This story illustrates how political duty and power can destroy personal relationships, as an emperor who once vowed to love only one woman ultimately chose his throne over his beloved empress, leading to her lonely death and his lifelong regret.
Deep Dive
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Deep Dive
The emperor never loved any woman, yet he went mad for this mermaid-like concubine.Added:
The emperor past scales on my body every day. The edges of the scales pierce my skin and beads of blood. He won't stop until I'm covered in scales. Then the emperor orders me to swim in the water.
The scales on my body shimmer with a glistening light. Every day decades passed in a flash. Unknowingly, we both grew old, our hair long turned white.
The bed is warm. I lie side by side with the emperor, separated by only a shallow inch of distance. He holds my hand tightly, unwilling to let my fingertips gently trace the lines on the back of my hand over and over as if touching those distant years. After a long while, Xiao Jing Yuan finally spoke slowly, his tone tinged with melancholy.
>> You still remember our first meeting?
>> My thoughts slowly drifted back to the year we first met. That year, the notice for the crown prince's concert selection was posted on the city that came upon hearing the news was packed. I squeezed into the outer edge of the crowd, stood on tiptoe, and strained to read the words on the Shu Yuan's daughter, vice minister. I should have been a noble young lady from an official family. But my father was framed, stripped of his real power, left with only a nominal position. Our family's fortunes plummeted. Your father has let you down, making you suffer along with me. You must seize this opportunity in the consort.
>> I nodded heavily. The bulletin board was crowded with noble ladies and their servants. I wore a plain dress washed until it was standing in the crowd. I looked out of place. The crowd gradually dispersed, but I remained standing in front of the bulletin board, my heart filled with confusion and anxiety. A figure suddenly brushed up beside me. It was a little beggar in tattered clothes.
He seemed about 15 or 16. His hair was a mess, and his face was covered in dust, but his eyes held a sharp alertness and steadiness. He ignored the notice, staring straight at me. His gaze held a hint of scrutiny.
>> "Miss, are you here to compete for crown princess?"
>> I was taken aback for a moment, then nodded. He smiled. He took out a rough sugar figurine from his pocket and handed to me.
>> Have something sweet. It might make you feel better.
>> I hesitated, took it, and thanked himself.
>> I took a bite of the sugar figurine. The sweet taste spread on my tongue. A satisfied smile instantly lit my face.
His gaze fell on my face. A faint smile touched his lips.
>> "The concert's path is tough. You seem troubled, miss." I looked at him, couldn't help asking how he knew.
>> I can tell just by looking at you. Your brows are furough. Clearly, your trouble and your gaze has been fixed on that notice.
>> He paused, his gaze falling on my hand, tightly clutching the corner of my dress.
>> Comforted me, saying, "Those well-dressed noble ladies laugh. They're just empty shells relying on their family's influence. What the crown prince truly wants is someone who can understand him and assist him." Finally, he told me not to cater to others in tomorrow's re-examination. Show your own unique insights, and you'll naturally stand out. I was deeply moved by his words. His perspective was unique and profound. I looked at him, my heart filled with admiration and curiosity.
>> Trust me once. Do as I say tomorrow and you'll definitely pass.
>> He turned to leave. I called out to stop him. Wait, may I ask your name so I can repay you in the future? He turned back and looked at me deeply. His eyes were inscrutable.
>> No need to repay. We'll meet again if fate allows.
>> With that, he turned and melted into the crowd and soon disappeared from sight.
Holding my sugar figurine, I stood before the bulletin board. I was stunned for a while. His words echoed repeatedly in my mind. It all became clear. The next day's poetry gathering was at Chiang Garden outside the spring. little beggar's advice, not catering to others.
Instead, I linked it to people's heart, my own thoughts, sincere words, unique insights. Sure enough, my answer received unanimous praise from the examiners, and I passed the poetry gathering. The following rounds of assessments came one after another.
Strangely enough, before each assessment, I would always run into that little beggar. He would always inadvertently reveal the key to the assessment during casual conversation.
So accurate, it amazed me. To thank him, I especially brought him steaming hot meat buns and candied fruit. His eyes lit up when he saw he took out a little rabbit woven from grass from his pocket.
The craftsmanship wasn't exactly lifelike. I took the grass woven rabbit.
Feeling sweet inside, and carefully tucked it into my pocket. I said softly, "Thank you. I owe it all to you every time." He grinned, picked up a meat bun, and took a big bite. Sunlight fell on his dusty face, making it look exceptionally bright. Consort selection grew stricter. By the final palace exam, only a few remained. It was held in the hall of golden chimes. I stood in the hall, looking at the solemn and majestic scene before nervous, sweaty palms. The palace exam question was unusual. I pondered hard, but couldn't find a clue.
Just when I was at a loss, I accidentally caught sight of a familiar figure standing among the ranks. It was a young man wearing magnificent court robes. Sharp eyebrows, bright eyes, extraordinarily dressed properly. I recognized him at a glance that little beggar from the streets. I was so shocked I couldn't speak. While I was stunned, he quietly pointed to his own chest. It was a gesture only I understood, meaning follow your heart. I suddenly understood.
>> I calmed myself, gathered my thoughts, and began to explain my views clearly.
exam results announced. I ranked high, holding my breath for the appointment when a familiar figure stepped from the officials ranks. He bowed to the emperor and empress.
>> Father, mother, your son disguised himself as a beggar to observe the consort selection, all to find a true-hearted person.
>> He walked straight up to me, his intense gaze fixed on me.
>> Chinga, from the day I handed you the sugar figurine on the street, I knew it was you.
>> He grasped my hand tightly. He turned and announced to all, >> "Lie Chingao is the only true love of my life. I humbly request father and mother's approval to appoint her as crown princess." The emperor and empress smiled at each other and the emperor declared >> granted.
>> He leaned down and chuckled at his eyes filled with starlight.
>> Congratulations, my crown princess.
>> At that moment, I felt like the happiest person in the world. Sunlight through the hall of golden chimes windows shining on Shiao Jing Yuan and me warm and dazzling. Life after marriage was sweet and warm. Shiao Jinguan doted on me immensely. He watched sunrises and sunsets with me and do my brows. Take care of me day and night when I was sick. Once recalling the sugar figurine he gave me at our first meeting, I couldn't help but laugh. Your highness, when you were disguised as a beggar, could you make sugar figurines? Xiao Jinguan was stunned. A smile spread across his face. He booped my nose, told me to wait. A few days later, he made a sugar figurine himself and gave it.
