WHEN THE PROPHET MISSES IT; DREAMS THAT REVEAL I HAD CANCER EP.2

Added: 2026-05-14

[00:00:00]I got shot. Someone shot me in >> [music] >> my stomach. Someone shot me in my stomach.

[00:00:06]I fell to the ground.

[00:00:09]Didn't pass out, but I fell to the ground bleeding out. And I remember an angel came. And when the angel came, he reached his hand on the inside of my womb.

[00:00:20]>> [music] [singing] [music] [music] [music] >> We talk so much about walking in the power, the demonstration, the authority of the prophetic, but we also do not talk about doing ministry, walking in the power and the authority of God while battling, while undergoing warfare. The truth is, what makes you a real prophet of God is not just the ability to prophesy, to call names, to cast devils out, to be powerful and demonstrate the power and the authority of God. But what makes you a true anointed prophet of God is being able to do it whilst undergoing the warfare. You're able to endure, and you're able to still comply to your responsibility, your assignment, while everything is not well. There are a lot of people that will complain, a lot of people that will cry, a lot of people that will take time back because it's just too much. Like, have you ever been through the type of warfare where it's just too much? You just want to take a break and quit. That is what I'm talking about. Being able to function in the highest heights of the prophetic while you're going through the lowest lows.

[00:01:50]Welcome back to my YouTube channel. I'm Prophetess Shaunae, and today I want to share with you on episode two of my podcast, I was diagnosed with cancer. God healed me after going through surgery, treatment, and a ton of variety of different things. I'm now healed, and I'm here to share with you my testimony, some of the struggles I've had to go through, my transparency, my truth, and also some of the powerful lessons that I have actually learned whilst I was diagnosed and that I'm still learning while I'm still in recovery. So, if you are looking for a transparency and unadulterated, unfiltered truth about the prophetic ministry, what it really means to be called a prophet and a frontline leader, then this is absolutely for you. Please make sure that you like the video and leave a comment. Comment as often as you can. Let's have conversations. I want to hear your story. I want to hear your truth also in the comment section, and let's talk. So, I want to share with you today the dreams that I had that made me know for sure that I actually had cancer. But, I find that a lot of people sometimes become offended when people share their testimonies, when people speak their truth. A lot of people wants to see the glamour. They want to see what looks good. They want to see what sounds good, but not a lot of people want to see the actual truth of what happens behind the scenes. And I find that there are a lot of people who are struggling. Sometimes I do one-on-one sessions, and there's so many people that come to me because they're struggling mentally, they're struggling psychologically, emotionally, they're struggling. Because how do you manage as a prophet to carry the weight of the mantle, to carry the weight of the assignments, to feel what other people feel, to see what people can't see, to carry things that no one will ever understand? And on top of it, you're being persecuted, you're going through warfare, you're being crushed, you're being pressed and pruned by the Holy Spirit. How do you manage so many different things all at once? That is the true mark of a prophet.

[00:03:57]>> [snorts] >> The true mark of a prophet is not just being able to operate in divine, heavenly, beautiful, powerful things, but it's the ability to also be crushed while you're carrying the weight of the mantle as well. So, when I found out I had cancer, I automatically knew that God was just getting ready to do something in my life.

[00:04:20]Uh for maybe a year or two leading up to my cancer diagnosis, the Holy Spirit kept talking to me about a new realm, a new dimension in him. Seeing angels has been easy when I prayed, just being taken to heaven easily. Functioning in this dimension that I've been in, I wouldn't say easy cuz it's it had its own warfare, but then there was another place that God wanted to take me into that required another level of breaking.

[00:04:50]And so, I knew for a fact that this cancer was not just an attack from the enemy because God does not cause sickness. He permits it, but he doesn't cause it sickness. I knew that this was permitted for a spiritual reason. In 2019, in 2012 when I just came in the prophetic, I went through so much I went through so many different things. I was homeless asking to stay with my friends cuz the people just started fighting against me for no reason. College struggle, finances, everything literally went downhill when I just came into the prophetic. It was horrible. It was a nightmare.

[00:05:28]From 2012 through 2019 when I just started pastoral ministry, there were many warfares along the way. Nothing I couldn't have not dealt with. Did that make it easy? Absolutely not. Cuz who enjoys warfare? Whether it's big warfare, small warfare, doesn't make it any easier. But in 2019 when I was about to start pastoral ministry, I had no idea that I was about to pastor a church.

