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Wrenches - A New Untold Story: Ep. 498Added:
That's your reply to what I'm going to say. No, you're just going to say like, "No, that's a new untold story."
>> Hey, is that story old or told?
>> What? No, baby.
>> It's a new untold story.
A new untold story.
It's a fresh fake untold story.
A new untold story.
New Unld story episode 498 almost to 500.
Uh what a crazy [ __ ] run it's been a journey. What a journey.
>> Um here with Kyle Rudy Jack G. Uh, Kyle, I was going to just kind of wait on this and but I Rudy, I don't know if you know this, but we might have to intervene. An intervention.
>> Oh, I know what it is.
>> You know what it is.
>> And I get it.
>> It's That was Don't laugh like Don't What >> you laugh like Scooby do?
>> I've never heard you laugh like that.
>> Yeah.
>> Um, dude, >> I know. Enough.
>> Yeah. No. No. I get it. I get it. I'll take it.
>> You know, it's getting weird.
>> That's what you That's what you said to them.
>> I get it.
>> I'll take it.
>> It's Do you know what this is?
>> I know what it is.
>> We all know.
What are you doing?
>> The jump from two to three cats. You can't get monumentous. I get it.
>> You cannot. A three cat. Two cats is like That's a guy that likes cats. Three cats is obsessive.
>> Two cats is like Oh, I think Are we talking about cats? I think Kyle has one or two cats. Three cats is like, "Oh, who was that dude at the wedding with three cats?"
>> Yeah, >> he got the house.
>> Nobody forgets.
>> That's like my number one. Three cats is like you're I'm now the three cat guy.
>> You are no longer a wrestler. You are no longer a podcaster. You're no longer short even. You are three cats. You're three cat.
>> Three cats over shadow height.
>> That Yes.
>> It's a Who is the Is that why you're doing it?
>> Who is the dude with three cats at your cousin's wedding? He was like weirdly dancing and singing pretty well but low key >> dude. Yeah, the guy with three cats.
>> But the thing is they won't be able to have any other identifiers about you.
Cauliflower dress was in aloe head to toe. They don't know you were three cat Kyle.
>> I'm the three cat guy.
>> In an apartment in a one and a halfbedroom apartment. Yes.
>> You're outnumbered. You upgraded your place to be larger and then you're just adding another cat. It's it's it's a push.
>> There's more cat than human in the apartment. belts in my apartment.
>> Yes, you surpassed belts.
>> Yeah. Well, quality over quantity.
>> A belt? That's a It's a nice belt. What kind?
>> I've been wearing a very nice belt for a while now. First time in my life. It's just like a It's a [ __ ] luxury high-end men's belt. Performance. Yeah.
It's >> performance and luxury.
>> Performance.
>> Yes.
>> The only people that talk about performance belts are Navy Seals.
>> Did you just search high-end luxury men's belt?
>> Yes. But I I that's my automatic Google whenever I want a new accessory.
>> Highend luxury men. high-end luxury men's blank.
>> And you get the first thing. What brand is it?
>> And then it's um I think it's like a [ __ ] >> You know exactly what it is.
>> It's one of the It's one of like the Cardier. Cardier >> Cardier belt.
>> Cardier belts.
>> Wait, you didn't have to check.
>> Yeah, that was a You just did a reverse rapper. You backed into saying what it was.
>> I'm not a watch guy. Okay. Yeah. Well, you guys What? cardio.
>> C A R D I A >> Kyle, >> you can't you have three cats at home.
You can't be spending money like that.
>> It was a [ __ ] gift. It was a gift for getting a third cat >> from myself.
>> But yeah. Uh all right. First off, you guys are like getting you guys are taking your dog to the pediatrician, getting him new medication, getting him trained, like >> and he's not getting any better. I think I've been I think I've been conned by the dog. There's one dog psychologist in Chicago. I got him on the emergency list. She saw him. She was like, "He needs this." Nothing has changed. He's only gotten worse. I almost Have you seen The Shining?
>> I'm like that to him where I'm chasing him to try to put him in the [ __ ] dryer just to teach him a I I want to put him in the dryer so bad.
>> I can't imagine. Do >> Do you like um I don't know what the domestic parameters and boundaries are for dogs compared to wives.
I think it's the same.
>> You can't just like teave them or >> I think it's the same of where like to diffuse either of them, you just pick them up and sh in their ear. But I think that's really I think that's really it. I >> you grab by the back of the neck and >> Yeah. I just don't think >> chill the [ __ ] out.
>> Yeah. Yeah. I think it's pretty >> pretty similar rules. What's the What's the cat rule? You cats don't do [ __ ] to you. They avoid you like the plague.
>> But like dude, three around >> there. You will always be seeing a cat.
>> That's what we want.
>> What color is it?
>> Because Piper is always around, which is great. And Pinky just is always hiding.
>> Pinky's Pinky moves like an >> And it's a good deed. Dude, that belt that belt you're wearing is more expensive than a PS5.
>> Yeah. We were out this weekend and there they >> Did you notice the belt?
>> Uh, no I did not. But we were out this weekend and they and Kyle and his fiance brought up the cat and it was so funny.
They were trying to justify it so badly.
So badly. And they >> did you did you guys have a game plan for telling your friends?
>> No. Well, it's nervous.
>> It's embarrassing. Yeah. But um >> who pitched the idea first for a third [ __ ] cat?
>> It was on Saturday. There was We had some drinks and us we got a cat in disclosure tickets. Oh, yeah. Midlife crisis maybe. I don't know.
>> My god. Which which one did you first?
>> There's a there is a viral girl >> in the Chicago area, but she's even transcending the nation. She lost her poor cat Clifford in November.
>> Rest in peace, Clifford.
>> And she you could tell like she the cat means the world to her. She's posting videos all the time looking for any leads. She's doing everything she can.
>> Oh, lost.
>> What did you mean?
>> Died.
>> Oh, yeah. What would be the right way to put that?
>> I don't know how to ran away.
>> The cat the cat got out of the bag um in West Loop.
>> And >> have you been hunting for Clifford?
>> No. I I just got hipped to this.
>> But this girl, she finds a cat that looks just like Clifford. She's like, "Oh my god, is it Clifford?" She takes it home. It's not Clifford.
And it's pregnant. And it gives Is that how it works? It gives birth to a bunch of kittens. We're taking one.
>> You're having one of the >> mistaken Clifford's kittens. Yes. So, you're having the spawn. It's a kind of like a one step away from a viral cat.
>> Kind of.
>> How kitten is like how new is this? Are they ready to be taken off?
>> They're they're a handful of weeks.
Yeah. We're going to take it Friday. And we did a home visit on Sunday.
>> You've been hiding this from me.
>> I know. Oh, yeah.
>> I had to find out through my fiance.
>> I know. I know. And that's the worst, man.
>> I'm just like, why didn't he tell me?
>> Yeah.
>> Well, I wanted to do the home visit first and that went well.
>> So, you went to this viral girl's home.
>> Well, the cat's more viral than her. She doesn't show herself.
>> She's the one posting, >> but it was Yeah. And yeah, she lived in like a cat sanctuary. It was like my role was weird. I just like made like soft anamonopia sounds every once in a while.
Like, what do you do?
>> Oh.
>> Oh, yeah. In the background. But um yeah, >> did you choose which one?
>> We did. We pivoted. We were going to go with like some honu or some like racist onopia.
>> Oh, honchu.
>> It was some It was an Asian >> It was something Honchu.
>> That's like an old like dated Chinese joke.
>> It's like a Japanese island, too.
>> Oh, >> yeah.
>> Okay.
>> Yeah, but we pivoted to to milk.
>> You got milk? We're getting milk.
>> And what's milk look like? White cat.
>> Named after the beverage, not the Sean Penn sci-fi character.
>> Sci-fi.
>> What was it? Fantasy.
>> It was some kind of gay rights activist.
>> 70s.
>> He's like a political real.
>> Isn't that you thought milk was sci-fi?
>> They voted a gay dude back then. I thought it >> You thought it was a political ass?
>> Yeah. Just like a what? Like an alternate universe?
>> Like an adventure fantasy thriller.
>> San Francisco.
>> Okay. Yeah, it's a black cat. Ironically named milk kind of, but it has a a white splotch of cream on its frack. So, >> the front neck. I don't know what you call that. It's not the back neck.
>> Okay. So, you have Piper milk.
>> And it's a male. So, yeah.
>> And pinky.
>> Yeah.
>> Milk Muhammad.
>> It's not Muhammad, Kyle. It can't be Milk Muhammad.
>> Milk Muhammad Jones.
>> I like that.
>> Was that already its middle name or did you guys decide upon that? I decided.
Yeah. Piper Michelle and Milk Muhammad.
>> Muhammad milk sounds like the great new dessert out of Dubai.
>> Yeah, that sound. Yeah, >> I saw a picture. Very cute.
>> Well, yeah, it's a kitten.
>> Yeah, very cute. Cool eyes. I was on board with it. They were ending every sentence trying to justify it. They were very >> selfconcious. We got a little bit catfish. It's still cute, but what do you mean?
>> We had these like big beautiful sea blue eyes. I guess kittens lose that. Oh, okay. I didn't know that.
>> Still adorable.
>> So, wait, but you pivoted from Honshu, >> something like that.
>> Was that what? Why did you pivot from Honshu?
>> Um, >> you didn't want to have to explain the name.
