Pre-FNT | The Odyssey REVIEW! It's TERRIBLE!

[00:00:16][music] Let's get READY TO >> RIP A FIGHT.

[00:00:22]>> WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN THAT?

[00:00:24]>> That is one big pilot >> for a modern gaming audience.

[00:00:28]HELP. [screaming] >> WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?

[00:00:31]>> Why would you do that? Why would you do any of that?

[00:00:33]>> We're communists.

[00:00:34]>> Woke. Woke.

[00:00:37]>> Would you please get your politics out of my comic books? I'M LIKE, WHAT COMIC BOOKS ARE YOU READING?

[00:00:46]>> I'M PRAISE GOD.

[00:00:52]>> AH, he Vadered. He vained.

[00:00:54]>> Congratulations. You played [music] yourself. Give me the meat and give it to me all the >> to a modern gaming audience.

[00:01:02]>> If I speak, I'm in in victory.

[00:01:04][screaming] >> In victory.

[00:01:07]>> Welcome to Nerd. [cough] [clears throat] >> Sorry [music] about that. Welcome to Nerd Wars.

[00:01:12]>> Please clap. [applause and cheering] >> We got a packed house. I can't even catch up with them. Freaking packed house tonight. freaking go. You guys are all here to hear about the Odyssey. Is it as bad as we expected?

[00:01:32]Worse. And we like we don't have time to cover just how bad it is. We're going to have to do a lot of that tonight on Badgers. Badger, how you doing?

[00:01:43]>> I I don't have words. I found words, [laughter] >> but yeah. No, I It was so much >> I was wonder for a second you didn't respond.

[00:01:50]>> I thought you couldn't hear me because you watched the Odyssey last night and lost hearing. I know. I certainly did.

[00:01:57]>> No, everything I thought I was going to get, I did not get. It's It's not good.

[00:02:02]>> I was like, "Oh, well, maybe there'll be some epicness, some good shots."

[00:02:06]>> No, the camera. Everyone was like, "Oh, well, technically good." And, "Oh, like the shots." I don't know what the [ __ ] they're talking about. They had a 3,000lb IMAX camera. There was There's no dolly shots or anything like that. No interesting like where they got on like the little wires and stuff like that.

[00:02:21]No, they're all just static shots. You didn't even get like slow zooms and stuff. And the editing on the the conversation like the ash shot b shot is like a shot bshot a shot bot. Like it was giving me nausea. They were cutting back and forth. The editing was so fast and bad.

[00:02:37]>> Very schizophrenic movie. To give you an idea, you could have had every single actor be 100% Greek and I would still have about the same amount of problems with the movie.

[00:02:46]>> It is Nolan that is the issue here. He did not write this good. He did not write this well.

[00:02:53]I talk about my universal scoring system and we go down every category and every sub sub subcategory to get that final score and obviously the casting and the woke stuff does very poorly in there but it also does horrendously bad in almost every other no every category. It does bad in every category is there. We're about to absolutely rip it apart for the things we didn't like. What did you like?

[00:03:18]>> Badger.

[00:03:21]Yeah, Robert Patson. Robert Patson was the only actor in the entire thing I thought gave an actual performance where he was another character except for him that I didn't believe it was him.

[00:03:31]>> Yeah, the guy I'm supposed to not like, the guy that's supposed to be the villain.

[00:03:36]>> And most people were concerned was the daddy language. He was actually the only one who pulled the daddy off. Well, >> everyone else who says mommy and daddy >> when he said it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:03:44]>> Yes. And there is a character who says mother and father.

[00:03:49]Helen of Troy.

[00:03:52]So the ratchet ass [ __ ] is the only one who actually gets to say words like mother and father. Everyone else says mommy and daddy.

[00:04:00]>> I went in there ready.

[00:04:01]>> Gravitas.

[00:04:02]>> I went in there ready for like oh we're overreacting. You know >> we underreact.

[00:04:07]>> All of it. I was going to give it all the grace. No. No. Remember we said the metric was like when do we look at our phone for the first time? 55 minutes in.

[00:04:16]>> Oh.

[00:04:16]>> Oh. Longer than I did.

[00:04:17]>> I wanted to. I wanted to, but I said, "No, I'll be a good boy." And then when I did look, it was an hour and 50. So, I didn't quite make that two hours I was hoping for. [laughter] >> Actively frustrating in some of those scenes. The ones I thought would be great. And then, yeah, we got this. I'm I was dying when I saw this.

[00:04:33]>> I know.

[00:04:34]>> Yeah, I know. It's so good.

[00:04:36]>> Baby shows up. I want to see it. It was funny.

[00:04:39]>> Yeah.

[00:04:40]>> Literally every single thing that Oh, well, maybe there's some stuff I'll enjoy. No, it was actively bad to the point it felt insulting.

[00:04:49]>> Yeah, >> pretentious. I'm not even sure is the word for like Wes Anderson is pretentious. Certainly towards the end, like the last 40 minutes, I detected the pretention and like, oh, is that the message you're trying to get across?

[00:05:03]>> Yeah. If we mean pretentious, yeah, in that way, whereas with like Anderson, I mean like >> artsy centric hipster kind of pretentious where Yeah. But in that sort of way, certainly. cuz the messaging that they have to go through everything so quick. I don't I didn't mind the speed. The speed of the editing sometimes was horrendously bad with the Hop Bot A B H and the complete lack of transitions. Badger editing [clears throat] 101.

[00:05:31]You don't flash bang your audience. the amount of times they go from like the, you know, the the dining hall or whatever in Ithaca where it's dark and the candles and then they hard cut to a bright sky and a bright like cliffside or ocean or something like that.

[00:05:49]>> Mhm.

[00:05:49]>> 10 15 times probably I got flashbanged.

[00:05:53]Imagine it was IMAX >> Irwin. That is to show the dichotomy between the different worlds and Menaaus is in >> [ __ ] you. It's terrible editing.

[00:06:01]>> It's [ __ ] It is. And the sound. Did you notice the sound too? It'd be all epic epic and then it would just end. Like it was the audio was also a hard cut too.

[00:06:09]There is no chance to build any connection to anyone. It is [ __ ] seen scene scene seen scene seen scene. Yeah, Adysius and theas or whatever. Damascus whatever the hell his son's name is.

[00:06:21]>> The [snorts] Malakis.

[00:06:24]>> Those two did get some character development to be fair.

[00:06:27]>> Tom, that's the other thing. probably is the second most likable character, but also it's just [ __ ] Tom Holland.

[00:06:36]>> Yeah, we have a tab here describing um his level of testosterone compared to Ellen Pa's, which to be fair, Ellen Paige is injecting the testosterone.

[00:06:47]Yeah, shout out to Stephan Molyu. Still pretty sure Elliot Page has more testosterone than Tom Holland. Correct.

[00:06:52]because of the the TRT shots I said.

[00:06:54]>> You know, I'm fine with him as Peter Parker and all of that, but as this I they should have cast someone a little bit more.

[00:07:02]>> Yeah.

[00:07:02]>> Well, to be fair, the character, right, is a bit of a [ __ ] Yeah, he kind of point to hide and watch his dad fight kind of character. So, >> but that's the thing in the books, it's him and his dad teaming up. So, in this frustration, >> wait, they team up in the books at the end >> in a lot of the father and son could HAVE THEIR LIKE BACK TO BACK. They [ __ ] twoman the entire room and in this it's just him getting his a Yeah.

[00:07:25]It's just frustrating.

[00:07:26]>> Yeah. Because it's it's the problem of uh you know like in a Batman fight when they're literally surrounded by goons and then they decide to fight you like one at a time when they could all just rush you at once.

[00:07:36]>> Even this the people from the sea you know they're back to back.

[00:07:40]>> Yeah. I know that part that nice little twist and it and we were the people from the sea. That was like the one >> the twist >> that shouldn't have been the twist. He made that the twist. Yeah.

[00:07:50]>> Yeah. because then he drops a oh whoopsy daisies because um I feel guilty for killing basically letting my trune friend die for the cause. Now um the whole bronze age is going to collapse and we're going to go into dark age because I was mean to my friend >> cuz that totally wasn't going to happen before.

[00:08:10]>> Right. Is that that's fair? Right. Like that is the actual message at the end. I contextualize it that because he broke Zeus's law everything's falling apart and then he became Yeah. It's But >> yeah. Well, yeah, there's breaking Zeus's law at the end. We'll get to Zeus's law, but then there's also the he didn't properly bury his men, and that was all represented by Ellen Pa's character.

[00:08:30]>> Yeah.

[00:08:31]>> Where he takes the name of Sinnin at the end.