[00:05:52]But I did remember having a dream I will never forget. I had a dream that my husband and I, we fell into the ocean.

[00:06:00]We literally just fell into the ocean.

[00:06:02]That was a rough it was night it was pitch black night. The ocean was extremely rough and we fell in. And we were there trying not to drown trying to swim trying to figure out how can we get to land. And I saw a boat. On that boat there was a man and I didn't see the face of the man but his face shone bright like a light. The man said to us, "Keep swimming and you will get to shore very soon." And he gave some more bit of encouragement.

[00:06:32]When I got out of the dream, I remember thinking, "Oh my god, I'm going to go through something very serious but I'm going to come out." I didn't even bother to take the time to pray and ask God to remove it to cancel it. I just asked him for the grace and the strength because I understood that there are some things that you have to endure. That was 2019.

[00:06:52]We eventually a few months later gave birth to a church that we pastored and it was beautiful.

[00:06:59]Last year in December after going to the doctors I like I said I had a nudge that something was wrong had no idea what it was. And even though I knew something was wrong I wouldn't have perceived cancer because why would I?

[00:07:14]>> [snorts] >> Nevertheless, I went to sleep and I had a dream and this is while I was waiting on my biopsy result.

[00:07:21]I had a dream and in the dream I got shot. Someone shot me in my stomach.

[00:07:27]Someone shot me in my stomach.

[00:07:30]I fell to the ground didn't pass out but I fell to the ground bleeding out and I remember an angel came. And when the angel came he reached his hand on the inside of my womb and he took the bullet out.

[00:07:45]When he took the bullet out, all the other spen shells that were scattered on the ground from the the shot that was fired, he picked up every bit of spen shells, every stray bullets. He took the bullet out of my womb and he placed it in my hand and he closed my hands like this and the angel of the Lord said to me, "Keep these. This is going to be your testimony that you could not die and that God saved you."

[00:08:14]Prophetic Invasion workshop is going to be on June 12. What is Prophetic Invasion? Prophetic Invasion is a one-night intense, in-depth prophetic training that will take place on June 12 at 7:00 p.m. For 3 hours, I am going to teach on some very powerful and deep prophetic topics such as a kingdom legislation, God's government on Earth, the prophet's authority, prophetic activation and spiritual laws, prophetic ranks and dimension. If you are a prophet or you're someone that is prophetic, you have a ministry, you're called, you're chosen, you're anointed by God and you believe that God is calling you now to begin to function and operate in a greater level, a greater level than you have ever seen before, this is for you. We're going to be looking at prophetic ranks, some of the higher prophetic ranks.

[00:09:13]We're going to be look at spiritual legislation, what legislation, what governance, what authority actually looks like in the prophetic and understanding how to function in the council, the government of God within the Earth realm. So, this is for those prophets that wants to understand what true power, true authority, true dominion in the Earth realm as a prophetic person actually looks like.

[00:09:39]We're not just here to prophesy, but we're here to capture the dimensions of God. We're here to prophesy to the elements, to tell the sun to stand still, it will stand still, the moon to stand still, and it will stand still.

[00:09:50]So, if you are interested in being strained, you're interested in understanding your authority and dominion as a prophet in the earth, to be the counselor and the representation of God in the earth realm, visit my website at shawnnicabickfordministries.org.

[00:10:05]So, you can enroll to be a part of our 3-hour workshop on June 12th at 7:00 p.m. The classes are virtual. That means you're able to enroll from anywhere you are in the world. Thank you guys so much. Let's go right back to the podcast. Testimony, there are dreams that actually reveal and not prevent.

[00:10:23]So, as you have some dreams, it's not to pray to cancel it. It reveals to prepare you for what is about to happen. And I 100% believe that God made me have these dreams to prepare me and to notify me of what was going to come. Not that I couldn't cancel it, but he was not permitting it to be canceled because I had to undergo that in that particular season.

[00:10:47]In fact, in Genesis 36 and 6, Joseph has a dream and he says, "Listen to this dream I had. We were binding sheaves of grain out of the field and when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it." His dream made him know that he was going to be elevated, but there was something that he was going to go through before he came into the elevation that God had for him.

[00:11:15]Whenever God is going to elevate you, he's going to break you, he's going to put you through the persecution, the fire. Not that the fire will kill you, but that it will actually refine you.

