The real cost of dying without a Will in South Africa with Zola Mbatha

Added: 2026-05-25

[00:00:00]Hello and welcome to the financial bunny TV. My name is Nicollet Mashile. I am also known as your financial bunny. Now every good financial planner knows that their scope ends at some point. And here comes a fidiciary specialist who now needs to step in. And today I want to take you across that line properly. Not the generic version of get a will.

[00:00:21]Everybody must get a will. Absolutely important. But there's a little bit more behind the get a will advice. Right.

[00:00:29]This is where your retirement annuity doesn't follow your will. Where the trust that you set up in 2015 sits under rules that only came in last year. Where your crypto wallet can die if no one can find your seed phrase. Where a customary marriage, a second marriage, and children from different chapters of your life all end up in one estate. And somebody must somehow find a way to tangle it. Now my guest is one of those few people in the country who speaks fluently in every one of those rooms at once. Zolata is an admitted attorney of the high court, a fidiciary specialist and a compliance specialist. Also the founder of legacy Yazibaya. She's administered ultra high netw worth estates. holds a GN5 license from the producial authority but also runs a compliance vintex across three jurisdictions and runs community legal clinics in Pimville so guys we have a giant in the room and I'm really excited because I think the conversation she speaks about is that of the Davids you know when we talk about David and Goliath we all knew Goliath was most the giant the big guy and David was a small guy but ultimately what Zora as is a service to the community. Zola, welcome to this show.

[00:01:48]>> Amazing. Thank you so much for welcoming me so well.

[00:01:51]>> Are you feeling well?

[00:01:52]>> I'm feeling fantastic. It's lovely to be here with you.

[00:01:54]>> I must tell you this morning I was listening to you speaking to the the gentleman from Newsroom Africa and you guys were discussing. Yeah, that that case or um I don't know if it's a ruling.

[00:02:04]>> The maintenance one.

[00:02:04]>> The maintenance one. Yes. In the Western Cape.

[00:02:08]>> Oh, so not the stepfather one.

[00:02:10]>> Yeah, there's a stepfather one. The young man who >> Yes. The young man one. I love that [laughter] you put it like that. The young man who had a kid outside of his marriage. Absolutely.

[00:02:18]>> And then wanted his wife to maintain that kid.

[00:02:20]>> I could not believe it.

[00:02:21]>> I actually could not I could hear as as you were answering the questions, I could hear and and then you finally used the word the audacity. And I was [laughter] like, that's really what it is, right? The audacity to go and step out of your marriage and then come back with the one, you know, uh income stream that your wife has. That's the one you wanted to share. to to support her.

[00:02:44]>> Yeah. You don't even want to share it with her. You want it to go >> because that's how you used to support without the other person knowing.

[00:02:50]>> And you see that's the reasoning.

[00:02:52]>> That's the that's the reasoning Nick is that they he is saying in his mind because I had this relationship while I was married to you and I took your house that you are renting out for us in our marriage. Not our house, your house. And then I used that money to take care of this other woman and the child I made with her. you then shouldn't be having a problem with the fact that I want to carry on doing that. You know what I liked though in that entire conversation which was actually at the pinnacle of what happens is when you said to the presenter >> he must have heard advice your good if you are married in community of property >> that's it >> because it's a joint estate it then means that they can come and have a claim against the person who's working or deriving an income >> in your marriage >> and often that's what happens but we are not getting all of the information correctly.

[00:03:46]>> And I think I want to start off by asking how absolute is the law in how it interprets these kind of issues.

[00:03:52]>> Well, look, the law courts follow legislation.

[00:03:56]>> Um, they interpret it and then they execute it because you and I may have a different interpretation of the same line.

[00:04:03]>> We can read one line and and view it differently. Um, which is basically what happens as well with the with the Bible, I would say, if I can say it straight out. Yes. So yeah. So yeah. So it's just interpretation >> absolutely >> of words and how you interpreted them, how you interpret them and apply them.

[00:04:22]It can be very different from the next person. So now the courts will take the the act they will take your set of facts and they will do the interpretation for you because they are qualified to do so and they have been given the the the authority >> and jurisdiction to interpret the act for you. Then they will give you a decision and they will quote that act.

[00:04:42]such as we heard in the in the recent um judgment in the magistrate's courts in the eastern cave in the previous male case the magistrate quoted the legislation this is why I'm making the decision and these are the reasons and these are the decisions so that's what the court does now the act that the court is interpreting here is basically the maintenance act and the maintenance act gives out three quick simple requirements >> these people have to have a relationship >> okay >> and by these people we mean the person who's claiming and the person that they are claiming against >> they have to have otherwise I can come and claim against you looking like you're doing better than me sis so I'm going to come here >> skeleton [laughter] >> yes >> and that's exactly why court is there because court is going to look at those skeletons and say actually you're receiving 100%. Yes.

[00:05:32]>> So that's the second element. It's the means.

[00:05:35]>> Okay.

[00:05:35]>> Right. Um no, that's the third one. The second one is need.

[00:05:39]>> Yes.

[00:05:40]>> If I claim maintenance from you, >> there must be a need.

[00:05:43]>> I must need it.

[00:05:44]>> It can't be because you're driving a Porsche and I'm driving a Ferrari. I think we, you know, I also want to drive a Porsche. There must be a need for you to be maintained as you claim it. Then the last requirement is for the person you're claiming from and they must have means >> Yes. to be able to commit to the needs and they maintain the need.

[00:06:04]>> Precisely. Now, from a standard perspective, the relationships we're talking about in in requirement one is parent and child. In other words, a child can claim maintenance from a parent.

[00:06:13]>> Yes.

[00:06:14]>> And a parent can claim maintenance from a child.

[00:06:16]>> Yes.

[00:06:17]>> And then the extended family duty is the grandparents.

[00:06:20]>> Yes.

[00:06:21]>> Where because the grandparents are taking care of the parent >> basically spoiling her or him so that they're not going out there to go do their own hunting. Therefore, the child is saying, "Okay, well, since you're taking care of my parents, please make sure you pass on and take care of me as well." Then the extra extended would then be that marriage income into a property as a result of this joint estate, right? And and now the partner that has a child is no longer employed and the one that they're going to be claiming from as a result is the one that is still employed. But there's still these three requirements. there has to be some form of relationship and that's why the the court didn't grant it in the case that you didn't even know that he's stepping out and making a family outside. She thought we are we are we are just married. We are building together. And then the means remember and again this is why it wasn't granted in this case because right now the current income in this estate is only 7,5. So it's not they don't have means.

[00:07:20]Yeah. Yes. The child does need maintenance. Yes. But in its current format it's impossible for the judge for the judge or the presiding officer to grant that. Yeah. Yeah. But what I think stood out for me, and I keep saying this, but Hugo and I, we are brother and sister, he'll understand, is when he said, "But should she not have expected that she would have to bring something to the table based on her age?" I heard that age conversation. I got a bit lost.

[00:07:50]But I [laughter] like your response though because you you you made it you brought it back to real life that are we in the times and ages >> where >> two people must have some sort of backdoor knowledge or if I'm coming into a relationship because I'm older I must bring something to the table and the other person because what is so what is the equator it is the fact that he has a young age >> but what is the benefit of this young age he brings >> nothing Nothing. Is it nothing?

