Trans-Gurus The Blessing of Living Authentically

Added: 2026-05-22

[00:00:00]We are the members of the rainbow tribe of our people with a powerful vibe on.

[00:00:13]Hi everybody. How is everybody doing?

[00:00:16]Welcome again to Transgurus.

[00:00:18]Um it's been an incredible thing really and lots of people. Unfortunately, lots of subscribers. Unfortunately, um Bonnie is not going to be here today.

[00:00:31]So, um with US five, we start with a theme called the blessing of living authentically. And I'm going to give it to Raj to start. Okay.

[00:00:42]>> Well, if you insist, I I would be remissed if I didn't mention the 1 million views.

[00:00:55]>> Oh my god. What a milestone. So, I was thinking about the topic this week and I was thinking, God, what what could we talk about?

[00:01:04]>> It's my turn, by the way. So, um I came up with the unexpected blessings of living authent authentically. And what I meant by that is, you know, this life being trans, it can be quite challenging. I've certainly been through some I'll just like that.

[00:01:26]>> But you know, I had someone ask me not too long ago, if you could have changed being trans, would you have changed that? And you know what? I had to say no because I can't imagine not being my authentic self and who I am in this life. So, as hard as it's been, you know, all the challenges, the judgment, the the beatdowns, all of it, I still said, "No, I I'd have to choose being who I am, and that's me being transgender this life." And then I started to think about, wow, it's been rough. I've had some tough times like like most of us. Um, but I've been so blessed and and and that's the amazing thing for me because I'm like, God, you know, the blessings that have flowed into my life, it's just amazing. And when I speak blessings, I'm not talking about like the huge miraculous ones. Those are wonderful, but even small blessings can be so wonderful and in the moment be so big. So, I always say, you know, the the small, the medium, the large, I'm thankful for all of the blessings. And um one of the things that I feel I've been blessed to do because of my journey is I've had the opportunity to inspire a hell of a lot of people in the world.

[00:03:05]And I don't take that for granted. That to me is such a blessing. And it humbles me when I think about it because the very thing that could have been my demise turned into many blessings and turn into the into the opportunity to do my activism on a broader scale to touch people not just LGBTQ people but all types of people around the world. And that's just to me that's just so wonderful when you can use your story.

[00:03:39]They there's a saying, make your mess your message when you can use your story to educate and to inspire people. And so that's one of like my big blessings that at the top of my head I can I can talk about right now and I'm just so grateful for it. But I I I I'll go ahead and open it up to the rest of you all. I'll send it back to Ella and um that's my take on the unexpect unexpected blessings of living authentically.

[00:04:14]>> Thank you so much for this nice very very nice words.

[00:04:20]>> Um Bobby your turn.

[00:04:22]>> I would love I love the topic and unexpected blessings.

[00:04:28]pretty much everything is unexpected including this show itself is an unexpected blessing and I wanted to just thank people we we went up to 177,000 subscribers and over a million views and that just uh astounds me and it tells me that our message is gaining momentum and just a plug when you subscribe or when you hit like or when you share it with somebody, those are all clicks that that register with YouTube and say, "Oh, maybe more people would enjoy seeing this, too."

[00:05:11]And so, if you haven't subscribed or liked it or shared it with somebody, today would be a good night to do that.

[00:05:20]But anyhow, when I think about unexpected blessings, it's oh my goodness, you know, I sometimes I think I'm a little naive because there's so much I didn't know I could hope for. I didn't know I could expect stuff. And the the thing is just uh maybe the biggest blessing for me was the blessing of no longer having to hide, you know, having to maintain a double life, you know, and I think I've mentioned I transitioned late in life and so I was doing a double life and oh my god, I think I confessed a few months ago that by the time I was 5 years old, I had become a serial real liar because every time I tried to talk about what was really going on with me, I got all kinds of trouble. And um and so uh the the peace of no longer having to hide, no longer having to maintain a double life, no longer having to now what did I tell them and what did I tell them and are they supposed to know about this or not? You know, it's oh my god, just the stress and the energy involved and you you know, you're just so diverted and diffused and and you feel like you can't make good progress in in any single area because you're kind of like trying to maintain two lives. So God, that was a huge blessing just the peace that came with that. And then the other thing I think about is just the blessing of ordinary peace, you know, just being able to en finally enjoy my life and breathe and relax and uh and be real and and be real and and you know, I'm not talking about all this fame and fortune and beauty and visibility and no, I'm not I'm talking about ordinary. I'm talking about catching lightning bugs, fireflies with my grandchildren. Going to the baseball games to watch my kid learn how to pitch. Uh uh you going to school plays.

