EPS 09: The Art of Being Here

Added: 2026-05-30

[00:00:00]Madina, welcome to episode numero no. We are back.

[00:00:07]>> This is the first time we grab onto the mics and I like love it. It feels so like >> it's giving me very chill, relaxed vibes and I'm loving that.

[00:00:16]>> I I'm I'm digging it. So, we're going to cut straight to the chase. You guys know at the beginning of every episode um we start off with a shot. Today we're going to start off with a shot of presence. So, everyone here is more than welcome to participate.

[00:00:33]>> Can we shout the people in the room out this morning?

[00:00:35]>> Yes. Today we have Felix, our audio engineer, Soso, our producer, Bianca, our V videographer and editor, and we also have >> the one and only Iet Medina.

[00:00:49]>> Shout out to Evette in the house.

[00:00:51]>> Who is the house? Guys, if you don't know who I Medina is, go do your homework. I bet is the artist managers of artist managers of artist managers of all times. Shouts out I bet in the house. Evette, I wish I had like a little bing bing bing bing but >> much love to >> thank you for being here. We love you and believing in my success. No.

[00:01:13]>> Um, so I would like all of you guys to get in your most comfortable position. I feel very >> it's going to be a short little shot of meditation and presence. We'll explain after in a little bit. So, just get comfortable. Sit where you are. You're going to close your eyes or keep them open, whatever you want. And you're just going to take a deep breath with me.

[00:01:32]Okay. Take Oh, this is serious.

[00:01:34]>> So, yes. Okay. All right. You're going to take a deep breath, hold it, >> and breathe out slowly and completely.

[00:01:44]>> Hold on. Hold on. Give me We're doing this again. Breathe in deeply.

[00:01:51]>> Breathe in deeply.

[00:01:54]Hold it.

[00:01:57]>> Pull it out slowly and completely.

[00:02:00]>> You want to know where that's from?

[00:02:01]Remember in confirmation. We used to do meditations. That's how I would start.

[00:02:04]And I never had a hard time meditating.

[00:02:06]>> Shouts out to everyone at St. Dedicus Church.

[00:02:08]>> Do you guys remember that? All right.

[00:02:10]>> Shout out to Father Norm. Father Norm was Father and Father Bob. Father Bob. I really hope you guys you are very >> I hope you're proud of us and you would always tell it how it was. So, thank you for always being a great support. Okay, ready?

[00:02:25]>> Okay, now seriously, it just I had the giggles for a second.

[00:02:28]>> I want you to be present and I want you to feel every body part, your fingertips, >> your skin. Shut up.

[00:02:34]>> Is this therapy?

[00:02:35]>> Can you shut up?

[00:02:37]>> Take a deep breath.

[00:02:40]Hold it.

[00:02:42]Breathe out slowly and completely. This is so frustrating. Long story short, >> I feel pretty present and pissed.

[00:02:51]>> My sister focused.

[00:02:52]>> The whole point of this is >> recently I went through some interesting interactions that made me become a little bit more present and I wanted to discuss with you guys about it because I know I'm not crazy and I know I'm not the only one that goes through this. So, we're going to talk about the DMV. Okay.

[00:03:11]Recently, months ago, actually, my license expired.

[00:03:17]>> Wait, Cassandra, hold on. What?

[00:03:20]>> No, but I've been trying to get an appointment.

[00:03:22]>> Wait, you've been driving around DMV?

[00:03:24]>> Wait, hold on.

[00:03:26]You >> So, >> Cassandra, you've been driving around with a expired license.

[00:03:32]>> Yes.

[00:03:33]>> Should I keep my comments to myself?

[00:03:35]>> Yes, please do.

[00:03:36]>> Or you can say it if you want. Not like it's going to make a difference. I'm not really >> This is the same girl that booked a flight to Mexico at the beginning of the year without a passport.

[00:03:47]>> You just simply don't learn your lesson, do you?

[00:03:49]>> It just so happened that it all aligned this way. This is not the type of person that I am. And it's also not a reflection of who I am.

[00:03:55]>> It's not the type of person that you are.

[00:03:57]>> The chances, >> Cassandra, if it's not the type of person that you are, how is it possible that this is the second time in a row in in one year that you do this? It happened the same year though. You see you see where I'm coming at. Do you see where I'm coming from though?

[00:04:14]>> It's not a reflection of It just so happened this way. Moving on. We went Let it go. I went to the DMV.

[00:04:20]>> Show up at the DMV as the good [ __ ] citizen that I am. I arrive and I'm just like, "Hey, you know, you have an appointment?" "Yes, I did. I have all the documentation submitted online."

[00:04:30]Blah blah blah. So, I get there and they're like, "Okay, wait inside. You're going to get a text message." Everything is all um electronic, right? You get in line online and you submit. They tell you your number online, whatever. We're all waiting. Everyone is waiting there.

[00:04:45]So then maybe like 10 minutes in, they get on the speaker and they're like, "If you got no cash um or a check, this isn't going to work.

[00:04:56]Our system is down statewide."

[00:04:59]And I was like, "Bro, okay. First of all, everyone the DMV is already an inconvenience within itself. Okay, >> welcome to California.

[00:05:07]>> So, I'm already there and I'm like, if I go and get cash at the bank, um I'm going to lose my spot. Mind you, I requested two hours off at work for me to be there and fix the whole ID. I It's still mind-blowing to me that we have to update the ID because I'm not there's the only thing that changed was my address, but we've been um has been updated.

[00:05:28]>> What you're saying is you couldn't renew this online. I couldn't renew it online.

[00:05:31]It was a big problem. I submitted all the documentations that they wanted and they still were sending me to make an inerson appointment. I said, "Cool."

[00:05:38]>> I set up the inerson appointment. I arrive and then the second I was going to leave to go to the bank. Um, they said the number F381.

[00:05:48]That was the number. I go and I'm like, "Fuck, window number six." Make my way over and the lady's like, "Give me one second." I'm like, "Okay." So, I'm still there waiting. We go through the whole process and she's like, "Do you have cash or check?" I don't know anybody. Do any of you guys carry a check?

[00:06:03]>> No.

[00:06:04]>> How much is that? $46. Here's a check, >> right? It does that have to do with like >> Are checks still very much a thing?

[00:06:10]>> That has nothing to do with the tax bracket, right? Or it does. Tax bracket.

[00:06:14]>> Carrying a check like carrying a like, you know, like you carry your check, right? Okay. Who the [ __ ] is going to carry a check? I was like, no. And cash.

[00:06:21]I did. I had 25 bucks cash that day, but not 46. It was going to be 46. And I think I paid it online because she confirmed it, but she's like, "We'll figure it out." and see if we can process everything. Cool. She processes everything, mind you. Very lovely lady.

[00:06:35]Everyone else that works there are just boring. And she was not very respectful, very nice lady. And then she's like, "We have a problem." I said, "What's the problem?" "You're going to have to go to the social security."

[00:06:50]>> I said, "Why?

[00:06:52]>> What's the reason?" She goes, "You don't match." I don't match what? Your name and your social security don't match.

[00:07:00]If I've made it this far in life, what's the problem now? Right? What what is the problem? Let me tell you what the problem is. As a Latina, my sister and my brother both have a first name and a last name, right? One one last name. I have two. No, I'm not married.

[00:07:17]Hit me up if you're interested.

[00:07:20]Just kidding. Um, so I just so happened to not only be the middle child, but they also messed up on my name. My mom gave me Cassandra Guo Delgado. So on my birth certificate is just exposing her full legal name. Well, my legal name is Cassandra Garo.

