. He's not one of them.

[00:58:03]>> [music] >> Oh my gosh, so they got away with it, but they still got the guns. They just need to figure out how much they're worth so they can sell them.

[00:58:11]And then you're going to be up. So, you're in the clear.

[00:58:15]More importantly, am I? Yep. It appears so.

[00:58:21]Appears? There's no one left to get you.

[00:58:23]You have to do better than [ __ ] appears, my friend. Well, everybody's safe, then. I think [laughter] that's about as clear as you can get.

[00:58:31]There's no one to come and get you cuz they're all in the graves.

[00:58:38]This is really good. I really enjoyed this.

[00:58:41]They just need to figure out about these guns now. What are you going to do with them?

[00:58:46]Sit down, I'll tell you.

[00:58:48]The traffic warden identified the [music] neighbors' bodies. Right.

[00:58:52]>> Which sort of puts us in the clear.

[00:58:54]The only thing connecting us with the case Is it >> is our shotguns. It was at his house as well, his flat. You did take care of the shotguns, didn't you, Sam? No, I still got them, mate.

[00:59:04]I wanted to talk to you about that.

[00:59:06]Talk.

[00:59:07]He's still got them.

[00:59:09]I've got them sitting in the car. I'm just going to sell them back to Nick the Greek, but I'm having a bit of trouble getting hold of him. The only thing connecting us with the case is in the back of your car, which is parked outside.

[00:59:22]Oh my gosh. Do you really think it's worth taking the risk for 700 pounds?

[00:59:27]>> Tom, you're a dick.

[00:59:30]Nah, you're all going to be thanking Tom later. And throw yourself off while you're at it. Back in. [laughter] Leave him be.

[00:59:41]Poor Tommy lads going to be your salvation.

[00:59:44]No, don't tell me he's actually going to throw them off a [ __ ] bridge.

[00:59:50]Well, wouldn't he know that they're worth something?

[00:59:53]It seemed actually Andrew to my two luck.

[00:59:57]And it seems to have cost him. So, I've decided to bring your bag back. He wants the guns.

[01:00:01]He's not just bringing it back. Does he want the guns in trade-off? Now, he presented me with a problem. I've lost my employer.

[01:00:09]All right.

[01:00:10]I've taken care of myself and my son. Now, if you think that's unfair Oh, out of the money.

[01:00:17]Fair fox.

[01:00:19]That's all I've come to say.

[01:00:22]Does he not want to be like hot Eva though?

[01:00:25]Is that why?

[01:00:27]It's been emotional.

[01:00:29]>> [laughter] >> It's been emotional.

[01:00:35]Hey, wow, got himself a snazzy car.

[01:00:40]That's not [ __ ] conspicuous at all, is it?

[01:00:47]Is it going to be money?

[01:00:48]What's in it?

[01:00:50]>> [music] >> It's empty.

[01:00:51]Shut up.

[01:00:53]Of course it is. I'm surprised they even bothered to bring it.

[01:01:00]I didn't expect him to give us anything.

[01:01:01]No offense.

[01:01:04]Is it like the brochure for the [ __ ] guns?

[01:01:08]Oh my god, he's going to throw them off a [ __ ] bridge.

[01:01:14]Yep.

[01:01:16]Oh, no.

[01:01:18]No, no, no, don't throw them off.

[01:01:21]No.

[01:01:22]No, I want them to end on the up.

[01:01:25]Don't throw him. No. No.

[01:01:28]Mother [ __ ] Call him. No. They're not going to get [ __ ] all, are they?

[01:01:34]No.

[01:01:36]MAKE A PHONE CALL.

[01:01:39]NO. HE ACTUALLY DID.

[01:01:43]OH, 250 to 300,000. Oh, my [ __ ] He's already done it. He better [ __ ] jump in that [ __ ] river, Asa.

[01:01:50]Oh, my god. They landed ON THE SIDE.

[01:01:52]SHUT UP. OH, MY [ __ ] >> [screaming] [laughter] >> GET HIM. OH, MY GOD. NO.

[01:02:02]YEAH, get him and bring him back up.

[01:02:05]Holy [ __ ] Stop [ __ ] about.

[01:02:08]Yeah.

[01:02:12]Oh, [ __ ] Get him. Get him and bring it back.

[01:02:18]No.

[01:02:21]No.

