Uncomfortable Truths: Black Women, Migration & Belonging in Canada | Ft. Blessings Timidi Digha

本站添加: 2026-05-25

[00:00:00]H I still cannot see myself.

[00:00:03]>> But I can see But you can see me.

[00:00:06]>> Yes, but I'll continue.

[00:00:08]>> Okay.

[00:00:10]>> Welcome. Thank you so much. Blessings.

[00:00:13]>> Thank you. Thank you for having me.

[00:00:16]>> Of course. Of course. The honor is all mine.

[00:00:20]>> Hope you're doing well and welcome, welcome, welcome everyone.

[00:00:24]Uh if you're here for the first time, welcome. And if you're a returning subscriber and OG, welcome back. Of course, you know, I'm Hola, your DI bestie. And you know what we do here? We keep it real, exploring and unpacking all things diversity, equity, and inclusion. And I really hope that you leave every video, every live on this channel with more inspiration to co-create a more equitable and inclusive world. Now to the to the gist of the day, to the juice of the day.

[00:00:59]We have blessings to meet the digger.

[00:01:02]Drum rolls.

[00:01:04]We have blessings in the house today.

[00:01:07]And I really do not take it for granted.

[00:01:09]Bless amazing sister. You know, someone I really respect, someone love so much, and someone that is going to do a lot of justice to to the topic of the day because expert like that. We're going to be discussing uncomfortable truths like we we shared uh black women migration and belonging. Very spicy topic. But before we dive into the topic properly, blessings, do you mind introducing yourself? Over to you.

[00:01:40]>> Tell us tell us all you want to tell us.

[00:01:44]>> Okay. Thank you so much, Alli. Nice to be here again. No, I said again. It's nice to be here with you but first time here. Um hi everyone. My name is Blessings Timmy Dia. I am originally from Nigeria but um right now I have naturalized in Canada.

[00:02:06]Um I am 39 years old. I'm very I'm looking forward to my 40s. So I belong to a group where we're called migrants or settlers here in Canada. And um I work in sexual reproductive health and rights. I have done this for 20 years now. It's been a whole journey of you know working in sexual reproductive health and rights and connecting it to the different facets of life you know because it just it impacts every area of our lives. It impacts it impacts us in ways that even we don't fathom. Right? And the fact that there is inadequate research, inadequate funding on these issues just make it more difficult for us. And so the onus lies on a lot of us to do the talking, the speaking, the pushing, the lobbying and that's where I belong. I am a doctoral student. I am doing my PhD right now on social justice.

[00:03:15]Thank you so much. I love to read both um academically and for leisure. I read a lot. I read everything from tickets.

[00:03:24]I'm that person. You give me my ticket, I'm reading it. You give me my bill at the restaurant, I'm reading it. I I love to read. Um and then I love being in school. So yeah, being a PhD, I'm I haven't run mad yet. hopefully knock on wood that I finish without losing my marbles but we get to do a lot of writing a lot of publishing a lot of speaking and I love that aspect. Um doing my PhD is something I've done this work being on the front line for a lot of years. So doing a PhD is going to help me like segue fully into academia.

[00:04:07]>> Um on a personal side I'm a mom. I have two daughters very I have an older daughter and I have an infant but um it just helps it helps balance me. My older daughter is at the age where she can give me advice and ground me and then my younger daughter is you know she's that she's at that little age where I kind of have more reasons to push every day.

[00:04:36]>> Um what else should I tell you? I love colors. It's unfortunate that I'm wearing black today. I had to wear that because of the background. I didn't know how it was going to um interfere with the interface. But I do love colors. I believe I believe that we should live life in colors. And when you live in a country like Canada, you have to deliberately incorporate colors into your life. If not, you just find out that all your clothing is black or gray.

[00:05:05]So, I I love colors. I love to rest. I love to rest. I love to sleep. The part of rest that I really love is sleep. I always look for an excuse to get on my bed. And um this is from being a first daughter, a black woman. You know, we're always expected to be on the move, on the go. But um I deliberately carve out that space to rest, to sleep, to just be without any form of guilt.

[00:05:39]Um I still consider myself a newcomer.

[00:05:42]Canada considers you a newcomer for 5 years. But the truth is that when you're not white >> or white facing >> you're or white person you you 5 years is still not enough. Um you don't really really belong. I was going to use another word but that's the word you you don't really really belong. There's always something that is holding you back.

[00:06:12]And so, yeah, that's me in summary. I'm happy to be here. I've always um, you know, fang girlled the life. So, I'm happy. I'm happy to be here.

