Breaking the Bad News to FaZe Rug…

[00:00:00]Yo, guys. So, a couple days ago, I was playing basketball and I hurt my hand really bad. And um when I left the gym, I was being stubborn. I didn't want to go to the doctors. You know me. I was just like, "Oh, it's not a big deal.

[00:00:11]It's going to heal on its own." Like, I was just trying to be the tough guy.

[00:00:14]Like, just give it a couple days. It'll be good. But I'm not going to lie, bro.

[00:00:17]Like, it's been a couple of days after that injury and it's just getting worse and worse. The hand is getting more swollen and more bruised. I'm in a lot more pain. If anything, it's getting worse. My hand right now is no bueno.

[00:00:27]It's to the point where like I can't close my hand. Like I have no movement over here. It's even little things like texting on my phone. I can't text.

[00:00:36]Brushing my teeth. I have to use my left hand. I can't even brush my teeth.

[00:00:39]Little things like picking up a plate of food. It hurts my hand. I can't even hold my phone. I'm not going to lie. I feel old as like I be trying to text and I can't like use my hand. So I use the voice. I talk into my phone like, "Hey, what are you doing today?" And then the phone like types out what you're saying.

[00:00:54]I I feel like a freaking mom, like, you know, using my voice to text. A couple years ago, I actually broke my hand playing basketball. And I'm not going to lie, bro, the feeling, I hate to say it, but what I'm feeling right now in this hand is similar to what I felt when I broke my hand um a while back. So, I've avoided going to the hospital. I've avoided going to see a doctor, but I think it's gotten to that point where I need to go to the hospital, bro. The pain is just that bad. I can't like these last couple of days, bro. I've been in a lot of pain and I can't just sit here and do nothing anymore. So, I'm about to go to the hospital. I'm going to bring you guys with me and honestly, I'm just hoping like I'm hoping and praying that my hand is not broken because, bro, when I broke my hand a couple years ago, it was the worst.

[00:01:37]Like, I couldn't do anything. Bro, you need your hand. You use your hands to do everything. Like, little things that you don't even think about. Like, my job requires holding a camera, brushing my teeth, just having a broken bone in your hand is genuinely the worst. So, I'm going to go to the hospital right now, go see this hand doctor, and just just hope it's not broken. Wish me luck, guys. Guys, before I get in the car and go to the hospital, I have to show this in my vlog cuz it's just so beautiful. I still can't believe that my brother surprised me with this. And I have a painting of me and Booker in my living room that I'll be able to forever look at and forever hold on to the memory of me and my baby. It just I'm in love with it. It's amazing. And Brian Rug, my brother, if you're watching this video and you come across this clip, I love you so so much for doing this for me.

[00:02:23]Like, it's the painting is beautiful. I love you so much for thinking of me and doing this. And no words that can come out of my mouth can express how thankful I am that you did this for me. It just it means the world to me. Nobody will ever understand just truly how much I loved Booker and how much Booker meant to me. That was my baby. He was my little kid. He was my son. I was like his father. and losing him has been really really hard. Um, you know, after Booker passed away, it's it's been tough. It's been very hard. My life hasn't been the same. But having this over here, just something I can look at and remember the bond that me and my baby Booker always shared. Like, I love that it's a picture of me kissing him cuz I was always showing him love. I was always kissing him. I was always hugging him. Like I said, he wasn't like a dog to me. He was my baby. So, the fact that I can always look at this picture now in my living room, right like right in front of the couch, right where I sit, and I can always have this memory to remind me of the beautiful bond that me and Booker shared. Rug, I love you.

[00:03:20]Thank you for doing this for me. It means a lot for real. I'm so grateful and I'm so appreciative that you did this, Brian. And every time before I do leave my house, um, I say bye to Booker.

[00:03:30][music] Um, sorry guys if I get a little emotional.

[00:03:34]It's like I know it's been a month.

[00:03:38]Oh, I hate crying, bro.

[00:03:42]Um, I know it's been a month since I lost my baby. So, people think that it should be getting easier and people think that I should be over it and I should like have already moved on cuz a month is, you know, kind of a long time.

[00:03:54]But um I don't know why I haven't moved on yet and like I don't like feel too much better. Uh but everybody grieavves differently so please don't judge. Um you know maybe one day I'll be able to talk about Booker and uh it's sorry guys. just like I don't know. I just miss my baby, you know? Uh I I told myself like from from now on like when I make YouTube videos I wouldn't like cry anymore and like when I talk about my dog like I'll just smile and remember the good times, but like um it's just still so sad when I remember that cancer took my dog away and like he just passed away so much earlier than he should have. Like I I feel like um I feel like the cancer stole the cancer robbed a lot of um happy moments and smiles and laughter that me and my dog still should have been sharing together.

[00:05:02]And I feel like me and my dog got those happy moments that we still had a lot left. I feel like they got stolen cuz of cancer. But and I think honestly that's what makes it so hard to kind of heal from this because it wasn't like a natural death where he just passed away from old age like a lot of other dogs. I had to watch my dog with my own eyes just get sicker and sicker from this stupid cancer. And I was literally watching my dog die right in front of my own eyes. And there was nothing I could do about it. Like every single day that passed by, I was seeing my dog suffer from this evil, stupid disease. And it it was such a weird feeling. Like I was watching this cancer destroy my dog right in front of my own eyes day after day after day. No matter what I was trying, the medicine, the treatments, nothing was working. But I got to stop being sad for for you guys cuz I don't want to make you guys sad when you watch my videos. But it's hard, bro. My house just feels so quiet and empty without my baby. Like, you should be here right now with me. Like, that was my baby, bro.

