The Alters with a Therapist: Part 2

Added: 2026-05-20

[00:00:00]What's up, YouTube?

[00:00:03]Welcome to part two of the altars with a therapist where we are about to do some crazy stuff.

[00:00:11]You can do some crazy stuff, too. Like, leave a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel, and leave a comment down below, as well as checking out my other playthroughs.

[00:00:21]Yandolski, our child of an alcoholic turned alcoholic turned working man.

[00:00:30]apparently must clone himself using the quantum computer. We're going to see how that goes. Pretty wild. Initiate branching procedure in the QC.

[00:00:44]What do you think, Molly?

[00:00:59]Branching procedure authorization check.

[00:01:02]Branching MR unlocked. Branching procedure initiated.

[00:01:06]Come on, guys. Really? You're going to do this now? We had a whole chatting.

[00:01:10]What? Analyzing life. What is it doing?

[00:01:14]Searching for the branching point.

[00:01:20]>> Possible branching detector.

[00:01:23]>> I remember that. Ultimate life path.

[00:01:26]calculating ultimate life path.

[00:01:28]>> So this is what the branching is about.

[00:01:40]So instead of going away, what happens if you stayed behind?

[00:01:45]Promise yourself you get out of here, you have to keep that promise. You can't waste your life. It's not something she'd want. And you can still visit her a little less often maybe, but you can.

[00:01:52]You will visit her. Staying behind at 19 years old, you locked the door to your room and turned the music up. You're so fed up with his constant shouting. Is this what you rejected college for, putting up with his frustration and drunkenness? You told yourself you'd take care of mom, but he's not making it easy.

[00:02:11]Maybe next time you should just lock the door on him. But what would mom say?

[00:02:18]Wait, so is this about to like produce an entirely different person based on if I had made that decision instead?

[00:02:41]Heat. Heat.

[00:03:14]Heat. Heat.

[00:04:13]No way.

[00:04:16]Oh my god. If we get to read a [ __ ] ton of these, I'm going to love it. Oh my god.

[00:04:24]Oh, this is so awesome.

[00:04:28]Okay.

[00:04:30]All right. So, if we stayed behind.

[00:04:36]Oh, wow. Oh my god. This is making my developmental affinity brain go nuts.

[00:04:48]Standing up to him.

[00:04:51]There. You did it. Not so hard after all. He turned out to be weak. Begging you to let him in. You had to be strong, assertive. You read about it online.

[00:05:00]Shut your ears to his false promises.

[00:05:02]Imagine loud music in your head. Think of mom, her safety. There, it's done. He won't be a problem anymore. Wow. So, he kicked him out.

[00:05:11]Uh, by the way, just as a little public service announcement here, this is not always true. There's a bit of a over representation I think of the idea that somebody who's an abuser is really just a weak insecure person that can be pushed over if you just fight back. That is not always true. Uh there are times where people will try to fight back and they are s like severely harmed or even killed.

[00:05:40]So do not indulge the assumption that just because somebody is in a situation like this, all they have to do is just stand up to the bully. Uh that is not always true. Sometimes you have to slip out the back uh or find some muscle in the form of a system that you can connect with that can empower you to get out. Uh it's not always this simple. Now that's not to say in this case it was true and sometimes it is. Sometimes we are talking about somebody whose bark is significantly bigger than their bite.

[00:06:13]Where his dad is really just up in his own head about [ __ ] takes it out on everybody and when somebody he perceives to be more powerful than him takes over, he wilts maybe in the same way he did when his father did that to him. So this disruption in the pattern uh is really not something he was prepared for. and the power that he felt in the family was really just a pseudo power that was perpetuated via perception.

[00:06:39]Um, but this is not an easy thing to do.

[00:06:42]This is why sometimes you'll actually you'll see like you'll say, "Oh yeah, I bulked up when I was a teenager and I actually punched my dad in the face or I you know had to restrain uh my mother or my my aunt or my grandfather or whatever uh because that was the only way that I could hold my own." And sometimes that's true.

[00:07:05]Sometimes that's true, but sometimes it's unbelievably dangerous. So, just be careful not to ever make that assumption that that's all somebody has to do. But he did it. And I guess from the picture, it appears that he kicked his dad out, which would come with it its own sense of simultaneous sense of empowerment and profound disappointment that that's something you even had to do.

[00:07:30]Oh, let's see what happens. Ups and downs.

[00:07:34]You laugh as mom tells you a joke she heard in the doctor's waiting room. She cooked her perogi. Man, don't you love them? And her relaxed, smiling face when she can be herself without that monster bullying her. You just wish you could find more than a part-time job to support the two of you. That prescription she brought home today is going to cost you plenty.

[00:07:52]All right, so a bit of a uh meaningful relationship with his mom. Dad stays away. Mom apparently is happy about that decision that it was made for her, which would be good, but we already see it there, right? There's a creeping sense that I'm the one that must take care of her. So, he's got a little bit of a disposition for caretaking.

[00:08:14]Partly probably the result of the fact that this version of him still had that father as the example and had a strong reaction to it.

[00:08:28]Oh, this is so cool. I love this so much. Not in his footsteps. This is, by the way, the context that I always want in other characters in the other playthroughs we do. This is the stuff I wish I had.

[00:08:40]So good.

[00:08:43]22 years old, not in his footsteps. You smile as you walk away from the mine.

[00:08:47]Dad was behind that job offer, that's for sure. Trying to clear his conscience, redeem his sins. The steady job was tempting, but you were assertive again. No way you'll owe anything to him. You'll make it on your own. You always do.

[00:09:00]So this is an interesting one, right? That like making a decision in spite of somebody is sometimes no different than making a decision because of them.

[00:09:14]Where evaluating whether this was the right decision for him is really a matter of perspective. Could it be that working in the mine actually was the best option for the time for him at the time, but he turned it down only because of his father's influence?

[00:09:32]Or is this legitimately the best decision for him? I don't have an answer on that.

[00:09:38]But when you live your life in spite of somebody, that is an inadvertent way of being controlled by that person still.

[00:09:46]Because to say I won't do this because of this is the same as saying I will do this because of this. It's still like a way of perpetuating this. So if this legitimately wasn't the right decision for him, great.

[00:10:00]But you know he doesn't owe it really like here's the thing right is uh I talk about we talk about this with alcoholism that there is really like two versions slashsteps of alcohol recovery.

[00:10:20]Usually when people are trying to fight through alcoholism or alcohol dependence, they will remove all alcohol entirely from their presence uh as like the first step. So there's no alcohol in my house.

[00:10:37]There's no alcohol. Whenever I go to a party, I request that everybody at the party not drink. We go out to a restaurant, I request that nobody drink or that we go to a restaurant where there's no alcohol available. All of that stuff, right? And while that makes it so that you can't drink and thus don't drink, which is great is better than drinking. And I'm not here to I'm not trying to disparage this, that still holds in place that if alcohol was present, you don't know that you'd be strong enough to fight it. So, you keep it away from you entirely as a means to work your way through it. And then there's another level that some people are able to reach and some aren't. And I'm not saying that people are able to reach it or better than people who aren't. But there's a extra layer to how you would work through that where you can be around alcohol and actively choose not to consume it because that's the right decision for you.