[00:08:33]>> Not every answer to current problems are found in [ __ ] ancient stories.

[00:08:39]>> Oh, yeah. And we'll get to Yeah. The Zeus's law. Cuz he had talked about it before about cuz he did like the global homo stuff. Oh, why can't we all just be nice to strangers? Uh, we're going to ethnically cleanse white people now.

[00:08:50]Wait. Oh, no. I'd say we could be nice, not ethnically cleanse me.

[00:08:53]>> Yeah. And the problem with this is in the books and others, they all Eugene. Uh, they uh they all died because they keep affronting the gods.

[00:09:04]And this one, they all died because Odysius is a [ __ ] idiot and doesn't know how to do anything tactically. Just kind of meanders about and gets everyone killed.

[00:09:13]>> So, one of the islands they're like, "All right, let's go on. Things are actually looking cool." Cool. That did actually have some cool shots with the foggy forest and stuff and they're all slowly like walking in their armor. I like that. That's what I wanted from the Odyssey. And then they see an adult and they're talking to it and they won't turn around and then it slowly turns around >> and it's like a child adult. So, a child giant. It goes, which is I think one of the times I had to put my fingers in my ear or literal ear rape us. And then it turns around and runs [snorts] before it is even off the screen.

[00:09:48]>> 30 giants in full plate armor were apparently standing [laughter] right there.

[00:09:53]>> They're just hanging around the corner in full [ __ ] plate armor. So it's like we finally get a cool moment and then it's just like carnage while they just get BTFOed and it's so even the moments where you the little bit of coolness and a little bit of oh this is what I wanted and then just ruined and we just wait till we get to the Cyclops. It's so bad and the diversity and literally every single thing. All right. So we talked about the audio is horrendously bad.

[00:10:24]Little ear rape. We'll get to it more.

[00:10:25]The visuals are horrendously bad.

[00:10:27]There's nothing interesting happening with the camera. It's so dark. The color grading Badger and we'll get to you super chatter. I appreciate we're getting to you.

[00:10:36]It was so bad on the color grading. As someone who has overcolor graded things before my nerd war documentary, I I take it from like 70% color grade to like 25% color grading on the final version because I did too much color grading.

[00:10:49]It's just how it works. And when you're editing it, you see the color grading and then the final version, it does not usually look the same as when you're editing it.

[00:10:57]>> Well, let's >> Okay. So, so way way way way way too dark. That itself is a problem. But then when you add the color grade on it, [sighs and gasps] so many when you add color to the dark parts because you I can add like color to the darks like the mids and the lights. Usually, if I want to make something match the colors, I just take the shadows and move it a smidge because it does a lot if you change the start changing the color of the darks in an area. I'm not trying to make a racial joke, I swear. So, there were parts where they left it on the full color grade of green, but it was super dark.

[00:11:33]So, the bottom half of the screen that should have been dark was like glowing green. Did you notice that?

[00:11:40]I I did not have the issues with that that you did, but I don't see those things as much as you do.

[00:11:45]>> Yes. Oh, it's one of those things as an editor. You do a bit of color grading, you'll go, "Oh, whoever edited this is an absolute hack."

[00:11:55]>> Correct. The editing, the audio, transitions, the color grading, and everyone's like, "Oh, well, it's technically good."

[00:12:02]>> All of the technical aspects are dog [ __ ] The lighting, like what else is there that's technical? All of it is [ __ ] terrible. And part of it is because they had the enormous IMAX camera.

[00:12:13]I didn't even see an IMAX. And we'll get to when if you do watch an IMAX, you see way more of the movie. So maybe the people who think it would look beautiful, maybe they actually got to see the full movie instead of us pled only get to watch like 60% of the movie.

[00:12:28]That's pretty terrible idea. Get keeping your audience from seeing the actual movie there. Nolan, you [ __ ] hack.

[00:12:33]What were we saying, Badger?

[00:12:36]Uh, we'll get into a little bit of um correction real quick because >> I'm gonna have to say this on Monday.

[00:12:43]>> I love Chris Gore, but they did a bit of an oopsie.

[00:12:46]>> Uh, the quote that everyone has been going around saying that Cinnon is called the greatest warrior ever, greatest soldier ever. That line's not in the [ __ ] movie.

[00:12:58]At the end, what he says is he's the bravest man I've ever known. Now, that's laughable in and of itself, but there's this real specific reason he says that, and it's basically not true, and everyone knows it in the movie.

[00:13:11]>> Yeah. Essentially, they leave Simon with the Trojan Warhorse thing that they're leaving to die. They're trying to sell it, and they literally just put him out or it out to die.

[00:13:27]And spoiler aly small kid that was never supposed to go, the Robert Patson character switches their [ __ ] But because honor is so important that uh to Odysius, he doesn't have the heart to call him out in front of his dad. So he lies to the Robert Patson's dad character just saying, "Uh, I'm going to need him to stay behind so we can watch all of our families or whatever." And he takes the [ __ ] runt, which is the Elliot Page character who was immediately killed in the very beginning. It's literally the meme from [ __ ] >> literally just gets hits with spears and dies.

[00:14:01]>> Oh. Uh, hey guys, the God of War guy.

[00:14:02]Uh, if you didn't like him, good news.

[00:14:04]He's no longer it because he injured himself. Whoopsie [ __ ] Daisy. Too bad we're getting Pedro Pascal. All right.

[00:14:09]Now, too.

[00:14:13]>> Yes. That's something I also didn't realize. There were some white boys and one of them was him. And now he's probably not going to be act able to act for a while. [laughter] [ __ ] >> By the way, spoiler. If it was working, they wouldn't have fired him. They knew it wasn't working. This is their chance.

[00:14:27]>> Oh, yes. Whereas like on uh what Highlander or whatever, Henry gets hurt and it's like, "Oh, we can we can wait."

[00:14:36]>> No. Elliot had nothing to [ __ ] do with Achilles. That is a false equivalency. And I there's no even way to >> make a path toward that that argument.

[00:14:44]>> A bajillion things to complain about with that character. Some of people got it wrong and we realized, wait, actually, no, it's probably not Achilles. It's probably something else.

[00:14:51]The second we realized, oh, it's Sinnin.

[00:14:52]We everyone said Sinnin. But then the people who don't actually really look into this stuff, the engagement baiters and stuff, they just kind of kept with the Achilles. Same with the Helen of Troy stuff, it gets more clicks. Most of us who actually care about the stuff, we knew we knew what we were getting. But yeah, a lot of the engagement Vaders kept going with the Achilles and Helen stuff. And that's the thing is it's so much worse than that. We don't even need that. So, let's stop let's stop pushing that stuff and let's get to what's actually happening, which is >> I was in a full I was in a full theater and like I even in my special seat and [ __ ] that no one ever someone was sitting next to me. So, yeah, there was a lot of people.

[00:15:30]So, mine was full except for some dots on the app.

[00:15:37]So the four seats, five seats to my right, which were the first row primo seats to watch the movie, no one ever showed up for them. And then I looked and there was considerably less people than what the app said there should have been. Not saying they were doing funny business, but a lot of because even if it's real, that means a lot. Like the people next to me, that would have been like $80 spent where people said, "Nah, I'm good."

[00:16:08]And I don't think they got refunded or else the seats would probably opened up.

[00:16:11]So the music every single >> If Han Zimmer had actually scored this movie, I it would get like an extra point. But uh yeah, it's just a lot of >> It's not music.

[00:16:20]>> Percussion.

[00:16:21]>> Yeah. It's not music. That's Yeah.

[00:16:24]>> Dongs and [ __ ] And by the time it does, it's just loud >> rumble >> at a special.

[00:16:29]So yeah. Okay. So yeah, the visuals absolute dog [ __ ] The sound actually painful. One of these subwoofers in my the premium one they it's flubs and they refused to fix it. And it really does it whenever they do the rumble style of bass.

[00:16:46]The music was more rumbling than it was music.

[00:16:50]And it's like, oh, we want an intense scene, so just throw all the SOUND AT IT AT ONCE QUICK.

[00:16:57]It genuinely hurt. And then yet there's times where you're like, "What the what?

[00:17:02]Could you speak up there, Penelps?

[00:17:06]Dog [ __ ] on every single level. Even without the woke stuff. The woke stuff is just that dog turd cherry on top."

[00:17:13]All right, we have to get to our wonderful super chatters. [laughter] >> I'm telling you guys, there's so much to complain about. I hope they go like 30 minutes. They start 30 minutes late. I have so much to say about this dark [ __ ] But also night >> mildly annoyed anus gerbble for 20.