[00:07:38]>> Go ahead. And it's on there. I mean, what's Don't you can't find me. I don't match apparently. So they made this whole problem that my middle name is not my last name and I have to go change it and if I want to change it on my social security I have to change my passport and my ID. If I don't want to change my passport my passport and my ID I have to change my social security. I said so so I can just change my whole name completely if I wanted to. And I said okay. So she's like you know you're going to have to come back again whatever blah blah blah. It was this, it was this whole process that by birth, I mean, I've been a problem since birth.

[00:08:16]Nothing matches in my life. Nothing. So, I was already frustrated and I was like, what? Why is it Why do we all have multiple names? Like, why? Why? I mean, if you had the opportunity to change your name, would you?

[00:08:29]>> My last name.

[00:08:30]>> Your first name?

[00:08:31]>> No.

[00:08:31]>> Cassandra with a K?

[00:08:32]>> No. No, I wouldn't change my first name.

[00:08:35]>> No.

[00:08:35]>> No. You would?

[00:08:36]>> Um, no.

[00:08:38]>> Elizabeth with an E.

[00:08:40]No, no, I wouldn't. For a very long time, I did.

[00:08:45]>> Can I Can I share the story of my name?

[00:08:47]Can I share the story of my name?

[00:08:48]>> Of how they baptized you >> of why my name is >> my mom.

[00:08:54]>> Yeah.

[00:08:55]>> Yeah, why not say it?

[00:08:57]>> But then I want to go back as to why you made me start the podcast with meditation because I still don't understand why you made me start the podcast.

[00:09:04]>> Well, I I wasn't I was getting there.

[00:09:06]>> Get there and then I'll tell my story or tell my story. Do you guys want to hear the story? I'm going to tell the story.

[00:09:09]>> It's toxic. It has nothing to do with the with Okay. Today, but you can say it. When we started off the meditation because today we wanted to talk about presence >> and being present. My story.

[00:09:20]>> Sorry. Just 5 seconds. Go ahead. After the DMV, >> I had a moment of realization because I was just frustrated. I was pissed. I didn't go back to work. But I went back to work after the two hours. I did everything right. If my supervisor is watching, I did everything right. I took the 2-hour time and then I went back to work. But anyway, but within the 2-hour time that I you provided me, I went to lunch by myself. Thank you for being so patient. I appreciate you. I went to lunch by myself and I was present. I was just I had a moment of me time, but not just any me time. Like I was >> the main character in that coffee shop. I didn't give a [ __ ] Everybody, there was people talking and I was just like the camera's on me.

[00:10:09]>> You zoned out.

[00:10:10]>> Completely zoned out. So, we're going to be talking about that today, which is why I started out with meditation that you ended up ruining. So, now that we're back, now that you have an idea of what this is going to be about.

[00:10:19]>> So, wait, meditation, your name?

[00:10:21]>> Meditation was meant to be present in the moment. It >> It was supposed to. Yes. But you ruined it.

[00:10:28]>> Well, I It's hard for me to be present often times. Oftentimes I'm present the story of my mom.

[00:10:33]>> Yeah. My story detour. Once again, little detour here. Okay. So, >> so why is your name Elizabeth?

[00:10:39]>> My name is Elizabeth. So, when my mom was pregnant of me, she was going to name me Leila. That was going to be my name. What?

[00:10:45]>> Leila.

[00:10:46]>> I didn't know this. L says random things that I was never aware.

[00:10:50]>> L E Y L A.

[00:10:51]>> L E Y L A.

[00:10:53]>> Imagine Ila. Do I look like a Laya?

[00:10:55]>> Remember we went to school together? I have a I have a friendla named Leila.

[00:10:59]>> Leila sounds like a The more you say it, it sounds >> I'm just going to say it sounds like a stripper name to me.

[00:11:05]>> Okay.

[00:11:06]>> Like I think of a stripper when I hear the word Leila.

[00:11:09]>> You guys know my mom was going to name me Estrea.

[00:11:11]>> Estreada.

[00:11:13]>> Like that's crazy. That's [ __ ] up.

[00:11:20]Esta sounds like a stripper name.

[00:11:22]>> So anyway, so my mom was going to name me Ila. Listen, if your name is Ila, don't take this offensively or anything like that. I just imagine like a really hot stripper. It's actually a compliment in itself. Don't don't take offense to it, okay? Like a really hot stripper with pretty black long hair and like petite and cute and adorable.

[00:11:39]>> So, is that you? Is that your alter ego?

[00:11:41]>> That's what we were That's my alter ego.

[00:11:42]>> We're going to call her Laa.

[00:11:44]>> La.

[00:11:45]>> That's going to be your alter ego.

[00:11:46]>> It's my alter ego. Okay. So, anyway, so my dad >> like after you drink >> papy, I love you. Okay. Don't come at me for this.

[00:11:57]Okay. So, my mom I'm gonna say it. Okay. You wouldn't say it. And I'm out of pocket.

[00:12:03]>> Really? You wouldn't say it?

[00:12:05]>> You already started it. I mean, go ahead.

[00:12:07]>> Damn. Just say it.

[00:12:09]>> It's actually It kind of says it's I'm not even mad at it.

[00:12:13]>> So, my mom >> That's my mom's a smart woman.

[00:12:15]>> My dad Don't do this at home, men, if you have women at home pregnant. Okay.

[00:12:19]My dad was always >> charismatic, very charismatic, very friendly, >> and he had a lot of love to give.

[00:12:28]>> So he would often times spread the love everywhere, you know, when he shouldn't.

[00:12:33]>> When he shouldn't have been doing that.

[00:12:36]So my dad, >> God forbid a man helps the needy. Huh.

[00:12:38]>> When my >> No, I'm just kidding. That's what >> So when my mom was pregnant of me, my dad was out in the world just spreading his love like Nick Cannon, you know?

[00:12:49]WHOA.

[00:12:54]WHOA. I like this you cuz I mean >> it's it's out there for people to know.

[00:13:01]We're just saying it, you know.

[00:13:02]>> Listen. And so that's that is exactly what Nick Cannon does. He spreads his love amongst among a lot of goi.

[00:13:09]>> But I'm not listen I'm not judging. I'm just I'm not judging. I'm not judging.

[00:13:13]I'm not judging. No judgment on my end.

[00:13:17]You live your life the way you want to live your life. You do you, boo. Anyway, so my dad was out spreading his love.

[00:13:24]And my mom, when she found out that I was going to be a girl, she said, "You know what? She never wanted to get back with my dad." Three three kids later, you know, and 25 plus years later, if a guy cheats on you, please guys, don't go back to that. Anyway, mom, we learned from you. Anyway, so my dad My dad >> Hey, >> did we though?

[00:13:47]>> Cassandra, >> I did. It's a joke.

[00:13:49]>> Cassandra, >> it's a joke.

[00:13:51]>> Second chances.

[00:13:52]>> So, hold on. I got to get to the point of this. This is a different This is getting too long. I got to get to the point of this.

[00:13:57]>> So, my mom was really upset and never wanted to get back with my dad. But, you know, typical men always go back and beg you to get back with them. So, anyway, my mom never wanted to get back with my dad. And she said, "You know what? I never want my baby's dad. I'm gonna say it in Spanish because it sounds juicier.

[00:14:19]Elizabeth, that's petty. So my mom, she named my daughter My >> mom named me Elizabeth.

[00:14:28]>> So my dad can My dad can never forget my mom.

[00:14:32]>> I don't know.

[00:14:34]I'd be >> and and I kind of I don't know how like I'm a petty child. That means that means I am a petty child.

[00:14:41]>> You're crying because you're named after your at least No, NO, NO. I LOVE MY NAME. Don't get me wrong. Passport.

[00:14:46]Listen, I'm not mad at my name.

[00:14:49]>> I've worked very hard to put some sort of like weight on my name, you know, like it's cool. I I'm not mad at it, but that's I I wouldn't change my name, but considering that that's the story, too.