>> Gravitate gravitated toward us at the home visit. Okay. Um, >> he was sillier, goofy. At least like that's how the the young lady described him. Okay. So, >> I guess his eyes or his ears get like inside out, which is fun. Yeah. Three is too much.
>> Yeah, dude. But like I'm happy for you cuz you seem excited.
>> Way too fellainous. I don't know. I I don't know if I'm excited.
>> On on a random Saturday, you got you and your fiance get a couple cocktails in you. You decide to be adventurous. You get disclosure tickets >> and then you're like, "That's not enough. I'm I'm still chasing this high."
>> Tickets, a cat, um >> Yeah.
>> How um >> some cers.
>> Will this will this affect your day-to-day life? Three cats. And are you afraid about people knowing?
>> Yes.
>> Yeah. Is that why you didn't tell me you're Rudy?
>> [ __ ] three cats is too much.
>> But where does it stop a cat gentleman?
>> Because honestly, hear me out. The difference between two to three is astronomical.
>> It is.
>> Three to four is nothing.
>> You're Yeah, you're right. It's honestly like the burden is so limited. Like scooping the poop from the pellets isn't that bad. Once once a day, once every two days, the smell you get used to. And then other than that, they're just like just around.
You're Yeah, >> it's kind of like getting another living lamp.
>> It's more Yeah, it's more about the the >> the p the outside perception of you, >> right?
>> Did you like a three cat guy, did you ever think this would happen?
>> No.
>> And if you had a bigger place, like would you go four? Would you go five?
Like where? I just don't know where the [ __ ] line is.
>> Yeah, right. I Yeah, it's >> your identity is just cat guy now.
>> Cat guy.
>> I'm three cat.
>> Do you uh do you lint roll before you leave the house? Cuz I don't see you haird up.
>> No, that's what I'm saying. It's >> Are you going to start or like building them shelves?
>> Yeah.
>> Places like the second you're you start building like permanent structures in your home for >> Yeah. Are you going to build in me? I will never build a shelf, dude. I will never build.
>> Yeah, but dude, you >> I will never use a tool.
>> Okay. Would that be humiliating >> to see you use a tool?
>> I want to just be always My goal in life is to be rich enough to never touch a tool.
>> I can't handle tools.
>> We were in Home Depot. I like the look of them and the >> we were we were in the giant wrench aisle and they're just the biggest wrenches.
>> And I thought the the worst feeling a guy could have is if you like you're dating a chick and you go to her place >> and there she just has a giant [ __ ] wrench under her sink. She's like, "Oh yeah, that's my ex's."
>> Yeah, that's definitely out of her weight class.
>> Oh my god, dude. That would be the worst feeling in the world. Jack, if you go to a girl's place, she has a huge [ __ ] wrench under her sink.
>> That would be scary.
>> Yeah, dude.
>> That would be really scary. Yeah. I'd rather like >> you know her like >> I'd rather her ex have her his like football equipment.
>> Yeah. He's like pro football equipment.
>> You know that pussy's been fingered by the most callous finger >> than a massive tool.
>> Oh that he like tools.
>> That's like really tools that they're all really used and they have that >> like he's like replaced parts on them.
Just a big jackhammer.
>> A jackhammer under the sink would suck.
>> What a >> Yeah, a big hammer. A sledgehammer.
Not a jackhammer.
>> Is that your >> Is that your ex's sledgehammer?
>> Your ex's jumbo nails.
>> Oh my god. Giant [ __ ] woodworking nails.
>> Plywood.
>> Mhm.
>> Nail gun.
>> Dude, if if I eat Oh my god, the relationship's over. If I see plywood >> in a chick's place, >> she's like, "Fine, I'll go bring them back. I'll bring back the tools to him.
You can stay home.
>> Yeah, >> I'll drop them off. I'll leave I'll leave my phone here.
>> Uh, >> turn off my location. I'm going >> I'll drop >> You got to help box up your girl's ex-boyfriend's big tools.
>> You don't have a box big enough from your Amazon packages.
>> You have to take some of the tools out of the toolbox to be able to carry the toolbox to her car >> that she's driving.
>> Your girl has to bring them up to his porch. You have to take multiple trips.
>> Yeah. You're in the car. They're in your lap.
>> She's driving.
He's like, "Yeah, thanks, bud."
>> Yeah.
>> Oh, I've been looking for these.
>> Yeah, I really needed these.
>> Yeah, >> actually. Oh, and then he asks you to come in and help with something. You're just standing by helpless.
>> Tell me real quick. It's easy. I'll do most of the work.
>> Yeah.
>> They use like construction jargon that you don't know.
>> I had a guy from Wayfair come and build my kitchen table and I felt it was I like building stuff, but I had a meltdown building a dresser like this past week to the point where uh our dresser doesn't have doors. I threw them away and I like kind of c I kind of uh gaslit my fiance into thinking saying that it looks better. I was like, wouldn't it be easier just to see the clothes that you want in there? Bang, grab them. I threw away the [ __ ] doors. I can't put on >> that. That is an ambitious mission >> to the point where I paid $100, which is half the price of the table to have somebody come and build it. And he did it in 15 seconds. And then he called me up. He called me Christopher. And I listened. He yelled at me. I was in the middle of the dozen. I was like, "Hey man, I'm in a meeting." I was like, "I'm in a meeting downstairs." Cuz I couldn't tell this. I couldn't tell this blue collar dude that I have to go do trivia downstairs. Um, and then he yells, >> "I heard it. It's on tape."
>> Yeah, Christopher. And I'm like, "One second, guys." And I run upstairs to help him flip over the table. But I didn't do like he was like, "All right, you get on this side." And like when I count down and then I like it slid out of my hands. I was like, "Hold on. I can't get my fingers underneath of it."
And he was like, "I got it." And then he just flipped it himself.
>> And then he was out. He was out.
>> O. Yeah.
>> And then like he was like, "You can handle the cardboard box, right?" I'm like, "Yeah." And then he left the cardboard box for me to take down to the garage. But >> it was a lot of >> humiliation, but just paying a man to come into your home.
>> And he was like, "You want me to take my shoes off?" I'm like, "Uh, >> wouldn't mind." And he was like, "All right." And he just didn't.
And he walks in. He's calling me Christopher in front of my fiance who's like standing there. She's like standing elevated like on the steps just watching from below just like being I I felt her becoming nauseous by looking at me and I'm like all right I got to go trivia then I ran downstairs and then I miss a >> I'm with you.
>> Then I Yeah. Then I answer that [ __ ] >> in the summertime is by [ __ ] Jerry >> and then I get called by the wrong name and sprint upstairs.
>> Yeah.
>> And then I give him a hundred bucks.
>> You're focusing your eyes. Five stars.
Trying to remember Lin Manuel Miranda.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. I treat the Task Rabbit like my mom's friend. Yes. I go I go hide in the corner of my room.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. That That's humiliation.
But, you know, it's it's better to have a I was eating all my meals standing for the past week, so it's nice to have a table.
>> I always try to offer them a drink.
>> I do, too.
>> Off the rep just to kind of like set the standard like you're in my home. Yeah. I get you if you want to have something to sip. It's on >> masculine as hell.
>> I asked him for Yeah. I'm like, "Hey, fridge is right there if you want to grab a bottle of water."
>> You want a water?
>> We also have orange crush. And he took an orange crush, but it's the mini cans that you know that are smaller. It's a good size.
>> Why do you have orange crush?
>> Why do you have the mini ones, too?
>> I just was like a six-ack of Orange Crush. It's a nice dessert every once in a while.
>> A gross purchase.
>> Imagine giving so small this guy's hands.
>> Yeah. I was going to say cuz he's like, "Oh, little guys." Huh.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
I have the tool that helps open [ __ ] pop tabs on my carabiner.
>> What?
>> No, I'm joking.
>> He just does it with his big [ __ ] finger.
>> Eating standing up is some of the best meals of my life.
>> Really?
>> You some of the best bites.
>> I think when you're standing, it's when you can't wait to sit and it's you're eating because of pure hunger.
>> That's what I'm saying.
>> That's how you like your meals.
>> Oh my god. When you're too you're so hungry, you don't even >> take it off the what do you call a ledge next to a in a kitchen?
>> A counter.
>> A counter. You don't even take it.
>> Dude, what?
>> Yeah. You don't even transport it to like a table.
>> You just eat it. Yeah. Over the ledge.
>> You start like Yeah.
>> I don't think I've ever really done that.
>> Really?
>> Outside of a party.
>> There's You Dude, >> you eat it out of the fridge.
>> That's when you're really out.
>> I've done that. I've eaten the only light on. I've eaten cheese out of the fridge.
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah, >> that's nice.
>> Yeah.
>> You Your eating habits blow my mind still.
>> I don't think they're that crazy.
>> What?
>> What? What about my eating habits?
>> You had ribs at 1:00 a.m.
>> I never did that.
>> What What What did you order at 1:00 a.m.?
>> You made that up?
>> No. What did you have at 1:00 a.m. this past weekend?
>> Probably cookies.
>> No, it was like a meat. We're playing games with MSE.
>> Oh, I think I had some leftover Korean barbecue.
>> Dude, I feel bad. Mash is sitting in here right now. It was 40 degrees yesterday, but I was going through my notes app deleting jokes that I've already said and I saw one. I was like, "For when Marsh wears shorts." I was like, "Oh, okay." And I text him. I was like, "Hey man, can you wear shorts in the office tomorrow?" And walk by the yak. He's like, "Yeah, man." And it was 40 degrees. Nice favor. And he walks past and I just didn't see him. I just didn't say a word. Go.