[00:06:23]>> Thank you so much. I'm fangirling you right back and I'm I'm so excited that you're here today. I can't hide it. I'm sure it's written all over me. U, thank you so much as well for such a holistic introduction. you know, being in very professional, more like stuffy spaces that people choose to only introduce the expert sides of themselves, like without really uncovering the crevices. This is very refreshing and I wish we could do more of this. I feel like I know you now to a great extent.

[00:06:58]>> Thank you. Thank you so much.

[00:07:02]>> Yeah. So bless I think you already started delving into the >> I wanted to ask you know you said you're you've naturalized and but you're still in the in between right where you're apart but you know still like there's a long way to go in terms of belonging.

[00:07:20]>> So I wanted to know what your immigration journey in a nutshell has been like. um how how your lived experience and your personal experiences as an immigrant now shapes the work you do. I I wish you could share a bit more about that.

[00:07:37]>> Okay, I I can try. Let me see if I can box eight n years into a few sentences, but um I moved to Canada in 2018.

[00:07:48]I didn't plan to move. That's I whenever I say that people find it very shocking.

[00:07:54]I didn't plan to move. I was one of those people who I I loved what I was doing. I love what I do and I was okay with, you know, traveling the world, doing what I was doing and going back to Nigeria. But, um, in 2018, I had like a, you know, major incident in my life and I had to move. And even at the time, I still didn't think I thought it was going to be like a temporal, you know, move just for a few months or for a few weeks just to get myself.

[00:08:31]>> But um 2018, this is 2026, I'm still here. And it's been a it's been a journey. And um one key aspect that I think that I should mention before going too far is that I recognize that my own journey is different from a lot of people especially people who kind of worked the same part with me.

[00:09:00]um because you know I will not underestimate or I will not um ignore the privilege that I had in my journey.

[00:09:12]>> Yeah.

[00:09:13]>> Because and the reason I mention that is because privilege can be blinding.

[00:09:17]>> I admit that not everyone had the same journey as me even though we walked the same parts together side by side. Um, I came to Canada seeking asylum because I was scared for my life. A lot of things happened in 2018 and it just shrunk to that moment after I traveled to the US and um I wanted to go for vacation that you know a lot of journeys a lot of decisions just led me here >> and 8 years down the line I'm still here. It's been hard. I I think that I try to always say that to be honest because people see me and they say, "Oh yes, blessing is killing it."

[00:10:12]But to be honest, it's been a very hard journey. Um just last month I practically had like a whole crash out and everybody in my house were looking at me like really? But yeah really because I still have moments where I ask myself did I do the right thing? Did I you know when I think of my journey when I think of what I was what I was becoming sometimes I grieve you know >> I grieve that journey. I grieve leaving so much behind and having to start from ground zero. So people always say that we start from where we are. To be honest, as a migrant, as a black woman, a lot of times we start from ground zero. And I started from ground zero.

[00:11:10]>> So that part also is there. And it it also shapes how I move. It shapes it shapes the work I do. It shapes my own personal identity, you know, because sometimes I just remember and like h I try to I try to project what my trajectory would have been if I didn't migrate >> and um while still being grateful for where I am right now, where I found myself and how well quote unquote I'm doing right now. But um my migration journey has been filled with a lot of lessons. I have faced a lot of microaggressions. I have faced a lot of microaggressions.

[00:11:59]Some of the aggressions are very micro that I don't clock it till months after. I just wake up and I'm like, wait, what? That that was not something that should have happened. you know, um, there's also been growth along the way. There's been a lot of allies.

[00:12:21]There's been people who have just, you know, mentioned my name in the room.

[00:12:25]There's been people who have who have just helped prop me, who have helped, you know, remind me of who I am even though I am here, you know, right now.

[00:12:37]>> Yeah.

[00:12:37]>> And there's been a lot of unlearning.

[00:12:40]There's been a lot of learning.

[00:12:43]there's been a lot of having to take a step back and evolving >> because again that's that's one mistake that a lot of migrants make when you get to a new society. You're still with that old mindset. You're still with, you know, you're not dropping. There are certain things that you're supposed to drop and pick up certain things. You're not dropping it. you're just moving as if you're still where you used to be.

[00:13:13]So, there's been a lot of evolving >> and it's still ongoing. So, yeah.

[00:13:20]>> Oh, your journey sounds so full uh in the sense that there has been all sorts like all of all of the works, right? And I I think that's the beauty of the experience and that's why migration is such a powerful thing. I mean, it's empowering, but it's hard, right? It it's almost like it pushes you to do things in a way that you've never ever imagined and it uncovers >> several parts of you that you never even knew existed and it happened so fast and you know, it's it's interesting and thank you for sharing that. I'm sure a lot of people can resonate with that. um blessing when we started to talk about belonging you know but I think before we even unpack that further I'd like to know what you what you conceive of the word what what does belonging mean to you like not dictionary definition not max or Oxford it's like two bless >> two blessings who is the mom the migrant the black woman the doctoral researcher the SR and social justice expert. What does belonging? Yes. Yes.