[00:06:06]Like, he wasn't just a dog. Nobody understands. So, every time before I leave my house, I got to say bye to Booker. Um, obviously in case you guys don't know, this right here, this is Booker. Um, I got his ashes back to me. I got his ashes delivered to me um in this urn.

[00:06:30]Um, Booker is right here in this box.

[00:06:34]And [snorts] so before I leave the house, every single time I come here and I say bye to Booker, you know, [music] just say bye. Let him know that I'm leaving and that I'll be back. and say, "Bye, Booker. I'll be back." That's what I would always say. Like, u if I were to go somewhere that I can't bring him and he had to stay home, I would always be like, "Okay, Booker, I'll be back." And he knew that meant he can't come cuz I would take him with me everywhere. So, usually when I pick up my car keys, he would start running to the car cuz he knew he was coming with me. He was so spoiled. He knew he was coming with me wherever I was going, right? But if I was going somewhere where he wasn't allowed, like a hospital, I'd be like, "Okay, Booker, I'll be back." And he knew that meant to stay home. he wouldn't run to the car. So, Booker, I'll be back, baby. I'll be back. And yes, guys, I do sleep next to his leash. Um, I don't know why it's like a comfort thing when I go to sleep cuz for 8 years straight, Booker slept right here in my bed, right next to me.

[00:07:29]And now that he's, you know, now that he's gone, um, I don't know.

[00:07:33][clears throat] I like I bring his leash next to me and I sleep next to his leash. Um, and then that kind of kind of makes me feel like he's still here.

[00:07:42]Also, I I used to have his ashes out in the living room like under the painting that my brother did, kind of like a memorial area. But then I thought about it and um Booker never liked to be away from me. He was so attached to me. He was literally like he went everywhere I went. He was always always at my side.

[00:08:01]So recently I started bringing Booker right here in my room um so that he can sleep right next to me just like he always did for 8 years in a row. And I feel like it's just it's just better that way cuz I don't know why I was leaving him alone in the living room when he never liked to sleep alone. He used to love sleeping right next to me wherever I was. I'm not going to lie, I kind of regret like I kind of feel guilty having Booker in the living room like I had him the last couple days.

[00:08:28]Honestly, I kind of hate myself for that cuz he loved being by me. He never ever ever like ever left my side. So, I don't know why I had him in the living room while I would go to sleep in my room without him. His ashes sleeping alone in the living room while I slept in my room. Like, I hate myself for it. I feel I feel so guilty. I feel so bad. Like, I hate myself for that. But now, Booker, I'm sorry. I I promise I won't do that again. I promise. Don't hate me. I promise every night from now, you're going to be sleeping in my room right next to my bed. Okay. I bring him with me at night in the room when I go to sleep and I put him I put him right here, right by my bed facing me and that way he sleeps right here in this room with me just like he did for 8 years straight. Okay guys, um sorry like that I talked so much about Booker. It's just like he was he was my baby. He was my best friend. So, like whenever like whenever Booker gets brought up, I just have so many good things I could say about him and I love him so much and I miss him so much. I wish he was still alive and with me, but yeah, I'm sorry for like just talking about him a lot. I guess it's kind of it kind of helps me feel better about like him passing away when I can talk about him and like talk about our memories and stuff. But um yeah, back to the whole like whatever like we were supposed to do earlier. I need to go to the hospital. I'm going to go see a hand doctor and just see what's wrong with my hand cuz something's wrong, bro. I'm I'm in a lot of pain. On a side note, before I leave to the hospital, if any of you guys have lost a pet or lost a loved one, how long did it take [music] before you started feeling better? Cuz bro, it's been a month or like a little bit more than a month now since Booker passed away. I'm telling you guys, [music] I still cry every single day, multiple times a day. A month like has passed since I lost my dog. And like I I still don't feel like myself. I still don't feel like going out to dinners. I don't feel like hanging out with my friends. I don't feel like seeing my family. I don't feel like responding to people's texts. I don't feel like going out and having fun. I don't feel like filming videos or like I don't feel like myself. I'm still really sad. I'm still really upset. But it's been a month. Like I I've never lost like a family member or anything.

[00:10:37]So I didn't know what to expect [music] when Booker passed away from cancer. You know, I didn't know what to expect when I lost my baby. But yeah, it's been rough. Like, I'm still struggling. So, I want to know like if anybody watching this video has lost a loved one or lost a pet, like Booker was my soul dog. So, if you guys have ever lost a soul dog, pretty much he was like my baby, you know? Like, just how long did it take you guys before you started to feel better? Cuz for me, it's been a month.

[00:11:01]And I hate to admit this, but I don't feel any better. Um, so like is that normal? Someone did say something to me the other day. They were like, "Yo, one month is not a long time. Like, you shouldn't feel better after a month. You had Booker for eight whole years. You shared so many memories and you spent so much time with your baby Booker for eight whole years. Why would you feel better after just one month? That's not a lot of time. Brandon, give yourself a break. Cut yourself some slack and, you know, don't be so hard on yourself. One month is nothing. You spent 8 years of your life with your baby. Why would you feel better after one month? You know, it's fine. It's normal to still be grieving and still be sad and still be crying a month later. So, don't be so hard on yourself. Brandon, this person told me that um you know, me and Booker spent so much time together over these last eight years, created [music] so many memories over these last eight years, it's completely normal not to feel okay after just one month of losing him. Like this person said it's it's completely fine to still be sad a month later. Like they told me Booker was my soul dog. That's different than just having a regular dog. If you guys don't know what a soul dog is, it's pretty much like your dog, but you're like you're tied to them deeper. you're like connected with your dog emotionally.