[00:08:20]>> It doesn't bring energy.

[00:08:25][laughter] >> Can we equate Can you equate his energy to REAL TANGIBLE house and rental income quantifiable?

[00:08:35]I mean right now even in the articles it's specifically stating should everyone should all those rooms be filled it'll make about in excess of 20k. We can quantify what she's bringing. And then how do we quantify his age criteria >> and [laughter] and then great personality and some >> loves boy comp.

[00:09:00]Absolutely. We're just saying in this instance his comment really caught me off guard even though it was like it's a bit >> but it shows us though that's how >> that's how >> and it's I know it's a conversation for another day because there's actually a real conversation to be had about that about you know my partner and I were having a conversation a couple of days ago about >> he was talking about the pressure men feel and and why it's difficult for men to discuss money and because the patriarchal system has always had an expectation and my argument to him was that I hear you but let's look at reality now. How many households are being run financially by women?

[00:09:42]>> Y and the pressure does not move away because she's a woman. There's still an expectation and it's even worse now because we're finding quite a lot of men really deciding that they no longer part of this family they've created single parent and all of that pressure transfers to you. There's actually you are the primary care giver. Um I I appreciate what your partner said when he said you see we don't discuss enough men the pressure that men are under >> particularly South African men particularly from a specific racial demographic ma'am um because of historical in you know um um systems but also because of current systems where we may not be racially disempowered but we definitely gender >> oh yes >> disempowering now because we take the little child to work, take the, you know, woman empowerment. We need an executive PE criteria. The higher the score, the if it's a woman, the higher the score. And so we now have this broad woman empowerment, which I obviously think is fantastic as a result of the historic >> I was about to say, which we have to find. Yeah. Which I think is fantastic as a result of the historical disempowerment of women and um also because of the current number of single uh mothers and women headed households.

[00:11:00]>> Absolutely. the current stats in South Africa saying the leading property owners, immovable property, it's women and that's a good thing because so many of them are primary caregivers of children.

[00:11:10]>> Can I throw Can I throw in my salt there cuz I I have a pinch of salt that gets thrown there that upsets me so much >> and this is this that thing actually came up in our conversation and I was saying >> what I appreciate it >> that it's women.

[00:11:23]>> Yeah.

[00:11:24]>> What type of homes though?

[00:11:25]>> Yeah.

[00:11:26]>> And and look at the at the at the basis of it. Yes, it's great that women are buying homes, but it is the onebedrooms.

[00:11:32]It is the bachelor apartments, you know.

[00:11:33]So, there's also that thing that I was like, and I think acument, Lena, it's always going to be like a a sore part for all of us because on one side you Yes. I was about to say it's not women having pressure, whether it's men, no one wins.

[00:11:49]>> We're not winning cuz we're not together.

[00:11:51]>> Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah.

[00:11:53]>> Let's not digress.

[00:11:55]>> Let's go back >> that that that case. There's a question I wanted to ask about it.

[00:11:59]>> Um, outside of its of its merit and facts, >> there's also a conversation that's been going around.

[00:12:05]>> You can claim from your siblings.

[00:12:08]Let's talk about >> in the maintenance now as well that extended uh responsibility.

[00:12:14]>> You see, you see the whole sibling thing was a a an announcement that was made at an event that was hosted by the NPA, >> the National Prosecuting Authority.

[00:12:22][clears throat] And I keep again saying this, I'm also just I haven't really figured out how a maintenance private law issue was being discussed by a public law institution in that way. Um, and I also take the general notes around people cuz I've I've been on a lot of interviews on on this and I take like the comments from listeners and people calling in that, you know, they have the feeling almost as if government is really trying to push away the responsibility of creating employment and revenue within and just like you know feed each other by force because we have not been able to help you get employed at this point. And now and and that's not even the issue because obviously we love each other as family.

[00:13:06]We don't care about feeding each other.

[00:13:08]The problem is that the forceful element of it has has the results of breaking our families now >> cuz now you have a court order against us and you're my sister.

[00:13:16]>> Yeah. For us it's a natural it's [clears throat] not even black. It's a thing. We live by it. In fact we believe we we we subscribe more to it the more blessings we get. So we okay we're taking care of each other. But the court order element of it is definitely going to break the family structure. And that's the concern with the stepfather in the Western Cape as well. It's like, oh, you know, with so many single mothers, men are not going to be marrying them. And and and I always think, but all these men who are commenting, if you look at the social media comments, >> most of them have made women mothers >> and yet they're busy going on, we've been telling you guys, don't marry a single mother. But brah, you have left a single mother at home.

[00:13:59]So it's almost as if you're like when you're leaving a woman with your child, you're doing it intentionally because you're saying and now you're pissed because men are marrying women that have your children.

[00:14:09]So has got nothing to do really with woman. It's got everything to do with what you're feeling inside and you just want something you can punch.

[00:14:16]>> They want to humble us that punching is that the effect is felt by the child >> more than the woman.

[00:14:23]>> Yeah. And that's very >> if only men would really understand that cuz now they have in the fights whatever men that are fighting with women it's not all of them whoever they are angry at women taking out the anger on women actually as it turns out you're not even punishing that woman cuz and I she doesn't even have the ramifications hitting your child.

[00:14:41]>> Okay [laughter] let's be this one >> again. Let's be this one. But I but I like the the way you've explained it because I think it's important that we don't take parts of the law and recreate an entire regime for the country based on our you know personal opinions and understanding of the law. The law is the law as you said and you know the court will always >> set on stone. Yeah. It >> absolutely.

[00:15:05]So like for people who have only experienced you from social media clips talking about wills perhaps >> what is the part of your work that doesn't make it to the video?

[00:15:16]>> Sure. The part of my work that doesn't make it to the videos are the actual consultations.

[00:15:21]>> Yeah.

[00:15:22]>> And Nick, I'll tell you this now. I mean I love it calling you Nick. I hope you're okay.

[00:15:27]>> Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. [laughter] Yes.

[00:15:30]>> Yeah. Um >> sounds like we've known each other for years. I love it. Yeah. [laughter] And uh those people cry. We as a nation and especially the people that are coming through for these cons here are the consultation formats. It's a plain estate planning consultation say from a financial professional such as yourself then you say I've done that as as you said in the introduction once a financial service provider is done doing the financial planning they've done the liquidity calculation they can't then move to the future as a result of professionals then they move them on to me and so I belong to a circle of women it's called leanin woman um yes lean in women in financial planning circle of women in financial planning and so they are my family and friends and So we we work together in that way. So that's the cycle. So we have those clients they financially savvy they corporate people.

[00:16:21]It's okay. That's a professional consultation. What does your estate look like? What are the risks in your estate?

[00:16:27]And and people think risks are debts only. But risk is also rakad.

[00:16:31]>> Yes, risk is >> and rakadi also happens to be one of the highest risks because will kick your children out after you pass away. And then so we need to plan against that risk. So because we need people to understand what is it that's going to happen after they pass. And the general underlying principle there are the 10 steps of estate administration after you die.

