Why Layoffs Feel Like Trauma

Added: 2026-06-02

[00:00:04]Being laid off hits a lot deeper than just losing your job.

[00:00:09]Um you layoffs are strange because it's yeah nothing physically happened to you, right? But your nervous system, your body um reacts as if something dangerous did, right? are immediately put into fight or flight. Um because work is tied to survival, identity, um routine especially uh and community um future plans and ultimately and unfortunately status, right? A lot of us tie our value, our our worth to um our job.

[00:00:49]You know, it's um most people think of a a layoff like it's like it's a a uh financial hit or financial event, right? But it's more closer to a psychological one. Um it's closer to that form of shock um than most people realize.

[00:01:10]You know, you immediately jump into the five stages of grief. Um you know you you have that same kind of pattern that you see in in grief. um shock just hyper vigilance um and in this case shame uh embarrassment you know loss of control especially um in a damaged or ruptured in a sense uh ruptured sense of self you know I think uh it helps understand that um your your brain doesn't process layoffs as as uh business news, right? It's not something is is like it's like something is physically taken from you or physically happens to you. That's what your how your body feels. You know, it processes that um those feelings as a threat um and you immediately go into survival mode, right? Um you know work is tied to uh survival, housing, food um you know health insurance uh safety, stability and um you know removing all that um creates a sense of panic and anxiety in people.

[00:02:47]You know you're your whole identity is taken from you.

[00:02:52]You know, it's like it's aching to um you and your friends trying out for the football team or or some kind of event and everybody's picked but you. You know, everyone is now moving on and you're left behind. Um you know, you're now left out and segregated and and uh no longer moving on or continuing, right? It's it's uh having to change schools or um getting pulled from a different class into a new one or um you know you lose your job but you lose everything that you have tied to it. You know maybe a lot of your friendships are are tied to to work and you suddenly feel that just crumbles and you lose you lose all that after. you know, maybe there's like a grace period where you people are texting you or calling you and checking in after the fact, but you know, um that that dies off, right? People move on um even if you don't, right? Which makes it kind of that puts more salt on the wound.

[00:03:58]And when that job disappears, you so do you in a sense, right? kind of like who am I without it?

[00:04:08]And especially how quickly these things happen, right? 10-minute call with HR or last minute call with HR. Um that's, you know, very boilerplate and no kind of human dignity attached to it.

[00:04:23]Um you know, it it doesn't help when corporations and your employer, they say, "Oh, it's just, you know, it's just business. for restructuring.

[00:04:35]You know, it's not nothing personal. And how can you it's almost impossible to not personalize it, you know, because you suddenly suddenly jump into all that self-doubt and comparison, you know, why me? Why not so and so or what did I do wrong?

[00:04:52]Um, you know, you just you suddenly immediately look inward and think like there must have been something I did wrong.

[00:05:00]I'm not good enough. Um, you know, all these feelings start compounding and making things each day feels worse, right? Um, you know, each losing your job, you you lose out on that that structure that you have, right?

[00:05:18]You know, you wake up a certain time, do X, Y, and Z before you leave, go to work, more X, Y, and Z, come home, take care of things. you lose that structure then your entire day feels like shattered you know completely scattered around and that's why you know you'll find yourself saying I don't even know what day it is because each day feels like groundhog's day it's the same same kind of event right um same blur in a sense um because there's no there's no structure um and that's really hard to deal with is really hard to deal with um you know when I lost my job. Um I remember the uh facilities manager had called me like a few hours later and was like, "Hey, I'm at your desk. Um you know, is there anything I needed to grab to to you know, anything left you might have left behind?" And I immediately felt like super embarrassed because I just assumed, you know, he's talking out loud or has me on speakerphone and everyone around the office is crowded around trying to hear listen to what I'm saying. you know, you're just you're my mind went off the deep end and I immediately just felt so embarrassed and and just want to put my head in the sand, you know, I was um it made it that 10 times worse and I just I'll never forget that feeling um because it put me in like a low-grade panic attack um for the rest of the day, rest of the week. Um you know, you just you feel another layer of this is is uh shame. you know, you feel shameful, you feel embarrassed.

[00:06:52]Um, you know, you just you lose your sense of self because you you kind of realize how much your job is was tied to your value. Um, even subconsciously, even if you don't even think of it like that way, uh, daytoday, you know, when something's taken from you, you realize how much of a part of it of you was, right? And now that chapter is immediately done, and there's nothing that can change that.

[00:07:17]So, how do you even you know, where do you even go from there, right? It's you're now grieving your loss of um paycheck, having a paycheck, um grieving the loss of structure, friendships, um even your you know, your plans of your future your future plans that you you had, you know, or the path that you you felt you thought you were on is now gone.

[00:07:46]And afterwards you you kind of have a after that social death is what is is what it feels like. Um, you know, you you're now kind of uh in a state where you have, you know, you're going to have a hard time with trust. You're going to feel like if you're lucky enough to land another job, um, you know, some people are pretty quickly, some people aren't.

[00:08:14]Uh, but if you are able to land a job pretty quickly, you know, you're going to still feel like that can be ripped from you at any moment's notice, right?

[00:08:21]You're going to have to it's going to affect your performance and your approach to things. Um, it's not going to feel like there's it's going to be hard to find that sense of permanence. Even if you know that you didn't have that in the first place with the job you were laid off from, it still was a sense of comfort. And it takes a it's going to take a lot longer to get there. um you know and you're loyal to this company and then suddenly you're just discarded like a piece of trash. Um you know there's no dignity with it. Um stability's gone, security's gone. Um you're completely detached from it.

[00:09:04]And um you know you find yourself no longer introducing you you find yourself no longer introducing yourself as I am an engineer or a hardware manager or director of HR. Um you know and uh at that point you know hopefully you realize um you know job is just a job should never be the coolest thing about you. Um, that's a tough pill to swallow. That's hard to to um, you know, realize and and and embody, you know, and emulate. Uh, but it's not who you are. Um, it's just a job is something you do and that's it.

[00:09:52]It's not the uh totality of who you are in any sense, right? Um, and while it feels like that chapter stage of your life ends abruptly, you know, it's it it doesn't get to define um it doesn't get to define uh the the the person who lived it.

[00:10:25]Thanks for watching.