Nice Guys Are Destroying Britain | Being Nice vs Being Good

[00:00:02]Being a nice person and being a good person are not the same thing. In fact, more often than not, they are direct opposites. And politics across Britain, the Anglosphere, and Europe has become completely obsessed with being nice and general niceness, which is not the same thing as being good. And this provides the appearance of compassion, a surface level appearance of compassion, whilst actually producing extremely harmful consequences. Hi, my name is Tom and this is my channel Integral Views.

[00:00:34]It's not only our politics that is making this fundamental philosophical mistake, but it's the entirety of our culture and you can see it through media. You can see it basically everywhere. And this mistake is destroying our societies and producing very harmful results. Now, Gad Saad calls this suicidal empathy, but I don't think that that really captures the true depth of the issue at hand. A phrase that I much prefer to express this is idiotic compassion. And that was coined by Chögyam Trungpa, who is a Tibetan Buddhist, and then the Dalai Lama's also written about this extensively. Now, I am a practicing Zen Buddhist and I have been for my entire adult life. So, of course, I've read extensively on this and thought a lot about it, the issue of compassion and what's true compassion.

[00:01:22]So, keep in mind what I'm talking about here is really having a huge negative impact on society. It's within our politics and culture and it's producing extremely harmful results. I will go through examples later on, but first of all, let me be clear about what I'm talking about. So, really is the difference between being a nice person and a good person.

[00:01:43]And the phrase I like is idiotic compassion. So, essentially, if you imagine a scenario in which someone that you know that you care a lot about, maybe a good friend of yours, is very ill, right? And they need some medicine, but the medicine tastes really, really nasty, right? It's bitter medicine. Now, the nice person would think, "Yeah, I don't want to give them something that's going to cause them that's going to cause them suffering. I don't want them to have this nasty taste. They don't like it. It causes them suffering in the moment." Right? But obviously, them having the med- medicine is for their own good, right? Bitter medicine.

[00:02:19]And so, the truly compassionate thing to do is to get them to take the medicine.

[00:02:25]And often what that amounts to, what that actually kind of is in reality, is being is being confrontational, being offensive. Another way of looking at it is, let's say that someone that you love dearly is doing something very harmful.

[00:02:40]They are engaged in something, let's say like they are they are morbidly obese and they are overeating. Now, it might seem [snorts] compassionate, right, to be nice to them and to pretend basically enable them to continue because to tell them that there's they've got a problem and that there is a very real issue and they need to take accountability and do something about it, right, would be would cause them offense. It would cause them to suffer in the moment because they'd then have to confront harsh truths about reality in themselves. And what society is actually doing is essentially avoiding the issue, many, many issues. It is obsessed with being nice, this niceness, which is called in Buddhism idiotic compassion. It's very different to wise compassion. Now, being a good person often requires you to be confrontational and offensive, right? Because you have to confront harsh truths of reality in order to produce greater good down the line. And basically, when I make my videos, when I engage in whatever it is I'm engaging in, I do put a lot of thought into this.

[00:03:48]It's not coming from a point of view of, you know, I just want to be um to be nasty. Actually, I'm often thinking about what's the greater good outcome, right? And then trying to act accordingly. Now, this approach of idiotic compassion or being a nice person is inherently egotistical and actually potentially narcissistic as well. It is based within this idea of trying to give the appearance of being a nice person. Essentially, what happens is that the ego, the individual has this construct of themselves as this nice person going through life. And the entirety of their their ego, everything that they view themselves as is that niceness, right? And so, if you shatter that niceness, right, that would be necessary in order to confront harsh truths about reality, well, then their entire sense of self gets shattered because it's fun- it's fundamentally fragile. And so, it's nice for the person, the individual, in that moment when you could confront something harmful that someone else is doing, right? Let's take the example of of the morbidly obese person, it's going to be very uncomfortable for you if you care about that person to have that confrontation and to bring things up that they're doing, right? That's not good in themselves and of themselves, right?

[00:05:12]And so, it's going to put you in a position of feeling, you know, uncomfortable.