[00:11:36]The reason I use that as an example is that that may be a little bit of what's going on for him here, which is that I've cut off my father and I have I refuse to engage anything that is even remotely reflective of his influence. So I won't pursue his job. My dad sloppily and drunkenly painted Warhammer. So I have no interest in playing Warhammer because my dad did that. My dad wore turtlenecks, so I don't wear turtlenecks because I don't want to look like him. I don't wear my hair like him. It's a complete severance and avoidance of your father's presence as a way to work through that. And there may be things that you miss out on as a result of that that you can live with, and that's fine.

[00:12:23]But there's a extra layer of this where perhaps instead of making decisions in spite of him so that you're always in absence of him, you make decisions while he's present or omnipresent.

[00:12:39]And you don't allow his influence to be part of your decision-making process.

[00:12:46]So I wear my hair the same way he did because I like my hair this way. It has nothing to do with my dad. I took a job in the mines because I in this world it's safe to do and I can provide for my mom and that's important to me and I can make a decent living and I actually enjoy the process of mining. My dad just so happens to be in that space but screw him. He doesn't get to decide what I do or don't do. Right? So there's two levels to that. A lot of people get stuck in that first level with relationships and cut offs and that can actually be detrimental to them if they miss out on things that they otherwise wouldn't because they're trying to spite that person. So, I don't have the answer for this. He does, but it's a worthy thing to talk about.

[00:13:30]Final goodbye.

[00:13:32]You hold back the tears when you look at her on the hospital bed. You knew this was coming. Her health deteriorating fast in the last months. You just didn't want to think about it. You hate that helplessness. Damn. and get your [ __ ] together, Yan. You need to be strong for her. Promise her you'll make something of yourself. Keep her smiling to the very end.

[00:13:50]You don't necessarily need to be strong for people who are deteriorating rapidly.

[00:13:56]Uh we've talked about this in other playthroughs. Silent Hill in particular comes to mind, but the uh sometimes it's actually better to show that you are affected. Strength is like a relative term here. Strength can be showing emotion as much as it can be holding it back.

[00:14:13]For some people that are going through uh death or really like terminal disease or you know that the end is coming.

[00:14:23]Sometimes they'll report that they feel like they're on an island because nobody around them is really acknowledging what's happening because they're all trying to stay strong there. the whether you whether showing or holding back emotion is the right call relative to somebody who's struggling is very context dependent and can change from moment to moment. There might be times where his mom relies on some sense of strength from him where he's not actively breaking down and she finds empowerment in that. There might be other times where it means a great deal to her to see him break down, see that this makes him sad because that means she matters to him. And it's not like she's not feeling stuff going here, like going through this. And sometimes there can be a fear of sharing the pain that you're going through when you're deteriorating because everybody else around you is just fine.

[00:15:18]So there is absolutely place and strength in showing the way that you are experiencing something like this. It's okay and it's very context and moment dependent on that.

[00:15:36]But there's an emerging pattern here with Yan that I think goes deeper than just these momentto moment things.

[00:15:44]And as a therapist, it's often my job to figure these things out or to look for these things.

[00:15:52]Yan, in my opinion, is not showing a very strong sense of self or self-conviction.

[00:16:00]Jan seems to have a tendency to use the external as a means to create a sense of purpose or motivation. So first it's I make decisions to spite my father and now it's I make decisions in order to make my mother proud. So he is offloading some of the motivation and accountability for these things to these figures that matter to him instead of finding that resolve within himself. I'm going to make something of myself because that's something that's important to me, not just because that'll make my mother proud. My mom being proud of me would be a great byproduct. But if I can do something that I'm proud of, whether my mom is proud of me or not is inconsequential to whether it's something that matters to me and is something I'm proud of. And you see this a lot with folks like building this sense of self where you are self-directed, autonomous, making decisions with I mean information that you gather from the people that matter to you is a perfectly fine thing to use.

[00:17:04]But there are a lot of people like Yan who will make their whole trajectory of conviction be based on the external people and what they may or may not think about it.

[00:17:21]So, this is something that has transcended Yan's existence in both branching pathways, which is something that would really get to the heart of his issues should he ever decide to want to talk about them, which is, you know, Yan, when do you think you'll develop your own self-directedness rather than relying on others via adoration or spite to help you make those decisions?

[00:17:49]23. Fixing things. You brighten up as the engine starts. Yeah, fixing things always made you feel good.

[00:17:58]Like you really can change things, make them better. Looks like going to that vocational school wasn't just a parting gift for mom, but the best you could do for yourself. Okay, so there's a bit of an emergence of it there. Great.

[00:18:12]Starting to connect it to his own self instead of his mom.

[00:18:17]unfamiliar feeling. It feels good to become an expert on something. The boss says customers ask for you specifically, and he can see you replacing him when he retires. It's a new feeling to be trusted, respected by another man, a mentor, and he's the first person you opened up to about mom's passing. Why couldn't dad just be like that?

[00:18:37]Oh man, I'm sure there was a whole host of reasons.

[00:18:46]The answer to that question, by the way, is dad could have been that, but made decisions that led to him not being that.

[00:18:59]And you can simultaneously empathize with those decisions. It can be hard for people to go there because it seems like you're building compassion for somebody you have a great deal of disdain for, but you can still hold your dad accountable to his decisions despite empathizing with why he may have made them that way.

[00:19:20]At some point in your life, Yan, you're going to want to stop comparing everybody to your father. This is another example of a way in which he continues to carry his father despite believing that he no longer has any engage him with it. Your father was your father. You didn't like who he was. You kicked him out. That felt like the right decision. Still seems like the right decision. Hold him accountable for who he was. You will never know who he turned into after that cut off because you haven't maintained contact with him.

[00:19:52]And this person shows you that this is something that people are capable of being, which you would hope will help Yan cut through his projections. This is an alternative data set. So, no longer do I imagine that every man I come across is going to be untrustworthy and a dick. I now have seen this represented in a meaningful way, which means that I have a more nuanced set of possible assumptions I'll make or in this case men I may come across.

[00:20:23]Shady business. You try not to ease drop, but it's the third time this month these fishy dudes are here talking to your boss behind closed doors. He says it's nothing, but you can see he's distracted. Doesn't look you in the eye much. Disappears for hours, leaving you in charge of the business. Is that a good thing, or should you be worried?

[00:20:40]It's not really about how you should feel. It's about how you do feel. And if you pay attention to how you do feel, you're often more likely to make better decisions.

[00:20:50]Should is not a word that belongs in the emotional space at all.

[00:20:56]25. Lost trust. Bake batteries.

[00:20:59]counterfeit parts. Is that what it was all about? As your boss is being taken away by the police, you feel like an idiot for trusting him. Idiot is not a feeling. Idiot is a judgment. That is an evaluation that you make about yourself.

[00:21:12]You don't feel like an idiot. You're telling yourself you're an idiot. So, if you're a person that walks around going, I feel like an idiot. No, you don't. You are telling yourself you're an idiot.

[00:21:26]thinking that you could open up to him while all this time he's been lying to your face, pretending to be a friend.

[00:21:30]What a fool you've been. Oh, no. Treat it as a lesson. Yan, the only person you can rely on is yourself. Ah, my guy.

[00:21:39]No, no, no, no, no. This is the brain's big mistake.

[00:21:43]The brain's big mistake, man. This is where you're fighting against your own biology.

[00:21:48]I'm a fool for trusting him. is you taking accountability for somebody else acting in bad faith.

[00:21:57]He chose to lie to you.

[00:22:02]He took advantage of you. You don't get duped unless he dupes you.