[00:14:37]Mean to you personally.

[00:14:39]>> Okay. To me me like this. Blessings to me. Dear, belonging to me um simply means being part of a space or a system without having to justify my presence >> and without having to lose myself.

[00:15:08]M >> so it's to me or for me those are the most important parts of belonging to me that's what belonging is >> I don't have to justify my presence and I don't have to lose myself and I always want both to work par pursu side by side so if I have to if belonging makes me you know okay yes I'm in this system I'm not justifying my presence but I'm losing myself then I I don't belong. If I I'm not losing myself but I always have to justify my presence in that system and I don't belong. So for me and to me belonging is being part of a system a space without having to justify my presence and without having to lose myself. That's it for me.

[00:16:08]>> We should frame that definition and maybe write it because feel I feel exactly the same and I feel like it captures some nuances around belonging because people tend to think that fitting in is what we mean when we talk about belonging. Mhm.

[00:16:27]>> But like I always say, yes, you don't have to, you know, forget about your core values, shrink yourself, or, you know, just morph yourself into something that you're not >> that you're not. Yeah.

[00:16:40]>> For people to think you fit in. That's not being right. Belonging is when you can be your full self. Yeah. I I definitely agree with that and I'll be using that definition going forward.

[00:16:52]Thank you. Thank you so much.

[00:16:54]>> I love it. From where from where you stand blessing because I know you have such a unique migration experience. Do you think migrants experience belonging differently, especially when it comes to the the nuances that come with, you know, identifying as a particular gender or even, you know, sex, you know, like or even race, for instance, and all other intersectionalities.

[00:17:26]um >> do you think there are significant differences in terms of the belonging experience?

[00:17:34]>> Yeah, there are there are actually first of all I think I mentioned grief earlier. That's one core way that we experience belonging differently.

[00:17:47]We're constantly grieving who who we were, what we left behind, and who we are now. the one dictomy that I would try so much not to sound very schooll like >> but one one dictomy that migration creates is that you become you're not enough for both worlds. So you you're not enough for people back home and you're not enough for your new home here. So back home they see you as different here you are seen as different right and so that's one way that we experience you know migration differently that grief is something that we carry around and it's not everyone who you know takes a step back to grieve properly allow themselves grieve and you can see you you You can tell if you're someone who works in certain spaces when you come across certain migrants, you can tell that they haven't grieved their migration journey.

[00:19:07]And so it reflects in everything that they do. It reflects in how they carry themselves. It reflects in how they navigate the system. There's usually that battle, right? It makes it harder.

[00:19:20]>> But we experience migration. We experience belonging differently based on our race, our gender, our class, our mindsets, our religion, >> our um language. You know, you come from, for example, now I was born in Nigeria and I was every school I went to, we spoke English. English is our first language. is, you know, and then you come to a country like Canada and they're like, "Oh my god, you speak English so well for I'm like, um, no, don't do that. I was brought up in English."

[00:20:04]>> Yes.

[00:20:05]>> I, in fact, I'm sure I can speak better English than you because our expression of English language as Nigerians, as Africans is very robust. We use very bogus words, you know, we're very expressive. And so that's that's one way that we experience belonging differently. Our sexuality.

[00:20:26]>> Yeah.

[00:20:26]>> You think you're one way and then you come and you realize that, okay, maybe I'm not that way. Or you come and you realize that the way you know or the way that everybody tries to prop up is not the only way.

[00:20:43]There are other ways. You know, the migration status. The truth is there's a hierarchy irrespect even though we try not to say it loud. There's a hierarchy. There's a people respect you based on how you came into the country. So if you came in through asylum, they see you as the lowest rung. You come in through student visa, they see you somewhere, you know, you come through permanent residence, they see you a different way.

[00:21:14]>> There's that.

[00:21:15]>> Yeah. The migration status also impacts how you belong and it also impacts you know the push the pull. It um it impacts how you grow. That's just the truth. The truth is that belonging is not distributed equally.

[00:21:34]>> It is shaped by it is shaped by our different intersections. It is also shaped by social hierarchies and um you know the systems and when I say systems I mean power. So yeah we experience um my you know belonging differently as migrants.

[00:21:56]>> Yeah. Yeah. Everything you said everything you said. Um and I just want to bring it back a little bit more personally to you as a black woman. Um, what are those specific moments like please feel free to be as granular as possible where you have felt both included and where you have felt excluded in Canadian society. And I wanted to really think back to moments where any moments if they exist where you felt like wow I'm a part of this now or wow I really am not a part of this I have to either change myself or shrink myself to be seen as a part of this. I really want to hear both sides of the the coin.

[00:22:44]>> Okay.