[00:17:28]>> Love it.

[00:17:29]>> The amount of [ __ ] I've been through will blow your mind.

[00:17:32]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:17:34]>> It's beautiful. I dropped another one here for a second, too. And then Zebru for two. Hender work. Be cool nerds.

[00:17:39]Grou violence. Oh, yeah. I actually got him because like I definitely need this cuz I'm going to want to hit something.

[00:17:46]Well, and if I want to hit something, I need something to hit. So, I did grab him. Uh, Badger, could you take this uh while I set up our grou for him?

[00:17:54]>> Yeah. Uh, mildly annoyed anus gerbble for 10. Did Nolan winning everything last year make him a bad filmmaker? I there is definitely I think at this point safe to say he doesn't have anyone telling him what >> that >> we're at that part of his career.

[00:18:10]>> And I assume he's got like a real woke wife or something too. You combine those two.

[00:18:13]>> I always got a little bit of a classy gay guy uh vibes from him personally, but Yeah.

[00:18:21]>> When you have actors again, Robert Patson, the only one that asked to read the [ __ ] script, >> my respect for him grows by leaps and bounds.

[00:18:29]>> Yeah. And if we get to the Zinda Zen Athena as his clip, oh my god, I love him soing much.

[00:18:36]>> Yeah. No, he's at the part where I think some people just want to work for him.

[00:18:39]Yeah. Some people tried to do a clap at the end, but it was only like more people clapped at He-Man. Let's put it that way.

[00:18:46]>> Yeah. zero attempts at clapping. I I booed a little bit and no one was doing any sort of excitement talk. I heard someone I heard people seemingly to be complaining about like how long it was or something along those lines. And then Mildly annoyed an Gerbal still mildly annoyed for five. Wes Anderson is gay and I don't like his movies. He's another one that I mean Royal I I get people not liking it. Yeah. But for those who do like his style, he did have some really good ones. Obviously, uh, Royal Tin Bombs, Rushmore, Life Aquatics always goated. Uh, what the moon whatever my jig with the the Boy Scouts was good. What was that called? The something the moon something.

[00:19:25]>> The moonrise.

[00:19:26]>> Moon Moonrise Kingdom.

[00:19:28]>> Yeah. Hey, that's a [ __ ] weird name.

[00:19:29]I'm allowed to be [ __ ] on that.

[00:19:32]And shout out to Cebu at work.

[00:19:33]Appreciate you.

[00:19:36]>> Get back in your cage.

[00:19:40]All right. And honestly, that fight you just saw more exciting than the Cyclops segment.

[00:19:44]>> Tony, I got bad news for you. The guy he killed in the That's not Minus.

[00:19:49]Minus is the other guy that's Agamemnon's brother that fights Paris till the end of the movie and lives.

[00:19:57]>> Yeah, >> you've been mad all this time about a completely separate character. Go watch Troy again, buddy. That's that wasn't meas.

[00:20:03]>> All right, and then I believe we've got some more. Aaron dropping a member message. Getting close to that two years. Did you guys see the trailer for the uprising before the Odyssey? I'm liking the lack of diversity. Oh, that's the one we showed >> yesterday, I believe. That's the one with uh Andrew Garfield overthrowing the king, I believe.

[00:20:19]>> And it was all white people somehow.

[00:20:22]>> So, yeah, >> we are intrigued. Shout out Aaron and then Graph Webb for two for [ __ ] sake.

[00:20:26]Hashtag cancel Disney.

[00:20:29]>> Cancel Disney Plus. Sorry. Our minds forgot for a second.

[00:20:34]>> Our minds are elsewhere. I've had a lot of trauma this week and this one is right up there with it. I [clears throat] >> Yeah, it's not good.

[00:20:41]>> So Jeremy John's was like, "Oh, the movie was so good. I kept thinking about it. This movie is so bad. I keep thinking about it."

[00:20:51][snorts] And also, shout out to the super. I think we all need cheered up a little bit. I'm stealing a magnum clip.

[00:20:56]We all need a little happiness here now.

[00:20:59]>> Welcome home.

[00:21:02]Come here. Ah, and if we get a little more super chats in, there's more happiness for everyone.

[00:21:09]Badger, do you have something?

[00:21:10]>> Yeah. Uh, I was just going to say to Tony. Yeah. Uh, that's uh Boa Grius that [ __ ] Brad Pitt kills in the very beginning of Troy. Menaaus is the Brandon or the Brendan Gleason character that like again fights. So, so go watch it again, buddy. You don't have to be upset. You just misunderstood. It's all good.

[00:21:28]>> So, shout out. Yeah. Rob Lego Patriot dropping a happy poops for jewels. Uh, Andrew dropped some gold coin for jewels. I've been seeing them. They don't really show up other than like corner of my eye where I'm like trying to like swat the jewels away. Yeah, I think there was some others that dropped too. Yeah, Scooby Pup dropped some sunshine. If I missed any others, shut up. Appreciate you guys.

[00:21:49]>> Look, and I don't want to I love Eugene, right? If he liked it, he liked it. I'm not even trying to suggest Nadia also liked it. Do do with that information what you will. Uh, I just didn't get it, bro. I just did not like any of the performances.

[00:22:04]>> Okay. Well, let's yeah, discuss this because Jeremy John thought John Legos was almost like stole the show.

[00:22:11]>> Pardon me. He was basic as [ __ ] His character story sucked. His line delivery was >> He's just the most consistent character because remember when we read that review and it said that it was temporally complex? Yeah. That means it's all over the [ __ ] place compared to some of his movies. I thought it was fine. I always knew where I was.

[00:22:30]>> Three or four different timelines.

[00:22:32]>> Yeah. Yeah. I >> going back and forth.

[00:22:36]>> So, I knew where I was at all times, but it was very, like I said, with the editing as well. If say in between the time periods, they gave us a nice little transition phase or something that would, I think, help those who might have some issues. Also help with the and the hard cuts and Oh my god, like the technical level. It was so bad. Yes.

[00:22:55]because they they they told the story quick. There's some points where he's like, "All right, now let's go do this."

[00:23:00]I'm like, "Well, bros, you literally just like land at the you're already, all right, let's go." Which honestly, with it being this long, I didn't mind the fast pace. It helps with the three hours, but there was ways to do the fast pace and then there's a bot, a bot, a bot.

[00:23:16]Come on, bro. Like, there's ways to to have the the brisk pace without making everyone want to throw up and then flashbanging them. Yeah.

[00:23:25]>> All right, let's get Odyssey earned 17.6 million domestic previews.

[00:23:32]That is actually really solid.

[00:23:34]This though is going to be as front-loaded as a major Marvel movie.

[00:23:39]And the word of mouth so far, you look at Rotten Tomatoes like we will here and you know, word of mouth sounds like it's doing great. Actually, here let's do a refresh. I mean, this word of mouth I the audience is loving it, Badger.

[00:23:53]Unless you click on all audiences and then suddenly it drops a lot for some weird reason.

[00:23:58]Um I I have not heard very much good word of mouth. We're hearing it's like the occasional person who seems to be really enjoying it. Most people seem to be hating it like us.

[00:24:09]>> Ending Travis Scott. I don't know cuz as soon as it credits him I [ __ ] left.

[00:24:14]>> That's very common. We actually have several people mentioning that. Me too.

[00:24:17]And when I was walking out I almost went to stay to hear it and it's >> Thankfully it wasn't very wrappy.

[00:24:21][clears throat] I don't know what it was. It is going around on EX though right now if you see.

[00:24:25]>> But like to give you an idea, the movie starts with Travis Scott telling the poem, the song of Troy in uh the Odysius's like hall, right? While Penley Penelope is like, [clears throat] what do you call it? Uh letting the suitors eat and all that and Yeah. And the D.

[00:24:44]>> Yes. So I I thought maybe get some clapping in. No. Okay. So I've been I've been practicing. And I wanted to get this right for you guys. I need something to give me something to hit.

[00:24:53]Yeah. Hold on one moment. So it's not just like weird spoken word poetry [ __ ] I half the words he said I didn't understand what words he was saying really.

[00:25:05]>> A woman.

[00:25:07]>> Zipper tits. It's that type of [ __ ] >> Yeah.

[00:25:10]>> Yeah.

[00:25:10]>> And then he goes a man. And then you wait like three extra seconds more than you should.

[00:25:17]>> YEAH. A WOMAN. AND THEN YOU wait an extra like threeing seconds for some reason. And then all of a sudden [ __ ] and you wait like an extra three seconds for some reason.

[00:25:28]>> Yeah.