[00:11:27]Sometimes you go through fire to come out on fire for God. I want you to put that Put it in the comment section. As I said, let's have a conversation in the comment section. Sometimes you go through fire not for it to burn you or kill you, but for it to actually refine you.

[00:11:44]So, one of the things that I've learned I've learned so many things, but one of the things that I've learned from cancer is um >> [snorts] >> that God permits you to go through things because he wants to take you higher. He absolutely does. Does this mean that God is wicked? No, it God is faithful and that's what he wants you to learn. He wants you to learn that God is faithful.

[00:12:07]It's easy to prophesy and preach and be on a high in ministry, but is it Is it easy? What do you do? Can you withhold?

[00:12:17]Can you, you know, manage to not curse God? Can you also be faithful while you're still going through what you're going through? And I remember and I know this is going to sound crazy to you guys, but I remember just writing a letter to God and just telling God, "Thank you. Thank you for choosing me.

[00:12:34]Thank you for allowing me to have cancer and I know I know I don't want to have cancer. I know this is not good cuz I don't know if I'm going to die I don't I don't know what's going to happen, but I said, "Thank you because I know my purpose is not complete. I know there's something for me to do and if you permitted me to have cancer, there's something that you're doing in me that I cannot see. So, thank you for choosing me. Thank you for trusting me. I have to be so strong. I don't feel it and I don't see it cuz I'm a I'm a couple of minutes away from crashing order, but you see a strength in me that I do not see and I do not feel and you entrust me to go through something that I cannot even fathom. It means I'm stronger than I think I am. It means I have more of the grace and the power of God on my life than I think I actually do.

[00:13:23]I just say, "Thank you, God, for entrusting me." Cuz God can't entrust everyone to go through.

[00:13:28]So, can you still obey God when you don't know what the outcome is going to be? And even when you have an idea, you know that the outcome is going to hurt. You know that the outcome is going to cause you to lose some people from around you. You know that you're going to have to undergo surgery. You're going to lose some things. Can you trust God to permit you to undergo these things? Can you walk the road that God has actually showed you while you do not understand and while it may cost you everything, knowing that you're not in control of this process. You are not in control of the result of this process.

[00:14:06]Can you still trust God to carry you through and are you still submitted to the process?

[00:14:11]It's easy for you to say, "Oh, I'm called to be a prophet." But, when you have never truly been broken and processed by God, then you will never understand why a real prophet would choose not to be a prophet of God.

[00:14:26]Can you trust God enough to surrender when you cannot change the process and the outcome of what you're going through?

[00:14:35]There are some seasons of your prophetic journey. There's some seasons of your ministerial journey where God is not testing your gift. He's not testing your intelligence. He's not testing your discernment or your strength. He's testing your surrender. Because as much as God wants you to grow in faith, as much as God wants you to grow in power and authority, one of the most important things that he requires of us is surrender. So, the real question then becomes, can God entrust you while suffering? Can he trust that your heart will remain towards him? Can he trust that your heart will still be surrendered to him? Know that one of the powerful messages that came out of the story of Job, when Job became sick, was that his friends began to tell him at this point, "Might as well you curse God and die. So, can God trust you that while you're going through your heart will still be posture in a place of surrender. Can God entrust you to suffer without becoming bitter?

[00:15:35]There were days as a prophet, as a mother, where I felt as though I failed my family. I felt as though I failed you guys. I felt like I failed the people that I was teaching because how can I be a prophet yet I'm going through this.

[00:15:50]And in fact, I did take the time to ensure that I sought God to find out if I opened the door, I did things that I was not supposed to do, and I'm not perfect. No one is perfect, but God has been telling me about this for a very long time. In fact, months before I had cancer, I remember God telling me to change my diet, and I have been on and off where the diet is concerned.

[00:16:16]What's crazy is that my birthday was last year August. And every year on my birthday, I enter into a covenant with the Holy Spirit, and he he renews each year with grace and strength and favor telling me what my purpose, my assignment is for each year that is coming on my birthday.

[00:16:35]I have never been a prophet. There some prophets where God tells them don't eat this, don't eat that. A lot of prophets in the Bible had specific diets that they followed. I did not have a specific diet. There were things that God told me not to do, not to get involved in, but I never had a specific diet. Last year on my birthday, I remember praying so hard.