[00:12:12]Like I don't know how to explain it, but Booker was definitely my soul dog.

[00:12:16]Honestly, like I don't know why, but sometimes I feel like I feel even more sad 1 month later than I did like a week after Booker passed. I don't know. Like it it doesn't make any sense. I don't know how to explain it, but some days recently I I've been waking up a month after Booker passed away, and I'm like, why do I feel like so sad? Like even more so than a week or two after he passed. Like it just grieving like losing a loved one is so freaking weird. Like it it just doesn't make any sense. I guess I want to know how your guys's experience went with pet loss or losing a loved one. How long did it take you guys before you started to feel better? I I just want to know if like me still being this hurt and this sad and still upset one month after losing my dog, like is that normal? But yeah, I got to stop talking. We got to go to the hospital and go get my hand checked out. Okay, guys. So, I just got to the hospital. Literally just just parked. And I'm so nervous to find out if my hand is broken or not, cuz I hope not. I really hope not. Fingers crossed. Prayers up. I hope it's just sprained or just anything other than a broken bone cuz I feel like I've been going through a lot recently. Had some bad luck recently. So, the last thing I need right now is a broken bone in my hand, especially my right hand that I do everything with. So, just wish me luck.

[00:13:34]I'm about to walk into the hospital.

[00:13:36]>> Hello.

[00:13:36]>> Hello.

[00:13:37]>> Um, can I see your ID transfer, please?

[00:13:39]>> Yeah.

[00:13:40]>> Yo, guys, I'm at the hospital right now.

[00:13:42]Well, hospital bathroom, but I'm about to get some X-rays on my hand, and fingers crossed it's not broken, cuz that's the last thing I need right now is a broken hand. So, wish me luck, guys. All right, guys. So, I'm in the little doctor's office right now, just waiting to waiting for the doctor to come in so we can see what's going on. I don't know if you guys can tell, but it's like hella swollen. It's a little bruised, but it's so fat and swollen, right? Oh my gosh. Look how fat and swollen it is right there. And like I can't really close it. See when I try to, bro. Holy [ __ ] I didn't know it was that fat and swollen till seeing it right now. This hand I could close like nothing. my right hand.

[00:14:31]I can't. It's like Yeah, it's bad. But again, hopefully it's not broken. Oh my god, it's so fat. Looks like I got bit by a snake and like the venom is like freaking puffing up my hand.

[00:14:43]>> When did you injure it?

[00:14:44]>> This was like 5 days ago. So, I waited a little bit like just to see if it would have been a little better by now.

[00:14:50]>> Is it your finger or is it your whole hand?

[00:14:52]>> I don't know if you could see it. Yeah, like starts here and then like up to my thumb, I'd say. Any allergies to medication?

[00:14:59]>> Um, no. I know it's like hard to tell, but like you don't think it's broken, right? Or >> because it's bruised. That's where the question is, you know.

[00:15:08]>> So, if it's bruised, that means like less likely it's broken or >> I mean that's something happened, you know, because it's bruised.

[00:15:16]>> Yo, guys. So, I spoke to the doctor for a little bit. I came to the bathroom real quick before I get my X-rays, but just please wish me luck. Hope my hand isn't broken cuz that would suck. So, let's go do my X-rays and just pray for the best.

[00:15:28]>> Hello.

[00:15:29]>> Hi.

[00:15:29]>> I'm Sarah. I'm a PA. Nice to meet you here today.

[00:15:32]>> Cool. Nice to meet you.

[00:15:33]>> Nice to meet you. All right. So, Liz is telling me like 5 days ago you were playing basketball.

[00:15:39]>> Uh, so I was playing and then um but he missed it and he like just came really hard down on my um like the tip of my thumb.

[00:15:47]>> Okay.

[00:15:48]>> And then like I thought I just jammed it. Like that always happens playing basketball. And then usually a couple days later the pain goes away. But then like now I don't know like if you could see it's like >> yeah it's really bruised and it was like really swollen. It's hard to like text or it's hard to like brush my teeth. So I just wanted to make sure it wasn't broken cuz I have broken fingers before.

[00:16:08]>> I'm just going to feel here real quick.

[00:16:12]I just want to test the strength.

[00:16:14]>> Yeah. Like I'd say like here, not there.

[00:16:18]Yeah, a little bit.

[00:16:19]>> So like more.

[00:16:20]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely like right there where you right here.

[00:16:25]>> Okay. Um are you able to push against my finger? Is that positive?

[00:16:29]>> Uh yeah.

[00:16:30]>> Can you push against it? Push your finger up.

[00:16:33]>> So um these images I have the X-ray images. Me taking like a quick peek just generally. Um but taking a look. This is your hand. I didn't see anything that was very obvious for a fracture or broken bone. The majority of your pain is within this joint here. And then we have ligaments that surround the joints in itself.

[00:16:55]>> And so, you know, when I was pushing along the bone, is it a ligament disruption or is it like a tendon kind of injury or strain is kind of what we're like looking for. So, you know, this here, I want to check the strength.

[00:17:09]So, I'm going to try and pull your fingers apart.

[00:17:13]>> Okay.

[00:17:13]>> I'm sure it's probably going to cause a little bit of pain. I'm going to do it pretty gently. Did that cause pain when I did that?

