Narcissistic individuals use manipulation tactics like gaslighting, emotional provocation, and triangulation to control their victims, and the only effective response is complete no-contact separation, as narcissism is an incurable personality trait that cannot be changed; victims should recognize warning signs such as lack of empathy, love bombing, and multiple past relationships, and understand that prolonged exposure to narcissistic abuse can cause significant psychological harm requiring years of recovery.
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COMPLETELY CUT THEM OUT!Added:
The other day I had my friend over who is in an artistic relationship. Uh they just had babies unfortunately. Uh luckily they're not married but uh now they tied up for life. So obviously I am careful what I can say to her because um she is feeling stuck and uh the reason why I'm making this video because uh when she came over we had a really good time. Um, she was trying to relax because she actually had to run away.
So, so I was like trying to make her relax. Made breakfast, you know, she slept over, we watched a movie, had pizza, you know, it was really good and we had a really good time and I was trying to make her relax. But at the end of the day, what he did is the usual stuff. He reached out to her. He made her call back. He literally manipulated her to have a call back. It was like pulling someone by the strings. So, he knew what to text to her to piss her off. So, she's going to start uh initiate the phone call. And when she's in the call, he was making sure that she was she was going to be upset. So, basically, they had an hour fight over the phone. And I was trying to tell her, you know, I was like, "Listen, just hang up. Just hang up. Just leave live." And she was just in in it. And I remember because it was such a long time ago. It just reminded me when I was in there, when I was 32 and I was in a relationship like that. He was pulling me by the strings. He knew what buttons to push in order to make me upset. And because I didn't know who he was or kind of like I don't didn't understand that there are people like this who would do this on purpose. Um I thought he was always just saying what's on his mind.
But no, actually they're trying to push you into the edge. They want you to be upset. So the whole game is about to make you upset. It's not about that you forgot to do something or it's not about that you didn't do something for them.
It's because they are not in the center of attention. And they hate that. And they're going to make everything in their power to make you feel miserable, to punish you, to to make you cry, to make you upset, to make you unbalanced.
And um they can even use your children to do that. Um so yeah, it's really sad.
Uh and they frequently using their children actually to do that. So I was thinking about straight away. I was like, "Oh my god, I need to make a video about this." Because basically this is really important to understand the game. So once you are near any narcissist, you can be in a relationship, they can be your parent, they can be uh your um siblings, your friend, your neighbor. So to understand the game is really crucial because once you understand the game, they cannot play you anymore. Like let's say now I know all these narcissistic people, they literally can't play me because as soon as I saw their game because I already recognized them, so I already put them in the box. If they're narcissistic, they will not uh be removed from that box. they will stay there forever. So once they got the label from me that they are narcissistic people, I understood that they are like that forever. There is no change. There is no like oh maybe they improving. No, there is no improvement. There is zero chance of improvement. It's forever for life.
Uncurable. Sorry, incurable. So, but if if I have still a doubt, let's say I I just get to know someone and you know, I'm just like thinking like if if they are, but uh I can see these games, I will put them into that box straight away. So, that's how I deal with them.
Now, I don't have time uh for their games. So, let's say they're trying to gaslight me with something like, "Oh, but you were like this."
I don't even react like I'm just like you know I'm just saying something below the bell for them as well because you have to uh otherwise um otherwise they they think you are an easy target but if they uh feel the um the power from your side as well they kind of backing off a little bit because they're not that good you know they're not they're not terminators you know they're not just like you better than anyone. They just think they are better than anyone but they actually not. So, so yeah, it's really important to understand the game because once you understand the game, you're not going to play along. So, let's say what I would have done differently if I would would to be hurt now. So, let's say he texting me to push me off to the edge. I would have switched off my phone, go on uh airplane mode, so he cannot reach me.
Okay, that's great because if he can't reach me, there is no communication. So zero communication. So cut the communication with them. It's really important. Especially if you want to leave them, you have to cut all ties with them. I remember when I left mine, I cut uh uh obviously all channels of communication with him. Everything, everything, email, every I blocked him everywhere. Phone, message, whatever.
You know, he can still reach out somehow. But I was blocking again. So whenever he was trying to reach me, I block, block, block, block. So just keep on blocking. I know it's really tiring and it seems silly but uh you have to because this is literally the the devil is trying to reach you and also I had to unfortunately remove my friends friends.
So it was like all shared friends and because I knew he would manipulate them to contact me I had to remove them as well. So I cut all ties with his friends you know everything. I deleted everyone.