[00:25:31]>> WAS DOG [ __ ] I WAS I laughed so hard throughout that and then it cuts to Ellen Paige. I >> I felt [laughter] bad for the people sitting next to me cuz they were not allowed any immersion cuz I and lost it.

[00:25:46]And right in the very beginning they didn't give you time. I immediately was busting out laughing. And then this actually has a good example of what I was talking about. So this is the very beginning. So here we go. The dark, the fire light, and then bam.

[00:26:01]This right here, this is what I mean by flashbangs, right? They do this [ __ ] constantly. If I was in IMAX, I'd be [ __ ] blind.

[00:26:11]A reminder that Troy opens with Brad Pitt and a [ __ ] threesome and then that opening battle where he fights the dude. And this one is Travis Scott doing spoken word poem and then it's Elliot Paige. [laughter] >> I It's >> I'm sorry, dude. There's not There's not one thing I thought, well, at least I'll get cool flashbacks to Troy. That [ __ ] sucked. Couldn't see anything. When you did, it shot in such a way that it might as well not be anything. I thought, okay, cool. Cyclops. They built an animatronic, which I don't know what the [ __ ] the point of that one was.

[00:26:46]>> Wait, what part? delay even more. I don't know. They made it seem like the entire thing was animatronic.

[00:26:52]>> He wanted to like make myths like normal and more realistic, which he didn't [ __ ] do it. There was like monster [ __ ] tentacle monsters and [ __ ] Realistic.

[00:27:00]>> The crack in the Yeah. The Cyclops literally looks like the the sery witch just went like this on his face. He >> he looked like Down syndrome Cyclops.

[00:27:11]So, the biggest problem in the entire movie is I don't think Nolan understands what the [ __ ] these epics are. And when you try to take something that is fantastical with gods and monsters and make it grounded, gritty, and realistic, but still have [ __ ] monsters and gods try to explain it away while still showing it, you end up getting nothing from either world. either make it [ __ ] grounded, gritty, and realistic and say that we misunderstood everything like Assassin's Creed, you know, all that [ __ ] exists and it just ends up being like genetic experiments from the EU and things like that. It's fine. Or make it [ __ ] fantastical with gods.

[00:27:46]But when you do both, you end up getting nothing.

[00:27:50]>> Sorry, we need a more realistic Athena, but also tinnacle monster is better.

[00:27:55]>> Yeah, but also it's really just Matt Damon hallucinating it the entire time.

[00:27:59]>> Air quotes. All right, I got one more tab on the Travis Scott. So, he also he begins it and ends it. As we said, we didn't get get to hear this song. If you want to hear how terrible it is, Discrew has it on his ex foul. It sounds like someone strangling a cat. To be fair, it doesn't sound like someone strangling a cat, but there's not a good way to describe what it sounds like. It's It's not music. Like we said, it's not music. It's >> And the book is [ __ ] Cersei, by the way.

[00:28:27]>> None of that in this one. which >> so some of that stuff was cool the transforming but like sometimes she can kind of go like this and you're transform but then sometimes she like really needs your lungs really needs to get into it [laughter] >> thought it was going to be another I mean it is a metaphor clearly uh for how women view men when they get all drunk up and [ __ ] but it >> oh man so [ __ ] >> well yeah they got I mean she's kind of right but they did kind of go along with the feminism and points of where like oh all these soldiers appeared what am I to do you know I like I gotta protect myself. And it's like, yeah, sure. But do you have to feed them to everyone else, too?

[00:29:03]>> So, they changed a lot.

[00:29:06]>> They changed a lot. I mean, did you understand that he was [ __ ] Calypso, too?

[00:29:14]>> So, you mean instead of him collecting wood? They could have been He could have been giving her his wood.

[00:29:21]>> So [ __ ] [ __ ] All right. Here, let's get to >> chest just built up. There's like that's what I'm saying, guys. We're halfway through, dude. We're I'm not gonna even get a quarter of my complaints out.

[00:29:31][ __ ] >> Shout out to the 200 of you.

[00:29:34]>> Oh, I didn't even see that shout out.

[00:29:36]Appreciate you Stein 69. Nice member for Tree AMC near me. Most theaters are not full but close. Wondering if most is from pre-sale from December when we didn't know much about it. Week two is the test. Well, week three is the real test cuz that's when it has to compete against Brand New Day in its third week and it's probably going to get its >> butthole blasted. the first couple weekends going to be the people that were hardcore that couldn't get to see it on IMAX and so are trying to go. So, they're going to go no matter what one.

[00:30:01]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:30:02]>> Yeah. As we said, it's three-hour long showings. Even if you got a bunch of people going back, it's still not a ton of showings. Like I said, mine was supposed to be full and there's a lot of people just didn't seem to show up for whatever for some reason. Maybe.

[00:30:18]>> Yeah. Speaking of racism, I text to uh Irwin. My favorite part is when the Indian and the black man.

[00:30:26]>> Yeah, this bit.

[00:30:27]>> Yeah. Oh, they had I laughed so hard.

[00:30:29]>> I laughed out [ __ ] loud.

[00:30:31]>> Maybe you've heard of our victory at Troy. Yeah. So, they're they're burning a village down. The Indian guy who is the number two for Odysius and one of the main characters. He's the one who basically >> Yeah. He's the one who basically does a like a coup on him. and he is with the black Greek who is the translator.

[00:30:53]Maybe he's, you know, foreigner or whatever. And then say, "Oh, we thought you were the people from the sea."

[00:31:00][gasps] No, we're the Greeks from Ithaca, says the Indian man about him and the black man.

[00:31:10]We are >> Greeks from Ithaca. the Elliot and Lupita casting that's like kind of it doesn't you know it's all of the casting is like that his entire [ __ ] Greek crew is a mixture of black people Asian people brown people and then some generic whites >> okay yeah so there the backgrounds are generic whites in total there's way more white people but all the non-white people they put in the front row >> all the people speaking lines are black Asian or Indian uh same thing goes with the suitor over there uh at Ithaca Yeah, our Pat's the main one. He gives the best performance. Everyone else is [ __ ] black or brown.

[00:31:49]>> There's really only two. Yeah, there's really only two. And the other one alongside with them, he's the the dog kicker. Black and then I'm like, "Oh, okay. So, this is what you usually get."

[00:31:59]So, you got strong white man, which dude, them guns, I will say. Oh, there's something I did like. Matt Damon's veiny biceps. Wait, did I say that wrong?

[00:32:10]Yeah, >> he did get pretty [ __ ] jacked, dude.

[00:32:13]To be fair, I did like that bit. So, he's got his Indian here and then I'm like, well, at least this guy was white.

[00:32:19]But then when I was going through the IMDb, I realized that man's actually Jimmy Gonzalez.

[00:32:24]>> Yeah.

[00:32:24]>> The son of Texas uh migrant farmers.

[00:32:29]He's actually one of Badger's white passing Latinos. [laughter] >> So, the white guys aren't even white.

[00:32:36]We'll get to John Bernthal. Turns out he's not white. And like that's that's in the books.

[00:32:42]>> And we got the we got the Asian man.

[00:32:45]>> I All right. So yeah, we will we will get to I'm kind of having to go all over the place, so forgive me. And then I like how mildly annoyed you are anus gerbal for five. The odyssey is like herpes. It just doesn't go away. Oh, I will be thinking about this for a while.

[00:33:01]I think correct. [laughter] And then hi [clears throat] sup salty. [laughter] And then Nurse Lab. Remember one? I was sure they would turn me into a pig just so I can forget this movie. Yeah, those were the lucky ones. And then I thought, "Oh, good. We don't have to see them anymore." Oh, and then she turns him back.

[00:33:20]>> Yeah.

[00:33:22]>> I literally just found myself rooting for minorities to die.

[00:33:27]The black guy gets black guy gets taken out by the uh the Cyclops, I believe. Uh and then that's that's like the start of the Oh, no. I can't leave my people.

[00:33:36]Wait, let's talk about the Cyclops because they leave the whole nobody like he tells him his name's nobody pun out.

[00:33:42]So he's like nobody and stuff.

[00:33:45]>> There's none of that. It makes no [ __ ] sense.

[00:33:48]>> It It does. Yeah. The Cyclops has the worst yell ever and it literally hurts you and I had to cover my ears. And then he apparently was chanting like Poseidon. So that's the only way he talks. And then they run out and then Odysius turns around and apparently in the book cuz he's all like narcissist.

[00:34:04]He wants people to remember him and the legends. He He doesn't want nobody to get the credit. So, he goes, "I'm Odysius." And then that's like because he randomly, for no reason, they've won.

