Another Q&A! About Me + A-Spec Questions

追加: 2026-05-24

[00:00:00]Hello. Thank you for being here. I'm doing another Q&A. Why?

[00:00:05]Because I want to. I don't know. I mean, this time I let you guys ask, you know, whatever questions you want to ask.

[00:00:10]First question by scary sad flan. Flan is so good. Favorite aspect coded movies, TV show, books. Well, the only one that I've ever watched that had like a aspect character. Well, actually I watched two. I watched two shows that had like an aspect character and that was Heartstopper and the show Sex Ed and Steven Universe had an aspect character.

[00:00:28]So, I guess my favorite show is Steven Universe. Next question by B Bobby. How do I know if I'm aromantic or just an avoidant attachment person? You guys got to remember, I am just a person that just lifted up a camera and just started recording. So, take what I say with a grain of salt. I know what avoidant attachment is. It's like someone basically just avoids attachment and, you know, I could I'll put a definition right here. But, like an avoidant attachment person, that's something that can change, you know. Avoidant attachment person may want to have a relationship or may want to be with someone in the future. I mean, so can someone on the aromantic spectrum. [ __ ] What's the difference?

[00:01:06]>> [laughter] >> Just kidding, there's definitely a difference. But, avoidant attachment person is not really about like attraction. At least someone on the aromantic spectrum is like they don't be attracted to people the same way that the typical person is attracted to people. Like I feel like being aromantic is kind of like embedded in your DNA.

[00:01:23]But, avoidant attachment is kind of something that developed over time, like maybe as a child or your teen years or being scared to emotionally be intimate with someone. But, the thing with an aromantic person, they're not afraid to be in a relationship or afraid to be emotionally intimate with someone. It's just that they don't want to and they don't desire it. If I'm just going by very basic like definition, like very big spectrum. Hopefully you guys get what I'm saying. Do your own research at the end of the day. Let's move on to the next question. Chip N For B. What's your favorite book? What was it a couple years ago? I'm going to show you two books that I thrifted. I got this one, really good movie. I highly recommend it. It's called I'm thinking of ending things. The title is a double entendre and figuring out that double entendre is very satisfying. I'm kind of saving books for when sitting at the airport, like I don't know, places where I don't really want to be on my phone, but I'm going to be there for a long time. And a manga that I got is Goodbye, Eri. I haven't gotten to reading that book. I just saw it at the thrift and I was like, "Wow, this looks like a good book." My favorite book a couple years ago, I used to read so much in high school. If you're in high school right now, Oh, just threw up in my mouth. Sorry, high schoolers.

[00:02:29]>> [laughter] >> I definitely recommend to start getting it to get into reading books, you know?

[00:02:33]I feel like reading books was a really good thing to do. It really helps your vocabulary. It really helps with your brain and you can It's really fun to just read and I feel like a lot of people don't read as much as they used to. Ever so, my favorite book a couple years ago, besides like reading manga, I read a lot of mangas, I read a lot of comics, especially web comics, and I wish I can get into every single favorite in those books. The main book series that really stuck in my head that I read as a when I was younger was Angel Burn. You read Angel Bird Burn, not bird.

[00:03:06]Angel Bird, stop saying that. If you read Angel Burn, talk about it in the comments. I've never met another person that read it. For what I remember, it's so good. My favorite blonde, blue-eyed YA novel, which was like every novel back then. Next question, Paladins the Mage, Paladins the Mage? I don't know.

[00:03:22]How do you deal with self-doubt about being ace-spec? I occasionally struggle with thinking I'm diluting myself and it's not fun. Sit down, let me talk to you. Let me talk to you for a second, okay? Time. Time will tell, okay? Let me get off you. I used to like really struggle with that, too, of course. I mean, I still will that, but like almost every aspect for myself. Like sometimes I'm like, "Am I really Mexican?"

[00:03:43]I'm just kidding. But I struggle with thinking, like, you know, "Am I just making things up in my head?" Like just a little while ago I was like that with me being pansexual stuff. Then before then it was like the ace spec part. I don't doubt myself anymore cuz I'm just like, I think I'm over that now. Unless something happens in my life and I'm just like, [ __ ] was anything real? But, that has not happened. So, until it does happen, I don't have any more doubts.

