I've Had It With I've Had It!

[00:00:00]I've had it with I've had it. I just unfollowed the I've had it podcast recently, which is a podcast that I have enjoyed for so long. I watch it so often that Jenn and Pumps actually feel like they're my personal friends. And I'm almost feeling like a void, not having their episodes as part of my day. And it wasn't because I disagree with their politics or what they want to happen in the world. It's because I realized that I was using their content to feed the same part of my brain that MAGA and the Mormon church and my whole alt-right life used to do.

[00:00:38]I'm Jenny Gage and this is life take two. Yes, I know that there's a rat in the background. His name is Fernas Maximus. So about a month ago, I had a real life crisis where I was just under so much stress and anxiety. And I guess the overall feeling that I had was that nothing was right in the world. Every single day, I just felt this physical and neurological sense of angst. And I realized that because I create so much political content here on my platform, and because I had to know what Donald Trump and MAGA was doing every single day, I was watching Fox News every day for 6 months. I have another video on that where I talk about how that that pushed me over the edge. After posting that video, I took a 14-day hard sbatical. My family and I went on a road trip where we did end up right inside of the summer camp for billionaires. As part of this time away, I didn't watch any news. I didn't listen to any podcasts. I had mostly entertaining books with a couple of exceptions. And I think that whenever you get time away like that, you start to have perspective that you don't when you're in the hot middle of things, right? So now I'm back home. I get back into my regular routine. A big part of my regular routine is watching the I've had it podcast every single day and I unsubscribed on day one. Their homeschool episode made me realize that I am utterly exhausted by a style of content that's built entirely on outrage. And now I'm not saying everyone should calm down and stop talking about things. We're going to be just fine.

[00:02:05]That's not what I'm saying at all.

[00:02:07]Everyone should be freaked out about the state of our country. Here's what I am saying. I grew up in outrage. I lived in a community where everybody but us was always the enemy and we could say or do about other people whatever we wanted to because we were fully justified. I left Mormonism MAGA a monster of an ex-husband who is a cult of one. I know exactly how emotionally satisfying it is to hate the other. And I'm sick of it and I think we should all stop being [ __ ] Remember when President Trump was on that plane and he addressed that journalist and called her piggy? And we on the left were also outraged by that.

[00:02:42]Like, oh my god, how dare he call somebody piggy? Well, if we all have such a problem with what Donald Trump is doing, then why are we supporting and doing the same exact thing? In this recent episode of the I've had a podcast, Jenna's just talking about a doctor's appointment and there's like 14 chairs in the waiting room and another woman comes in and checks in and sits down right next to her. So, I understand if you're in a doctor's office. Yeah. I don't want people next to me. I always try to sit as far away from everybody that I can cuz I don't know what viruses they're going to pass on to me should they happen to sneeze in my direction.

[00:03:14]So, I understand that. But then her and Pimps ruthlessly publicly berate and demean this woman. Let me play just a little bit of a clip. And this is so hard for me to hear that I thought about not even playing it, but I think it's important.

[00:03:30]>> So, it wasn't like she decided, "Oh, she's interesting. I'm going to talk to her." this.

[00:03:33]>> No, she's just a [ __ ] freak sabotager >> freak >> who just thought I think I'm gonna [ __ ] with this lady today. Which part of me I'm kind of like, >> you know, like I'm at the stage where I'm just like in the fascist takeover where not that much stuff surprises me, but this really like it really surprised me. I just couldn't believe she sat down right next to me.

[00:03:57]>> No, I cannot believe that. How is Donald Trump calling somebody piggy any worse than what Jen just said about just a random woman in a medical office? And all I could think when I was listening to this bit of their podcast was, I don't know that that woman doesn't have dementia. Maybe that woman didn't have her glasses on and literally didn't see that there were extra chairs there. And to me, as a content creator, I'm always very sensitive about the way that my videos are going to land on other people. I can't help but think, what if this human being who just happened to be at a doctor's office next to Jen, hears this episode and here's them talking about her like that? What's that going to do to her mental health? I'll tell you, I listen to backto-back episodes of Glenn Beck, who I absolutely despise, with a little bit of Charlie Kirk and Tyler Bowman for a video that I'm putting together. and they were actually nicer and a little bit more respectful of other people than that episode of the I've had it podcast. So, I just unfollowed the podcast and it feels very unfeminist of me not to be supporting two of the biggest voices in this space.

[00:05:05]But I'm personally looking for a version of feminism that isn't just about hating the right people and being really funny about the way that we hate them, but about building a better world, building a life of substance outside of patriarchal control where I'm not just pissed all the time. And this is where my internal conflict comes in because as a feminist, it feels like we need to join together with everybody else who's out there fighting for our cause.