>> You were gonna point him out and make >> I was gonna point him out and be like man's lower half on Cleveland sports Brown Indian calves and >> uh >> Wait, you should have done that. You still should.
>> Okay, man. Maybe today. We'll see.
>> Got the cleave.
>> Got the legs on Cleveland.
>> Legs on Cleave.
That's like a magician inviting someone on stage and then just not even doing a trick.
>> Not even doing a trick.
>> Getting to do the trick. Yeah. But uh he's not in shorts. Do you still have them with you?
>> I'm going to need you to change before the gak.
>> Dude, you got to do brown Indian calves.
>> Okay.
>> And hopefully like the people listening have already laughed at it.
>> Oh yeah, that'll be cool.
>> Yeah, >> that'll be cool. And you can see how how it's made.
>> How uh how predetermined every joke I make is.
But that's Yeah. Brown Indian calves is just right. Oh my god.
>> It works perfect. It works perfect.
>> That's one of those ones that falls into your lap.
>> Yeah.
>> Get lucky every time.
>> Task rabbit isn't doing that.
>> Yeah. Let's see my task rabbit do that.
Let's see my task rabbit use his minority friend to my own gain.
Mhm.
>> Speaking of Cleveland, my friend uh texted me and said, "We have to accept that Cleveland is a coastal city now."
>> What?
>> Why?
>> You like Erie?
>> Yeah.
>> What What happened? What did he say?
>> He said, "We need to accept that Cleveland is like a coastal city.
>> We need to accept >> Yeah.
>> Yeah. I mean, cities on the Great Lakes are coastal. They're pretty indistinguishable from ocean coasts.
>> Um >> very seasonally dependent. I think there's a pretty pretty uh >> I think there's a huge difference.
>> Yeah. I think the whole way the city's built and like you could tell when you're in a coastal city.
>> I think it comes down >> if you dropped somebody in Chicago, I don't think they think they're going to be they're on an ocean.
>> If you walk We have a beach.
>> Yeah. But >> if you walk along the beach like you're on a beach, >> the the way the water moves, there's not waves. There's not peers. It's energetically like a very navy pure cut.
>> Yeah.
>> I think it's like the the fisherman thing for me personally. That's like what makes the big difference.
>> Like a fisherman town or >> Yeah. It's like there's not like a ton of fisherman. There's not like a fish smell. That's like >> Yeah. The fish smell is big, but there are the seagulls.
>> I did notice that the other day. There's a [ __ ] smell.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. Every coastal beach town smells like fish.
>> Chicago and Cleveland's more of a beach town or a coastal town than LA.
>> You're [ __ ] nuts.
>> No. The city of LA isn't on the beach.
>> Okay.
>> You're you're out of city limits when you get to the coast.
>> So, you're comparing the beaches, >> but Cleveland actually is right on the right on the water.
>> Yeah.
>> It's part of the skyline.
>> Yeah. But they don't have a >> Milwaukee coastal town.
>> You need a pier, though.
>> Traverse City coastal town. You don't need a pier.
>> I think you need a >> You don't need coastal fish smell.
>> A a feel, look, and smell. There's a lot that goes into it.
>> You're talking about just like a a quaint a quintessential quaint beach town is what you're thinking of. It's just it's not a beach town, >> dude. The Great Lakes are That's a body of that. Yes. Yes.
>> So, is Wheeling, West Virginia a [ __ ] >> rivers? No, rivers aren't.
>> Why?
>> They're too narrow.
>> Okay. What about a wide ass?
>> You look You look out into the [ __ ] Great Lakes, you can't see the end.
>> Okay.
>> They're massive.
>> Yeah.
>> Okay, fair enough.
>> I don't know.
>> I'm not excited.
>> You get my what? I get your arguments.
>> Thank you.
>> I do appreciate that, dude. Uh the cast list was announced today for Survivor and I'm doing it.
>> I figured you were. Yeah, I knew you were.
>> I uh >> this is this is your thing. Like you're great at this.
>> I think the goal and this is winning would be sick. Winning would be sick, but if it if it's at the cost of like looking like a [ __ ] I don't think worth it. But it is I don't know what the prize pool is actually. It's a laser trip wire because >> you know >> the game is an it's a psychological experiment.
>> I think fourth place is the sweetest spot.
>> It forces you to make horrific decisions and have horrific decisions made as toward you.
>> With people that you you know >> it's at your lowest. And I'm at a point in my life where I uh >> I I want to be liked so badly that I've forgotten how to form an opinion and I'm a husk of a person.
>> Oh wow.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I can't have any takes, so I need to And I'm I'm af I'm I'm afraid to piss people off so badly that it pisses people off.
>> You I wish you would have more takes.
>> You're great conversationally. You're great at like potent witty comeback. I'm not fishing for this and you can >> All right.
>> You can give people some [ __ ] in a good way, but >> dude, but like the thing is I don't handle it well. When I said Malcolm in the Middle theme song isn't good, people wanted me hanged.
>> But you got to really like you got to commit to it.
>> I know.
>> In such a way.
>> I don't think the theme song's good.
>> And I don't get the point of Legos.
>> Oh, the Lego tag.
>> The Lego take >> that's that's >> I get the point of Legos. I think it's a fun construction. I don't get the point of showcasing your Legos.
>> How do you not of all people? How do you not?
>> That's what everybody's saying, right?
>> Yeah, you should.
>> It doesn't look as good as like a model.
>> And it's just like what? I Yeah, I built that. Yeah, it's a kids toy.
>> Oh, you're talking about adults.
>> Yes, >> kids room with Legos.
>> It's a whole different thing. But >> it looks I mean, yeah, I have Pokemon cards displayed, so it's like a tough thing, but >> yeah, I was going to say some of the things that you have displayed, >> but you know, you you like things you don't they're not funny to you. I think that's the difference. Like you like having things that like have sentimental value. Like if you built a Titanic, they're proud of the fact that they're like, "Oh, I built this."
>> No. Are they proud of the fact that they built it? It's not the Lego is known for having the clearest, easiest instructions.
>> Yeah. But I think it's a display of like, look at my discipline in my hobby.
>> My discipline?
>> Yeah, >> it's Legos.
>> Yeah. But some of these things are [ __ ] huge. Like the adult ones have like mechanisms.
>> It's not hard. It's timeconuming.
>> I'm not saying it's hard. I'm just saying that that's where they come from.
>> That that Lego Titanic looks sick. I don't know. I was I was a Mega Block kid growing up. I never had the Legos.
>> I don't even know what that is.
>> I think it was kind of the offshoot.
>> The offbrand Lego.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. No.
>> So, you're going into you're going into surviving mentally weak, self-conscious.
Yes. And vulnerable >> and tiptoeing on not wanting to piss anybody off in an elimination game for probably a lot of money. The producers are rubbing their hands right now.
>> No, we'll see.
>> A quarter million.
>> Is it? There's just no way.
>> So, >> so what was your last one? You were season one.
>> That was season one for $5,000.
>> Yeah, I think mine was season two and I think it was 10. Okay.
>> Maybe. I can't remember.
>> But the thing is with season one, that was during COVID in New York City. And I got I the the whole premise was like, yeah, you're going to have to survive in the office. The office was significantly comfier and cozier than my apartment and it had more stuff and food and I got food. So, it's like that was >> a vacation. I was happy to be there.
>> All inclusive, all funded vacation.
>> With all the reality shows happening now that we do and seeing the fallout of that and then having a lot of people from the reality shows doing it has me nervous of like I just don't even want to be in the background of an argument.
>> Yeah, it's tough. I think you're you're like the best person equipped to evade drama and conflict while still >> Yeah. I don't know.
>> Keeping um >> I turn into a dick if I get like embarrassed like in like a competition because I know I'm not very athletic, but I still get embarrassed because I know it's going to be out there.
>> Stifle that for the cameras.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> What was your strategy for season one?
Cuz you went all the way to the end.
>> I did. Um, my strategy with that one was, um, try to make as few enemies as possible and at the end they would vote for me. Um, Tommy Smokes went the route of his final speech was like, I'm smarter than all of you. I'm better than all of you and this and they still voted for him. So, >> yeah, he's run that play a lot of times.
>> He's run that play a lot of times.
>> Believed it.
>> He's very good.
>> He is.
>> He's very, very good.
>> So, I don't know. I don't even have any alliances. cuz I think some of these people already have alliances forged >> for sure.
>> Yeah.
>> I walked into my season and everyone had already been communicating and I was like, "What the fuck?"
>> You made it to the second place though, right?
>> I moved to Eddie.
>> I lost to Eddie. Well, I made it to the finals, zero votes.
>> Uh, got blanked and then I got to the finals of most dangerous, got one vote.
So, we're we're increasing at 100% clip each finals.
>> I was a Tristick vote away from winning it. and she ended up voting for Briana and that was the one Briana vote and so then Briana came in third and she got to do the tiebreak vote for Meet Your Tommy.
>> That's right.
>> And she went to Tommy.
>> Um >> and like I'll forever >> hate her.
>> That always that that Yeah, that mentally broke her though, didn't it?
>> Uh yeah, I think she cried afterwards. I was like, "Listen, it's not a big deal."
>> Yeah.
>> But I said that not knowing the monster it would create in Tommy.
that created >> that was a turning point of just like >> Tommy became God in that moment.