[00:17:18]>> A little bit. I'm thinking it might be more of a ligament thing cuz I don't know. I mean, you know more than me.

[00:17:24]>> But when we look for fracture, we go along the bony line.

[00:17:28]>> See how it's nice and crisp and smooth?

[00:17:30]>> Yeah.

[00:17:30]>> We're looking for any kind of disruption of that. So, looking through there, but it looks pretty okay as far as the bone.

[00:17:37]>> If I had like torn a ligament, would it show up in an X-ray? you know X-rays mostly look at the joint spaces as well as the bones in themselves looking for any fractures or dislocations or kind of bony abnormalities.

[00:17:50]>> Okay. And so I definitely suspect you have obviously you have so much soft tissue swelling and and echimosis meaning that there was some type of significant injury where it caused breaking of all the blood vessels underneath in the soft tissue that's causing all this you know contusion and bruising there. Yeah.

[00:18:10]>> You know even if you move see like here this is like the long tendon and it comes all the way up here. That would mean you'd have like complete rupture disruption of the ligament or the tendons, right? All the swelling. And that's the thing is like when you have fluid swelling and echimosis that occupies space where it doesn't, it can cause numbness, tingling, decreased range of motion due to all of those.

[00:18:34]>> Okay.

[00:18:35]>> Obviously, time will tell.

[00:18:37]>> Um, so a lot of the times, you know, to help them mobilize, um, I know it's going to be challenging because it's your dominant hand. Um but we do have um like a splint >> and then um I have a basketball game tomorrow but obviously like don't play right.

[00:18:53]>> Do you think you can play?

[00:18:54]>> Hell no. [laughter] >> And that's just the thing is like especially with basketball like you need full functionality of your hands to be you know contributing.

[00:19:04]>> Yeah. You like basketball?

[00:19:06]>> Um some I mean I was watching it earlier but >> if you don't watch it if you want to start you should follow Devon Booker.

[00:19:12]>> Devin Booker.

[00:19:13]>> Yeah. He's good. I've heard him.

[00:19:15]>> Yeah, you probably heard of him.

[00:19:16]>> Is he your favorite?

[00:19:17]>> He's my favorite player. Yeah, I named my dog after him, too.

[00:19:20]>> Deon or Booker?

[00:19:21]>> Uh, Booker.

[00:19:22]>> Oh, that's cool.

[00:19:23]>> Yeah. Okay, guys. So, right now I'm getting fitted for like a spiky splint.

[00:19:28]Thumb spy splint. I'm not sure what it was called, but I'm going to be leaving here in like a little cast. My hand is not broken. I think there's like torn ligaments or some ligament damage, but my bone is not broken. It's not fractured. So, um I don't know how long I'm going to be in a cast for, but I know when I broke my hand a couple years ago, I was in a cast for 2 months. So, now that it's not broken and it's ligament damage, like torn ligaments or something. I'm hoping it's a little bit less. I know it sucks to be in a cast for a couple weeks. But, and this one like is easy to like take off if I need to shower or something.

[00:20:00]>> Yeah, [snorts] you take it off.

[00:20:02]That's it. Do you feel like it's good?

[00:20:04]>> Yeah. Where's like the metal thingy?

[00:20:07]>> Oh, right here.

[00:20:07]>> Oh, right there. And then also the wrist. Is that good?

[00:20:10]>> Uh, yeah.

[00:20:11]>> Yeah. Okay. And then you could see the metal if you like.

[00:20:14]>> Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. So, it's supposed to be on the side, not like over here.

[00:20:18]>> Yeah.

[00:20:19]>> And I'll like mobilize it.

[00:20:20]>> Okay.

[00:20:31]>> Yeah. You don't want me to cut it?

[00:20:32]>> No, cuz I think it'll be too tight.

[00:20:34]>> All right. You have a few minutes. We'll have some paperwork for you [snorts] right now.

[00:20:37]>> Okay. Thank you.

[00:20:38]>> You're welcome.

[00:20:39]>> All right, guys. Well, your boy is going to have to be wearing this for the next couple weeks. You know, bro, when I turned 30 years old, a lot of people told me, "Bro, you got to stop playing basketball cuz now that you're unk, your bones are a lot weaker. You know, the injuries are going to start piling up."

[00:20:56]They told me I should start playing golf or freaking do crossword puzzles and maybe play pickle ball or something like that. And I was like, "No, I'm good. I love basketball. I don't care how old I am. I'm always going to keep playing."

[00:21:06]But bro, when you turn 30 years old, these injuries start to pile up. Bro, I feel like my bones are too weak. 30 years old trying to play basketball at like a LA Fitness or 24-Hour Fitness, you going to end up like this. Yo, guys, so that doctor's visit, I did not get good news.

[00:21:23]I tore multiple ligaments in my thumb and my hand. The funny thing is when the X-rays came back and the doctor was like, "Oh, your hand is not broken. We don't see a break in the bone." I was happy. I was like, "Oh, thank God."

[00:21:36]Because, you know, the whole day I was like, "Oh, I hope my hand's not broken."

[00:21:38]So, when I got happy cuz the doctor said there was no broken bones. She was like, "Not so fast, though, because we think that there's torn ligaments. We sense that there's ligament damage." And I guess what I found out today that I didn't know torn ligaments are worse than broken bones. They take longer to heal. A broken bone takes like 6 weeks or 8 weeks. Torn ligaments take even longer. And I might need surgery. I don't even know. That's the scary part.

