Stop Wasting Your Time background Music? The Truth Is You Fear Silence

Added: 2026-05-31

[00:00:00]If you can't clean, drive, walk, or just be without some kind of input, that's worth paying attention to. It's not that music is bad, but it's what you may be unconsciously covering up with the music that we want to investigate.

[00:00:21]Humans have never been so connected or so over stimulated. We wake up and immediately reach for our phone. We drive with music or podcast going. We stand in line and scroll through Instagram. We work with YouTube in the background on our computers. We clean with music. We fall asleep to Netflix.

[00:00:43]There's almost no space left where we're simply with ourselves anymore.

[00:00:49]And because it's become normal, we don't even notice it.

[00:00:56]And when it comes to cleaning, it's no different. Most of us do this without thinking. We put on our favorite jam to get in the groove while we clean, to make it more enjoyable, pass the time to get through it. But if you look a little closer, it's not the cleaning we're trying to get through. It's the experience or quality of being while we do our cleaning that we're avoiding.

[00:01:26]Cleaning is simple. It's monotonous, unsexy, repetitive, slow. It's quiet.

[00:01:32]And because of that, it's great at bringing you back to yourself.

[00:01:39]And for a lot of people, that's an uncomfortable place to be.

[00:01:44]Because when it gets quiet and we're bored and we have nothing to distract or entertain us, things start to bubble up.

[00:01:54]Thoughts we've been avoiding, old regrets, embarrassing memories, maybe even things we haven't fully processed yet.

[00:02:02]And instead of staying with that, we seek refuge in the noise. Not because we need it, but because we don't want to feel all the feels.

[00:02:14]So what looks like a harmless habit is often a form of escape, a subtle one, but it begins to add up.

[00:02:23]Because if every quiet moment gets filled, there's never any space to actually meet yourself.

[00:02:31]And over time that creates a kind of a distance or disconnect or fracture from your thoughts, from your emotions, from your life, from yourself.

[00:02:45]But cleaning doesn't have to be something you escape from. It can be something you return to. It's an opportunity to practice being here, being you, all of you.

[00:03:00]Just this simple act of washing the dishes, wiping the counter, sweeping the floor, not rushing through it, not distracting yourself from it, but just doing what's in front of you with total awareness becomes a container that allows the full range of who you are to be and to be witnessed.

[00:03:28]And now that you have created the conditions for all the parts of you to be, do you have the discipline to stay there and be there for yourself?

[00:03:40]This can be accomplished by staying with the task, staying with the moment, staying with yourself, with your breath.

[00:03:49]The impulse will come up to grab your phone, to start the music, maybe to run.

[00:03:56]Uh but discipline is simply noticing this impulse and coming back to the breath, coming back to the moment, back to yourself, noticing and returning.

[00:04:09]This doesn't mean we need to become disciplinary watchd dogs for the rest of our lives. But the discipline to start and be there for yourself will help you build a life that doesn't require constant escape.

[00:04:23]And I want to be clear, there's nothing wrong with music. Music is the best.

[00:04:28]It's healing. It's joyful. This isn't about becoming rigid or extreme. It's about noticing when stimulation becomes dependency when silence starts feeling uncomfortable.

[00:04:44]So there's a reason, you know, why simple tasks show up in so many different spiritual practices and traditions. cooking, cleaning, gardening, just repeating these small, mundane, ordinary tasks. Take your pick.

[00:05:00]There's nothing really special about the task inherently.

[00:05:03]Uh it's not really so important what you do as it is how you do it. And these tasks train your attention and awareness. They invite you back to the here and now.

[00:05:17]And then every wipe of the cloth or sweeping of the broom becomes ripe with the fruits of reflection, insight, healing, understanding, clarity.

[00:05:29]In Zen monasteries, cleaning is one of our fundamental practices. It's not because, you know, monks enjoy chores more than everyone else, but because simple repetitive tasks reveal the state of your mind. Are you rushing? Are you resisting?

[00:05:48]complaining all the time, distracted cleaning becomes a mirror and what was once unconscious is now clear and illuminated.

[00:06:01]And then something else happens.

[00:06:03]Maybe after you get used to things, you stop running.

[00:06:08]Your body and your being knows you are finally showing up for yourself.

[00:06:15]And those thoughts, feelings, regrets that come up, they're not there to overwhelm you or torture you, they're there because they haven't been given space.

[00:06:27]When you stop drowning them out, they can begin to process, to transform, to heal slowly, naturally, of their own accord.

[00:06:38]All they needed was for you to create space and bear witness by lending them your awareness and attention.

[00:06:48]But fair warning, at first it's going to get louder.

[00:06:52]You become more aware of your restlessness, your anxiety, your unresolved emotions.

[00:07:00]But if you stay with it, breathe breath after breath, eventually things begin to settle and the silence can become your sanctuary.

[00:07:12]So all of this hopefully has been a nice talk. Uh maybe entertaining at best, inspiring, but Zen isn't about talking about it. It's about doing.

[00:07:24]So mini challenge here. Next time you clean the kitchen, wash the dishes, or fold the laundry, skip the music, skip the podcast. Show up with curiosity and awareness.

[00:07:40]Just you and your mess and your discipline to stay and be for a moment with all of it.

[00:07:51]You might find that being uncomfortable with silence finally allows you to be comfortable with being yourself.