[00:22:11]You could be the dumbest, least perceptive person in the universe and your boss could have chosen to handle that with care. Your boss chose not to do that. You are not responsible for the decisions that your boss made.

[00:22:30]So when you tell yourself you're an idiot for trusting him, if I sent you back 10 times out of 10 without hindsight, you do it the same way again because there was data there that suggested that he was trustworthy and telling him those things was not just about him. It was about you. It was about you reaching a place where you were able to acknowledge it well enough for yourself that you became comfortable talking about it. Whether he was trustworthy or not is not a point of evaluation for that vulnerability.

[00:23:10]So now when he says the only person you can rely on is yourself, we're in trouble because this person and your trust in that person does not in any way, shape, or form predict future engagements with other humans that are not him.

[00:23:30]This might be a lesson in whether you want to continue to engage with him going forward, but it is not a lesson in how you engage with other humans.

[00:23:41]You may look for certain things in hindsight. What were things that might have shown you that he may not have been trustworthy? You might look for certain traits, but to make the automatic assumption that the only person you can rely on is yourself, not healthy and is going to lead in adulthood to a dismissive attachment style.

[00:24:00]More about attachment in my 2-hour video that's here on YouTube if you want that.

[00:24:04]But the way that children learn attach by the way uh the way dismissive or uh avoidant attachment develop or attachment develops in childhood is when a child's needs are not met by their caretakers and thus they learn that the only way those needs get met is to rely on oneself and to problem solve that and so trust in other people wains as a result of that. This is an adult version of that.

[00:24:34]fine on your own.

[00:24:36]Of course, it was just a matter of time before they approached you now that he's in jail. His words about you replacing him seem so ironic now. You don't want anything to do with them. But what if you lose your job? You love that workshop that they're criminals. No assertiveness. Remember, don't be scared. You can make it on your own.

[00:24:53]Now, that may be a healthy manifestation of that. I don't trust this work environment. I don't trust these people.

[00:24:59]I've seen these specific people get somebody into trouble and thus I do not want to engage with them.

[00:25:07]That is a perfectly reasonable conclusion to draw. Good for him.

[00:25:14]26 years old, staying strong. As you turn the paycheck around in your fingers, you think of mom. She'd be happy to know you're finally making good money working in an international factory on a contract of employment. You stayed strong and made something of yourself. She'd probably be worried that you're still on your own, but that's the way you prefer it. That's good. There's a little bit of differentiation from mom there. Mom might have worried about this, but ultimately it's right for me.

[00:25:39]Good for him.

[00:25:42]26. Ghost from the past. Watching the bartender pour you another one. In the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of a figure watching you. You turn and see if it was just somebody's coat. You smile with relief. For a moment, you thought it was dad. You sip your drink and listen casually to the conversation at the tables. It's good not to have problems as you watch the bartender pour you another one.

[00:26:12]Perhaps there is some level of genetic disposition to the flavor and effect of alcohol.

[00:26:23]also something to really understand about something like alcoholism.

[00:26:28]Uh, one of the most useful ways that I ever had it conceptualized and is now the way that I think about it is that alcoholism is not just about the substance itself. It's about the relationship to it.

[00:26:44]For some people, the most consistent, reliable, stable relationship they have is with their substance of choice.

[00:26:54]Whiskey always there for me.

[00:26:58]If I'm having a bad day, whiskey shows up. It's the same every time. I know exactly how it's going to make me feel.

[00:27:05]I know exactly what the process is of what my what my thoughts are going to be like when I drink it. It's there for me every time I need it. And I get to get away from how I feel or I get to get closer to it.

[00:27:19]That strong, stable, consistent, reliable relationship for humans is very tough to detach oneself from. So if you say to somebody just don't drink, which it is true ultimately that alcoholism is only perpetuated by the behaviors associated with pouring alcohol down your throat. When you tell somebody not to drink, what you're essentially saying is don't engage with your attachment figure.

[00:27:43]Don't seek proximity in times of adversity to something that makes you feel safe. That's something that's stable and consistent, reliable, something that all humans want when they are dealing with adversity. So, he's simultaneously saying, "I'm great on my own. I don't have any problems, right?"

[00:27:58]And maybe he's just drinking recreationally. That's fine.

[00:28:02]I'm not trying to say that what he's doing here is problematic, but this is the type of thing you want to look out for. It's a relationship to the substance. It's not just the substance.

[00:28:13]Uh, often times like when people go to quit smoking, they Yes, the nicotine addiction is incredibly hard to break, but you'll hear smokers talk a lot about how one of the harder things to break is the routine.

[00:28:24]It's the smoke breaks. It's the the social aspect of it. It's the cigarette with the coffee.

[00:28:33]Those are the things.

[00:28:35]It's the the consistency, the stability, how it makes you feel when you're stressed out. That's what people miss even more than the cigarette itself.

[00:28:46]27. Drifting through. Your friends burst out in laughter. The jokes just keep coming to you. It's a good night. You just got your paycheck and you're buying rounds.

[00:28:55]Okay. Calling these people friends is a little too much. You've only just met them, but you're having fun together, right? The girl to your left has been giving you signals. Could this be your lucky night? And so now what we're seeing from this person who is relatively alone with stuff is that there is a significant amount of social reinforcement around drinking.

[00:29:17]I can engage with people more readily.

[00:29:20]My inhibitions are down. People seem to like me. I'm the life of the party. A part of me comes out more in spades than it otherwise would. Now I'm building a relationship with alcohol and its use becomes something that's inextricably intertwined with some of the positive things I'm experiencing.

[00:29:48]30 years old signs of trouble. A damn crisis just had to hit when you were starting to actually enjoy life. Your whole branch is being shut down. You'll be lucky if you keep your job at all.

[00:29:58]And this damn advert just keeps on your nerves for pitium. A magic trick to make everyone happy. Who's stupid enough to even think of going on these missions?

[00:30:10]He says as he's depressed, drinking a beer, watching TV.

[00:30:24]33 years old. Him again. You can't make up your mind. Bet safely or take the risk. Wonder who that guy is putting his money on. Wait, is that [ __ ] It's him.

[00:30:36]Dad.

[00:30:39]He looks like a [ __ ] Of course he visits the bookie regularly. [ __ ] loser. Man, you just hope he doesn't recognize you. Get out of here quick and don't ever come back.

[00:30:49]You're not like him. You've got your [ __ ] together. This is the Oh, man. See, like, all right, how do I do this in a way that doesn't take me 30 minutes to describe?

[00:31:06]So, uh, talked about this in a couple other playthroughs, but there's a concept that is generally discussed within the context of object relations, which is the one that projection comes from, called splitting.

[00:31:27]Splitting is a process that's used as part of objectification where you see things in deeply black and white terms and even beyond that it's usually less black and white and more bad and good.

[00:31:47]So you can apply this to various traits uh in a person. The most common way that this happens. So we're going to use the example of um what would be the word for got your [ __ ] together? Let's call it prosperous.

[00:32:11]So when you split, the idea is that if you're prosperous, you're good. If you're not prosperous, bad.

[00:32:24]Dad, not prosperous, bad.

[00:32:29]Me prosperous, good. And so when you start to relate to certain objects, in this case, uh you're setting bets. Your dad walks into the same place to do exactly the same thing that you're doing. You see dad, you see loser, you think bad. Well, wait a second. If I am doing the same thing that my dad is, and that's a reflection of a lack of prosperity, and that's bad, that's intolerable to me. I must be good. And some people will make actions in order to like sort of fulfill that split. Other people will sort of mess with themselves and trying to see themselves as not the bad thing which can als which can lead to a lack of self-reflection.

