12 Embarrassing Signs of Perimenopause After 40 that no one is talking about (Nurse Edition!)

[00:00:00]In this video, I'm going to talk about 12 strange signs of perimenopause that no one warned you about. Girl, perimenopause is not just hot flashes and your period disappearing. Sometimes it looks like waking up at 3:17 in the morning [laughter] with your eyes wide open and your brain discussing every mistake you have made since 2007.

[00:00:22]Sometimes it's smelling yourself and thinking, "What is that? Is that really me?" But, the saddest part is you want to feel desired. You want to feel like a piece of chocolate standing next to your man.

[00:00:35]That's what one woman said to me. You want your juicy Lucy to come back. Drip, drip, if you know what I mean. 12 strange signs of perimenopause that women are rarely warned about. In fact, these are just vague symptoms that if you take to your healthcare provider, they might say, "Mhm, your numbers look fine. Your labs are normal." And all people are too embarrassed to talk about these things. So, at the end, I'm going to give you two bonus truths every woman over 35 needs to know. Now, on this channel, I teach women how to support their bodies naturally. I've been a nurse for over 15 years. There's an old saying that says, "Let food be thy medicine." And because the biggest question I get asked is, "Hey, what can I eat? What should I eat?" And honestly, eating has been made very complicated.

[00:01:23]So, I've made you a gift, my 101 hormone-friendly foods, so you can glow again. So, you can stop guessing. Grab your gift below. Sign number one is that your period starts acting brand new.

[00:01:36]Girl, I cannot tell you how many women I've talked to that are like, "Hey, I just had my period 2 weeks ago. Why is it so heavy?" It just does whatever it wants.

[00:01:46]It comes early, then it comes late, then it spots, then you have clumps and lumps, then the next month it just acts like it's collecting a debt from you.

[00:01:54]Perimenopause is literally the transition leading up to menopause and these days it's starting a lot too soon for women. So many things are happening to cause your body to go a little earlier with the menopause. And these are things like your stress levels, your diet, some medications, the pill. And if any of these symptoms hit you, please let me know in the comments. Of course, I will look for the most popular one and make a video on that. The second sign of perimenopause is stealing women's personalities in broad daylight.

[00:02:23]Eyes open between 2:00 and 4:00 a.m. You just went to sleep and it was fine. You were tired. You put your head down. You were thankful to finally be in bed, but at 3:00 a.m., boom! It's gone. And you feel energetic. Your eyes are open. Your body is awake. Your mind is activated.

[00:02:42]Those list of to-do things, the conversations you you should've had before bed.

[00:02:49]All the arguments are cycling in your head again. And now your body wants to talk about the bills, the children, the marriage, the laundry. And you just want to get some rest because you going to wake up in the morning and the cycle is going to continue. Now you're going to wake up tired. You're going to need coffee. Start to feed into anxiety and depression. It really is a vicious cycle. Now, sign number three is that your shock absorbers disappear. What do I mean by that? Do you remember when things could happen to you and you let them slide? Someone says something and you're just like, "Shh."

[00:03:25]They're not bothering me today. Not today, Satan. Or somebody cuts you off and you just let them drive. You're not about to risk your life. Somebody says something at work. A husband says something. A child disrespects you and you're like, "Aw, they're going through their teenage years." And you had so much grace for others, for yourself. And now it seems like all of that is gone.

[00:03:49]Everybody and everything is irritating and agitating and anxiety is on the rise and mom anger and the just rage that comes out of nowhere and you're like, "I'm not even this person. What happened to me?" Oh, and don't let a 2-year-old come in your way and spill something and then 10 minutes later you're crying because you love everybody. So, what's happening? Why you being like this? It's like being in that first trimester or PMS. Emotions are real. The past trauma surfacing, that's real. But, the intensity may be getting turned up by hormone changes and poor sleep. I like to think of it like an old car that's aging out and then the shock absorbers don't work as well anymore. So, if you hit a pebble or something, you really feel it. Don't come near a ditch. Don't drive in Michigan because the roads are really bad and you feel every bump and every crevice in the road. That's not you being crazy. That's your hormones.

[00:04:54]And when you learn to listen to your body, you will know exactly what to give it to get it to be smooth again. I just want to encourage you because your body was not made to fail after 40. God did not create this beautiful woman and go, "Oops.

[00:05:11]I didn't expect that you'd turn 40 and everything would go wrong." That didn't happen, sis. But, our lives have what are called hormone disruptors these days. There's so many things just pushing at us, but you can get them in balance again. Sign number four is something that is so bothersome and this happened to me, too. Nobody likes to talk about this one because it's hard. You shower, you put on your deodorant, you might even put on a, you know, smell good you and then 45 minutes 2 hours later you're like, "What is that?" And you know it's you and now you're at work and maybe it's your underarms, maybe it's your girly parts, your groin, it smells different.

[00:05:58]Everything on you and around you just has this smell that is not you. And so it's hard to take in because you know other people can smell it, too. Some women are familiar with it because during postpartum season a lot of that smell sometimes came off. So here's the thing, because the smell is not a medical diagnosis, when you go to someone and you're like, "Hey, you know, I've just noticed that I smell different." They're like, "Oh, okay, you can use this clinical-grade deodorant."