>> Yeah. He decided he was Michael.
>> He hasn't come down.
>> He has not come down. No, he has not come down. And he's going to do he's probably going to do the same thing he does every time with these shows where he's like, I won the last one. There's no way if you take me to the end.
There's no way.
>> There's no way anybody's going to vote for me.
>> And then it's like, yeah, okay, cool.
You know, >> no, but I'm going to do some research and I want to I want to be I want to be good at playing the game this time. I was good at the social game last time, but not good at the actual game. So, I want to be good at playing the game.
>> Oh, I'm terrible at the I was terrible at the actual game. I was good at the the social one, but >> we'll see how it goes.
>> Yeah, deception.
>> Kyle, you said no to it.
>> Absolutely, dude. No, >> I'm very protective. I I will not even put myself in the chance of conflict with colleagues.
>> You've never once?
>> No chance.
>> You've never had a >> No. I wouldn't be able to vote somebody out. Yeah, >> because in my head it's not worth >> Yeah. the riskreward.
>> Like the thing is it's just like Yeah.
It's just a game and like you know everything go it's you have to but >> there is like a personal if they vote you out that's >> inherently personal.
>> It always is. It's just part of the game. It's nothing on anybody in particular.
>> As soon as you get voted out >> or somebody votes you out. It's personal. And the thing is like I get like you vote out the people that you view as the biggest competition, but those first couple rounds it's people you don't want to be around.
>> Yeah. Those are the >> like in my season first vote out was White Sox Dave. We're like we got to get this guy out of here. Night one he was there one night he blacked out drunk and he says he sleptwalked to the subway. He didn't. He was just wasted. And his his feet looked like [ __ ] Frodo. Yeah. He looked like a hobbit. Like it was they were pitch black from the I would say it's ashier than Mordor. He >> had Mordor feet.
>> He had soot all over his body.
>> Yeah. But >> and like the thing is we we voted him out cuz he was just wasted. And at the time I didn't know him and I didn't get his I like now I adore White Socks Dave.
I genuinely do.
>> But and then he he was like well I got nowhere else to be and he just stayed.
>> He wasn't doing any of the competitions.
He was in the office the rest of the week and he was just partying every night.
>> Wasn't that where the cowboy was born?
He found a cowboy hat.
>> He found a cowboy hat and he's like >> I Yeah, that was my first interaction with him and I >> Oh my god. I would do it way differently if I could.
>> The uh You're right though. The early votes are rough cuz I remember on Most Dangerous we did skydiving for the first competition and Dana was too fat to skydive.
>> That was crazy.
>> He was too fat to fall to the earth. So >> dude, it's either that. It's either you're too fat for the parachute or too fat for an airplane. And I don't know which one's worse.
>> Well, this is the crazy thing. So, he got in the airplane with us just to like for the just so for the shoot, I guess, or the edit. So, he'd be in there.
>> And um so we go up on the airplane.
Everyone skydives. He stays in the airplane. And those skydive airplanes, they ascend and descend very quickly cuz they want to go quick.
>> And so we all do the skydive. We do the puzzle after the skydive.
>> Skydiving has been like a thing. I'm sorry to interrupt. and a lot of bar things.
>> It's the scariest [ __ ] thing in the world and everybody just says yes to it.
>> Yeah. I think most people just didn't want to seem like a [ __ ] >> That's fine to seem like a [ __ ] if you don't want to jump out of an airplane.
>> Yeah, >> you're not a [ __ ] if you don't want to jump out of an airplane.
>> I think you kind of I mean on a show TV show where everyone else does it, you kind of are.
>> We've normalized skydiving here to an extent where everybody says like, "Yeah, we'll just go skydive."
One in a thousand people should have skydive.
Maybe more. What do you mean?
>> Like it's it shouldn't be just a normalized thing where it's just like, "Yeah, we'll go skydive for this one."
>> Yeah, I agree. It was fun. It was definitely [ __ ] scary. But Dana, we get back. It >> wasn't fun.
>> Dana, >> I agree. It's not fun. It's not fun until the parachute comes out.
>> Skydiving then you're >> Wait, you've been skydiving?
>> Um, no. But uh >> no, but I'm just thinking like you have to perform an action in order to deploy the parachute. I always forget what it is. You have to pull something. You don't have to do anything. You >> pull a string.
>> Yeah. You're strapped to another guy.
>> So he has to pull.
>> So your life is completely in the hands.
>> You're doing literally nothing.
>> I need this guy to pull a string.
>> Yeah.
>> And you just What if he uh faints?
>> Yeah. GG's. Yeah, >> but that's the fun part, dude.
>> No, that's not fun. I never got the fun of just like, "Dude, that was so fun. I was so [ __ ] scared.
>> I don't know this guy. Is he gonna pull the [ __ ] string?"
>> Yeah.
>> Oh, my my guy was >> I wouldn't be able to en I'd be freaking out until he pulled the string and then I still kind of would.
>> Yeah, but he wants to live.
>> But part of him doesn't cuz he skydives professionally.
>> You know how many like [ __ ] I've pulled and like the thing didn't come out completely?
>> No.
>> Or didn't come come out at all? You you versus any kind of like tool, technology, mechanism. Yeah. You can't do it cuz you have this like weird ability where everything you try to interact with.
>> He doesn't Kyle doesn't attempt for directions or instructions.
>> Yeah.
>> You just do.
>> Uh-huh. Yeah.
>> Like you zone out when there's instructions given.
>> But yeah, so we get down and Dana threw up from >> from just that.
>> So he didn't skydive.
>> Completely understandable.
>> He didn't skydive. Threw up. Uh too fat to skydive threw up. And then the first vote we were like, "Well, Dana didn't skydive, so we kind of got to vote him out." And I I couldn't do it because I felt so bad because he literally flew out for this was fat shamed, puked, and then would just be voted out.
>> I think Okay, here's a take. I think there's activities that people only do to say that they did. Skydiving.
>> Mhm.
>> Going to China. Voting.
>> That's not uh voting. Uh concerts.
>> Uh not concerts. and >> not China.
>> Voting. Voting for sure.
>> Yeah, dude.
>> Dude. Dude, if honestly if I just had the roll of stickers that said I voted in front of the place the where the polling place, people just grab those and leave.
>> 100%. 100,000%.
>> Yeah.
>> Um yeah, skydiving is one of the activities just to say you did it.
>> Yeah, I'd say that's definitely part of it. First 20 seconds are euphoric, >> but the descent you are correct.
>> Sushi.
>> Okay. Now, >> now you're you're he's trying to get opinions off. Yeah, he's trying to stack opinions.
>> Oysters. Yes.
>> Nope.
>> Delicious.
>> No.
>> You can't you you can't be taken seriously in regards to food.
>> Yeah, I can.
>> No, you're you you've been boundaried and >> Yeah.
>> My pal my pallet's A1. No, it isn't.
>> No, you you're blacklisted from the FDA.
>> Yeah. Like, dude, yeah, you He's right about that.
>> You're like in an You're in an enclosure that you don't even know what's going on. You're like one of those tribes that's unconte, >> dude. Well, yeah. You don't experience it anymore.
>> No, I do. I But I prioritize fuel.
>> You eat like a like a caveman. You like eat you eat like roots and [ __ ] >> No, I don't.
>> Yeah.
>> No, no, no.
>> You can't even enjoy bread.
>> I eat foods that are shaped like other foods >> and flavored like a third food.
>> Yeah. You eat interpretations of other food.
>> Yeah.
>> You Yeah. You eat like your mouth as a as a child at playtime.
>> I I think I think other people out there like me where I prior I think feel is I like the way it feels like the my bo the sensation on my body when I bite through like a satellite wafer >> or a communion host. That's what I'm saying.
>> You got some weird consumption issues.
>> You're not a chew guy. I'm a I'm like I'm pound for pound one of like the most efficient eaters we have. I'm one of the best eaters.
>> You You do it lightning fast.
>> My natural pace. I'm the best natural eater.
>> We're going to Gibson when it comes. Are you ordering a steak?
>> No.
>> What are you going to get?
>> I'm I'm the fastest eater.
>> You think so?
>> My pace like I'm not Don't compare me to people who do competitions and eat till they get sick. Yeah. And like have to endure past the discomfort.
No, my natural like my natural satiation point to get from A to B. I'm the best.
>> It's because you eat fish.
>> I'm the best. I don't I don't stuck.
>> Yeah. Fish just crumble. Literally, you don't even have to chew it. You put it in your mouth and if we if you got a steak, you'd be stuck on it for days.
>> I think you like steak and you want steak, but you don't have the dexterity to hold fork and knife.
>> Not too hungry.
>> You're too hungry.
>> I always say this. Yeah.
>> You don't You think chewing takes too long? Do you like the taste of steak?
Love it. It's the best.
>> And that's why you get >> uh tartar.
>> Like tartar. Yeah.
>> You're just like me. I can eat with that.
>> You're You're a soft merchant. You You >> Greek yogurts. You eat Greek yogurt.
>> Oh, I [ __ ] hate Greek yogurt. Really?
I [ __ ] hate it. Smells chew.
>> Smells like old socks. I hate Greek yogurt.
>> [ __ ] clears the room. Greek yogurt, dude.
>> Hate that [ __ ] >> Don't put that on me. Overnight oats.
No, >> overnight oats are [ __ ] disgusting.
Oh, there's so many.