[00:15:01]>> Well, give me some weight. Give me something that other What do Hold on. It's going to come out. Think it through.

[00:15:13]What is something about your name that you have to like How hard is it to keep up? No, hold on. When someone is >> when you >> the representation of something, you have to >> keep up to the standards or >> Yes. Like what standard is I'm not satisfied >> when someone's like, "Oh, you have to um >> keep up to >> the name." Yeah. The image. The standard.

[00:15:41]>> Okay. What is an image for you under your name? I'm not satisfied with my delivery.

[00:15:47]>> I mean, >> like what is your name? What is the weight that your name comes with?

[00:15:50]>> Queen Elizabeth. Oh, damn.

[00:15:53]>> She's dead.

[00:15:58]Well, that's [ __ ] up. So, you think you think your name has >> She lived a long life.

[00:16:04]>> It's true.

[00:16:05]>> And she Oh, what? Live is it hard to live up to your name? That's literally what I wanted to say.

[00:16:10]>> Cassandra, that's all you had to say.

[00:16:12]>> I It didn't come out.

[00:16:14]>> Is it hard to live up to my name?

[00:16:18]>> You know, do you do you want my honest opinion?

[00:16:25]Yeah, that's why I'm asking it.

[00:16:26]>> I feel like people hold me up to a specific standard or image or look that maybe I I've never seen myself as such.

[00:16:37]But I I guess I am that because a lot of people are like, "If only you could see yourself the way we see you." So, is it hard to live up to my name? Maybe my name and my image are two different things, right?

[00:16:51]Um hm.

[00:16:58]Yes and no. I love that you're giving me a very thorough response because I literally was going to be like, "It's hard for me cuz you can't spell Cassandra without ass." That's literally what I was going to say. I'm like, "So, I have to squat every day cuz without an ass, I'm not me. Cassandra, you know, >> cuz Cassandra >> and you're like, you know, the pro the purpose and how I was like, wow, I'm very today. I just chose whatever. I appreciate that. Thank you.

[00:17:28]>> I You're you're welcome. I mean, I didn't finish, but you're welcome.

[00:17:33]>> Oh, sorry. Keep going. So, your name keep going.

[00:17:40]So, it's hard or easy to to live up to your name?

[00:17:45]>> It's easy because I I am that, but it's hard because when I think people put you I guess for lack of better terms, I'm going to say when people put you on a pedestal and they they see you as such. Not and and I'm not I mean this in the most the most the most the most humble way ever, right? I'm just saying based off what people have told me. When people put you on a pedestal and they view you view you as such, it's almost like you're almost held accountable to be that. And so like a little to like not disappoint them.

[00:18:20]>> That's the perfect way to say it, like to not disappoint them. And so, but don't you feel And I'm glad we're touching on this because that's exactly what I was going to tell you about when um like Go ahead. Go ahead. Go. No, no.

[00:18:34]Go >> because is there somebody that you look up to? Maybe like a podcaster or an artist or like a >> So I I would look I I would say individuals. There's not necessarily a particular person because I admire m multiple people for different characteristics that they obtain.

[00:18:53]>> Yeah.

[00:18:54]>> But I would say yeah, there obviously you mean like right what is it that >> have you ever Okay. Have you ever met somebody you admired so much and when you met them you were so disappointed because they weren't what you thought they would be?

[00:19:07]>> Oh, so then you are talking about like a celebrity or >> whatever. Yeah, it could be like a celebrity or it could be anybody really doesn't. Right. So I think my biggest fear is >> when they say don't meet your idols or what is it like and and I don't know if right I'm not saying I'm an idol to people or that's not what I'm saying but what I'm saying is is like when people know of you or speak and they have an expectation of you and then I think my biggest fear is disappointing people. I never want to be a disappointment to others because I've been disappointed by people that I've admired and looked up to. But does that doesn't that lead to your own expectation though >> because it's not really who they are.

[00:19:48]It's an expectation you have of them which is a reflection of what you might want from them.

[00:19:54]>> Right? So maybe it's an expectation that people have. I do I do think of that. I >> I mean I'd like to believe that I've never I've never disappointed anybody when they've met me. I like to believe that I am as genuine and as real as it gets.

[00:20:06]>> Everyone tells me they think I'm taller than what I am. That is the one disappointment people do get from >> our height.

[00:20:14]>> Our height.

[00:20:15]>> That is the one disappointment.

[00:20:17]>> Yeah.

[00:20:17]>> But other than that, I mean, I don't know. I bet did Did I disappoint you when you met me?

[00:20:24]>> No.

[00:20:25]>> I think Evette likes me. You like me, Evette?

[00:20:27]>> Yeah.

[00:20:29]>> Like, yeah, I guess.

[00:20:31]>> That's funny. Yeah. I don't know. I do.

[00:20:33]You know what I mean? Like, you just never want to be a disappointment to people when you when you are held to a certain >> I feel like I don't know the type of standard that I'm held to >> and that's the problem >> by other people because >> that's right there. Stop yourself right there. That's it. You don't see yourself how others see you. But the way people describe you and talk about youm. Yes.

[00:21:01]But what I'm saying is I'm not focused on who I'm going to disappoint unless they sit down and tell me, "Oh, I expect this or this and this and blah blah blah." But usually, like, I've I've never I've always been in my own head, >> right, >> 247 that I don't think um I'm I'm I'm a huge empath 100%. But I think ever since we started this podcast, I've been in my own head of what I have to work on, what I need to do, what else is missing. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. that when someone does tell me um oh I admire this of you. Like I'm literally just thinking of, oh, I was I feel like I got a lot of more work, which we all do, right? But in that moment, I don't wonder or think what do people how do they view me?

[00:21:48]Because it's become and I'm very glad I've made it this far in my life now to um view myself or give myself credit for the way that I view myself because back then I wouldn't. I would need other people's affirmations. So, I think now I'm like I've Which is why when I went to the coffee shop, this is the story.

[00:22:10]After the DMV, I'm going to change my name for you.

[00:22:14]After the DMV, I was like, I'm going to go get I'm going to go to a coffee shop.

[00:22:17]And I if I get emotional, do we have the Kleenex? Let's prepare ourselves. No Kleenex. Are you going to cry?

[00:22:21]>> I think I am because it was such a beautiful experience. It might be it might be very simple for people, but for me it was such a big it was it's such a simple moment, but it was such a big deal for me. So, I get to the coffee shop. I ordered my coffee and an avocado toast. Fire avocado toast, by the way.

[00:22:40]And there's people there and I saw that there was a lot of people and I'm like, I'm not going to have my time, you know, like my moment. I thought it was going to be quiet, but there was people there.

[00:22:47]They had really good music and um I looked at at a seat that was facing the window, facing outdoors. So I'm like, I'm going to sit there. I sat there, my back was facing everybody else, the whole coffee shop. And I sat there and um I was just thinking, my mind was running. I'm like, I have to do this. I thought about I was thinking about everything else that I had to do that day. Um and at one moment I I glanced to my left and there was a guy in his computer with his headphones and it was just working, right? very determined. And then I get my coffee and I'm looking at my coffee and I'm seeing cuz I it was a cafe con very delicious coffee. So I'm looking at it and I'm paying attention to the ingredients and how they're mixing. It's so I'm just present right and then I get my avocado toast and I'm looking at it as a whole. That moment I'm like how small are these particles? Right? And then I start expanding my mind. And then I started thinking of how I can rationalize this moment. And then I expanded further and I'm like, I'm in a freaking floating rock. And then I'm like in the middle of the universe when there's multiple galaxies. And then I zoomed back then back in and I realized that that's that's just my world in my head. The guy next to me is in a different world in this moment.