[00:16:57]basically from the day after you pass away what's going to happen to your estate and what's going to happen to your children so that we can plan for it. Those are great. They're professional. They almost tick box.

[00:17:06]>> It is the ones where we have a family dispute and you have sisters who haven't spoken to each other for 15 years and now they feel comfortable to sit in front of me in my young or old age and you will hear things. Luckily, my mother, my mother trained me to be able to listen to people who aren't okay, hear what's not okay, and tell them what Yes.

[00:17:29]Yes. And so many and and and as much as it's painful to see those tears, it also drains me. I had I had to take some >> I was about to ask you.

[00:17:37]>> Yeah, I had to take some some I went to Durban for for an event once and I got so dizzy as I entered this camp and I felt I'm not okay. let me go blood pressure. And as I entered, I literally went on my knee.

[00:17:51]>> So I just did a quick prayer and Lord, I know it's just me stand up here. And I got up, I went into the back. She checked my BP.

[00:18:00]It was 160.

[00:18:02]>> That's ridiculous blood pressure. And then after that, I realized, oh, I'm consuming these people's energy inside of me. It's their reality.

[00:18:10]>> Yeah. I asked for a net from, you know, from a spiritual perspective. But the point is this once they have gone through that though the testimonies of I have now gone to wash dishes in my home that I hadn't entered.

[00:18:22]>> Yeah. for me that doesn't and then after they are okay then we do the will for go orulu whoever the elder or the one who is on the title did is and then we good we do the will and then if they have they can afford it we do a family trust and I just go home knowing that there's a family out there even if the elder passes away they won't start to fight again because I spend time with them and so it's so fulfilling it's not on camera at all but it's the biggest part of >> it's a real part I mean there's obviously the principles that many content creators will push out. Many people that find themselves in front of the camera will speak about get the will. You know what I mean? Get the will done. Let's not have families fighting.

[00:19:01]But you do the real work, the actual structuring of And we're still speaking about the more easier things here. We haven't even gone into the complicated ones, but let's talk about some of the wildest things that you've seen written in a will. I've hear people leave some of their things to their pets. Yeah, look [laughter] that that can be can be looked down at from a racial demographic.

[00:19:24]>> Yeah, >> true.

[00:19:25]>> Let's say the whites predominantly European if you want to be political about our terms. Um those that's where you'll find the pets inheriting a million for medical costs after you know the the they are gone um medical how expensive pet medical bills you know so you get it these people that love animals no matter what the race >> yeah they really love it's like it's like your children >> okay that's fine and then we have charity in the in the white demographic again we a lot of charity um inheriting.

[00:20:03]Yeah. And then there's even a whole process the charity um you know houses and businesses are even aware of the process. We aware that there's a copy of a will that was submitted to us. We aware that the person who's donating to us has passed away. We here's the process. Here are the documents. There's another way. Yeah. If you are the executive then um if you go into the ind so and then of course there are children successfully in the 14 years that I've been doing this I really have been in and this is a good thing it's not something to be upset about because we always trying to look for we always trying to source positivity while having negative emotions which is impossible so we need to be positive about someone else's success >> so that we can attain our own success we can't always be angry that other people are wealthier than us yes so in this instance I have not and into a a white estate where there's disputes or there's loss of money cuz they've taken each other to I'm not saying they aren't there.

[00:20:58]>> They are there. I mean I was being interviewed on the tulima partners estate but I'm saying in the 14 years when I was in the law firm in the banks yes and and and they've been successful transfers the children even knew beforehand this is what our father and our mother said will be in the world. In fact we were there when they drafted the wool. It's just open cuz it's so realistic. The one one of the two things you can be sure about in life is the fact that you're going to be born and you're going to die. So yeah. So why have such an exuberant baby shower celebrating a life but you failed to plan for your death. Yeah. So in the white families I >> planning for death is standard. So there you've got your charity cases there, you've got your pets and then you've got your children successful transfer of wealth.

[00:21:41]>> Then we've got into the Indian family.

[00:21:43]It's just um it's that as well family predominantly family not so much the pets not so much the charity but some religious institutions >> in within the Indian families religious institutions donations to those we know in the Jewish community they have their own trust where when you pass away you need to leave money then in the colored and black um demographic we have sort of the same obviously we interstate passing away without a wheel and then um when we do have wheels it's obviously to children. But then what we find what I find there is that most of those people are married in commal property whereas in the other racial demographics they >> again have not met any white family yeah standards you're talking about your own as the problem is not necessarily ease or difficulty it's the understanding and perception >> it's that your partner we're just going to use him as an example today >> he's very lucky again um your partner will say I leave my estate to Nick and then not knowing of maybe not you cuz you guys are married to each other say I leave my estate to my children thinking he has built predominantly for his children and then fails to consider the marriage in community the 50% but more important than anything in the failure to remember the marriage income property the house >> is always the issue cuz then we we are blended because of the single parent and the system our grandfather mothers having to leave our great mothers in the farms and go to the cities and then get more women there. So that's where our single motherhood scourge started in that behavior. And so we are blended. We are just stuck there.

[00:23:24]>> Yeah.

[00:23:24]>> If if we were to say how do we solve um problems in relation to their estates would say stop having children outside of marriage.

[00:23:31]>> That's a good start.

[00:23:32]>> That's one of one of the best starts.

[00:23:34]However, if you don't believe in marriage, it doesn't mean you can't have kids. That's a conversation for another day. Now in this h um space in this blended space your man will say I leave my estate to um the children. Meanwhile one of the children it's not really his is not yours it's his but say that child is a minor under 18.

[00:23:55]>> Okay and >> it means that child's mom now as a guardian in their representative capacity as guardian is coming into your house >> and he was married to you >> but your man is not aware. He just knows that I left.

[00:24:10]>> Nick is getting 50%.

[00:24:11]>> But emotionally I'm dealing with time.

[00:24:13]>> But now he has put your child on this title deed. And that's not happening a lot in many races. It's happening a lot in the black and colored races. Lendy, they give away estates in terms of percentage instead of itemizing the house. I want the house to go only to my wife because we bought it together and she is living there and her cosmetics and private things are there. But the change of my estate, I wanted to go to my children that are not of my wife so that their mother can use the money to buy them a house. But instead they go 50% to my wife, 50% to my kids. Then the side chicks come in now into your house is ENTITLED [laughter] because you are the thing you are really speaking about something that's a reality. I don't think >> I I I don't even think I've stopped to think about it like that, you know. Um I've got elderly parents.

[00:25:10]>> My dad is I had a conversation with him about you know what are you leaving for who?

[00:25:18]I don't want you understand >> but I [clears throat] never took into consideration >> that if he does choose to leave anything to his children >> it would be all his children.

[00:25:32]>> Yeah.

[00:25:32]>> But the other 50% ownership of this is my mom.

[00:25:36]>> Is your mom.

[00:25:36]>> So now my mom has a constant reminder now >> in ownership now of this property that has been her her house her whole life.

[00:25:45]>> Her underways got a draw. All of a sudden, as you said, but now because they are bringing torment to that woman, you will not enjoy this house anymore cuz my father has put me on the title deed.

[00:26:14]And that's why estate planning is so important. Those are the things I want to ask.

