The Last Time Black Girls Were Allowed to Be Normal

[00:00:00]Don't do it.

[00:00:23]The more I look back at the black sitcoms we used to have, the more I realize we're actually regressing. In the '9s, we had multiple versions of black girlhood that existed at the same time. And now it seems like the black girls and women we see on screen keep getting the same old tired stereotypes.

[00:00:42]And let's be clear, it's not because we ran out of stories. It just seems like the higherups, aka the people who greenlight these shows, are against allowing black girls to just be girls without the struggle. And I do believe that the people who greenlight these shows and the actual writers are not the same. I know that we have an abundance of writers who want these stories and are actively creating them. So, until these stories get the green light they deserve and the industry catches up, let's revisit the ones that actually got made. If this is your first time here, welcome to the coloring room, a place where I color and talk about black women and girls on screen and in real life.

[00:01:22]The dressing room playlist is part of a bigger series where I celebrate every version of black girlhood and womanhood on screen and break down exactly what each one of these characters gave us.

[00:01:34]Today's video is about an archetype that probably should have kicked off this series because without her, none of my other archetypes would exist, and that's the suburban black girl. And just like everybody else I've covered on this channel, she doesn't look the same. So, I'm going to give you three versions of her today, and I'm probably going to have to do a follow-up because I have left some off. But, I wanted to give them their time, their shine, their flowers. And if this specific video doesn't resonate with you, stay anyway because I'm on a mission to make sure every black girl and woman watching this series finds her somewhere in this room.

[00:02:11]So, if she's not in this video, she's probably in the next one. I've talked extensively on this channel about how we as black women first came on the scene.

[00:02:20]But to understand why this archetype is so powerful, we have to examine how it started. We know that when black people were not able to legally exist as property anymore, the next way to, you know, continue a certain narrative was to control the media and what was put out. Which is why we saw so many black women as the mammy or the maid. Always in service to a white family, but never the center of her own story. But thankfully, changes happened. Of course, not overnight. It took decades and several shows and I just can't imagine what the actors and actresses went through to make it happen. But I am so grateful to them, the stories we know and the ones we don't. And although she's not super relevant, I do want to point out that Hazel Scott was one of the first to host her own TV show. And I wanted to include that bit of information because a it's factual and b it sets the groundwork on how black women were able to change the narrative.

[00:03:19]In 1950, Hazel Scott was on TV playing the piano, not playing a maid, mind you.

[00:03:25]Then there's Sicily Tyson in the early 60s who played a secretary. Yes, it was a small role, but it was the first time a black woman was on a weekly series as something more than domestic help. Then we had Michelle Nichols as Lieutenant Yhura. Girl, you know, I'm going to put it on the screen. She played in Star Trek. And I'm not even going to hold y'all. I've never got into Star Trek, but it was really cool to learn that information. A show that I do think is relevant to this conversation was called Julia. And I think that show created the shift that opened doors for the women I'll be talking about in this video. But I can't mention her without giving these other ladies their flowers because they contributed to this as well. If there are any other black characters around this time um that I did not mention, cuz I'm sure I did, please let me know in the comments so other people can look them up and learn more about it. In 1968, a show called Julia starred Diane Carol, who played a widowed nurse that was raising her son alone in an LA apartment. And I know that doesn't really sound like a big thing, but in 1968 that was revolutionary because it was an entire show centered around a black woman who was well off. And the show had commercial success. Diane won a Golden Globe and was the first ever Emmy nomination for a black woman in a leading role. But like most things, you can never please everyone. And Julia got dragged by both black and white critics.

[00:04:59]We can't talk about that show without acknowledging that it was almost colorblind, meaning Julia lived in a world where racism barely existed. We had a lavish apartment with designer clothes on a nurse's salary, and people didn't really like that. Here's my thing. White shows were afforded so much room. Nobody asked how Samantha, who was from the show Bewitched, how she could afford that kind of house on her husband's salary or how the Brady brunch with all them kids bought a whole house.