[00:34:15]They've gotten out. And for no reason, he turns around and just goes and shoots shoots the Cyclops who then ends up killing two boats worth of men. And it's for no reason whatsoing ever. But in the in the actual book, it's because, you know, he's being cocky and wants to be legend. doesn't want. But since Nolan says he couldn't write the nobody pun in, you just miss all that. So Matt Damon just goes and then gets two boatloads of his men killed for no [ __ ] reason.

[00:34:39]>> No communication whatsoever between the two. And it's explained, well, would you talk to an ant?

[00:34:46]And it's I was Yeah, exactly. Which no, he literally can and speak. Like I that's so And he like it's like does he even see that? Does he know? I'm like I thought they blinded him. Is he already blind? Oh, that was another one. He so he comes in, walks, lays down, goes to sleep in front of them.

[00:35:03]>> The second his head lays down, Matt Damon goes, "He's asleep. Let's get him." [laughter] >> [ __ ] second it happens.

[00:35:11]>> Yeah. So, they like they they're starving. They they see a sheep. They're going to kill the sheep. And a Adysius is like, "No, no, hold on. Sheeps are flock animals. Let's follow them." They follow it into a cave. They find cheese and and skins, which happens. And >> they get the cheese. He managed to write the cheese in. Thank God.

[00:35:28]>> We're going to [ __ ] start eating and we'll wait for the owner to return. And when all the sheep come back in, it's followed by the Cyclops. But they don't say anything and the Cyclops doesn't say anything. He just eats two of them and goes to sleep in front of them.

[00:35:41][laughter] >> And then his the second his head goes down, he's like, "All right, guys. Let's surround him and attack them." Wait, no, we can't cuz then we can't get out.

[00:35:49][snorts] And then, well, the classic is, well, they got the rope. They got a bunch of like hay or something. All right, guys.

[00:35:57]They're going to tie themselves to the bottom of the sheep. And then the cyclops is going to feel them and be like, "Nah, it's cool." They don't tie themselves to the bottom of sheets. They tie a little bit of hay to their back.

[00:36:08]And the hay is supposed to be like sheep fur. That wouldn't work whatsoing ever.

[00:36:15]But thank god the cyclops is basically dead. And he doesn't even check him. His hand kind of just sits there. And then so they get out and it's the easiest thing ever. It's like, "Oh, well that was unbelievably easy. How about I just shoot him for no reason? [laughter] Okie dokie. And I thought that was like in the middle of the story that Cyclops happens like immediately. So it's like oh well hey we get some cool stuff.

[00:36:38]>> No >> Cyclops happens before the Trojan [ __ ] horse. [laughter] >> Yeah.

[00:36:44]>> That sort of stuff was I thought shitty with the the weird storytelling, but I I I understood where it was going, but some of the choices of what order to put things in was stupid.

[00:36:52]>> I hate the [ __ ] media for this. uh including the cast talking about it. I kept seeing this thing about Matt Damon talking about how John Barrenthal he set the tone because they talked about filming inside of the uh filming inside of the Trojan horse and that it was half submerged in water and it's essentially like uh you start shaking, you have to do everything. My brothers in Christ, John has maybe five seconds of dialogue that you couldn't even you can't even really tell it's him in the [ __ ] horse at the time shaking.

[00:37:25]>> What are we doing?

[00:37:25]>> Wait, he was in the horse with them?

[00:37:27]>> Yeah, that the dude like this that doesn't say anything. That's supposed to be John Barrenthal's Menaaus.

[00:37:34]>> The one that Matt made this big [ __ ] scene about how he sets the tone.

[00:37:38]>> Uh oh. Hey, shout out X-wing for the raid when one bit I like from that when the dude has to get like the wreath to breathe through. That's like that was pretty intense.

[00:37:47]>> That was cool. Yeah, >> but yeah, them all crammed in. And then anyone wants to try to tell me the pyramids were built by rolling blocks on top of logs? [ __ ] you. No, they were not.

[00:38:01]>> They dragged that horse for so long.

[00:38:04][laughter] >> Why?

[00:38:07]>> Why? And then, oh, we need to see every time. Oh, inside. Oh, it's so intense, guys.

[00:38:12]>> No, it's not, Chris.

[00:38:13]>> It's not [snorts] so weird what he chose to show realistic explanations and tactics for and then just did whatever with the other things.

[00:38:23]>> But guys, uh, Adysius has PTSD because when they pillaged and raped, uh, Troy, um, innocent people died. So now he feels bad for what he did.

[00:38:39]>> Uh spoiler, that's where Zenaia is from.

[00:38:45]>> Wait. Okay. See, I didn't quite get that.

[00:38:48]>> Well, see, I wasn't sure what he meant by that. Did they kill a little priest and that she looked like that and that's how they see it? Or cuz they they show her but then they cut to the statue. So, I didn't know if she represented the statue or if he was saying >> they killed a girl and then he kept seeing Athena as that girl cuz that would be good. I assume that's not what I think. I assume that's what they were saying. He keeps seeing Zenaia and she's not there. He's the only one that sees her. And when they flash back to Troy, you see that they build a a priestess.

[00:39:14]Yes. That that is Zenaia's female human character. And so that's not what he meant.

[00:39:19]>> Form Athena has been appearing to him in.

[00:39:22]>> Yeah, that would be good. That would that would be the correct choice.

[00:39:25]>> Yeah, >> he made all the wrong choices. So, I'm assuming that's actually not what he was going for.

[00:39:30]>> Do you think that's fair to say? Cuz that would have been the right thing to do. So I doubt that's what he actually cuz for a second I was like oh that's good and then I went >> oh wait no he probably just meant the repres with the because the statue head got chopped off at the same time too that is what they were going for seeing Athena as the woman that he saw killed in >> Yeah cuz that would be good but that's what I'm saying is it's so go go go go go go >> that you don't even they have a good moment you could have a good character moment but they just right past >> you should always see it for yourself.

[00:40:01]Look, Eugene said he liked it. Other people seem they like it. Yeah, but I mean it's three [ __ ] hours and I paid 20 bucks for it. I wish I'd >> I'd rather watch anything else, but that's just me.

[00:40:10]>> Oh, yeah. I got rid of it. Would you rather rewatch this or Gladiator 2? Cuz I unironically Gladiator 2. And not just because of time. [sighs] >> You can actually see Gladiator 2.

[00:40:22]>> So the fight scene when when they fill up the arena and they have the boat battle, that was better than any of the fight scenes or battles in in this. And it was kind of it was pretty ridiculous.

[00:40:32]It's Denzel Washington, dude. Denzel Washington playing Denzel Washington was better than any of the diversity casting. At least he had like some gravitas and like character and style about him. I mean, it was Denzel Washington, so it didn't fit in. But compare that to like Helen, he was he's considerably better.

[00:40:50]>> You're supposed to like Odysius and want him to return home and care about it and see his and I just didn't give a [ __ ] >> Correct. He lit I I mean I kind of did but then he shoots the Cyclops for no reason and gets like all of his men killed and I'm like oh you guys are idiots. Yeah, I'm with the Cyclops. You guys literally broke into the Cyclopses home. I hope the siding kills you.

[00:41:09]>> I'm literally just comparing this Shawn Bean Odysius and Troy as far as likability.

[00:41:18]>> I Troy Sey's a 12 out of 10 compared to this [laughter] movie.

[00:41:24]>> Oh, it's it's a masterpiece at this point.

[00:41:27]in every [ __ ] way.

[00:41:29]>> Yes. Okay, let's see. Uh, the DMCA has been going crazy on X. Universal does not want you to see this. Even in Hercules getting hit. All right, let's see. All right, some random reviews. So, yeah, the Emperor is wearing no clothes.

[00:41:42]Last few moments, good. Matt Damon, good. My mom was so excited to see it and kept saying it has 95% of Rotten Tomatoes about 45 minutes and she said it's about as bad a movie could be.

[00:41:53]Yep.

[00:41:55]even hold the candle to the Armand Sante 1997 miniseries.

[00:41:59]>> I want to watch >> where they actually talk to the [ __ ] Cyclops and fool it and trick it and get it to fall asleep before doing Yeah.

[00:42:05]>> The the modern dialogue [ __ ] terrible. And I realized it's because he can't write the oldtimey language. He's not talented enough to. He can't write the modern language either. And then I looked at his writing credits. He's written some of his best movies. So, I don't know what happened here. Uh let's see. Shut out Jen Morgan. The Odyssey is a dull, boring slog that will appeal to the people who enjoy technology filmm.

[00:42:29]Except even that stuff is [ __ ] but don't prioritize literally everything else. It was difficult to get through.