[00:26:18]>> You just gave me goosebumps. You've given me real goosebumps because I'm like I can't imagine how anyone any one of either side because I can understand why the kids are upset. I can understand why who sees his father or her or his or her mother or whatever living with another family having an entire life that looks like and I'm missing out. And then eventually puts me now as ownership. Now it's war.

[00:26:50]>> There's no peace that's coming.

[00:26:52]>> What must I do with the 19 years of anger? Yes.

[00:26:57]>> And I have not been able to take it out on my dad cuz he's been unavailable. So here is where I am, sis. Oh, you enjoyed my father. [laughter] I'm going to make sure you don't enjoy him not being here.

[00:27:10]I'm telling you. And our fathers need to be aware of this and they need and we nowhere in shape or form are saying they must disinherit their children. In fact, we are specifically saying they must inherit all their children. That's what we just said because we don't want that one now. Yeah. But we are saying strategicize your assets.

[00:27:31]>> Yes. be specific to say the house because I shared with my wife. Let my wife have the house >> cuz once it's in a will >> and you are gone nothing.

[00:27:41]>> You could also use strategies like you and bad dominions to be able to manage those kind of situations.

[00:27:47]>> But but we don't even do that if we are inter.

[00:27:49]>> Yeah. How how are we even getting us by the way is a user's right on a property. If you say I bequath this property to my children subject to my spouse or salah living there until they die or they marry someone else. Just want to uh clarify that so they don't say we're using Latin terms.

[00:28:10]>> Um >> there are also Abu Baba not so much about mama cuz remember we sourcing data from my 14 years of course and also the comments on my socials of course was saying the other day here on social media you are killing us. We can see these people [laughter] commenting left, rights and sides.

[00:28:28]>> Speaking from a reality shout out to my brother for saying you get what I'm saying? Yes. And and Abu Baba are intention from what I've seen will intentionally not do a will because they feel that their wives are so controlling. They will even want to control their right to testip. And I've been saying this to couples when I consult with them. I always insist please come with your partner now cuz I don't want to re up and down and now your partner doesn't agree with what we say now this is taking four four sessions when it can be one >> um you can't enforce your marriage on a right to test date [snorts] >> is one thing and it's great >> but Just like now the the opposite office we can't call it out.

[00:29:26]So we must always have open communication as opposed to this keeping quiet about it sweeping it under the rug cuz the result is that you one of you is going to make a decision to not do a will because sensitive but now once they are gone >> the consequence is generation. Didn't we say that to Den earlier? We said once you make a decision in relation to an estate, you are making it on behalf of everyone else generation that come after >> must inherit. In the last dual and testament, there's a clause um the inter clause. If I bequeath my car to you, but should that bequest fail because you have either died before me or you and I died together or you don't want it, >> then not the you don't want it just because you you no longer alive, you're unable to inherit then it the clause um per stripes then says then to your benefit. Yes. Now if you are angry at me as your mom >> Yeah. so much that you say to me I don't want your inheritance which is what you said you said to your dad and I don't want you to say that >> you are basic because the thing about and us as African is everything is spiritual money is spiritual estates are spiritual is spiritual you can't say to your father because what you're doing is you're saying the son you are going to give birth to doesn't have the blessing of the gift from your from your side >> of your They must now only have the blessing of wealth from their father. Just because when you told your father once you say no, you're not saying no on your behalf only. You're saying no to literally everyone that's born of you and those born going down in succession.

[00:31:12]So we need to be aware of that. It is deep this estate planning thing.

[00:31:17]>> It's deep. It's deeper than rep.

[00:31:19]>> Let's talk about the free will. Yeah, >> it's pedled that week in September. I mean that's a big week free wills and look >> free wills month and free will week to a certain extent shut out right the principle is correct. We need more people in the country writing up wills >> but there's a hidden truth and a hidden I don't want to say agenda because I don't think they did it because there was an agenda it just by design it became like that. talk to us about what is the cost of taking up that service that many consumers might not be able to see today. So what is important and I'm so happy you asked that question because it's such an important thing for people to understand.

[00:32:06]>> People know that they are alive. They have ID numbers and the decisions they make from when they are 18.

[00:32:12]>> Contracts you enter into the accounts you open the debts you enter. All those financial and legal decisions from when you are of legal age form part of your estate when you have died. M now sorry when you get to that death uh uh phase of your life your estate must be administered it must be wound up or wound down however you want to see it why because your estate doesn't pass away only your body passes away the reason your estate has to be wound up is because of the fact that your body passes away your estate doesn't now in the current estate administration environment it's an average of about 18 months you can do for less >> but it's about average 18 months. There are institutions that are taking longer unfortunately. So this is 18 months [clears throat] where your estate is basically in this estate administration prison and your kids don't have access to whatever money you are giving them and that's where of course the financial planning comes in cuz you have to have products that pay outside of the estate administration process. Absolutely. Then that those 18 months and those 10 steps I told you about earlier, they have a cost to them.

[00:33:25]>> The cost is 3.5%. It's called executive's fees. 3.5% plus VAT. So let's use a million rand estate as 6% of any other% of income derived during the estate administration process. Um so let's look at a 1 million rand estate.

[00:33:42]Let's use a house in Dobsonville. I love to use Messi Park as an example. We have a house in Messi Park that's valued at 1 million rand on the dot.

[00:33:50]>> The executive's fees for that is is going to be obviously 35,000 plus VAT.

[00:33:55]So let's say 42,000 rand.

[00:33:58]>> Then it's a house in this estate doesn't have cash.

[00:34:01]>> This house must be transferred to the heirs.

[00:34:04]>> The transfer cost on the house valued at a million is about 30,000. So we're looking already at 72,000 rand on this house.

[00:34:11]>> Then we have um the administrative cost the adverts. Yes. So the we have,000 rand there. So we're sitting at 75.

[00:34:21]Then you can't transfer a house without clearing the rates.

[00:34:25]>> So if you're owing municipality and the properties in the communities auction >> are owing an average 20 30k. So let's say 50k for for the sake of calculating.

[00:34:37]We studied law.

[00:34:37]>> Yeah. Then [laughter] then um so we're looking at almost 130,000 rand.

[00:34:46]>> Yeah.

[00:34:47]>> Only had the house. She's proud of the fact that she has a house and she has a title deed.

[00:34:53]>> She doesn't have this liquidity of this 120,000. And now here's where your question comes in. People are saying but why do a will because it's going to create these costs and the answer is it's not.

[00:35:03]>> The estate administration process is whether you have a will or not. The wheel merely serves to curb the risk of your family fighting over your estate cuz they don't agree with the interstate distribution.

[00:35:15]>> So it really doesn't add on any extra cost except for the cost of doing the will.

[00:35:20]>> Now and and it's very important that people understand that those costs are there whether you those costs are there whether you have a will or not.

[00:35:26]>> There needs to be an executive 5% plus those costs. Now the cost of the will.

[00:35:32]We have September free wills month from starting 1 September until 26th September >> where there's free education on wills.

[00:35:40]You go onto the internet you ask which lawyers and which institutions are doing will rules for free in my area and it'll kick out a whole list of lawyers. You call them you make an appointment within September so that you don't pay the average 500. The average will cost in the legal space is about 500 rand.