[00:22:48]There's been a lot of moments but let me choose this one moment.

[00:22:51]>> Here we are here.

[00:22:54]>> I felt really included in 2019.

[00:23:04]>> I I took a course. It's called um the immigrant women integration program IWIP. It's for women who want to get into the community sector where we work.

[00:23:24]>> Okay.

[00:23:24]>> Um it was hard when I came to get into the sector. It was very hard. everybody.

[00:23:30]There were a lot of ceilings to break and to and so I had to take that course because there was going to be internship, there was going to be placement, you know, I was going to meet people and so I took that course and then I I did my placement at the University of Toronto >> where I met Prof. Lesie Lesie Chan and from the first day he never treated me like I, you know, let me break this down. You get into certain spaces, they are not seeing your expertise. They are seeing you face value. They're seeing a black woman sitting across them. They are seeing a newcomer that can be exploited sitting across them. But from the first day I met this person, they treated me with utmost dignity. Utmost dignity.

[00:24:33]They included me in spaces even when I wasn't there. Like you know you're not in a in a place but someone brings up your name every time in the room.

[00:24:45]>> That was problemlessly for me. And at some point because prior to joining that program, I had volunteered in a few places and in one of the places where I volunteered, they kept like reminding me that I didn't have Canadian experience. They kept reminding me that I, you know, black woman and all that. And so I went into the University of Toronto with that mindset >> and I would always have a I don't want to say caveat. I would always have a disclaimer >> before you know when I introduced myself have a disclaimer when I and then one day he called me and he's like no I've noticed you doing this don't do that.

[00:25:40]you are belonging like you belong in this space. You deserve to be in this space and as long as you want to be in this space, I will everything I can to support you but you deserve to be in this space. And he made me realize that, you know, that conversation changed my mindset. Like I came out of that conversation with a chip on my shoulder.

[00:26:08]If you literally put a meal in my head that day, it will b because it made me realize that a lot of people in academic settings >> don't have the practical knowledge. They don't have the field knowledge. Now here I am, I have field knowledge and then I do a lot of reading.

[00:26:29]>> I deserve to be here. That period I was supposed to write some stuff. you know we would write a lot of publications and all that and I reached out to him I let him know I am struggling I there's a way I write when I write you can tell that blessing wrote this yes it can be very very formal but there's that quirky side there's that funny side I still try my personality still shows >> and then you're asking me to write something for academia and I'm hearing all you guys talk about pedagogies this pedagogy that what am I going to do and he's like no you don't have to pedogy like us just write right you we also as academia we deserve to read someone who writes not like a robot we deserve to read something that is not filled with pedagogy and chronology and all that and that really helped me it helped me you know I came out of that placement with like it just changed my world view.

[00:27:42]>> It showed me that >> whether I have Nigerian experience or whatever experience I deserve to be here. I belong here. I'm here now. So I belong here.

[00:27:57]>> And that really helped. It really helped. It is one thing that has helped me you know in my journey. Um he encouraged me to go back to school.

[00:28:07]>> He wrote my He's going to kill me but he wrote my recommendation for school.

[00:28:12]>> Yes.

[00:28:13]>> Yes. And so it's just been very wonderful, you know, having that space and then having people to tell you to remind you of your essence, >> to remind you that, you know, the journey is not how far but how well, you know, and the things we pick up along the way. Now to the part where I always dread talking about.

[00:28:38]>> Yeah.

[00:28:41]I don't know which one to narrow down to.

[00:28:44]>> We >> I've had experience of someone making monkey sounds.

[00:28:50]>> Oh god.

[00:28:51]>> And they said they were not referring to me.

[00:28:57]But when I look in the room at the time, I was the only black person. And I say this because Oh, sorry. A lot of people see me and they're like, "Are you Caribbean? Are you this? Are you that?" But in certain rooms, I'm the only black person.

[00:29:17]>> And so, oh, that's my baby. Imagine me being in a room and then someone is monkeying.

[00:29:28]I've had those experiences.

[00:29:30]I've had an experience at the height of COVID. When COVID started, it was hard getting the black community to embrace co um the vaccines.

[00:29:42]And so there was a program that brought certain leaders in the black community together so that we could reach out to our community members to use the vaccine.

[00:29:57]>> Okay?

[00:29:58]>> And I was that person for my community.

[00:30:02]>> Okay.

[00:30:03]And um there were a lot of macro, this was not micro microaggressions.

[00:30:14]>> I Hello. Oh, can you see me?

[00:30:22]>> Yes, I can see you.

[00:30:24]>> All right. I had to pull out of that program at some point.

[00:30:30]>> Wow. because it was it was something else.

[00:30:36]>> And like I said at the beginning, for me belonging is I don't have to justify my presence.