Although it was a bit crooked, I thought it tasted just as sweet as before.
Watching me eat happily, his eyes were full of adoration.
>> From now on, I'll make you a sugar figurine every year for a lifetime.
>> Not long after old emperor died, Shiao Jing Yuan became emperor. Appointed empress, I moved into the Phoenix. At the beginning of his reign, the court was unarious factions were restless.
Prime Minister Mong and officials petitioned, citing heirs and court balance, requesting the emperor.
Shiao Jing Yuan didn't hesitate for a moment. He declared, "Before all, I alone would be his empress for life.
Should the realm fall, it was his own incompetence as nothing to do with the empress. He would never wrong me for the sake of so-called power balance." These resolute words greatly shocked all the court officials. Mong never expected the emperor to be so firm, speechless. For my sake, Shiao Jinguan dismissed several stubborn old men, repeatedly offered advice, stabilized the court with swift actions, and silenced the gossip. News reached the Phoenix Palace. Embroidering by the window, hearing the maid's report, my hand paused slightly. The needle pricked my fingertips. A drop of bright red blood welled up. After court, Shiao Jing came to Phoenix Palace at once. Seeing the cut on my fingertip, he took my hand, heartache, and gently blew on it.
>> How could you be so careless?
>> Your majesty, for my sake, you've made enemies of the entire court. Was it worth it?
>> Not just making enemies of the officials. Even if I had to give up everything, I'd be willing. I want everyone to know that my empress is you and only you.
>> Tears filled my eyes. Then I knew I hadn't loved the wrong person. From then on, the herm truly had Shiao Jinguan came straight to Phoenix Palace for me.
We reviewed memorials together.
discussed state affairs. He would patiently listen to my opinions. Even if they were some immature ideas, he would take them seriously. Once I suggested reducing taxes, let the people recuperate. After careful consideration, he adopted my suggestion. After the policy was implemented nationwide, people lived and worked in peace throughout the court and country.
Everyone said they had never seen an emperor and empress so deeply in love.
Our story was compiled into plays and spread through streets and alleys, becoming a tale of envy for all. In our third year married, I gave birth to a son for him. Shiao Jinguan was overjoyed. He named our son Shiao Chengu, meaning blessed by heaven, hoping he would have peace and smooth sail. Two years later, I gave birth to a daughter for him. We named her Shaoling Xi, nicknamed Shier. With both a son and a daughter, Xiao Jingu endoted on me even more. He would personally teach Chen Yu to read and write and carry Sierre for walks in the Imperial Guard with her. Our days were peaceful and happy. Time flew and decades passed in the blink of an eye. Changing Yu had grown up honest and kind, quite like Shiao Jing Yuan in demeanor. He was appointed crown prince. Sher also married into a good husband was gentle and doted on her immensely. Our grandchildren were born one after another. During festivals, the Phoenix Palace was always filled with laughter and joy. My eyesight gradually blurred and it became harder to see things.
Shiao Jing Yuan would set aside time everyday to read plays. He always read the same few plays, my favorites from my youth, over and over again. I even remember the missing corner on a certain page. While he was reading, I fell asleep. When I woke up, I found him still sitting by the bed, gently holding my hand, looking at me tenderly.
>> Your majesty, why didn't you wake me?
>> You were sleeping so soundly, I couldn't bear to wake you. You still love listening to my stories, just like when you were young.
>> I leaned against his chest and said softly, >> "I love listening to anything your majesty reads."
>> His legs weren't as nimble as before, and he walked with a slight limp. I joined his daily walks in the Imperial Garden, supporting him as we walked slowly but steadily. I caught a cold, coughing and feeling weak all over.
Shiao Jing Yuan anxiously paced around stay by my bedside day and night, personally feeling more nervous than the imperial physician.
>> The medicine is a bit bitter. Please bear with it.
>> He scooped a spoonful of medicine in it.
then carefully brought it to my lips.
Browning, I drank it. He quickly offered a candied fruit.
>> Have a piece of candied fruit to ease the bitterness.
>> Under his meticulous care, I recovered quickly. On the night of his 80th birthday, a grand birthday banquet was held in the house. After the banquet, he pulled me back to Phoenix Pal. We sat by the window, gazing at the bright.
>> Thank you for accompanying me through so many storms and hardships. Thank you for always being by my side.
>> I watched him with tears welling up in my eyes. He pulled me into his embrace.
I leaned against his warm chest. A contended smile played on my lips as my eyes slowly closed. A similar smile graced Xiao Jing Yuan's face in his sleep. My arms tightened unconsciously.
Felt no solid form. Yow.
>> Shiao Jing Yuan jolted awake, drenched in cold sweat. He instinctively looked to his side. It was empty. Only cold silk remained.
>> Chinga, where are you?
>> No one answered. An inexplicable panic seized him. Shiao Jing Yuan staggered out of bed, barefoot on the cold tiles.
He stumbled toward the outer hall, knocking over a seladon vase beside the screen, sending his blood seeping out.
Yun Wong and rushed in at the sound and threw himself to the floor. Xiao Jing Yuan grabbed him by the collar.
>> Where is the empress? Where is my empress?
>> Wong Anne, terrified by the madness in his eyes, trembled all over.
>> Your majesty, what did you say? Liing Yao, my empress, she was just by my side. Where is she?
>> The old Unic's lips trembled, her hair disheveled, robes a skew. Tears streamed down as he stared at the frenzied emperor with bloodshot eyes. She cowtowed hard on >> Your Majesty. Your Majesty, have you forgotten? Empress Lee. She passed away 50 years ago.
>> Shiao Jing Yuan<unk>s hand suddenly went slack and he staggered back two steps.
>> Yes, 50 years. Ya has been gone for 50 years, >> he murmured it again, then laughed softly. A horse desolate sound. Time flows back to the first winter after Shiao Jing Yuan ascended the throne. The dragon throne was already swirling beneath the "I never saw those memorials with my own eyes," but the growing gloom in Shiao Jing Yuan<unk>s brow silently spoke of the pressures wait. He began to drift off when we were alone. His size while reviewing memorials growing heavier. Sometimes he awake at night, staring blankly at the camp. Always came to me when exhausted, burying his face deep in the crook of my neck, >> like a child seeking shelter.
>> Yowir, I will not fail you. I promised you one man, one woman for a lifetime.