[00:22:01]So the next step they referred me to go to this imaging center where I need to get a MRI because the hospital that I was at, the hand doctor, they didn't have an MRI machine. They weren't able to do MRIs, only X-rays. And I guess with X-rays, you can only see broken bones. You can't see ligament damage.

[00:22:17]And that's what they're saying that I have. So I have an appointment in a couple of days at this imaging center and I need to get an MRI. And the hand doctor said after the MRI results come back, if my ligament is partially torn, then I might not need surgery. It can heal on its own. I just need to be in this cast for 6 weeks. That's best case scenario, bro. Best case, my ligament is partially torn. It's not a full tear.

[00:22:40]And I'm in this cast for 6 weeks. No basketball for 6 weeks, but no surgery.

[00:22:45]And the ligament just heals on its own with time. Now, here's where things get scary, though. If I go get my MRI and the results come back and my ligament is fully torn, it's a full rupture of my ligament, then I need surgery to repair it. It does not heal on its own. No matter what you wear, no matter how long I'm in this cast, I need surgery to repair it. And at that point, the recovery is like months and months and months. And then if I do the surgery, like even after like a couple months when it heals, then I got to go to physical therapy cuz they said I'm going to lose all the strength in my right hand. So I got to do therapy to regain the like the surgery. Like if my ligament is fully torn and I got to get surgery, that's just that would suck honestly. So, I have my appointment to get my MRI in a couple days at some imaging center, and I'm praying, like literally praying and praying and praying that it's not a full tear of my ligament, cuz bro, I'm not trying to do a surgery, you know what I mean? Like, if it's a partial tear and I'm in this little cast for 6 weeks, yo, that's bad enough. I'll take it. But a surgery, if it's a full tear in my ligament, a surgery, uh-uh. Like my year has already been so unlucky from finding out my dog has cancer to him passing away from the cancer to now possibly needing surgery.

[00:23:54]Like bro, please God, if I can just if I could just catch a break this time and when I go get my MRI, I find out that it's a partial tear, I'll be so grateful. I'll be so thankful. Please, not a full tear of my ligament. I am a little nervous though because um even though this hand doctor said they don't have an MRI machine, she said just based on the test that she was doing and like testing my strength, she is worried that it might be a full tear of my ligament and not a partial tear, which would be the worst case scenario. Like I said, need surgery to get repaired. And [snorts] your boy's not trying to go under like surgery and all that stuff, bro. Like obviously I hope that the doctor is wrong, but she told me like just from looking at my hand and from everything I've told her. She said she doesn't want to speak too soon cuz we don't have the MRI results yet, but she said it might be past the point where it'll heal on its own. And she thinks I need the surgery. She said the signs are there that I probably need to have it surgically repaired. I never hope doctors are wrong, but this is the one time I hope this doctor is wrong and that I don't need the surgery. Yo guys, so I just pulled up to Rug's house and it's time to tell him what's going on with my hand.

[00:25:00]Bro, >> dude, I actually can't believe this.

[00:25:05]This is so weird seeing you in that, >> bro. This isn't even the worst part.

[00:25:10]Take my hand, Together we will fly away.

[00:25:15]>> Yes, celebrate. I I was thinking High School Musical.

[00:25:18]>> Yeah, same. Troy Bolton was singing to Vanessa Hudins.

[00:25:22]>> Um We're all in this together. No, it's not. Ow, bro. Relax with my hands. The guy shaking my whole hand.

[00:25:30]>> What's the diagnosis on it?

[00:25:31]>> Okay. The diagnosis is it's not a broken bone. The X-rays came back clean.

[00:25:37]>> That's great.

[00:25:37]>> That's what I thought. Bro, hold this.

[00:25:42]>> Wait, why are you filming it upside down like this, bro? Okay, go.

[00:25:45]>> Is it upside down?

[00:25:46]>> I mean, >> bro, I only have one hand. I don't know how to film right now. Anyways, when the X-rays came back and the doctor was like, "Oh, you have no broken bones." I celebrated. I was happy. And then she was like, "Uh, not so fast. You tore ligaments down your your thumb down to your hand."

[00:26:00]>> Wait, what?

[00:26:01]>> She doesn't know if it's a partial tear or a full rupture. I need to get an MRI in a couple of days and they didn't have the MRI machine at that um whatever hospital. So, I have to go. Bro, you want to know what the difference between the two things are >> between partial and >> full? Okay. Partial tear. Keep in mind that's the best case scenario. I'm in this cast for 6 weeks. A month and a half of no basketball.

[00:26:27]It'll heal on its own in this cast in 6 weeks. That's the best case.

[00:26:31]>> Okay.

[00:26:31]>> A full tear surgery with a 3 to four month recovery.

[00:26:38]>> Bro.

[00:26:38]>> Bro, >> that's the one thing I thought of was basketball. How are you going to not play basketball for even 6 weeks?

[00:26:44]>> Now imagine 3 to 4 months. I would finally be able to beat you, >> dude. Hopefully it's the three to four month. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

[00:26:53]>> Imagine you can finally beat me when I get surgery.

[00:26:55]>> No, no, no. I'm kidding. But dude, yeah, that's not just basketball, though. What about like just dayto-day things, >> bro? Filming. I can't hold a camera.

[00:27:02]Like editing, brushing my teeth, eating, texting. Bro, it's so It's It's been rough.

[00:27:08]>> How did it happen?

[00:27:09]>> From basketball. Yeah.

[00:27:11]>> But like how like did you get a rebound?

[00:27:13]>> No. Someone like fell on my thumb.

[00:27:16]Yeah, bro.