[00:30:45]>> Yeah.

[00:30:45]>> And I don't have to lose myself. So imagine me having to go to work and I am scared. I'm scared to join meetings. I'm already every time I look at my calendar, oh my god, we're going to have meetings. XYZ person is going to be at that meeting. I start to have palpitations. I start to have panic attacks. And I'm not really scared of a lot of things. So that was a, you know, clue for me to it was a you need to leave.

[00:31:20]And it was hard because it was good job.

[00:31:24]It was paying well, but it wasn't It wasn't fulfilling. It wasn't helping.

[00:31:31]It was adding to my issues. And so I left.

[00:31:36]I've had um issues with health. So when I first got here, there's a way trauma changes your whole chemistry. People don't know that, but I experienced it.

[00:31:46]And I had to go into the health sector to be cared for and all that. And many times everybody's just talking over my head and I'm like, I'm right here. I'm telling you how I feel, but everybody's just saying, "Oh, this is they're, you know, they're deciding for you." And I remember the person that made so the last doctor I encountered >> that made me make up my mind that I was only going to work with black practitioners going forward kept saying as a black person I'm telling you you don't know these things and I'm like no no no no no hold up I know these things and we we were we used to be treated back home, right? We used to >> like this is not this is not a new experience, >> right? My guy, we have doctors back home like for I'm not trying to brag here, but Nigerian doctors are one of the best doctors worldwide because >> you know, we realize that a lot of doctors do like specialization from the get-go. Nigerian doctors do general medicine, then they specialize. So you talk to a Nigerian doctor about certain things. There's hardly stuff that they don't know. We can put aside the cockiness and all that for now. But Nigerian doctors >> issues.

[00:33:16]>> Yes. Yes. But they are one of the best.

[00:33:18]So when you tell me I don't know these things, I'm looking at you like wait what? No, no, no, no. Don't say that to me. At the beginning at that at the beginning of that project the COVID project I remember that a lot of Nigerian doctors were like just treat this sickness with malaria drugs. Treat it with malaria drugs and everybody kept saying no no no. Well, we came back to treating the bulk of it with malaria drugs.

[00:33:48]>> Anyways, um it was bad.

[00:33:53]>> It was bad. It was. That's my baby.

[00:33:56]>> Do you need You need to grab her.

[00:33:58]>> Yes.

[00:33:58]>> Just give me one minute. I will grab her.

[00:34:01]>> Of course. Of course.

[00:34:03]>> Wow. Uh I I really I really Wow. I can really resonate with a lot that blessing has been sharing. Um especially the point of having someone who in a new system where you're still feeling new and just finding your feet. having someone who hey having someone who would really you know stand up for you and make an effort to help you integrate that's really special. I was talking about uh Professor Lesie, I think. Uh >> yes.

[00:34:37]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:34:39]>> When I say my prayers, I pray for him and his family twice because >> it's it's, you know, being even though he's been here all his life, but according to the Canadian, you know, society, he's still a migrant. Um he and I find that very special about him that he deliberately builds these tables and gives us those platforms to >> um you know to flourish.

[00:35:10]>> Yeah. Yes. So, like I was saying before I left, right, when I had to go into the health system, health system to get my health checked, it was something else because everybody kept deciding, feeling like they knew what was best for me.

[00:35:29]Something as simple as an iron supplement.

[00:35:32]>> I've been Oh, no. I've been anemic.

[00:35:36]I've been anemic all my life.

[00:35:38]>> Allow her chime in.

[00:35:41]I've been anemic all my life and I've always taken like iron supplements >> and so coming here they had to continue the iron supplements, right? But the doctor at the time changed the supplements and I let them realize that I've used this supplements before. It affected me and they're like, "No, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:36:06]Okay." And so I go back to use it and it was it messed me up.

[00:36:13]I had to use those supplements for almost a year. It took me seeing by the time I got my family doctor full-time he now reverted me to the former supplements and those are you know some of the little ways and I call these little ways because they are very big ways right >> they're not so >> that >> you experience this journey you experience the You're made not to feel you don't feel belong you know you don't feel like you belong here and then there are ways where you feel belong you know you feel like >> this is home I I I fit here >> when I was going to have my baby at some point I was like I'm I cannot let me just have a cescareian section and go and everybody's everybody was like no and I'm like no no no no no no I had to put my foot down and say this is what I want. I want it now. It has to happen now. And I remember one of the nurses was like something black woman and I'm like hello. I am an exposed black woman, an educated one at that. I know what I am saying. If I say I want a cicerian section right now, I want it right now.

[00:37:38]And you know, just advocating for myself endlessly and aggressively was what saved me. It was like we were a few minutes close to for it to become something else. I could have lost the baby. They could have lost me. But you know, I just kept telling them it doesn't feel right. I don't feel right.