[00:42:34]Correct. My near empty theater practically ran out to escaped it.

[00:42:38]Escape it. Several people left early and then Dr. Rachel also says that uh uh several people left early. No one clapped. No one talked as they left.

[00:42:47]Yeah, I booed. No one clapped. I booed.

[00:42:50]And then some people kind of had some like disgruntled murmurss. No one even smiled. Yeah, the people walking out. It was It was dead.

[00:42:57]>> Did you uh by chance get Kadas?

[00:43:01]>> No.

[00:43:02]>> Okay, I got it.

[00:43:03]>> Are you whipping it up? Okay.

[00:43:04]>> Yeah, I'll find it.

[00:43:05]>> And then uh we'll do Yeah. Comics Division. Well, the Odyssey is yet another modern destruction or deconstruction rather of the classic.

[00:43:11]Nolan can [ __ ] right off. Beautifully shot though. Guys, anyone you hear saying that, >> don't believe him. It's It's not beautifully shot, sadly.

[00:43:22]>> Yeah.

[00:43:23]>> I wish I wish it was.

[00:43:26]>> Oh, >> yeah. Here. I clicked. You click. No, me. Click. [snorts] All right.

[00:43:30]>> Uh, I just got done watching it and it's exactly what you think. A Nolan film trying to do a modern version of the Odis of the Odyssey.

[00:43:36]>> We don't have We don't have time for that.

[00:43:38]>> I'll ignore that. Uh, >> acting across the board is meh. Besides Robert Patson, a few good scenes. This is the part. Unfortunately, the modernness is what makes this film drag down. I'm not feeling like I'm watching the Odyssey more, but so watching a bunch of Americans do what they think the Odyssey is. The random races of people, the outfits, the accents, the dialogue, all of it takes you from the film and boils it down to just another Nolan film. Plus, he didn't do himself any favors. Yeah. Putting in Elliot, but like all the modernity and casting and that did not help.

[00:44:09]>> Yeah. See, that's what I'm saying is is people want to say like seven out of the 10 of the things are really bad, but these few things are really good. Guys, I'm telling you, I don't know what they watch, but it's it's not great shots.

[00:44:22]It's not good technical stuff. It's bad.

[00:44:25]The music.

[00:44:28]What? What [ __ ] music? There isn't music.

[00:44:33][sighs] And then uh if you didn't see an IMAX, you're literally not watching the movie.

[00:44:39]this whole thing. IMAX. This is what we saw. So maybe there's some beautiful shots when you get sawd screen. So I probably saw a little bit more hairline.

[00:44:49]>> Yeah. Yeah. Mine's supposed to be the premium. So yeah, I might have seen a little bit more.

[00:44:54]>> Man, that's and that's a terrible idea.

[00:44:57]Maybe you guys should stop doing that.

[00:44:58]Lauren Chin, she actually had a really good review. Uh yeah, what casting is far from my biggest issue with the movie. Correct. Yeah. Opens with Trev Scott as a bart is so bad and immediately goes to Elliot Page. So, in the opening, there are more genders and races on screen than minutes in the movie. Uh, let's see.

[00:45:13]>> She said oriental. Uh, that's >> Yeah, I know. Yeah. Yeah. You get the oriental and all that stuff. And yeah, it is. [clears throat] She had a really good review, but we do not have enough time. Christian Toto from Hollywood and Toto getting a lot of angry comments for liking the Odyssey. Good. You should >> idiot, bro.

[00:45:30]>> Do they have a point? Let me know.

[00:45:31]That's actually a really good way to handle it. Good job, Christian. All right, let's see.

[00:45:36]Shad, you guys wouldn't ever expect it.

[00:45:38]He hated it so much that he went full uh Trump and started going full all caps [laughter] at certain parts.

[00:45:44]>> Has a point though because even in the end >> when he's shooting the bow, I was like that's not how you [ __ ] it. What are you doing?

[00:45:50]>> Yeah. Yeah. I got a bow whose draw strength you need to shoot that [ __ ] thing and he's like barely. Yeah.

[00:45:57]>> Oh yeah. And then he points out a whole big part is how to is you have to string the bow. And according to him, they don't even string it correctly. And so that's what I was wondering if is this like the correct way to shoot bows. So essentially he just takes it. Oh wait, I got to put it through the middle bit. He just takes it and then kind of from the hip goes and that's kind of how he shoots his bows. He hip fires them all and he pulls them back like hold on. Maybe I can get it to leave the the the bow.

[00:46:27]Yeah, that's basically how he shoots his bow every time. And he's like supposed to be like the greatest bowsman. And then I thought the shooting through the axis was something difficult.

[00:46:37]>> [snorts] >> It's like It's like that big at least for him to shoot through and it's like five sets of those.

[00:46:43]>> Yeah.

[00:46:46][laughter] >> So, even like we could have some cool bowmanships and, you know, little Lego.

[00:46:52]>> Nope.

[00:46:53]In the uh in the return with Ray Fines, uh he does this like fancy leg leg lock thing for leverage to do it, you know, like you can actually see there's a trick to stringing it.

[00:47:04]>> They don't even attempt that.

[00:47:05]>> Oh, well, no. Yeah, he he he does do this sit down, put the leg over that thing. Yeah, [snorts] he genuinely Yeah.

[00:47:11]Plus, he's got Yeah. like quick uh quick pull or quick draw or something perk, too. Cuz it's literally just And then Yeah. The infight scene, he's just going like this while everyone's like, "No, don't shoot me." And then like a couple of people are like, "Maybe we won't just stand here and get killed while one guy in the center of the room has to continue reloading a bow and has no." And then a dude runs up and is like in the armory upstairs and then breaks a Oh, I just I hit myself in the balls a little and then breaks breaks the floor and then is just randomly dropping weapons in throughout the fight. Weapons are just falling in from the sky >> so that way his son can have his own little fight so he can be a man. And then he drops his dad this the final sword to win at the end.

[00:47:58]Now when he strings it and he goes >> and he's all like I I want the you know the deer to know I'm here so that way it's a sport but I like that but then well I mean I like the you know I like cuz I feel like hunting is a little cheap when you go 5 in the morning you put cow or you cow you put >> sorry deer piss all over you and you got like the highest technology and all that. That's a little unfair. But the the way the instead of getting this and it being interesting like that, it's um hunting is killing but with stealth.

[00:48:33]>> It's like, bro, we're starving.

[00:48:35]>> Why'd you [ __ ] face so many problems and so little time? We got like 15 minutes left to go.

[00:48:44]Yeah. [gasps] All right, keep on moving. Keep on moving. Uh yeah, as we said, literally Dr. Clown, Ph.D. genuinely called it.

[00:48:54]This is literally what happens immediately.

[00:48:57]It's so funny. I laugh so loud. I I had to have ruined the moment for the entire theater. [ __ ] them. They deserve it for liking that. Zinda, I also laugh several times at her cuz they always make fun of uh her look right here though.

[00:49:14]>> That is the look she gives most of the movie.

[00:49:17]>> So her whole thing is she just randomly pops up. like he'll look to the side and she'll be sitting there looking at him and there's like three or yeah probably three times or so where she just pops up and she just does the Zenia face to him [laughter] and I laughed every [ __ ] time.

[00:49:32]>> Troy and the 1997 Odyssey are both on YouTube so I think they knew what they were doing.

[00:49:39]>> And then I'm throwing you the Robert Patson thing in because we got to check that out. And they're all asking, "Oh, Zenaia, doesn't she play a goddess so easily?" Right. Tom Holland, you're married to her. Right. We're going to compliment her. Right. And then they get to Robert Patson and he's an absolute gig of Chad. I love him so much. He's he's quickly getting added to the list with Ryan Gosling. I might need to I might have to finally watch Twilight. I get it now.

[00:50:06]>> Yeah. Um there we go.

[00:50:09]>> Perfect.

[00:50:10]>> Sound good.

[00:50:11]>> Is a goddess. What about her do you think made her the perfect Athena?

[00:50:16]>> Oh, the perfect Athena. She's divine.

[00:50:19]>> Divine and powerful.

[00:50:20]>> Yeah.

[00:50:22]>> What? Divine and powerful.

[00:50:24]>> Powerful.

[00:50:25]>> Look at that. What about her being divine?

[00:50:28]>> Yeah. Yeah. It makes the face. Yes. And then it gets better. It gets better.

[00:50:32]>> Oh, wait. Did you not >> divine powerful? She really like holds the screen. She's pretty strong like that.

[00:50:39]>> No.