Somebody was adding me on Facebook. I was like no we have nothing to talk about. I already knew what he want to talk about. And um so yeah so this is really important to no contact and also if you want to leave them I mean I understand some people feeling stuck with them like for example let's say if they they are your parent I would encourage everyone to limit the conversation with them and if you can cut them out of your life fully let's say my brother is narcissistic for example I blocked him okay I blocked him I'm I'm my dad is keep saying to me to to talk to him again but honestly I I don't miss him. I don't have any uh desire to talk to him. Uh he's full on narcissistic and he never did anything for me. So I'm not, you know, I don't feel anything that I lost literally. So it's how sad is that? But I didn't feel his loss. So it's like he's like a stranger to me. And um so yeah, that's how I deal with it. So if you can cut them out, cut them out. Move away. Move to another town. Don't give your details out to them. Nothing. And don't lean back to them. Don't visit them. Don't, you know, just leave them. Just leave them and start to heal because the whole thing is one day um with you, you going to be so miserable that it actually can causes brain damage to us. So we actually not just breaking they're not just breaking our heart but it actually changes our uh uh our the structure of our brain. So it can actually cause like kind of like a brain damage and it takes time if we ever recover from that you know. So we have to uh take time to heal. It's going to take years. I'm not lying. For example, my 7-year relationship uh it took me at least 2 years to recover. 2 years I didn't even want anyone to come near me because I was scared that you know I will meet again with someone like that. I was like I don't need anything like this. I was like I just want to be left alone. And for two years and after two years I was like okay maybe I should start to date with someone. So that that was when I started to open up. So and my radar was still not good because I still didn't learn at the time. I remember I think it was a few years after when first I heard about what is narcissistic. So I didn't know let's say I left him in 2013. I think I didn't know what is narcissistic until about 2017 2018. That's when I maybe first heard about this term. But you know I I still didn't really look into it. I didn't pay attention. I just, you know, I was like, "Oh, probably he was like that." But I I wasn't still sure. I didn't know what are the signs, what to look out for. Now it's crystal clear to me. It's like so clear that it's clearer than the blue sky, you know? It's like I can easily tell who is who is narcissistic. I have a radar built in, you know? They can't even come near me because I already like I already know.
They don't even have to like, you know, they can't push me too much because uh straight away I pull back because I am in power. I I decide how is my day going to be, not them. They're not going to be be able to piss me off. And if it's on purpose, I just smile on purpose because they hate that. They don't want to be um um not affecting someone else. You know, they want to be effective. They want to make your uh day uh miserable, especially if you have a good day. They want to pull you down because no one can feel better than them. Just they it's all about them. So they are kind of like demonic. It's like I call them a bit like possessed, you know. It's like I think they are under a bad spiritual vibe and uh I don't know what to say who sent them, but they definitely demonic to me. And um so yeah, so try to cut them out for good forever. Let's say uh I read this story the other day. There was this girl, it's like probably a typical scenario. She has um relationship with her boss who is married. Okay, typical narcissistic dude. And she got pregnant and now the guy doesn't talk to her. So basically he just left her in the deep Sorry, deep end of the problem. So what I'm trying to say is that uh what she she was like, "Oh, what should what what what she should do? She's not sure." Uh she was like hoping that she can talk to him or something. And I suggested just get some financial help from council and also get a lawyer to get uh you know um child support from him. So he may he has to pay for it. But don't contact with him because it's pointless. It's pointless to cry and also there's no point to pick up the conversation with him. Why would you want to be in a conversation with a with a demonic spirit? Why would you want to be near someone who is just hurting you every single day, bringing you down? Uh, and I understand they can have good sex or, you know, excellent sex. Usually, they are really good in bed because they had so many partners, you know, and they know exactly what what the other wants.
So, they're going to provide it. That's why they're really good in bed. And people like, oh, but we had such a good sex life. It doesn't matter because at the end of the day, your life is in ruins because of them. So, no matter how good is the sex, you're still going to be miserable. you're going to put on weight, somebody uh build up autoimmune diseases. I've seen woman who lost their hair. Okay. I've seen Instagram uh videos about a girl who has a channel and she she she was like a beautiful blonde girl and now she looks like a like a grandma and it's because she was in an abusive narcissistic relationship.
So, you know, it can really affect your like I remember I put on 20 kilogram when I was with him. I put on 20 kilogram and it took me a while to lose it. So, I'm not going to lie, you know, I I I look bad as well because he was keep saying, "Oh, how you look like? Oh, look at yourself." You know, it was just like keep putting me down every single time. And I'm like a like an emotional eater. I was eating more, you know, I was trying to compensate with nice tasty meals and yeah, it was just not working obviously. So, what I'm trying to say is why would you want to be near? So if you have a relationship without a kid, without a marriage, please leave them.