>> His voice was muffled, carrying a barely perceptible tremor. I patted his back gently, as if soothing a frightened fo.
I've always believed in you. This trust seemed so pale and fragile against the increasingly tense court situation. The true storm first showed its signs when he returned from court one day.
That day he didn't go back to his bed chamber but stayed alone in the interior steely and found opening the door I found him forehead in hand lamplight shadowing his furrowed brow I walked up behind him fingertips to his temples instead of relaxing as he usually did his body stiffened slightly bothered by the concubine issue again he grabbed my wrist with his other hand his grip so strong he turned around and pulled me tightly into his embrace >> they used the stability of the realm as leverage that old fool me actually dared to threaten me with death >> his voice was laced with anger humiliation and a hint of wavering my heart suddenly sank. In the following days, rumors from the imperial court seeped through the cracks. The prime minister and senior clan members knelt, refusing to rise and invoking the state's welfare. They demanded the emperor take more consorts to produce heirs and balance the earnest words overwhelming moment. They put on a show of loyalty, ready to die for their wisdom. Shiao Jing Yuan visited my palace less. Even when he came, he seemed preoccupied and hesitant. The intimate closeness where we could talk about anything was quietly replaced by an invisible barrier between us.
It was a snowy night. Drinking of alcohol, he stumbled into Fangi Palace.
After sending all the palace come to me, but knelt straight down before me.
Startled, I rose to help him up. Your majesty, what are you doing? He didn't get up, but looked up at me. In the candle light, his eyes were bloodshot.
His cheeks flushed, yet his lips were pale and cracked. A scalding tear fell without warning, making my fingertips flinch from its teeth.
>> Yower, I'm sorry.
>> He clutched my sleeve so tightly his knuckles turned white as if it were his only lifeline. He rambled incoherently, repeating words about forcing the primary threat to dash himself against the Jinluan Hall, the realm's weight legacy.
>> Ya, I have failed you.
>> I looked at his tormented, twisted face, listening to the words that were pushing me into I thought I was mentally prepared. I thought for the sake of his throne, I could yield. But when I'm sorry, truly came from his lips. When taking a concubine became the bloody reality standing between us, that tearing pain still instantly stole my breath away.
After a long silence, I finally heard myself speak in a terrifyingly calm understand. Totally. Little by little, I withdrew my hand from his tight grasp as if the motion drained all the strength.
I turned my back to him, straightened my spine, not letting a single tremor show.
Tears streamed down silently, yet I bit my lip hard, not allowing a single softness. Your majesty is the son of heaven, and the empire must come first.
I understand. Behind me, he seemed to want to say something, but in the end, there was only suppressed choking and repeated. That powerless entrance in Fenji Palace burned until I left inside.
He knelt outside a curtain apart yet worlds away. 3 days later, the imperial decree appointed Mayuan as noble consort, requiring her to enter the house. Rain sky mirrored my mood. I sat by the window each day holding the grass rabbiting Yuan gave me when he left. The rabbit had long since faded, its edges worn, yet I had treasured it for many years. My fingertips traced the rough texture of the woven grass, as if I could still feel the warmth from back then. Palace made Wanu brings hot tea. I take it. It's a warmth touches my fingertips, but not the chill in my heart. Your majesty, have some tea to warm yourself. Don't let the rain dampen your spirits. I nod and take a small sip of the hot tea. The warmth of the tea slides down my throat, offering only a moment's comfort. May Ruo, her palace entry procession stretched for miles. A great almost as lavish as my own coronation as she wore the splendid attire of a noble consort, as if victory was already assured. Her first act upon entering the palace was to pay her respects off properly, her respectful tone laced with probing. May the empress's health be robust, a blessing for the entire empire.
>> As a newcomer, I shall trouble your majesty for guidance in the days to come. No need for formality, noble consort. Just follow the palace rules and smiles in reply. Your gaze sweeps across the furnishings of Fenji Palace, filled with appraisal and resent. After May Ruoan left, Wanu complained about noble consort May's arrogance. Upset for me, I shook my head helplessly, knowing she was the daughter of the prime minister and had every right to. From now on, I fear the herm will be anything but peaceful. The wedding night, Shiao Jing Yuan went to Yikun Palace. I sat alone on the Phoenix bed. The hall so quiet I could hear my own breathing as uncontrollable memories flooded my mind.
Bright eyes of the little beggar when I left prison. Fiery oath in the golden Luan Hall when he shed his disguise.
Those cherished memories that kept me warm in the palace's cold nights. Now they seem so pale and ridiculous. Early the next morning, Shiao Jinguan came to fend. He of alcohol, his eyes evasive, not daring to meet mine. He wanted to say something. His lips moved, but no sound came out. I spoke first. My tone calm and steady. Your majesty need not explain. The noble consort is new here.
You should come. From now on, I ask that your majesty remember. Bangi palace will always keep a light on for you. Shiao Jin Yuan looked at me, his eyes filled with gifts.
>> Rest assured, you are the only one in my heart.
>> I didn't respond, just gazed out the window, my heart occupied only with my but in the end, his heart still went to another Meuian's entry into the palace.
It was like a huge rock thrown into a seemingly calm lake. At first, only causing faint ripples. Gradually, it brewed into a storm powerful enough to devour. For the first few months, Shiao Jing Yuan seemed to try maintaining a precarious balance. His visits to Fenji Palace were less frequent than before, but he still showed up every few days.
Only the light in his eyes had dimmed considerably. Unique intimacy between us was replaced by a cautious guilt and deliberate distance. I knew Muian<unk>s illness had begun to flare up headaches, chest tightness, nightmares, and Messenger Yunic always arrived in haste just as Shiao Jing Yuan was about to enter Fenji Palace, earnestly conveying the imperial concerts discomfort and longing. At first, Shiao Jinguan would frown, "Look at me." His eyes filled with inquiry and struggle. Your majesty, go quickly, Sister May's help. My voice was calm and even, betraying no emotion.
These words were like an imperial decree. The faint struggle in his eyes quickly died out. Each time he turned to leave, his steps grew faster, more resolute.