[00:24:05]Different r different world. I've been having difficulty saying RL. It's a lot of caffeine.

[00:24:11]>> No. Um, and so I started my mind just started running, right? And I'm like I I I look out and then I see the cars driving by and the people that are driving and how they're processing things differently and how we're very similar but different at the same time, right? like and just that moment I was like wow I can just it's stupid but I'm like I'm rationalizing just living you know being present and there are some people that you know there are our ourselves like we're we're able to you know get distracted because we're busy but just just that moment just stopping time was just so beautiful. It sounds so crazy, but um we've been so busy >> basically saying like living in the moment and being present.

[00:25:02]>> Yeah. Like I I was able to allow myself to feel like the main character at that coffee shop because people were talking and there was and usually if people are talking loud, I like ease drop. It happens to me when I'm hiking seenoras or like in their cheese or whatever and I'm like, you know, cuz they're talking really loud. But people were talking and I was able to silence them. Like my mind just shut it off and I allowed myself to be present. And I feel like I've owed myself that moment for such a long time that I viewed I I was able to be present. I was able to be silence silent. And I was also able to give myself that main character moment, you know, where I always catered to people, but that moment I was able to cater to me. Um, yeah. I just really pretty >> That's actually really nice that you're sharing that because >> I don't know if I'm always present.

[00:26:01]>> Yeah, you've told me that you you you are.

[00:26:03]>> I don't think I'm ever It's very rare when I'm present. I'm going to tell you when I am present. probably when we're when I'm outside like maybe like when we go to dinners or like hanging out with my friends and it's only like a very short window because I don't have enough like time to live in the moment >> that I feel like my everyday is not present >> and I feel that's when we >> and that's actually really really sad to say because >> it's like I'm there but my brain brain is always thinking of what do I have to do next? What's next on the agenda? Who do I have to call back? Who do I have to meet with? Um how many showings do I have for today?

[00:26:49]>> What's the content I have to do? Yeah.

[00:26:52]>> Um >> how can I improve this side of my life?

[00:26:55]What time am I going to am I going to fit in the gym? And I'm never really present enough to live in the moment.

[00:27:02]But do you feel like when you allow yourself or at least try, do you avoid like do you have that beautiful moment of peace? Like are you at peace or are you conflicted with thoughts?

[00:27:17]>> Does that make sense? Like do you prefer to be distracted to not be present?

[00:27:21]>> I'm not distracted by choice and I'm not present by choice.

[00:27:25]I I would I wish I could be more present in general, but I think I'm not because of all the responsibilities or commitments that I have in life that no, >> I agree.

[00:27:38]>> But and I don't want to say stop me because that's not the right word. I'm very very very grateful for every opportunity in life that I have, for the life that I have. I don't take it for granted and I don't take it lightly at all in any way, shape, or form. Mhm.

[00:27:52]>> Um it's just I think that's what comes with it sometimes.

[00:28:00]But I do believe you have control to a certain extent of um like No, I agree cuz there's times where things need to get done and you can't you you kind of almost don't have that gift. Not that gift, that privilege of >> throwing your phone away and saying, "I'm gonna give myself a freaking hour."

[00:28:22]>> I I told my sister if she could drive here. I was like, "Hey, can you drive?"

[00:28:25]And she said, "Okay, fine." So, she drove here and I said, "You know, I want to get to the point, this is going to sound very bougie. Don't please don't take it that way. I want to get to the point where I just have a driver."

[00:28:36]It sounds bougie, I know, but it's that's not how I mean it. And let me explain why. It doesn't even have to be like a fancy driver. Maybe it could just be like >> It doesn't matter. Point is, >> but you feel like driving is wasting time.

[00:28:47]>> No. Uh I feel like I don't have enough time.

[00:28:51]>> Like I have so many text messages I got to get to right now and I owe at least two people phone calls.

[00:28:57]>> I have Well, I don't actually. It's not that bad right now.

[00:29:00]>> That's still a lot.

[00:29:01]>> And so, >> oh my god, I would get a whole new phone.

[00:29:04]>> Trash. And so I feel like even if I wanted to be present in that moment, it's almost like life doesn't allow me to.

[00:29:14]>> But but okay, but it's not but it's not that it's not that it's not that I'm afraid to be present. I actually love driving in silence. Like I could drive in silence and just sit still.

[00:29:24]>> No, but like not think of anything else but >> that's impossible because in my silence I think of In my silence I already discovered the cure to cancer.

[00:29:32]>> Uhhuh. That's where don't say that because we don't want you to go missing.

[00:29:36]>> You know when someone says like >> Sandra, why would you say that?

[00:29:39]>> That's a joke.

[00:29:41]>> That's not what we mean.

[00:29:42]>> Come on, man.

[00:29:43]>> Well, we are not suicidal. We've said this multiple times.

[00:29:48]>> Okay.

[00:29:49]If if if after this drops and we just go missing.

[00:29:53]>> Cassandra, why would you put that out in the air?

[00:29:56]>> It's a joke.

[00:29:57]>> It's the government's fault. I have not discovered the cure to cancer. Okay, >> just kidding.

[00:30:03]>> What I'm saying is is that's where my brain goes in a thousand different directions.

[00:30:07]>> I mean, I get it cuz me, you know, sometimes, you know, when people tell me, "Hey, you should sit down and watch a movie." I'm like, "How and where? When do you have the time to watch a movie?"

[00:30:16]And how do you do it?

[00:30:17]>> So, the other day, I forced myself to not do anything. I forced myself >> I have anxiety >> to do nothing.

[00:30:24]>> Okay. I have anxiety when I don't do nothing.

[00:30:26]>> Yeah. I felt guilty the next day, but that was a tomorrow problem. And maybe that's a personal thing that I have to work on, but I don't know. Like when people are like, "I took the day off and I just hung out." I'm like, "What do you mean your list didn't get longer? Like your to-do list didn't get longer?"

[00:30:41]Because I go to sleep working. I wake up working in the middle of the night when I take my dogs out. I'm working and I wish I'm like why? How is it that maybe I I'm biting more than what I can chew?

[00:30:51]>> You Yes.

[00:30:52]>> Maybe my opinion, but yes, I agree.

[00:30:55]>> You know, like did I bite more than what I could chew? And I'm not saying that my responsibilities are bigger than other people's. It's just do I need better time management.

[00:31:03]>> This is what I think it is. I think it's a choice because I think we set boundaries with people. Some I've looked I'm going to say this to you guys and don't take it personal. I It's my life and I owe this to myself. I sometimes look at my phone when someone is calling and I do not respond because I'm not mentally prepared to answer it straight up. And I wasn't like that before. I would be in the middle of a breakdown and I would answer and be like, "Hey, what's going on?" And then I'd be more stressed out because now it's my issues and then somebody else's issues and then I would try to like be the best person for them when it's like, "Nah, dude. I need me."

[00:31:38]>> But maybe, haven't you wondered that maybe you are that to other people and maybe people feel comfortable enough to >> but in order for me to be there for you, I have to be there for myself. Let me tell you the story. One time this one girl that I'm no longer friends with and I still don't like your choices and you might not know who you are but I know who you are.

[00:31:56]She was really >> Do I know who she is?

[00:31:58]>> Yes. You don't like her either.

[00:31:59]>> I don't.

[00:32:00]>> No.

[00:32:01]>> I was going to say something but this might be >> Don't say anything. I just want to say I just don't support your choices and I'm so glad I responded to you that way because I owed that to myself. One day she was like, "I was going through this and going through that and I called you and you didn't answer." And I said, "I know I wasn't ready to speak to you."

[00:32:19]And she was completely taken back by it.

