Cut Off - A Comedy Short Film

Added: 2026-05-16

[00:00:02][music] >> Color really suits you. You look radiant. Thank you. You should wear it more I just found it in the back of my closet. It was all wrinkled and it didn't fit for a bris. This is the right color.

[00:00:13]>> But, let's get to the real topic.

[00:00:16]Seven years, no ring.

[00:00:19]What do they think they are? Jewish Oprah and Stedman?

[00:00:22]>> [laughter] >> You know, Lisa said Adam's proposing to Sof when his residency ends.

[00:00:28]>> I'll believe it when I see it. She's 28.

[00:00:31]Her good years are behind her.

[00:00:33]I feel bad for Sof.

[00:00:35]I feel bad for Lisa.

[00:00:39]Oh, she is quite content you like the food. It's delicious. Thank you.

[00:00:43]Excellent. Very good shopping. You're welcome. You're late. Do I need to buy you a watch?

[00:00:50]And a brush? Where's Adam? So, funny story about Adam.

[00:00:54]>> the cater waiters? Excuse me. Sof.

[00:00:57]Get in here.

[00:01:05]I can't have you screw today up. I know Adam won't. Yeah, I doubt that. Adam or the bris? The kavadars. That's you and Adam. We'll take the baby from your sister together and carry him together and place him carefully together.

[00:01:21]>> I just take the lead on this solo? Just in case Adam can't come for some reason, maybe possibly definitely. No, why wouldn't he come? Is he in surgery?

[00:01:31]It better be non-invasive because you are both welcoming your nephew into the Jewish faith today in front of the whole community. Actually, I have something to tell you, but it's not even a big deal like at all. So, Adam proposed.

[00:01:42][laughter] I knew you were hiding something from me. Congratulations.

[00:01:47]Mazel. Where is he? He's not coming.

[00:01:50]What?

[00:01:52]Why wouldn't he come?

[00:01:53]Is he mad cuz I sent him my wedding Pinterest board cuz it was just about colors, and obviously, it's his wedding, too. My god, we broke up.

[00:02:01]What did you do? What? What did I We grew up.

[00:02:06]Can't he come for a few minutes? What?

[00:02:09]No. We broke up. But we need a childless couple to escort the baby. It's a blessing. It's tradition.

[00:02:15]>> Yeah, tradition from like 5,000 years ago before consent was invented.

[00:02:27]Is this your way of trying to tell me you got a tattoo?

[00:02:30]Did you Did you get a tattoo?

[00:02:33]No. What's everyone going to think when you're standing up there alone?

[00:02:36]>> They already think I'm a floozy cuz I don't wear a bra.

[00:02:39]You're not wearing a bra?

[00:02:42]Well, they're fantastic. You get that from me. All right, tits, grab that, let's go.

[00:02:47]>> Mom.

[00:02:50]Hey, shut the lock the door.

[00:02:53]It's freezing in here.

[00:02:55]I'm getting in.

[00:02:56]I've accepted that you don't want to be happy. I'm fine. But she will not be.

[00:03:01]Your Nana is from a different time. This news would kill her, and I do not have time to deal with that today.

[00:03:06]>> I think you're overreacting. Really?

[00:03:09]Huh. Must I remind you of the gold bar bar mitzvah fiasco of 2009? Yeah, I got that awesome spray painted hat. And I got dressed your Nana to the hospital with heart palpitations because cousin Shelly showed up alone.

[00:03:21]>> It was indigestion from the pigs in a blanket. So they say. Excuse me. Lisa.

[00:03:26]Little help.

[00:03:27]Really? Do I have to do everything for you?

[00:03:31]I think Lisa looks great.

[00:03:32]>> She does not look great. She looks great. She does not. She's thin.

[00:03:37]Yeah, I think she's thin. Yeah, she looks good. She's too thin, I think.

[00:03:41]A little too thin. She's too thin. But she could use a little more padding.

[00:03:44]I think she looks great.

[00:03:45]>> Women at a certain age, they try to get thinner and thinner. Yeah, and then the face the face goes goes down. It just goes down. Yeah.

[00:03:52]>> [clears throat] >> We're not going to tell Nana that Adam broke up with you. We can deal with that.

[00:03:56]>> [laughter] >> Later. Right now, we just need to find a stand-in Adam, and well, thanks to Nana's cataracts, it could be anyone.

[00:04:03][laughter] So, There you go. These are great. Enjoy.

[00:04:10]So long as he's not married, can smile for pictures, and didn't go to Cornell.

[00:04:14]It's not a real Ivy. That just leaves Uncle Barry.

[00:04:17]No relatives. So creepy. But, if you meet your future husband while you're at it, muscle. So, you want me to lie to Nana? You used to do theater. Act. I'll go find someone, unless you want to kill your grandmother. Ma! Ma! No pigs in a blanket. Get it from her. What did I tell you about that? You didn't wash your hands, did you?

[00:04:36]Mama, I love you. No piggies. There we go. Go wash your hands.

[00:04:44]>> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [singing] [music] [music] [music] [singing] [music] >> Time's ticking, just like your Nana's time on Earth. Tick tock. Tick tock.

[00:05:59]So, who's got the door?