[00:05:33]Fantasy was allowed and people weren't asking those shows to account for every dollar on screen. And the reason for that was because people watching these shows understood that these families on screen didn't represent an entire race of people. But when Julia lived comfortably, suddenly it was unrealistic. The people watching her, the critics, they needed her paycheck to make sense. But let's call it what it is. The second a black woman got to exist without struggle attached to her, she had critics of both races upset.

[00:06:06]Someone who was so flawless and refined that he couldn't possibly offend anyone.

[00:06:12]And Diane said it herself. She called Julia a white negro. A character who, in her words, had very little negroness, though she acknowledged that her character was built to meet the needs of white writers and also to make white audiences comfortable. And we've seen some of this in later sitcoms with characters like Claire Huxable, capable women who were able to set the bar high.

[00:06:38]But in some ways, it's also a trap because it pushes a narrative that if you can have these things with hard work alone, then anyone who doesn't have it just didn't work hard enough. And that's not true. It's kind of the same thing that I mentioned in my um Disney video that I did on Princess Tiana, that same idea. And it did impact Carol. She fought the writers for anything that felt authentic. She stated that she wanted her character to wear an afro and still got told no. She was hospitalized twice for stress before she finally asked out of her contract. I say all that to say Julia like the show was not perfect and I can argue that it wasn't authentic but it created a fantasy which was more than what we'd ever gotten before. And not only that, Julia proved something the industry refused to believe that a black woman could lead a show, pull a broad audience and make money doing it. I just hate that it came at a personal cost to the woman who opened that door and also the other women that I mentioned before. And after her, we got even more representation.

[00:07:48]Thea Graves was on her own prime time drama in 1974. He played a homicide detective with actual legal authority.

[00:07:57]We also got Good Times and the Jeffersons, which gave us more black households almost 30 years later. That's exactly why we have characters like Moisha and Laura Winslow. The difference now is that these women have the ability to be ordinary girls, flawed and human, and actually black out loud. Now that we got a little more backstory, you understand that the suburban black girl was the foundation. Think about every other archetype I've covered on this channel. The bubbly girl who confronts you with a smile. The unserious girl who refuses to perform excellence. The dity girl who collects receipts while everyone underestimates her. Every single one of these archetypes is a variation of a different kind of black woman who goes against a specific standard. But you can't have that standard without the prototype, right?

[00:08:48]Like you can't be unserious unless there's a version of Sirius to compare her to. The suburban black girl is the baseline. She's the normal that every other archetype gets measured against.

[00:09:00]And I will say I jumped the gun with the ditzy and bubbly archetype because it's what I feel most connected to. But we needed the suburban black girl because he gave us the basic option to be seen as normal on screen. Like the bare minimum basically. So let's start with the original it girl next door, Moisha Mitchell, who lived in Lemur Park, which is in LA. And if you know, you know. And if you don't, of course, I'm going to tell you. It's not just any neighborhood. It's known as one of the most historically significant black neighborhoods in the entire country.

[00:09:35]Notice I said one, not the only. And another thing I love is the fact that the black family that isn't in a white suburb. This is a black family in a black neighborhood surrounded by black professionals, black teachers, black business owners. The whole ecosystem is, say it with me, black. And this is reinforced throughout the show. The den, which is the local hangout spot that Moisha and her friends practically live in, is owned by a black person within the community, Renelle High, where she goes to school with Kim, Ni, and Hi King. None of these things are not important. They're pretty much solidifying the all black universe concept. Marie Akquil is the writer who went on to create Girlfriends, The Parkers, The Game, and I know I might be missing some more. With all that in mind, she's not perfect like the writer, she's not perfect for some of what she put out, but you already know I'm always going to give her flowers, especially for giving us the opportunity to see this and also for the location that she intentionally chose. Another fun fact I learned about Mara is that Maya from the show Girlfriends also lives in Lemur Park. I don't know, I think that's just kind of cool that she and Moisha are practically neighbors. And I promise we're really going to get into Moisha, but to understand the suburban black girl archetype is to understand that she exists within the framework of community. There is an entire ecosystem of people around her that look like her without her having to be the token. And that's the beauty of this archetype.