[00:07:40]Oh, going up and down the sidewalks in German Town with with my daughter and say, "Oh, let's go in this bar for a while. Let's see if they got anything good to drink or let's go in this shop."

[00:07:49]and just, you know, being out and enjoying my family and just oh my god, catching lightning bugs with your grandchildren. Oh my god, I'm so glad that they've got that in their memory and and so the ordinary piece of that.

[00:08:08]And then I I think about the unexpected gift of truer relationships.

[00:08:18]I believe all of my relationships are better now. I believe they're all true because people who have chosen to stick with me, know how to relate to me now, and I know how to relate to them. And everything is true and honest, you know, I'm not not trying to hide anything or anything like that. And so truer relationships are inviting people to to to to become more deeply involved with you.

[00:08:49]And so I have like the best friends I've ever had. And uh and and then the other thing is the gift of becoming useful to others.

[00:09:02]And this is the thing that really really surprised me the most is you know for so much of my life I was afraid of who I who I am that you know that it's it's going to attract a lot of undesirable consequences. I was really paralyzed by fear and and and to realize that that's not true at all. is actually I'm becoming more and more useful. And the thing that really amazes me is like uh you know where I fear so much for safety. I'm I'm like on the board of trustees of of a psychiatric facility in the foster care system and I work really really hard with unwanted children trying to give them the safest world we can possibly envision with what we have to work with and and uh and how the city oh my god I still can't get over how my city the office for women recruited me to be an ambassador. I am a freaking ambassador for the city of Louisville because I I I I sense the needs of women and I see systems and I see the way that things can be moved and arranged and legislated to to move things. And so that's the thing that really kind of amazes me is that so much of what I feared in life has really turned into something that that makes me incredibly useful. I'm I'm I'm huge testifying in our general assembly. I'm very political. I'm on the board of directors of a human rights campaign and all of this stuff. It's just uh uh stuff that has come to me and and they're they're just unexpected blessings of becoming authentic and it's just stuff I never saw coming to be I never saw coming that I would be sharing an office with the mayor. Oh my god, I never saw that coming. But you know that kind of it's Anyhow, that's unexpected.

[00:11:18]So back to you, Ella.

[00:11:21]Wow, that's absolutely incredible words.

[00:11:26]Um, in that case, I'm going to give back to Misty. Is that all right?

[00:11:32]>> Thank you.

[00:11:33]>> But she is your I don't know what happened with uh with >> G.

[00:11:41]I am um in my car and my uh thing that holds my phone is also a charger and the charger and the zoom heated it up and my phone said too hot and it turned off and I apologize.

[00:11:59]So hopefully I >> talking about you. You're the one that's too hot, right?

[00:12:07]But hopefully I unplugged the battery so hopefully it will record. I did put it on the AC and hopefully we'll see. Well, I don't know. But the um the blessings of being authentic, anything in life worth having is worth working for.

[00:12:20]Period. Anything. You want a PhD, you got to do homework. Period. You want a master's degree, you got to do homework.

[00:12:28]Period. Anything worth having is worth working for. That being said, anything worth having is going to take work.

[00:12:35]Being authentic is also going to cost.

[00:12:38]It might cost your friendships. It might cost your family. It might cost other relationships and or neighbors and or loved ones. It might cost that. But you're going to gain so much more when you learn to live authentically and vibrate at a genuine frequency. You're going to gain peace of mind. You're going to gain belonging. And there's a big huge difference between fitting in and belonging. When you fit in, that means, oh, we all wear ponytails on Fridays. We all wear hoop earrings on Wednesdays, right? Fitting in is doing what is expected of you. Belonging means you belong. You don't have to wear your hair in a ponytail. You don't have to wear hoop earrings. You belong because you're you. And that's what you gain with authenticity. You gain true belonging. You gain peace of mind. You start to attract positive people into your life that want you for you, not the idea of you or not what you could potentially give them because you're performative.

[00:13:47]Yes, it might cost you relationships.

[00:13:51]Sure, but you're going to be less afraid. You're going to be more confident.