Like I'm encouraging everyone who has narcissistic guy. And the thing is people like, "Oh, probably he's not narcissistic." You know what? I bet he is. I bet he is because there are lots of them outside. Uh I think on paper it's like 20%. So imagine imagine the reality. The chances are really high that you're going to bump into a narcissistic dude. And you can understand straight away because what they don't have is lack of empathy. So they have zero understanding how do you feel? They never going to ask how do you feel? They never going to ask. Yeah.
Exactly. You're never going to hear a narcissistic person asking you how do you feel because they have no understanding what does it mean? They have no compassion. They don't even care how do you feel. So at the end of the day, it's really important to watch the signs if you're not sure. So the chances are really high that you are able to bump into a narcissistic person because dude or woman because we can have woman as well obviously. Uh the the signs are a bit harder to tell when it comes to a woman. Usually what's going to happen what I've seen I have a narcissistic girl who who is who was my friend before who was our friend and we all left her.
She was ridiculous and she was just manipulating everyone. She wanted everyone to fight with each other. She wanted um things from you. Like if she did something for you, it's because she wanted something more from you. Like she wanted like oh I you know I did that.
Why don't you do that for me? You have to do this for me. You have to because I did that for you. You know so it's like she was taking like she was uh literally just she was not selfless. she was not uh you know helpful. She was very very calculative and uh she liked uh you know to take advantage of your um let's say if you have issues any uh problems in your life they are there you know to help you but that is going to have a price so they're not just going to help you for free it's going to have a big price it's like they are like heas so yeah so that's that's all I know about narcissistic girls I don't know much more uh you tell me your story um But uh about guys, I can tell a lot. So usually they have a lack of empathy.
They have zero understanding of how do you feel. They don't care how do you feel. They also um just literally uh manipulating you.
So they want to push your buttons and they want to kind of like hurt you in a in a direction which which they want to hurt you. So you know it's like basically they want to put you down. That's that's the main thing. But they also a few steps ahead. So if they want something from you, they're going to say something to you which they know what you're going to react and then already the next step is their next question. So you know what I'm saying?
They always a step ahead. So you have to be really prepared. So that's why it's not good to talk to them. That's why you have to cut ties with them because they are demonic spirits. Please cut the ties with them. Please leave them. Please don't waste any more time. Like I don't understand like why I spent seven years with him. I was back and forth, back and forth. And at the end of the day, if you see someone is not working, you should leave at the first red flag because they can kill you, they can kidnap you, they can stab you, they can strangle you, they can rape you, they can do so many things, they can steal from you. I've seen this woman.
I mean, I've seen so many stories lately, you know, some girl, she went on a date uh to I think to Jamaica, from New York, and yeah, she got killed and Yeah.
And uh because the guy was a narcissistic dude and he just wanted her money and so so that's that. Or there are other women who who going out with dudes who have already multiple mamas, you know, multiple ex-wives, multiple exartners.
That's a warning sign. Let's say if somebody has multiple ex exartners, that's a warning sign already itself.
Okay? So because that means that means so many people didn't see them as a good partner. So it means they are not a good partner. So that should be already a red flag. If you can see that they have many uh relationships before you that's pure red flag. Or if they want to move in straight away that's a red flag. If they want to move things seriously like straight away like oh I'm in love like straight away that's a red flag. If you can't see any issues with them, it's a red flag.
If you um putting them on a pedestal, that's a red flag. That's what I did last time. I was like, "Oh my god, I'm putting him on a pedestal." Because he was a narcissistic. He was love bombing me. Uh he was actually running up on the stairs ahead of me and he didn't wait for me. That was my first sign. I was like, "Oh my god, is he a narcissistic?"
That was my first warning sign that he ran up on the stairs. And I was like, "Why is he running on the stairs?" Like, you know, I'm dragging. I was behind him, like well behind him. And I didn't see the point. Why would you run when I'm behind? If something happens to me, you don't even going to notice or what?
Like, you know, that was like I was like, "Okay, he doesn't care about me."
So, that was the first warning sign.
So, yeah, there are multiple warning signs, but what we should do is really we should not wait any longer. We should not just hang around and hope hoping that he going to change. We don't have to earn the love. Many many uh girls uh thinking we have to earn, we have to be good, we have to be a good girl, we have to do what we told, we have to behave in a certain way. No, real love is nothing to do with that. Real love is literally um respect and admiration. So the guy the right guy is going to admire you.
the right guy is going to do do stuff for you, not expecting you to do stuff from them for them. So you see the you see the the power balance. So they should be they should be admiring us and um you know in in in exchange the woman's love is the way we uh express our love is that we nurture we nurture them. We make a good like let's say they because they supposed to provide as well. So let's say they they do the food chopping and you're going to cook for them a nice meal, you know, like that.
