Why I quit YouTube with 900,000 subscribers (the real reason)

Added: 2026-05-13

[00:00:02]My first YouTube video was in September the 27th, 2018. The come up was insane.

[00:00:07]We had our own TV show. We traveled the world. We made videos with the biggest creators on the platform. I was 25 years old and I was living the dream. But 2 and 1/2 years in at 900,000 subscribers.

[00:00:17]>> Yeah.

[00:00:18]>> Yeah. I'm I'm I am I'm leaving. I'm leaving YouTube for a bit. Uh I don't know what I'm doing. uh half a million people watched the video explaining why and I got hundreds of messages and I gave the best answer that I had at the time. But I've since spent 5 years figuring out what actually happened, reflecting on the lessons that I've learned and that is this video.

[00:00:39]To understand why I left, you have to really understand where it all started.

[00:00:42]So 10 years ago, it was me, my best friend from university. We bought an Olympic tracksuit and snuck onto the 2026 Olympic parade.

[00:00:50]>> Yeah. What did you win? So that was the Olympics that started defensing in the Olympics. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:00:55]>> Yeah. Was it a blogging Olympics? Was it?

[00:00:57]>> And that [ __ ] went viral.

[00:01:02]>> After that, we had the idea to set up a YouTube channel. At the time, I was running a different business that I really didn't want to leave. But finally, I moved to London with my life savings to set up the Zach and J Show.

[00:01:12]There was no plan B. The channel hadn't even been created. It just had to work.

[00:01:16]5 months in, we had this really strong start. We had unique videos. People were loving it. and we had 50,000 subscribers, but we just weren't paying the bills. We had two months of savings left. We were releasing videos every single week. I was looking at getting a bar job. Zach was looking at doing freelance editing. We were looking at anything to pay the bills until we had this one idea. I sent a text to Max Foch, who was an aspiring YouTuber of 1,500 subscribers at the time, and said, "Do you want to be in this video?"

[00:01:47]>> Got a text from James. [ __ ] what does he want? I went and met you guys and you pitched the idea. Then this happened >> behind the bag.

[00:01:55]>> Take your jacket.

[00:01:59]>> Max, what does the bag mean?

[00:02:01]>> That fashion week video took us from 50,000 subscribers to 200,000 in 6 weeks. And I remember having about £5,000 in savings, 2 months left, but then the next month we had 25K. People were finally noticing the creativity and the hard work that me and Zach were putting in. We got a call from a TV show. We signed with a world-class management company. We had a team of seven staff. The videos got bigger. The brand collaborations came in. And for the first time in my life, decent money was consistently being made. I was living the dream that I've been working hard for. I was traveling the world, creating big ideas, and getting paid for it. But as these videos took off, on the outside, something on the inside started to whisper.

[00:02:43]I was changing, but the version of myself on the camera wasn't. And the gap between them was getting wider with every video. What started as this creative version of myself, passionately living life, exploring the world, it started to feel like very fate.

[00:02:59]There was nowhere really to hide. In fact, there was 3 million people that was tuning into the channel every single month. And if I didn't film, if I didn't create this crazy idea, then I wouldn't be able to make any money. As success grew, I started to have more capacity where I could explore other areas of my life. And to be honest, when that opened up, I didn't really like what I saw or how I felt. I realized there was a lot of stuff that I hadn't really dealt with as a kid. When I was 16, my parents, they sat me down, me and my sister, and after 20 years marriage, they told me they were getting divorced. It was tough. There were tears and there was pain. And at that stage, I really felt as though I had to sort of be the man of the household and look after my family.

[00:03:41]And I never really processed any of those emotions. I sort of bottled it up and kept it moving forward.

[00:03:48]And and that is one of the reasons that business appealed to me. I could focus on all these exciting ideas of the future instead of looking at the present of where I was at. And for my entire adult life up to that period, I was ignoring these feelings. I was working hard and I was hoping like future based me would feel better. But after the channel blew up, future me had arrived and I still didn't feel very good. I felt trapped and I couldn't tell myself that the next milestone would feel great because the one that I just hit felt terrible. Each video got harder and harder to create and I found myself drinking more. I was invited to fancy influencer dinners with free drinks and drugs and uh at that period I really just started to lose myself even more. I was feeling numb with the videos and only really felt alive drinking, going out. I'd have all these allnighters and every time I'd wake up from a huge night, I'd just be like riddled with this anxiety. I stopped sleeping and uh had so much anxiety throughout the night that I ended up in hospital. And I think that's a story for a different day, but it got pretty bad. After this period, I really tried making videos again. I really tried to fall back in love with YouTube, but I just couldn't. I I couldn't enjoy it anymore. We we filmed a few more videos after that, but towards the end, I was just too depressed to work. I remember there was one time where I was planning this video and I literally just put my head on the desk and like fell asleep. I was I was like, "What what am I doing here?" Some people said to me like, "Jamie, you were so brave from walking away." But honestly, I don't think I could have stayed. I was weighing down Zach. I was weighing down everyone else on the channel. This video wasn't made for you to feel sorry for me, and I ended up in an amazing place. I I'll share what turned it around. But first, I'll share what happened next.