[00:13:59]You're going to expose people's biases.

[00:14:04]And the unexpected blessing of being authentic is you're going to now have an explanation for a lot of the pain that you did suffer in your per in your performative years when you were performing or trying to fit in. Now you get to reap the rewards of that makes sense. That's why that's why it was painful because I wasn't me. I was pretending to be a male for 30 years.

[00:14:29]And another unexpected blessing of being authentic is a deeper faith. A lot of people think that gaining your authenticity is going to cost your faith. That's not true. I am I have much more faith now because I am authentically me.

[00:14:47]And then my last blessing that I received from becoming authentic is I gained healthy boundaries.

[00:14:55]I am no longer performative and I no longer try to fit into that little box that or idea that you have that I am supposed to be. I no longer think that I'm not enough because I'm me. I might not fit into that box, but I'm I'm I'm me. And that boundary and that protection that I put around me, I'm less willing to negotiate in order to fit the standard that you expect me to fit so I could fit into your box so that we could be friends. Girl, please. I don't got no time for that. No. Bye, girl. We're good.

[00:15:30]Byebye.

[00:15:36]>> At the end of the day, you get a lot more blessings than you do.

[00:15:38]>> Oh, your card's ready.

[00:15:42]That is my husband, y'all.

[00:15:44]>> Hello.

[00:15:46]>> Are you trying to interrupt my Zoom?

[00:15:48]>> Oh, yeah.

[00:15:52]>> I'm so glad you're okay. I I heard what happened.

[00:15:57]>> What happened?

[00:15:58]>> The Air.

[00:16:00]>> This is all a live thing, by the way, baby. So, we're gonna keep this real short.

[00:16:05]>> I'm so happy.

[00:16:07]I'm so glad everything worked out.

[00:16:11]>> And we are uh a little plug for home in Honda. We're at home in Honda. But I'm going to get off here in a minute, babe.

[00:16:16]I'll meet you inside.

[00:16:17]>> We're done. Done.

[00:16:18]>> All right. I'm I I'm gonna mute and then I'm going to talk to you in a second.

[00:16:21]I'm not gonna hang up, though.

[00:16:23]>> Okay.

[00:16:23]>> Okay.

[00:16:26]>> Okie dokie. In that case, it's my turn now.

[00:16:29]>> Yes.

[00:16:30]>> I see that. Uh anyway, I really liked of what everybody said and uh I it's really incredible because I I do agree with I mean everything which has been said really but I just want to to tell a little bit about my my story because I mean you know um Misty was telling for 30 years she was trying to live as a man. Well, I was a little bit longer than that and u and that cost me a lot. And that cost me a lot because in a way I was not living my life.

[00:17:09]>> Why?

[00:17:11]>> I was following what other people expected me to do which is actually it's the worst thing you can do in your life. you you I mean you don't have a life you are constantly um adapting of course of you you do things you work for things you have you had your you know your good days you've got your bad days like everybody else but if you really look at it there is this kind of um I would say this thing in front of you in front of your eyes which makes you not being real. I did that by I was traveling a lot like I always done in my life and I always had my little girly bag. So, you know, to compensate for all the, let's put it this way, um, the showing off what I was not, I had my little moments every day, even when I was at home, where I was able to go back to myself to compensate, which was uh, always hidden and almost lost time hidden. So it was not very very healthy. Uh so with coming out and as what I am and taking the responsibility of my autensicity and responsibility of myself.

[00:18:51]Uh it was a very long and very strong act to change my life. And you know what? I feel blessed for it like nothing before. Hey, come on. I don't have to listen to what other people say anymore.

[00:19:08]They don't have to tell me you have to do this. You have to do that. He say, and I go and said, okay, that is your point of view. That's not mine. It really gave me a hell of a lot. And I really a hell of a lot of self-confidence.

[00:19:25]>> And I have to say something as well.

[00:19:27]I used to have this being afraid, these anger attack, not anger attacks, but afraid attacks of being found out.

[00:19:38]>> Mhm.

[00:19:39]>> That's gone.

[00:19:42]>> It's completely gone. And another plus too is that I have seen that most of the people they they are okay with me being the way I am.

[00:19:57]People which known for many many years and some of them go one stage further and say I actually respect you because you are authentic to yourself.

[00:20:12]>> Mhm.