[00:04:05]Like, I kind of look at what it is, what being ace spec is, and I kind of look within myself, and I just ask myself the questions that I need to ask, like, do I actually feel this way? Do I actually think this way? And you know, I kind of just think, you know? And it's just like, yeah, I I do actually feel that way. Then it's like, okay, you feel that way. So, it's like, why do you keep doubting yourself? Anybody can question themself anytime that they want, you know? I shouldn't feel bad about it cuz there's nothing wrong about questioning yourself. You should always be aiming to learn about who you are because you're you're constantly growing, we're constantly changing. So, it's just like, whenever there's a time when you question yourself, don't feel bad about it. It's okay to question yourself. Cuz I think the not fun part comes from words like, you I don't know, like, you feel like you're lying to people, you feel like you're lying to yourself, or you feel like you're making things up for like attention, or it's just like, all the things that people tell you. So, you kind of rub off that negative feeling that you feel from them doubting you to the negative feeling from you doubting yourself. But, you kind of have to like let go that negative feeling that comes with questioning yourself because there's nothing wrong with questioning yourself. There's nothing wrong with feeling unsure about something. I mean, we're human. We're not black and white, we're very gray creatures, you know? I hope you get something from what I'm saying if I make any sense at all. Question by L N8. Do you ever struggle with the reality of amatonormativity? I'm saying it wrong, but I know what the word means, okay? In the very least, if I say it wrong, I at least know what it means. Where it seems that a romantic relationships are the safest options, whereas friendships are fleeting. It never bothers me until it does. I do I do not stress over friends coming and going, but it does bother me that some people just treat friendships as something less [music] worthy of support than other relationships. Did realizing your aspect change your views on autonormativity of self or brings you gender euphoria at the moment? It used to really bother me that people treated like friendships less worthy than like relationships, but I kind of realized that a lot of people in general, they just [music] care more about being in a relationship than with friendships. And I guess when you're the friend, you know, that kind of sucks. For a lot of people, the top of their goal list is to be in a relationship, be married, have kids, and that be their world right there. They kind of just see friendships as like people you go to the bar with and then you go home. I had to learn to be okay with that people just see friendships as less worthy. And it used to really bother me, but now I'm just like, well, okay. You know, what can I do about that? I personally value friendships very highly. You don't? Oh, well. I guess another aspect you can kind of think about is that relationships are just genuinely more serious because you're sharing Most of the times you're sharing your body with that person. Most of your days, your hours with that person, sharing a bed with that person, sharing responsibilities. There's so many aspects to a relationship that's a lot more serious than a real than a friendship. Not that a friendship is less worthy, but it's not as serious because at the end of the day, when you're friends, most of the time you're not sharing so much together. You're still very separate. And sometimes people just don't see friendships as worthy as relationships and stuff like that. And that's just how it is. They can view friendships their way, I'll view friendships my way, and we'll move on. What brings you gender euphoria at the moment? I did a video about that just recently, but what thing I can say that I didn't say in the video, flipping flopping between wearing cologne and wearing perfume, doing whatever I want, whatever however I want to smell like, makes me feel gender euphoria. That might be very boring. Next question. 90.

[00:07:32]Not identity related, but could you talk about your sewing stuff? I don't know, like how you got started, tips you recommend, or whatever you want to say if you got stuff to say about it. I got I sewing when I was a kid, highly influenced by like Monster High and stuff like that. Like when I had dolls and stuff, I was more interested in like their aesthetics than actually playing with them. Was very more interested in like playing with their hair and like their clothes and stuff like that. And when I first started learning how to sew, it was like a you know, sewing needle and I used to like get like socks or whatever and put holes in it and put it on my dolls. But when I first like actually got into making something, my grandma gave me her her sewing machine.

[00:08:11]Oh, you can't even see. I was sewing machine over there. Okay. I don't know what kind of sewing machine. It's a Singer. That's all I can say. Cuz she knew that I like to sew or I was interested. So I was like, "Thank you, Grandma." And then it sat for a long time. And then randomly I just decided, "You know, I'm going to use the sewing machine." And so that was like a few years ago. Number one tip, just do it.

[00:08:29]Get some fabric that you don't care about, old shirt, old jeans, whatever.

[00:08:33]And just get that sewing needle, just start doing [ __ ] Another tip, if you do have a sewing machine but you're scared to like really get started on it, just like what I said earlier, just get a random piece of fabric and start practicing on the sewing machine. Like the sewing machine is a lot more durable than you think. Next question, by Apollo Ichor 23. Did you ever deal with imposter syndrome or internalized aphobia or acephobia? And if you did and don't anymore, how did you overcome it?

[00:08:58]I didn't really have a problem with like being asexual or being aromantic besides just believing that I was going to be alone forever because I also was fearing that I wouldn't have the safety net of a relationship cuz you know, if you don't have friends, at least you have a your partner. If I don't have friends and a partner, I'm going to be alone.