[00:32:20]I said, "I wasn't ready. I was going through my own [ __ ] that day and I needed my I needed me time." Which is why I called you the next day. And she was like, you know, like she But what what are you going to do? Be mad that I needed my time? No, they can't be mad. People that love you and respect you will understand. But I also have because I've allowed myself to give myself this time.

[00:32:43]>> I'm I'm able to pour more without feeling drained.

[00:32:47]>> Yeah. To give more back because I'm I'm allowing myself to feel myself by me, not anybody else, but by me. That now because I feel fueled, I just want to I want to give, you know, I call my friend. I just checking in. Want to see how you're doing? I miss you. you know, instead of like, h, I didn't call so and so back or h sorry, you know, where it's like just checking in. I'm allowing myself to give myself the time without feeling drained.

[00:33:13]>> If you're watching this episode and I owe you a phone call, please don't take it personal.

[00:33:17]>> Yeah, don't take it personal.

[00:33:18]>> I will call you back.

[00:33:19]>> If I don't answer, I sometimes am busy.

[00:33:22]>> I actually owe Soso a phone call and he's standing right in front of me.

[00:33:25]>> That's crazy. So, so I >> There's a reason why the show is going the way it's going.

[00:33:30]No, but like sometimes I I I've become I it's so wonderful. I feel that I've learned to be my own best friend and I love it. I love it. I'm the homie. I'm my ride or die. Like I There's sometimes where I laugh by myself and I'm like that was a good one, you know? And it's just me. But I feel like it's also when I see someone that has a characteristic that I admire or that draws me to them, I observe because I want to be around them and I want to learn more about them. But at the same time, it's like if that's a characteristic that I admire and I want to be around them, >> how could I be that?

[00:34:10]>> How can I become that?

[00:34:12]>> Yeah.

[00:34:12]>> For me.

[00:34:13]>> Yeah.

[00:34:13]>> You know, a me about to cry again.

[00:34:17]>> Yeah.

[00:34:18]>> Do I have any characteristics that you admire?

[00:34:20]>> Yeah, you do. Oh, you want to know what they are?

[00:34:24]>> No, you don't have to go there. It It's just sweet because I have a lot of characteristics I admire about you.

[00:34:30]>> Really?

[00:34:31]>> I wish I could just speak my mind.

[00:34:33]>> You can.

[00:34:34]>> I I admire that you speak your mind.

[00:34:37]>> Really?

[00:34:38]>> Because if I spoke my mind Wow. Hold on.

[00:34:42]If I spoke my mind, what would happen?

[00:34:45]What?

[00:34:45]>> It's going to go one of two ways. Either you're gonna really really really like me or or or why don't you? It's beautiful. I think you're I think it stems back to that to being held >> to a >> Oh, you want people >> specific No, not me. Not me. It stems back to >> others. But this is >> holding me to a specific standard.

[00:35:14]>> This is your life though.

[00:35:15]>> I know. But if I spoke my mind, I think I would hurt a lot of people's feelings.

[00:35:18]>> If you go to sleep, >> if I spoke my mind, I would hurt a lot of people's feelings.

[00:35:22]>> Okay. Well, you also don't >> But but but hold on, hold on. Speaking my mind doesn't necessarily mean that I think I'm above everyone or better than anyone. It just means if I told people how it was, >> then we have the >> not that I'm being like I'm genuine always, but you know, my sister sometimes says out of pocket things that I'm like, "Oo, Cassandra, like you shouldn't have said that." And you know that it's part of life, right? But I think people have accepted that you are that. So I think if I start >> isn't that what love is accept.

[00:35:51]>> But if I start speaking my mind now I think people would >> let them love you and accept you as you are as well.

[00:35:57]>> Right.

[00:35:59]I spoke my mind this morning and you came at me.

[00:36:02]>> Okay. Listen. This is >> and it's it's not for us to start bickering. It's just it's just for us to start >> to start to that was me speaking my mind and you you were very upset and I was like I don't speak my mind.

[00:36:15]>> No, it's cuz that situation was different. It it it's completely different.

[00:36:21]>> Maybe. But you know, I don't know. I feel like I can be like it's your delivery too and it's what what is said. There's certain things that could change. Yeah.

[00:36:33]>> And certain things that can't be changed. But you can't go to someone and you >> I'm going to be honest. I'm learning and tell them what like something you don't like about them that is literally their personality.

[00:36:43]>> Right. I'm learning to You're like, "Right, shut up."

[00:36:47]>> It's just my phone keeps ringing. I'm learning I'm learning to what you said be if I if I like certain characteristics and people friends or like my environment I'm learning to like okay I I admire you as like I like that in you and I admire you so I'm like how can I how can I also be that you know what I mean like become what you admire do you admire yourself >> now in this time and age. Yes. I don't voice it, but I I I have internal dialogues. You know the nickname that I call myself?

[00:37:28]>> Okay. So, I have conversations with myself and I'm like, "Good job.

[00:37:31]>> You've done it."

[00:37:32]>> Are you you proud of yourself?

[00:37:34]>> Yes.

[00:37:35]>> There's a lot of work that I still feel like I need to do in a lot of aspects in my life.

[00:37:40]>> But I'm giving myself my flowers cuz.

[00:37:43]>> So, >> yeah. When I was little, I used to look up to like women that were like hardworking individuals or like women that were very independent or like this is going to sound really crazy, right?

[00:37:55]And and okay, I'm going to speak my mind. I'm going to really speak my mind.

[00:37:58]>> Oh, I used to look at women and be like, "Yo, that's so cool. Like, guys just get along with you, but like don't even hit on you, but they're just like your homies." Like, >> at what age?

[00:38:08]>> Really young. Like like 10 or 11. like women that had like just >> my mind my mind did not work like that.

[00:38:14]>> My mind was very different at a young age and I would always look at women and be like that's so cool. Like you could you could run a business and sit in the table with a man and like they look at you 10 years old.

[00:38:24]>> Yeah. I would think those things. So I always >> What would I think?

[00:38:29]>> I always wanted to be I never wanted Okay, hold on. Let me articulate this because because I don't want >> Well, I think I know what you're going to say because we both feel the same way now. Say it.

[00:38:41]>> No, because what if it's something different?

[00:38:42]>> Say it and then I'll say mine.

[00:38:43]>> Like we love the fact that we are now almost becoming friends or having >> What is it?

[00:38:50]>> Well, say it.

[00:38:52]>> Like, okay, women.

[00:38:56]I'm going to voice this. Okay. A lot of girls don't like me.

[00:39:00]>> Point blank. Exactly where we were going. Women have never liked me.

[00:39:03]>> It's very hard for girls to look at us and be like, I want to be your friend.

[00:39:06]They look at us and they're like, "You're going to steal my man and you want to date my man and I don't want to be friends with you." It's always been that way. I've had women come at me and tell me, "I used to hate you because my man admired you." And so, from my perspective, I always looked at women and and I admired women that can sit in the same table as as a man and do business with a man. So the way I moved was if I want to I want to have guys that I could be in business with. That's where my brain would always go >> at 10.

[00:39:40]>> Yes. I would look at women like 10 years old.

[00:39:43]>> Yes. I would look like >> a decade.

[00:39:45]>> Like Chris Jenner.

[00:39:47]>> But your mind worked like that at 10 years old is what I'm saying.

[00:39:50]>> At 10 years old I would look at fat houses and be like I want to have a fat house one day. Yes. At 10 years old.

[00:39:57]>> Am I delayed?

[00:39:58]>> Yes. So, so I always looked at women that sat in the same table as a man. Not that I'm saying we're equal. I'm not cuz men, please don't come at me. I respect the hard work that you do and I understand that as a woman, I will never be as strong as you. But I've always admired women that can do business with men. So, I always was like, how could I become that? How could I be a woman that >> So, at 10 years old, you knew you would be in the position you are now.