[00:35:58]>> Really?

[00:35:59]>> Yes. Wow guys, 500 that's not a huge amount >> for the drafting of your will. Yes, >> sure.

[00:36:05]>> And then they'll ask you questions. You have an informal uh consultation. Unless you want to do estate planning, then of course an estate planning fee, then we go into the will. Okay. Now, the banks are doing wills for free based on the fact that they are getting appointed as executives. It's substandard. That's the requirement. You appoint them as the executive. You can appoint a co-executive >> but they will be the executive. And then um whereas with the le the 500 rand will you choose who is your executive which we advise to always be a family member.

[00:36:36]They just obviously when it's time to do your estate will have to appoint a professional body cuz those 10 steps can only be done by Yeah. by and licensed.

[00:36:45]Yes.

[00:36:46]>> Cuz they still have to go if they a family they still have to go and get those professionals.

[00:36:49]>> Yeah. They Yeah. They will even if you have a will or not. But if you have a will and you chose your child your child will have to come to say maybe a law firm and say I'm instructing you.

[00:36:58]They've got the supervisory role >> 100% but they are the executive and when that is starting to look like 3 years cuz that can happen they can say thank you we withdrawing whereas where the bank is the executive you can't withdraw you have to ask for permission for them to resign >> and you can only get high court application unless they resign but they're resigning a lot okay so we we we we have a clarity >> yeah guys drawing up a wheel does not does not create the executive fee. The executive fee is it exists whether or not you have a will because an estate must be wound up >> must be wound up and those are legal fees.

[00:37:39]>> If if you go to the bank they they add themselves as the executive.

[00:37:44]>> Yes. Because of the will.

[00:37:45]>> If they allow you to add a co-executive they share that 3.5 cuz that's the max they can charge, right?

[00:37:50]>> Because the work is only done by the professional body. You are just the co-executive for supervision purposes like you said earlier to say you're taking forever.

[00:38:00]>> You are male administering.

[00:38:02]>> So holding them accountable to do what they say they're going to do because often we hear they do drag their feet.

[00:38:08]>> Well institutions estate administration is a lengthy process but institutions will take human intervention.

[00:38:17]>> Yeah. You have to push push push and that's what people need to understand about estates. Yes. We see the hello pizza complaints. We see the Google complaints. But at the end of the day, you need the essay to be finalized. And all you need to do is to know what needs to happen so you can push. If you're lacking knowledge, you're going to keep getting pushed rolled over. It's a pushing issue. Oh, so then if if if Nicolet gets hired as the executive and then because I don't have the expertise and the professional um licensing to do some of the things that need to be done, I would go out and see agent and then that agent takes the 3.5. Yes. So Nicola doesn't get anything.

[00:38:56]>> No. No. You only on as an executive for administrative purposes only. And when you go to the master of the high court to get that letter issued based on the will, if you were as Nicolet to walk into that master's office and say, "My father put me as an executive." They're going to say, "Go and get a lawyer first. Go get an agent. Come back with an agent." You it can be a bank. It can be a a trust company or it can be a law firm.

[00:39:19]>> But where does the fidiciary responsibility start or end for me?

[00:39:23]>> For you.

[00:39:24]>> Do I have a a fidiciary responsibility?

[00:39:26]>> None whatsoever. Fantastic. You have none. Fantastic. It's only on there. So you can take the wool and walk away >> when they find these process taking too long.

[00:39:36]>> I got you. There's no work to be done by a family member appointed executive.

[00:39:41]Unless you're appointing a family member who's already an accountant or a lawyer, then they can do the estate. They don't have to get an agent. The thing here that is required is the license at the master class to do the work >> to do the estate.

[00:39:52]>> Okay. So, so I think then it I like I like the way you approach the question because it it it allows a person to make a decision on their own and we're not going to prescribe to you and say add a cow, right? You know, add your family member as obviously if if it is the what is um um um advised is for you to add a family member because of the interest of wanting the will or the estate to be wound up. But at the end of the day, as you say, the professional work would still need to be done by somebody who's got >> and you must have in that 1 million rand estate. Now, that means that 140,000.

[00:40:27]>> Where is it going to come from?

[00:40:28]>> We have to sell the property off >> and you can't sell a home.

[00:40:31]>> And so many thousands of estates are stuck like that in the banks. Sometimes we rush to blame the banks, >> but really the banks are estates that are unadministerable.

[00:40:42]You can't administer an estate doesn't that doesn't have cash nor can you sell a primary residence. So you're stuck.

[00:40:48]Then what happens? They then walk away.

[00:40:50]They say no we'll renounce because we also have our books for 20 years. But what then is the issue there when they walk away? Seemingly looks like nothing cuz we get to keep the house. the problem now in the current environment in South Africa of criminality going on in our country and as much as South Africa is right now considered the highest human tra it's the hub of human trafficking >> that is such a painful thing to be called >> it is it is where rape we're rape center where GBV >> like GBV >> human trafficking good we are right in the middle of increasing property hijacking.

[00:41:33]What What is the criter criteria for a property to be hijacked? The fact that it's been owned by a deceased person for 15 years and we've been waiting for 15 years to save this 140,000. So don't have your property be a victim.

[00:41:44]>> So somebody comes, the criminal comes with the 140, settles that and transfer it to their name.

[00:41:51]>> No, the whole process I was about to say, >> no, they can't do that.

[00:41:54]>> Can't be we can't be that bad at the office, guys.

[00:41:57]>> No, no, it's not that. the it's it's it's got to do with well look how they get how they how yeah it gets hijacked I don't necessarily go into I don't even know the details to be honest with you I don't even want to know them Nichollet because we are again living in the country where if you know too much >> so but what I do know is that too many people have walked into the offices or the clinics where I've seen this is in the legal clinics in the communities cuz remember I run legal clinics around uh South Africa in the in the community halls. That's where the people are arriving with documents and saying how my house is gone. I've been I'm getting evicted, but here's the title deed. And then when I send to lawyers, please search who the owner of this house is.

[00:42:40]The house is gone. And I'm not laughing at the fact that the house is gone. I'm just laughing again at the audacity of stealing a whole home. We're not even stealing a car. [laughter] It's wrong, guys.

[00:43:02]It's there.

[00:43:03]>> And that's [clears throat] why you can't relax and think at least the bank gave me back the estate. You just going to sit because you are going to get eviction notices.

[00:43:15][laughter] >> Section 37 C of the Pension Funds Act upsets too many people. Z problems.

[00:43:22][laughter] It's The law is very clear. It says that the trustees have final say on how it is the pension benefits will be distributed death benefits and that matter. We know obviously this is guys relevant obviously for private pension um um um um funds and retirement annuities profit not municipal not GPF because we've seen many spouses the the the living spouse the surviving spouse being left with a shock of their life.

[00:43:56]>> Yeah. Why you excluding the government?

[00:44:00]because sometimes it gets confusing because like the 37 C is not relevant in that in in in that current form of the >> section 37 C is a section in an act called the pension fun yes >> so as long as the product is a pension >> section 37 C applies to it >> yeah but it's treated differently in GPA of course extra processing excellent because >> but it's not that employees must relax because No, it doesn't really relate with us.