After May Ruian entered the palace, Shiao Jing Wan frequently visited Yukun Palace with continuous rewards to balance court influence. Rare jewels and exquisite pastries were sent to Yukun Palace. The May family's influence rose rapidly with this momentum, soon stirring discontent among other counter concert. May the Empress Daajager personally intervened, citing royal lineage and court immediately urged Xiaoing to select a few more distinguished young ladies for the Xiao Jing Yuan initially refused firmly but couldn't withstand the Empress Daager's under pressure from court officials. He relented. The imperial selection decree was issued small in scale but each of the carefully chosen newcomers came from illustrious ladies with fathers and brothers in high palace, Chuyu Palace, Chongqing Palace, previously empty halls was no longer just me versus consort.
Greetings went from just as two sitting opposite to a crowd fawning over me. Yet their words were laced with hidden barbs. Sitting in the host seat watching all this, I felt utterly exhausted.
Shumping steps forward, holding a warm jade hairpin, a flattering smile on her face. Your majesty, this jade hairpin is of exquisite clarity. I thought you would surely like it. Brought it specially for you. Not to be outdone, Consort Leang presents an exquisite.
Your Majesty, these are Asanthis cakes I made with my own hands. Please have a taste. I accept them all. Thank you, sisters, for your thoughtfulness. live in harmony within the palace hereafter.
There's no need for such vermouth.
>> They verbally ascent to my teachings, but their eyes still conceal resentment and schemes. In this deep palace, the emperor's favor is exhaust all their efforts just to win a glance from Xiao Jingu. Shiao Jinguan is becoming busier and busier, dealing with the various factions in the harum, soothing the emotions of the concept. His visits to Fangi Palace grow fewer. Sometimes I don't see him for half a month. The day of my birthday was clear and crisp.
Perfect palace was decorated early as per tradition. The kitchen made some pastries I used to love. Even though we knew he likely wouldn't come, the servants still clung to a faint. They tidied the hall with extra care and lit the long sheen incense he once favored.
Crown Prince Shiao Chengu, now a half-grown youth, came specially after he presented a neatly handwritten birthday message. So childish, it was done with great care. Holding him close, I finally felt a touch of genuine warmth in my heart.
>> Father Empress, will father emperor come tonight?
>> His eyes filled with pure expectation and trust. Patted his head and smiled.
Father is busy with state affairs. His mother is happy whether he comes or not.
With your character, my birthday this year is already perfect. Even so, as night fell and the palace lanterns lit up one by one. Deep down, I still hoped his figure would appear. I changed into a gentle color dress and felt somewhat dazed while applying makeup before the mirror. It felt like those early years of marriage, that secret joy and anxiety whenever I waited for him. Time passed.
Dinner was served, cleared, reheated, and grew. The unic sent to the front court returned saying his majesty was still meeting with ministers. I felt somewhat relieved. At least he wasn't staying elsewhere. Much later, the moon reached its peak, casting pale light over the quiet courtyard. Finally, footsteps sounded outside the palace gate. My heart gave a sudden leap, and I instinctively stood up. However, the person who arrived was not Xiao Jin Yuan, but a unic with his head.
>> Your majesty, happy birthday. May you live a thousand years. His majesty sends a message. State affairs are particularly heavy today and remain unresolved.
>> Leang suddenly fell ill, and his majesty has stayed. He may not be able to attend your birthday celebration today. He specially bestows upon you a casket of South Sea pearls, 10 bolts of shoe brocade, and a pair of jade rui scepters. He will not take offense and wishes you to rest.
>> As his words fell, a deathly silence fell. Only the occasional sharp crackle of the candle flames pierce the quiet.
His majesty is most thoughtful. Please convey my gratitude for the gift. He labors over care for the herm sisters and safeguard your health. All is well here. Please ask his majesty not to worry.
>> The young unic as if pardoned promptly.
Your majesty is most considerate. I will deliver the message. I take my leave.
They withdrew and the hall doors closed heavily once again.
>> Shiao Cheng Yu had appeared beside me at some point, his little hand tightly clutching my cold. Mother is fine. Look at all the gifts father sent. I signaled the maid to open the chest. The bright pearls gleamed coldly and opulently in the candle light. Exquisite shoe brocade had intricate vibrant patterns and the jasure and smooth. But what use are these lifeless things? In the past, on my birthdays, he would clear his schedule. He made me longevity noodles himself. Not tasty at all, but I ate every bit. He'd sneak me out to see the capital's grandest lantern festival. In the crowded streets, he would hold my hand tight. He would give me quirky little trinkets filled with heartfelt me. Sometimes a rare sea shell, sometimes a unique copy of a chest, his flamboyant notes and playful comments.
Those gifts weren't worth much money, yet they were brimming with the joy and affection that belonged solely to the two of us. All that remains are these peruncter, meaningless rewards bestowed by the court.
Put it away, the workers silently carried the boxes away. The shop returned to emptiness, yet felt even emptier and more bone- chillingly cold than before. That night, I sat alone again until late. There were no tears, just exhausted. Those vivid memories that once sustained me through countless lonely nights, seemed to have faded completely tonight, becoming blurred and distant, offering no warm. From that day on, I no longer looked forward to his visit. If he came, I would keep him company with some trivial talk. If he didn't, I would read or embroider alone.
My days passed in quiet songs. Our talks slowly turned to mere formalities.
>> Empress, you've worked hard.
>> Take care, your majesty. Our once close bond where we shared everything had long been eroded by time and stop discussing court affairs or listening to my advice.
He even forgot many of our shared memories. Once I mentioned the sugar figurine he gave me upon my release, smiling as I as his memory was hazy.
Those beautiful memories we once had. He seemed to stop caring altogether.
At that moment, my heart sank completely. He had even forgotten our most precious memories. There's really no going back for us. The maids often gossip about his majesty's favorite concubine. And I, the empress, am nothing but a figurehead. Enable. I hear it all, but I never argue. Yes, I am indeed just a figurehead that symbolizes his past vows. One that maintains order in the her. I shut myself away, no longer caring where he went. Stop asking about him or seeing him, watching flowers bloom and fade daily. I remember our first meeting. Only endless size remain. Back then, he was the dashing crown prince, the young man who would do anything for me. And I was the innocent, carefree maiden, Lee Chinga, whose heart and eyes were filled in with him. They both changed, grown strange and distant.
On a summer afternoon, the sun shone bright on the pianies blooming in the imperial garden. A ride of purple and red, bustling with life as a breeze carried flow. It was a perfect time for scenery. But my chest felt tight. So I took Wanu to the Imperial Garden for a walk.
>> As I walked, I heard a clear, crisp laughter from afar. A sound that felt very familiar.