[00:33:18]So in this case he's failing to critically analyze that he's basically doing the same thing as his dad but I can't possibly be my dad because I told myself that I won't be. And so any of these actions that he does are a reflection of a lack of prosperity. I'm doing this maybe because I have prosper.

[00:33:34]I mean, this gets this is really hard for me to put in a nutshell here, but I hope in some to some degree it makes sense. So, when he says you're not like him, you've got your [ __ ] together.

[00:33:45]Well, there are ways in which you are absolutely like him.

[00:33:49]And nobody universally has their [ __ ] together. And your failure to see that and hold simultaneously, the idea is you want to hold the split simultaneously.

[00:33:58]There are things that I'm doing that are good and things I'm doing that are bad. What decisions do I want to make in reaction to that right here? Does he use this as a point of self-reflection on himself or does he use this as a chance to split from his dad? He uses the chance to split from his dad.

[00:34:18]35 Project Dolly. You look at the spaceship entrance. Only fools don't change their minds.

[00:34:24]Especially if your debts are mounting.

[00:34:25]You'll be fine. You just need to make it through this mission. They respect professionals like you. Just stay strong. You'll be all right.

[00:34:38]uh great, wonderful, very successful, uh welladjusted, powerful people change their mind all the time.

[00:34:54]Uh, in fact, a a unwillingness to change your mind in the presence of facts that perhaps will change your conviction on something is what a fool does.

[00:35:09]At any point in time in your development, you can be presented with information which turns into knowledge that leads to you reconceptualizing something differently than you already did.

[00:35:18]It's okay to change your major in college. It's okay to change your mind on a person when you get more information about it about them.

[00:35:26]It's okay when as you continue to get more and more and more and more and more, you say, "You know what? With that additional knowledge, I've actually decided to change my perspective on this." It's part of what communication even is, is trying to influence other people to take influence.

[00:35:49]Wow.

[00:35:53]50% efficiency when doing base maintenance.

[00:35:59]Waiting for wake up procedure.

[00:36:14]This would be Oh my god. Before we even have this conversation, this would be an unbelievably trippy experience.

[00:36:36]Oh man. Because you are going to interact with a version of you that not only led a different life, but as the result of their experiences and development will have different perspectives on some of the same things that you have.

[00:37:00]This guy's attitude toward his father in formative years may have been the same but from the branching point may have cultivated may have been something different. His relationship with his mother is different. He had more time with mom than me.

[00:37:19]So you represent or become something that I am reminded of the things I don't like about myself. I regret that I left and didn't get enough time with mom and missed her death. You were there with her.

[00:37:40]Same woman.

[00:37:44]Your lived experience is an alternative reality to the one that I lived and is no more or less valid than mine, even though I'm like the genesis for it.

[00:37:57]And so comparison of lives and choices and stuff is going to be wild because we have a guy who had the exact up until the branch point they had the exact same circumstances.

[00:38:09]And at 19 years old he he ran and he stayed. He stood up to dad. He didn't.

[00:38:23]I mean, come on.

[00:38:26]This is wild.

[00:38:31]Uh, hey. Hey. Hey there. Wow. Um, hello.

[00:38:36]Hello. Can Can you hear me?

[00:38:42]I uh What is this?

[00:38:53]Where am I?

[00:39:04]Dude, so this guy has a full life lived leading up to this point where he believed he joined the expedition, but then he wakes up on this ship kind of like in the same way that we just like woke up in that pod at the beginning of this game.

[00:39:27]But how do you explain? Wow. It's like, does he remember what he was doing? Oh, dude, this is nuts.

[00:39:34]Like what's the point in time that he has the last memory of there's been an emergency. Uh the the whole crew is dead. I I know this is abrupt, but I I'll need you to focus.

[00:39:55]Focus.

[00:39:58]Wait. Wait. Why are you What the [ __ ] is going on here?

[00:40:05]My head.

[00:40:07]Oh, why do I feel so weird?

[00:40:11]I think you're on some meds.

[00:40:14]>> What?

[00:40:15]What for?

[00:40:18]So you don't panic when you wake up. Why would I panic?

[00:40:24]I'll I'll explain later. right now.

[00:40:28]Let's check your mental condition. Okay.

[00:40:31]Do you think you can uh introduce yourself?

[00:40:35]>> Sure.

[00:40:37]Can you?

[00:40:41]Huh? Oh my god.

[00:40:48]Having the choice here is wild because if I say I'm Yandolski, which I mean obviously I look like you. If I say I'm Yandulki, he's going to go, "Wait a minute. I'm Yandolski. What are you talking about?" But if I say you first, that also can jack his anxiety. I don't know that either one of these is particularly great. I think what feels right for me is to be the one who models by saying I'm Yandolski and we'll see how he reacts.

[00:41:16]Okay. My name is Yandolski.

[00:41:22]>> Yeah, sure. You got my looks? Why not use my name, too?

[00:41:28]>> So, you think you're Yandulski as well?

[00:41:32]>> What kind of [ __ ] is this? H >> What's your role on the mission?

[00:41:41]>> I'm a senior technician. Want to tell me what your role is?

[00:41:45]imitating human crew members. Is this some kind of sick experiment?

[00:41:50]Cuz if it is, nobody warned me.

[00:41:55]Wow.

[00:41:57]Oh my god.

[00:42:00]This is crazy because this guy didn't actually have a life before this. Like this guy was born here.

[00:42:12]So anything he believes about Oh my god.

[00:42:16]But he believes he had a life. He has memories of an entire life, which means like he had a life. Oh, dude, we're going to get existential as crap here because even though we know that he was just created right here, his he doesn't understand that because in his head he has an entire amount of lived experience. He was on this expedition. He's part of the crew.

[00:42:46]He was part of a crew that apparently didn't quite know what was going on entirely. And so he thinks that I'm a crew impersonator because Oh my god.

[00:42:58]Like, how do you tell this guy actually none of that was real? You were just born in this. Literally 5 seconds ago.

[00:43:06]You were a fetus 10 seconds ago.

[00:43:11]You were merely a thought 15 minutes ago. And now here you are in all of your glory with a full set of memories interacting with somebody that you see and are pretty sure is probably you but is separate.

[00:43:45]Huh? I I mean, I don't even know how to make I can't The the ethics of this are just absolutely bananas.

[00:43:55]It's not an experiment. This is for real. And I'm for real.

[00:44:01]>> So, what's going on?

[00:44:04]Well, I got stranded in this base and um well, I needed someone to help me move it cuz it got broken then. Okay, this is the crazy part. I learned that there's this functionality of the quantum computer on board to uh well create alternate versions of a person's life. would replicate person but with different experiences, mind records.

[00:44:40]If there's anyone in a bad mental condition in this room, it's definitely not me.

[00:44:45]>> Of course, >> QC's only functionality is to navigate these junkets. I mean, theoretically, it could do other stuff, but such [ __ ] I know it's absurd. I thought the same, but here you are. Right.

[00:45:03]Right. If I understand you correctly, you're telling me you're a alternate version of me with a different mind.

[00:45:15]of Oh my god, this is such a great exercise in how you engage empathy when your realities and perspectives are different.

[00:45:33]Cuz we know what our experience was, which is that this guy didn't exist in our space until 10 minutes ago.