[00:16:55]I saw myself I saw myself in this crown with special diamonds the Lord told me to research, special stones the Lord told me to research the importance, the value, the meaning of it. I saw myself in this huge tall gown, ball gown, gold.

[00:17:12]It was a ball gown. It had real diamonds, real stones, real gold, the most beautiful thing. Then I heard the Holy Spirit tell me while I was in prayer, "No more alcohol."

[00:17:22]I'm not an alcohol drinker, but occasionally I'll have something. I'll have my red wine occasionally.

[00:17:31]And the Holy Spirit for the first time told me no alcohol. I said, "Okay."

[00:17:36]I thought that this was a prophetic diet change, but it wasn't. I had cancer and I didn't know. And God was telling me, "You cannot feed this cancer with alcohol anymore." I misinterpreted. You know what? The next episode that I drop will be on a kind of prophet message.

[00:17:56]And when a prophet misses it, what caused you to miss it? What happens when you miss it? And can you go back and be restored or obtain what you miss? Can you correct? Can you fix what you actually miss? If you guys are looking forward to that, let me know in the comment section. When a prophet misses it, I've missed so much.

[00:18:14]God told me, "Don't drink the alcohol."

[00:18:16]And I thought it was a prophetic diet or a restraint.

[00:18:20]>> [snorts] >> I had cancer and alcohol feeds cancer.

[00:18:23]Couple of months before I knew I had cancer, on and off God has been telling me no more rice. He has been telling me cut out the rice. Cut this out, cut that out. And so I have been in small increments changing my diet. I I was a messy eater. I just ate what I feel like eating and that's the truth.

[00:18:43]When you are prophetic, when you're a messenger of God, you have to understand that your prophetic is not just limited to what you see, what you hear, what you prophesy, what you experience, how you grow, but you also have to validate the prophetic in the sense of valuing how to take care of your vessel. As a prophet, your body is the vessel of the living God and the Holy Spirit lives, he dwells on the inside of you. If your vessel is not pure, is not clean, does not have the capacity, does not have the strength and the health, you cannot carry the greater dimensions that God also wants you to carry. And so, a part of your prophetic has to do with ensuring that you take care of your vessel. So, God has been talking to me about my diet for some time. No more rice. He has been talking to me about how I eat, what I eat, what time I eat, my exercise.

[00:19:34]Except I I wanted to diet, I wanted to exercise, I wanted to do all these things, but I was not feeling well, and so I was not able to be consistent. I wanted to exercise, but I was always tired, always fatigued, always exhausted. Like I said, I had cancer and I did not know. Most of the videos and the live streams you guys see for last year, I had cancer in those videos and I had no idea that I had cancer. So, my testimony really is I was diagnosed with cancer in Christmas, December 2025, did my surgery on the 7th of January. All my margins were clear. My lymph node was clear. The cancer did spread to my lymphatic vessels, which is why I still had to do treatments, radiation. I think I still have some treatments left to do in the upcoming months. I'm still going back and forth. So, for the most part, I'm now currently in observation. Now, we thank God for healing. I found out I had cancer in a matter I found out I had cancer and in a matter of three, four weeks, I was literally cancer free. So, we thank God for that. Even though I was struggling and battling exhaustion and a few other things before, at least I didn't know that I had cancer. So, we thank God for that.

[00:20:49]But, God has been talking to me about my diet and my exercise, and I was just way too tired to comply and to be consistent with it. And if you're watching this video right now, if God has been talking to you about your diet and cutting out the rice and the junky food and the overly processed oil and the sweeteners.

[00:21:10]If God has been talking to you about it, please listen and take heed. When the Holy Spirit tells you to do something, sometimes it's not always spiritual, but it's it is something that is needed that can affect your natural. As a prophet and as someone who is prophetic, sometimes because you live so much in the spiritual realms of God, if you're not careful, you may begin to over spiritualize some things that God is saying to you and miss all that he's telling you he's indicating to you that something is actually wrong because being a prophet or a servant of God absolutely does not disqualify you. It doesn't exempt you from going through certain things here in this earth realm.

[00:21:50]So, while I was going through I had to learn can God endure me to suffer without me becoming bitter. Can God endure Can God endure me to suffer without cursing him in private, without complaining every single day, while suffering, complaining, causing it to become my identity. Some people cursing and complaining becomes their identity.