[00:20:14]I even got um you know uh communications, emails, telephones and everything from many people I haven't seen for ages when they found out that they had transitioned.

[00:20:29]Not because they knew it, but because they were going, "Wow, you've done it and we are very glad that you did it."

[00:20:39]So, you know, everybody has got his own life. That's clear. And by the way, blessing for authenticity is not only for being a transgender person. It's for many, many, many other things.

[00:20:55]>> But whatever you are, be your authentic self. That's the only thing I can tell.

[00:21:02]>> Fantastic. Thank you for sharing.

[00:21:04]>> Yeah.

[00:21:04]>> Yeah.

[00:21:07]So um who wants to go next?

[00:21:10]>> I I just want to say this one common thread that I'm hearing with all of us is the freess.

[00:21:22]>> Yes.

[00:21:22]>> You know I think before we transitioned it was almost like we were living in a social prison.

[00:21:31]>> You know the prison that society put us in. you have to be this way. You can't be what you feel. And so I think that is like a just like an overall thread for all of us that the ble one of the major blessings is that we're free. We when you see us, anyone sees us, they're seeing our authentic self. We're not playing an act. We're not like, you know, putting on a facade. We are who we are. And I can tell you like as I walk through life again like you know the challenges but then I feel like wow there's a freedom like I don't feel stifled. I feel like I broke out of the social prison and I despite all the naysayers I was like hell no I'm not doing this. I can't do this. I cannot live up to the standard of what a man is supposed to be in society. I just can't do it. and this is me. And so that freedom that freedom is just it's a big blessing I think for all of us. Mhm.

[00:22:42]>> You know, I have to say lately, you know, it's there are in not not in in YouTube or in Instagram, but in Facebook, there are sometimes some comments which are not very nice. And um well, you know, it just means that and you know and one of the common content is that nobody's born transgender, >> right? And I really can believe that these people and by the way I think that the how shall I say the profile of these people which actually comment on is very similar.

[00:23:22]>> They're not wrong >> but they you know they have no idea what they're talking about really no idea what they're talking about.

[00:23:33]And I wonder very often if these people are really free.

[00:23:39]>> Yeah. No, no, they're not.

[00:23:41]>> Because if I look at their profiles, they have always a certain profile. And one of them is that they are afraid of people to make messages on their profile. So that means for me that these people are actually not really free.

[00:23:57]They actually are um they've really no idea what they're doing.

[00:24:02]Yeah. Oh boy.

[00:24:04]>> And unfortunately, many of us LGBTQIA+ people before we have the courage or the audacity to come out of the closet and to become authentically us, sometimes we resort to attacking each other. And I know for a fact in the '9s when I was going to a Christian college and I was a Christian minister and I was, you know, very very closeted. I wouldn't make fun of people, but I would definitely point out the queer kids I saw and be like, "Oh my god, look at her. She has I can't believe she's doing that." Like, and I would poke fun and or bring it. Don't look at me. I'm not the sinner. It's them. They're the ones. Because in my mind, think. So that's what I always think. When somebody says a comment about me on my social media, it says way more about them than it says about me.

[00:24:52]Girl, you could talk about me all day.

[00:24:55]It's not me.

[00:24:56]>> That is absolutely clear. Yeah. Well, oh, I'm so glad we wanted to talk about this because sometimes when I see a title of a show like trans gurus, I think people are going to tune in thinking, oh, this is where I come to be become spiritually superior or to live the perfect life or if I just manifest correctly, I'll have this perfect reality. And it's like, "Oh my god, if that's what this is, I'm in the wrong place." Because because No, it's really it's coming into alignment. It's It feels right. It feels like this is who I am. This is who I'm supposed to be. This is the life that has always felt right that has been trying to. And so it's it's like that alignment and that peace and that honesty come into play and that that emotional readiness to interact with people and to be available and things like that. And so it's not and and I would never want anybody to think that the message of trans gurus is that oh just transition and everything will be perfect or if you just adopt the right mindset you will manifest perfectly and it's like oh my god please not going to happen but but what happens is your life becomes inhabitable. It's sort of like when you uh discover an apartment or a home like that's been waiting for you and it's like, "Oh, I can live here. I can make this cute. I can make this nice. I'm going to enjoy this." And and that's sort of like it's a life that becomes inhabitable. And so all of your problems don't go away. Oh my god, they don't go away. But your problems become manageable. they come worth become worth solving because now you know you're honest, you're motivated and all of that stuff. And so I just uh uh you know there's no way my life is perfect, but oh my god, it's so rich. Oh, I can't believe it. Uh my it is rich beyond belief. And I just can't believe the relationships and the opportunities and the things I get to go out and do every day. It's like I just never saw that coming. And and so that's the the gift and the unexpected gift and the blessing I think of of being authentic. Boston titty.