>> What if oatmeal was cold as [ __ ] and gross?
>> Yeah.
>> Greek yogurt's good. Greek yogurt's as good as ice cream.
>> God, dude.
>> You're still going, huh?
>> Yeah. Yeah. I'm just test I'm testing some [ __ ] out.
>> I like that though, dude.
>> Greek yogurt's as good as ice.
>> Yeah, Greek yogurt is 60% of ice cream.
>> No. No.
>> I think so. One every morning. And vanilla is the best flavor. I don't like that vanilla's used for calling things plain.
>> Yeah, you're right. That's kind of that is unfair to vanilla because they >> It's a fantastic flavor.
>> It's a dessert decadent flavor. Yeah.
>> And it just gets thrown in as lame.
>> Yeah. It's a great flavor. It's the best.
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>> Dude, speaking of life changes, you with the third cat and new apartment with me with a new apartment. Rudy, you're getting a new apartment, >> but it's not so new.
>> It is not new. It's an apartment I've been to. [ __ ] up.
>> You're getting Chef Donniey's spot.
>> I am.
>> Oh, that's not even a home.
>> It's an industrial It looks like a Supreme store.
>> It does. Yeah. It's a It's a place where you buy sneakers and cellophane.
>> Yeah. It's like a It's like, "Oh, hey, here's some Travis Scott sneakers. Do you want some incense?"
>> Yeah. It's Yeah. It's You're living in K.
>> I am living in K.
>> Yep. Which tracks for me?
>> But >> No, I think it's a great great move. But >> could you live somewhere, >> Donnie?
>> Yeah. Like I'm sure there's still like the >> He threw ragers there. Some foul business been done in that. moans of [ __ ] bottle girls still rattle the halls.
>> Yeah, >> my girl my girlfriend is like dead serious when she said that we have to she was she's going to sage it and spiritually clean it.
>> It's an amazing spot. I've said it on the yak. The first thing Chef Donnie did when we went there was we crammed the shower to see how many men it could fit.
Nine.
>> It's it's a sweet spot.
>> I missed that.
>> But uh the one big >> You were in the shower. You were in there.
>> I was.
>> Yes.
>> Oh, it's awesome.
>> You were covered in soot. It's got a steam. It's got a steam.
>> Yeah. It's an incredible like it's like a resort.
>> It's huge. Um >> it looks like a resort Kanye stays at in Utah.
>> Yeah. It's like a rock wall.
>> Like Yeah. Like you're surrounded by concrete yet it's cozy.
>> Yeah. He he he would text me the other day. He's like, "You want to you want to keep the rock wall?"
>> And I was like, "Yeah, I get I don't know." Donnie, >> I don't want to say too much, but you are you're not living alone.
>> Yeah. Bring in the lady.
>> Is it going to be possible to have a feminine touch in such a brutalist place? Yeah.
>> Um >> because I don't I think flowers would just instantly die in there.
>> Yeah, they would. Yeah, it's kind of like Mordor.
>> Yeah. Like I think the only You know how like when they're building new Taco Bells, they put on that like I don't know why they're doing it. Taco Bells are getting brutalist where they're just like perfect gray cubes with one rusty metal wall on the outside. That's the kind of you need rusty metal art.
>> Yeah. It's like Moscow style. Yeah. I don't know. I'm pro I think there's a pretty serious embargo on me decorating.
>> Sure. Yes. Understand? Yes, >> I do have some I would say brave ideas that are instantly dashed by the uh haters, but the the one worry is that it's like an old loft. It's like kind of an I think it's an old industrial space.
So like I was worried about lead and they have to disclose that because it's a pre978 building or whatever. Anyways, they said that there's been like no reports of it. But the my I kept pressing them about it. I was like, "Have you done a test like is it you never noticed it or no one's ever looked kind of thing." And they were getting kind of annoyed and then I was like getting in my own head because >> dude with with how hard it is to get apartments here. You were pressing about just take the lead.
>> I know, right? And like the odds of it actually being an issue are like very small. But I was like staring at my ceiling at night thinking about our friend Chef Donnie. And Donnie the whole time's like, "Dude, the place is great.
They're great. Everything's great." I'm like, "There's no way there's not a catch." And then I would start doing the math and Chef Donnie his brain has deteriorated significantly exactly in the time frame that he's lived in this place.
>> Dude, I think that's a good call. Yeah.
>> Yeah, that is it's Yeah. Like Donnie two years ago, three years ago was sharp as attack.
>> Everyone was like, "Oh, he's a smart, handsome chef."
>> Dude, I remember he I don't know if we've talked about this. He pulled me and Kyle aside in New York and he was like, "Dude, like I'm not funny. I should stop trying to be funny. I'm just going to put out serious easy cooking videos.
>> And we were like, absolutely >> smart move.
>> Yeah. Don't even don't try to >> like I've seen you try and fall flat on your face. You just don't have it.
>> Just stay out of the com.
>> Leave it to us, bud.
>> It's our thing. You just do informative and uh educational.
>> And then he moved to this lead riddled dude. Honestly, I think like he probably might have gotten tetanus lead raidon.
>> Yes. So yeah, they're like, "There's no issue." And I'm like, "We have a I've noticed something.
>> We have a Chernobyl victim right here."
>> Yeah. Like >> which honestly >> he lived there for one year and forgot how to spell.
>> Yes. Second point, >> he's been on an absolutely vertical trajectory.
>> That's true.
>> So maybe we introduce some lead.
>> He's a [ __ ] star and the funniest guy I know.
>> Maybe maybe what I need is some lead poisoning.
>> He's become like more adorable. He's dressing cooler. Yes. And he's hilarious.
>> Yes.
>> Yeah. I mean, >> right.
>> I could also see him just straight up experimenting with lead. That's what I'm saying.
>> Like, yeah, I bought a lead toothbrush.
>> Yeah. He's micro doing lead. Yes. Yeah.
Like Rasputin.
>> But, uh, yeah, I think that that's may I mean, you know, if I get lead poisoning, maybe I'll be featured in the thumbnails sometimes I, you know, all of a sudden in the putt putt, >> it's cat and jund. Oh, Rudy. Yeah, you don't get the you don't get the thumbnail.
>> Oh, I'm I'm at like a 10% clip. And if I'm in it, if it's like a big ensemble like the things we do, I'm at like I might get a pixel.
>> And that pixel is photoshopped to [ __ ] >> Oh, yeah. But uh Yeah. So maybe maybe the the >> we've been Mr. Beastifying all of our thumbnails here. And I'm sure it's like intentional to for the algorithm. I don't know if Beast sets the algorithm or not, but all of our thumbnails are just like, "All right, let's make their eyes a little bigger. Let's saturate them and like make them look damp."
>> Yeah.
>> And their teeth are white as [ __ ] >> It looks like we live in like a the Wii universe.
>> There's the Boulder Dash one of me where I think there was a microphone in front of my face, so they just decided to AI what the rest of my face looks like. And I look Weasley.
>> Oh, yeah. That ain't you?
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. White Sox Dave looks Muslim.
>> Yeah, he does.
Yeah, he does.
>> Mhm. I look fat.
>> You've been weird about this.
>> I'm fat.
>> I uh >> Stop stop bringing it up.
>> You keep on bringing up that you're fat and I think you want us to say you're not.
>> Yeah, we have your fat fatigue.
>> I know. I'm >> You're wearing me out and like, dude, I was I was talking to your girlfriend.
Um, it was like a we we went off did like a one-on-one thing over and uh nice.
>> She she was showing me texts from you and you she was just like, "Hey, do you want to watch a movie tonight?" And you were just like, "Yeah, my fat [ __ ] lardy ass wants to watch a movie tonight."
And I'm not am I exaggerating whatsoever?
>> No. No. It's kind of the It's kind of the new bid I've been running where I >> But like what do you want from this? I I get a kick out of taking on the the sort of feminine role of being like, "Sorry, my fat ass is [ __ ] annoying."
>> Baby, you're perfect.
>> Um, no, I don't. And it's nice cuz now she she is not fat whatsoever. But she has also taken on to where we just call each other fat ass, fat, jiggly whales.
>> Dude, I tried that on my fiance where I was just like, "Oh my god, I do not like how I looked in the mirror." And she was just like, "You were too skinny when we started dating." So she she acknowledged that I put on some.
>> Yeah. And I'd like to say that it's like a long con where I can just fat shame my girlfriend under the guise of a bit.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Right. We do it to each other.
>> Uh-huh. Yeah. Like I'll say >> No, but you're like you're doing it to No. Like I've heard you do it to other people too.
>> Yeah.
>> And you're just like I think we were taking pictures at Marsh's engagement party and you were like I'm not going to be in this one. I [ __ ] can't I It was something about the photo and then you walked into Kyle's house warming and you took off your jacket and then you walked past something reflective. I think it was your fridge.
>> Yeah.
>> And then you went and you belineed back to your jacket and put it on, zipped it up.
>> Yeah. You put your jacket back on.
>> No, I mean I I mean I like compared like compared to me trying to bystand you just said like every vowel. I owe you >> because like I do it as as a joke, but at the same time like if you look at photos of me from 2019, I'm I look like Orson Wells.
>> I don't know what Orson Wells. Yeah, >> he sounds like a >> Orson Wells. He's got He's fat or fat like a fat white man. Yes. Yes, >> dude. You kind of are. You're a little Orson.
>> Yeah, my eyes my eyes are getting shrunk like Gaza. Like it's just continuously it's over.