[00:27:17]>> Damn, bro.

[00:27:18]>> And also, like the scary thing is when I was telling the hand surgeon, I was like, "But what do you think?" Like, just based on like how it feels and like what you're seeing, she said, "Obviously, we need to see the MRI results, but like it looks like you probably would need to get it surgically repaired."

[00:27:32]>> No way.

[00:27:33]>> She said, "Just based on your strength, cuz she was testing my strength." She said, "Based on that, it doesn't look like one that would heal on its own."

[00:27:40]But she said she doesn't want to speak too soon.

[00:27:42]>> So, I got to get the MRI, but it's already not looking good, bro.

[00:27:45]>> Damn.

[00:27:46]>> Dude, is this the worst year of my life?

[00:27:47]>> No, I was going to say it's not a good year so far.

[00:27:50]>> I cannot catch a break, bro. I know everything happens for a reason. Like, you know, we got to be grateful for the life that we're given and everything and I understand that, but bro, this year has been torture and I just >> I can't, bro. I can't get a >> go you got to go through the bad to get to the good. Well, I hope the bat is a partial tear and not a full tear result in surgery. But >> dude, this is so weird seeing you like not go play basketball four or five times a week.

[00:28:15]>> I swear.

[00:28:17]>> 11 a.m.

[00:28:21]>> What's that 11:00 a.m.? It's supposed to be 11:00 p.m. 11:02.

[00:28:24]>> 11:02. No, [laughter] this is >> This man has an alarm for 11:02 now to never forget.

[00:28:29]>> It's supposed to go off.

[00:28:31]>> Is it the ghost?

[00:28:32]>> No, I think so. Bro, >> the only way it's supposed to go off is this.

[00:28:36]>> Did you know the planet is spinning?

[00:28:39]>> Feeling pretty great.

[00:28:41]>> Okay, listen.

[00:28:42]>> Dude, why did that JUST GO OFF?

[00:28:43]>> LISTEN, LISTEN. LISTEN. I'm already under the assumption like that my hand, this happened to my hand cuz of all the ghost videos I did with you. So, let me take myself out of your house right now before this thing starts getting more possessed.

[00:28:53]>> Wait, that's so weird. Like, I literally just got this. I put batteries in it.

[00:28:57]The only way it goes off is by pressing this button.

[00:29:01]>> Perfect weather for a nap, huh? And it went off on its own.

[00:29:04]>> Why did it say 11:00 a.m. twice?

[00:29:06]>> It literally went off on its own when we were sitting here talking. Bro, I got to get out of here. I love you.

[00:29:10]>> All right. Love you, too, bro. Um, get some rest.

[00:29:13]>> I'll keep you updated after the MRI.

[00:29:15]>> Hopefully.

[00:29:15]>> Hopefully, it's not a full tear.

[00:29:17]>> Hopefully a partial tear and I just have to be in here for 6 weeks, which is still crazy.

[00:29:21]>> That's crazy. Maybe you could get into video games.

[00:29:24]>> I can't hold a controller, you idiot.

[00:29:26]>> Maybe you could get into the pain from the torn ligaments. Yo, this [ __ ] actually hurts. Like, I'm trying to not be a baby, but damn, bro.

[00:29:37]I I don't even know where the torn ligaments are. Like, my thumb and my lower hand. This [ __ ] hurts, bro. It stings. If you guys have ever had torn ligaments, you guys probably know what I'm talking about. The pain that comes with it. This is not fun. I mean, I'm not going to find out today or tomorrow if I need the surgery or not, cuz my appointment for the MRI is not until a couple more days. So, all I can ask from you guys is please just pray for me and wish me luck that the MRI results come back clean and I don't need surgery.

[00:30:05]Being in this cast for 6 weeks, that's bad enough. And that's the best case scenario. Like, I know now that my ligament is for sure partially torn. And best case, I can't play basketball for 6 weeks and I got to wear this cast and not move my right hand for six whole weeks. That's the best case scenario.

[00:30:21]And that's already tough. But guess what? 6 weeks is a whole lot better than doing a surgery. and then being in a cast for months and months and months and then having to do physical therapy to to regain my strength back. Like, I'm not trying to do all that, bro. So, just pray for me. Wish me luck. And I'm going to get my MRI in a couple days and just hope I don't need surgery, man. Bro, my biggest worry walking into that hospital. I didn't want to have a broken bone. That was my biggest fear. I didn't want to get news that I broke my hand.

[00:30:47]Come to find out that I got even worse news than that and tearing your ligaments is worse than a fracture in your bone. I had no idea, bro. When she said, "Your hand is not broken, but you have ligament damage." I was celebrating. I was like, "Oh, thank God." Then she was like, "Um, not so fast. The ligament actually takes longer to recover and it is a worse injury."

[00:31:07]And I'm like, "Oh, great." But bro, 6 weeks without basketball. Like all my hoopers know that's a long time. That's almost 2 months that I can't pick up a basketball and play. Bro, I might get fat. I got to I got to do some different exercises. But actually, bro, forget basketball. six weeks in this cast and it's my right hand. That's my dominant hand. Bro, I can't even brush my teeth with this hand. I can't eat food with this hand. I can't drive like hold the steering wheel. I can't text on my phone. Yo, these next six weeks are about to be tough. But let's just hope that it's only 6 weeks and it's a partial tear and it's not like a full tear of the ligament and I need surgery and then those six weeks turn into months and months and months of recovery. Nah, please, bro. Please, guys, I will say the one thing that sucks about tearing ligaments and being in this cast and not being able to play basketball. The only thing that sucks is, you know, ever since my dog passed away, obviously I've been really sad, really hurt, really upset, pretty depressed. The only thing that has helped me feel a little bit better after my dog passed away is when I go out to my backyard and I shoot some hoops. I play some basketball. All my hoopers out there know if anybody is watching this video that loves basketball, you guys already know when you're shooting hoops and it's just you by yourself, maybe listening to some music, but it's you yourself, your thoughts, and a basketball on an empty court just shooting hoops. That is the best therapy. It's literally healing. It helps destress you. It helps you get your mind off whatever you're going through. All my hoopers out there playing basketball, it helps you get your mind off anything that you're going through in life. And I'm not going to lie, me personally, after Booker passed away, I've been using basketball as an outlet to kind of try to feel better.