[00:45:42]This guy is of sound minded body, doesn't have that context, thinks he lived an entire life, and he shows up. And of course, he would say, "I'm not sure I'm the one with mental issues, dude. I remember my like whole life up until this point, and now I'm talking to I just woke up in a cryopod or in a whatever. And I'm talking to somebody who looks and sounds like me and is saying that he's me.

[00:46:12]Everybody I ever talked to in my life seemed perfectly fine.

[00:46:18]I This would be just an I mean this is an absolute trip.

[00:46:30]Sort of. Yeah. And you said we were stranded.

[00:46:35]>> Yes.

[00:46:37]It's just us. Like I said, there's a malfunction in the machinery. If you don't help me fix it soon, we're both going to die. So, wait.

[00:46:50]Let me get this straight. This is not an experiment, and you're a different version of me. This version of me woke me from cryosleep to help fix a malfunction because there's no one else on board. What if there was no malfunction?

[00:47:07]Where would I be?

[00:47:18]I mean, I got to I'm going to just say I give the writers of this game a lot of credit because this is a ridiculously hard thing to write. I mean, just absolutely ridiculous. The amount of things that you have to consider in what this engagement is is unbelievable.

[00:47:35]Like I really want to ask him, "What's the last thing you remember before you woke up?"

[00:47:47]He's like, "Oh, I well cuz I woke up from cryosleep. I don't remember going to lay down in a cryopod."

[00:48:00]Last thing I remember was I I had a beer on the station, fraternized with my girlfriend in the janitor closet, and then passed out on a rug in my bathroom. And you're telling me that I woke I don't remember the cryopod. Who put me in the cryopod?

[00:48:23]And now I'm here. But you're telling me that I just ex I just was created here.

[00:48:31]I mean, this dude's anxiety would be off the goddamn charts. And the best way that I can like to empathize with this, I want you to imagine you close your eyes and then in 10 seconds when you open your eyes, another version of you is standing there and says, "Hey, you just woke up. You were just created 5 seconds ago."

[00:49:01]And you'd be like, "No, I was watching Dr. Mick, I literally watched him eat pizza before stream.

[00:49:10]I I I went to work today.

[00:49:18]Yeah, he hasn't even told him that. He's I It Where would I be if you I wouldn't have woken you up? Well, who put me to sleep? I mean, there's so much [ __ ] This is ridiculous.

[00:49:32]Now technically these are both true in some you know you want to get on the string theory hype train you exist somewhere because in my own history there I you know there's an alternative reality where I decided to stay home instead of go to school and you're what pops out.

[00:49:57]So you exist in a theoretical frame and also I would have never woken you up.

[00:50:16]You'd still exist somewhere theoretically. At least theoretically.

[00:50:26]Wow.

[00:50:27]You bastard.

[00:50:30]>> Yes, >> I can see now what the meds are for. I can't even lash out at you. Just this passiveness.

[00:50:42]What am I?

[00:50:45]Look, this is a lot and we'll sort it out. I promise.

[00:50:51]But trust me, if we don't fix the machinery fast, we're going to go in a very bad way, and you'll never get the chance to understand this properly.

[00:51:01]Experience your feelings without the meds.

[00:51:07]I don't like this kind of pressure.

[00:51:10]Well, that makes two of us. Fine.

[00:51:16]Show me the way.

[00:51:18]>> Dude, this is great. I They even were smart enough to know that you got to be medicated so you don't >> punch people.

[00:51:25]>> What a screw up.

[00:51:28]A three-year-old would have figured it out.

[00:51:33]>> Okay.

[00:51:34]In any other case, I'd say don't touch anything here ever again. But unfortunately, this is a twoman job.

[00:51:46]On my sign, pull that lever over there.

[00:51:49]Just don't yank it like an idiot. Pull it gently.

[00:51:54]Ready?

[00:51:57]One, two, three. Now, yes, it worked. You did it. We're going to live. Let's get one thing straight. I did what you created before.

[00:52:14]>> Okay. So, he >> stay away from me. So, he does know that he was created.

[00:52:22]Now he's pissed. I could totally understand why.

[00:52:34]My entire existence is due to you needing me for my utility.

[00:52:40]And the fact that I was creative or created negates my entire past because I guess it technically didn't happen. I mean, you want to talk about some like really severe psychosis being possible from anybody in this situation. I mean, this would be just Wow.

[00:53:10]Where is he? Oh, he's in the He did tell me to leave him alone. I'm not going to do that, though.

[00:53:18]Yan, let's talk about this.

[00:53:29]Now I got two to feed. Is he smoking a cigarette right now?

[00:53:35]Oh, he sure is.

[00:53:38]You maybe do that out outside, huh?

[00:53:42]I mean, I probably would need a cigarette, too. I don't even smoke and I'd need a cigarette after this.

[00:54:52]Oh, I need organic material. material.

[00:54:55]Okay, that makes more sense.

[00:55:00]We'll farm that, huh?

[00:55:17]Ready to launch. All right.

[00:55:39]You want to automatically collect structures before starting your journey.

[00:55:44]You can automatically collect mining outpost and pylon component.

[00:56:00]Do this thing move.

[00:56:03]Journey one.

[00:56:19]This is so cool.

[00:56:26]What's up, buddy?

[00:56:31]Open the altars tab.

[00:56:35]Okay.

[00:56:37]The alt tab allows you to check the mental and physical state of your altars. The event log in the left provides insights into recent events.

[00:56:47]Frustration, rebellion, anxiety, gloom, no injuries, minimal radiation, no hunger. I'm pissed at Jan. He's really irritating.

[00:57:10]You consume one meal each day. Movies.

[00:57:12]You found a movie. Okay.

[00:57:30]Hey there.

[00:57:32]I said don't come near me.

[00:57:42]I get it. You're angry. I I would be too, but I could really use your help.

[00:57:48]You know, if we manage to get the comm's room running properly, we'd probably be able to get out of here faster.

[00:57:54]>> Stop pretending you have any idea how I feel. I don't give a damn about your comm's room. We're moving, aren't we?

[00:58:02]Get out of my face, creep.

[00:58:18]Interesting.

[00:58:26]I may need to be a bit more direct and real with him instead of empathic. And you're pissed off at me now, but deep down we both know >> I don't want that.

[00:58:44]>> Really? You said it yourself. We might look alike, but we're different. Like oil and water, if you ask me. and they don't mix well.

[00:58:55]>> Okay. Oh man. Oh jeez. Okay. Okay. Okay.

[00:58:59]Okay. Okay.

[00:59:00]Oh god. This is going to Oh, this is going to be such a crazy playthrough. Uh yeah, he's not going to like a needy version of himself.

[00:59:14]He's built his entire existence on standing up for himself. I can do things alone.

[00:59:21]So, I'm having to interact with a version of me that learned from his experiences to stand up for himself and do it on do it on his own. And so, if I try to act like I know him by talking about connective tissue, I don't know that I'm going to reach him right away. And there's the byproduct of if he sees me as a needy little [ __ ] he's going to see me maybe as closer to what his dad's like and further rebel.

[00:59:49]So, I have to be very mindful not to be the pathetic dad he saw, while I also have to be careful not to engage him as the mean [ __ ] dad that I had that I never stood up to.

[01:00:07]So, this is ridiculously complicated because if I stand up to him and hold firm and show that I'm self-sufficient, do the thing that I never did for my own father?

