Enterprise Reviewed! (by a pedant) S1E25: TWO DAYS AND TWO NIGHTS

追加: 2026-05-19

[00:00:02][music] >> It's a new day on the Enterprise, but not for long. We finally arrived at Risa for our Hollybobs, and those who won the Shoreleave lottery are preparing for the surface. Plans for how to relax vary between subject, but they all have an idea for how best to occupy their time.

[00:00:25]The only main cast members not getting some time away are T'Pol and Flox, the latter planning to hibernate instead.

[00:00:31]The nobulans need to spend a few days unconscious every year, so he's going to grab a couple while most of the crew have no need of him. Archer's plan is for solitude and reading in his own little villa. There are others in the area, too, including one occupied by a woman and a dog, so maybe Porthos, dog in space, will have company. Tucker and Reed have slightly different plans, ones that involve the swapping of bodily fluids with other people. That's assuming they can find aliens who fit their requirements. Up in the villa, Porthos, dog in space, has already made an acquaintance. The dog we saw in another villa has come for a sniff, though neither seem delighted by what they find. A doorbell signals company for Archer, too, and we learn that Kayla here is the humanoid attached to the wandering dog. She and Archer hit it off a little better than the dogs have, so he tries inviting her to dinner. She has plans tonight, but softens the blow with arrangements for tomorrow instead. To Hoshi we go and find her interest in alien tongues is quite different to Reed and Tucker. She's been using the time to learn the local language, and that gets the interest of a guy who overhears her.

[00:01:38]His language is particularly complex, you see, and he says learning it would be a challenge for her, one they could explore over dinner, perhaps.

[00:01:47]Tucker and Reed are struggling. Maybe that's due to the alcohol it looks like Reed's been indulging, but his less than subtle behavior isn't enough to put off a pair of women who come over and introduce themselves. Maybe their ignorance is part of the local custom as their forehead symbols indicate they're Risan. Either that or they serve a Goa'uld from Stargate. Regardless, they accept an invitation to join and promise to make the holiday interesting.

[00:02:13]Archer's got company again as well. His neighbor, Kayla, saw him still up and wanted to play with his telescope, not a euphemism. He shows her our star, Sol, though she shies away from questions about her own home. She's far more interested in hearing about Archer and all the places he's seen. To T'Pol and Reed once more, who are currently telling their companions about their adventures and lying about their ranks.

[00:02:37]The companions have a tale too, something called the subterranean gardens with glowing plants and they're willing to be tour guides. Reed's a little confused about why the entrance to a tourist attraction would be through a stockroom. The answer is simple, because this is all bollocks. The companions morph into different aliens who likely no longer fit the sexy time requirements of T'Pol and Reed, but that problem is secondary to the fact they're being robbed. Mugging people who are part of a package holiday isn't the smartest con though, as neither T'Pol nor Reed are carrying anything besides their phones. Why would you bring valuables when the resort is all-inclusive? T'Pol tries to de-escalate the situation by reasoning with the robbers and their response is to poop a bit of teal.

[00:03:22]T'Pol and Reed aren't the only ones with issues. T'Pol receives a call from Travis down on the surface. His holiday plans of rock climbing have resulted in the obligatory broken leg and that's an issue when the doctors on Risa are unfamiliar with human biology. He's been having trouble breathing after their treatment and wants to see Phlox. He'll have to make do with the somewhat less capable hands of Phlox's admirer, who's also a medic, as Phlox himself is currently very unconscious indeed.

[00:03:51]T'Pol and Reed are having a difficult morning. They're surrounded by booze, which is good, but they're not surrounded by clothes, which is bad.

[00:04:00]Being tied up isn't a great development, either, and one that'll be significantly worse if they miss their lift back to the Enterprise. A search party finding them in their undercrackers would likely not go down well.

[00:04:12]Travis is also struggling. Whatever medication the doctor's on Rigel gave him is not sitting well. After hearing the reaction could potentially block his airways, Travis thinks it's time to wake Flox. At least Hoshi's enjoying herself.

[00:04:26]She's having another meal with her new friend, though his language has proven a match for her. That doesn't seem to have changed his interest in her, and off they go to spend the day together.