[00:37:59]I'm the one with the body, right?

[00:38:02]Irrespective of what the machines are telling you. And even the machines are telling you that >> it's not looking right. But I am telling you that I don't feel right. I don't let's let's get this, you know, done with. So these are some of the ways where you're made not to feel like you belong. You have to like push push push.

[00:38:24]And then there's also the good part.

[00:38:26]There's parts where people um push for you. There's parts where DEI will speak for you because yeah, there are certain quotas that have to be filled and sometimes you get to be the it's a hard truth. People don't like to hear it, but you get to be the lucky lucky quarter.

[00:38:48]>> Well, >> it's also part it's part of belonging.

[00:38:51]>> The quer doesn't exist in a vacuum. So, nobody would select you simply because they need the quotota filled, right?

[00:38:59]>> Yeah. You bring something to the table.

[00:39:02]>> Yes. And and that's the part people try to erase that always, you know, bring forward like, "Hey, stop it."

[00:39:09]>> The quarter is part of belonging.

[00:39:11]Actually, it is a huge part of belonging because you're not going to pick a random black person on the road or a random black woman on the road. Oh, she's just walking by. Hey, black girl, do you want to work here?

[00:39:26]You bring something to the table. So yeah, it's part of belonging. I agree.

[00:39:30]>> Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god, I wish we could continue that, but I'm putting I'm at the clock and I'm like, h we need to move.

[00:39:37]>> Bring me again.

[00:39:39]>> So blessing. I know you violated the healthc care, you know, inequities and all, but do you feel like there are other parts of the system that um fail black migrant women specifically?

[00:39:55]>> Yeah. Like What parts? Yeah, >> there's the law enforcement part.

[00:40:05]>> There's the law enforcement part. And I see this in my work all the time. The response black women, black girls, black kids get is different from the response that, you know, white people get or white passing people get. M >> we're currently having a missing black boys epidemic in Ontario.

[00:40:37]>> So um Ontario is a transit city for um traffickers.

[00:40:44]>> Oh wow.

[00:40:45]>> Yeah. Especially Toronto. So Toronto, Niagara are transit cities because they connect to the US. And so once you get to the once they get you across, that's it. It takes it takes a strong law enforcement agency and God to bring you back because the person just disappears like you just get missing. And it took a while. It took a while for you know the system to say you know what this is an epidemic. Something is happening. Why are we missing boys, black boys at this rate?

[00:41:30]>> Yeah, >> it took a while for the system to also call like a state of emergency on gender based violence. And guess what? It's because it was mostly Oh my god, baby girl, don't do that. It's because it was mostly happening to black women.

[00:41:50]>> Yeah. When um police come to a house, if there is, you know, reports of violence, the response depends on the police, the person, >> not the system. The person that comes now decides if they want to take it seriously or if they just want to say, "Oh, don't do that again." You know, that's one of the ways in which we're failing, you know, migrant women, black women.

[00:42:25]>> The health care system, the health care system, the gaslighting, the medical misogyny is so is something else. And that's why you see a lot of black people. Stop that. A lot of black people, a lot of black women insisting on having to see a black practitioner.

[00:42:48]>> Yeah.

[00:42:49]>> They And when you if you don't find a black practitioner, >> we look for brown practitioners. So, Indians, you know, Chinese because they are the ones who will listen to you. My gynecologist is a black woman. She has a wait list of 2 years. 2 years. Because every black woman that has heard about her wants to be on her list.

[00:43:19]>> And so she has a serious weight list.

[00:43:23]And even when she's referring people, they're like, "No, we're going to wait for you." Do you know how bad that is for >> because these are the people that will listen. These are the people. So my family doctor when I want to explain certain things that I feel is wrong with me. I'm not worried about using certain terminology because he would listen even if he doesn't understand it. He'll go you you get what I mean right?

[00:43:58]>> But some practitioners will shut you down from the word go. And so those are the ways in which you know we're failing um migrant women even in the job system.

[00:44:13]>> You come here you see a lot of black women taking up care jobs taking up I'm not saying that these jobs are not >> good jobs of course but it is the system there is that there's the need for Okay, go down. there's the need for um the the the glass ceilings, the requirements are getting harder by the day. And so now you're left with certain jobs. In social justice, we call them the 3Ds. The dirty jobs, the dangerous jobs, and the discriminatory jobs. So the dirty jobs nobody wants to do. the care jobs.

[00:45:00]>> You make they make the entry level for those kind of jobs very easy.

[00:45:07]>> Yeah.

[00:45:08]>> The dangerous jobs, the jobs where you're taking care of someone, they're breaking a bottle on your head and you cannot react because, okay, they have dementia, okay, it's part of your job, blah blah blah. You know, dangerous jobs, jobs where you are at a risk of being attacked.