[00:50:40]>> Yeah. And uh [laughter] >> And then he just laughs. And then he just laughs. He just he doesn't have an answer cuz he disagrees and then he just turns his charm on tin and does one of his hilarious laughs.

[00:50:53]>> I feel like he might have said something but it would have been a spoiler and so he realized that he couldn't continue talking. But either way it's not >> Yeah, dude.

[00:51:03]>> Yeah, she's so strong. She holds the screen. And then we had the horrible uh rap video from yesterday and then someone point out they're turning into the same lesbian.

[00:51:15]Um, yeah, [laughter] I think they might.

[00:51:19]>> The effects are not great by today's standards, but Armand Sante is a fantastic Odysius who captures like the actual hubris and all of that [ __ ] but also a man that just wants to get home where I just didn't get any of that from Matt Damon.

[00:51:36]>> Matt Damon, >> genuinely K-pop demon hunters just wanting to sit on the couch.

[00:51:43]Like I believed that more and that was more compelling than the entire trying to get home in the Odyssey.

[00:51:50]>> And there was some uh Indian protester where some people got shot or something [laughter] and everyone realized and she went on a hunger strike and everyone realized uh bro >> um um same >> Zinda drop off going to be wild.

[00:52:09]>> Oh my god. Yes. Okay, throwing this your way. We got to move quick. We got John Bernthal, the cuck, uh, praising Leiden Yango as Helen of Troy. So, we haven't even gotten to the worst part about her.

[00:52:23]Okay. Yeah, we're getting to it in a second. So, John Bernthal, I'm like, well, he'll be good at least, right?

[00:52:28]Like, we at least got one white guy being a white guy. And then today, I learned that John Bernthal is Jewish and so therefore not actually a white guy.

[00:52:37]So, even our white guys aren't even actually white guys.

[00:52:40]>> All right. [laughter] And so he's the one who they teamed up obviously with Helen of Troy and we're about to get into that. It's uh it was really bad. It was really really really bad. Thankfully pretty short.

[00:52:52]>> You learn though >> from working with Lupita. If I can ask you John >> for me there's no one else in the world who could have done that who comes with a level of beauty both inside and out that you believe somebody would. But beyond that, this just such rich interior life that to me us sitting there, it's like this palpability of anger, of shame, of regret, of love, of, you know, all this stuff that's probably been spoken and unspoken. You know, you could kind of just feel it between us while we were doing that. And what a awkward, insane, twisted, >> you know, family they they they are now.

[00:53:32]and really unhealthy probably from sort of the beginning. I love what you just said, you know, just about the economy of it to try to convey that all within.

[00:53:41]>> We don't have time. I don't know what nonsense he's spewing about. So, he goes full like angry New Jersey accent. He just plays himself with the way he speaks. It's not good. I'm sorry. I'm not sure I like John Bernthal. I'm not sure. I I personally think he's a good actor. His stock is lowering in my [ __ ] esteem. Yeah. When he beats stuff up, I like him. But when words come out of his mouth, I don't like it as much.

[00:54:06]>> Understand that Helen of Troy is literally in the film about maybe 30 or 40 seconds. She's at a certain point, Telmachus goes to visit Menaaus because he's heard everyone's come back except his dad. So, he sneaks out to go get word and she sits there like an angry black woman. We can talk to Chris Nolan later why he thought she would be so perfect for this angry woman role. She sits there looking stankface >> and then the few like couple sentences she said >> is basically lecturing Tom Holland >> and then >> she basically yeah she she whispers in his ear and complains about the patriarchy but you forgot the one part about how turns out she is disfigured.

[00:54:47]So, in uh Ireland, I believe it is.

[00:54:49]Yeah, in Dublin, they just put up these >> scars on her face, >> these insane third worlder statues as they try to ethnically cleanse us. This like scarring and these breaking stuff right here. That's what it doesn't even like look like a scar. It looks like she's like magically falling apart, like she's cursed or something. [snorts] >> So, in the beginning, they also talk about sacrifices and how so Agamemnon sacrificed one of his children so they would have good weather to get to Troy and he just randomly has a little black girl. I was like, why the what? I laughed. I laughed when I saw him walking with the little black heart.

[00:55:19]>> You find out that the entirely madeup >> sorry >> twin sister of Helen of Troy played by Lupita is married to Agamimnon and then immediately [ __ ] kills him when he gets back home.

[00:55:32]>> Oh, spoiler alert, Badger. We're getting to all the hilarious memes. I know.

[00:55:38]>> I [laughter] meant more. We not spoiler.

[00:55:40]We're about to get to it. Yes, cuz uh yeah, we'll get to his aura. So chat, um, we're getting towards the end of the show.

[00:55:48]We have new Sydney Sweeney picks or we have Lupita Nyongo.

[00:55:53]>> Oh, >> you guys decide which ones you have to see. All right, moving back to this.

[00:55:59]Keep on going. Let's see. Skip this bit.

[00:56:01]Okay, so the guy who played Agamemnon, apparently Chris Nolan asked him, "What kind of shape are you in?" I was like, "I'm in a shape." He said, "Well, you might need to fix that." You couldn't see any of this.

[00:56:12]>> He's in Darth Vader. He's literally in Darth Vader [ __ ] armor.

[00:56:16]>> Yeah. He said he trained for the role and focused heavily on his physical movements while filming, noting audience would mostly see his eyes. That's all they see. And he doesn't emote at all.

[00:56:25]He literally just gives like two bro hugs. This though, this moment, even though he is kind of [ __ ] does have some aura.

[00:56:34]And then that aura is absolutely 100% destroyed by that monstrosity.

[00:56:42]What?

[00:56:44]So, all you really get to see of her is it cut, like I said, cuz it's like [laughter] it just cuts to her and she goes she literally screams like an animal.

[00:56:59]>> It literally looked like the Republican guards in [ __ ] court. Yeah.

[00:57:04]>> The sen the Senate guards. Um, >> yes. So that was another one where I got ear raped by her when she just yells and then they they do the stab. You don't even get to like see him either. So made sure he worked out so they could show like his bald spot and then like it's over it. Um it deserves 100% of the meme.

[00:57:26]Spoiler alert. Helen Troy chimps the [ __ ] out.

[00:57:30]Genuinely it's not racist to say she chimped out. She literally makes like a animal noises as she stabs them.

[00:57:40][clears throat] So, the face that launch a thousand ships. The ships. Uh, let's see. Excuse me, ma'am. Can you please use your earbuds to listen to? And then you get stabbed. Um, yeah. Helen Detroit.

[00:57:53]>> Cool. Me.

[00:57:54]>> This one is pretty perfect. Yes.

[00:57:57]Genuinely goes full body cam footage on his ass. Um, yes.

[00:58:02]>> [laughter] >> talking about. Oh, look how much more you can see in 70 millimeter IMAX, guys.

[00:58:06]Oh, I missed out.

[00:58:09]Let's see. Felon of Troy. I hadn't heard Felon of Troy yet. So freaking good. Um, man, we always charge 50 cents for extra barbecue sauce. This is going to be This has already been a meme template. People they they were doing DMCA takedowns on memes like this.

[00:58:25]>> So yeah, this is a meme template now. Do no them bros just like wait until they see streams so they can [ __ ] air drop in and say dumb [ __ ] We got three of them in the chat. I just we never Yeah, the guy that >> We love our haters but we love our supporters more. Magnum for five. John Brenthol is a national treasure. I haven't seen him anything where he was able to act. Do not let this extra extra dark woman convince you otherwise. Yeah, but I'm telling dude his acting was awful in this. I watched you guys all love him as Punisher. I watched that Punisher spin-off thing. His combat was fun when he wasn't going go on. That was all good. That was all good. But then when he's on his left to his own accord.

[00:59:07]>> Yeah.

[00:59:08][laughter] Yeah. All right. Yes. Please. Please guys keep air dropping cuz I mean we're we're getting this territory. We're heading >> that I can keep half her stuff.

[00:59:18][laughter] All right. Don't worry. Your little brother's going to be loved.

[00:59:21]>> Shockwave for five. Ellen of KFC. Yes, the memes have been lovely. Yeah, I had seen that one. Chelle, I'd seen Helen of Detroit. That was my favorite, but Felon of Troy is my new favorite. It's so good.

[00:59:34]>> It's insane.

[00:59:35]>> And then Zeus's Law. We talked about it a bit. They wouldn't shut the [ __ ] up about Zeus's law. Zeus's law ate my homework. And they never even really explain it other than like we have to be nice. We have to feed homeless people because Zeus's law.