>> Let me go back to your apartment.
>> Okay.
>> Living. What is is Chef Donnie ever going to be out of your brain?
Everything you do in that apartment, he's done.
>> It's a huge issue.
>> He was here. He did this. He did this.
He [ __ ] here. He [ __ ] here. He came here. He sat here. He farted here.
>> Yeah. I think I I don't know how to approach it. Uh cuz >> I don't even like seeing I've been getting the mail of the previous tenant in my noob spot. I don't even like seeing the name. I like to think I was the first one there.
>> Oh, yeah. That's a horrible feel. It's always a whack name.
>> Yeah, it is. Um, but I'm worried that he's one, his presence is going to be felt everywhere.
>> Yeah.
>> It's going to creep into my mind. Uh, and then cuz I I have this weird thing where I associate like objects as having like a personality and them being my thing. Like when I sit in a theater chair, in my head it's my chair, but it's everyone's chair, >> right?
>> And that bothers me. And then I also think that he's the kind of guy where he's just going to be walking by. If he's walking by, he's going to just venture in and >> pop in and it's still kind of like his, >> right?
>> Like even if you have a get together, he comes in. It's not your place anymore.
>> Correct. And he he's he's >> and he's had all of us over there.
Everybody in this office, he throws a Halloween party. Jack, have you been there?
>> I have not. Okay.
>> He's You haven't been here since.
>> So that'll be Rudy's place to Jack.
>> Yeah.
>> Everybody else party place.
>> It'll be Donny's place to your home.
>> It's not going to be your home at all.
Yeah. And I don't like the I don't watch the movie like, "All right, I'm going to go to Donniey's room and lay down.
>> I'm going to Donniey's dance floor."
>> I'm on the lease. It's my space >> to do Pilates on Donniey's dance floor.
>> I'll walk around [ __ ] naked at the party. Like I might have to go like >> I don't know how you make it yours.
>> I think I have to go like David.
>> It's a weird thing because it's a great spot and you didn't really have to do the the rat race of finding a spot because before it went on the market, you went to it, right?
>> So smart.
>> We did under the table deals. Yeah, but I think I need to go like primate style.
>> Your [ __ ] Throw your [ __ ] >> Yeah. I need like if you guys all come over for the Halloween party, which he's like, "You got to >> You're throwing a Halloween party."
>> He's like, "You got to throw >> You can't You're You're Donnie.
>> I told him that. I was like, I can't do it. You're the guy more that it's his place.
>> Give me Yeah, cuz he's going to come over and it's going to be >> And also, Donnie was always the guy with the sick place. If he's moving out of it, he's probably moving to his really [ __ ] sick place." But I think I Yeah, I need to like if we do have a party there, the only chance I have of making it my own is if I like walk around naked and spread my [ __ ] on.
>> You can't even do a housewarming party cuz the tour is going to be boring.
>> It's already been done.
>> It's already been done.
>> Yeah, we've seen it all. We ran through that place.
>> Yeah, we passed that [ __ ] around.
>> I'm canceling the lease. I'll break the lease.
>> Speaking of houses, uh Virgil Abau's place is up for sale in Lincoln Park. $8 million.
>> Virgil spot. Yeah, if we want to buy it.
Talk about big shoes to fill.
>> Yeah. God damn.
>> Yeah. Does he Did he leave his like sick clothes there or why else would I want it?
>> It's probably a nice house, right? He had probably a good taste. Oh, it's sold for six mill.
>> I don't understand.
>> Oh, that's sick. Who bought it?
Sick closer.
>> Yeah. I don't understand. Like, oh, Virgil lived here. I get maybe.
>> Yeah, I don't know.
>> People like that [ __ ] >> But you're gonna do that. Yeah. Chef Donnie lived here.
>> Oh, >> it bothers me.
>> That's a fun fact about your place now.
>> It really is. Lead poisoning and Chef Donnie.
>> No, it's a sick spot. You're I think you have the same you have the same personality that you're a guy that can live in a spot like that.
>> Yeah, it tracks with where I That's where I kind of place I should be.
>> I don't know if a guy like me can have a spot like that.
>> Yeah. like, oh, I have like a cool job, but like ultimately like kind of, you know, like it's the kind of place for a struggling artist.
>> No, it's not. It's for a place with struggling art. A struggling artist who has the richest parents parents.
>> Yeah, they're struggling at selling their art, but they are fine.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. I'm about to break through. I'm about to break through. I'm about to be so [ __ ] poor, too, man.
>> Yeah.
>> Oh my god, dog.
>> I Nobody tells you this. Every day costs $1,000.
>> It's insane, dude.
>> It's a lot of charges. Yeah.
>> I spent $1,000 this morning before I saw my penis.
>> That should never happen. I had to buy a flight to a wedding. Every wedding's grand.
>> If you go to 50 weddings uh every If you go to 10 weddings a year, that's 10 grand.
>> Yeah. It's absurd. There needs to be some sort of like government like grit system.
>> Everybody, this is why I hear this. I'm like, dude, I don't I'm not inviting you to my wedding.
>> I'm not giving Cody a gift.
>> I accidentally got uninvited to Cody's wedding.
>> H >> he's like he came up to me a few months ago and was like so no go on the wedding. I was like what are you talking about? He's like sent you an invite. I'm like oh dude I didn't even see. He's like I know what you're doing.
>> And then he walked away.
>> Yeah. He's trying to me. You trying to you getting you getting at me, huh? You getting at me. I'm like dude drop the Malibu's most wanted. Like I just didn't see it. I'd love to go. And he's like no I get it. I'll get it. And then he walked away.
>> Yeah. And I was like, I guess I'm not going.
>> Yeah. What a tactic.
>> I was like, I guess I'm not going.
>> What an uninvite.
>> Yeah.
>> Never even saw it.
>> It's the It's his He's panicked because his wedding is the same time as the NHL draft in the in the same block in Buffalo. And so every hotel >> booking process reflects that.
>> Oh, sure does.
>> We had to like >> when he invited me, I'm like, "Yeah, hell yeah. Buffalo would be quick, cheap flight." Yeah, >> we had to talk to chat bots.
>> Did you?
>> You don't want to talk to the chat bots >> about what?
>> Like pulling strings. Like what do I do?
Like, >> dude, I'm commuting to his wedding from Rochester.
>> That's the only thing I could I could swing.
>> That's a tough one to be overshadowed by the draft.
>> The funny thing is that if you go out outside of a onem radius, it'd be completely fine.
>> Yes.
>> Because the NHL draft, >> I think they're next door.
>> Yeah. Is not is not the, you know, it's not Laal La Palooa. This is my reluctance to even invite any loved ones to my wedding. So, >> you should only invite the people you hate to your wedding.
>> You're just like giving them a rant.
Here's a free pet peeve and a rant that you can complain about to everyone.
>> I'm excited and honored to go to Cody's wedding. He's a great guy.
>> Yeah. But it is like the the funny thing about weddings is you're asking your friends to spend a bunch of money to have you do a >> deal. Everyone says this. Then I'm like, "All right, here. RVP to to your nightmare."
>> Yeah.
>> RSVP to like your biggest pet peeve.
Yeah.
>> RVP to the thing that's going to ruin your summer.
>> Yeah. Can you please do it through the official website?
>> You can't just text me.
>> Yeah. Like, >> and I got And then you got to pick what you want to eat. I don't know what the [ __ ] I want to eat until choose your dinner that you want in three months.
>> I'm like, I don't know. Who knows if I want >> Oh, come on. This is why people are afraid to invite people to their wedding. Good.
>> And you guys hate everything.
>> No, we choose something to talk about.
>> I know. I'm excited to go and I think weddings are beautiful and I get I get mistied at all weddings.
>> I think it's beautiful.
>> It's never once touched me.
>> Dude, I've been I've been really letting some tears go.
I cried at a Rugrats clip.
>> Jesus.
>> I know.
>> I don't cry very often to any kind of media, but recently I got one from Love on the Spectrum.
>> Really? You cried over it?
>> It was beautiful, man.
>> I'm sure it is. Those guys just feel >> they were It was They were so happy and they were just like autistically vibrating at the proposal.
>> That's beautiful.
>> I couldn't believe it.
>> I need to watch that.
>> That and Click.
>> Click Will Make You Cry. My Dog Skip will make you cry. Um >> Marley and Me. I haven't seen >> I refuse to watch that now.
>> Yeah.
>> Songs have been making me emotional.
>> Yeah. M83 made me cry one time.
>> Rev 83.
>> Yeah.
>> Like that one. The The >> No, I can't remember which one it was.
It was different. What was it called?
Like Midnight something.
>> Yeah. Yeah. No, not Midnight City, but it was a different one. But I cried in a in a van. Were you high? No. I was in Texas at I had jock rot and I thought my life was over on.
>> What's jock rot?
>> It's where your dick gets all [ __ ] up.
>> Oh, you had Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Wait, your penis like started rotting.
>> It was terrible, dude. I thought I thought I had >> contagious fungal infection.
>> It was terrible. I was living penis.
>> I was living in like uh we for our mini camp in juniors in Texas in the summer.
We were staying in this like baseball.
were telling us about >> dormatory. It was like 100°. We were moving like Marines like you know in the like Jarhead or whatever where it shows the barracks and it's just like a a a temporary trailer. Yeah. And and you're just dying of heat and then >> I was just like >> fighting for my [ __ ] life trying to make this team. It was horrible. And then so that that's how you that's how you cry to M83 in a van.