[00:22:11]Always complaining about the warfare, always complaining about the fight, always complaining about the setbacks, the oppression, the jealousy, the intimidation. is fighting against you.

[00:22:23]Sometimes complaining becomes a part of our identities because we have not yet come to a level in God where we are so fully yielded. Our prayers are yielded even when it seems like they are unanswered and you're still not at a place of peace. We I have learned and we have to learn to find peace even in suffering knowing that this is not unto death. The first thing that the Holy Spirit said to me that this cancer is not unto death. This cancer is not unto death. I am doing something in you to take you to the next level and I knew for a fact that this was more spiritual than anything else.

[00:23:03]I believe that the food I ate, my lifestyle played a major role in it, but God could have canceled it. God could have killed it from the cell, the seed, but he permitted it for a spiritual reason. So, not everyone, and let's be honest. I've seen a lot I've been doing ministry.

[00:23:26]I've seen a lot of pastors backslide.

[00:23:29]>> [snorts] >> I've seen a lot of pastors close the church, walk out on God, to just live their lives. I've seen a lot of prophets mess up. I've seen a lot of people do things who are in ministry, who are prophets, do things that are very questionable.

[00:23:43]And then I'm over here like, I don't get the chance to mess up. I don't get the chance to do certain things. I don't get the chance to live how I want to live. I don't get the chance to dress how I want to dress. Like, I see people dressing crazy. I see people acting crazy. And if I try to just do the slightest of things, God is like, conviction. Nope, you don't get the chance to do that. Nope, you you don't get the chance to mess up. Nope, you got to get it right. I'm convicted by the Holy Spirit. Am I the only one?

[00:24:17]So, not everyone has the strength to endure certain battles. There's some people that break under the weight of uncertainty. And uncertainty did cause my faith to waver.

[00:24:29]I've been watching a lot of Tik Tok videos, a lot of videos of people who've had cancer, who are still battling cancer. And one of the things that I've seen is that even when you are no longer um even when you no longer have cancer, I have seen that everyone is saying that when you don't have cancer, you still have to live with the side effects, the exhaustion. You still have to live with, you know, is it going to come back? And ensuring that you're eating healthy, doing the right things to make sure it doesn't come back. So, it's even though you're cancer-free, you're just living with this thing being at the forefront of your mind every single day ensuring it doesn't come back. Every time you feel a slight pain or something, you're like, "Oh my god, is my cancer coming back? Oh my god, is is it coming back?

[00:25:13]Is this a sign of cancer? What's going on?" You have to live with that. But then what this has taught me is that even in the midst of uncertainty that God wants me to have faith. He doesn't want me to break even in the midst of prolonged disappointment, prolonged suffering that he still wants you to have faith and it is very possible for you to have faith in the midst of all of this.

[00:25:34]One of the things I have seen is that it's easy for you as especially as a prophet, it's easy for you to prophesy to others. It's easy for you to pray for others. Fun fact, I prayed for I prayed for people that had cancer that got healing. I know I needed healing. It's easy to have faith and prophesy into someone's life. It's easy to have faith and see what God is doing for someone else, but then when it comes to your own life, you have to learn how to have faith for you. You have to learn how to pray for you. You have to learn how to encourage you. So, a lot of times I've always tell people that encourage your prophets, be a blessing to your prophets.

[00:26:11]If you can buy your prophet lunch, buy If you can buy your pastor lunch, buy them lunch. If you can pay their groceries one month, pay their groceries. If you can pay for their gas, pay for their gas. If you can send them a prayer or encouragement, do it. If you can send them a scripture that you think will be a blessing to their heart, do it because it's easy for them to pour into you sometimes, but behind the scenes you have no idea of the cost of the oil, the weight of the mantle, and what they're actually going through. It's not easy and sometimes they do need encouragement. Sometimes they do need someone to pray for them. Sometimes they're battling financial difficulties, not because they did something wrong, but because God is also processing them and sometimes you just want to encourage your pastor. When you are going through, it is only my prayer that your pastor is reciprocating the same grace. Your pastor is paying for your bills this month. Your pastor is buying you groceries this month. Your pastor is calling to check up on you, pray for you because that's what pastors do. They check on the sheep, but does the sheep actually check on the pastors?

[00:27:15]As a pastor, I have I have clothed so many people. I have paid bills for so many people. I have taken care of so many children. I have done so much.