[00:40:25]>> I wanted to be I admired that. So I told myself, how could I be that? So at a young age, I started to I would always have a lot of guy friends. Till this day, I have a lot of guy friends. And women don't understand it. Women Women sometimes see it as like >> So listen, >> hold on. You're not letting me finish.

[00:40:41]You're right. You're right. Women are not they don't understand it. Like maybe maybe like they they take it the wrong way, right? But but now I'm like, "Hey, I could call the homie up and say, "Yo, I have this business idea. Can we run with it?" And they'll look at me and they're like, "Hell yeah." Because they're not looking at me as I want to hit on you.

[00:40:59]They're looking at me as, "Yo, she's super cool."

[00:41:02]>> Well, we hope so.

[00:41:03]>> Well, but if they do, if they do, if that's the case, they don't voice it.

[00:41:06]And they've never came at me that way.

[00:41:08]And they've been very respectful, >> which gives you the safety.

[00:41:11]>> Exactly. So, it goes back to becoming what you've always admired. Right. And so I'm at the at a position now where I hope and I wish that maybe a lot of girls that are watching or see it understand the way I moved. Um, hold on. I got to articulate this the right way. I'm very happy that we're getting a lot of girl followers. Point blank period. I agree.

[00:41:38]I am so happy because for a long time all of my followers were men. Oh, thank you for saying that. I didn't answer.

[00:41:45]The last shirt that I was wearing with the hole was from Sheen. Everyone's like, "Where's your shirt from?" From Sheen, ladies.

[00:41:51]>> So, okay, going back. So, I'm very happy that I have a lot of girl followers because I feel that women always misunderstood me. But it's like, girl, if only you knew. I'm just trying to run the place like the boys.

[00:42:03]>> I don't even want the boys.

[00:42:05]>> Well, NOT [ __ ] Just kidding. I do. I do. I do. I do. Not your boy.

[00:42:20]>> Not your boy. I want a boy, but not your boy. I want a particular boy. Anyway, so it's getting hot now. It's not even in the business that you do. So anyway, guys, yeah, I I lost my my my thought process.

[00:42:36]>> She lost her train of thought. I just want to say listen, I'm being very, very vulnerable. Ladies, >> I'm so happy for wanting to be our friend.

[00:42:43]>> I'm so happy that you're following us.

[00:42:46]For a very long time, it was the men following. And men, I'm not discriminating and we love you guys and thank you for the support. But I I'm a girl's girl and I love that ladies are >> I'm also not a girl for a girl who's a [ __ ] >> I'm going to say it like it is.

[00:42:59]>> If you are just a [ __ ] hater, no, I'm not going to be a girl's girl for you.

[00:43:04]But I am a girl's girl for a girl's girl, >> right?

[00:43:07]>> You know, right? So all the girls that are hopping on, I it makes me happy. I like to have girlfriends.

[00:43:12]>> I have a lot of guy friends and I'm just trying to run the place like the boys.

[00:43:16]>> Yeah.

[00:43:17]>> But I'm also like I sometime to be honest, the type of girl that I think I am, I feel like I'm too, you know, that pose where it's like I'm too ghetto for the bougie girls but too bougie for the ghetto girls. There's like an in between.

[00:43:31]>> I feel like I'm right there.

[00:43:32]>> And so you're like trying to not too girly, but I'm also not too straight.

[00:43:36]>> So, maybe we can find our our niche of like you're not too girly, but then you're not too bougie and then you're like in between, but you're like, you know, I just I just This is just me.

[00:43:45]>> If you relate to us and you feel seen, >> I want to be your friend. Let's be friends. Why not?

[00:43:51]>> We are the friends that anybody can have or what?

[00:43:54]>> Anyway, I don't know. I don't know if I hit the plot with this, but did did that did that make sense? Did you did you >> So, speak your mind. Just shorten it out. You are basically saying >> I became what I always admired. Well, I'm in the process of becoming. No, you know what? It's okay to not be humble sometimes. I give yourself the credit. I became what I've always admired.

[00:44:14]>> That's beautiful. I feel that. That makes me happy that you feel that way because I feel the same way about myself, which is why I feel that moment that I had. I was so happy that and I've needed it for such a long time because I forgot. I used to be very present all the time.

[00:44:32]And after Apollo died, I just was like work, work, work, work, work. And then I started to recently give myself moments to just stop and be present. But I didn't want to be sad all the time. So I, you know, got I would be distracted and like do all of this stuff.

[00:44:49]Now that I'm able to accept what has happened, I've um I'm like I'm going to give myself the time to just be present, you know, and accept what is, but also accept who I've become because of the process to allow what is and be present, you know, because the new me is viewing life completely differently. I think >> maybe I just learned something from me just by listening to you. Is this what therapy is like?

[00:45:13]>> Yes, actually. Where they say nothing and you're like, "You're right." And they're like, "What?"

[00:45:19]>> You said that after Apollo died, you've just been busy to hide basically your pain, right? Or to avoid your pain.

[00:45:26]>> So what if?

[00:45:27]>> So it started all that year.

[00:45:29]>> So what if maybe I've just been avoiding years and years of pain and that's why I've been so busy.

[00:45:34]>> I've said this in many ways than one.

[00:45:39]Episode 9, at least close to therapy, but not quite there.

[00:45:42]>> But like, why do I need to What does a therapist do? She listens to you, reiterates what you say, and then you're like, >> "So then why can I why do I have to go to an actual therapist? Why can't I just sit here and talk to you like this?

[00:45:53]>> Because I'm not qualified enough to not get invested into your >> Why can't my audience be my therapist?"

[00:45:59]>> Everyone's idea. I would that's the last thing I would do is ask for an audience to solve your problems. I mean, come on.

[00:46:07]But this it's a safe space and you already know when we go on live also on TikTok there's a lot of people that hop on and it feels like home and they hear you out and they but it's it's okay sometimes it's okay to be vulnerable with your therapist you know so my therapist is from Mexico give her a shout out do you want to say her name or no >> um >> no don't say her name saludo salera No, no, no.

[00:47:00]Can you let me talk?

[00:47:34]This is what I'm feeling right now.

[00:47:38]anxiety and red cuz my blood is boiling.

[00:47:45]No, it's not. I'm chilling.

[00:48:01]Goenita.

[00:48:41]That was not what we expected. But I'm speak I'm going to tell her to watch this episode. Hopefully she enjoys it.

[00:48:47]She's going to laugh.

[00:49:09]Your delusion is mindblowing to me.

[00:49:13]>> And it can go to a scientist and it's like all this [ __ ] is wrong. I don't know what it is. The vibe is off. Tell me a moment where I have till this day been wrong >> about your life >> in general.

[00:49:24]>> About your life.

[00:49:25]>> Anything >> about your life though?

[00:49:26]>> Tell me multiple times.

[00:49:28]>> Tell me something.

[00:49:28]>> You don't give me credit in >> Tell me something that I have voiced >> that I'm like this this this and this and been wrong.

[00:49:37]>> Well, answer my question >> multiple times. You've been wrong multiple times.

[00:49:41]>> No, I have not about my personal life and dating life when I am. But there's different there. You are wrong in a lot.

[00:49:49]I'm not perfect, right? Neither am I.

[00:49:51]>> But I feel like which is why say it together. You go to therapy.

[00:49:57]Yes. So you have been wrong. It's okay.

[00:50:00]>> It's okay to be wrong sometimes.

[00:50:02]>> I just don't think I've been wrong. This is me needing therapy. Huh?

[00:50:05]>> Yeah. In conclusion, go to therapy, guys. I think therapy is very much needed. Everybody should go to therapy.