[00:05:17]And it's going to shatter any illusion that you're just this lovely, lovely, nice person. So, essentially, it is a kind of a weakness. And this is embedded right the way through society, through our politics, and through everything that we do. And we do this not only on individual level, culturally, right? And we do it within parenting, etc., and addressing harmful actions, not pushing our children to take accountability, but we also do it at a political level. So, we're not addressing really harmful consequences of of different cultures, right? Of different things that are happening across society. The grooming gangs are another example, and I'll go through many later. But, essentially, this is embedded right the way through our culture, through politics, etc. And it is just an extremely fundamental mistake because some of the most harmful people are the nice people. What you'll often find with these nice people that seem nice on a surface level, they are extremely egotistical. And dig beneath the surface, and what you'll find is essentially some some something very nasty, right? In my life, when I meet people like this, I know that really when push comes to shove, they will be they will express that nastiness in some other way because they have this tendency not only to not confront it with others, but not to confront it in themselves. So, they're not confronting some elements of their own behavior and character, right? That unsavory. And as a result, it becomes subconscious, and it starts to manifest in their lives in an unconscious way.

[00:06:57]And so, yeah, essentially, these nice people are often very much not nice if you give them a lot of time and you get to know them properly. And this is really why true leadership requires a certain kind of self-transcendence of the ego. Because if the entirety of what you're doing is for appearances in order to appear nice and to get approval from others, then it it prevents you from doing what's really good because often what's good, as I've said, and as is completely obvious, is kind of offensive. It requires you to confront things and to do things that may be uncomfortable in the moment, but are done for the greater good. And that's what we need in political leaders. And we can see the same thing manifesting geopolitically. Essentially, it is not protecting yourself, right?

[00:07:46]And it is allowing others to walk all over you, and then thinking that you're a good person for for doing that. Or because you're so nice that you'll put yourself down in other in order for other people to get what they want. And so we're doing that all of the time in politics. It's the way that our politicians, unfortunately, approach absolutely everything. And this is the reason why we're losing, ultimately. And that's not good, right? It doesn't create good outcomes. It creates suffering because we do not confront, right, harsh truths about reality, harsh truths about other countries, harsh truths about other cultures, harsh truths about ourselves sometimes as well, right, that would allow us to succeed and then benefit the world as we have in the past. The latest example of this in British politics is the new Prime Minister Andy Burnham. And Andy Burnham comes across as a proper nice bloke, a really nice nice lovely man.

[00:08:44]But that scares me, right? Because I know that that exact kind of mentality, that exact kind of personality type, will produce harm, right, because they will not confront they will not have the confidence, the self-confidence, um to be to to appear to not be this nice bloke and actually confront the harsh truths that we have to in order to create a good down the road. And so Andy Burnham, but it's not just Andy Burnham, it's basically every politician in the entirety of the Labour Party and right through our politic politics, civil service, and our culture in general, right, right across our civilization.

[00:09:23]It's a fundamental mistake that's being made. And we keep electing these nice people. And you know what they say?

[00:09:30]Nice guys finish last. Why is that?

[00:09:33]Well, it's because other people will take advantage. They will go and get what's good for them. And if you're there going, "Oh, I'm such a nice person. Yes, yes, have whatever you want. I'm not going to confront things because that would That would mean that I'm a mean person, a bad person." Right?

[00:09:51]Essentially, what happens is you just lose. Yeah, you finish last. And that's what's happening with us. Now, the interesting thing is if you zoom out, you see that it's not only politicians, but the entire establishment that is essentially trying to put into place laws and situations where we're all forced to be nice.

[00:10:10]So, we're forced not to address uh the harms of Islam, for example. So, we put in Islamophobia laws. Right? It's It's this idea that we cannot confront, we should not talk about things because that's offensive and that's being mean, and we should all be really nice people all of the time, and then everything will be fine. But, that's completely incorrect. It's not the way that the world works at all. So, this is This shouldn't be news to anybody, but we're acting as if it is. And that's really It comes from this egoic perspective. It comes from this perspective within within these individuals, either in the establishment media organizations, within politics, which is that we are such nice people and we're doing such nice things. Look, we really want these nice, lovely outcomes cuz we're lovely, nice people.