[00:06:04]>> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> This brisket's a bust. I think this brisket's a banger. There's six types of smoked fish.

[00:06:46]Actually, seven. I picked them out, so.

[00:06:49]A woman who knows her way around a deli counter. I like it.

[00:06:54]You like that, you should see me at a Costco. Oh, you're a card-carrying Costco member. Nice flex.

[00:07:03]>> [laughter] >> I don't know what you're doing later, but I think I have front row tickets to the main event. I think I do, too.

[00:07:13]I'm sitting with [music] David and Alana.

[00:07:16]Hi, David and Alana.

[00:07:20]Good one.

[00:07:21]What?

[00:07:22]So, if it's me, Aaron, huh? Your great aunt Lenora is my dad's mom's mom, which makes us >> [laughter] >> cousins. Isn't that so funny?

[00:07:34]So funny. It's been like 10 years. I mean, I've grown a lot. Sprouted. My mom says blossom, but I like it. Whatever.

[00:07:40]Okay, bye.

[00:07:46]>> [music] >> Hacky.

[00:07:52]Ew.

[00:07:55]5'7, uh-uh.

[00:08:05]>> [music] >> In the book of Genesis, God commanded Abraham to circumcise himself and his offspring uh to signify the covenant between God and the Jewish people.

[00:08:26]Uh will the honored cavaders, Sophie and Adam, please bring the baby in?

[00:08:32]Sorry. Not the baby.

[00:08:34]>> [laughter] >> Just my phone.

[00:08:36]Take him.

[00:08:38]Don't drop him.

[00:08:40]Today, Noah officially becomes a member of the Jewish people.

[00:08:47]You're so lucky. All you have to do is lay here and everyone's obsessed with you.

[00:08:51]You want to make a run for it?

[00:08:54]Uh will the honored couple, Sophie and Adam, please please bring the baby to the front?

[00:08:59]Looks like you're on the chopping block.

[00:09:01]>> [laughter] >> Please don't fall.

[00:09:03]Hello. Hello. Creepy cousin, hello.

[00:09:06]Hello.

[00:09:10]Got the baby. Where where's the other cavader?

[00:09:13]Yeah.

[00:09:14]Where is the other cavader?

[00:09:20]Well, you see, Adam Adam died.

[00:09:26]He What? Oh, man, I loved that guy. He looked at my bunions for free. Mine, too.

[00:09:33]You see, no ring.

[00:09:36]I was right. What happened?

[00:09:44]No!

[00:09:46]No!

[00:09:47]It was raining. It was a Tuesday and it was slippery and it was raining.

[00:09:54]And it was so dark out and IT WAS LIKE BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE. He was dying.

[00:10:01][screaming] He was on the ground.

[00:10:02]He was on the pavement. The pavement had [crying] like a fire or something. And I was like, "Get up. Get up. Get up." He wouldn't get up and it was scary, okay?

[00:10:12]Like he was dying.

[00:10:14]I WAS SCARED.

[00:10:16]I WAS SO SCARED NOW.

[00:10:21]Swore I saw him this morning running track. Crying.

[00:10:25]A lot.

[00:10:25]>> Sit down, Greg. You're gross. I saw what you did to that bagel. Really? I paid for all those acting classes at JCC for this.

[00:10:35]You know I'll tell you the truth.

[00:10:37]Nana?

[00:10:39]Mom?

[00:10:40]People I don't know enjoying the egg salad I made.

[00:10:42]>> I didn't enjoy it. It was not good.

[00:10:46]I'm single. Yes, because Adam has died and none of us will ever be whole again.

[00:10:51]>> No, Stevie. Adam is alive and well.

[00:10:54]He's only dead to me. Sit down.

[00:10:59]I dumped him. How could you do this to me? Because I feel like I'm living his life. Following his dreams.

[00:11:08]I don't want to be an appendage of someone. I want to be me.

[00:11:24]And he's a D. Oh. Oh.

[00:11:27]If I didn't say so And I don't wear bras.

[00:11:32]She gets that from me.

[00:11:37]Yeah.

[00:11:42]Mazel.

[00:11:44]>> [applause and cheering] >> Yeah, but women they expose so much these days. There's no mystery. Look at the short, the skirt. You can see right up her [ __ ] there. There's nothing left to the imagination.

[00:11:52]>> I know.

[00:11:53]>> It's all right. It's amazing. It's right out in the open. Right out in the open.

[00:11:57]It's amazing.

[00:11:58]So let's talk about the baby. Yeah, let's. I think the baby is a I think it's a What do they call it when it's not good-looking in Jewish? Oh, a nebbish. A nebbish. Oh god, I'm so impressed with you. Give it a month or two. It may take form. [music] It may take a little more like a year or [laughter] two.

[00:12:15]A little bit more time.

[00:12:15]>> Looks like Looks like the the father. You think of the mother? I don't know. To me, it's just amorphous right now. Yeah, it's like a blob. Is that the most gorgeous grandchild?

[00:12:27]>> Oh, I mean, I think Beautiful. Beautiful grandchild I've ever Beautiful. Like Perfect. I know everybody thinks theirs is perfect, but That is perfect. Perfect. Mazel tov on this growing family.

[00:12:43]>> [music]