[00:50:10]Just, you know, uh I just Not me. Don't Don't send me. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes, but I'm also oftentimes not wrong. I have pretty good judgment and pretty good intuition. And I have people that I vent to and talk to and it helps a lot. And I think I've grown a lot. I do agree.

[00:50:26]>> I think I've grown a lot in the past few years. I feel emotionally like I'm in a really good place, but I'm not against therapy. I just don't want to go to therapy. That's it.

[00:50:36]>> That's okay. At least you know why you're not there, you know.

[00:50:40]>> Yes.

[00:50:41]>> Okay. Well, now we know that she needs it, but she doesn't want to go. Back then it was I don't need it. So, see you see the progress here.

[00:50:49]>> Did I agree? I needed it. Now you're like, I just don't want to go. That's okay. You see, Ellie, this is beautiful.

[00:50:55]People can go back through these podcasts and be like, wow, there's improvement.

[00:50:59]>> Wait, I said I needed therapy.

[00:51:01]>> We'll just say yes.

[00:51:03]>> Yes. All right, >> that's great. Well, we have a little game here for you guys talking about therapy and anxiety and everything that we're going through. And um the game is called anxiety. This is how it works.

[00:51:14]>> Oh god, you're going to give me more.

[00:51:15]>> You either pick an anxiety card that's white, anxiety card that's black, or anxiety card that's red because we are all inclusive here. Okay. Inclusive. We do not prefer >> any other color. Okay. Admit and dare cards. Cassandra, we are inclusive.

[00:51:38]So, I'm going to pick a card. Whichever one or you want to go first? You pick a card. If you pick a red one, you have to read it. You don't say it out loud, but you have to show it to everyone but the person you think this fits best.

[00:51:50]>> Okay. Okay. Okay. Got it.

[00:51:52]>> And the person that actually, we have to keep the we should keep the red ones out because that would include Okay.

[00:52:00]>> Okay.

[00:52:01]>> So, it's just black or white.

[00:52:03]>> Okay.

[00:52:04]>> So, pick.

[00:52:05]>> Okay.

[00:52:06]>> Black or white. What are the chances of black?

[00:52:11]>> Black or right?

[00:52:12]>> And yellow.

[00:52:19]That is crazy. That is great. Guys, let's just laugh together. Okay, we have the yellow cards, the white cards, and the black cards. Okay, pick a a white anxiety or a black anxiety card. I'm going to go with black. Okay, the black anxiety card you you read. Don't say it out loud. read it to yourself and you have to show it to at least one person is my understanding. Let me refresh my memory.

[00:52:42]>> Um, thank god I'm sober sober for this.

[00:52:45]Huh?

[00:52:45]>> So I do I read the question out loud.

[00:52:47]>> No, hold on. Um, >> sorry guys.

[00:52:51]>> What is it? Black one.

[00:52:52]>> My sister brought a game that she does not know.

[00:52:54]>> Show only. Yeah, you have to show only one person. So whoever that don't let me see I could already see it. Don't let me see the card.

[00:53:01]>> So you are one person that it reminds you of. Show the camera. Oh, show the camera.

[00:53:06]>> Don't look. Okay.

[00:53:09]Does who if does does that per does whatever it says there remind you of me or somebody else?

[00:53:17]>> Um, >> it's cuz it's kind of hard cuz it's multiple people and it's just her and I.

[00:53:24]Does that make sense?

[00:53:25]>> Um, sure.

[00:53:28]Okay. So, if I want to know what that card says, I have to either do a D. This is between you and I. So, yes. Sure.

[00:53:36]>> Are you Are you for sure or not?

[00:53:40]>> If not, you're going to have to get another card that like this is see. See?

[00:53:44]No. No. No. No.

[00:53:45]>> Okay.

[00:53:47]Okay. Let's try white. Okay.

[00:53:51]>> Oh, yes. Okay. Show the camera. Okay.

[00:53:53]Ready?

[00:53:55]And then I have to if I want to know what that card says.

[00:53:58]>> Okay.

[00:53:59]>> I have to >> Where do I put the card now?

[00:54:01]>> To your chest. I can't see it or whatever.

[00:54:03]>> Okay.

[00:54:03]>> Okay. To my chest.

[00:54:04]>> So, I want to know what the card is. So, I'm going to get an admit.

[00:54:08]Admit to the group who your favorite ex is.

[00:54:16]Do you want to do that?

[00:54:19]That's crazy. You're going to >> In what sense, though?

[00:54:22]>> Uh, maybe. Uh.

[00:54:23]>> Okay. All right. Do I have to say the name?

[00:54:25]>> No, don't say the name. I'm >> not admitting anything.

[00:54:27]>> Okay. So, then what do I do?

[00:54:30]>> You have to put it down. That's one point for you. Okay. Okay. My turn.

[00:54:36]N that one's lame. I'm going to skip the lame ones. Okay. I want some good stuff.

[00:54:42]Oh my gosh. Hold on.

[00:54:46]No.

[00:54:47]>> Maybe white's not your color.

[00:54:48]>> That's true.

[00:54:50]I always knew it was black.

[00:54:54]Just kidding. Um, you kind of are a little bit. Okay, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Don't look.

[00:55:04]>> Not looking.

[00:55:08]>> Okay, got it. So, if you want to see this card, you either have to do the dare or you have to admit.

[00:55:13]>> A dare means what exactly? Like >> the card is going to dare you to do something. Either you do that to find out what the card is or you can skip it.

[00:55:22]>> Let's do a dare.

[00:55:25]>> Call your dad and let the group ask him any one question they want. That's And then if they do that, you'll know.

[00:55:32]>> Can you guys not say some out of pocket stuff? Why would they What type of friends you think we got?

[00:55:37]>> I don't How many baby mas you got?

[00:55:44]He has to be short answered. My dad is too detailed. That's where I get it from. Okay.

[00:55:49]>> Whatever you want to know. Whatever you any like I got a question.

[00:55:59]Okay.

[00:56:04]OKAY.

[00:56:10]Just just hi.

[00:56:22]How do you say dare?

[00:56:34]Okay.

[00:56:54]Okay.

[00:56:57]Okay. Okay. Okay. No.

[00:57:04]No. No. No. He could watch the podcast.

[00:57:07]>> Okay. Okay. I love you, puppy.

[00:57:13]>> Quick question.

[00:57:14]>> Yes.

[00:57:16]>> Okay. Bye.

[00:57:17]>> Okay. I love you.

[00:57:18]>> I love you. Bye. Bye. Bye.

[00:57:21]S's reaction was hilarious. I'm about to break my dad's heart on the podcast. He doesn't know. He >> He doesn't know why my mom named me that. Maybe he didn't want to say it.

[00:57:33]>> He doesn't. That's [ __ ] up because >> that's his story to tell, right? That's my dad's story to tell. I know nothing.

[00:57:41]I mean, I'm a metan. That's so So, how do I read the question? Okay. So, you already did it.

[00:57:47]>> Oh, [ __ ] Cassandra.

[00:57:51]Cassandra. Oh, it was you. Who's the most embarrassing with drunk?

[00:57:58]That's you. So, you think I'm embarrassing when I'm drunk?

[00:58:01]>> Yes. Hell yes. So, now you have two points and I have zero.

[00:58:04]>> Really?

[00:58:04]>> Yes. Next question. We're going to do one more. We're going to do three. Pick a good one.

[00:58:14]>> Is it bad?

[00:58:16]>> Does it tug at your heart? Anything that tugs on my heart, I don't want. I'm gonna read it out loud, but we're gonna skip it. Okay. Okay. It says, "Who is most likely to die first if you were in a horror film?"

[00:58:28]>> Oh, it's a horror film.

[00:58:36]>> You're [ __ ] Get your [ __ ] together, bro. Get your [ __ ] together.

[00:58:39]>> Sometimes we're right. Call this phone right now.