[00:45:27]>> Yeah. both physically, sexually, you know, and you cannot do anything about it because then when you react, you become the abuser.

[00:45:37]>> But at that moment, a lot of times it is defense. Then the discriminatory jobs, the jobs where if you're um a refugee, you have um your work permit starts with a certain number, you cannot go above certain jobs. Certain sectors will not take you the moment they realize that oh you're not fully into the system. Even when you have those um the requirements, you have the expertise, >> you can do >> you can do the job >> but the discriminatory policies in place will not you know let you. So those are some of the ways that we fail the system and migration fails black women. There's the other parts where there's the emotional part, there's the cultural part, there's the part where we're expected to be all.

[00:46:37]>> We are expected to be all and um be all very well. You're not not just doing it, but you must do it well.

[00:46:44]>> Yeah.

[00:46:45]>> And the expectations are usually left for black women. It's always us. We're the ones that everybody feels we're superheroes. So, yeah. M yeah. Yeah.

[00:46:57]What blessings? What are some issues that um black women face >> of their bodies in terms of I know you you work section of SR and social justice. So what are some of those issues about women's bodies, women's rights, women's dignity that we're still uncomfortable having that we still have a lot of silence and stigma around?

[00:47:30]Everything everything I'll say that first of all for us here in the Canadian society the first issue that we have is data. So we don't have race data, race based data.

[00:47:48]The race based data we have is very it's quite recent and so it impacts a lot of stuff that we do and we know right. So it's white data is the default and then the rest of us just come under. There are certain there are certain there's certain work that you want to go for and you you wouldn't even find is either is white or black and so everybody who is not white is put on that black so plus black Chinese Indians just lump us all up together >> some try yeah some try but it's it's not enough right so that's the first issue everything everything It's now there's a new rise of organizations um advocates that are beginning to talk about a whole lot of stuff. So for example, female genital mutilation, >> the average Canadian, white Canadian doesn't know about it.

[00:48:54]>> And when you talk about it, they are usually very surprised, shocked, right?

[00:49:02]But it's something that the rest of us know about. And so we start talking about it because we found out that this is something that also happens here >> within certain communities but they have a very they have a code of silence around it but it happens inside of Canada you know so endometrosis when you go to the hospital you present that you're this is how you feel they start to treat you for something else entirely >> it takes someone to say, "No, no, no.

[00:49:37]Let's let's run this back." Right? Um PCOS, now called PMOS.

[00:49:43]>> A lot of black women, you go to the hospital and they just tell you, "Lose weight, eat vegetables, do this, do that, do that." It takes you meeting someone that is um interested, if that's the word I should use, someone that is interested in these topics to say, "You know what? Okay, let's run test. go see an endocrinologist, go see this, go see that >> to get to the baseline. So every we're filling black women in every area. Every area, even in child birth here, even here in Canada, your the average doctor will just from day one will start telling you will start telling you about a cescareian section from day one. What?

[00:50:30]Even when I don't have any issues because they want to pom pom pom onto the next pom pom pom onto the next. So >> every area to be honest, every area you have to advocate for yourself endlessly, aggressively, we have to keep keep at it.

[00:50:49]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I definitely hear you and I hope that advocacy brings systematic systemic change soon.

[00:50:56]Blessings >> hopefully. Unfortunately, we can't >> so much more time. I'm really sad about that.

[00:51:04]>> Bring me back.

[00:51:05]>> Just to come back.

[00:51:06]>> Of course, you're you can't you can't get away that easily. Conclude, if you were to paint a futuristic picture, what does belonging for migrant women look?

[00:51:28]Okay.

[00:51:31]Futuristic picture >> for black migrant women.

[00:51:36]>> Yeah, exactly.

[00:51:42]I look forward to a future for black migrant women >> where we have systems that we don't have to I will still infuse that def my personal definition where we don't have to justify our presence >> where we don't have to lose ourselves even in the smallest ways um where the system listens to us and when I say listens to us this is putting in mind that no system is thorough >> right no system is thorough but a system that listens is a system that can work for you >> so I'm looking forward to that future where we don't have to justify our presence. We don't have to lose ourselves where and the system listens to us and there are no glass ceilings specific to black women. So we know that there are black ceiling sorry there are ceilings that glass ceilings that you know cover women.

[00:53:06]>> Yeah. But under the glass ceiling that all women stand, there is what we call a black ceiling.

[00:53:14]>> Yeah.

[00:53:14]>> And um it now makes the struggle harder.

[00:53:17]You have to now break the black ceiling before you now get to that other ceiling.

[00:53:22]>> And so I look forward to a time where we don't have those ceilings.

