8 Rules to stop suffering from others' opinions | Stoic Philosophy

[00:00:00]Eight rules to stop suffering from others opinions.

[00:00:04]Most people believe that suffering appears when others criticize them, that the words of others are what generate insecurity, anxiety, or pain. But stoicism teaches something much more uncomfortable. The problem is not what others think of you. The problem is the power you give them over your [music] peace. Here are the eight rules to stop suffering from the opinions of others.

[00:00:23]First, accept [music] that you will always be misunderstood by someone.

[00:00:27]Epictetus taught that we cannot control how others perceive us. No matter how right you act, someone will find a reason to judge you. Stop chasing an impossible approval. Second, distinguish between opinion [music] and reality.

[00:00:41]That someone thinks something about you doesn't mean it's true. Marcus Aurelius reminded us that things do not affect us by themselves, [music] but by the interpretation we give them.

[00:00:50]Third, stop explaining [music] every decision you make. When you feel the constant need to justify yourself, you surrender your personal authority.

[00:00:58]Confident people inform their decisions.

[00:01:00]Insecure [music] people defend them before being attacked. Fourth, remember that most people are too busy [music] thinking about themselves. We spend years worrying about what others will say, >> [music] >> while others are busy worrying about what we think of them. Fifth, don't build your self-esteem on applause.

[00:01:15]Seneca wrote that those who depend on the approval of others live as slaves to wills they do not control. If praise lifts you too [music] high, criticism will also destroy you. Sixth, observe who criticizes you. Not every opinion deserves the same value. Before taking a judgment seriously, ask yourself if you would accept advice from that same person. If the answer is no, [music] then don't accept their criticism as truth, either. Seventh, practice acting without an audience. Do valuable things even if no one sees them. Epictetus taught that character is formed in private. When you stop needing recognition, you [music] regain a freedom that few know. Eighth, turn rejection into information, not into identity.

[00:01:58]That someone doesn't value [music] you doesn't mean you are worth less.

[00:02:02]It just means that person has a different perspective. Don't confuse [music] an external opinion with your true worth. Maybe while listening to this list, >> [music] >> you remembered a moment when a criticism affected you more than it should have.

[00:02:13]It has happened to all of us, but sometimes it is enough to change the way we interpret those words [music] to regain a peace we should never have given up. Here is the truth that many take years to understand.

[00:02:23]You will never have control over what others think of you, but you can decide how much space those opinions occupy in your mind.

[00:02:30]That decision is not indifference. It's strength. It's [music] freedom.

[00:02:35]Because the day you stop living for the approval of others, you start living for your own principles.