>> Yeah.
>> Okay.
>> It worked out though.
>> Say less.
>> Yeah. I think that was more of the situation than the song.
>> Probably.
>> Yeah. You were probably just pretty upset.
>> Yeah, probably. Mhm. I've never seen any of you guys cry.
>> Yeah. I've never seen you cry.
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'll keep it that way.
>> Yeah. Please.
>> Oh my god.
>> Please.
>> I don't know who I'd rather be.
>> Oh, you'd rather be the crier. And I'd rather be so sad where I'm weeping in front of those who I respect than having to see that.
>> Have you ever cried at a movie?
>> At a movie?
>> Yeah. Or like a video?
>> St. Vincent with Bill Murray made me cry, too.
>> But not sad. It was just beautiful.
>> Trying to think.
>> Yeah.
>> Um, yeah.
I don't know. Um, yeah, I've definitely cried at movies. Um, like [ __ ] [ __ ] has to be like realistic.
>> You're not cry you're not crying at Lord. You're not crying at Lord of the Rings. I'm crying at like Wikipedia, >> dude.
>> Just because there's so many good sections, >> dude. That makes sense. When you find a good ass page on Wikipedia, >> like dude, this >> what percentage of your reading has been >> dog is going to do it to me? This story, >> it's every successful person in the world, every every notable person in the world, you read their Wikipedia and it's like just riddled with tragedy and it always ends horrifically.
>> Yeah.
>> The more you achieve, the worse your tragedies are.
>> It's like I don't know if that >> it's like we were preset to have a a very >> even amount of satisfaction. But look at the most successful. Has Portoy had a tragedy?
>> Portoy is the exception. He's the grand exception. Nothing but come ups.
>> He's never had a tragedy.
I don't think.
>> Yeah. Um 498 was the winning percentage of Eli Manning going into his last game.
>> No way.
>> His winning percentage as a starter.
>> Okay.
116 and 116 or 116 and 1170. Yeah, he closed it out with a win.
>> So he's he retired 500 to solidify himself as a Hall of Fame probable >> I think he has to be. He has to be.
>> Is he not in yet?
>> He beat one of the best teams of all time >> in the Super Bowl.
>> And that outweighs the mediocrity in regular season.
>> I think it has >> I think it does too. I think it's if you can dominate the granddaddy like that, >> he has to be >> cuz no that's all people care about.
>> He was not elected the second candy's debate due to Leos.
>> Did he beat Brady twice?
>> Yeah.
>> I'm usually a body of work truther, but that is all people care about. So why not consider it?
>> You're you're the number one quarterback guy though.
>> I am.
>> He's never been an allp pro. Never ranked top five in MVP voting. led the league in interceptions. [ __ ] No, but he had Oh, man. That's weird. I'm trying to think of a familiar case even outside of sports.
>> And then think of a familiar product. He was in a commercial for it.
>> Kings Hawaiian rolls.
>> Yes.
Yes. He literally did a commercial for them.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. Isn't that crazy?
>> Why is that crazy?
>> I just told you to think of a product and you the first one you thought of was true.
>> Well, I think you asked for an Eli Manning commercial for me. Oh, you were just answering the question.
>> Yeah, >> I told you to take give me a random product. He probably did a commercial for them.
>> Oh, >> I thought you did that. Yeah, actually, right.
>> Uh, uh, All State.
>> Yes. I'm positive.
>> The Mannings love being in commercial. I think they've been in thousands.
>> Yeah. I mean, the the All State or State Farm is always going to happen because they look good in khakis.
>> Payton Manning's on a shack trajectory.
>> He is.
>> The Manning family. Yeah.
>> But I was looking into also in April 1998 498. He's gonna make shoes.
>> Yeah. Pton. He's got the Payton on.
>> Dude, honestly, like Shaq has the gummies of his head. I don't think I could finish one Payton Manning head gummy.
>> That would be the That would be like the size of a >> Easter Island head.
>> Yeah.
>> Uhhuh.
>> Yeah. Like to see Stephven Tyler give Pton Manning's forehead a raspberry.
>> The perfect fit, >> dude. Walking in on Stephen Tyler just sucking Pton Manning's head.
Speaking of sucking on things weird, your boy >> what?
>> You didn't see Playboy Card's iced out lollipop.
>> Oh, I did.
>> What'd he do?
>> He iced out his lollipop.
>> Diamond. Uh, >> he was sucking on it.
>> He was sucking on an iced out lollipop.
>> Just sucking on the iced out lolly.
>> Oh, the lolly itself is iced out.
>> Yes. Yes. It's a It's a diamond.
>> And he was just sucking on it, walking around, >> tearing his mouth up.
>> Yeah, it had to be, right?
>> Looks cool. That's the thing >> like just surround like that's the thing that makes him entertaining is that like at at no point did anyone say like is this really something we should be spending money on and doing.
>> But it's just like it has no way to wear it. You just have to suck on it.
>> No guardrails at all.
>> It was at the BET Awards. At the Bet Awards, >> you're doing two in Colorado so dirty right now called it the Bet Awards.
Bar stool sports, man. Oh my god.
>> Yeah, he was sucking on the on the >> It's It's unbelievably tough.
>> Yeah, it's so funny. But the funny thing is he doesn't see that as funny.
>> You don't think so?
>> No, I don't think he really I honestly don't think he does. I think that he's like this is >> white gold >> rubies, dude.
>> Rubies.
>> The eye sucking on the eye is mad and narrow and and squeezed.
>> The eye is nar like an eye was >> we got to widen up that eye. eye was hide should just be squares.
>> That's what That's what Odysius said in the cave.
>> We got to widen >> this eyes. This guy's eyes mad now.
>> We got to we got to widen that eye.
>> Thin ass eye.
>> Mhm.
>> We should make a push to make eyes thicker.
>> Yeah. I barely saw that.
>> Dude, in lower case L's even thicker.
>> What do you mean?
>> The the the difference needs to be >> extreme. One needs one needs to get thinner, one needs to get thicker.
>> Jesus Christ.
Uh for um >> April 98, >> Pton Manning goes number one. Ryan Leaf goes number two. I looked into Ryan Leaf.
>> Yeah, it's sad.
>> Well, I didn't get to the sad part.
>> It seemed like he uh he's this star player.
>> Yeah, >> he's supposed to go one or two. He's up there with Payton Manning. But like right after his last game, he gained 20 pounds right before the combine.
>> He didn't give a [ __ ] >> Yeah. I think he had a drug issue. Oh, >> I think it would weigh on you just to be the biggest bust. No brainer.
>> Yeah, >> but his rookie year, they said he was a big piece of [ __ ] >> Yeah.
>> Um during his rookie bye-week, he went back to his college town, Pullman, Washington, >> and got banned from two bars and a convenience store.
>> Oh, you have to do a lot to get banned from a convenience store.
>> To get banned from a convenience store, >> that is the last refuge for the wicked and forbidden. That's where people who've been banned go.
>> Yeah. That's where you can go. You're banned from everywhere else. All you can do is go to convenience store.
>> You step into a convenience store and anything goes. That's like the only place left in modern in the modern world where I feel like I might get my ass beat.
>> Oh yeah.
>> I feel like I might get killed >> every single time. It's like a 5050.
>> The people in there, they um they're timeless losers and timeless barbarians. It could be from any decade. It's like time stands still.
They're ageless. Um, people just scream in there. They treat it like a rage room.
>> And there are like bad neighborhoods within the convenience store.
>> If you go to where they sell the dusty funions on the bottom rack, >> that's where you'll find the bad boys.
>> Yeah. You'll turn a corner.
>> Bad boys.
>> Yeah. I'm over by the essentia. I would never dare venture over to the slots.
>> No. No. You're You're by the essential.
I've I've strayed to go to the Sweet Tart ropes and I didn't think I was going to make it back. I had my I had my girl tie a rope around my waist so she could pull me out of there. Dude, >> your spalunk.
>> It was like I went to the the upside down there.
>> Oh yeah, >> dude. You try to go get your sweetheart kazooles. Be careful. Be weary.
>> You go by like if the ATM's in like the back corner. You go down there, >> dude. There's like >> Oh, if you go to the ATM, you need the fellowship of the ring with you. You need Gimly to be swinging an axe for you to go to the ATM.
>> Crazy. Yeah, you'll see a guy in like a Russell athletic shirt or tank top from 1998.
>> The dudes are decked in Russ dude like take the sticker off his new era cap and just start chewing it like gum. It's like, dude, gas station marts and convenience stores are it's almost beautiful.
>> It's It's unbelievable >> what goes on in there >> because I get jealous of how often the cashiers are talking to Imagine family members. They have a very tight bond.
>> So tight that they don't care that their store is just your store is getting ransacked to hell. It's literally it's getting brutally and savagely like people are just beating up your products.
>> I think Yeah, >> people are punching the RC and then >> dude I saw a dude clobbering a bag of uh some [ __ ] chive russ ruffles, >> dude. Just clobbering [ __ ] throwing [ __ ] everywhere, screaming, >> dude. Yeah.
>> And then the cashier is just having like a quiet murmur of a conversation in Hindi like stonefaced. Doesn't give a [ __ ] It's awesome.
>> It's the best place in the world.
>> It It really is. Like it's I love watching a guy just doing scratch offs in the front >> and you know he's not winning and it's d You got to get the [ __ ] out of there, but you want to see more. You want to see him lose.