[00:11:00]And so, then we're going to just demonize anybody who is offensive, who who tries to confront reality. And essentially, we'll just pretend that that's not the reality. You're not allowed to speak about it. Right? This is the nice reality we want you to believe, and we're going to force-feed it to you >> [laughter] >> via whatever mechanisms that we can.

[00:11:22]Right? We're going to control information such that everything is just lovely and nice. Right? But, what actually ends up happening is well, we just don't confront the real harsh truths of reality. Take the grooming gangs for example. Now, I want to call them something else, but YouTube won't like it. Now, but if you think about our response to that, what did we do? Well, politicians at every turn, not just politicians, civil servants, council, right, those who should care, who should confront the issue and deal with it. Essentially, they preferred to hide it, to not talk about it because that is then them being a nice person.

[00:12:00]Because if you bring to reality, right, and you actually confront these nasty, gritty, horrible things that are recurring, well, then it's going to cause offense and you're going to have to then confront and deal with it. It's going to be there in reality. And it's much nicer for them, right, more convenient, by the way, for them to just pretend that it's not happening at all.

[00:12:20]And then let's not speak about it. And then the harm continues over time, right? And then you produce really nasty outcomes by trying to be such a nice person. Let's run through some examples of how this plays out at the moment. And a lot of these examples are really the top political or cultural issues that we're facing. And this just shows how this issue of being a nice person or a good person, right, and being comfortable confronting things and being offensive potentially where it's necessary for the greater good, this is the most fundamental issue that we're facing overall. This is the real culture war and we actually have to win this one, okay? So, we have to have a change of mind of what's seen as being a good person, right? Because people are making this They're confused. They think that being a nice person is being a good person, and it's not anyway. Okay. Let's take for example transgender ideology.

[00:13:17]What's happening there? Well, the issue of gender dysphoria is a psychological issue. And of course, it's tied into hormonal imbalances and a lot of other things. But, it is fundamentally a psychological issue.

[00:13:30]But, we have these statements that are, you can be born in the wrong body. And we we allow that to be said to very vulnerable young people. Now, I can't really imagine a more harmful thing to say to a young vulnerable person that you are born in the wrong body. It means there's something fundamentally wrong with your body, with you. There's something fundamentally wrong.

[00:13:52]And that is based on a falsehood. So, if we don't confront the reality and say, "No, you're born in exactly the right body, and there's no issue other than a psychological issue, and maybe a cultural issue with regard to identification of different genders, and you know, how men can represent and women can, right? Essentially, because we haven't confronted it, we've allowed it to continue and become a very harmful thing for some of the most vulnerable people in society. What we should say is, you have a biological always be a man or you'll always be a woman, and you have this other psychological thing that's going on, right, that you can call gender, but it doesn't ever change your actual sex, and you can never change it. And then, obesity is another one. Now, we have obesity as a massive problem across society, and I think a lot of this is kind of a lack of accountability that's being taken. And this idea of I'm a victim, and there are reasons for this. And then, you know, a society that will not confront it and not become a one think it's nice to continue to allow these kinds of behaviors to to go on, right?

[00:15:00]But, ultimately, the truth is that obesity is incredibly harmful.

[00:15:05]And we have this kind of like what's it called? A fat phobic fat phobia now, which is utterly ridiculous. You have people genuinely saying that you can be healthy at any size, which is total nonsense.