[00:04:36]Archer's having a good time, too, as Kayla's joining him for breakfast. He tries to learn more about her again, and she reluctantly tells him this time she'd been avoiding doing so because her backstory involves a dead family, all killed by the Suliban, though she takes an interest at Archer recognizing the name. Back on the Enterprise, we're about to unhibernate Flox. He's not exactly working at 100% and has to be reminded that he's the ship's doctor, but is eventually able to get to sick bay. Eventually, we start to question if waking him was the right choice when he tries to order the ship to fly away, though he recovers a little and insists he's going to do his job. If we're lucky, he'll even do it correctly. Back down on Rigel, Archer's having a little drink with Kayla after spending the day together. The mood turns darker when she starts talking about the Suliban, and not just because of the topic. She's asking a lot of questions now, wanting to know everything Archer does about them, and he's hesitant to discuss it.

[00:05:36]Hesitation becomes suspicion, and he surreptitiously grabs his scanner. She keeps pressing him until he relents and says he'll share everything during a walk outside, but only after noting how cold it's become and suggesting she should grab something warmer to wear.

[00:05:51]While she trots off to do just that, he calls to Poll and says he wants her to check the scan he's just taken. Kayla returns to find Archer somewhat less talkative than promised, at least about the Suliban. He's willing to talk about her though, specifically the cosmetic work she's had. The scan he took showed she's a Tandaran and the people who imprisoned Archer and Travis along with a group of innocent Suliban a few episodes back. Archer assumes this whole thing's a setup and she was sent by the guy who ran that internment camp. Kayla denies his conclusions and seems to mean it too before trying to leave. His attempt to stop this ends poorly when she scratches him, the result being him losing consciousness. He's awake just long enough to hear her apologize for how things have turned out, but that she can't afford his interference.

[00:06:40]Tucker and Reed have managed to free themselves. Okay, this means walking through the now open club in their shreddies, but it's still better than being tied up. Hoshi's night was significantly more pleasant based on how she's waking up in the morning. Her linguistic companion wants to make plans for the day only to be disappointed by the news that she'll be leaving. And Flox is sufficiently functional to have diagnosed and treated Travis. Either that or he's been particularly lucky.

[00:07:06]Regardless, he seizes the chance to return to sleep without bothering to visit his quarters. Archer on the other hand is just waking up thanks to Porthos, dog in space. Kayla's already gone, so there's no point in hanging around. None of the returning holidayers feel like sharing their experiences with the others, so we'll leave everybody to reflect on the fragility of well-laid plans as we get ready to take another step on the long road.

[00:07:34]The crew of the Enterprise finally get a well-deserved vacation and most of the ones we follow end up wishing they hadn't. Mankind's first trip to the famed pleasure planet provides the visitors with what could be generously described as mixed results.

[00:07:49]The same could perhaps be said for we viewers as I think you'd struggle to call this a strong episode. Perhaps that's a result of having four separate threads on the go leaving the episode insufficient time to make any of them particularly engaging. And that's kind of a shame as one of them might have been worth exploring but let's leave that till last and take a look at the others.

[00:08:11]There's not much to say about the Travis and Flox business. We could probably ask why a boomer, someone who was born and lived on a ship, would opt for rock climbing I suppose but that's easy enough to head cannon. Maybe they even had a climbing wall on his old ship, the Horizon, as joint recreation and gym. If so, that could have contributed to his miscalculation here as he said previously that his old ship used to maintain a lower gravity.

[00:08:38]We don't really learn anything significant about Flox here either. We already knew about the hibernation business from a comment in another episode though we do clarify here that the duration is a variable. Discovering he can be brought out of it with significant cognitive impairment is a novelty but that's about it.

[00:08:57]I suppose we should do Tucker and Reed next then. Two [ __ ] trying to get some on a planet renowned for this not being difficult and still failing miserably. Now while I'll admit I've regularly derided how Enterprise treats such things and said judging previous portrayals as deliberate attempts at mockery as generous but I think we have to make an exception in this case and say the intention here was to show them negatively. Nobody with a single ounce of self-awareness could look at a shit-faced Reed or Tucker dressed as [ __ ] Leisure Suit Larry and consider them eligible bachelors to which one should aspire. Their interactions with each other and attitudes towards finding women have the feel of two teens on their first visit to a nightclub, all hormones and no charm. The whole thing is more akin to a Carry On film than a Star Trek episode.