[00:27:27]And the truth is when you begin to go through as a leader, it is only right that it is reciprocated. So sometimes we always see we're always seeing where it's so easy for them to curse a pastor, call a pastor or prophet old for taking people's money, doing this, doing that.

[00:27:43]But then there are genuine leaders who are there who are not doing that. They have a heart to help, to give, and to pour into the people. And when you have those genuine leaders, while they're giving into the sheep, we have to learn to give into pastors as well. And that's what makes a lot of prophets feel lonely. They're always doing so much praying and carrying the weight of the prophetic mantle, but then they don't have people taking the time to pray for them and to encourage them. It becomes a lot sometimes. So God wants to test to see if you can hold up, if you can still be surrendered while you're going through prolonged suffering. The seasons that God permits to develop your endurance. It's not always about developing the gift. It's not always about developing your accuracy and precision. It's also about developing your endurance, your ability to be yielded and go through prolonged warfare. And while you're going through it, it's not loud, it's not dramatic, it's not it's not performative, and it is quiet surrender.

[00:28:45]This is why when I was going through, I did not tell anyone. I took the time to take a step back to just endure and to go through in the quiet without the noise, without trying to put on a show to pretend as though I'm okay, I'm doing good. I was not. And so I took the time off to heal, to recover, and to seek the face of God.

[00:29:05]True maturity as a prophet, as a minister of God, as a believer in God, is not only praising God when miracles happen, but it is remaining in a surrender when heaven becomes silent.

[00:29:18]For a while, I still I knew I heard God, but for a while I was still questioning God. Why do I have cancer? Why is heaven so silent? Why are you not saying anything?

[00:29:29]What's going on? For so long I had questions on why is God silent? Why am I not hearing anything? Why am I not feeling anything? My prayers were dry. I prayed the driest prayers ever. But guess what? I still had to pray even though I felt nothing, even though I saw nothing, even though I heard nothing. I was still praying and telling God, I trust you. I have to trust you because why would you allow me to die? This cannot be death. Haven't gone to Africa yet? Kenya, big up yourself. Ghana, showed so to you.

[00:30:03]I'm coming to Africa. I have to come to Africa to preach the gospel. United States, I have not come to the United States of America as yet and I'm going to come there to preach the gospel. I'm going to have a conference and we going we going to kick the devil's behind when I get there. Texas, I'm coming to you sooner.

[00:30:22]I've done conferences in Canada. I've done so much in Jamaica. I've preached the gospel in Bahamas, but there's so many nations who are waiting on me to preach the gospel. How could I die?

[00:30:34]But even though I knew I was not going to die, I still had days where I wondered, would I?

[00:30:40]Will I?

[00:30:42]I was It was a battle. There were days where I was okay and there were days where I was not okay. But on the days where I was not okay, I learned strength and I learned surrender. I learned to trust God because the whole process is not for me to be perfect and oh, I have faith. It is well, it is going to be okay. You're going to live. Everything is going to be fine. No. The process was to break me and oh, I was broken. I balled. I went through the suffering.

[00:31:08]I went through just ensuring that I was asking God, God, when I go under this anesthesia to do this surgery, please let me wake up.

[00:31:16]I struggled through it. But guess what?

[00:31:18]The struggle was necessary.

[00:31:21]It was necessary.

[00:31:23]So, sometimes God chooses us and he trust us to go through the suffering and the heartache.

[00:31:32]That it is choosing trust. You grow to learn to choose trust while your life is spiraling out of control. When you have the questions and the fear and the uncertainty, you're still learning to trust God.

[00:31:46]>> [snorts] >> I want to read this for you. Second Corinthians 12 and 5.

[00:31:50]Paul says, I will boast about such a man, but I will not boast about myself except in my weakness.

[00:31:57]Even though even if I wanted to boast, I would not be a fool because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain so no one will credit to me with more than he sees in me or hears from me. Because of this surpassing great revelation, so to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me. Three times I pleaded to the Lord to take it away from me and he said, my grace is sufficient.

[00:32:28]But my power is made perfect in your weakness. Listen, I asked God to take this away from me, but God said, no, you need to go through this for where I am taking you.