[00:05:36]I quit the channel, everything that I built. I bought a one-way ticket to Mexico. And originally, the plan was just to stay there for 2 months. But Christmas came around and I still had no idea what I wanted to do. I just knew that I didn't want to go back to Manchester, live my mom for the winter.

[00:05:52]So, I stayed.

[00:06:09]I tried different businesses. I even got a job that I quit after 3 weeks that I hated. I realized YouTube was this extremely strong position for me. I' I'd grown my own channel. The space itself was growing. My knowledge base that I'd acquired was very valuable, but it was also very perishable. So, I started sending DMs to entrepreneurs to help them grow. When I left YouTube, I really didn't think that I'd ever go back into the space. But as I started advising these entrepreneurs to help them grow, I fell back in love with the platform. One thing led to another. I started working with Dan Go, Simon Squib, Sackle Bloom, Sam Gord, Dan Martell's team, Will Brando in Dubai, Joe Hudson, Sean Kasam, the list goes on. They were all hiring me to help them grow. and I've now go on to build one of the world's leading YouTube growth consultancies for entrepreneurs. We've generated a billion views plus and millions of subscribers.

[00:06:57]This is why I love living in this time.

[00:06:59]This is why I've always loved YouTube.

[00:07:02]Anyone from anywhere can connect with anyone to build anything. We put that on a 100,000 subscriber special 7 years ago. And out of 300,000 years of existence, it is right now where it is most true. My career started with a fake Olympic tracksuit in Manchester. It started again with a Twitter DM in Mexico. That's how I got here. And here's what I learned from the dark period when leaving the channel that I wanted to share.

[00:07:29]One, the storm isn't as strong as it seems, and it passes faster than you know. In that moment, I felt the world would never be good for me. I felt like I'd never be happy again. And that was not the case. I'm now 31 and I see that there's more phases to life. So, if you're going through something, know that there's a stage around the corner that isn't as far as it seems. Two, money will intensify how you already feel inside. If you feel lost, insecure, anxious, money won't fill that hole. For me, it widened it. Nal's got this quote that if you aren't happy with a coffee, you aren't going to be happy with a yacht. I had more than I've ever had in my life, yet felt lowest I've ever felt.

[00:08:08]And I think this is a really refreshing frame on tough times because it means you don't need to change the situation.

[00:08:13]You need to change how you feel within it. Usually when you are the happiest, most energized version of yourself, you'll attract better opportunities that will actually change your situation.

[00:08:22]Three, human connection is underrated and invaluable. So I remember when I got to Mexico and there was this dude, this small guy, and he had this big dog and this bulldog and he greeted me every single day with Wendy Hovind. And he'd always say like that, like Wendy Hovind.

[00:08:37]And I remember it was after my YouTube consultancy business had already took off and had got these amazing clients making good money and this guy saying good morning young man in Spanish to me in the way that he did it with his big dog and his small dog. That was the highlight of my day. And so after that realizing how the power of human connection I started connecting with waiters more with receptionists and anyone really that I could connect with.

[00:09:01]And it's become a big part of my life just saying hello creating relationships. It feels nice. It's free and anyone watching this right now, I'd encourage you to do it and start right now. Four, what is the point of fear if the worst thing that you can't even imagine happens to you turns out to be the best? And I think this is the biggest point that I took away from this experience. I went to Mexico kind of in this desperation, but I ended up falling in love with the country and it changed my life forever.

[00:09:32]I'm now getting married to that girl. I set up a business that saw me travel the world. I go vivo in Portugal. Portuguese isn't quite good as the Spanish just yet. What is the point of worrying in general about future things if something is so bad that happens to you turns out to be the best thing that ever happens to you? So, those are my takeaways.

[00:09:53]What's next for me? I still love YouTube, but instead of being on the sidelines, which is where I've been, I want to be in the arena creating. I've been on the back end advising these entrepreneurs, these amazing businesses, and I still love doing it, but I miss impacting people myself for my own creation. We've just done the first 10 videos on the channel, and [ __ ] it feels rusty. It feels like I don't know the exact direction. Doesn't know exactly where we're going, but I do have this scent on the in my nose or this taste in my mouth that if we keep going and we keep the progress, we will do amazing amazing things. If you're a fan of the Zach and J show, I I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[00:10:32]Even though a lot of um this video has been based around the negative side of it and how low I felt at the end, I look back on those years and memories I built and it fills me with so much pride and gratitude. If you're young looking to do something cool yourself, I'd say you don't need to know the exact steps to get there. I'd say just get out there, you know, start creating. Action breeds clarity. You are living in the best time in history to build, create, connect.

[00:10:56]Why wait to take advantage of that? And finally, if you're watching this and you aren't in the best place mentally, I can't speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself. The storm wasn't as strong as it seemed, and it passed before I thought.