[00:27:42]>> I just I just washed my mouth. I can't >> I titty.

[00:27:51]But no, I just I'm really grateful for my life and and I I just I'm sorry I waited so long to get to the good stuff.

[00:27:59]That's all.

[00:28:02]>> You have a good point though. You do have a very good point in that a lot of people look at us and think it's going to be so easy and it really really isn't. We all talked about the joys of being us and the authenticity and the reward and the blessings.

[00:28:17]>> But this transitioning was the hardest thing I ever did in my whole life. I I did it cost a lot. It cost a lot of family. I still have family that won't talk to me 25 years later. And there was a lot of cost involved. But if you are a transgender person, and by that I mean a human born with an assigned sex at birth and a brain of the opposite gender, the blessings way outweigh the cost and the hardship and the burden of being us.

[00:28:44]It's definitely not easy, but it's definitely worth it.

[00:28:47]>> Absolutely. Let's make a very fast round. Um Rajie, your last words. So my last words are that you can't talk about blessings without talking about gratitude. They go hand in hand. It's like white on rice. And I believe that the way we keep our blessings going is that no matter how big the blessing, small, medium, or large, you must express gratitude for it. Because when you can appreciate what you're receiving, believe me, the universe will open up and you'll be receiving more.

[00:29:27]So, it it it goes hand in hand, y'all.

[00:29:30]It it's the blessings, but with the blessings, you must have gratitude.

[00:29:36]>> That's right.

[00:29:38]>> Bobby.

[00:29:39]>> Oh, yeah. The universe isn't on a budget. That's right.

[00:29:44]And you know, and it's okay to dream big. That's the thing that just really amazes me. And uh and the fear. I just hate how infested our culture and our society is with fear and the fear to be authentic.

[00:30:04]And it's like, oh my gosh, where did that evil come from?

[00:30:10]>> You should be afraid to be real. Oh my.

[00:30:14]It's like we are so much better than that. We are so beyond that. And it's like now is the time to wake up.

[00:30:23]It's a great awakening going on. And thank you for subscribing and sharing and clicking on like and all that stuff too. Thank you, >> Miss Misty.

[00:30:36]>> Yeah. So my final thoughts are um kind of also about visibility. When we have the courage to be authentic and we have the courage to be authentic and visible out in the world living our lives, it helps to give other people courage to be themsel as well. And it's not just other trans people and it's not just other queer people. It's other people struggling with marginalization. I can't tell you how many people have come to me and be like, "You give me such hope."

[00:31:04]And I'm like, "What do you mean?" And they're like because if if you can be you, I can be me. Even if it's not even related to anything that I'm doing. And people be like, >> you did it and I can do this. You have the courage to be that I can be this.

[00:31:20]And that's that's truly probably like Rajie said, our visibility and the amount of people that have said to our faces, you inspire me. That is the unexpected blessing of being authentic.

[00:31:34]you had the audacity and the courage to be you. Maybe I can do this thing over here that's less scary but still needed and and the the risk is always worth the reward when you're being authentic.

[00:31:49]>> Yeah.

[00:31:51]>> I'm so glad you said that. I'm just so glad you said that, Misty, because um I am so thrilled by all of the women that come up to me like women of color who've decided to become entrepreneurs and they said, you know, I got over that fear.

[00:32:08]You know, you you inspired me to look into this and I did it and I just >> Yeah, I know. And and your or menopausal women. Oh my god, I have so many great conversations with them and they've had this view of their body that was inherited. Somebody taught them that to look at your body like this when you get to be 50 years old. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no, don't do that. And you're exactly right. And there there's women in their 50s that are becoming empowered and glorious and doing all kinds of great things and they're straight as they can be. You know, they're not trans. But but you're right.

[00:32:49]I'm glad you said that.

[00:32:50]>> Okay, with those words, thank you for watching, Trans Gurus, and try to be authentic. Bye everybody.

[00:33:00]Bye everybody.