[00:44:32]It's going to be on the need. And I'm like, it's it's the same interpretation.

[00:44:36]>> It's an it's a section. It's as long as it's a pension >> fund, it's regulated only. Remember, everything is regulated by law.

[00:44:45]>> Yes. Absolutely.

[00:44:45]>> Everything. Absolutely.

[00:44:46]>> Including us sitting here. There's a health.

[00:44:52]Exactly. everything [laughter] and therefore we can't just have a product just running willy-nilly just because we are emotionally attached to the product but it's fair to say they they have added extra processes. So now section 37 C basically says the distribution of a a death benefit while you were a pension fund holder. In other words, not after you've cash the pension and you are at retirement age that goes on to you would speak more to that your living annuities or just cashing it out entirely bought in. Yeah. So you bought the product with your pension and it's acrewing and it's regulated by the longterm insurance act.

[00:45:42]It's no longer section 37 C is simple. It's also like those requirements for the maintenance.

[00:45:53]It simply states when you pass away while you have a pension fund that pension fund will be distributed by trustees as a result of the discretion granted to those trustees because of this section and it states the following. These are the criteria for this discretion. Number one, it has to be dependency.

[00:46:14]>> The person who is claiming from the pension needs to have depended on you have been a dependent on your salary or of yours while you were alive.

[00:46:26]>> Is it directly though Zola?

[00:46:29]>> Directly how?

[00:46:30]>> So, so let's go to the case we discussed earlier in the in the morning. Um, and yeah, 46 and the 30-year-old husband. I guess they're not they're not divorced yet. Yeah, >> they are what? What do you guys >> They're still married. They are going through a divorce. I thought they were divorced.

[00:46:47]>> No, you guys were not saying divorced in the morning. You guys were saying not exanged. It's estranged.

[00:46:53]>> The English word [laughter] estanged aranged separated.

[00:46:57]>> That is which we we see a lot in South Africa where people just separate and don't fully divorce, right?

[00:47:02]>> Especially from customary marriages. So let's assume they didn't divorce fully.

[00:47:06]>> The child that is born from this man is not really a dependent of the wife >> for m because >> that's saying and then there's there's a section 37 dependence.

[00:47:20]>> So so maintenance is relationship and uh need >> in this dependency criteria it is dependency.

[00:47:30]>> Yes.

[00:47:31]>> Yes. They have the same thing results in that if I if I have a need if I have a relationship with you and then I have a need for you to maintain me in other words I need to go through school >> yes >> you are alive and you I'm asking you to pay for that school cuz you are my parent that's one thing in section 37 C and the dependency we are saying I was dependent on you while you are alive yes >> I was dependent on you while you are alive >> so so so we can say that child is dependent on her because the money that the child is being supported with.

[00:48:04]>> We're going to break down the dependency.

[00:48:05]>> Okay. Yes. Yeah. Cuz that's what I was asking break down the dependency.

[00:48:08]>> How direct is that dependency?

[00:48:10]>> But in this instance, we're talking about dependency. I was dependent on you. I had a legal dependency or a factual dependency financial. Yeah.

[00:48:19]While you're alive, then we move on from dependency. So, let's break down the dependence cuz we here. The dependency is two parts. It's factual and it's legal. Yeah.

[00:48:28]>> The [clears throat] legal is marriage.

[00:48:30]If we married, or a child. If I'm I'm a child or a parent, >> we have a legal relationship or I'm legally adopted. As you said, the factual is through proof of dependency.

[00:48:44]And that's the one that people have a problem with. People >> don't necessarily have a problem with the act. They have a problem with the interpretation of the factual dependency. And let me tell you why people have a problem with that. And by people, we mean predominantly, right?

[00:48:59]It's because operator under the principles of Ubuntan.

[00:49:05]We are what financial advisors call [laughter] a problem.

[00:49:19]And then we sending sending while we are sending weepend but we yet we lack the intention and that's why people have such a big problem because just helping I mean why you sound like my mom [laughter] my mom every day When my my nieces get something and it's like you've got a big heart.

[00:49:52]>> Yeah. Now interpretation of factual dependency can come with the slips.

[00:50:09]You want her to feel like my goodness.

[00:50:14]SLEEP.

[00:50:18][laughter] I'm not laughing at my because it makes sense in a certain way that you were willing to spend that on.

[00:50:36]Yeah. So now so there's two people why we understand is not necessarily the interpretation of factual dependency cuz that has to exist >> wrong is perhaps the discretion may be abused a bit from what I've been seeing and the amounts of lodgements of complaints against those decisions that discretion is getting a bit they are widening the payout.

[00:51:12]discretion.

[00:51:16]It was an act of kindness. It wasn't dependency.

[00:51:30]Yes. If it is the PSYCHAB [laughter] BECAUSE OUR RELATIONSHIP NO LONGER exists now you want you took him from our kids I don't owe you anything now but then what about the children is she also not owing the children and I heard who said that metro Um I think it was a naked DJ.

[00:52:02]>> Yeah.

[00:52:02]>> When he said on a call to this lady, "No, but I don't owe her." And I actually heard that is a bit man.

[00:52:13]It's very if you don't care about the woman, what about his children that he has to be spending time away from satisfy you?

[00:52:25]So in the same token when you claim this pension >> particularly the side girlfriends who are claiming for children that aren't biologically his but because he was paying school fees >> to get her. She's now claiming the scooies from his patient knowing he has a child the same age [laughter] >> indeed.

[00:52:58]>> Yeah. It's >> Yeah. It's not >> it's not fair.

[00:53:01]>> It's not it's not fair. Look, look. And and in as much as we can say stop the Ubuntu, it's not it's in our blood. It's who we are. It's >> we just need to ring fence and do estate planning. You just need to see someone like you. See me someone like me because listen [laughter] >> and he's spot on because and this is exactly where then the partnership between what you do and the financial planner comes in because the financial planner should say >> at at I mean we can't predict when you're going to die but at any point we should be able to calculate how much your death benefits are and how much your children would potentially get.

[00:53:36]Let's then replace that. Let's replace it with something that we can put into your will and then don't have to fight for the the death benefits. Yeah.

[00:53:45]Because it's just it feels feels like a humiliation ritual guys for the wife to be going through fighting for trustees to recognize her and her marriage and all of I mean sometimes marriages are so hard you've tried to keep that marriage alive.

[00:54:01]>> I mean it happens to as well you know woman will step out. I don't want people lose our message by people because they think you know you only spoke it from a woman's side. It's just that it's happening predominantly to women.

[00:54:17]>> But also the other thing CeCe is men though don't behave the same as women.

[00:54:22]And by men I mean side M they don't [laughter] my sisters are going to come after me about this but I'm a side have dignity [laughter] it's not dignity >> they have dignity let me tell you why I'm giving them the dignity name cuz you will not see them filling in forms claiming for that pension they are not doing with women empowerment.

[00:54:57][laughter] Let's be fair.

[00:55:00]No. And I heard it again. I heard some guy say it's not that women don't cheat.

[00:55:05]And I know we're regressing it, but we we just sang. We're having fun with this this part of the conversation. And he said it's not that women don't cheat.