>> It was Shiao Jinguan's voice. Yet it carried a tone of doing and ease I had never heard before. Instinctively stopped in my tracks, a complex emotion stirring me. You noticed my hesitation and softly suggested we take another path. Let's look. We quietly circled behind the rockery and followed the sound. By the peie bushes not far away, Shiao Jing Yuan held May Ruo intimately and naturally. May Ruoan was placing a de-issed pink peie in her hair. She laughed cocketishly, her eyes and brows dancing. Shiao Jing Yuan looked down at her, his eyes filled with adoration. He gently tapped May Ruo<unk>s nose. His tone was playful.
>> "You're<unk> so mischievous."
>> May Ruo nestled in his arms and said in a sweet voice, "As long as your majesty is pleased, so he could love, just not me anymore." His past claims of helplessness and powerlessness were just excuses for his betrayal. He could be tender and gentle with someone else, smile for someone else. He could give his affection unreservedly to another person.
In front of me, he is filled with guilt and awkwardness, offering only routine greetings, followed by long silences with no topics to discuss and hurried steps eagerly. I didn't move. Just quietly watch them, watching that piercing scene. Arm in- arm, they vanished into the garden's depths. Only then did I slowly turn around and walk with unsteady steps towards back in the palace. I sat before the mirror, looking at my haggarded reflection. The once bright and lively eyes now held only numbness and sorrow. The once rosy cheeks had also lost their former radiance. The person in the mirror was so unfamiliar I could hardly recognize.
I had Wanu remove my Phoenix crown and hair pins. Wanu paused for a moment, then quickly complied, taking off the heavy phoenix crown and letting down the jet much lighter yet also strangely empty. From today on, Lie Ching Yao, who was full of hope for the emperor's favor, is dead. I am just the empress, an empress in name only. I ordered all arrangements for Shiao Jinguan in Fenji Palace removed and no light stop cooking for him. Stop waiting foolishly.
A few days later, Shiao Jinguan suddenly came to Fenji Palace and saw the desolate se were the bright lights of the past and the specially prepared refreshments. He frowned. His tone was puzzled.
>> Ya, why remove all the lights?
>> Your majesty, now with Concert May and the other sisters, I suppose the lights of Fenji Palace are noing was startled, not expecting me to say that. He hurriedly explained.
>> Have you misunderstood something?
Between Ruan and me, it's just >> just a performance for the occasion or a passing whim. Your majesty, no need to explain who you care for now anymore.
Let us each fulfill our duties and coexist peacefully. Shiao Jing Yuan<unk>s expression shifted at my cold gaze. There was guilt, helplessness, and a trace of barely concealed anger. He opened his mouth to speak, but in the end, he only told me to rest well, then turned and left. From that day on, he almost never came to Fenji Palace. only give brief instructions when here for palace affairs, then turn and leave without even an extra glance.
My heart is completely dead.
Day after day, year after year, time wears on in this deep palace. I began to devote myself to Buddhist worship, chanting sutras daily, praying for I no longer care about palace intrigues or who gains or loses favor. It's none of my concern. I only wish to find a sliver of tranquility in these lonely years.
Sometimes I recall my father's words back then. He told me to seize the opportunity of the selection to revive our family. The family has indeed been preserved because I myself have become a sacrifice to the house. Worth it. I often ask myself this. Yet I never find an answer. And now there's no turning back. My heart died completely in that moment in the impure. For the rest of my life, only endless loneliness and numbness. After my heart died, my body gradually weakened. First, it was just an occasional chill. A few coughs, a few doses of medicine would make it better.
Things were worse, confining me to my medicine, but never got better. Imperial physicians came in waves, but after checking my pulse, they only presented ineffective remedies, vaguely saying, "My illness stems from inner melancholy, that medicine is hard to cure." Shiao Jing Yuan visited me a few times. This time, he would just sit in the chair by the bed, watching me silently. His gaze was complicated, filled with guilt and worry, but lacking the tenderness of my lifeless eyes, he always seemed restless. After a short while, he would leave in a hurry, citing pressing state.
>> Your majesty, her highness's condition is worsening. Please stay with her more.
>> I wish I could, but court matters are overwhelm. I simply cannot spare the time. Take good care of her, highness.
Report to me immediately if anything changes.
>> In the end, he still chose his empire, his court. Lying on the sick bed, I heard his words without a ripple in my heart. I no longer expect his company.
Only occasionally do I recall his devoted care for me in our youth.
Remembering those solemn vows, a faint bitterness stirs in my heart. In the 12th lunar month, the capital saw its first heavy snow of the winter, and also featherike snowflakes swirled down ceaselessly day in, covering the entire forbidden city in a vast, deathly silent blanket of pure white. I icicles hung from the eaves of Fenji Palace. The first snow of this winter fell heavily.
Snowflakes danced, blanketing the imperial pal. Lying in bed, my voice was so weak. It was almost when you hurried to the window and lifted the curtain.
Her voice choked with your highness.
Look, the snow is so heavy. The whole world has turned white. I turned my head and struggled to look out the window at the swirling snowflakes.
Snowflakes fall on the branches on the palace roof. Pure and beautiful, just like my love once was. Pure and passionate yet ultimately tainted by reality and buried by time. Wanu, where do you think people go after they die?
Wanu's eyes reen, holding back tears.
Your highness, fate has its own plans.
You will surely get better. Please don't overthink it. Once you recover, let's go enjoy the snow together. I smiled without a word. I know my own body all too well. Life is like a dying candle in the wind, ready to go out at anyone. My consciousness drifts at the edge of an abyss between clarity and clarity. I can feel life slowly leaving this worn out body like sand slipping through my fingers. Impossible to hold on to or keep. In chaos, broken light flickers before my eyes. The sugar figurines from the streets of my youth, the red candles on my wedding face while drawing my brows always ends frozen by the imperial garden rockery. That glaring golden chrysanthemum and her carefree radiant smile. My body grows colder even under the thickest quilts beside the warmest stove. That chill still seeps from deep within my bones. Unstoppable. Breathing becomes terribly difficult. Each faint inhale is accompanied by a rasping sound deep in my chest like a broken bellows as if it might snap completely at any moment. Ching Hi and a few close palace mates kept watch by the bedside date.
Her eyes were red and swollen, yet she dared not shed tears in front of me.