[01:00:22]Does he How does he handle that? Because he stood up to his dad when his dad did that. So, does he respect me or does he see I mean it's just like what? Oh my god.

[01:00:38]They don't mix well. I know you. I created you. Maybe. But we're still in this together. I'm going to go with that one.

[01:00:44]>> Maybe.

[01:00:45]But you won't last long without me. Just as I couldn't make it without you in a situation like this, hiding in a trench is just plain stupid. I'll tell you what's stupid. Listening to someone who created you cuz he needs a [ __ ] tool.

[01:01:01]Why don't you get yourself a repair kit and fix your own [ __ ] I'm done doing your dirty work.

[01:01:12]Modules deteriorate over time, which makes them prone to failures. To repair the communication room, you'll need a repair kit. You can craft one in the workshop.

[01:01:22]Oh, wow.

[01:01:29]Oh, this is so good.

[01:01:32]I have to I think one of the most important things that can happen for Yan here is do not see the other Yans as you. They may share memories but they are different people than you and you need to learn to engage them as that.

[01:01:53]So what might work for you is not necessarily going to work for that version of you. Prepare the communication room.

[01:02:38]Lucas.

[01:02:40]>> Hello, >> Mr. Dolski.

[01:02:44]>> Yeah. Yes, I'm I'm I'm here.

[01:02:47]>> Are you okay?

[01:02:52]>> Are you serious?

[01:02:54]I just had a choice to either die in pain or duplicate and edit myself. I'm far from okay.

[01:03:04]>> It's uh called branching. The duplicating and editing thing. I need to know if you pulled it off.

[01:03:12]>> Really? And I need to know who I'm talking to. I didn't catch your name.

[01:03:17]>> Oh, Lucas Pena, Space Traffic Control, Orbital Substation L7. Now, the branching. Did you do it?

[01:03:33]>> How can you be so calm about it?

[01:03:36]>> We do a lot of crisis management here at SDC. We need cool heads. But you reported finding rapidian.

[01:03:44]That's exciting, actually.

[01:03:54]What about the mind records?

[01:03:57]>> What is all that personal data doing in the base computer?

[01:04:01]>> Oh, that's um the corporation needs to ensure the safety of the mission and uh basically everyone. It's confidential, of course, and it kind of saved your life.

[01:04:18]I don't recall consenting to it.

[01:04:21]>> Well, you must have since it's there.

[01:04:24]>> Maybe you didn't read your contract thoroughly. They like to put these things in fine print, you know.

[01:04:32]>> Oh god.

[01:04:34]What the hell happened out there? What went wrong with the landing?

[01:04:40]>> To be honest, I don't know. I'm still analyzing telemetry data from your flight, but it seems something went very wrong.

[01:04:49]>> No kidding.

[01:04:51]>> Yeah, we know there was a major system malfunction, but the reasons are unclear. It's too early to tell. We need more data.

[01:05:05]>> Uh, it's a tricky point of contention because this is why I always tell people In the context of therapy, read your service agreement.

[01:05:18]Actually read it. If there's any part of your service agreement that you do not understand, ask your therapist to clarify it. If your therapist can't clarify it, that's a problem.

[01:05:31]If your therapist clarifies it and you don't like the answer, you do not have to sign the consent form.

[01:05:38]Um, any lawyer will tell you read anything before you sign it like cuz there's a chance that Yan did consent to this legally, you know, morally fine, but like he very well could have. Now, if it was written in a tricky way or the contract was bad, that's a whole thing. But If you ever have a really really important contract you're supposed to sign, it's worth your while to get a lawyer or somebody who knows how to read that legally and let you know exactly what you're signing up for.

[01:06:21]>> Do you know what killed the rest of the crew?

[01:06:25]>> Looks like an oxygen leak in the landing pods.

[01:06:30]No idea why, though. Then how come I survived?

[01:06:35]>> You tell me.

[01:06:37]You know, you're not very informative.

[01:06:40]>> I don't like confusing assumptions with information, Mr. Dolski.

[01:06:47]Conclusive evidence is more my thing.

[01:06:53]>> I want to talk to someone higher up. Do you have a boss?

[01:06:59]>> I might sound I might sound young, Mr. Dolski, but I'm not here by accident. No offense, man. I just need to know this stunt was authorized by someone.

[01:07:12]>> Look, I'm on my own here at the station, but I contacted my boss and we're good.

[01:07:19]Nothing to worry about.

[01:07:22]>> Uh, that's I don't know that that's a satisfactory answer for me.

[01:07:27]>> Have you done this before?

[01:07:29]>> That would be hard considering there's no repidium on Earth. So, How did you know what would happen?

[01:07:37]>> I didn't know.

[01:07:40]I anticipated the outcome based on historic data.

[01:07:44]>> What historic data?

[01:07:45]>> Some old research. Nothing important.

[01:07:59]Did the original Yandolski make me via Repidium so that I would go be the Yandolski that can safely go get other Yandolskis and practice this without the original Yandolski being in danger?

[01:08:14]So you're getting me out of here?

[01:08:16]>> So you're getting me out of here, right?

[01:08:19]You know how to do it safely. Sure.

[01:08:24]First thing I'll need you to do is to transport the base to a safe and accessible destination. I'll dispatch the coordinates to you.

[01:08:33]Second thing, do you think I could see this altar of yours?

[01:08:46]How do you know you're not talking to him right now?

[01:08:50]You're joking, right?

[01:08:54]>> Who knows?

[01:08:55]>> Yeah, nice try. But I'd know the difference. The emo suppressant meds. He wouldn't be in a disposition to mess around. How bad is he feeling? He's pissed off at me. Won't cooperate.

[01:09:12]>> Then we have a problem. You won't manage without his help. The base needs more hands on deck. There should be a way to gain his trust.

[01:09:21]Should show him you care. Maybe >> I told him I wouldn't survive without him.

[01:09:27]>> Yeah, that's just words.

[01:09:30]Maybe you should share something.

[01:09:32]>> What? Why?

[01:09:34]>> I don't know. Just a thought.

[01:09:38]My grandma used to say sharing is caring.

[01:09:42]>> It can be fun.

[01:09:43]>> Hey, let me think. What can I share with him? my playlist.

[01:09:49]>> Yeah, true.

[01:09:50]>> Wait, suppose it's not about what you can share with him, but what you already do.

[01:09:59]>> Also, I love how this dude just masterfully blew through my smoke screen.

[01:10:07]He's like, "Nah, man. I I would know.

[01:10:09]Emos suppressants and all that stuff.

[01:10:11]How's he doing?" And immediately like, "Oh, he's mad at me." He just like immed he could have bit on me trying to keep him on his toes and he just totally masterfully turned that around on me to get me to admit that I'm the original guy.

[01:10:26]It was really good.

[01:10:29]Of course. Memories. I wonder if he remembers things the same way I do.

[01:10:35]>> Yeah. Mind records. See, you were so spooked by them. They could be a source of information.

[01:10:43]Fine. I'll check them out to see what happens.

[01:10:47]>> I'll get back to you as soon as you reach your destination.

[01:10:51]Don't worry, you're in good hands.

[01:10:53]>> L7 out.

[01:10:56]>> L7 Weenie. You can learn more about your alter's life and choices by analyzing his life path in the quantum computer module.

[01:11:19]Oh, I did that. Okay.

[01:11:21]Hey, my guy.

[01:11:24]Read about the alter's life in the QC. I did that already cuz I'm a curious little kitten.

