Kim Wayans | Perimenopausal Hair Loss Fixed At Last

[00:00:00]So, what brings you to this maternal womb today?

[00:00:05]How may I assist you as in how may I be assisted to you?

[00:00:12]>> I've really been going through it.

[00:00:13]>> Mhm, speak your truth.

[00:00:16]>> Well, I used to have such thick, beautiful hair and then I started going through perimenopause >> Mhm.

[00:00:23]>> and then my hair started falling out.

[00:00:25]>> I started getting these little circular bald patches.

[00:00:29]My doctor said it's alopecia but it's just making me so insecure and I'm afraid I'm going to lose my husband and I'm desperate for a solution and he's calling me Patch Adams and he's saying I don't know what I'm going TO DO IF HE LEAVES ME. WHO GOING TO WATCH these kids? I got five of them and what I'm going to do? Who going to put gas IN MY CAR? HOW I'M GOING TO PAY THESE BILLS?

[00:00:52]I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

[00:00:56]SISTER!

[00:01:01]>> TAKE A DEEP BREATH.

[00:01:06]YOU need more than a solution. You need a soul-ution.

[00:01:12]I just made that up.

[00:01:14]>> Oh, [snorts] mother, I am gagging.

[00:01:18]WE'RE NOT WORTHY. WE'RE NOT WORTHY.

[00:01:21]>> NOW, GRANTED, this is distressing but you have to understand on a soul level. In the words of our dear sister India Arie, you are not your hair.

[00:01:34]And if you think your man wants to walk out the door because of a few bald patches, well, guess what?

[00:01:42]You need to let that superficial mofo go.

[00:01:46]>> BYE, FERNANDO. BYE, FERNANDO.

[00:01:50]>> Because he is not valuing you.

[00:01:54]Ask yourself, did [clears throat] hair raise my children?

[00:01:58]Did hair hold my man's hand and nurse him back to health when he was sick?

[00:02:04]Did hair help me overcome every obstacle I've had in my life thus far? No, that was you.

[00:02:12]Hair was just hitching a ride on your scalp to witness your magnificence.

[00:02:18]You know what? I never thought about it that way.

[00:02:21]I guess I didn't realize that.

[00:02:23]Let's talk about that word, shall we?

[00:02:25]>> Back it up.

[00:02:26]>> Realize.

[00:02:27]You did not use your eyes to see the real.

[00:02:33]Realize.

[00:02:36]>> [laughter] >> Oh duh, I am gagging.

[00:02:41]Oh, you are brilliant queen.

[00:02:44]>> I'm processing all your wisdom, is I, but I still think it's going to be hard for me to have to start wearing a wig.

[00:02:50]>> Well, who said you had to do that? As many of you know, one of my hyphenates is that I'm an award-winning inventor.

[00:02:59]Yep.

[00:03:00]The proud recipient of the Bubba T.

[00:03:02]Watkins Broken Boot Award for excellence in inventing.

[00:03:06]Dot dot dot and all other areas of life.

[00:03:11]And for $39.99, the low low price of $39.99, I've created an option for women with alopecia. Introducing the Still Got It Alopecia Patches.

[00:03:26]May I?

[00:03:27]>> Mhm.

[00:03:35]>> Mhm.

[00:03:36]Oh, yes, sister. Oh, now the Patch Adams thing is starting to make sense. All right, well, look, all we have to do is take the appropriate size patch, place it into the bald spot, and voila.

[00:03:53]Did mention that it's adhesive backed?

[00:03:56]Press it in and voila.

[00:04:04]I'm just too clever.

[00:04:10]You're brilliant, is I. Oh [laughter] my god.

[00:04:13]Tell me something I don't know. And my work is guaranteed, no money back. And sisters, I have you all covered.

[00:04:21]Alopecia Patches comes in silky straight, yaki straight, curly kinky, afro curly, curly, and peasy.

[00:04:32]So, make peace with Alo pecia.

[00:04:39]Alopecia Patches comes in a variety of sizes, dime, nickel, quarter, 50 cent, silver dollar, baseball. Then after that, you need to go on and buy yourself a damn wig.