[01:02:27]He's going to drop him in there.

[01:02:30]Oh, no.

[01:02:38]No way. Do we not find out?

[01:02:41]Shut up. I'm going to come to the my own conclusion that um they got answer the phone call somehow. He wedged himself back over. He got the guns. He called them back straight away before he decided to lob them over the side again.

[01:02:54]They sold them. And now they're all, you know, 200,000 pound each richer. That's That's what I'm going to Some guy with.

[01:03:01]Some guy with.

[01:03:02]>> [laughter] >> There better be some [ __ ] end credits.

[01:03:05]The only thing I'm annoyed about is that I not get to see these guys selling the guns. Or at least him get back over and answer the phone call. Mother [ __ ] >> [laughter] >> Really, really thoroughly enjoyed this, guys. Thank you so much for joining my self and our orders today. I'll be back in just a minute with a recap. All right then, my lovely jobbly lot. That was another cracking film. I am loving these Guy Ritchie movies. I'm kind of pissed eh that I haven't checked them out before now. The only advantage of which is getting to share them with you guys for the first time, but genuinely thoroughly enjoyed this film. Love the humor, love the British language, the writing, the directing, the cast again incredible. Loved to see familiar faces from Snatch. Did get mildly as to whether they were going to be the same characters. Obviously not. I love the styling of these movies. I love the camera work. I love the transitions.

[01:03:53]It's just chef's kiss, masterpiece.

[01:03:59]I am very much looking forward to checking out some more Guy Ritchie movies. So do suggest those in the comments below and thank you so much for suggesting this one in the comments to Snatch. As always, if you do want to see more of the parables, do consider heading over to Patreon or YouTube memberships. You can get a full length reactions, behind the scenes, all that good stuff and it really does help out the channel. That said, I really do appreciate you guys coming to YouTube and checking out the videos every single week. The only thing, and you know what I'm going to say, the only thing is I wish we'd have gotten the ending of him just getting those guns, getting himself back over, giving the guys a call, being like, "Hey, yeah, what's what's up?

[01:04:36]What's going on?" And they're all like, "Hey, do not, and I mean do not, throw away the guns." And he'll be like, "Oh my god, funny you should say that."

[01:04:43]Like, "Thank the Lord almighty, my I just stepped in because actually, I tried to throw them away, but they landed on the ledge and now I've got them back and guys, we're rich."

[01:04:52]That's all we needed. I don't need no Tony Soprano, is he dead, is he not, did he get the guns, did he not, kind of vibes. God.

[01:04:59]>> [laughter] >> No, but to be fair, like even with the ending, like the ending suits. Like it's fine. It goes with the flow. It goes with the overall vibe. But that doesn't mean that I personally have to enjoy it thoroughly. Just saying. But I can appreciate it, so I guess there's that.

[01:05:15]I think honestly, as a roundup, these movies just aren't my kind of movies. I mean, they're British, anyway. I love the language that's used. I can relate.

[01:05:23]But, other than that, the action that's in them, the storylines, the plots, the way that it's structured is right up my street. I love it. Keeps my mind engaged. Keeps me guessing. I am one of those people who will I don't actively try and figure things out as I go along in a movie, but it's like an automatic trigger in my mind. But, I find that fun. I know not everybody finds that fun, but like that's part of the thrill of a movie to me is like I love having that little guessing game. I love thinking about where the plot is going to go and how clever it might be. And I love even more when my expectations are subverted. So, it's not even just a thing of like, "Oh, I need to be right about like guessing what's going to happen." I honestly sometimes love it more when I'm wrong, because I love the thought of like the possibilities of what's going to happen. That kind of aspect of a movie like this I really enjoy. I'm not sure about anybody else.

[01:06:12]But, yeah, I do like something that is a little bit gritty, not too crazy. You guys know what I'm like about the gore.

[01:06:18]Watching Kill Bill recently, I did realize though like I'm coming a little bit more subdued to it. I think because it's a little bit theatrical as well in Kill Bill, like the blood and the gore.

[01:06:27]I feel like it's not as heinous for me.

[01:06:30]When it's like proper real gritty nasty gore, that's when it's like it's going to have to be a solid no from me. But, I will say even in this like it was a you know, a little bit of a gritty movie, not crazy. You know what I mean? Like the comedy elements definitely lifted it up. But, thinking about it now, I don't think we had anything too crazy in this.