Only repeatedly wiped my sweater drenched forehead and icy hands with a warm towel. Crown Prince Xiaoing was stopped outside the to witness such a scene. I could only occasionally hear his suppressed tearful calls. Mother, that night the snow fell with exceptional wind whipped the snowflakes, violently battering the window pains with a mournful howl, as if heaven and earth mourned for someone. The floor heating was on, charcoal crackling, yet it couldn't dispel in the slightest the boundless cold seeping from the depths of my soul. Huddled under the heavy quilts, I only felt cold, a desperate cold that threatened to freeze even my consciousness. My vision began to blur.
The people and objects before me were veiled in a gray haze, their edges melting into the dim light. Yet, my hearing seemed to become unusually sharp. I could hear the increasingly faint, increasingly sluggish heartbeat within my own. I could hear the storm raging outside. I could hear Chingi's barely suppressed, fragmented so time became thick and slow. Each moment stretched into an eternity. I knew the end was right before me. In my final moments, I often recalled the scene of our first meeting, that little beggar on the street. I remembered the rough sugar figurine he offered and the vow he made to be together just the two of us for a lifetime. Those scenes flashed through my mind like a revolving lantern so vivid it felt like yesterday bringing sweetness yet also a bone chilling. As the night deepened my breathing grew fainter and my consciousness blurred.
The maids panicked and sent for Jing Yuan. In bed I stubbornly kept my eyes open using my last ounce of strength as if waiting for the final outcome. I wanted to see him one last time, not to beg for his forgiveness, nor to voice my I just wanted to see if this man whom I loved and resented all my life would come to see me one last time before I died. Time passed minute by minute and the snow fell heavy. The world outside the window was silent, say for the soft rustle of falling. Finally, the unic sent to deliver the message returned. He knelt before the bed, head voice trembling uncontrollably.
>> Your highness, his majesty, his majesty just said Consort May's red plum blossoms invited her to admire the snow.
He said he said for your highness to rest well and that he will visit you another day.
>> Another day? I sneered inwardly. I have no another day.
>> During those words, the last threat of tension holding me finally snapped. I closed my eyes, a desolate smile touching my lips. In the end, he still chose Mayo. The man who once promised me a lifetime. In my final moments, he is in another's tender embrace, laughing as he watches the wind. This is for the best. With no more attachments, no more regrets, I can finally be free.
The snow outside the window fell heavier as if trying to bury all the filth and heartlessness within the house.
>> I felt my body growing lighter like a feather drifting into the distance. I saw my younger self, that little beggar on the streets. I saw the sugar figurine from our first meeting, the starlight when we made our vows. So the most beautiful times truly remained at the very beginning. I died only 30 years old. When I died, not a single relative was by my side, only a few weeping palaces. The candle light in Fangi Palace flickered in the wind and snow and finally went out. to my fragrant soul along with the swirling snow dissipated within this palace that had imprisoned me my whole life. 22nd year of January 17 passed away in Fenji Palace at the age of my soul floated lightly above Fenji Palace watching the bustling crowd below. The funeral bell of Fenji Palace told Dolly one after another piercing through the raging snowstorm spreading throughout the entire palace carrying endless time. Shiao Jinguan was embracing Muoan warming wine and admiring the snow. The warm chamber was cozing blazing fire the table full of fine pastries and wine. May Ruoan nestled in his arms, laughing and chatting softly as he poured wine for her.
>> Your majesty, the red plum blossoms against the white snow are never seen such a sight. Shiao Jinguan smiled, sipped his wine, and looked at the red plum blossoms. He felt inexplicably restless. He kept feeling an emptiness in his heart, as if something important was missing, making him restless and uneasy. A unic stumbled and scrambled into the warm chamber. His face was deathly pale, and his voice trembled with sobs, barely.
>> Your majesty, the empress, has passed away. Shiao Jingu<unk>s wine cup fell to the ground, shattering into pieces. The wine splashed onto his dragon robe, but he didn't even roughly pushed Mayo aside, his eyes fierce as he glared at the unic and shouted sternly.
>> She's just ill. How could she be dead?
>> The unic trembled in fear, kneeling on the ground and cowtowing repeatedly until his forehead soon bled.
>> Majesty, it's true. The maids from Fangi Palace came to report it themselves. The empress has already stopped breathing.
>> Shiao Jinu<unk>s mind went blank, buzzing with noise. He couldn't believe it. Ya, always gentle and supportive of him. That Yower to whom he once vowed to be together for a lifetime. That Yower whom he thought would always be there waiting for him. How could she suddenly stumbled out of the warm chamber disregarding the swirling snowstorm?
Disregarding the ankle deep snow, he ran like a madman towards Fenji Palace.
He hadn't walked that road in a long time. The once familiar path now felt incredibly long. Snowflakes fell on his face, icy and biting. Yet, he felt no chill at all. Only one thought filled his mind. Ya cannot be dead. They must have made a mistake. They must have.
When he rushed into Fenji Palace, all he saw was a sea of white. The palace maids were all dressed in morning clothes, kneeling and weeping, their cries rising and falling, heart-wrenching, and his ya lay quietly on the bed, her face as pale as paper, utterly lifeless, as if she were merely asleep, yet she would never wake again. Shiao Jing Yuan, horarssely calling my name. His voice was hoar beyond recognition, staggering as he knelt by the bedside.
>> His hand trembled as he reached to check my breath. That chilling emptiness was like a sharp blade. It instantly pierced his heart, leaving him in breathless agony. He shook his head, frantically rocking my body with a force that almost seemed to break me apart.
>> No, it can't be. Yao or wake up. I order you to wake up. Lee Chinga, do you hear me?
>> But no matter how he shook or called, the person on the bed gave no response.
I just lay there quietly, indifferent to everything in the outside world. Shiao Jinguan finally noticed I'm just skin and bones. My once bright and lovely face was now just a sickly salow yellow.
My eye sockets were sunken, devoid of anything. My hands were clenched tightly as if holding something in my palms. He carefully pried my hands open. He saw a withered, yellowed, and frayed grasswoven rabbit. He gave it to me when he was released. He'd nearly forgotten, but I've kept it all these years.
>> Yower!