[00:15:18]And we need to be comfortable knowing that we are being good people by confronting that and destroying and basically encouraging others to take accountability and to produce good situations for themselves, which means don't be a beast. Then the issue of migration, illegal migration, and open borders just generally. Now this approach of niceness often manifests as a kind of weakness, a kind of lack of assertiveness, where you won't protect yourself and lay down the law and say this is the way that it is because yeah, you have to push back against other people and potentially be quite offensive. So, this has gone completely out of control, of course, with illegal migration and men just coming into the country whenever they choose to and then us being really nice and putting them up in very nice hotels, feeding them all of these kinds of things. Now that obviously deconstructs the entirety of the social contract, okay? And and then obviously migration ties into this because it's it's offensive to say, or apparently offensive, to say that mass migration is harmful and bad because there are other migrants who live in the country who might be offended by that.

[00:16:31]And so you're not allowed to say that at all and therefore it needs to be completely open-ended and you're not a a good apparently you're not a nice person or not a good person if you confront it.

[00:16:41]The opposite is, of course, true. It is the right thing to do to confront the issue and then act accordingly. It doesn't come from a place of just hatred for everybody in the world. It comes from a place of wanting what's best for people in the United Kingdom such that we can then deliver good for the rest of the world as we have done in our history. Another example is multiculturalism.

[00:17:04]So, this is the idea that all cultures are equal and it's just a matter of perspective and it's just small-mindedness to not appreciate that all cultures are equal, which is total nonsense. Of course, some cultures are superior. I would say that British culture is superior to almost every other culture as it used to be at least.

[00:17:23]At the moment, it's completely insane.

[00:17:25]But but generally, if you look historically, right? So for example, some cultures are much more harmful. They produced more harmful results objectively, right? For women, for for many in many different ways. And the reason we have to maintain this falsehood of multiculturalism and all cultures being equally great and good is because in order to face the truth, we would have to say that some cultures are inferior and that might not be nice.

[00:17:55]That might be offensive to certain people who believe with certain beliefs and are embedded within certain other cultures that are inferior. And so it's offensive and it's not very nice, right?

[00:18:06]So you have a lot of people like Sadiq Khan, the the mayor of London's a great example, but there are many many many many others who think it's the right thing to do and that it makes them a good person to believe these falsehoods because it makes them feel good, gives them butterflies in their tummy, right?

[00:18:22]Allows them to feel like they're such nice great people. It is kind of this sign of a very fragile ego, right? A very fragile individual who's not confronting harsh truths in themselves and then becoming the kind of person who is comfortable, right? Being kind of saying things that might not be convenient.

[00:18:44]Um and so it's like a lack of confidence and a weakness in that individual. So a lot of this is tied into weakness. And it's now and that weakness is kind of manifesting across our society and politically and geopolitically.

[00:18:59]So yeah, multiculturalism is another example. It is total nonsense. I want to touch on mainstream media very quickly.

[00:19:06]So if you watch the BBC and you watch all of these mainstream media outlets, it's all smiley smiley nicey nicey, lovely, lovely people, right? All the presenters, they're just like in this competition of who can be the nicest person, right? And as a result, these media organizations, that are often kind of news organizations as well, they won't confront things. They won't report on things that are gritty and dark and nasty, right? And uncomfortable. And cut counter to this nice attitude that they have, this view that they see this way they see themselves. So, there there's just so many examples. Anyway, hopefully I've been clear. I've gone on enough. Um and I think ultimately, as a culture, we need to get much more comfortable being offensive, safe in the knowledge that that is actually being a good person, as long as it comes from a position of general compassion, which for me it it does, right? You've got to really think about these things.

[00:20:00]As long as it's not just like a kind of prejudice of I just want to be mean. I think most of the time it's that's not the case. Obviously, the nice people, the nice guys, will often say, "Oh, well, anybody who's doing that, who's being confrontational, they're just they're just mean, nasty people. It's always coming from a position of hate."

[00:20:19]But, that is absolutely not the case.

[00:20:21]It's completely incorrect. Okay.

[00:20:24]Right. I hope you enjoyed that video.

[00:20:26]Thank you so much for watching. Please like the video if you did like it and subscribe to my channel if you're not already and you'd like to hear more from me. Also, hyping the video really helps.

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[00:20:35]Okay.

[00:20:36]Thank you so much for watching. Until next time.

[00:20:39]Cheers.