[00:05:29]According to YouTube's data, a huge majority of my audience also follows the I've had it podcast. Of course you do, because on paper it looks like I should absolutely love Jennen Pumps. We're feminists. We're Democrats. We hate Donald Trump and Don Jr. and Pete Hegath. And we're not super sad to see Lindsey Graham pass away. We all believe women should have control of their own bodies. We are all alarmed by the rise of Christian nationalism. We have so much in common. But I have had it with the dehumanization.

[00:05:59]And as a woman who was taught that one of my greatest values was compliance, I refused to let a podcast, even one that shares my politics and other general ideology, to own my emotional state and to leave me every single day in such a state of just anger. Real liberation isn't just about having the right opinions, having the right politics, wanting the right things for everybody.

[00:06:24]It's about having a mind that belongs to me and ruthlessly protecting my inner peace. And like I say, the recent tirade against homeschooling was the straw that broke the camel's back for me during the segment, which I'm not going to play for you because I think that it's offensive to people who homeschool. Homeschooling was called trickle down stupidity, MAGA on steroids, part of a fundamental crazy Christian problem, and even child abuse.

[00:06:50]When they called homeschooling parents in that episode stupid religious freaks, they weren't attacking any policy. They were attacking other women and children, many of whom are just trying to protect their kids the best that they can in a broken system. It's easy to dismiss this as just one bad episode. But as I really looked closer, I realized the homeschooling rant wasn't an outlier.

[00:07:13]It's the formula. And it's the same formula used by Fox News and Charlie Kirk and Glenn Beck and everybody else, which is the same formula that I personally have spent almost a decade now trying to escape. So, I just found myself asking, what the hell am I doing listening to this? Now, I understand some of the criticism around homeschooling. And full disclosure, I am not in support of homeschooling the way that we have it today. I do think that there needs to be some more regulations, some more oversight, etc. I homeschooled my kids for about 1 month in the middle of a move. And it was actually stunning to me that there were no requirements of like testing or even like reporting how much time we were spending of anything.

[00:07:53]So in that one month, in that one month during a family relocation when I saw behind the curtain of homeschooling, I was a little bit stunned thinking, wow, it would be really easy for kids to fall through the cracks. So full disclosure, that's my bias. I personally do think that we do need an overhaul. And I realize because I come from this community that there are absolutely fundamentalist Christian parents who homeschool their children specifically to control the information that they receive. There are children right now being taught creationism instead of science. and people using the isolation of homeschooling to prevent their children from encountering people of different religions, Mexicans, different political ideas, lesbians.

[00:08:34]Some of my old friends inside MAGA definitely homeschooled their kids for nefarious purposes. And yes, we should be talking about educational neglect and the lack of oversight in many states.

[00:08:44]And we should be protecting children from abuse and making sure that every child has a real education. But that wasn't what this podcast episode was at all. It wasn't a serious discussion about policy, children's rights, or educational standards. It was a middle school rant about how homeschooling parents are stupid, selfish religious freaks who apparently cannot tolerate being away from their children. And I'm personally done pretending that dehumanization becomes holy and enlightened when other feminists and other Democrats do it. I feel this pressure a lot here on my channel. My audience wants me to be angry, to be fuming, and like one step away from committing violence at all time. I post a photo from my vacation of me next to uh the founder of JetBlue and enraged maniacs email me and rip me apart on Reddit for being a psycho. And that is psychotic. The conservative manosphere, the patriarchy, all these guys over at Fox News, they are these enraged idiots.

[00:09:44]So, we want Jenny to be like that, too.

[00:09:46]Why? Why? Why do I have to lean into the same horrible tactics that the patriarchy uses? As for homeschoolers, homeschoolers are not all one type of person. Some are Christian fundamentalists, some are atheists. Some homeschool because their children are autistic, are medically vulnerable, are bullied, or in other ways unable to function in a traditional classroom. But you can strongly support public education, and I do without bullying millions of homeschooling parents and their children. For the six months that I watched Fox News every day so that I could bring content to you guys about MAGA and Pete Hegath and Christian nationalism and all that stuff that I come from, I really keyed in on what their formula is. There's a specific recipe. There's always somebody you're supposed to hate. Always. immigrants, trans people, feminists, commies. That's a word that they use a lot over there on Fox News. Some new enemy was destroying America every single day. You turned on the TV, received your villain assignment for the day, and spent the next few hours feeling pissed off, really terrified, and morally superior. Then you came back the next day to find out who you were supposed to hate next. And lately, when I watch other feminist and progressive content like the I've had it podcast, I leave feeling the exact same way. Not because their facts or values are identical to Fox, but because they are using the exact same recipe. And here's the thing that I couldn't ignore.