[00:58:41]>> I'm going to tell you something. My brother >> My brother, he's going to be pissed. You know, he could be a dick sometimes.

[00:59:01]That's my question before coming here. That is hilarious for me. Yes or no?

[00:59:23]Okay. Question for question. Okay. I love you. Bye.

[00:59:29]>> That's my dad. That's my dad for you.

[00:59:32]Um. All right. One more question. One more question.

[00:59:34]>> You me.

[00:59:36]>> Okay.

[00:59:45]This is >> Oh, you can skip it. Is it good?

[00:59:50]>> Why you have to throw it? Just flip it.

[00:59:52]>> Oh, it's most Oh, just put it onto the side.

[01:00:03]Okay. Um, it's not you.

[01:00:08]Forgive her. What?

[01:00:12]Ellie, just >> this game is not it.

[01:00:14]>> Just put it right here. What are you doing?

[01:00:22]>> You You guys I don't like this game.

[01:00:27]>> Can you see my gains?

[01:00:28]>> All right, perfect. Is that one good?

[01:00:30]Okay, >> I think so. Can you pass that one, Felix?

[01:00:34]>> Hm.

[01:00:35]>> But she But she read it. I think >> probably. Okay, perfect. Do I read it out loud?

[01:00:49]>> What?

[01:00:51]>> Do you just want to read it out loud?

[01:00:52]>> No, no, no. You think it's me?

[01:00:54]>> Oh my god.

[01:01:00]>> The white ones were a little out of pocket, too.

[01:01:02]>> What? What? What are these questions?

[01:01:04]It's giving me anxiety.

[01:01:07]>> It's >> interesting. It's almost like that's the name of the game.

[01:01:10]>> This is could be a little controversial.

[01:01:12]No.

[01:01:13]>> Ellie, give me >> They're terrible.

[01:01:19]>> I know. It's like a sex game, huh?

[01:01:21]>> Who is most likely to put their kids up for adoption?

[01:01:24]>> That's a good question.

[01:01:25]>> You would put your kids up for adoption?

[01:01:27]>> Never. But it's a good question.

[01:01:29]>> Between you and I, >> I don't think I I don't I wouldn't. No, it depends. No. No. I >> see. These are terrible. Okay, one last one and that's it. Okay, just cuz they don't portray to us.

[01:01:47]Well, it could be your thought. It's who most likely to do something.

[01:01:51]>> But then what if but what if it's not >> get butt hurt? Oh, you think it's someone in the group?

[01:01:56]>> Oh, we're playing with everybody >> because it has to be us.

[01:01:59]>> It's not. It's not guys.

[01:02:08]Come on.

[01:02:10]>> Like seriously, that's so you. What are you talking about >> now? I'm concerned because these are good questions and I want to know what you threw out.

[01:02:20]>> Who here would you most likely sleep with?

[01:02:22]>> Okay. Yeah, >> exactly. The next one. Who is the biggest attention seeker?

[01:02:26]>> Well, that's you. Next question. Who is the most Who is most likely to kiss ass?

[01:02:31]>> That's also you. Next question.

[01:02:33]>> Who is most likely to get thrown out the club? That is you.

[01:02:37]>> Exactly. None of these fit. You know what anxiety game.

[01:02:40]>> Who is most likely to be a Karen?

[01:02:42]>> You.

[01:02:43]>> Me. That's true. One time I called the cops because they were doing donuts outside the house.

[01:02:47]>> Exactly. She She was like, >> I am the biggest snark of all time.

[01:02:51]>> Snitches get stitches. Snitches get stitches. Who has the worst fashion sense in the room?

[01:02:58]Well, it's obviously between you and I.

[01:03:00]>> Exactly.

[01:03:01]>> That's that's a that's a tough one. So, a long time ago when we were little, we made a bet. $100 bet.

[01:03:07]>> We were like super young. We were like 12, 13 years old.

[01:03:09]>> And we were like, who is going to have the best style as adults >> and then we were like, make a bet on it.

[01:03:16]We made a bet. And then we also $100.

[01:03:20]>> You don't like my fur coats of time.

[01:03:22]Your fur coat. You look fabulous.

[01:03:25]>> I got my friends wearing fur coats.

[01:03:26]talking about.

[01:03:29]>> My My fur coats are popping. What are you talking about? Well, listen. I'm over this anxiety game. It gave me more anxiety. That's the purpose. I think we were supposed to um gave me anxiety. Should we ask it? Go ahead. Go ahead. No, this will be off camera. If you guys want to know, give us a follow, like, subscribe, send us a DM. We might tell you what the question is. We might not. Get us to 100,000 likes. No, I'm sorry. 100. No, I'm sorry.

[01:03:57]>> Hold on. We have 30,000 likes on one of our last videos. So, get us to a 100,000 likes >> and half a million views. Half a million views.

[01:04:07]>> Get us to 100,000 followers by the time the next episode drops.

[01:04:12]>> Cassandra, realistically. Realistically, let's talk numbers.

[01:04:16]>> They post and then they're like, I want so and so to comment and so and so ends up commenting. Well, one of our last videos hit.

[01:04:23]>> If you want to know what this question says, >> Oh, wait. Hold on. I'm being realistic with the numbers. Our last video hit 30,000 likes. We are at almost 300,000 views. So, surpass it.

[01:04:35]>> Okay. Well, then let's do something right now that we will do if we get there.

[01:04:40]What will we do as a unit if they get us to 100,000 followers?

[01:04:46]Hold on. in from now until episode 9 drops.

[01:04:53]Is that too much?

[01:04:54]>> Till the end of the season.

[01:04:54]>> Till the end of the season. From now till the end of the season. How many followers do you want? 100. 10,000.

[01:05:01]>> No, that's impossible. No, it's not.

[01:05:03]That's realistic. We're halfway.

[01:05:05]>> Okay. Yes.

[01:05:06]>> 10,000 followers.

[01:05:07]>> 10,000 followers.

[01:05:08]>> We are close to a million impressions on Instagram.

[01:05:12]>> So, get us to 10 to to 10,000 followers by the end of the episode.

[01:05:18]And what do you want to do?

[01:05:20]>> A meet and greet.

[01:05:22]>> We will do a meet and greet for you if you get us to 10,000 followers.

[01:05:27]>> I was like, "Wow, easy." Now, if you get us to 10,000 followers by the end of the season, >> we will do a meet and greet.

[01:05:35]>> A meet and greet like you guys have asked us in the in the past. In the past episodes, we've been asked to do meet and greets. So, we will do What if nobody shows up? That's crazy. Listen, >> because she's traumatized cuz one time she had a birthday and nobody no one showed up.

[01:05:51]>> For my 9th birthday, my parents threw me the biggest party and nobody showed up.

[01:05:54]I was traumatized. Did you guys live in Mexico?

[01:05:58]>> No, I lived here.

[01:05:59]>> So, you don't have any friends in Mexico? Who's who's supposed to show up?

[01:06:03]>> No, the party was here.

[01:06:05]>> Oh, >> I had a birthday here and nobody showed up. Where? In Lancaster. If you're from the 661 area code and you didn't show up to my birthday, the land.

[01:06:16]>> WHOA, WHOA, BE NICE. I was born in the 6X1, okay? I don't carry it with you.

[01:06:21]>> Listen, but get us to 10,000 followers by the end of the season and we will do a meet and greet. But please show up at in Lancaster.

[01:06:30]>> Make sure to follow us.

[01:06:31]>> We will do a meet and greet. Follow us.

[01:06:34]Subscribe, share, have your grandma watch your episode. We're friendly.

[01:06:38]We're friendly around here. We love you all. We love you. Thank you. Thank you for the love and support. And we'll see you guys next time.

[01:06:43]>> Bye.