[00:09:48]Contrast this to Hoshi, who didn't come to the planet for the purpose of finding companionship, yet found herself doing so regardless. The simple act of not behaving like a creepy git resulted in spending time with someone whose company she enjoyed. This must surely be a deliberate comparison between those who use the term conquests in relation to partners and those who treat people like people. The end results that were shown would certainly seem to cast a value judgment over their respective attitudes.

[00:10:20]Let's leave that there and talk about the final thread of today's episode.

[00:10:25]Archer and Kayla offer the most potential of the four different plots, tying into both the overarching Suliban story arc and a previous episode as well. It doesn't simply rely on those though, and Kayla brings her own twist.

[00:10:38]Is she a spy sent to pump Archer for information? Is this whole thing a coincidence and she saw an opportunity?

[00:10:45]Was the backstory real, perhaps, and she's seeking revenge on her own terms?

[00:10:49]We don't know, and disappointingly, we'll never know. The entire Tandarite business was dropped after this episode and never touched again, at least outside of novels, anyway.

[00:11:01]Kayla does give us one more thing to discuss before she disappears forever though, and that's her choice of disguise in the episode. We learn she's Tandarite, of course, and had cosmetic alterations to cover this. It's the alterations themselves that are of interest to us, because those markings on her look very similar to Trill. It's not a perfect match, but it's pretty close, and that gives us some things to think about. It implies the Tandarites are familiar with either the Trill themselves or a species very similar.

[00:11:31]Perhaps there's a point of divergence not unlike Vulcans and Romulans, meaning Trill have galactic cousins. Another possible explanation is that Tandarans have never actually met Trill and are going from descriptions, which would account for the inconsistencies.

[00:11:46]Of course, the Trill themselves have struggled to decide on how they look based on their appearances in other series, so maybe Kayla's actually an accurate representation of a third option.

[00:11:57]A part of the reason this interested me so much is because I realized it's not the first time Risians and Trill, or fake Trill in this instance, have been on screen together. The Deep Space 9 episode Let He Who Is Without Sin had Jadzia Dax visiting Risa as well. For those of you who have interests in other science fiction universes, stories that feature both belly-inhabiting symbiotic worms and people with symbols on their foreheads might sound familiar. It's also worth noting that for all of my jokes or references to Stargate, it's actually Star Trek who showed both of these elements first. Neither the markings nor the idea of a symbiont were part of the original Stargate film from 1994 and wouldn't be seen until the first episode of SG-1 in '98. Not that this would have mattered anyway as Trek featured Risian markings in 1990 and Trill belly worms in 1991 before both the Stargate film and subsequent spin-off shows.

[00:12:55]Given how many times I've noted a certain aspect of a Star Trek story just happened to be in another piece of culture slightly before, I think it's only fair that I point out this is far from a one-way street.

[00:13:08]End of episode.

[00:13:11]Are you sure about this? It's not like we can pretend it was a joke if things go south.

[00:13:16]>> It's the perfect time. Half the crew are hungover from visiting Risa. Yes, but that includes the ones supporting the mutiny.

[00:13:23]>> Yeah, that means we'll have fewer people to pay off afterwards. I still it's risky. There are too many variables.

[00:13:29]Look, we're not going to get a better time. Besides, it might not come to blows. Wait, what? I thought we were organizing an armed takeover. No, we're planning an armed takeover just in case.

[00:13:41]We're going for a chat with the boss first. There's no way Archer's going to just step aside and give us command. Not Archer, the dog who controls him. This mutiny was just in case the real power behind the captain's chair weren't willing to share, remember? Well, I'm a reasonable dog. I'll give him a chance to form a canine council with us. Let's see if he's open to a carrot before we have to use the stick. Either way, I'm done following someone else's story. One way or another, we're ending this season in charge. Woof.