[00:09:13]But then I realized, relax, man. Chill.

[00:09:16]If you don't have friends, make more friends. And if you are struggling to make friends, you know, just keep trying and don't give up. Acephobia? I didn't really Besides feeling freakish, the the main thing that had me overcome the hate for myself, time, learning about myself, growing, teaching myself a lot of things and like like learning that is not because of being ace but it's actually just for mental health or lack of friends and feeling lonely and depression and stuff like that. Cliffy sings stuff. Do you sing? How do you handle people that try to make you feel uncomfortable with their bigotry, especially when it's a certain family member? I came out to my family last year and while twin brother and older sister have my back and call me by my preferred name, my mother and eldest brother have not been so kind. My eldest brother is an empathetic politician and thinks that seeing me as my old name and gender while still protecting me is being good that queerness is awful. My mother, on the other hand, is very against it. Sometimes she says things that are meant to make me feel bad and while she doesn't see it as manipulation, it is emotional abuse. She also thinks that because I am identify as non-binary, she sees that as portraying women and therefore believes I am a misogynist. But I'm not. I like that womanhood is one of the many layers of of myself and even though I'm not going by female, I am still proud that womanhood was part of me and I'm going to support women as much as the women in my life who have supported me and my twin brother. But as you try live day by day, how do you handle the bigotry that that people will say, especially someone in your family? There's never going to be a time when you're okay how you're being treated and stuff or how you just want to be supported but this is not happening, especially when it's family, you know, they'll always see you as who you were when you were a kid. I'm not who I am a couple years ago and I'm definitely not the same as who I was 10 years ago. There's nothing I can do about that. A part of them is just like thinking that you're changing yourself and they love you and they don't want you to change. When you change and you do things that they don't agree with, it's kind of like I guess it hurts them and it and it offends them. Sometimes people lash out in very harmful ways and sometime they purposely hurt you. I kind of deal with that by adding distance. I kind of deal with that by just keep moving on and doing me and kind of add the mindset of like, if you don't accept me, I will find people that will. Like I'm not going to get like upset over something that you don't even understand or even want to understand. When it's someone that doesn't get it, doesn't want to get it, you kind of just have to be like, "Fine. You don't want to get me. I'm not going to put in so much effort in trying to convince you of this or trying to make you get me when you don't want to get me." So, I guess with family, it's just like I don't stop trying to be myself just because they don't like it. And just overall, I'm sorry that you're going through that experience. I [music] know how it feels, and I know that it sucks, and you go find a safe space and other people who accepts you for who you are, but you have to go make that safe space. And just hope that one day that they can get around, and hopefully they, you know, once they see you being you, and that really nothing else about you has really changed, and that you're still you, you know, eventually their perspective of you might change, and they might realize that they were just being silly or they're like, "Wow, I was just freaking out over nothing." And sometimes they don't ever come around. That's another thing you just have to let happen. Next question. Cat likes cats. Yeah.

[00:12:25]Considering that there's a lot of ways to feel attraction, romantic, platonic, really, really cool friends, but not romantic. QPR. How do you determine which one you feel? Is that something that comes with time or experience, or did you find a label one day that match pretty well? I'm aromantic, like romance-repulsed aromantic. I feel like it's pretty easy to tell when you're repulsed by something. People trying to get with you, you're just like, "Disgusting." Or where you do get in your first relationship and you're like, "Disgusting." But it's kind of different for the graysexual label because I went from identifying as asexual to graysexual cuz over time I realized things about myself, and I realized things were not as it seems. How do I determine which one I feel between romantic, platonic, really, really cool friends, and not romantic? [music] It kind of changes a little bit from person to person. Like in my case, I've always just wanted to be friends with people. I never really wanted to be with someone.

[00:13:11]It was just always like, "I want to be their friend." And sometimes I'm just like, "I really want to be their friend." When other people talk about crushes and how they feel about crushes, and I'm just like, "I don't want to do those things to those people." How I can tell that I just want to be friends with someone is just what I want [music] and don't want to do with them, and what do I want from them? I think that's kind of a decent enough answer. Poorly timed sarcasm. What were some of your childhood TV shows? Pretty much anything that was on Cartoon Network, but mainly Adventure Time. Before Adventure Time, it was like Teen Titans. Those were like my favorite. But that's all for questions. Thanks for commenting.

[00:13:43][music] Thanks for questioning. Goodbye.