[00:32:38]There is a level of suffering that exposes what is really in a person's heart. Sometimes you may think that you're not conceited, you're not full of yourself, you don't have ego, but God sees it. You don't, but God sees it. And also where he wants to take you, you've never been there before, so you have no idea if you're going to think that you're all that and you nobody can talk to you. So God has to allow you to be broken before the flesh gets the chance, before your flesh gets the opportunity to be elevated, God has to ensure he breaks you. So there's some people that they lose faith, they lose faith when they lose comfort. There's some people that abandon God when they find themselves in a place of discomfort and inconvenience. And so God has to allow the affliction, he has to allow the pruning to refine you, to purify you, and to ensure that you're humble. The suffering does not destroy you.

[00:33:35]It deepens you. It doesn't destroy you.

[00:33:38]God is not going to waste your pain.

[00:33:41]He's not going to waste your suffering.

[00:33:43]And I tell people all the time that I'm going to be paid for my pain.

[00:33:48]I'm going to publish a book. I'm going to do something. I'm going to be paid for my pain. I'm not just going to go through without getting paid.

[00:33:55]The weight of the oil, the glory, the manifestation, the anointing, that's good.

[00:34:01]But for everything that I've missed that was taken, it's going to be restored.

[00:34:06]And Joel says, "The years that the palmer worm, the locust has eaten, I will restore those years." I believe that God will give me double for my trouble. For you, you're dealing with what you're dealing with, and I believe that God is also going to give you double for your trouble. He is not going to waste your pain. Sometimes he permits what you're going through to process you, to deepen your trust for greater humility, spiritual endurance, compassion, dependence on him. But while you're suffering and while the suffering can break a lot of people, other vessels come to God and and learning how to trust him in a greater sense because the weight of what you're going through, it's it's way to it's heavy, but you are able to remain faithful under pressure. You're able to remain yielded under pressure. And so, I've spent so much time just thanking God that I don't know why, but you entrusted me to suffer. Guys, once again, God cannot entrust everybody to suffer because there's some people that will break under the pressure.

[00:35:10]The question is not always, "God, can you heal me?" but "Can you grant me the strength? Can you grant me the grace to be sustained while I'm actually going through?"

[00:35:19]Surrender is proven most when you no longer have control of the outcome and what's going on, but you refuse to let go of God. You refuse to give up on trusting God. Galatians 6:17 says, "I bear the body and the marks of the Lord of the Lord Jesus." Do you bear the mark of God? What scars do you have that say that you have endured, you have gone through for the sake of the gospel? As a prophet of God, what scars you have, what marks do you have?

[00:35:47]There's some people that will show their chevrons. Oh, I've ranked up to the office. I've ranked up to apostleship.

[00:35:53]But what scars and what marks do you have that prove that you have suffered for the oil, that you have gone through the fire for that which you actually carry is or is what you're carrying is itself proclaimed, self-ordained?

[00:36:08]In 2 Corinthians 11:23, Paul says, "Are they ministers of Christ?

[00:36:14]I am more, in labors more abundantly, more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prison more frequent, in deaths often." He says, "Of the Jews, five times I received 40 stripes save one.

[00:36:28]Thrice I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Thrice I suffered shipwreck.

[00:36:34]A night and a day I have been in deep journeys often in perils of water, perils of robbers, perils of my own countrymen, perils by the heathens, perils by the city, perils in the wilderness, perils in the sea, perils in the brethren and perils in the false men.

[00:36:53]Listen, I could rap this thing. In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and in nakedness. Paul says, "I will boast in my suffering."

[00:37:07]Because he valued the power of the suffering that he had to go through.

[00:37:11]I value the suffering. I appreciate it.

[00:37:15]It wasn't easy, but I appreciate it because it brought me closer to God. It built my faith.

[00:37:21]It forced me to be even more humble than ever before.

[00:37:26]So, there hidden seasons that you don't always see, the hidden seasons with misunderstanding, carried burdens other people don't see, learning obedience and surrender through pain that a lot of people don't see. They see the glory. They see the light. They see the manifestation. They see the blessing, but they don't see what you've actually endured. And then there's some people that have the audacity to say, "You know, how did you get so anointed?

[00:37:52]How did you get so blessed? How are you driving fancy cars, wearing clothes, looking so beautiful?" Because I suffered. Because I paid the price for it. Because it did not come overnight. I had to suffer for what I actually have.

[00:38:06]So, God isn't just anointing you to speak. He's also anointing you to endure.

[00:38:11]The bruising was necessary.

[00:38:14]The pressing, the scolding was necessary. And at the end of it all, after you have have broken, can God entrust you to suffer without abandoning him?

