😈Leaving toxic spaces with internalized survival strategies. Wanting new pattern? Shifts made within

Added: 2026-05-23

[00:00:00]Hello. Welcome to my channel, Wing Spiritual Clarity. My name's Windy Wing.

[00:00:06]I'm doing a psychic tarot reading for you.

[00:00:10]Tuning in to the day's energy, seeing what divine messages of guidance come through. This is a general reading, so take what resonates and leave the rest.

[00:00:27]I am loving this new dog tarot deck.

[00:00:32]It's um yeah, it's bringing a lot of giggles and starting with this. It's dog tarot and the devil card is the cat. That's just That's hilarious.

[00:00:48]All right, but in this reading, it's the devil reversed. So, the overall energy of this reading is about detaching from drain what's draining you, what's exhausting you, what's taking away uh your energy.

[00:01:06]What's not supportive for you. All right.

[00:01:11]>> [clears throat] >> Why is the devil reversed the overall energy? What do the people who are here need to know?

[00:01:22]All right.

[00:01:24]Chariot. Ooh, moving on.

[00:01:28]Knight of Wands, world building. Knight of Cups in reverse.

[00:01:33]All right.

[00:01:35]This does feel like you're um Also, this image of the chariot, he we're seeing his back, like he's moving on, leaving an environment, leaving a toxic situation.

[00:01:53]It's been my experience when I've spent a long time in toxic environments. One, I got a lot of toxic adaptive skills that helped me stay in that environment.

[00:02:12]That might have helped me survive being in a toxic environment, but when you come out of that environment, they're survival skills, not for the environment.

[00:02:26]There was a lot of um de-programming, healing my nervous system, and and recognizing that some beliefs, some strategies that I was using helped me survive toxic environments, double, draining, exhausting, confusing, but once I left, there were some healing, some some shifts that needed to be made.

[00:02:57]All right, it looks like you're making moves.

[00:03:01]I'm hearing from the chariot like squealing tires.

[00:03:07]Really wanting to leave this behind you, this chapter, this way of being. I like that the I like the Knight of Wands upright. That's a world builder. That's someone who takes action.

[00:03:22]Doesn't know if the action is going to lead to success, but is adaptable, flexible.

[00:03:30]The Knight of Wands comes across a a river, needs to get across it.

[00:03:36]So, he builds a bridge. The bridge collapses, he adjusts, he adapts, he builds a boat, and then gets across that bridge.

[00:03:45]It's a lot of action with the chariot and Knight of Wands, it feels necessary um like change to leave. Tell me about the Knight of Cups in reverse. All right. Empress reverse.

[00:04:06]Uh So, the flavor of the toxic environment that I'm tuning into, the texture of it, the flavor looks like it's around feminine energy, maybe a mother wound.

[00:04:27]No nurturing, no caring.

[00:04:31]Neglect.

[00:04:35]I'm getting a big head on neglect.

[00:04:38]Um also, with the Knight of Cups in reverse, it feels like you might be exploring in this environment, a toxic environment, you might have been exploring a mother wound.

[00:04:57]Self-neglect, neglecting yourself, not requiring any care or attention, giving all of that away to others. There's also this element of fantasy, delusions, projecting onto people, situations, environments, um an illusion.

[00:05:21]Projecting onto them a fantasy.

[00:05:25]That actually is an adaptive strategy that children have from environments where they are unloved and uncared for in a way that's supportive to them.

[00:05:40]As children, we are dependent on our parents for our survival.

[00:05:48]And so, if one or more of you the parents, the mother, is not nurturing, not caring about the child, then as a protective measure, they project a fantasy because their survival depends on the care and love of that mother. And so, instead of being five, seven, nine, however young child, instead of perceiving the abuse, the neglect, the lack of care, whatever existed, they project on, "You're my friend. This is what love is.

[00:06:36]And And you care about me, and um And so, that projection, that fantasy, limerence, imagining, um might have been a way to survive uh a difficult childhood. But it then has you projecting idealized fantasies onto people and relationships and situations instead of seeing them as they are.

[00:07:12]All right, let's move on to hidden blessings.

[00:07:18]The Emperor.

[00:07:20]Oh my god, that is hilarious. Of course, the Emperor's a little white uh dog.

[00:07:33]Um a little Napoleon here, not going to lie. Little dogs have a big bark often to compensate for their stature, their size.

[00:07:48]All right. Emperor, in hidden blessings, it feels like there's leadership.

[00:07:54]And um for you to step into leadership.

[00:08:01]Leading yourself.

[00:08:10]Out of this environment.

[00:08:13]Jumping on your chariot and world-building, leaving. It feels like it does take some fire, some leadership to trust yourself, to lead yourself.