>> Holding my cold body. He let out an inhuman whale. Tears poured down, soaking my clothes and that grasswoven rabbit. Remorse, pain, despair, all these emotions erupted at this moment, completely overwhelming him, leaving him almost. I remembered our first meeting when he was disguised as a beggar and the warmth and kindness I showed handing him a surprise and shyness in my eyes when he publicly confessed his feelings to me. I recall the gratitude and reliance in my eyes after he championed me against all opposition. He recalled my hurt and loneliness when he missed my birth due to concert shoe. He remembered playing and laughing with me Ruo in the J resolute sorrowful departure. He remembered my numb lifeless eyes during my serious illness. On the few occasions he recalled my last moments he was with me Ruo and admiring snow. Didn't even see me one last time. He had killed with his own hands the girl whose heart and eyes were once filled only with him. So his so-called helplessness, his so-called imperial duty, just excuses for breaking his vows. So what he lost was the person who loved him most in this world, the only light in his life.
The old unic knelt nearby, watching the emperor's heartbroken. He whispered words of consolation, but Shiao Jing Yuan paid him no. He just held my body tightly, calling my name over and over again.
>> Ya, I'm sorry. I was wrong. Please come back. All right. I'll never lie to you again. I don't want anything else, just you. But no matter how he repented or pleaded, he could never get a response from me again. I left him forever, filled with disappointment and sorrow.
He held me and sat by the cold phoenix bed all night. The snow stopped outside and the sky bright. The first ray of sunlight shone through the window into the hall, falling into his bloodshot eyes. But it brought no warm, only endless cold and darkness. He knew his world would from then on be filled with endless regret with no more light. After my funeral, Shiao Jinguan ordered a thorough investigation. When he learned from Wanu that before I died, I had sent someone to desperately beg him to see me one last time. He used accompanying Nuan to enjoy the snow as an excuse and didn't even leave a single word of farewell. He spat out a mouthful of blood on the spot and collapsed. After waking up, he became completely different. That heroic, majestic, calm, and composed emperor vanished without a trace.
In his place was a violent, paranoid madman consumed by remorse and agony. He rushed to the Yikun Palace immediately.
At that time, Muian was still admiring the red plum blossoms by the window. A smoke showed not a hint of sorrow over Liinga's death. Seeing Shiao Jing Yuan burst in covered in sharp murderous intent his eyes fierce like a demon startle hell. May Ruo quickly rose to blame. If not for you, Ya wouldn't have died. If not for you, I wouldn't have missed seeing Yao one last time.
>> Terrified out of her wits by him. May Ruian<unk>s legs gave way. She knelt on the ground. Her face majestic. I'm innocent. The empress's death has nothing to do with me. Shiao Jing Yuan walked toward me step by step. His gaze I see.
>> Had you not vied for favor and bewitched me? How could Ya fall so ill from sorrow? If not for your praise of these red plum blossoms, I wouldn't have missed her last moments.
>> He grabbed May Ruo by the hair and dragged her to the window, forcing her to look at the blooming red plum tree.
>> You like these red plums and gaze at them for life forever in the cold palace.
>> That day, Xiao Jinguan decreed to strip Muan of her consort title and her cold palace for life.
>> After dealing with May Ruoan, she turned her attention to the other concubines in the Jinuan sat on the golden throne, his cold gaze fixed on the kneeling concubine. His tone was ice cold.
Empress, her death was caused by your petty jealousies and the chaos you brought to the her. From this day forward, all concubines are to be dismissed and sent to the royal temple for a life of penance. Never to return to the palace.
>> The officials were shocked and stepped forward to plead, saying the haram had committed no great punishment risks resentment and court instability.
>> Wrong. Your greatest mistake was ever entering the palace, ever disturbing ya and me. My word is law. Whoever dares to plead again will face my wrath.
>> The officials were terrified into silence by the madness and sharpness.
They could only watch him issue the decree. The vast harum was emptied overnight, leaving him alone. The once bustling, contentious palace became vast and desolate. Only the winds mournful howl against the palace walls remained as if lamenting endlessly moved into the Fenji Pal. He slept in my bed, covered himself with my quilts, and used the objects I had used. As if by doing so, he could preserve my scent and feel traces of my former prison. While reviewing memorials, he would often habitually turn to ask for my thoughts.
Only endless silence answered him. This would jolt him awake, plunging him into deeper agony and despair. He would sit by the window, watching the flowers bloom and wither outside for an entire day. His eyes are empty as if he has lost his soul. Sometimes he talks to a tree or smiles at a stone. As if that tree, that stone were me. Look, these pianies are blooming beautifully, just like the ones you loved most back then.
Ya, the imperial kitchen made your favorite osmanthus cakes today. I saved some for you. Try them, ya. I was wrong.
Please come back to me. I won't be emperor anymore. I just want to be with you. Even if it's a simple life with plain food.
>> The palace servants often see him wandering alone in the imperial garden.
Sometimes smiling, sometimes sometimes muttering to himself, sometimes screaming wildly as if he's gone mad. He hung all my portraits in my bed to when I became empress. Each one is lifelike.
He spends all day tracing my eyes and brows from the portraits. As he paints, tears fall unconsciously, dampening the paper and soaking his robes. He started hallucinating. Sometimes he sees me in a plain dress, smiling at him by the window. Gentle gaze as always. Sometimes he hears my voice softly calling his name so clearly it feels like I'm right beside him. Sometimes he feels me sitting beside him, gently holding his hand, the warmth of my fingertips feeling real. At such moments he would become exceptionally gentle, carefully cherishing this illusion, afraid that if he reached out, I would vanish. But an illusion is just an illusion. After waking from the dream, only endless emptiness and pain remain, swallowing the whole splendor endure. But his world has long since completely collapsed with no leeching out. This vast empire, this supreme power, to him is nothing but meaningless emptiness. Time flows on. 50 years have passed in the blink of an eye. Shiao Jing Wan is now 80 years old.
His hair has long turned gray, his face deeply lined with wrinkles. His once upright posture has become hunched, his steps unsteady. He still lives in Fenji Palace, guarding the person who no longer exists. Guarding memories and illusions. As he grows older, his memory begins to falter. The pain of reality intertwines with false illusions.
His subconscious begins to weave a grand life for him, a flawless dream. He begins to remember that back then he did not yield to the officials did not bring may opposition held fast to his vow to meet the six palaces empty with me as the only one. He remembers how he dismissed the stubborn silent old minister under immense pressure. how he used decisive measures to stabilize the court and silence the recalls how they weathered storms together governing the realm side by side watching their children grow into adults welcoming the birth of their grandchildren heading straight to Fenji Palace after court to find me where we reviewed discussed together affairs shared emotions and were not only spouses but also the most seamless he recalls their life simple yet happy he'd read me stories letting me sleep on I would accompany him on walks supporting him along every path in the Imperial secretly hide sweets the Imperial physician forbade acting like a child caught in the act when I When I got a chill, he would stay by my bedside day and night, personally feeding me medicine more. In the end, we walked hand in hand into old age, just as we first met.