[00:32:46]I've been using me playing basketball.

[00:32:48]I've been using that as like sort of like a therapy. It just helps me not think about what happened with my dog as much. It's just therapy. It's healing, you know what I mean? And so now that this happened to my hand and I'm in this little cast, I hate that I can't play basketball, you know? It sucks cuz playing basketball was like my little stress relief um during this tough situation I'm going through. So now that I don't have that option to play basketball anymore because of these freaking torn ligaments, it sucks. But it is what it is. That's just life, bro.

[00:33:17]Some things are out of your control and this is one of them. So it sucks. But what can you do? It just sort of sucks cuz after Booker passed away, I haven't really been in the mood to hang out with any friends. I haven't been going out to restaurants. I haven't I haven't really been doing anything. Right. After my dog passed away, I didn't feel like myself.

[00:33:34]I didn't feel like wanting to do anything. But basketball was the one thing that I finally started to kind of get back into. Recently, I started going back to the gym and started to play basketball again. And that was the one thing that I kind of got up out of the house to do after Booker passed away was to go play basketball. It helped me feel a little bit better. It helped get my mind off things. But now I can't even play basketball because of my hand injury. So, kind of sucks. Guys, I'm not going to lie. Something that still hurts me a little bit about my dog passing away. Something that still makes me sad about my dog not being here with me anymore is anytime I was having a bad day or anytime I got some bad news, anytime I was feeling sad or upset, you know, I would come home, I would open this door right here. I would come home and the first person to greet me at the door right here would be my baby Booker.

[00:34:25]>> There's Booker.

[00:34:28]Did you miss me, Booker? Did you miss me? Yeah, you want to lick my face like it's full of sweat after the gym. Let's see the rest of the night or watch game.

[00:34:40]>> No matter [clears throat] how bad of a day I was having, no matter how terrible I felt, no matter how upset I was, like for example, getting news that I tore ligaments in my hand and not being able to play basketball, being in pain, being in this cast, I'd be sad. I'd be upset, right? But I would come home and the first person that I would see right here at the door would be my baby Booker. He would run up to me, jump on me, hug me, you know, um just show me so much love, and again, no matter how bad of a day I was having, no matter how sad I was, no matter how terrible I felt, seeing my baby's face right when I walked through my door, it just always made me feel better. He wasn't just my dog. He was someone that when I felt down, when I felt upset, when I felt sad, he would just cheer me up. Having Booker by my side when I got home, anytime I had a bad day, it would just put the biggest smile on my face. It would instantly make me feel better. He was He was my comfort. He loved me so much. He was my therapy. And me coming home now to an empty house after getting bad news like this and like not having Booker here to greet me right when I walk in through that door. It just it hurts. I'm not going to lie. And I'm still not used to it. It's [sighs] it's a sad feeling, you know? It's just I I don't know. Over the last couple years, there's been a lot of different moments where something bad has happened or I've just been going through some deep [ __ ] you know? And the second I walk in through that door, the second I get home, Booker, my baby, he just runs right up to me and shows me so much love, I forget about all the sadness in my life. It's just me and my baby. I talk to him. I vent to him. I talk to him about how bad my day was and I just feel better. He looks at me with his cute puppy dog eyes. He lays his head on my chest. He gives me cuddles. He shows me love. And it's like all the sadness that I had when I was on my way home, it just goes away. So now moments like this hit a little bit harder. For example, going to the doctor, finding out that I hurt my hand, I tore ligaments, I'm in this cast. Coming home and not having my baby right here waiting for me at the door to make me feel better. It just um I don't know. It's like I'm still not used to it. I it sucks. It hurts. And it's, you know, uh he was he was just he was my comfort. You know, I've said this before. When I'm going through some [ __ ] in my life, when I'm feeling sad, when I'm feeling upset, if I came home and I saw a brand new Lamborghini waiting for me at my door, I wouldn't be happy. It wouldn't make me smile. Or if I'm upset if I'm sad and I open my door and I have a million dollars cash sitting right here at the door, I wouldn't care. I would still be sad. But something about me going through a rough time and seeing my dog's face when I open that door, that's what made me smile. That's what made me happy. You know, that's what took away all my sadness. Seeing my dog, my baby Booker. And, you know, now that he's not here anymore, it's it makes moments like this, it makes him just a little bit harder to come home and sit with the bad news all by myself. It just hurts that now, instead of my baby being there physically to greet me. Um, he's over here in this box. And, you know, it's it's it's going to take some time to get used to.

[00:37:44]I'm not going to lie. Uh, it's been a month and some things still hit hard.

[00:37:49]It's just crazy to me that something that meant so much to me, something that played such a big part in my life and something that I just I loved so much could just be stuffed in this box now, burned and ashes. And I just I [sighs and gasps] it sucks, but it is what it is and that's life, you know.