[00:08:28]A lot of trust in your abilities to leave this environment.

[00:08:36]To trust that you're capable of um what comes next. Five of Cups.

[00:08:45]And healing along the way, it feels rough. It feels disappointing.

[00:08:50]Whatever you're leaving behind, um seems like there's regrets.

[00:09:00]Disappointment.

[00:09:03]I'm getting like it wasn't supposed to be this way.

[00:09:07]Um type of energy.

[00:09:12]What else? Thank you.

[00:09:14]These are hidden blessings. Tower reversed.

[00:09:19]Temperance and Nine of Pentacles reversed.

[00:09:27]Okay. It looks like you were um Got it. Okay, so you might have left a real place that has toxicity, an environment, a relationship.

[00:09:46]Feels like you've left that space, but you might have internalized some of the toxic survival adaptive strategies, but they don't work. They're survival strategies, and so they don't work in the real world once you leave that environment.

[00:10:08]And what I'm seeing here is it looks like you've got a little bit of a fix-it tower reversed.

[00:10:16]Um, trying to keep a false reality alive.

[00:10:20]That also for me might tie into projections. You projecting an idealized feel-good fantasy onto a situation.

[00:10:38]Trying to It feels like you were chronically trying to keep everything status quo, bringing everyone and everything into the environment. A fix-it.

[00:10:50]Maybe your job as a child was to stabilize very dis- stabilized parents, dysregulated, where there was no stability, and so this reeks of parentification here.

[00:11:10]And I'm not coming after parents.

[00:11:13]This is um self-healing.

[00:11:17]If you recognize this, and then it's not about blame, but it's about your own internalized issues that once you leave a system, there's still all those strategies, all those programs, all that ways of being that don't fit um that don't work when you leave the environment. And it looks like you've got the leadership skills, which is a hidden blessing, an ability to lead yourself through this.

[00:11:55]And it looks like there's a need for you to You don't have to do anything. As I'm saying a need, you need to do You don't have to do anything.

[00:12:05]If you are looking for healing, and why am I still either repeating cycles, left the environment, but then recreating some similar relationships, environments, then it it feels like you might have internalized.

[00:12:27]This might be codependency.

[00:12:30]A need to fix.

[00:12:32]Needing to be needed.

[00:12:35]Maybe you confused from your childhood love with being needed. If you're needed, then you could get your care.

[00:12:45]Then they won't discard you. They'll give you affection, care, a place, uh a belong It's not belonging. It's fitting in.

[00:12:59]All right. Let's move on to what you're leaving behind, the Hierophant.

[00:13:06]Um Leaving behind a more traditional way.

[00:13:12]This This is um This feels like I'm talking to somebody who there's a family patterning here that you're not interested in repeating.

[00:13:33]The healing your mother wound, healing from um neglect.

[00:13:40]Confused about what care and love really looks like in action instead of fantasy of what it feels like.

[00:13:57]It's not There's something here about love, belongingness, community not being performative, not being that you need to fix everyone to belong. That's feels like that might be um might unintentionally like a a program running in your space where you feel like you need to fix every everyone, balance everyone.

[00:14:32]Want to be needed instead of belonging.

[00:14:38]And so it looks like you are leaving behind a very set pattern.

[00:14:46]Feels like you've got the bravery. Oh, and the You've got the internal aspects the to make this happen, to change things from the inside feminine energy queen uh energy.

[00:15:09]Shifting your beliefs, shifting how you show up, shifting uh new ways of living, really.

[00:15:19]This very different patterning. It looks like you've got the resources to do this.

[00:15:25]I This feels like you're resourceful.

[00:15:29]If anybody could do this, you can do this.

[00:15:34]It It's like you've got this vision in your crown chakra of of what you would prefer.

[00:15:41]And um It feels like you're scrappy.

[00:15:46]Resilient.

[00:15:48]You have resources and you figure things out in the 3D.

[00:15:55]Yeah, if anybody can do it, you can do it.

[00:15:58]Figuring it out.

[00:16:00]Um and then also feels like clearing those beliefs, whatever you might have internalized while being chronically in a toxic environment. All right, how to get the most of this energy.

[00:16:20]We've got the four of wands.

[00:16:23]What's that? A little black German Shepherd?

[00:16:29]It's hilarious. Okay.

[00:16:31]Um four of wands. Celebration.

[00:16:40]Um crossing a finish line, happiness.

[00:16:47]A lot of times this is the marriage card.

[00:16:51]So, it feels like we're talking about a pathway, leaving an environment.

[00:16:58]Healing from the internal ways you were operating to survive, adaptive strategies, beliefs that might have kept you surviving and alive in a toxic, draining environment, but once you leave all those internal beliefs and stuff it need to change as well, right?