[00:11:12]I was leaving their podcast with the exact same emotional state as I was watching Fox News. tense, agitated, disgusted, looking for an enemy, certain that everybody on the other side was either evil or just terminally stupid.

[00:11:27]And I don't want to live like that anymore. I left MAGA. I left Mormonism so that I could have peace in my life. I left these systems that trained me to divide all of humanity into two groups, the righteous and the wicked. I didn't go through all that to join another community that hands me a new list of people that I'm supposed to hate, including people who just sit too close to me in a doctor's office waiting room.

[00:11:50]I'm going to save my hate for people who are actual abusers or psychopaths and are actually harming other people. And even then, the purpose should be stopping the harm and not just building my entire identity around being hateful and angry because I know now exactly how scapegoating works. And I know even more after reading Daniela's book, The Culting of America. She is going to be on my podcast next week. If you have any questions for her, drop those in the comments. Here's another clip from the podcast where they read a comment from a woman who's another frequent listener and listen to why she's listening to the podcast. comment is from Aaron and she says, "I need three-hour long episodes of just Jenn and Pumps making fun of Republicans so that I can get through my workday. Love laughing to these ladies as I disassociate from the craziness that is our current state of affairs."

[00:12:41]Daniela and I are both cult babies, so we understand scapegoating. This woman is listening to the podcast so that she can scapegoat because there's problems going on in the world and she listens to I've had it and she realizes, oh, all of these bad guys are causing these problems. So just being in that space of anger makes her feel somehow just a little bit better so she can get through her day. Take it from a cult baby.

[00:13:02]Scapegoating feels like action. It feels productive to identify the bad people.

[00:13:07]It feels really courageous to mock them and call them names to talk about how little their weenies are. It feels revolutionary to sit in front of a screen and listen to someone say every vicious thing that you've been thinking.

[00:13:18]You leave an angry comment and call somebody stupid while your heart pounds in your chest and your side applauds because you're so ballsy. For a few minutes, you feel powerful. But what actually changed? Did a child receive a better education because of this podcast episode? Did a woman get affordable health care? Did a family get housing?

[00:13:38]Did Congress pass anything? Did we build an organization, register voters, attend a schoolboard meeting, help someone understand an issue, change a law? Or did we simply help another media personality make money by keeping us pissed off? Because outrage is extremely profitable. And if I was more of an [ __ ] on my channel, I would make a lot more money. my mean videos, especially if I'm calling somebody who's like an accepted villain, mean names and a really snarky tone of voice, they always get the most views and they always make the most money. The nicer I am, the less people tune in. But let me tell you, it does not matter whether the person monetizing hate is wearing a red hat or holding a rainbow coffee mug. The formula is the same. The business model is the same. Keep people angry and afraid. Keep them watching. keep giving them enemies and calling the enemies mean creative names that people will remember and never let the problem be solved because a solved problem doesn't generate tomorrow's content. And again, I know that some of you are going to hear this and you're going to be typing in my comment section, Jenny, we should all be pissed. We should all be angry. I get it and I am pissed off. My list of things that I'm pissed off about here is so long that I can't even read this all.

[00:14:53]I'm furious about abortion being illegalized, Trump bulldozing the White House for his stupid [ __ ] ballroom, everything that we're doing over in Iran. I'm furious about Christian nationalists trying to force their religion into our government and public schools. I'm furious about immigrants being dehumanized, LGBTQ people being targeted, and obscenely wealthy people purchasing political influence that they do not deserve. I'm not asking anyone to stop caring. I'm asking us to stop confusing emotional intensity with moral courage. And I don't even want the I've had a podcast to stop existing. I think that they are a valuable voice. I just wish that they would maybe step away completely from that emotional intensity and lean into that moral integrity. I see this dynamic in my own comment sections every single day. I receive thousands of comments from people who are pissed off that I'm not angry enough. It's not enough for me to explain something. I have to scream it with lots of cuss words. It isn't enough for me to oppose someone's politics. My audience wants me to make sure everyone knows how much I hate that person who is behind that policy. Like, people think I was supposed to tell the CEO of Disney to [ __ ] off to his face when I met him last week up in Sun Valley. Why would I do that? It isn't enough for me to just say someone is wrong. My audience wants me to humiliate them, to destroy them, and to pee on their graves. I guess prove that I despise them with the appropriate level of intensity. People in my comments aren't asking, "Is what Jenny said accurate?" They're asking, "Did she match my rage?" And I refuse to build my life around matching anybody's rage. I left MAGA, Mormonism, Jake, all the cults that I was born into because I was sick and tired of being kept in a constant state of artificial anger.