[00:11:09]When you're not the only one, you don't have to be the perfect one either. You get room to be ordinary. The community around these girls that I'm going to be talking about is what makes The Ordinary possible. So, I need you to keep the idea of community in your head as we're going through each of these girls because it's not necessarily just about the girl in isolation. It's about the whole world built around her that lets her be one. And in Moisha's case, her world starts at home in her room. Now, back to the characters. Her dad, Frank Mitchell, is a successful car dealer who isn't struggling. And when the show opens, we meet her stepmother, D, the new wife, who also happens to be the vice principal at Moisha's school. It's such a fun storyline that we don't really get for black teen girls. And that stability is why we could even have this archetype. Having parents who are financially stable is what allows Melicia to be ordinary in the first place. And I also feel like it's a good time to point out that stability isn't always tied to money because being suburban doesn't automatically mean rich. To me, it means having enough.

[00:12:22]Though even though the parent clearly has a job, they aren't stretched so thin that they can't set aside time to listen to their child talk about a bad day that she had because of a boy. And yes, having the job is the financial stability, but it's also emotional stability. And Moisha had both. Frank wasn't just financially stable. He was present. He represented the kind of dad who could handle hearing his daughter talk about teenage drama and also be able to have a hard conversation about the world without either one of those throwing the house off balance, right?

[00:12:55]Like he had space for both. So when I say suburban, especially suburban black girls, I'm not talking about how big the house is, but how safe the girl inside it gets to feel. And the whole dear diary that she does is so brilliant because it gives us as the viewer the chance to see her inner world without anyone else's opinion of her. Moisha is doing the narrating and gets to explain herself in every episode. And by now I'm pretty sure y'all see me as the creator who thinks way too deep into everything and you would be correct. But the fact that we got to see an unambiguous black girl get to process her story and tell you what she thinks without someone else doing that for her, I just nothing like it. And we can't leave this section without talking about the braids because Moisha and her beautiful, infamous box braids on a major network as the actual lead character, that was her making a statement without even having to say a word. Where Diane from the show Julia had to follow a specific look that was polished for white audiences. Moisha didn't have to do that. She wore box braids and microb braids for everything.

[00:14:11]Regular school days, prom, every occasion, whether it was casual or formal. You best believe she was wearing braids. And it wasn't just the braids.

[00:14:21]It was her whole style. Moisha wasn't dressed like Julia, wearing gowns no one in the audience could actually afford.

[00:14:28]Moisha dressed like your fashionable homegirl. It wasn't either or. It was really both. That to me is what the suburban black girl is. She's not too polished, but she's also not too plain.

[00:14:41]She's stylish in a way that the girls watching her could actually go out and recreate it if they went to the mall that same weekend. In my opinion, the same way people rant and rave about Carrie Bradshaw's closet is the same way we did with Moisha in her outfits. Let me also say this before we get into the next section. Misha wasn't the first black it girl on TV. But she was the one who was able to just be normal and that's what we needed. Now, let's talk about the good girl nextdoor archetype, Laura Winslow. Nine seasons on Family Matters. Kelly Williams played her from a kid into a young woman and you can actually watch that growth happen in real time. And I'm also going to point this out. I have a dedicated video that I'm going to be doing on Myra, but I'm going to focus on Laura for this one.

[00:15:32]This show was centered in Chicago, and it gave us a household with a dad who's a cop and a mom who's sharp and professional. And just like Moisha, that stability is doing a lot of work.