[00:17:25]If you want success in a different environment without all those strategies. This feels like you're charging towards a victory.

[00:17:37]Why is the four of wands here? What does the viewer need to know about the four of wands?

[00:17:49]These cards coming out as a challenge. Queen of Wands reversed.

[00:17:57]Knight of Swords and two of Swords reversed.

[00:18:06]Happiness.

[00:18:09]Um The Queen of Wands in reverse is insecurity, jealousy, someone who uh is too frightened to make their own moves.

[00:18:21]Insecure, jealous, uses their attraction, their sexuality to get what they want.

[00:18:30]Ooh, another queen. All right, this is about inner inner works. This is inner discernment.

[00:18:41]All right, if what I'm getting out of this is how to get the most of this energy. It feels like how to move on to a finish line to your happiness.

[00:18:55]I feel like I'm talking to somebody who's had this story and wants happiness. You want your happily ever after. You want joy and even though you might have left the toxic environment, the toxic relationship, you still are in it in some way. And it's And with the Queen of Swords and the Queen of Wands both in reverse, >> [clears throat and cough] >> solar plexus chakra, wand energy, your own personal power, and inner discernment, your upper three chakras, communication, beliefs, how you see things, see your world, see yourself. And so, those have to change.

[00:19:46]Not just time goes by and change happens. Because if you go back on the same story, the same vibration, it's like um how do you know if you haven't released it, if you haven't let it go?

[00:20:04]You know it because every time that topic's brought up, then you're right back in like it's happening still. That's how I've I'm like, "Wow, I feel like I'm still in that environment inside me. I'm I'm still upset. I might be able to have other energies go somewhere, but whenever this um subject matter or something very similarly in vibration, then I'm not over it. I'm in it. Nothing has changed.

[00:20:41]I have Nothing has moved in the belief system to allow change, to allow some kind of movement in your belief system. So, what I'm seeing here is someone who really wants to be happy, really wants to have a joyful life after um a toxic environment.

[00:21:07]But those internal programs, beliefs are keeping you from the happiness that you want.

[00:21:17]All right.

[00:21:20]It does look like there's No, it's a challenge to get a new perspective. It's a challenge to have instead of seeing things as black and white, right or wrong, is there a third place way of perceiving things.

[00:21:37]When um I've left toxic relationships, environments, toxic systems that are draining and exhausting, the when I'm inside that system, relationship, and ready to leave, boy, am I mad.

[00:21:56]P.O.'d.

[00:21:58]That anger is good if you use that anger, that fire to take action to move, to move yourself, to leave that environment, then that anger I don't like that person. I That's wrong. That's wrong. That anger at first is healthy anger.

[00:22:26]Healthy to say, I don't choose this anymore for myself.

[00:22:32]And using the energy from that anger to make the changes, take the actions you need to take to remove yourself from those environments.

[00:22:43]And so for a while that you bad. Uh, don't like that is helping you distinguish what you don't choose any longer and is helpful, healthy even.

[00:23:01]But at some point, if you've left the environment and it's years later and you're wanting happiness and but you're still carrying around that inside of you, what I found at some point that anger's not helping. It's just keeps redefining a situation that I'm already out of.

[00:23:30]I've already left. There's no contact.

[00:23:33]There's no I'm done with it in the 3D, but I'm carrying around the resentment, the hate, the frustration, the disappointment, the >> [laughter] >> all that.

[00:23:47]And [snorts] so, at some point, if you want to heal, if you want to move on, then changing your internal belief systems, processing through your emotions.

[00:24:02]And allowing different perspectives.

[00:24:08]As I've been on my healing journey, um leaving environments where I'm like, "Can't stand. Bad."

[00:24:18]Couple years down the line, there's no interaction.

[00:24:24]There's but I'm still viewing things the same way. I see that as I don't want that. I don't want to carry that anger and that hate with me. I want happiness, too.

[00:24:38]And so, the change has got to come from the inside, right? So, clearing those limiting beliefs.

[00:24:48]Clearing away anything that says that you're powerless.

[00:24:55]And allowing new perspectives to come in.

[00:25:01]All right, moving on.

[00:25:03]What's supporting you is Temperance in reverse. That's interesting. Temperance also shows up right above it.

[00:25:12]Uh in regards to hidden blessings.

[00:25:16]All right, why is imbalance a blessing um supporting the viewer?

[00:25:21]Four of Pentacles, Two of Cups reversed, Page of Pentacles, Page of Swords reversed. Pages.

[00:25:33]Okay.

[00:25:34]Um Boy, this feels so specific. This feels like a breakup with the Two of Cups in reverse um betw- a toxic maybe relationship.