[00:55:17]And it's also not because a woman are experts at cheating. It's because the side is not going to leave a hair comb in her car cuz it's not pity.

[00:55:28]>> Women are pity. And and and women are not even most women are not even cheating so much cuz they want the man. They are cheating so much cuz they want the woman to experience what they experienced, >> which is okay while he's alive cuz he's weak. But once he's died, you now also want to take his pension from his kids.

[00:55:47]>> I'm going to tell you guys that I am about to become a CFP and once that comes through, Zola and I are going to set up armor workshop throughout the country. We're going to deal with this Zola. I don't want to do it now and I'm still just a financial I wanted to be certified because >> I'm so proud of you. Well done. That's not a small journey.

[00:56:11]We must come into the leaning circle.

[00:56:13]No, but we definitely like because what you're talking about it it it we may laugh about it but there's a lot that is that it's involved in it and you know a small affair can turn into your children not receiving the those benefits and those benefits is quick you spoke do you get what I'm saying and you spoke about 18 months to wind up in a state that's some of the money that should be creating the liquidity outside you know the quicker that that death benefit gets distributed but Now it's gone.

[00:56:43]>> But now >> cuz of a relationship I wasn't aware of.

[00:56:45]>> Who are you?

[00:56:46]>> Now further to the requirements of section 37 C. The last part is we breaking down. We have determined that we have a dependence.

[00:56:53]>> Dependency. Yes.

[00:56:55]>> Why? Whether they are legal because of the relationships or they are factual because of the proof of dependency. We then go to the last criteria which is the distribution the actual amount.

[00:57:05]>> Yes.

[00:57:05]>> So remember dependency determines if you are benefiting or not. So we know now you are a legal dependent. I'm a factual dependent. I have the proof of the pension. Guess the further two criterias are this means and what's the other one?

[00:57:28]Um age. Yes.

[00:57:32]>> The means [clears throat] falls more on the spouse.

[00:57:36]>> Oh yes.

[00:57:36]>> Why that is? It's because you as as his wife um you you what is the word I'm looking for? When he married you, he had a higher criteria qualification for you.

[00:57:53]So, you're about to get certified.

[00:57:57]Therefore, you are good for marriage.

[00:58:00]when he came after he finished settling with you so that you don't leave easily [laughter] then he comes to me and then I don't have to be as successful as you just the fun on the side in fact but anyway I'm good >> when he has passed away now we we I'm obviously a factual dependent We don't have to worry about it.

[00:58:41]>> Source of income for the last time I had an income was way before he passed away.

[00:58:44]I was enjoying [laughter] this relationship and the funds from it.

[00:58:52]>> The bigger portion.

[00:58:53]>> The bigger portion than the wife. Okay.

[00:59:00]He's only starting to make me like mine are like 17 18 years old.

[00:59:14]If you look if you look at that maintenance case and I'm really sorry, but The child the CHILDREN ARE ALWAYS THE CHILDREN ARE ALWAYS SMALL IN PRIMARY school children are always small. So now what happens the child needs to go through primary and high school and >> their need is bigger chick when I did a video on section 37 I'm so glad you are telling them because when my husband died I had to resign me the last surviving parent and take a pension now we don't have an income so that I can send my child to it's because they just lost the dad. The last thing I want them to lose is the ability to go study.

[01:00:17]>> I actually he has no idea that >> he's resting in peace.

[01:00:23]>> In peace is resting in peace. [laughter] >> Is it a peaceful rest?

[01:00:30]>> You and I [laughter] can speak forever, but there's one part I still want us to get into before um this issue.

[01:00:36]>> Yeah. this issue of guardianship versus administration of assets. We spoke about you know the will assisting with the minor kids but in instances where there are minor kids and the surviving spouse is not really in any position to become a legal guardian of those children or is a legal guardian of those children but >> there is an a transfer of assets. Is there a difference between guardianship and then the management of the assets of minor children?

[01:01:07]>> Well, was it automatic that if you are the surviving uh parent, it will come to you?

[01:01:14]>> Um, as a parent, you are the natural guardian.

[01:01:17]>> Yes.

[01:01:18]>> Yeah. You are the natural and therefore legal guardian standards. Unless there's a court order, [clears throat] you know, revoking that from you or you signed away those rights.

[01:01:29]No baby dad and no baby mama. But as long as you are alive, we have a child together, you and I pass away, God forbid that you would, you are the natural guardian. However, if I don't have a good relationship with you and you are gambling, I don't like your financial decisions. I know you're going to take my child's inheritance that I've worked so hard for anyway. Yeah.

[01:01:52]>> Um I can put a legally binding guardianship clause in my will >> that says um my sister >> is going to be the guardian for the sake of these assets that come from mine.

[01:02:08]>> Yes.

[01:02:08]>> The legal guardian is the father but for the sake of my inheritance and my estates. This is the person who will be paying the lo the the money managing the money >> for for for the for the cosmetics and the monthly cost. But then you still have to determine what tool will your sister >> use, >> insert, you know, access this money because you don't want it to go to your sister's account cuz your sister has kids and I have a theory. I I call it the street wise um two [laughter] street wise two street must give us ambassadorship you spoiled them you then put liquidity products you put cash in your assets so that your child can carry on wise too after you gone.

[01:03:04]>> But then you've given the money to your sister and your sister has four kids different baby daddies. [laughter] Your child will never experience two-piece KFC again until they are an adult.

[01:03:31]>> So you want to create a tool that will allow your child to carry on experiencing two-piece >> and that's the trust.

[01:03:37]>> The testament the best form is the trust. Whether it's testament or living. Yeah. I love that.

[01:03:44]I like that. Exactly.

[01:03:46]>> So so in what instance does the money then go to the guardians fund? Now, if you don't have a will, you don't have a clause that says even if the legal the parent is alive, as long as you don't have a clause in your will that says my inheritance will be handled by this guardian, it will go to the government guardian fund and the father or the mother who's living go apply monthly to get that money. And if there's estates where your child or the child is taking care of is their money has been paid to the government guardian fund, please leave it there. and only get it when they're 18 because it's the only thing they'll ever have from their parent that they have.

[01:04:25]>> Oh, that is so true.

[01:04:31][laughter] >> As we are about to wrap up, is there anything that you perceive as the most problematic thing?

[01:04:42]>> I did a video last year went so viral and I think that's where media really started.

[01:04:46]>> Hey, cuz this year >> [laughter] >> and I appreciate it and I love it. Shout out to all the media houses and the producers that I have my numbers and >> I said please have a family meeting and go and talk each one of you as families cuz you are headed towards Christmas and all of us are taking leave this December.

[01:05:14]This house that we are busy buying at, who is on the title deed, >> who is it? And when they die, who is it going to go to? Cuz we are all investing in renovating it. So many people, >> that's another conversation. Yo, renovating family homes, buying furniture for family homes >> that you get kicked out of now. And so many people commented, we are going to fight. Next thing I'm seeing Tinolo Pi's Facebook page, sorry.

[01:05:44]All the people they stabbing each other.

[01:05:46]There's a brother in Libopo from what I understand who stabbed his brother.

[01:05:50]>> That's brother Shaun over Christmas period. So fights.