[01:12:01]I've been thinking about what you said.

[01:12:08]You're right. We are different. Sure we are. Like I got that right away and you took your sweet time.

[01:12:24]Oh god. I don't know if I go for the dad thing right away.

[01:12:36]No, I go for dead.

[01:12:38]I don't want to be avoidant of his agitation.

[01:12:45]I think in some ways I need to ensure that his agitation is not something that's going to intimidate me or change my way of going about it. To say I didn't go to college, I think is to circumn the probably deepest emotional tie that we have. But there's a marker difference in the way that he handled this.

[01:13:09]I'm serious.

[01:13:11]You stood up to dad. I didn't. Oh, really? And what did you do? Just stand and watch him take it out on mom? I thought about stepping in.

[01:13:26]I was always a a heartbeat away from doing it, but when it came down to it, I just freeze.

[01:13:37]Guess I was afraid of making things worse. Yeah, I remember the feeling.

[01:13:44]But then I reached a breaking point.

[01:13:47]Looks like you didn't hang around long enough to reach yours.

[01:13:52]Oh man. God. I mean because this really is like what was the ideal pathway which is such a subject? It's like does in in admitting that I made an alternative decision will the other version of me respect me?

[01:14:15]My sense is that the version of me that stood up to dad is less likely to respect the one to is less likely to respect the one that didn't then the one who didn't is he's more likely to respect the one who did because I get a sense that there's some level of regret in my experience and memory that I didn't stand up to him. So, I look at this one with adoration, but he's all like, uh, I'm going to protect my internalized image of mom by insulting you for the fact that you were not strong enough to stand up to dad. I mean, this is it is just so unbelievably complicated.

[01:15:18]I didn't believe staying behind could change anything.

[01:15:22]Did it? You tell me. Dad left and that was big. But I was hoping I don't know what I was hoping for.

[01:15:35]more.

[01:15:37]I think it was too late for mom to start her new life.

[01:15:42]She used to force a smile for me.

[01:15:46]But she didn't die a happy woman. Wait, is mom is she maybe still around here?

[01:15:55]No.

[01:15:56]I wish she was.

[01:15:59]She always knew what to do and how to cheer you up. Hey, when you were down or dad had just stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him and leaving you crying in your room, would she ask me to help her make pureogi?

[01:16:18]Her famous pureogi.

[01:16:21]Oh my god, I could really pig out on those.

[01:16:25]That making them together was fun.

[01:16:28]Fun?

[01:16:30]Yeah. Wow. Why don't we go for it? Why don't we try and make mom's famous pureogi?

[01:16:37]No way we'd find the ingredients here.

[01:16:51]Oh, I don't like the idea of bonding over alcohol, man.

[01:17:11]But that's probably the most connective one.

[01:17:17]Unless mom's perogi didn't taste good.

[01:17:19]But beer and synthetic starch is Who said they have to be right? Beer and synthetic starch should work.

[01:17:31]>> Yeah, hilarious.

[01:17:33]>> I can pull it off. You'll see. But there's one condition.

[01:17:38]You're eating them with me.

[01:17:41]If you die, I die. Why not? Won't change much, I guess.

[01:17:53]All right. Prepare a perogi in the kitchen. Wow.

[01:18:14]Man, the real question in all of this is as we get to know him, what how do we choose to channel the information, do we take his experience and look at it with like adoration like, damn, I respect you, dude.

[01:18:39]You did things I didn't do and I can understand and empathize with why you did what you did.

[01:18:45]Or do we judge each other?

[01:18:48]I did it better or you did it better.

[01:18:51]How do God, what is the meta going to be on this? This is so nuts as we just roll along. How you doing, Molly?

[01:19:05]>> Never. I'd be so glad to see a sheep.

[01:19:10]>> Yeah.

[01:19:12]Yeah.

[01:19:13]That's a good sheep.

[01:19:16]Good sheep.

[01:19:49]Not quite like mom used to make them, but they have nostalgic taste.

[01:19:57]One hour perogis.

[01:20:13]Here you are, the famous Doulski Pioi with an interstellar twist. What do you think?

[01:20:22]Well, now I know how mom must have felt that day she had a terrible flu and I decided to cheer her up and make perogi for her.

[01:20:34]Right. Yeah. I put like a ton of salt into the filling and I overcooked them into a shapeless pulp. They were inedible. But you remember what she did?

[01:20:47]>> Uh-huh.

[01:20:49]She ate them all and never said a word.

[01:20:52]No, no, she said they were delicious.

[01:20:54]>> Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

[01:20:58]So, they're delicious, man.

[01:21:03]Shut the [ __ ] up.

[01:21:14]Like an extreme form of a sibling.

[01:21:28]So, so how do you feel?

[01:21:38]>> Great. A serving of dehydrated dumplings completely changed my outlook on the situation. I feel so optimistic about life now.

[01:21:58]Look, I'm as freaked out as you are.

[01:22:00]Trust me. Looking at you, talking to you, revisiting my life. We're in this together.

[01:22:07]You're freaked out. Imagine how I feel.

[01:22:10]hating you. But on the other hand, if you didn't exist, you get the idea.

[01:22:18]And eating those [ __ ] perogi with you, I actually enjoyed it.

[01:22:29]Okay, so that took a bit of his defenses down here.

[01:22:36]And I think whenever somebody's defenses come down, you want to handle that with care. Sometimes people will see defenses coming down as an ability to take back some power.

[01:22:50]And I don't think that's a good way to do it. We can create a bit of a shared experience here because we've had our moment to acknowledge we're different. I think if I say, "Are you showing feelings?" That's a bit too much of an attack. That's me pouncing on the vulnerability instead of just acknowledging like I enjoyed it as well.

[01:23:11]And also in me saying I enjoyed it as well, it creates the separation of the two of us. I'm a person who's also capable of having opinions. And if I say are you showing feelings, it puts me back in this like weird leadership control space that he's likely to react poorly to. So, I think just saying so did I is a great way to go about this because it empathizes with his experience while also showing that I have an autonomous capability of making judgment.

[01:23:47]This game's a better vehicle for you to demonstrate family counseling than vampire therapist was. Oh, by a million miles.

[01:23:54]>> So did I.

[01:23:56]Sharing these memories with you, knowing you understand me, that was kind of comforting.

[01:24:03]Are you getting mushy with me? What? No.

[01:24:07]Okay. Okay. Just kidding.

[01:24:11]I know what you mean. I'm just not the sentimental type. Who's being sentimental? All I said was, "All right, all right. Just tell me what the plan is."

[01:24:25]That's a God I Man, this is great.

[01:24:35]They are not totally different, right? So, yes, they're different, but not totally.

[01:24:43]So, he ended up doing the thing that I chose not to do, which was be like, "Oh, you getting all mushy with me."

[01:24:53]And instead of getting aggressive, Yan deflects it.

[01:25:05]And that actually makes a lot of sense because the two of them grew up in the same early family experience where their dad took up so much space. there was likely very little for their experience particular like no matter whether it was like a good or bad one. And so an aversion to sentimentality and connection and vulnerability, emotional expression, they're still going to struggle with that.

[01:25:47]This is a bit of like, I'm going to give you [ __ ] for being mushy. Oh my god, are you saying I'm taking up too much space?

[01:25:52]It's it's a these are the types of knee-jerk reactions people have from their families of origin when they come from certain spaces where certain dynamics are crystallized.