>> This dream felt so real, the details so vivid, so real that he became completely immersed, even starting to believe these were true events. He often spoke to the air as if I were right beside him, never having left.
>> Ya, look. Our grandson is so big now.
Ya, look how big our grandson has grown.
Just as honest and simple as Changu was in his childhood.
>> He pointed at the empty seat, a kind smile on his face. The servants seeing him like this sighed inwardly, but none dared to point out the truth. They knew that this dream was the only pillar keeping the old emperor alive. Once shattered, his life would come to an end. Once when Crown Prince Shiao Jing Yu came to visit, he saw him talking to an empty seat, smiling at thin air. He couldn't help but choked out.
>> Father Mother has has been gone for 50 years.
>> Shiao Jing Yuan sharply cut him off, his gaze fierce, filled with unquestionable.
>> Your mother is right here. How can you speak such nonsense? Do you also wish to betray me? Shiao Ching Yu saw the pain and stubbornness in his father's clouded eyes. In the end, he swallowed the rest of his words. He knew his father had lived his entire life in regret and longing for his mother. This dream was his final solace. Shiao Jing Yuan<unk>s dream grew clearer and more vivid. He even saw me with gray hair, saw me smiling at him, saw the wrinkles at the corners of my eyes. He heard me laughingly say his eyes were f. That scene opened the story. The bed was warm. He and I lay side by side with only a shallow inch between us. He held my hand tight, tracing the lines on my hand.
Yaor, you're still young.
>> Your Majesty, your eyes are failing. No one but your majesty would call an 80year-old woman young. Looking at my smile, his heart was filled with contentment and happiness.
He feels it's wonderful to have me by his side for a lifetime. No regrets, no remorse. This 50year long dream is an anesthetic he prescribed. lives in this dream. Sometimes as a blissful oxygenarian, growing old with his beloved, enjoying the joys of family life, sometimes as a remorseful young emperor, tormented by his own betrayal, unable to forgive himself. He's torn between two worlds. Yet he never wants to wake up, nor dares to. He fears waking up. Afraid to face the cruel reality that I have long been dead.
Afraid to face the truth that he destroyed everything with his own hand.
Afraid to lose the soul spiritual comfort. Until the day of his 80th birthday, the power of the dream reached its peak and met its ultimate shattering. After the birthday banquet, he returned to Fenji Palace, lay on the bed, held my hand, and gradually dropped sleep. We still looked as young as we once were, meeting on the streets of the capital. He disguised himself as a beggar, handed me a rough sugar figurine, and I showed a sweet smile. My eyes at that very moment, the dream suddenly saw my figure gradually blur and become transparent. Finally turning into a wisp of smoke, dissipating into the air, leaving no trace behind. He jolted awake, drenched in cold sweat, his heart pounding wildly. He instinctively reached out to touch the space beside him, but only felt the cold emptiness of the bedding. The bed chamber is empty with no trace of me.
The 50-year dream shattered completely at this moment. He must finally face this cruel reality. After waking from that terrifying dream, Shiao Jing Yuan's health declined.
>> He's no longer mad, no longer murmuring to the air, no longer lost in the false dream. He just sat by the window everyday, gazing toward Fenji Palace with hollow, sorrowful eyes. Like a soulless statue, he was finally completely awake. Clearly remembering how I died. Clearly remembering the despair and grief I felt before. Clearly remembering that for 50 years he had lived in a self-deceiving dream. This clarity is more cruel and fatal than any pain. It is like a blunt knife, making his life worse. Knowing his days were numbered, he began arranging his affairs and issued two decrees. First decree, postumously named me Empress Xiaochin Ren Yuan, enshrined in the imperial ancestral temple grant the highest honor to make up for all the grievances and injustice I suffer. I may receive the respect I deserve after. Second decree, his imperial mausoleum must leave the empress's place vacant, just an uninscribed spell for me. He is unworthy of sharing a tomb with me. His sins are too heavy. They would defile my purity and my life's merits and faults should not be written by that unfaithful man.
The blank still is his final repentance and last respect for me. Upon learning of this, Crown Prince Xiao Jingu knelt before him, weeping and pleading, "Father, >> brother loved you deeply all her life.
Surely, she would have wished to be buried with you. Please revoke your decree."
>> Shiao Jing Yuan shook his head. Two clear tears streamed from his clouded eyes, his voice and weak.
>> Changing Yu, I am not worthy. I have wronged your mother. I owe her far too much in this lifetime, perhaps more than I could ever repay, even in the next.
This blank stale is the only thing I can do for her. Seeing his resolute stance, Shiao Ching Yun knew further pleas were feudal and could only accept through tears. Before his end, Shiao Jing Yuan dismissed everyone. He sat by the bed, clutching tightly a withered, heavily worn grasswoven rabbit. It was the first gift he ever gave me and something I treasured my entire life. Gazing at the grass rabbit, my image appeared before his eyes. That innocent, radiant girl with a sweet smile. That kind and caring empress. That heartbroken, desparing woman who died in loneliness. The woman he loved all his life and failed all his life. His lips moved slightly, whispering with his last ounce of strength, >> "Yeah, or I was wrong. I've come to make amends."
>> After saying that, his head slowly lowered, and the hand holding the grass woven rabbit went limp. An emperor passed away in endless regret and loneliness. His funeral was grand and solemn with all officials in attendance and the people. No one knew what kind of profound love was hidden in this emperor's heart. What kind of deep bone chilling regret? Deep in the Imperial mausoleium, two tombs face each other.
One is Jin Yuan's tomb. It's ste engraved with his achievements praising his wisdom. The other is my blank steelly, a bare stone slab without any inscription. Standing quietly in the wind and rain and words stand new faces repasses and loves past vows and pledges have become legends occasionally mentioned by the old palace servants fading into oblivion with the passage of time. Only that blank wordless stealth still stands deep within the imperial mausoleum eroded silently telling the story of a profound love buried by the emperor's own and that vow of one love for a lifetime ultimately became an illusion a beautiful but empty dream upon waking only endless regret and sorrow lingering in the end.
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