[01:06:48]You know how I feel about face punches and all that. Always makes me wince.

[01:06:51]But, frankly, I've got a feeling that the suggestions you guys are giving me, yeah, they're making me like a braver girl in terms of watching gore. Don't get me wrong. Is it the kind of [ __ ] that I want to watch on an everyday basis all the time? Absolutely not.

[01:07:04]Would I rather not have any gore? Yeah, absolutely. But, we all have to appreciate, and I do appreciate, there's a time and a place for gore. And Kill Bill, right? Not being funny, without the gore, without any gore in Kill Bill, and again, it was theatrical kind of gore. When I say gore, I really mean like blood and stuff. Anyway, it just wouldn't have been the same movie without it, and those parts definitely made it. So, as much as a girl doesn't love it, definitely don't shy away from suggesting movies with a little bit of gore here and there, as long as it's not something with spider spider spider spider, I'm pretty sure we'll be okay.

[01:07:37]Well, with all that said, my lovely jubly lot, I don't think I have too much more to say about this movie, but I really am just looking forward to watching more Guy Ritchie movies with you guys. And I hope you enjoyed watching this proper British movie with a proper British girl and a proper British rod. [laughter] And as I always say, my lovely jubly lot, whether it's morning, evening, afternoon, 4:00 in the morning, thank you so much for joining me today. I appreciate you so much. Look after yourself, be kind, and I'll see you on the next one. Bye.

[01:08:06]Mwah. Mwah.

[01:08:13]So, are we going to talk about the fact that Jason Statham, I'm pretty sure, has not aged in about, I don't know, at least 25 years or some [ __ ] respectfully. Did you see him in this?

[01:08:23]1998, mate. It's now 2026.

[01:08:27]That's like 28 years ago. I'm pretty sure I've seen a picture of that guy recently, and he looks he's aged about, I don't know, 3 years.

[01:08:34]What's his secret? Jason boy, let us know.

[01:08:38]Let your girl know before I get involved with Botox, okay? We're not quite there yet, but soon soon. I have actually heard that Botox is supposed to help people with migraines. Is that [ __ ] just to try and get people with migraines to pay for Botox, or does it work? If you're a person that suffers with chronic migraines, cuz your [ __ ] is, let me know.

[01:08:59]Rob Brydon? Rob Brydon?

[01:09:02]Oh, is it Rob Brydon or Rob Brydon? I think it's Rob Brydon, the guy that plays Bryn who played the parking warden in this. God, I don't know if you saw the cogs turning in my mind after I noticed him in the movie, but for the life of me I could not remember his [ __ ] name. But I think I call him Rob Brydon because I mistake the people saying Rob Brydon because Rob ends with a B and if you say it quickly, Rob Brydon is me saying Rob Brydon. Rob Brydon.

[01:09:31]But me saying Rob Brydon is Rob Brydon.

[01:09:35]Where the difference is? I'm going to Google it. One minute. Googled it. It's Rob Brydon. We learn something new every day. Anyway, bye. Love you so much. I don't think there's anything else to update you on this week. Um, oh, I'm getting a horse. Oh my god, what do you mean? WHAT HAPPENED THIS WEEK?

[01:09:51]>> [screaming] >> I'M GETTING A HORSE.

[01:09:57]THIS IS MY CHILDHOOD DREAM.

[01:10:01]>> [screaming] >> OH MY GOD, I'M SO EXCITED. I'm literally so excited. I can't actually cope.

[01:10:09]>> [gasps] >> And also, please, please do come back here and watch my videos cuz like it is my main income stream and me and my new horse who I'm not going to tell you the name of yet, but me and my new horse we really need you guys, okay? Listen, I'm going to try and be entertaining. Rodney is going to be trying to be entertaining. He's now working for bags of carrots. Please like the video, leave a comment. Put a horse emoji if you got this far, okay? I love you so much. Have a nice week, a weekend, depending on when this goes up. A whole week. Have a nice whole [ __ ] week. Have a nice life, [ __ ] God, Natasha. I genuinely hope that for all of you. Love you so much. See you soon.

[01:10:46]Oh my god, I'M GETTING MY HORSE.

[01:10:49]YOU JUST KNOW YOU ARE ABOUT TO GET vlogs of me clipity clopping around town, guys.