[00:53:27]If we have these four things, I feel that we can we can we we can be better than we are. So >> a future where we don't have to justify our presence. We don't have to lose ourselves. The system listens to us and there are no black glass ceilings.

[00:53:50]>> Yeah. Yeah. Very well said. Very well said. I I mean I understand the concept of the black ceiling, but I've never really heard it called that. So, thank you. Thank you for sharing that.

[00:54:02]>> Social justice, we have definitions for every goddamn thing.

[00:54:06]>> Framework for everything. Finally, Blessing, if you were to talk to black or black girls who are currently navigating migration and identity, what would be your final words of wisdom, encouragement, whatever to them?

[00:54:25]>> You belong. You are here.

[00:54:28]Your journey brought you here and um this is home now. So you belong irrespective of what anybody says. You do belong here and you deserve to take up space. Take up space. Take up as much space as possible. And this specific message is for black women and black girls. Please use the resources at hand.

[00:54:58]There are a lot of resources in the countries that you go to, especially free resources that can help you get into certain spaces that can help you get into certain systems. I know that as black people, we don't really like free things, but there are certain free things that make the difference.

[00:55:22]Use those resources >> for your own good. If there is a free resource for camping and it's your thing, please go. You get to meet people. You get to meet other people.

[00:55:39]You get to network. I know that everybody always thinks of networking up, but we need to learn to network, you know, at our level. You get to make relationships that will carry you all through your life.

[00:55:57]I have friends from secondary school that we still carry each other through life. I've I've known Ola for Ola. It's been how many? It's 10 years.

[00:56:06]>> Are you sure it's not more?

[00:56:08]>> Yeah, it's we've we and we've watched each other grow. We've, you know, through different stages of life, >> you know. So, use these free resources.

[00:56:19]There's a free resource to check to do your resume. Please use it. Someone doing that resume can push your resume forward.

[00:56:28]>> Yeah, >> I mean it with all as much as I tell people take up space and all that. This is these are part of the ways in which you're going to get into the space that you need to take up. Volunteer a lot.

[00:56:43]Use free resources.

[00:56:46]And most importantly, if you haven't grieved that journey, please grieve.

[00:56:53]grieve the journey that brought you here, the people you left behind. It's a lot for me. Um, in closing, I come from a very close family and then being here has robbed me of experiencing a lot of milestones in person.

[00:57:12]>> Yeah.

[00:57:12]>> Yes. I experience it virtually. They send me but it's not the same thing.

[00:57:17]>> And so I have grieved that a lot of things will happen and I will not be there. It doesn't make me a bad person.

[00:57:24]It doesn't make me a But it is what it is. There are times where things happen and I feel, "Oh, let me go home." And then when I look at the plane ticket, it's like $2,000 something dollars. And people back home are like, "You know what? That $2,000 something dollars is going to solve more problem than you coming. Send it."

[00:57:44]So I have grieved that journey that a lot of things would happen in my absence with my loved ones but I'm also going to build new you know memories with the loved ones that I get here.

[00:57:58]>> Yeah.

[00:57:59]>> So you need to do that but please use free resources. I go to places and I don't see any black I hardly see black um girls black women there. And these things are free. If you have a library in your city, please get a library card.

[00:58:17]Your library card is not just for um borrowing books, your library card is access to a lot of stuff.

[00:58:26]If you are ever stranded, your library card will help you. The library also sometimes serves as a shelter for homeless people before a first responder will come if you're fleeing abuse. that.

[00:58:41]>> Yeah.

[00:58:42]>> Yeah. If you're fleeing abuse, go to the library, talk to the librarian. They would keep you safe and get a first responder, police or someone to come.

[00:58:54]>> These are the ways where you these are the you know the examples of the ways where you can take up space and try other stuff. We we want people to try our stuff. If we want people to wear our ankara and our clothes and all that, try stuff. Don't go to Mexico and start looking for jellof rice. Eat people's food. That's how you integrate.

[00:59:19]>> I feel dragged, but it's fine.

[00:59:26]>> There was a drag.

[00:59:28]>> It was not intentional, but yeah, take the message. Don't shoot the messenger.

[00:59:33]>> Of course. Of course. Thank you so much.

[00:59:35]Blessings. Thank you for having me.

[00:59:38]>> Hey, baby.

[00:59:39]>> Say hello.

[00:59:40]>> An appearance.

[00:59:42]>> Yeah, she said hi.

[00:59:45]>> Say hi.

[00:59:47]>> Yeah, you as well.

[00:59:52]>> Thank you for chiming into the conversation. So, blessings the second.

[00:59:58]It's been so >> I will be back.

[01:00:00]>> I'll be looking forward to it.

[01:00:01]>> You Thank you. Thank you so much. And thank you everyone joining. Thank you everyone.

[01:00:06]>> You on the next one. Bye.