[00:15:45]Laura's whole archetype only exists because the writers trusted her household enough to let her problems be small. To actually be a child, then a teen, and eventually a young adult. Let me address the phrase good girl because it sounds like a girl performing purity, someone who's always agreeable or makes her small. That's not what I mean when I say about Laura or this archetype. To me, it's more simple. This archetype gave a black girl a childhood where she could be naive, right? Because naive in this sense is that she doesn't know it all. She's not supposed to. The opportunity to grow up in stages instead of being rushed into adulthood the way black girls so often are on screen and offscreen. And we already know adultification is a real thing, especially for black girls. We don't often get the protected innocence that other kids get by default. So watching Laura get nine full seasons to actually be a girl and a teen with problems was incredible. So the archetype good girl is more of an acknowledgment of a type of black girl who got time to be young and naive to the world. We got to watch a girl grow into herself without rushing to make her into something else. And of course, like I mentioned in Moisha's section, the key to this archetype is the community that surrounds her. Her mother, Harriet, was the center of the family while also being outspoken and would always say what she thought to her husband as an equal. Laura learned how to demian respect in a room by watching her mother do it first. And then there's Mother Winslow, which is the grandmother, giving Laura something else entirely. There was a sense of history that her character brought as well as accountability. Then there was Aunt Rachel, who brought another version of black womanhood into the house. She was warm and independent in her own way. So Laura wasn't watching just like one version of what a woman could be. She was watching several under one roof. And that's what I love about the good girl archetype. When she has the chance to observe and learn from the people around her because she's naive, and I'm not saying naive in a negative way, it's actually the standard that we should expect from young characters. Laura got to watch the people who cared about her well-being and figure out who she wanted to be from all of them. And we can't forget her dad because even though he was a cop, he was still present. He showed up for Laura, right? Like he wasn't just written as a character who was responsible for paying the bills and then like disappearing in the background like we see sometimes with other TV dads. I'm going to do a part two because there are more characters that I can think of outside of this show that are also to me considered a good girl, but just in a different way. But for this video, I am just focusing on Laura. But feel free to share your thoughts and opinions in the comments. And even though I described Laura as naive, it's not because she isn't smart. She just wasn't exposed to the things that force a kid to grow up too fast. Okay, shout out to my black girls don't get to be kids video because that's what I'm referencing when I say that Laura gave the girls smart and sheltered. She was fully capable, but she also got to be safe without the people around her trying to make her feel insecure. And then there's Steve Urkl, who was obsessive, over the top, and stayed in her face for years. And for years, Laura says no. And I wanted to point this out because it was so nice to see a black character who got the chance to establish a boundary without the show punishing her for saying no. It's crazy because we could get lessons on consent in the '9s that most shows still don't know how to write currently as I'm doing this video in 2026. And we could argue that as a viewer, it's not surprising that Laura would say no to Steve because he's super nerdy and awkward. But I don't 100% believe that's what it is.

[00:19:46]Laura never gave a not yet, you know, when she was saying no to Steve. And I know I might be part of the minority, but I like nerds. I could see the potential in Steve. But when we first saw Stefan, I would have given him a chance, too. And Laura does. But it still supports her overall archetype as a good girl because she gets the chance to see both versions and figure out in real time what she wants. When she does eventually choose in the final season, it's Steve and not Stefan. And I don't think it was out of pity, although I still think Steve and Myra should have been a thing. It was Laura choosing someone who showed up for her consistently over nine seasons. We as the viewer got a chance to see Laura figure out what she actually wanted and the things she valued in a relationship.

[00:20:38]And then we also got to see her make her own decision with the support of her friends and family. And also her style was just as amazing as Moisha's. With Laura, she gave us confidence. We still got to see all of the '9s staples that we saw in the show Moisha, but Laura's character just presented it differently, and not in a better or worse way, just in a way that this archetype does best.

[00:21:04]I feel like Moisha was bold and loud in the way that she carried the outfit she wore and it fit her. Laura was also intentional with how she carried her outfits and to me, it just reinforced how comfortable she was with herself.

[00:21:20]She gave I don't have to do too much, but you still know what it is. I love the way we got to see this archetype and how she dressed because oftentimes you hear the phrase good girl and you think it's boring or understated and that's not true. Even when Laura stepped out with her outfits like the ones I'm sharing on the screen, she was still confident. And I think a lot of that comes from the community that she had around her. And this is where Laura and Moisha are actually doing the same thing with how they express themselves with clothes. Even though their outfits look nothing alike, neither of these characters were dressing for anybody outside of their world. Moisha wasn't explaining her braids to a white audience. Laura wasn't dressing to be accepted in a room that might not accept her as she was. They were both just dressing like themselves in neighborhoods and households where that was enough. And I think that's what an all black world actually gave us. Both of these archetypes had the same message even though they were in different houses. They were given permission to just exist without an audience in mind.