[00:59:49]>> Is it not? Cuz do unto others just because it might be a god you want to cover your bases. That's literally the level of Nolan's writing is uh the golden rule like be nice to people but then Zeus's law all of the suitors take over. They don't appreciate it. They abuse it all and then he kills them all which they were asking for completely 1,000% going against Zeus's law which was one of the few actual like long like arcs that they did was Zeus law this Zeus law that. And then they end up saying, "Actually, you know what? [ __ ] Sus's law. I'm killing her body, but it's fine because now my son is the king and I'm going to go be in exile."

[01:00:31]Because >> he was in for a penny, in for a pound.

[01:00:34]He'd already broken it. It's I think the way he justified it.

[01:00:39]>> I know.

[01:00:40]>> Yeah.

[01:00:42]>> It's Yeah. But then they so for so much more than just that. This ends up being the message of the whole movie that because they broke Zeus's law at Troy, it's their fault that the Bronze Age is ending >> cuz they gave a gift to Athena and they used it to kill people and also he he he lied to the [ __ ] and the [ __ ] died and I laughed a bunch at it.

[01:01:08]>> Yeah, >> but it's but it's grounded and greedy and realistic. But we can also just sail to a [ __ ] island and that's Haiti.

[01:01:16]Yes. Oh yeah. Okay. Let's talk about So we had we saw this interview with a woke Indian dude and he basically did all the glommo homo. Oh, we have to let infinite immigrants and nonsense. And the reason he did bring that up is cuz they try to do the can't we all be nice? Isn't that Hamesh Patel guy so great? Oops. All someone stole your debit card. It's so weird.

[01:01:39]>> Yeah, this is a fair point. There's no Achilles in it whatsoever. and the the soldier they talk to in the land of the but yeah it is the son character and yeah the whole connection to uh Robert Patson and Tenius or whatever.

[01:01:55]Yeah, it was tenuous about. So, we have to keep it gritty, grounded, and realistic. But also, you can raise zombies up, but we need it realistic.

[01:02:04]So, as long as they drink some sacrifice sheep blood, then they can speak. Boom.

[01:02:10]Gritty, grounded, realistic. Suck it.

[01:02:12]>> So, also, tentacle monsters. Oh, don't go in the whirlpool. We're definitely not going to show you the cool CGI monster in the whirlpool. God forbid we do that to show you the actual danger. So, I'm assuming that was supposed to be the kraken or egg type of kraken that had the like >> it's the I think that's like a big mouth one similar to uh your your Sarlac pits >> and but >> yeah, I think it's I think yeah, it's Kraken E, but then that's like mouth kraken, but then they go through the other bit and you get tentacle like Kraken.

[01:02:44]>> Yeah, that's the one I meant. The tentacle one. That's the one I meant that comes out of the like the Yeah, >> but I thought the whirlpool was created by a big monster like sucking the stuff in in [clears throat] the book. I thought >> they made that practical too >> right.

[01:03:01]>> Yeah, >> it was the hydra.

[01:03:04]>> [ __ ] a.

[01:03:05]>> Yeah.

[01:03:05]>> Yeah, dude. It's I wish he had just gone >> that, bro.

[01:03:09]>> I wish he had just gone fantastical.

[01:03:13]There's no need to make this [ __ ] grounded, gritty, and realistic.

[01:03:17]>> But then the production budget would have been like $300 million. [laughter] >> That's so bad. You [ __ ] deserve it, Chris Nolan. You deserve it.

[01:03:25]>> Hey guys, what did we tell you? There's there's Snider Bros and there's Gun Gooners. But Nolan Bros, it's a whole [ __ ] another level, dude.

[01:03:34]>> Prestige sucks.

[01:03:35]>> Whole new level. Yeah. [laughter] >> All right, we'll keep we'll keep going.

[01:03:38]Badger, you got any streams tonight where we'll continue complaining about how bad? We should all be there and uh I'm sure I can't wait to see Whitney at and Dies and all of them think of this.

[01:03:49]>> #myah Helen. Yeah. Kraken adjacent >> Nolan Knobers.

[01:03:54]>> Nolaners. That's great. [laughter] >> Yeah.

[01:03:57]>> Yeah. Let's look at some of the other bits of the cast we haven't had a chance to complain about yet. All right. Yeah.

[01:04:02]Uh Palibus. Yes. Polyis. Palibus. Um, this is the black man who is the other suitor along with Robert Patson.

[01:04:10]>> Oh, yeah. The guy they tried to replace Kefir Southerntherland with in a 24 reboot.

[01:04:14]>> Oh, is that it? Nice. And then, uh, yeah, you got a bunch of people I don't care about.

[01:04:20]Uh, oh, another Goldberg. Yeah, John Legosamos. Mia Goth. We haven't talked about Mia Goth. She's basically not in it. She's terrible. And she's not attractive. Do people think she's attractive? Well, she's not attractive when you shave off her [ __ ] eyebrows, don't have any makeup on her, and yeah, she plays one of the servants to Penelopey that's working with Inennius.

[01:04:37]But >> yeah, I that was didn't need that.

[01:04:40]Rinhurst, turns out God of War was in it. Whoopsies. Uh, let's see. Hamesh Patel. Oh my god, it was even worse than I expected. Charlie Cerrone, what' you think of her as Calypso?

[01:04:50]>> She was fine. She's probably the next best actual acting role next to Robert.

[01:04:55]>> Yeah. And then yeah, there's a little bit of depth and complexity to that, but apparently far less depth and complexity than the book presumably. So, whoopsy daisies. Uh, let's see. Yeah. Will Yeah.

[01:05:08]Will you as we talk there is oriental representation if you enjoy altered carbon?

[01:05:13]>> They are starting. They're on time.

[01:05:14]They're ready to go.

[01:05:16]>> Kung fu. All right. Good. I think that was most of my complaints about the rest of the cast. Yeah, that was enough.

[01:05:23]Badger, where can people find us tonight?

[01:05:25]>> Badgered in tonight. All you Snider [ __ ] aren't or uh excuse me, Nolan [ __ ] aren't allowed. Snider [ __ ] are always allowed. Uh yeah, it's gonna be great. Can't wait.

[01:05:34]>> Very interested to see what the Paul is going to say.

[01:05:38]>> I'm looking forward to it.

[01:05:41]So, this is what I wanted to show before we go. So, white dudes in all the background and then I believe this is God of War dude. No, wait, that was mentor. This is other white dude. I think white guys, white guys. But then as we said, stick the Asian dude and the Indian dude front and center every single time. It really did take us out of it.

[01:06:01]>> That man just that felt like cuz the the left love rubbing our faces in this stuff. That felt really rubbing in our faces and I made sure the audience knew how I felt about it. H remember when we had actual cinema that was >> Reminder, Troy is free right now on YouTube.

[01:06:21]and based. All right. I might No, I have too much to watch. No, >> bro. I don't I It's low. It's like a four or five. It's somewhere in there.

[01:06:30]>> Yeah, that's difficult.

[01:06:32]>> Yeah.

[01:06:33]>> And I'm still sussing out.

[01:06:35]>> Five. Uh, better or worse than Disclosure Day?

[01:06:42]>> Right. Cuz that's like around where I'm trying to score it.

[01:06:44]>> That's the thing. It's so [ __ ] long.

[01:06:48]I [laughter] I don't know, man. Do you want to be stomped on the [screaming] nuts or hitting the nut? You know, it's they're both kind of different forms of horrible.

[01:06:58]All right, chat. If you like boobs, join us for some anime man gaming stream tomorrow, 1:30 Eastern. And join us tonight for some badger to hear us complain more about the Odyssey. And no matter how much we complain about it, we still won't have gotten all of our complaints out [laughter] so bad.

[01:07:14]>> Appreciate you all. Couldn't do this without you. and we will see you later to complain about the odyssey.

[01:07:20]>> So long and thanks for all the fish.

[01:07:23]>> Oh, the camera's on. The camera's been on the whole time, huh? I don't even know.

[01:07:29]>> Hello.

[01:07:30]>> Screw you guys. I'm going home.

[01:07:33]>> Good. Then get the hell out of my life.

[01:07:35]WHO NEEDS YOU? BEAT IT. LEAVE ME ALONE.

[01:07:37]>> I NEEDED TO GET RID OF THE human garbage, otherwise known as my best friends.

[01:07:44]>> Come on.

[01:07:48]Bonnie, how do you keep getting back in?

[01:07:50]>> Well, bye.

[01:07:54]>> If we're not backed by dawn, call the president.

[01:07:59]>> Shout out to Magnum. Can't disagree. Saw her on the red carpet all dressed up with actual hair and stuff. Four out of 10 at best. See you all later.

[01:08:09]>> Welcome home.