Men In Their 40s Stopped Getting Angry. Here’s What We’re Doing Now

Added: 2026-05-28

[00:00:01]Men in their 40s aren't getting angry anymore.

[00:00:06]And I'm not talking about the men who have just given up on life. I'm not talking about the ones that are they're burnt out and defeated and just stopped caring about everything and let apathy take hold. No, I am not talking about those men. I'm talking about the men who went through the gauntlet of their teen years and their 20s and their 30s and they came out the other side and they made a very deliberate decision that it's not worth it. The anger and the energy that it costs.

[00:00:43]And if you're my age, I'm 40, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

[00:00:51]When we were teenagers and in our 20s, we didn't have what these young men have now.

[00:01:02]There was no abundance of information, a correction of true information, of correct information.

[00:01:09]There was a lot of information out there, but it wasn't the right kind. And there were no channels breaking down how the the system actually works and how the world truly sees you, right? How it sees us as men, how women operate. None of that.

[00:01:28]You know what we had?

[00:01:31]We had Hollywood. That's it. That's what we had. That's what we had to go off of.

[00:01:36]We had Hollywood telling us what a man was supposed to be, right? what love was supposed to look like and what we were supposed to want.

[00:01:47]And if we just worked hard enough, right, and if we were we were a good enough boy and showed up consistently enough, right, it would it would all come together.

[00:02:00]And we believed it. We we took it hook, line, and sinker. At least most of us did because what else did we have really?

[00:02:10]We were drowning in in mainstream information.

[00:02:17]So, we went in blind.

[00:02:19]We made mistakes. Tons of them. Every every single mistake you could think of, we made it.

[00:02:26]We were made intentionally stupid because we were we weren't given the map.

[00:02:37]Nobody handed us the map. We had to draw it ourselves and we drew it wrong and it cost us dearly.

[00:02:48]And what do we do? We we poured ourselves out, right, into these relationships, into this system, into these institutions that were never actually built for us. But we didn't know that because we were socially engineered to be inept.

[00:03:11]And we we we did it with everything that we had because we thought that that was what we were supposed to do.

[00:03:17]And we got nothing for it. Most of us got nothing for it. We got we got left empty and beaten down. And we're and we're being told that the problem was us.

[00:03:31]And then something finally changed.

[00:03:39]the information it started coming out.

[00:03:42]The real stuff that the good stuff, the hard truths about how the world actually works, how the system works, how women work, right? how these institutions that spent decades telling us that they they were for us were actually built to extract from us.

[00:04:06]We were we were so naive in our younger years.

[00:04:10]Yeah. The more that you learn and look just look just we had to learn all of this. We had a crash course in our 30s. At least I did. It was late, right, after a lot of the damage had already been done.

[00:04:30]And yeah, the more that you learn, I I just I took it in like a fire hose, right? And the more that you learn, the harder it is to unsee it and the better off you'll be.

[00:04:39]Ultimately, and here's what gets me.

[00:04:46]It's not just that these things failed us.

[00:04:52]It's that they mocked us for it. They ridiculed us. You were you were the fool for believing, right? You were the joke for getting hurt.

[00:05:05]So yeah, some of us got angry for a while.

[00:05:10]And that anger, it made sense.

[00:05:15]When you find out that you've been lied to your whole life and you realize that the the entire game is rigged, yeah, of course you're going to get angry.

[00:05:25]It's a rational response. It's a rational emotion to feel under such a such circumstances.

[00:05:35]But here's the thing about anger, right?

[00:05:37]We expended the energy. And what did it change? Nothing. Nothing. It didn't change anything. It didn't change a damn thing.

[00:05:46]So men my age, we made a decision.

[00:05:52]We decided that it's not worth getting angry and pitching a fit.

[00:05:59]We did what we should have done a long time ago.

[00:06:02]We turned our backs.

[00:06:06]Not out of defeat.

[00:06:09]We're just we're sick and tired of being handled, right?

[00:06:15]We finally got it through our heads that that pouring yourself into something that will never pour back into you is insane, >> right? That that empty, beaten down feeling of just giving everything and coming back with nothing. No, no more.

[00:06:35]No more of that. We're done with that.

[00:06:40]our our we our cup has to be full first.

[00:06:44]That's it. That's the whole thing. We're making sure that our cup is full and we won't entertain pouring into anyone anyone until they are fully vetted and our cup is overflowing.

[00:06:58]And if you want to call us selfish for that, then so be it. I I think it's okay to be selfish in this case. I honestly do.

[00:07:08]For me, I think a lot of men my age, they can relate.

[00:07:13]And it was it was discovering it was in discovering Carl Young and the concept of individuation that saved me and turned the tide. And I I came to it in my late 30s.

[00:07:24]It was it was this thing that it started setting me up for where I am now in my 40s. I at first I didn't know what it was. I discovered individuation and that concept before I knew what it was, before I I really knew who Carl Young was.

[00:07:40]But once once I finally connected the dots and had a name for it, it just it the more I read and it just it opened things up for me.

[00:07:56]And if you're not familiar with what individuation is, if you're new here, what it is is at its core, it's the process of becoming fully a fully realized version of yourself.

[00:08:08]Not the version that your mommy or your daddy wanted, right? Not the version that Hollywood sold you or the the the version that your ex wanted. It's you.

[00:08:19]Holy you. The whole version of you.

[00:08:25]And when you do that work, you start to see you start to see yourself differently and in a in a better light. But you also you start seeing people differently.

[00:08:37]You can read them now. You you in a very clear and calculated way by seeing through their performances and and the projection and the the fake virtue.

[00:08:50]You just you see people for who and what they really are.

[00:08:58]It's it's a beautiful thing. It is.

[00:09:02]And that vantage point.

[00:09:06]That's that's worth more than any amount of of anger you could have spent in your 20s trying to to change something that was never going to change.

[00:09:17]It's worth way more.

[00:09:20]And so that's where men my age are. A lot of us, we're not the um the sad and bitter men that people want to make us out to be, right? We're not the caricature that they're trying to form.

[00:09:38]And I am blessed. I'm grateful I have this platform. And what I want to do with it genuinely is two things specifically.

[00:09:50]First thing is to help men who are still in it, who are still in the anger and navigating from the wrong map. Right? I want to help them get to where I am faster than than I got here. Right?

[00:10:04]because you don't have to do 20 years of wrong turns to get here if someone who already did them like me is willing to be honest with you.

[00:10:17]And the other thing is that I want to I want to tip my hat to all of the men who got here alongside me, right? Who went through the gauntlet, the ones who did the work, right? who found individuation in Carl Young and and found or found or found something like it, right? Who who built themselves in their 30s and are standing in their 40s on solid ground finally. I see you, man.

[00:10:48]That's not nothing. That's everything.

[00:10:54]The anger made sense. It really did.

[00:10:57]Given everything we didn't know and everything we were handed, the anger made sense.

[00:11:04]But we're past it now.

[00:11:09]And you're not a man who stopped caring.

[00:11:12]What you are is a man who finally started caring about the right things.