[00:06:30]You're like, "No, no, no, there's something else, there's something else."

[00:06:34]That plus all these other symptoms is really what's happening to my body. And you know what? You are right. No one is talking about this, so I'm saying it, okay? Yes, girl, your scent may change and you're not dirty. Write down all your crazy symptoms that you think are just happening to you, put them all down on paper and see what may be going on with your body. Symptom number five, words leave your head. Do you know how many women have opted out of opportunities to scale in their companies or be on stage or present something or be promoted because they're like, "I my brain, my words, you know, I may be saying something and I don't want to be embarrassed when words don't come out when they should." It's like you can see the thing, you know the word, you used to have so many words for that same word and now suddenly you're like, "Uh, can you put the food in the thingy um in the uh cold food cabinet?" And your kid is like, "You mean the fridge?" You're like, "Yeah, that." Or you walk into the room and you just stand there and you're looking around like, "Why am I here? Um, I came here to and then you do this one crazy thing where you walk out of the room and then you come back in cuz you're like, maybe I'll remember why I'm here. But girl, you are still smart.

[00:07:54]It's not over for you. In fact, the crazy thing is now at this age, you you know more. You're so much wiser. Some of those foolish mistakes we made when we're younger, we don't do that anymore, but we learn from it. So your brain is not gone. It's just richer. It is so much more powerful. This is your season to bloom. I speak to a lot of women that are like, I feel a calling on my life. I feel like I should start a business. I should I feel I feel but then these things hold them back. It's not just about the symptoms. It's about who you are. Who you are reclaiming.

[00:08:31]It's not over. Hormones are like dominoes, okay? One falls, the others fall.

[00:08:40]But guess what? You can pick them back up one at a time. I'm thinking about doing a challenge. You come and for three to five days, I don't know the length really, and we do the things that help you pick those dominoes back up so that in that first week you start to feel shifts. It's just a thought.

[00:09:03]If it tickles your fancy, put it in the comments below and then, you know, we'll start working on it. Number six, I Number six is that your heart starts doing little flips. So you may be sitting down minding your own business and then thump boom boom boom boom and your heart starts racing and then it pauses and you're like, this is it. This is it.

[00:09:28]Tell my children I love them. Some women notice a rapid heart rate, sometimes it comes with anxiety or hot flashes. This is not something you want to automatically write off and be like, "Oh, that's perimenopause." So, sometimes it actually just comes as part of blood pressure changes.

[00:09:47]Here's where the nurse in me pops up.

[00:09:49]Heart disease is still one of the highest killers of women in America. So, I don't want you to just write things off that happen within your chest, within your high blood pressure, and whatever heart issues you're having, don't just write it off as change. This is the part where you have to pay attention, and this is the cost that sometimes that I'm often trying to show women that, "Hey, you know, what may start as just regular mood disorders or gut issues or whatever, right? If you don't deal with the problem, it's like having flooding in your basement and you don't do anything about it.

[00:10:32]Very soon it's going to be hundreds of thousands of dollars and mold and pulling stuff out and replacing everything from the foundation up. Why?

[00:10:42]Because when there was a problem, we just ignored it. Listen to your body.

[00:10:47]It's telling you something. What is it saying? Okay, I don't want to scare you, that's why I'm talking kind of light cuz I don't want it to be a panic moment, but I also want to make it a reality.

[00:10:59]Now, this next symptom can make a woman feel 85 when she's only 43. Sign number seven, your joints and muscles start complaining. When you wake up and you're stiff, your feet hurt when they touch the floor, your shoulders are angry for reasons only known to your shoulders, and you're having to stretch your waist, your fingers feel tight, your back, your lower back is like, "Hey, do you remember that thing you did when you were 12?" And this is not specific to perimenopause, but it can be one of those things that just starts happening.

[00:11:35]Sometimes it's called frozen shoulders.

[00:11:37]But, this is one of those things that's like the entry fee for a lot of women turning 40.

[00:11:43]Hey, do you remember when they said 40 is the new 20? My sisters and I had a group and we called it sexy 40 because we're like, "Ooh, when we get to 40, we're just going to be so snatched and so sexy." I read this one woman's um brain fog. I read this one woman's Facebook post that was a prayer to God and she said, "God, please help us get hotter as we get older. Amen." And I'm like, "Amen.

[00:12:10]>> [laughter] >> Amen." Because women have forgotten that they can be saved and sexy at the same time. After 40 does not mean you have to like be drab and like ooh live your worst life. No, 40 can be the new 20, but we have to nurture our bodies differently. We've got a bigger old panties on and we are serious now. Sign number eight.

[00:12:36]This is just the worst one according to me. Your hair starts leaving your head and moving down to your chin and over here and your scalp becomes thinner, your texture changes and your chest gets hairier and your tummy gets hairier and one day you start to see a coarse hair and then then this coarse hair, you know, you start to call him Gerald and then he invites his cousin and then his auntie and then the whole neighborhood moves in to your chin. Hormone changes can affect hair and skin and I just did a video about chin hair over here. You can check it out and I've got others on my channel on how you can start to walk your chin hair off your chin.