[00:25:50]This even looks like um it with the [clears throat] two pages coming out, maybe even children for those of you who have children in this situation.

[00:26:06]The imbalance is letting you know that something's not there. Something is It's not just imbalance. Temperance reversed, impatience, an inability to alchemize, an inability to alchemize the uncomfortable emotions and transmute them into something else. This feels like people in a a family unit, in a space that are all They have no emotional maturity. They have no ability to create repair in relationships. So, they're constantly harming each other, overstepping boundaries, causing hurt and upset, but there's no way to change that. It feels like tolerating, tolerating more, taking more, tolerating more It's um exhausting.

[00:27:13]Feels like there's a new way that things can be.

[00:27:21]Let me Let me check about the page Why's the page energy here?

[00:27:30]Options, seven of cups.

[00:27:33]There's lot more options than you might imagine.

[00:27:40]This almost has, "I'm staying for the kids.

[00:27:44]I'm I'm tolerating this imbalance um in a partnership, but I'm staying for the kids, and there are lots of options."

[00:27:57]More options than you might perceive.

[00:27:59]What What options?

[00:28:02]Ooh.

[00:28:04]Oh. Okay, ace of cups in reverse. I see the ace of cups as self-love, the ultimate medicine that we only give from a full cup, from the overflow.

[00:28:19]This is someone who has been raised to care, fix everyone in the environment.

[00:28:27]Sounds like the beginning of the reading. Uh and hopes that some of that care and love and affection will come back.

[00:28:39]If you've got kids, and so you're staying for the kids, you demonstrating through your not loving yourself how they should be. Not by I feels loving in that like I'll stay, I'll take care of uh I'll tolerate uh because of the children. But what I'm getting is a picture that you might be sharing that this is acceptable. That um we should not have our own needs and wants. We shouldn't uh want to be loved and poured into with reciprocity, reciprocal.

[00:29:34]But we should just be the giving tree and give and give of our self until we're completely depleted. So kind of teaching a little martyr um and disappointment.

[00:29:51]All right.

[00:29:53]And as someone by the way who did not take this advice and stayed uh for in my head I was like I want to make sure the kids exit this um space safely where I couldn't even get my needs met and I couldn't care and somehow I couldn't care for everyone cuz I could barely care for myself at at near the end so of the relationship of the toxic environment. So um All right.

[00:30:33]Moving on to what to be mindful of.

[00:30:37]That's the That's five of wands.

[00:30:42]It's little pebble puppies it looks like.

[00:30:47]All right, be mindful of the chaos, the the fight, the competition.

[00:30:53]Um Tell me about the Oh.

[00:31:02]Remember, whatever you focus on grows.

[00:31:07]So during your day the things, the thoughts you're thinking, the words you're speaking, the actions you're taking, or the actions you're not taking are they focused on, are you talking about what you want, or you talking are you kind of stuck in that old fight?

[00:31:33]Anything else?

[00:31:36]That also looks like there might be financial No.

[00:31:41]Tell me Mm.

[00:31:45]Anything else? Thank you.

[00:31:49]Okay.

[00:31:52]Leaving these environments, it um there's a lot of repeating cycles. You might be able to leave one toxic system and go into another one.

[00:32:07]Um unless you've allowed that inner shift to change your beliefs, change how you see yourself. Otherwise, you you've got a lot of that similar energy. So, when I've left um toxic systems, toxic environments, toxic relationships um the next relationships that I went into had a lot of the same textures and energies. A lot of the same I was playing a lot of the same role in those connections.

[00:32:45]And so, it took a while for me to allow uh what was happening to shift me in internally so I could change my beliefs, change who I am, change how I show up.

[00:33:01]Um so I could have a different outcome.

[00:33:04]So, different people, different situations. If you notice that you're getting the same thing over and over, it has been my experience in this reality, this space, that um the change the most powerful way to change is from within.

[00:33:28]And then that allows you to have a change in your external world. And it looks like you've got this incredible strength. And look at this strength card depiction. She's sitting on the lion looking at that devil. And the overall energy of this reading is the devil reversed. You have the strength.

[00:33:50]You don't have to repeat cycles.

[00:33:53]And um Yeah. All right, I feel good about that.

[00:34:00]Let's I'm going to go ahead and do an extended reading. So, if you want to continue on this journey, there's a link in the description box below says extended reading here.

[00:34:11]Patreon hasn't been uploading um the last couple of extended readings. And so, I've just been putting them on YouTube. Um so, fingers crossed. I don't know if Patreon is um accessible to me, if it's working now or not. We'll find out.

[00:34:32]>> [clears throat] >> It's a big mystery, but I'll see you in part two, the extended reading, or have a wonderful rest of your day. Take care.

[00:34:41]Hope that was helpful.