[00:22:28]So far, we've talked about Moisha and her OG archetype of being the regular degular black girl on screen and Laura, the good girl next door, who got to be naive in the best way while also being trusted with her own boundaries. The last girl next door archetype that I'll be talking about in this video is Sister Sister featuring Tia Laundry and Tamara Campbell. And I'm calling this archetype the chaotic girl next door. And before you assume I mean that as an insult, I don't. I know the textbook definition of chaotic is messy or unstable. And that's also true, right? Like I'm not changing the actual definition, but for this video, I'm using chaotic in a positive way. Basically, a girl who's allowed to be in progress without having it all figured out. And the premise of this show tells us what kind of figuring it out we're dealing with. twins who were separated at birth who find each other by accident as teenagers and move in together. And I appreciate the way that the show splits them up mostly because it gave us as the viewer the chance to see ourselves as more than just one version of girlhood. We have Tia who is the book smart one. She's trying to get into Harvard. So she represented the type of ambition that many people see as the safe version of a smart black girl.

[00:23:49]Then there was Tamara who was more outgoing, less studious, but more of a charismatic character. And being able to see these characters or these personalities rather coexist was amazing because we didn't have to pick. For many black girls and teens watching, you were a little bit of both. And even though Tia and Tamira are introduced to us that way, we quickly learned that they were so much more than that. As I was researching, I found out that Tia and Tamara Maui have talked about fighting for more duality with the characters and casting directors would try to push them to be more sassy or have more attitude, but they pushed back and refused to get boxed into playing a stereotype. So, shout out to them for trying to give us more than maybe what others were trying to get from them. And we see this archetype, this chaotic good girl archetype. It was reflected in the girl's parents as well, which I appreciated. Ry and Lisa were not perfect, right? Like Rey was uptight, overprotective, and stubborn. And Lisa was considered the fun parent and was seen more as a friend than an authority figure sometimes. So neither of the parents had it together. But I really appreciated that because with this archetype, we still have the community aspect, but we have an example of community that doesn't have all the answers. Everybody was figuring it out as they went at different times in their own way. The parents and Tia and Tamira.

[00:25:22]So, I still consider Rey and Lisa to be a good example of stability. The parents were consistently present and they were willing to figure it out with the girls if they didn't have the answer. And I love that sometimes they didn't have the answer. We needed to see that type of representation as well. The stability they needed in Sister Sister was a safe space to not have it together and still be supported, which is what Moisha and Laura got as well. And I also love the fact that this show addressed actual issues. And maybe in another video we can look at that. I also like the fact that they wore their natural hair and they were known for wearing their hair on screen, whether it was natural or straightened. And yes, I know Tia and Tamara are mixed with a black mom and a white dad, but at the time it was a big deal to see a story and to see two twins be able to express themselves and look the way that they look on a major network. With this suburban black girl archetype, Moisha got permission to be ordinary. Laura got permission to hold boundaries and to learn. Thea and Tamara got permission to still figure it out together in a world that was completely unapologetically theirs. I will admit that I feel like my channel is starting to become like a nostalgic '9s and shows and like revisiting it. And I just think it's because the material was too good.

[00:26:51]Like it's it's hard to not want to go back and explore what we had. But what I hope you get from this series is that there is room for whatever version of black womanhood that you embody. None of the archetypes I talk about on this series outrank each other. And I hope that's not how it comes across. Ditzy, naive, chaotic, bubbly, unserious, ambitious. Whatever word we get to next, every single one deserves space. And you best believe I will always hold space for it all. And like I said earlier, if you didn't see yourself in these ladies, maybe you'll see her in the next one.

[00:27:27]Thank you for watching. I hope you enjoyed this video. I'll be doing part two soon because, you know, I left some suburban girls off and we need to talk about them. Thank you for watching. Bye.

[00:28:57]Yeah.

[00:29:10]Hey. Hey.

[00:31:16]Oh, love keeps lifting me higher.

[00:31:23]I made it.