But you shouldn't do everything. You shouldn't go for food shopping and cook the meal and uh entertain him as well.
We are not a we are not a entertainment center. We are not um you know a good good time house. And some guys for example I remember I had many guys who was uh trying to approach me and they thought they can come over to mine but they would never show their place. they would never show because obviously they had something to hide. Obviously they had uh multiple lives, they had even a girlfriend at home. So these are also warning signs. So make sure that uh you know who you're dating uh from multiple sources. I mean I'm not telling to you to to go somewhere where you don't u feel safe. Let's say you just met with someone obviously you don't go to their house. First you get to know them. It's going to take time and you have to know friends of friend who who also know them. You can't just rely on his word.
It's really important these days. It's really important to get to know your uh future partner from multiple sources because if they vouch for him, they're going to be like, "Oh yeah, you know, they don't even have to tell because they're going to love him. They're going to have a good relationship with him."
And you're going to see them acting in a friendly way, in a friendly manner.
You're going to see them they are having a healthy healthy friendship. You're going to see him them he's respectful to his friends. He's respectful to the waiter. He's he respectful to the to the people on the street. He's going to be respectful to his employer. You're going to see him acting like a normal healthy person. And that's the moment when you are probably safer to visit his house.
But before you not and before you shouldn't let him into your house either. It's not like oh my god there is a hookup and let's just go home. Not this these days gone and it's really dangerous to to do that. So also guys should earn our trust. They shouldn't just be given because they are if you think about it they are u predator. They are literally like um um a full-on dangerous u predators. So they can actually kill us because we are actually weaker physically and not mentally obviously but physically can be weaker usually and it's really important to filter them out. You can't just let them let random guy especially if you have a kids you can't let them over. Like there was this girl um she was going out with a guy in um in Arizona I think so and basically she had a 12-year-old um son and she was a nurse and she got killed by the guy because she turned him down.
She was like with the guy for 7 years and then she said no I don't want anymore and she said uh you know we finished and she started to date to the new guy and uh she had to file a restraining order against the guy because he was already acting dangerous.
So she went to the police and she said this is this guy wants to kill me and I'm really in danger and uh yeah the next 5 days he killed her. So he went over to her place and he killed her and he did everything nasty to her. So you know things can happen when you choose the bad guy even if you already with them for a long time. So do not let someone some stranger just to walk into your house like that because even after 7 years she didn't see the signs straight away. She she only saw the signs later. The first few years probably she was love love bombed by this narcissistic psychob. So you know they can be psychopath as well not just narcissistic. So, and that's really tough because it's really hard to tell those signs, but the narcissistic is really obvious. So, if somebody's narcissistic, that should be more than enough for uh someone to be left alone and they shouldn't get married. These people are not marriage material.
Doesn't matter if it's female or male, they should not be married because they are just going to use and abuse. And people like, "Oh, can they love me?" No, they have no idea what does it mean love. They only uh love you to to to to kind of like um make you do things. So let's say they pretending to love you.
It's not real love and it's not real feelings. They have literally zero feelings. They just look at you like how they can use you. So let's say are you a good use for them? Are they can financially abuse you, sexually abuse you or you know like taking this energy dynamic from you? Because if they can, they're going to continue to do so. But if they cannot because you're not going to have the the grip anymore, so they're going to lo lose the grip on you. Then they're gonna gonna u kind of peel off.
Some of them going to be aggressive and kill you. But some of them will will be peeling off. For example, my ex, I was able to leave him because he already had the new supply. He already had the new supply there and that's why I had an easy game. But sometimes if they don't have the new supply, usually they have, that's the thing, they love triangulation. So they always try to make sure that they have multiple person around them. So they can play with it that they can make you jealous like oh are you jealous? You know they can make uh themselves more important in your life and they can also you know just um make you upset as well at the same time.
So it's two in one. You would think like there are no people like that but I'm telling you there are one in five people is like that on paper. So probably there is more. So let's say 20 25% uh is like that. How bad is that? You know, so if you're talking to four people that one is definitely going to be one of them.
So you know, it's like you have to be really careful. That's why if you go on go out on dating sites and stuff, it's full of narcissistic dudes. That's why I wouldn't suggest you to go there because they can love bomb you and then you on the hook and they're not going to let you go. So yeah, this is my little advice for people who are feeling stuck.
Make yourself unstuck and make your way out as soon as possible. There is no time to waste. Any time you waste, you're wasting your life. Any moment you giving away, uh, you're losing. Doesn't matter. You just leave them and start to heal in a new environment where they cannot reach you. So that's my final word. Remove yourself from the environment completely. Take care. All the best. Bye.
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