[01:26:03]So, it's a really subtle, but it's actually very beautiful to me that I didn't do that thing and then he did that thing and then I got kind of like weirdly defensive on it.

[01:26:18]Makes sense from their development.

[01:26:26]The corporation is supposedly on top of this, but I know better than to put my life in the hands of pen pushers.

[01:26:34]Oh, I hear you. You never know with those numb skulls, right? So, until the rescue ship arrives, we better watch our own asses.

[01:26:45]They know about me.

[01:26:51]>> I'm going to be honest with them. They were the ones who told me to create you bastards.

[01:26:59]Tell me you know what to do.

[01:27:13]That's really God, that's a fascinating for somebody who deeply values figuring things out on their own is awfully differential when times get tough. when he's vulnerable.

[01:27:38]I'm almost surprised he's not the one that's the one answering this question instead of me.

[01:27:57]Only you know what to do.

[01:28:02]I mean, we'll improvise.

[01:28:04]>> All I know is we need to get to a safe place. Then we'll improvise. Well, there's one thing you should know. This base is a resource consuming, maintenanceheavy sucker to operate. I have you to help me. That's not going to be enough. I'll be blunt with you.

[01:28:26]If you want to survive, you're going to need more people.

[01:28:31]People?

[01:28:33]What people? The repidium's there. Use it. Make more versions of me.

[01:28:44]Versions of us both. You mean? Huh? That almost sounded like we're planning kids.

[01:28:51]You need to work on your cooking skills, though. Actually, I can't wait to branch.

[01:29:03]>> Oh, no. That's not what I meant.

[01:29:05]>> Sure. Take the bull by the horns. Good luck keeping him happy.

[01:29:11]>> I thought I I meant make perogis again, not branch again, but whatever. Okay.

[01:29:19]Unknown caller.

[01:29:22]Holy crap, dude.

[01:29:29]navigation system.

[01:29:42]>> Hello, Yan. Can you hear me?

[01:29:46]>> Lena, Lena, is that you?

[01:29:52]Why are you How did you find me?

[01:29:56]>> They let me know. Agatha, my boss, came to see me and said you could use some support.

[01:30:04]>> Are you all right?

[01:30:06]I heard about your crew.

[01:30:09]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[01:30:11]Everyone's dead, but I'm fine somehow.

[01:30:16]It's It's a lot to handle.

[01:30:20]>> Yeah, I know.

[01:30:22]Is it true you found rapidium?

[01:30:38]Uh oh. God, my ex calls me randomly.

[01:31:12]I don't trust that at all.

[01:31:19]What?

[01:31:25]And honestly, one of the first thing that goes through my mind on this is what's to prevent corporate from chucking Lena into the branch quantum computer? What if this is Alena whose branch is I stayed with Yan?

[01:31:43]Like what?

[01:31:46]How I like how how could I trust any of this at this point? This is nuts.

[01:31:52]What do you you you make my ex call me so that I give divulge more info?

[01:31:59]Like my skepticism is off the charts.

[01:32:03]Which by the way is partly why when people talk about how you should have full transparency in every possible way, it actually can create problems sometimes because like the now the more I know I like my my anxiety has spiked massively because I don't know what I can trust.

[01:32:19]This is nuts.

[01:32:25]So that's why they got you to call.

[01:32:28]>> I know you think everyone in the company is an underhanded [ __ ] but honestly, I don't care why they approached me. I wanted to call.

[01:32:37]What the hell happened out there? How did you survive?

[01:32:47]So, your boss, did she say anything more about the accident?

[01:32:53]>> No, just that you're all alone out there and could use someone close to talk to.

[01:32:59]>> Really?

[01:33:00]>> How did you make it?

[01:33:09]>> I don't know.

[01:33:11]Beginner's luck, I guess.

[01:33:14]Okay, I get this is awkward. We haven't spoken in a while and suddenly this.

[01:33:22]>> Maybe I shouldn't have.

[01:33:25]>> What's the plan for getting you out of there?

[01:33:29]>> There's a guy called Lucas Pñena. He's handling it apparently.

[01:33:35]>> Someone from STC.

[01:33:38]>> You know your way around.

[01:33:41]It's been a couple of years. Look, >> is there maybe anyone from outside the company you'd like me to get in touch with? I mean, to let them know.

[01:33:55]>> Oh, dude. Oh, man. Her reaction to me saying I was lucky and that kind of like shutting her down and going maybe this was a bad idea is red flag central for me. absolute red flag.

[01:34:14]That is not the reaction I would expect from somebody who called me out of pure altruism given our history.

[01:34:24]That is just so like that doesn't make any sense to me to have that reaction.

[01:34:32]Oh, maybe this wasn't the right decision to call you because you said you got lucky and it was beginner's luck because you didn't give a satisfactory answer to a very specific question that would divulge information about something absolutely whack that's happening on this ship and we're on company comms.

[01:35:00]No way.

[01:35:01]No way, dude. No way. My alarm bells are singing.

[01:35:13]>> No, there's no one.

[01:35:18]>> I didn't mean to get personal. Um, you know what? Why don't I ask STC to keep me in the loop and to keep an open channel for me?

[01:35:32]If you want that, of course.

[01:35:44]Sounds like that's what you want. Don't put that on me. Put that decision. You called me.

[01:35:52]Oh god. This is the stuff that just Oh, man. Oh, man. Is it hard for me to You called me.

[01:36:14]I mean, yeah, let STC keep you in the loop. I'm very uncomfortable with this far as an open channel with you. If you want that, sure. I can't guarantee you I'm going to call you on it, but don't make it don't make this my decision. I didn't even know that you thought about me until right now.

[01:36:34]No. If that's what you want, keep the line open. Maybe I'll use it. But otherwise, no, no, no, no.

[01:36:43]>> Sure. If that's what you want.

[01:36:46]>> I really don't think this is about me.

[01:36:49]>> Oh, it's about you.

[01:36:52]>> Talk soon then. This call was about you.

[01:36:56]>> Bye.

[01:36:57]>> Or it was about whatever whoever sent you wanted.

[01:37:05]>> Hey, were we supposed to stop here?

[01:37:10]Nope. It's way too early.

[01:37:14]Don't tell me something's wrong with the base again.

[01:37:18]Not on my watch. Systems are working fine.

[01:37:22]Something side then.

[01:37:24]>> Yeah.

[01:37:26]Don't jump into your suit already.

[01:37:29]I'm kind of starting to like the inside of our base. All right, I'll take a look around.

[01:37:44]All of that. We didn't even hit act one yet. Okie dokie.

[01:38:03]Day eight. The sun is far away.

[01:38:09]Holy [ __ ] >> Hey man, can we talk?

[01:38:18]>> Oh, we'll talk. We'll talk in part three.

[01:38:22]Holy cow. Thanks for hanging out. This is awesome. I'm loving this. This is even better than I thought it was going to be.

[01:38:34]So good. So, I hope I'll see you in part three. Leave a thumbs up, leave a comment, follow the links in the description, check out my other playthroughs, all this fun stuff. This is great. This is great. I am loving this. Holy hell.

[01:38:52]Uh, please subscribe to the channel if you're not subscribed. And uh, if you happen to be somebody who financially supports this stream in any way, thank you very much for that. I am grateful for it. If you're binging, I'll see you right here on the station part three. And if you're waiting for the next one to come out, we'll get it out to you as soon as we can. I appreciate you. You matter. See you in the next one.