[00:38:25]Can God entrust you to bear the weight of the mantle, the shame, the humiliation, knowing that it is going to produce a greater weight of glory? This light affliction cannot be compared to the weight of glory which shall be revealed in them who are called into Jesus Christ according to the purpose of Christ.

[00:38:47]So, I believe that my season taught me surrender, endurance, intimacy with God, and spiritual maturity, and surrender, and that it's not going to waste. I don't know what you're going through. I don't know what pain you have to go through, but it's necessary.

[00:39:02]It is necessary.

[00:39:04]Not everyone understands, and sometimes you're not permitted to tell people that you're going through cuz you tell them they're going to encourage you, pour into you.

[00:39:12]Sometimes God wants you to suffer and struggle alone with just the people who are in your corner. Sometimes God wants you to endure and be broken alone without the noise. He wants you to trust his voice.

[00:39:24]He wants you to trust his voice. He wants you to lean on his word.

[00:39:31]I didn't have pastors and prophets calling me to pray for me and pour into me.

[00:39:36]Some one and two knew, as I said, there were one and two persons that knew.

[00:39:41]But I didn't have people calling me to I didn't have like these pastors and prophets calling me to pray for me. I was alone. I was I so That's what you call isolation. Isolation is not you closing the door on everyone.

[00:39:52]Isolation is I told one or two people that I can trust in the prophetic that they did not call me to pray with me. God bless the two persons.

[00:40:08]I I'm I'm I'm being so honest that called me to say, "Prophetess, can I pray with you?

[00:40:14]Can I'm standing with you in this season.

[00:40:17]Two.

[00:40:20]Um I'm not upset. I'm not bitter. I'm not angry. Sometimes God has to cause you to be alone that you can trust him.

[00:40:29]That you can walk with him hand in hand.

[00:40:31]I walked this journey hand in hand with Jesus.

[00:40:35]Because there was no one else. It was God.

[00:40:38]Who was going to come to help me? It was God. Who was going to come to rescue me?

[00:40:43]It was God. I had to learn many lessons before where God wanted to take me. And so, I want to encourage you today that if you're going through, you're suffering, and no one understands, no one knows. Some people Some people won't understand why you have to go through something over and over and over because God wants to ensure that you remain humble and he can entrust you with the oil that's coming on your life. These are some of the things that true real prophets actually go through behind the scenes. It's not just the preached and the prophecy. There's also a behind the scenes. And this is what I'm talking about in this prophetic episode. I'm going to episodes I'm going to be teaching on, you know, from the signs you're a prophet to the different dimensions and ranks in the prophetic. There's so many things that I want to actually teach you about prophetic ranks, prophetic heights, hearing the voice of God. All of this that I just shared with you was learning how to hear the voice of God.

[00:41:35]The dreams I misinterpreted, God telling me to change my diet. I was learning the voice of God and I had no idea that that was really God's voice talking to me.

[00:41:46]If you can't hear God's voice in your own life, how are you going to hear his voice for someone else? And this is what this journey did. It deepened and anchored me to know the voice of God.

[00:41:58]I've prophesied, called names, do all those deep things before, but then God is saying, "That's good, but there's more."

[00:42:05]What you're going through right now, God is just saying there's so much more that I want to reveal to you.

[00:42:11]If this episode has helped you, encouraged blessed you, I want you to share with someone. Share the video with someone that needs to hear this teaching. Leave a comment in the comment section. How did this video help you?

[00:42:22]And if you have If you have questions that you want to ask, do not be afraid to go ahead and ask your question so I can answer them. I can answer them in the next podcast episode and I can encourage you as you encourage me and someone else who's also struggling as well. If you have cancer, you've had cancer, or you're going through something and you need help, you can leave it in the comment section so I can pray with you and I can encourage you.

[00:42:46]And I also encourage you to book your one-on-one prophetic consultation. I can sit with you to share with you You're trying to figure out what is your calling, your purpose, what are your gifts, what type of prophet are you, what is your assignment, and what you should be doing in this season, feel free to go ahead and book your consultation today at shanikaabickfordministries.org.

[00:43:07]Thank you guys so much for watching and I'll see you in the next one. Born [singing] inspired, [music] equipped by the word and forged in fire. She carry a weaponized praise, never tired.

[00:43:18]They don't know what I've been through in [singing and music] the dark.