[01:05:55]>> If I can if I can sit down, travel to any platform and sit and say the one thing I want to say is stop fighting joke.

[01:06:15]And it's not by chance that we fighting.

[01:06:17]It's a system that was designed. We were colonized by people who designed systems to colonize the whole world.

[01:06:25]>> So we can't be excluded from the effects of that system and those thought processes. But we need to understand them so we can rise above them. Because if we think what we are doing now is normal, then we are we have given up. M number one children unplanned because the heat of the moment there's so many things that heat of any heat of the moment guys and no I always say to young men you are lucky if you are having unprotected sex and there's no baby that happens and I say that with all the respect I've got because men will say yeah but I can you there was no child no firstly We are two people who are having sexual sex and women can only have children in one week of the four weeks. There's only one week when we actually can biologically make a child. So there's no way guys you have a responsibility as a gent and as a woman to make sure that a baby does not happen if those circumstances. Yes. And once though you do make the decision to make those children >> live for them.

[01:07:38]>> Stop making children live Russian roulette.

[01:07:44]>> Anything can happen.

[01:07:46]>> Medical expenses. Oh ham.

[01:07:50]My child >> guys medical expenses guys. Healthare solutions.

[01:07:56]>> School fees. So stop fighting.

[01:08:00]>> [laughter] >> Please feel broke.

[01:08:07]>> Carry on with them.

[01:08:08]>> Yes.

[01:08:08]>> And then you have to do as they planning as an individual.

[01:08:12]>> Absolutely.

[01:08:12]>> You must do as they planning as a couple.

[01:08:14]>> Absolutely.

[01:08:15]>> You have no business being in a relationship, sexual relationship with a person you can't talk about money with.

[01:08:21]>> It's not right guys. And that's of course relationship.

[01:08:30][laughter] [laughter] >> I le if we are intentional about our relationships and I want to say this to women cuz men are so good at this.

[01:08:43]>> If you are with a man and you really feel that he is my future, >> please have the following conversation with him. What is his vision? How is he going to lead you? Because which is good. It provides direction and protection.

[01:08:59]>> What are his financial behaviors like?

[01:09:02]>> When last did he do a will >> and when are we going to register a family trust? Are we going to get married in or out of property? And what are your reasons? Bab, >> if he says he's not ready for that uh conversation, stop being there emotionally cuz you're going to keep putting him under pressure. Then you're going to start saying he's toxic. He's not toxic. He's just >> But also, you create expectations where you're going to get disappointed because disappointment only happens where expectations are not met.

[01:09:28]>> So, if you allow yourself to live in this potential and dream one day he's going to turn around and want to sit with you, >> all these things are going to be in place without conversation.

[01:09:38]>> It's not going to happen, guys. So, I wish them nothing but the best with their relationships. Because here's the thing about relationships. It starts with two people who love each other, who have butterflies, but the decisions they make together affect all of us as a family. So, may God bless those relationships and those butterflies, and may they only produce happy relationships and happy families as opposed to the current format of children um that are healing from divorce.

[01:10:05]>> Are you married?

[01:10:06]>> I'm not married.

[01:10:07]>> I heard on the show that you said you believe in love.

[01:10:09]>> I do. [laughter] Long time ago, love is a mental ILLNESS. I LOYAL. I did go to an event for I did go to a Valentine's Day event where I was speaking and the setup was a dinner >> and then they the couple said it is their 21st anniversary and and they wanted 21 guests and they know they're going to get 21 guests cuz the first guest is me. The 21st guest is me. It's not even a guest.

[01:10:35]>> They know you're coming by yourself.

[01:10:37]>> I'm coming alone. I'll just I shade my friends. [laughter] 011 IS MY NUMBER.

[01:10:45]>> Solah's been lovely.

[01:10:46]>> SA, you've been absolutely fantastic. I love you. I think I t [laughter] it will notate what I want to say. You understand? I I I I'm I'm always wowed by, you know, people that don't just have the expertise and don't have don't just have the willingness to share, but do it with so much grace, >> do it with so much intention.

[01:11:10]>> Right. Um, and they care about what happens. It's not a I'm doing this to make myself look smart, you know what I mean? Because anybody can look smart, you know? Um, you're doing this because you do want to change lives. And I think that's really what >> probably attracts me to you because I I I'm really really I'm humbled by it.

[01:11:31]Thank you very much for making the time.

[01:11:36]We can do the bookings.

[01:11:39]Yes, but you know this [laughter] is somebody that really is going to add value. Where can we find you?

[01:11:45]>> Um so for educational purposes, if you're not looking to spend yet, you just want to sus out, please go on my Tik Tok page, legacy, you'll find all the the topics and that's what I love about your introduction and it's what I've realized in the media recently. It doesn't matter if it's estate, marriage, maintenance, it's all of it. It's there.

[01:12:05]Then um if you want to interact with me, go on my in Instagram and Facebook.

[01:12:11]There I really am active. I comment a lot. I comment back. If you have a quick question, then I will answer. But if you really want to sit down with me, then we have to go through the formal process and that is my website www.leaces.co.z or >> info at legacy.co.z Z or you can send a WhatsApp on 067 03043.

[01:12:35]>> Love it. We'll we'll try and get that onto the screen so that everybody can get it. And I think [clears throat] Belle's once said something very important in a similar I say similar line of conversation >> and she said yeah she said >> come now when it's cheap.

[01:12:52]>> Yeah. Don't wait for the mistakes and then we must undo something first to fix >> and from a legal perspective.

[01:12:59]>> Yeah. So I know Zola says if you're not willing to spend yet we're not willing to spend.

[01:13:05]>> Come now.

[01:13:06]>> Come now.

[01:13:06]>> In the words of our sister >> in the words. [laughter] >> Go now.

[01:13:11]>> Do it now.

[01:13:11]>> Do it now. You understand? Because that will allow you to have your things in order. Every single time I coach women, especially women on their finances, the first thing that they say to me is, Nichollet, I just want to sleep well at night, knowing that's all they want >> because the sleeping well at night is going to translate to resting well.

[01:13:31]>> I've got everything that I need to have.

[01:13:33]And I think you also need to have a file when it comes to file. Yeah. Your all your legal matters. In fact, your legal matters in a file, your financial matters in a file. And know that one day these two are going to transcend. In fact, you already put them together.

[01:13:46]>> Put them together. Yeah, absolutely. But thank you very much.

[01:13:49]>> It's my pleasure. Well done. I'm very proud of you.

[01:13:52]>> Um, you're full of lights. That's It's amazing to sit next to you. I'll see.

[01:13:57]Um, and I feel good when I leave here. I will leave feeling very well. So, well done. Congratulations. Thank you. And you're my sister now.

[01:14:05]>> And of course, I >> respect my calls. [laughter] >> Go, please.

[01:14:12]>> Thank you. But everyone who's watching at home, thank you very much for tuning in. We really appreciate you. We looking forward to all of your comments, your feedback, and your questions. If you've got any, I will see you guys on the next one. Remember that this video specifically is not financial or legal advice. If you are looking for any of that expertise, please do consult. This is of course anybody that is certified and registered with the FCA for your financial matters. I'll see you guys on the next one. Bye.