[00:38:10]But Booker, I got bad news about my hand today at the doctor's. And I just wish you were here so that you could see me in this cast and I could talk to you about me tearing my ligaments and you could make me feel better about the bad news I got at the doctor, you know. But you know, I swear, Booker, if I had one wish right now, I wish you were here with me still. You'd be smelling my cast right now wondering what the heck is on my arm. And it sucks. I just I wish you were still here with me, Booker. [sighs] I miss you so much, baby. I wish you were still here with me. Nothing is the same without you. Nothing in my life is the same without you.

[00:38:53]I would do literally anything to have you back in my arms for just one more day, one more hour, one more minute. I would do anything to have you back in my life. I swear, Bookie, I love you so much and I hope you always know that.

[00:39:07]And I hope you're having a lot of fun.

[00:39:09]in Doggy Heaven. I hope they're taking care of you good. I hope all the other dogs in Doggy Heaven are being nice to you, sharing their toys, giving you treats. [music] I just hope everyone is being nice to you over there. And hopefully one day we'll meet again, Booker. One day, I I really want to see you again, and I really want to be with you again. Maybe one day in the future, but for now, I hope they're taking care of you good over there in doggy heaven.

[00:39:33]It's Damn, I hate cancer. Um, yeah, it's it feels different. The house feels different without my baby. It's very empty, very quiet, very silent. Um, I feel like there's no more life in the house without my baby. You guys tell me.

[00:39:54]Tell me if I'm wrong.

[00:40:04]It's just quiet. It's empty. It's silent. Like there's something missing.

[00:40:08]It's like there's something that should be here that's that's not, you know, and it's hard. It really is. I do love this picture though. Very meaningful. Very special. [sighs] I miss Booker so much.

[00:40:20]The house isn't the same without you, Bookie. It's just not like you're supposed to be over here running around.

[00:40:26]I should be hearing your little your little footsteps on the tile. It's crazy that he's really gone. I feel like what some people might not understand is me losing Booker. It wasn't just me losing a dog. It was losing literally my best friend who I had such a close close relationship with. Like when I went and got Booker the first day I ever saw him, the first day I brought him home with me when he was a little baby, he probably thought I saved his life, you know, taking him from where he was living to come bring him to live with me. My dog Booker probably thought that I saved his life. My baby Booker didn't know that he actually ended up saving my life. I needed my baby Booker in my life. And I never knew that. But Booker, if you're listening to me up there in doggy heaven, I just want you to know that I didn't save your life. You saved my life. I needed you more times than you ever needed me. And you were always there for me. Honestly, me injuring my hand, tearing ligaments, that's nothing.

[00:41:20]Like this little hand injury, this is nothing compared to, you know, other stuff I've went through. There have been so many moments in these last couple years that I've went through some real [ __ ] I've went through some really tough moments that maybe you guys just won't ever hear about. Honestly, I'm not afraid to say this. There have been moments where I feel like I've lost myself and didn't even know if I wanted to be here anymore, right? And my dog was the one that was there for me during my real dark times, during my real depressing times. And he would just always make me feel better no matter what I was going through. Honestly, I'm not afraid to admit that my dog is the reason that I'm still here today. and Booker, my baby, was just always there for me to make me feel better. So, you know, me not having my baby Booker in my life anymore, not having him here with me anymore, it it's been really tough. It's been really hard. And um I don't know. I just I miss you so much, buddy. You know that my life is not the same without you.

[00:42:16]It's really not.

[00:42:18]>> Guys, I'm so sorry that when it comes to my dog, I talk so much about him. Like I yap and yap and yap when it comes to my baby Booker. It's just like I'm sorry guys. I know you probably get bored of it and you probably get sick and tired of me talking about my dog and all the memories I had with Booker, but it's like for me it's I just shared so many good moments with my dog Booker that whenever his name gets brought up, I can go on and on and on and talk for hours and hours and hours about how much I love him and how much I miss him and how much he meant to me. So, I'm sorry if it comes off as annoying or I'm sorry if it comes off as like, "Okay, Brandon, we get it. You love your dog. Like, stop talking about it." But it's just for me, I don't know. Whenever his name gets brought up, I just have a million different things that I want to talk about and a million different things that I want to say about how amazing Booker was. And it's hard to control myself. Like, I just want to let the whole world know how great of a dog he was and how loving and how sweet and like he was just such a good boy. I guess it's also a way that I grieve my dog dying from cancer. It's like, I'm not going to lie, when I'm able to like vent and when I when I'm able to share all the good moments we had, it does make me feel a little bit better about losing him. I guess it's like my therapy when I'm able to talk to you guys about my dog and and get things off my chest.

[00:43:28]So, I guess I it's like a coping thing.

[00:43:30]I don't know. I don't know. But I realize like, holy, I do talk a lot about my dog and I don't do it on purpose. I just love him so much and I miss him so much. But I do apologize and I'm sorry if it comes off as annoying cuz for me it's like beautiful moments I'm sharing about Booker, but for you guys it's probably like, "Okay, bro. We get it. Like he's gone. He's passed away. Cancer took him. Like we don't care." So like I'm sorry if I come off as annoying or like repeating the same stuff. It's just like I said, I've realized that my grieving process, like after losing my baby, when I am able to talk about him and share our good moments, it does like make me feel a little bit better to let it all out. So I guess it's sort of like my therapy when I'm able to talk about Booker. Um, but yeah, I'm sorry if it annoys you guys, but yeah, I love you