>> Mhm. The I've never seen the uh here in Chicago they have slot machines in a lot of the convenience stores. I've never seen that. And then I realized also the lottery guys when they come in they need to be addressed immediately. They walk in, they're like, "Where do I deposit?"
>> So, yeah. The point is, >> they don't care about the line.
>> The point of scratching is the thrill and rush of scratching and see if anything matches. Those guys just scratch the barcode, scan it. They don't want to play. That's their job.
>> That's their job.
>> They come in. That's what I'm saying.
They come in like they're working and they're like, I don't care about the line, nothing. I'm I'm going in. Did your uh the gas stations and convenience stores in West Virginia and around at the checkout there was always the tongs that you could grab and grab a [ __ ] floating egg or homemade jerky.
>> Oh, I've never seen that. We had the floating eggs >> and they were so hard to grab. But some of these truckers would go with like the um unbelievable accuracy. Just grab an egg and just put it in their palm and then like >> check out to check out. Wait, is it a a floating hard-boiled egg?
>> Yeah.
Uncle Rob. Uncle Rob would probably take one of those.
>> The trucker.
>> Who's that?
>> Oh, the guy with the voice. Yeah, that and herbo gummy bears.
>> That's disgusting.
>> It's disgusting. It's like 50 cents. I used to buy the hammade jerky, though. I used to tong the jerky.
>> Yeah. I mean, some items are great. Um, >> you lived off 7-Eleven rollers >> when you first moved to New York.
>> Yeah.
>> Like, I remember I moved to New York.
Um, I stayed on your chair. You didn't have a couch. I stayed on your chair for a week.
And we went to 7-Eleven for every dinner.
>> I had to.
>> What?
>> The only thing I could afford was their pizza.
>> Yeah. I remember >> I I was I was a a Manhattan socialite making 60K a year.
>> Yeah.
>> I had to m I had to maintain my status while making just enough to pay rent.
>> Oh, I I the first month there I was I lost 20 pounds. I was not [ __ ] to hope that I could sponge out some more nutrients.
>> Um, >> it was kind of fun.
>> Yeah. I remember at one point I started rationing for frozen burritos. I'd have one every other day.
>> Taking stuff from the office, bringing it home, hoping we'd get an antimin sponsor.
>> Yeah.
>> Praying for Antimmans.
>> Oh, good. It's Fritos night. But I remember going to the convenience stores in New York and you'd go to the section of stuff that's only available in FLLAS and in New York convenience stores and it would be like uh just like cakes, full [ __ ] cakes in plastic wrap.
>> Yeah, >> they hit some sometimes gas station meals just when when you're going on a road trip and you get some handicaps >> and you get some uh exotic jerkys.
>> Yeah. Yeah. You get Yeah. the exotic jerky that's only available there. When we were driving down to our live show in Indianapolis, you got something that stunk out the whole car.
>> I bombed the car, dude. I got >> It was from a fruit cup. You opened it up and you're like, "Oh, >> it was the honeydew that just stuck out the car."
>> I thought you were going to talk about my jalapeno jerky.
>> That was bad. But I got the Doritos, the purple Doritos flavored jerky. And I opened it up and it burnt my tongue like acid. Yeah, >> it was horrible.
>> Yeah, it was like horrible.
>> It was the acid blood from Alien.
>> You can't get chips that are flavored like other chips.
But that's I just said I buy stuff that's shaped like one thing that's flavored like a third thing.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah, you do do that. So Leaf got booted from a convenience store.
>> Yeah. Oh yeah. How the [ __ ] did he do that?
>> That's what I'm saying. Like you cannot get banned. It's one thing to get like, hey, leave and for to get banned from a convenience store like >> hard to do. I've seen hobos butt out.
But when you're Ryan Leaf, if you are the number one pick quarterback from your school and go back that same year, you are the closest thing to Infallible as you can be. And he got banned from unbanable places. So, I can't even imagine what he did.
>> Also, he was the only number one pick from the state of Montana if I'm correct.
>> So, like even >> that makes sense.
>> Bigger than Montana. Yeah.
>> He's born in the wrong era now. He could have just like made $3 million to stay at Washington State.
>> Yeah, >> true.
>> He probably everybody was paid still.
>> I don't know much about Leaf. How bad of a flop was he?
>> Horrible. The like the worst draft, the worst bust ever. Really? Which I think would take a tremendous mental toll on just being known as a mistake even though you had an amazing college career.
>> Yeah. Completely undoes anything good you did. But did he not How long did he last?
>> It wasn't long.
>> Get to the next chapter. I don't know.
Next chapter wiki.
>> Yeah.
>> Did you donate to Wikipedia this year?
>> No, I don't do that. I should if it if I need to. Jesus.
>> They always say they need it. Yeah. I don't remember how long his career was.
Not long at all. Two years on four teams.
No, four years on four teams. Not great.
From Great Falls, Montana. Dude, like I don't They're probably like backup quarterbacks who are getting like direct deposits of $10,000 in college.
>> If I And you're in a college town >> where where drinks are a quarter.
>> What are you going to do to dollar beer night?
>> What do you do with that money?
>> Quarter pitcher night. You just book the chain smokers every weekend.
>> That's all. Yeah, you could fly out the chain smokers every weekend and have them perform in your dorm just at you.
>> Would they do that?
>> I don't know what they would do. You just buy a bunch of like chains and >> Yeah. Right. What would you do? What would you do with if you had a if you had a custom like if you had if you went to like a custom Iceman, if you went to Eleante, right? And he was like, "I'll make you any chain." What would it say?
Or would it be a like a cartoon?
>> Because there's that one rapper, his he his [ __ ] got taken, but they're selling it online. He has like the his chain is the blue Eminem, but he's wearing Gucci, which is a great choice. Tasteful.
>> Great choice.
>> Good Eminem choice as well.
>> L Uzi got a chain that is just Marilyn Manson's face.
>> That's funny.
>> That's good.
>> I'd want the Bick mascot, Bick Boy. My favorite mascot, but instead of the pen that he's holding, I'd want him to have like a [ __ ] gun.
>> I like that.
>> Behind his back.
>> Do they get home after a long night and like take it off like a woman takes off her bra?
>> Yeah. And they have their homeboy scratch where the clasp was.
>> Yeah, >> that's all I think about when I see the big chains.
>> It would have to be a nuisance, right?
>> Oh, you're my neck.
>> Which one's this? That one just says top 10. That's cool. That's cool. Just have to say top.
>> Top 10 is cool. I mean >> could just say top. Top one. Number one.
Yeah. Top 10 is just >> as someone who worked in college athletics, what they spend their money on is all clothes.
>> Yeah. Yeah. I believe I was just >> But also the only clothes they wear are free from the team.
>> Well, a lot of them get like this department Gallery Supreme. Like there was this guy that came in that I filmed for and he just brings clothes to college campuses and sells them to players. He made like 20 grand on one day. He like 10 players come through >> and they just get fitted up.
I like when dudes just get the t-shirt that says the designer brand's name and it's just like a shitty t-shirt.
>> It's like really really thin and it doesn't fit >> green and red.
>> Yeah. But I think we had a phase where we probably would have bought some knockoff of that.
>> Yeah.
>> Well, I mean your belt >> it was a gift >> from you.
>> No, it wasn't. I didn't buy this. I would never pay hundreds of dollars for a belt. It was a great gift.
>> That is an awesome gift.
>> Is it from a loved one?
>> Yes.
>> Fiance?
>> No.
>> Dad?
>> No.
>> Big cat?
>> No.
>> You?
I was trying to think of someone who's like, "Wait, you love that person?"
>> Chief >> Fran got me this.
>> I can't. I got to stop doing that.
>> It's an I'm jealous.
What's the most you've ever spent on a piece of clothing?
>> Me or anybody?
>> Probably like not that much actually.
Probably only like 200 bucks.
>> Mine's 200 bucks for jeans and I felt horrible doing it.
>> I guess probably a suit.
>> Oh, I bought a Japanese flannel for $200.
Yeah, once you do that >> and it looks like any other flannel that I could get for like 16 bucks.
>> Three figures on a top is tough.
>> Yeah. I remember I bought like I went to AM Leon Door New York.
>> Oh yeah.
>> And I had finally had a little bit of money. I was like, "Oh, let's go." And I bought like a pair of shorts for like $85. And if they even got a hint of moisture, you could see my entire cocking balls.
>> Really?
>> Oh, yeah. And then I left them in a city bike. in a city bike >> in the basket.
>> Oh, okay. But then I tracked it down and a lady got them and I I I tracked her down.
>> Nice. That's good. Good investigative work.
>> Yeah.
>> No, every once in a while you deserve a little treat. But just like >> with all these the [ __ ] weddings I can't be I can't get anything from me.
>> It's a shame.
>> Um >> anything else?
>> That's it.
>> God bless. Oh, doing the most got sold so we can really really start >> working on that. We got Lucy on board and thank you to them. Just a peak behind the curtain. It's tough to work on stuff when it's not sold because there's a lot of stuff of like why aren't you guys doing this? Why aren't you doing that? It's our time and a producers's time which is more valuable.
>> A lot of resources needed. Um >> No, little budget needed.
>> Yeah. Yeah. But that should I think they're pushing for it to be out in late June, early July.
>> Release late June. Yeah. Yeah. Expect it early summer.
>> Yeah. All right. God bless.
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