[00:16:41]Anger helped me recognize that something was wrong. But anger did not help me rebuild my life. You know what did?

[00:16:47]First of all, some kind, loving people on the other side who led me out of MAGA and Mormonism. And then curiosity, education, listening, admitting I was part of the problem, too. Meeting people I had once been taught to fear. Learning to see other people as complicated, messy human beings who were a lot like me. That's the hard part. It's easy to say, "I hate these people. They suck."

[00:17:11]It is much harder to learn how your local government works and get out there and do something about it. It's easy to march in a no king's protest, go home, upload pictures, and feel like democracy has been saved. Marches and public solidarity matter. But a protest cannot be the end of our participation. Nor can listening to podcasts or making podcasts of our own. The hard and very boring work that actually matters happens afterward. And I know what you're thinking. Before you even write this comment, Jenny, that sounds really boring compared to a viral rant. And you're right, our brains are so addicted to dopamine that when we talk about things like actually fixing the problems, we zone out. But feminism wasn't built on viral rants. It was built on women in living rooms, organizing child care, funding health care, and showing up at local board meetings. And I'm afraid that all of us, including me, have traded that powerful work for the quick hit of a mean comment on a rage batty video. And we're losing our power because of that. Here's what we should be doing. Instead of just feeding our daily rage addictions, we should be organizing, calling representatives, supporting candidates in primaries. Even if you just donate a few dollars to a good local politician, we should be sitting down with a personal financial planner. Our personal finances are very important in the world. Showing up at city council in board meetings, protecting vulnerable neighbors, especially kids and single moms. I do everything that I can to support moms around me. And we should be building coalitions with imperfect people. Most of the real work happens off camera when nobody is applauding and there is no viral clip at the end and no YouTube paycheck. I just think that we can treat all people with basic dignity. And that doesn't mean tolerating abuse or pretending that every opinion is equally valid. It doesn't mean inviting fascists to coffee and hoping that a nice latte changes their minds. It means refusing to let hatred turn us into the type of people that we claim to oppose. And we saw this in real life with Michelle Obama's speech at the dedication of the Obama Presidential Library. I'll link that in the comments. What she said changed me. Michelle Obama has always been a when they go low, we go high type of woman. We can't stay stuck in victim mode 24 hours a day. At some point, we have to put on our big girl panties and get out there and actually change something. This is something that I've been thinking about a lot lately. Anger is fuel, but it is not a vehicle. Anger can alert us to injustice. It can push us out of dangerous systems. Anger can give us the courage to say enough. But if we never turn that anger into disciplined action, we are just standing in our driveway lighting gasoline on fire. I don't need another podcast to tell me who to hate today just so that I can walk into Trader Joe's feeling pissed off at the world. And I don't think that you do either. And I don't need feminism packaged as a permanent middle school cafeteria fight. I want serious conversations about how we actually improve public education while respecting the complicated realities of families. I want to know how we protect homeschooled children without dehumanizing them or their parents. I want solutions, organizing. I want courage that lasts longer than a comment section. So, yes, I've unfollowed the I've had it podcast, not because I like the Republicans or Maggot or Donald Trump, but because I worked really hard to escape one culture of rage, anger, scapegoating, and fear. And I will not voluntarily move into a new one just because the new people supposedly have the correct enemies. Let me tell you some things that I've had it with. I've had it with outrage pretending to be activism. I've had it with cruelty pretending to be comedy. I've had it with scapegoating for profit. And I've had it with all of us staying permanently pissed off while the people in power continue to do exactly what they want to do. Be angry, but then learn something, build something, protect someone, organize something, change something, run for office, do something. Because anger may get our attention, but only doing something does something. My granddad used to say, "The only way to do it is to do it." Jenny, you can't just sit in bed thinking about that new cheerleading routine that you got to do. The only way to do it is to do it. Get out of bed and get on it.

[00:21:32]Anyway, love you, Jennen Pumps. But I also love my inner peace and I love other humans and value all human life.

[00:21:39]So, I just I can't be tuning in anymore.

[00:21:41]I don't know. Maybe it's time for a redirect and a reboot. It's not my podcast. Do what you want, but I'll be over here just peacefully enjoying my life. Anyway, thanks for watching everyone. I'll hear your thoughts in the comments. Why?