[00:13:24]So, this is happening because of hormone shifts, androgen activity. Things like PCOS can actually be connected to androgen increase, which is connected a lot of times to insulin ups and downs with insulin. There are studies that have shown women changing their life, changing their symptoms, changing their bodies. I'm telling you about the studies because I want you to have hope. These changes knock off women's confidence. We just want our glow back. And I have a symptom checklist for you with over 50 symptoms of hormone imbalance that most people don't even tell you are connected to your hormone imbalance. And it's a free gift for you right in the description below so you can see just how loud your body is screaming for help. And listen, please listen. Number nine, your body shape starts to change. As if just the body shape is not enough and the scale going up and and and your midsection just like not going anywhere and you're looking more pregnant than when you were pregnant. As if that's not enough, your face sometimes starts to have structural shifts and you're like, "What is this over here? Like, I don't even look like myself anymore."

[00:14:44]Sometimes it's linked to inflammation.

[00:14:47]You're like, "I weigh more than what I weighed when there was an actual human being inside of me and my habits haven't changed." We need to help you and nurture you so that you can be light and free again, so you can run with your children again, so you can not feel afraid when you think of the years ahead, so you can be there to hold that grandchild again. That's what we want out of our life, the legacy of health.

[00:15:14]Sign number [clears throat] 10.

[00:15:18]Juicy Lucy goes dry. Yes, girl. Grown-up woman conversation. Are you ready? You love your husband?

[00:15:27]>> [clears throat] >> You may even find him attractive.

[00:15:30]He comes close and your body is like tense. No. But you're like, "Oh no, I've said no too many days in a row and you're dry." And intimacy may become uncomfortable and painful. Your desire may be low. You used to initiate. You just don't want to do the happy happy wham bam pow >> [cheering] >> pow anymore.

[00:15:52]Now, if you get it done, you're like, "Turn all the lights off. Bring the lubricant.

[00:15:59]Something. Are you done?" Like Girl, we can be rude sometimes, okay? We can be rude. Sadly, we don't actually have that conversation with him a lot of the times because honestly, it's like, "How? How do you start? How do you start?" You want to feel feminine. You want to feel flirty. You want to feel attractive. You want to feel welcoming.

[00:16:19]Meanwhile, coconut oil. Okay, coconut oil. You're welcome. Wink. You're welcome. Okay, sign number 11, girl.

[00:16:26]Your bladder becomes bossy. What? When you need to go, you need to go and you need to go right now. Otherwise, I'm going to leak on you. Uh-oh, you sneeze when you jump when you laugh. You may get more UTIs, urinary tract infections.

[00:16:40]You may have to go to the bathroom two, three times before you leave the house now because you hate public bathrooms like me. These are things that are real.

[00:16:50]You're not making it up. There pelvic floor exercises you can do to strengthen your bladder. There things you can do.

[00:16:59]It's not the end. Number 12, your whole body starts complaining. Your digestion changes. You'll feel bloated. You feel constipated. You have diarrhea. Then you're gassy. Foods that never bothered you, now you can't seem to tolerate.

[00:17:14]Your skin is drier. Your energy is flat.

[00:17:16]Your patience is gone. What is patience anyway? These symptoms can come like a bucket is being poured on you. Sometimes you have just one The thing is we're all different. So, every woman has different combinations of symptoms, different predominant ones like the major one can be different, but it can just be your hormones changing. The point is to stop pretending that your body is just unrelated parts. Your sleep affects your mood, which affects your food, which affects your energy, which affects your sleep, and round and round it goes because your body's having a conversation with itself. Bonus number one. Bonus number one. Girl, listen. Bonus number one. I hope you find this a bonus. I know some women do.

[00:17:59]You can still get pregnant.

[00:18:01]>> [clears throat] >> Your ovulation has not completely stopped.

[00:18:05]So, again, to someone this is a bonus, to someone this is a nightmare. I know.

[00:18:11]It is what it is. Take it for what it is. Don't assume. I did. I had a baby at 40, okay?

[00:18:18]Bonus number two. Bleeding after menopause is not your period returning necessarily.

[00:18:25]Uh sometimes the bleeding can come back, and you can get that checked, but it deserves your attention. It's not something to fear, but it's definitely something that can happen. So, I hope you have your food guide by now, and I hope you have your kit if you want the step-by-step frameworks to doing this for yourself. The real cost of is not the hot flashes or the chin hairs or the belly fat or any of those things. The real cost is the woman who stops getting into the family pictures, the woman who stops wanting to be touched, who has no energy to play with her children anymore, who does not do her business or her ministry idea or calling because she feels like she doesn't deserve it or she doesn't fit or people don't want to see her. She feels badly about herself. I know that feeling, but you're still in there, girl. You're still in there and I want you to start winning today. Get the guide, implement one thing, just one, and I'm going to see you in the next video where we're going to talk about one of your biggest thieves of sleep, why your eyes keep opening at 3:00 a.m.

[00:19:41]in the morning because exhaustion has been impersonating your personality for too long. All right, I'll see you in the next video, girl. Bye.